Misfit Toy Hero Squad
by Cassprincess
Summary: After 372 years, another young man has been gifted with the power of fire after the crimson moon.  Can thirteen young people and their new talents come together and protect each other from harm? Sci-fi!Puckleberry, Klaine, Finncedes, Chang-squared & More
1. Chapter 1

I should not be doing this. I should REALLY not be doing this. But I literally can't help myself. I promise that Fuickleberry is not abandoned. I'm working on that chapter but the whole story is being difficult, and I HAD to write this. I hope that you forgive me and enjoy.

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 1 – "Total Eclipse of the Moon"_

_

* * *

On the winter solstice in the year 1638, eight young men and one lone girl travelling to the Plymouth Church from a small, distant village in Massachusetts witnessed an event not to be seen again for another 372 years. These nine teenager' lives were forever changed by what they had witnessed. Their very beings literally evolved due to the events of that night. They were the first. Their children, their children's children, and the children hundreds of years later would lay in wait for another glimpse of the red winter moon that changed those original eight so drastically._

_On the winter solstice in the year 2010, seven young men and six young women travelling home to Lima, Ohio from a lovely event in Dalton Academy witnessed an event that had not happened for 372 years. These thirteen teenagers' lives were also forever changed by what they had witnessed. They did not know it yet, but every fiber in their body was changing as they watched the night sky in wonder. They are the second. Their parents, their grandparents and their earliest known ancestors had waited with baited breath for the return of the red winter moon that would change everyone so drastically._

_This is their story.

* * *

_

"Goddammit, Hummel. You got us lost!" Noah Puckerman roared angrily as he glared at the boy he used to toss into dumpsters. What Puck wouldn't do for a dumpster right now. They were stranded in the middle of freaking nowhere, eleven members of the McKinley High School Glee Club, plus two Dalton members in Kurt and Blaine. Puck took one menacing step towards Kurt and hissed angrily when he felt a cold, shaking hand on his bare forearm. "Rachel, don't think you could even try and stop me from using Kurt's necktie to strangle the fucker."

"Noah, this is helping no one," Rachel said with as much authority as she could, although her teeth were chattering away, making her sound more like Tina Cohen-Chang in sophomore year. "Besides, Kurt knows cars better than anyone else here."

"You do?" Blaine looked at Kurt curiously, a sparkle of amusement settled into his eyes.

"Dad owns a garage," Kurt shrugged.

"If you can fix the van, Blaine will do you," Puck promised suddenly.

"NOAH!" Rachel swatted at him ineffectually as her body was trembling from the cold so badly that she practically had no control over her higher motor functions.

"Whatever, Hogwarts-dude totally just got pre-wood from the idea of Kurt all greased up in one piece overalls," Puck insisted. He looked down at Rachel and furrowed his brow as she literally shook like a leaf in front of him from the frigid temperatures of the first early morning of winter. He shrugged out of his letterman jacket and tossed it on her haphazardly.

"Noah, you'll freeze!" Rachel squeaked.

"Fuck that noise, I'm hot as hell," Puck promised lazily. He could practically feel Blaine's amused glance bouncing off his badassness and he tossed a sneer the newcomer's way, "I totally blame you if we freeze to death out here. And since you're the new kid on the block, we're eating you first when we need food. Evans is second in line, but I'm really thinking with all the protein powder the kid snorts, he'll probably be really gamey."

"Good to know that you've logically thought about devouring your classmates," Rachel sighed, considerably warmer know that she had secured Puck's jacket around her. It held an amazing amount of residual warmth from his body, although she would never tell him that lest she wanted to listen to him talk about how blazing hot body for fifteen minutes.

"I'm sorry, for what it's worth," Blaine admitted. "I mean, Kurt has been missing you guys. And Rachel and Mercedes seemed to miss him, and Dalton's winter formal was-"

"A lovely event, I assure you," Rachel smiled warmly. "It's just a little car trouble. Kurt will have this fixed in no time."

"Is the car fixed yet?" Finn brought the passenger side window of the large van ever so slightly.

"Working on it," Kurt sighed from underneath the hood. He peered up at the dimly lit night sky and frowned. "If I had more light…"

"Yo, losers! Everyone bundle up and out of the van. Hummel needs light. Bring your cell phones," Puck ordered.

Sam was the first out of the van, which seemed to be the cue for everyone else to enter, holding their cellphones above the exposed guts of the van so that Kurt could see what he was doing. Burt Hummel had already been called and was on his way with a tow truck and extra transport for the teenagers, but they were all freezing, save for Puck and his _hot bod_ and they were all anxious to at least have the van give them a little heat.

"I'll never trust Pastor Wen and his supposedly nice favors ever again," Mike sighed.

"Yeah? I'll never trust Asian people again," Puck smirked.

"You're an asshole," Tina rolled her eyes.

"And you're Asian, so I don't trust what you say," Puck shrugged. Rachel pinched the exposed skin of his forearm between her fingers, astonished to find him still very warm despite the minus 5 degree wind chill they were currently stuck in. The side of his mouth raised in a lopsided smirk aimed right at the tiny brunette wearing his letterman jacket over her own ineffectual winter coat. Rachel's fingers stayed on his forearm and she furrowed her brow in wonder at the scientific mystery that was currently Puck's body. He leaned in and whispered, his breath piping hot against her ear, "You like the hot body, right?"

"How will they get the fire department trucks up there. I'm pretty sure those hoses can't reach," Brittany said quietly, her eyes focused on the night sky. She furrowed her brow in confusion but shrugged it off, pulling away from the huddled group of assorted Glee club members and rushing towards the van's door, where Artie was poking his head out, trying to assess what was going on with the van and his teammates. "Artie, look! The moon is totally on fire!"

All thirteen teenagers looked to the sky in confusion, and there it was, a full, red moon in a completely clear sky. They gaped in awe, Mercedes actually managed to turn the camera of her phone on so that she could record the moment for posterity. Time seemed to slow as they silently watched the celestial phenomena unfold. They would never be able to fully understand what was happening, but suddenly the certain death by frostbite they were sure they would endure disappeared as a warmth began to surround them like a cocoon. Finn actually mopped his brow of sweat at one point as the minutes ticked slowly by in the growing warmth of the winter night.

Rachel couldn't understand what was happening, but she felt Puck's skin, which had been surprisingly and pleasantly warm moments before heat up considerably. Her fingertips felt like they were about to be scorched against his skin and she looked up at him and let out one soft," Oh my."

"Huh?" Puck wondered, looking down at her curiously. He didn't quite understand why she looked like she did all of a sudden. Scared. Astonished. Freaked the hell out.

"Noah…you're on fire!" Rachel breathed in amazement.

The rest of the kids looked to the pair of them curiously, before letting out a perfectly synchronized and harmonized gasp of fear and surprise. Schue would have been proud. Puck looked down at his arm and sure enough, at the place where Rachel's fingertips had been moments before, a considerable flame had begun to burn, right on his skin. He looked at Rachel in stunned amazement. He didn't feel _anything_. Just sort of warm. And kind of _good_.

Sam acted first, bending and picking as much snow as his hands could gather, tossing it on Puck's blazing arm. The flames flickered slightly, but did not extinguish.

"Now that's freaky shit right there," Puck surmised in quiet amazement. "Someone figure this out before my brain catches up and I freak the fuck out."

Santana acted next, grabbing the water bottle that was in her coat pocket, uncorking it and jerking her wrist so that it flew from the bottle. Brittany watched in amazement as the water arched gracefully, and it seemed like it was going to miss Puck's arm entirely, until the splash of water seemed to change course very suddenly, landing definitively on Puck's arm. It evaporated immediately.

"Okay, freaking the fuck out now!" Puck growled as he felt another warmth from his other arm. He glanced down in horror and saw that his other arm was now ablaze, still no pain, just a little warmer than he had already been. "Help me out here guys…"

He looked around at the shock on everyone's face and his gaze settled on Rachel finally. They exchanged a look, one that wordlessly seemed to communicate his fear and desperation and dire need of assistance. She bit her lip slightly as the fire seemed to grow larger, spreading down to Puck's hands rapidly, all of his exposed skin was becoming rapidly engrossed in flames. Rachel wondered slightly if it hurt, but she knew intrinsically as she stared at him with wide doe eyes that it didn't. She could tell he was feeling no pain.

"Please."

His one word was directed at her. He sort of felt like Rachel Berry had been his access portal straight to God, as in the past year and half, God seemed to speak to him directly through everything related to Rachel Berry. She took a deep breath as the other Glee clubbers began to stumble backwards and away from the sudden inferno that Puck's body was.

Rachel Berry took one step towards him.

"Noah…I need you to calm down," Rachel said softly, taking one more step towards him.

"Calm down? CALM THE EVERY FUCKITY FUCK DOWN! Rachel, I'm on FUCKING FIRE!" Puck shouted.

"Noah, please, take a deep breath and calm down," Rachel reiterated, taking another step forward even as her teammates took another step away.

"Rachel, get the hell away from me, what the fuck are you doing? I'm on FIRE," Puck reiterated irately, hoping to get it through her skull that he was engulfed in flames. He shook his head as she stepped ever closer. "Get away…you're going to get hurt."

"No. I'm not," Rachel insisted strongly. "Calm down."

"You really are fucking batshit crazy, you're going to light yourself on fire!" Puck desperately insisted. "Back off. I'm going to hurt you…"

"No. You won't," Rachel shook her head resolutely, she was close enough to feel his body ablaze, her cheeks turned a rosy red color from the heat of it, just like sitting in front of a roaring fireplace. She reached a hand up, going to his cheek slowly. "You won't hurt me, Noah. Calm down."

He watched in horror as her fingertips got ever closer to his skin and something inside of him clicked. He felt her cool fingertips against his skin and the fire slowly began to die down, embers floating up into the air as the crackling and roaring sound that was literally his body burning moments before ceased and only his steady, deep breaths remained. Rachel smiled and patted his cheek.

"Better?" she whispered.

"Yeah," Puck nodded.

"What in the HELL was that?" Quinn demanded, gripping Sam's hand tightly as the group slowly inched towards Rachel and Puck once more. "You were on fire."

"You were-"

"I wouldn't make a flaming joke if I were you, Finn Hudson!" Rachel ordered harshly. "I think if he's angry, it'll come back."

"Alright, this is fucked up shit, right here. What's going on?" Santana demanded.

The roaring sound of Burt Hummel's tow truck cut the conversation short. The tow truck was followed closely by an SUV, and all thirteen children suddenly stood shoulder to shoulder, Rachel now gripping Puck's hand in an effort to keep him calm and controlled. She felt someone squeeze her shoulder and threw a smile at Kurt, who was furrowing his brow anxiously.

"I really wish I had gotten the van to work earlier. It might have saved us from all…_this_," Kurt sighed.

The van's engine, which had been abandoned the minute Rachel had announced that Puck was on fire, suddenly roared to life, sounding better than before. Puck and Rachel looked at each other curiously, while Kurt took a deep, confused breath and said quickly, "I really wish I had a million dollars. Right now."

"Doesn't work that way, son," Burt Hummel laughed as he walked towards the group of teenagers. He looked back to the SUV and shrugged as the driver climbed out.

"Coach Bieste?" Sam furrowed his brow. "What are you doing here?"

Shannon Bieste looked up towards the moon and sighed. She shared a small, conciliatory smile with Burt Hummel. It was never supposed to be them. It was always supposed to be these kids. She surveyed each of them carefully, wondering who had been first. She saw how Puck was distanced from the other kids on the end, with only Rachel clinging to his hand. Figures he would manifest first. According to his mother, he did every major life milestone before his peers, including French kissing his nursery school teacher.

The football coach smiled kindly at all of them and shook her head in approval, "Let's get out of here, kids. We have a lot of explaining to do."

* * *

So...thoughts? Questions? Theories? I love action. I love supernatural stuff. I love fun dialogue. Hopefully this story does all that. Thanks for reading, I'd love to hear your thoughts!


	2. Chapter 2

The response to this story has been absolutely mind- blowingly amazing. I'm happy to see that people got it. I'm super duper excited to continue. Thank you so much for the support. It means the world to me. And now...on with the freak show.

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 2 – "Let's do the Van Warp Again"_

_

* * *

_

_In the beginning, it is always fire. Everything starts with fire. The beginning of a galaxy starts with a fiery explosion. Man walked out of caves when they finally found fire again. Even the very conception of every human being starts from one moment of fire. Twice now, a set of young people were essentially created from the same fiery crimson moon._

_Everything afterwards is created in response to the fire. The need to see the fire. Understand the fire. Extinguish the fire. Control the fire. Harness the fire. Move away from the fire. To bend away from it. To recover from it. _

_It is always fire in the beginning. 272 years ago, it began with a young man who discovered fire in his skin. For our young unproven heroes in Lima, Ohio, it is just the same. Fire first. And then…_

* * *

The Gleeks had been divided up amongst the vehicles and a stern warning from Coach Bieste had set them on their way.

"Go straight to the McKinley Gym. No where else."

There was no room in her words for argument, and at that point the thirteen high school students had little energy left in them to argue. The vehicle assignments had been another story altogether. Mike had insisted on being able to drive his Pastor Wen's van, lest he want to be "buried under a shit storm of groundings from his menopausal mother forever and ever and ever". Tina went with him, perhaps a tad overdramatic in insisting that if he were to die, then she would die too.

Burt Hummel and Coach Bieste had conversed quietly and insisted that Kurt would have to travel with the previously broken down van for some mysterious, unknown reason. Blaine had been quick to accompany the boy, uncomfortable being around the other people he barely knew.

Puck and Rachel had patiently waited for their assignments, however they never came from the adults who had taken control of the ridiculous scene. Coach Bieste had asked for volunteers to host the pair.

"I know you're all scared. But I promise, he won't hurt you. Rachel sticks with him, though. They're a package deal right now," Bieste darted her eyes to the pair of outcasts nestled amongst the outcasts. Rachel was still gripping Puck's hand, but Puck was far from complaining. The heat and out of control spiraling feeling he had experienced earlier under the red moon were gone so long as Rachel didn't let go.

"Get in the van, Puck," Mike insisted calmly. He gave a half smile Rachel's way and said, "You're on him like glue, Rach."

"Okay," Rachel said softly, her vast vocabulary and gargantuan sentences having left her earlier in the night.

Puck and Rachel stepped towards the van and Puck could only look at Mike with apologetic and wary eyes. Puck tried to open his mouth only to close it, repeating the process a few times before finally spewing out a gruff, "Thanks."

"You're my homeboy. Can't let you burn all by yourself out here," Mike shrugged. He tried to find words that better suited his feelings but could only mumble, "You're my homeboy. No homo."

"I think that I should make a _Puck is my Homeboy_ shirt and try to sell it to Hot Topic," Tina mumbled from the front passenger seat. She smiled through the rear view as Puck and Rachel marched to the very last row of the van. "Would you sue me for royalties?"

"I've already trademarked the name," Puck offered semi-weakly.

Once all the passengers were securely belted in, Mike put the van in drive, following the other vehicles as closely as possible. Blaine turned in his seat and stared at Puck and Rachel unabashedly. It lasted all of five minutes before Kurt pinched Blaine's bicep in warning. He tried to wordlessly communicate with his Dalton schoolmate that it was probably not a good idea to poke the big inferno that was slouched in the backseat, clutching at Rachel Berry's hand as if she were the last life preserver on the Titanic.

"I'm just curious," Blaine whispered. He jerked his head Rachel and Puck's way and asked quietly, "Are they-you know? Cause she was kind of staring at your tall goofy step-brother all night."

"And Puck was staring at HER, if you didn't notice," Kurt hissed. "Puckleberry Finn has made a MESS of things since Sectionals. Don't even get me started."

"Can you two old ladies stop gossiping, please?" Rachel asked evenly.

"Seriously though, I'm curious too," Mike offered from the driver's seat. He spared a quick glance Tina's way and said, "Honey?"

"Yeah…but this might not be the best time to talk about it," Tina shrugged, giving Rachel a consolatory smile over her shoulder. "I mean, Puck just spontaneously combusted back there. That was some freaky ass Sunnydale shit."

"Oh my God, don't say the S-word. I won't stop freaking out about _Restless_ for the next like, five hours," Blaine tried to lightly interject.

"But how did you do it, Rae?" Tina wondered, ignoring Blaine's attempt to divert the conversation. "How did you get him to stop burning like that?"

"I don't know," Rachel said softly. "I just knew I could. It's weird."

"Brave," Kurt offered.

"Really, really brave," Blaine nodded.

"You could have totally hurt yourself," Mike said softly, with a measure of worry.

Rachel suddenly felt warmth emanating from Puck's body, sliding off of him in waves, hitting her as if she had just opened a door to a broiling hot oven. She squeezed his hand and he heard her breathy whisper, "_Calm down. I didn't get hurt, and I won't now. Calm down_."

"You could've," Puck said quietly.

"Could've what?" Kurt wondered curiously.

"_It's okay. It's going to be okay. You can control this. Just think of turning it off like a faucet,"_ Rachel kept urging Puck.

"It's fire, Rachel. Not a damn water faucet," Puck shook his head.

The other four people were staring curiously at the pair in the back. Rachel was silent. Looking at Puck intently, and Puck was talking…getting louder by the moment. Blaine felt the heat coming from two rows back in the van and nervously looked to Mike, whispering, "Stop the van."

"_Calm down. You can't hurt us. You'll protect us. Calm down. Breathe deeply._"

"Rae?" Tina questioned warily, as even she began to feel the heat rising off of Puck again. She squeaked nervously when Puck suddenly rose from his seat, rushing towards the side door and pushing himself out, Rachel hot on his heels. Tina clamored out of the truck after them and the remaining boys in the car were quick to follow. They stopped short, standing in a semi-circle as Puck stood a few feet away from Rachel again, his hands engulfed in flames. Rachel wasn't talking, just staring at Puck intently as he tried to breathe as deeply and evenly as he could.

"_Let it go_."

Rachel's voice was beating in his head, her words were a command and he felt that he had to follow it, he lifted his hands towards the sky slowly and took one last deep breath before he felt a rapid fluttering of his heart, an intense heat in his palms. Tina shrieked in terror as the other boys jumped around her, Mike wrapping her up in his arms and shielding her face protectively. Rachel stood as close as possible to Puck as towers of orange flames shot out of each of his palms into the night sky for a few prolonged, agonizing and amazing seconds.

When it was over, and the darkness of night overtook them Puck looked at Rachel incredulously the ghost of a smile on his face. It didn't last, as Rachel blinked at him with her brown doe eyes, curious as to what had just transpired, looking lost before her blinks became prolonged and suddenly her feet gave way. She would have crumpled to the unforgiving ground had it not been for Puck reaching out to steady her with his still smokey hands.

"Rachel!" he called out, but she had already succumbed to unconsciousness, a dead weight in his arms. He lifted her carefully, not wanting to place his hands on bared skin, hoping that he wouldn't give her third degree burns as he walked steadily towards the car, where Kurt and Blaine were rushing to open the door and Mike and Tina were already hopping into the front of the van, ready to rush away.

"What WAS that?" Kurt demanded as Mike floored it, heading on the back road that would hopefully lead to the people he had been following not ten minutes earlier. "You were talking and Rachel wasn't and then you…shot flames from your hands into the sky, Puck. And now Rachel is….what WAS that?"

"I dunno," Puck shook his head. "Jesus Christ, I was-I did…FUCK. Is she going to be okay? Rachel…Rachel wake up…wake UP!"

"Was she-was she talking to you? Like…" Mike faltered at the ridiculousness of saying the thought out loud. But he had seen the way Rachel had been looking at Puck during his meltdown.

"Telepathically?" Tina offered, on the exact same page as her boyfriend.

"Rachel? Wake the fuck up, dammit!" Puck shouted angrily.

"Rach? Sweetums? You're late…you're going to miss the flight to Nationals!" Kurt called out anxiously.

"The Tony awards are in five minutes!" Blaine offered hopefully.

"It's your wedding night and Puck is waiting to deflower you?" Mike suggested. He should have known better. No matter how distracted Puck currently was…*SMACK*. "Ow dude."

"You're an ass sometimes," Tina accused, unsympathetic to the Puck handprint on the back of her boyfriend's head.

"If we could just get back to the school faster," Kurt said desperately. "Coach Bieste…she'd know what was going on. I mean, I think she would. She seems to know what's going on…"

"Yeah. She would," Blaine nodded. He looked out through the front window of the van, hoping to see taillights in the distance when he felt a strange fluttering in his chest as he vaguely concentrated on their destination.

And then…complete and utter chaos. He heard Tina screaming again, a ridiculously bright flash of white light that burned his retinas. It was blank. Nothing. Tina's scream echoed away and Blaine panicked. Was he dead? Where they all dead now? There was nothing. No air. No sound. No feeling. Just a white light.

And suddenly, Rachel's voice. _Think_. _Think of where we should be_.

The screeching of brakes.

The tinkling of violently shattered glass.

The van crashed violently and suddenly and Blaine couldn't help but grab onto Kurt's trembling hand as Puck covered Rachel's body to keep her from flying off of the seat as the truck that had been doing at least fifty miles an hour collided into something a hell of a lot bigger and more solid than a squirrel.

The van had crashed into the McKinley High School gym bleachers. Puck blinked slowly and he looked down, inspecting Rachel avidly for any sign of duress of damage. She was blinking her eyes slowly, but was still a long way from being okay. He cleared his suspiciously dry throat and grunted, "What happened?"

"I don't know…" Kurt whispered, looking at a fearfully wide-eyed Blaine. He followed his friend's line of vision and gasped at the shattered glass of the van's front window. Mike was slumped against the steering wheel and Tina…"Oh God, _TINA_!"

Mike picked his head up and his eyes widened in horror at the sight in front of him. Smashed wooden bleachers. A broken windshield. And in front of the demolished van, his girlfriend's small, pale hand sticking up at an awkward angle amongst the broken steel and wood of McKinley High's gym bleachers. He was out of the car in an instant, followed by Kurt. Puck got to his feet and hoisted Rachel up, taking her out of the van carefully as Blaine numbly followed.

Puck clutched Rachel's body to his and he looked down at her to see she was fully awake, although clearly groggy. She sniffled slightly and whispered. "I smell gas…"

Blaine looked to the van and sure enough, a puddle of gas was growing at an alarming rate beneath the van, pooling out and around it. In the next second he felt his heart jump into his throat as one spark from the van's engine seemed to fall from the crumpled van. Blaine barely registered what happened next, but suddenly Rachel was thrust into his arms and Puck took a step towards the horrifying situation that was unfolding mere feet from them and the boys in front of the van trying to get towards Tina.

_You can do this.  
_

Puck nodded, hearing Rachel's assurances in his head as time seemed to slow and the small sparks from the engine began to fall, looking very much like gorgeous, infinitely small fireworks. One spark hit the gasoline below the van and Puck could _feel_ the fire starting just a few feet away from him. He held out his hands in front of him as he steeled himself for the unknown. The fire bloomed quickly and greedily moved to the pool of gasoline that led to the tank in the van, dancing along the floor.

_Now_.

He felt a fluttering in his chest and a deep pull in the muscles of his forearms and the fire that had started under the van began to flow towards him at a ridiculous speed. He felt the warmth in his hands, and it traveled through his body, resting in the pit of his stomach, feeling very much like a few shots of vodka.

"Oh God," Kurt whispered as he watched Puck seemingly control and absorb the fire that threatened all of their very existences. He looked at Mike, who was staring down at the crevice Tina's body had fallen into. He shook his head and said, "We can't get to her…I'm calling an ambulance."

The fire roared behind him and Mike could only stare down at Tina in horror. She wasn't moving. Her body hung lifelessly under the bleachers, only her hand was immediately visible, and it looked…cold. He turned quickly and glanced at Puck, whose brow was furrowed in concentration as fire funneled _into_ his body through his hands. If Puck couldn't control the fire…there was no chance for Tina.

_Michael_. _Go._

He grasped Tina's hand. It was clammy and cold already and he tried not to sob out at the feel of it. He dropped to his knees and looked down at the crevice that Tina's hand had poked out of. With one small hiccup in his chest he was squeezing his body into the one foot wide crevice, bending in a way he never quite had before, desperate and needy to get to his girlfriend. To rescue her somehow.

Blaine felt Rachel trembling in his arms as he watched the young Asian boy who had been driving them around all night disappear below the bleachers. If he hadn't already been incredibly traumatized by the events of that night, he would never have believed his eyes. The lean and lanky dancer seemed to elongate even more, his body almost going liquid as he squeezed below the bleachers to help the trapped girl in any way he could. It was a surreal sight to be sure, but Blaine had never seen a human's body do that before. He felt the lovely meal he had eaten hours earlier at the Dalton Academy Winter Formal threaten to come back up violently.

_It's okay Blaine_. _Calm down…take a moment…_

"I just want to go back…I don't want to die here. I want to go home…"

"BLAINE, No!" Rachel gasped desperately, trying to squeeze her way out of his embrace before both of their fields of vision went to a blinding white.

"Sprinklers would be good right about now," Kurt whispered, looking between Puck battling the fire and Mike impossibly squeezing his body beneath the bleachers. As if on cue, water began to fall from the ceiling of McKinley High's gymnasium. He grimaced and wondered quietly, "And a million dollars?"

A half second later he shook his head and concentrated. "Okay…lights. I wouldn't hate it if the lights were on really bright."

The gymnasium was flooded with light and Kurt held his hand to his chest in victory. The roaring sound of the fire Puck was consuming died down with the aid of the sprinklers from above. Kurt looked down to get a better view of Mike and Tina.

"Kurt…help me get her down…she can't be dangling like this!" Mike's choked, sobbing voice froze Kurt to his very core. He grimaced as he gripped Tina's cold hand and pushed it downwards, freeing her from her precarious position and allowing Mike to hold her before warily placing her on the ground.

"She okay?" Puck asked as he rushed towards the bleachers that Kurt was perched on.

"Oh god!" Mike's anguished cry filtered up to them from beneath the bleachers. "Oh God, Tina…baby, breathe for me…TINA…TINA, come back….Breathe!"

Puck felt his stomach roll and he turned around, anxious to get a grip on Rachel before she could hear Mike's horrified grief at Tina's lifeless state. His eyes went to the place where he had left her with Blaine and his jaw dropped slightly. They had disappeared into thin air.

* * *

Thoughts? Theories?

I'm LOVING writing this. I hope you enjoy reading it as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Easiest story I've ever written so far. It's just pouring right out. I'm stopping myself from posting everything as soon as its written though, stockpiling at least a chapter ahead in case I ever get writers block on this.

Someone asked if I'm basing this off of Fantastic Four/X-men. You'll find a little of EVERY super hero tale in here, probably. The X-men have been my favorite thing in the world since 1992. For realios. And you know that the X-men are really just a gateway drug to more nerdy awesomeness. You'll see little references to everything I love about the supernatural fandoms peppered throughout.

Thanks as always for the fabulous response. This time for the chapter prelude, tell me whose voice you hear reading it. I go between Giles from _Buffy_ and Morgan Freeman, funny and witty Morgan Freeman, not God!Morgan Freeman.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter Three – "I Stop the World and Melt the Bleachers"_

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* * *

_

_Human beings are only meant to live one lifetime. At best, it could last a little over a century. At worst, it could end right when you're realizing that life is going to be truly amazing. A life snuffed out before a person can truly shine their brilliantly happy life is sad. But still, it is the way of the world. Cats have nine lives. And there has never been one particularly content and blissful cat on the face of the planet. Ghosts are always sad. Vampires are sullen and miserable creatures no matter how much they sparkle. And just think of how unhappy a zombie truly is._

_In 1620, a young man was born in the Plymouth colony of the New World. Miraculously he survived infancy, toddlerhood and made it to his eighteenth birthday unscathed and wholly alive. And after one winter solstice in 1638, he stayed exactly that way. Never to change. Never to join his friends in the hereafter. Never to leave._

_Human beings are truly only meant to live one lifetime. One can never predict what might happen to the human being who is bestowed two lifetimes._

* * *

"BLAINE!"

Rachel could barely get the name to fall from her lips as she struggled against the hold he had over her before she was stuck in that nothing. A pain shot from behind her eyes at the brightness and nothingness of it all, chilling her to the core. It was an awful place to be, she instantly decided. She felt herself suddenly being pulled in a million directions at once, her subconscious going to the first connection it had made earlier that night and she felt more than the nothingness. She felt Noah Puckerman's extreme panic and duress. He needed her, that was certainly true. Tina needed her. _Desperately_. She tried to blink herself out of the nothingness but couldn't will it away and she reached out desperately with the only means she had available to her.

_Blaine…please. Take us to where you want to go. Please!_

She felt a shuddering and crash of air overtook her as Blaine's feet landed on solid ground. He took deep gasping breaths and set her down on an elegant chaise lounge. Rachel looked around curiously and wondered,

"Are we back at Dalton?"

"Warbler's study," Blaine breathlessly nodded. He sat down next to Rachel and held his head in his hands. The reality of what they had already been through that night came crashing down on him and he tried desperately to catch his breath while holding back deep, guttural sobs that threatened to tear his insides apart.

"Did we just disapparate?" Rachel wondered softly. Blaine threw her an incredibly confused look and she shrugged helplessly, explaining, "Noah made a Hogwarts reference earlier…my mind wandered for a stray second."

"Glad to know your mind can wander right now. I'm kind of stuck on, OHMYGOD OHMYGOD THERE IS A MAN ON FIRE AND I JUST TELEPORTED US TO OUR DEATHS," Blaine deadpanned.

"Blaine…we have to go back," Rachel whispered. She felt her insides tugging impatiently. She was needed. She could tell. "We have to go back to McKinley."

"No way. There's no way," Blaine mumbled. "The whole place probably blew up by now. We're _safe_ here."

"I'm not. If I don't go back…if I can't keep them safe, I don't think **I** am safe," Rachel furrowed her brow in confusion. "I can feel it. I can tell."

"Kurt said you weren't actually crazy," Blaine revealed. "Why are you talking crazy?"

"I just know," Rachel shrugged. "We have to go back. Tina doesn't know-"

"Oh God…that poor girl," Blaine nearly whimpered. "She was just…hanging there, like a doll with her hand trapped in the cushions of a couch…just dangling…"

"BLAINE, please…we have to go back!" Rachel demanded.

"Rachel, Kurt probably hasn't gotten much of a chance to explain me…but I run. Not competitively. I don't like confrontation. I don't like danger. I don't like ME in danger. I run," Blaine said quietly, the shame evident in his voice. "I run until I can feel safe. It's not safe there. I can't—"

_YOU WILL._

Blaine looked at Rachel in amazement. Her lips hadn't moved. He was certain of it. But her strong and clear voice rang in his head as if she had just shouted into it with a megaphone.

_Take my hand. TAKE ME BACK._

_

* * *

_

"What do we do?" Kurt looked to Puck for answers. "How do we-"

"I don't know, Kurt!" Puck said testily, his eyes darting between the empty space that Blaine and Rachel had occupied minutes ago, to the crushed van behind them, to the small crevice in the bleachers where he could see Mike bent over Tina's lifeless body in howling, sobbing grief. He closed his eyes briefly and tried to hear Rachel's voice. She had been occupying his mind all night and now he couldn't hear her when he needed to hear her most. He felt his body overheating very suddenly and very quickly. Flames nipped at his fingertips as he felt the miserable disappearance of that calming presence that Rachel had been all night. The adrenaline from controlling the fire moments earlier pulsed through his veins and he felt a rapid loss of control as the flames on his fingertips grew stronger.

"PUCK!" Kurt shouted. He looked around desperately for Rachel, knowing that she could stop Puck from becoming a blazing inferno that would snuff out all of their lives momentarily.

"I can't help it!" Puck countered peevishly, letting out a harsh grunting sound as he clenched his teeth and aimed his hands away towards the high ceiling of the gym, releasing two violent towers of fire into the air. He tried to funnel it away from him and Kurt and the leaky gas tank of the van, feeling completely out of control and more dangerous than he ever had wanted to be before. He needed Rachel.

"I wish…" Kurt bit his lip, concentrating as hard as he could. "I wish there was an ambulance here right now."

…

Nothing.

"I wish there was a firetruck…"

…

"National Guard…"

….

"Million dollars?"

Kurt blinked back his tears forlornly at his failure and sniffled, "I wish my Dad were here."

Three things happened in very rapid succession at that very instant. The sprinklers stopped running. A violent gust of air blew around Puck and Kurt, causing them to close their eyes against the harshness of the wind. And the gym doors burst open and Burt Hummel ran in wildly.

"KURT!" he bellowed, relief washing over him at seeing Kurt in one piece.

"RACHEL!" Puck let the name fall from his lips with a measured amount of joy as he saw Blaine and Rachel back in the spot they had been standing in previously.

"TINA!" Rachel shouted, bounding towards Puck and Kurt and staring down at the mangled metal. She cringed and looked to Puck with a desperate plea in her hauntingly large brown eyes. She had felt his immediate calm at her presence and felt some of her energy sapping towards him as he controlled the heat coursing through his body.

_Melt it_.

"This is some grade-A, freaky ass shit right here," Santana gasped as she rushed into the gym with the other Gleeks and Coach Bieste surveying the surreal scene.

Puck stared down at his hands and felt them warming up instantaneously. He took a measured breath and did his best to control the feeling that was becoming ridiculously familiar in the span of a few hours. He felt the flutter of his heart beat, the tense burning in the muscles of his arms, and the pleasant warmth in the palms of his hands. He bent over, placing his palms on the metal that trapped Mike and Tina.

_You're okay. You're doing a fantastic job, Noah. Just bend it back now…_

Puck complied to Rachel's orders in his head, pulling back the pliant steel that he had melted with the heat from his hands. Once the hole was Rachel sized she carefully bent over it and squeezed her eyes shut from the sight of Tina's broken body.

_Michael. Please help me down._

Mike let out a strangled cry as he looked up and saw that Rachel wanted to come down. Not even realizing his own actions, the long, lean lines of his body grew longer and leaner, reaching his hands up higher than would have been humanly possible until they settled around Rachel's waist. He lowered her down the ten foot drop, too overcome with grief and worry to even realize the impossibility of his most recent actions.

Puck gaped at the top of the bleachers at what he had just witnessed. He felt the rest of the Glee Club plus Coach and Mr. Hummel arrive at his side, surveying the scene. Mercedes broke down into sobs at the sight of Tina, and Artie could only wince painfully from the bottom of the bleachers at her reaction. He didn't need to see it. He had already had the distinct non-pleasure half an hour ago.

They could only watch as Mike dropped to his knees again, draping himself over Tina's lifeless, bloodied and bruised body once more. Rachel's eyes drifted shut and her face tilted ever so slightly upward.

_Tina. Come back. Come back now. We need you. We'll need you so badly. If what Artie has seen is true, we can't do it without you. Don't be afraid. There isn't anywhere else for you to go. Come back._

Puck watched Rachel nervously as she began to sway on her feet, looking ready to collapse at any minute again. He knelt again at the steel, his hands automatically heating up to the point that they were engulfed in flames and he started to make the hole bigger. He ignored the sudden gasp from the other observers, intent only on making sure that Rachel didn't _kill_ herself with whatever mind voodoo she had willingly just entered into. He needed her to stick around so that he didn't burn Lima to the ground. He melted enough of the steel to make the hole big enough for even Finn to get through and was about to jump down the ten feet and break an ankle or two in order to be down there to catch her when she inevitably fell.

He felt a hand grip his shoulder however and looked up to see Sam Evans with a determined look on his face. Before Puck could do anything, Sam had jumped through the warped metal of the bleachers head first. Even after all the events of that evening, he couldn't help his eyes widening in shock as Sam practically floated down to the trio underneath the massive bleachers. Puck finally took stock of the whole situation down there, not just Rachel's psychic trance or whatever the hell it was.

Tina was _glowing_.

It was beautiful. Her skin shone with an iridescent pink light that would have probably humiliated the Goth girl if she had been either conscious or _alive_. Puck's eyes narrowed as he squinted down at the girl he was SURE was dead moments before. There were lines along her body where blood had been seeping out of her body moments before, literally sewing themselves shut, leaving ugly red lines behind as scars. Her chest, which had been concave due to the broken ribs and collapsed lungs puffed up with air suddenly, heaving sudden breaths. Her skull, which had looked as if it were cracked mended itself before their very eyes. Even her unnaturally bent wrist righted itself with a surprising quickness.

"Honey?" Mike whispered as Tina's chest rose and fell with incredibly uneven breaths. He spared one quick glance up at Rachel as she collapsed into Sam's waiting arms, completely unconscious again.

"OH GOD!" Tina gasped suddenly, her voice hoarse and haggard, like a low-pitched scraping of nails on a chalk board. "That fucking _sucked_."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions? Requests?

In general reply to some of the reviews…Rachel's powers are very much a mystery in the story just now. Everyone else has a very clear power that you can see directly. It's tangible. Rachel's is much more complex and in my opinion all that much more important to everyone and it will take some time to see everything she is and can do.

And as a treat for making it through another chapter, I will post the next chapters titles at the end. (I'm seriously most proud of these titles.)

_Chapter Four – "Fly Like Sam Evans…Into the Future._"

Also note. If I had mad photoshop skills, I'd totally make a banner, with Puck's hand aflame all hot and sexy like. Once all the abilities are revealed, I totally will pay real money and/or delicious baked treats for someone to make me a kick-ass banner. ;)


	4. Chapter 4

Seriously. I couldn't stop writing this if I tried. Thanks for the love. And a Happy Christmas Eve to all! I hope Santa brings you something nice. He'll probably be bringing another chapter of this insanity seeing as writing this is so much more important than me opening mounds of presents. Someone asked what song lyrics were used for this chapter title. It's Steve Miller's "Fly Like an Eagle". Classic Rock, for the win. And every time I type out a chapter title, I automatically sing it in my head to the tune of the original song. Repeatedly. So that it gets stuck there.

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 4 – "Fly Like Sam Evans…Into the Future"

* * *

_

_Man has always felt the need to conquer his Earthly domain. Land. Sea. Air. So, in a quest to conquer everything in their sight, they figured out how to walk upright. Built contraptions to tame the sea. But the very last Earthly domain was a definite conundrum. Humans could run like a wild gazelle, climb like the most agile of monkeys, swim up stream like a virile salmon. But one look at the tiniest of pigeons soaring through the air on spread wings and they knew they had failed._

_All the modern fairy tale stories that parents entertain their children with today are somehow based in fact. There really was a Red Riding Hood…Tooth Fairy…Santa Claus. Even Superman has his roots in reality. Because there was once a man who could fly without the aid of constructed wings. He was not an alien crash landed in Kansas. He did not have a cape. Certainly not a lycra/spandex bodysuit. The first man to soar with the birds freely was a simple farmer in Plymouth, Massachusetts._

_And now another young man had been granted the same gracious gift. But even as this new young man bends gravity to his will around his body another new realm of the Earthly domain was reawakened, just waiting to be explored. That of its very future._

* * *

Sam secured Rachel's body tightly in his hands before concentrating very hard on something he wasn't quite so sure of at the moment. He knew he needed to get up to the rest of his friends at the top of the bleachers. He heard a faint, weak whispering in his head.

_Go up, Sam_.

He did just that, trying not to focus on the rest of his peers incredulous looks as his feet lifted off the ground he had been solidly standing on one second ago. He went deliberately slow, although he could feel an itching in his veins to shoot off like a rocket into the air. The sudden power he felt over gravity itself was a heady feeling. He tossed his head slightly to get his golden locks out of his eyes and he errantly and arrogantly wondered if he looked just like a panel of a wickedly awesome Stan Lee comic book at that moment. His mind instantly conjured a swelling orchestra hitting an apex of a moving score as he drifted up into the air with a damsel in distress in his grip.

He reached the top and wasn't surprised when Puck greedily grabbed Rachel out of his arms. Instead, Sam continued to _float_ until he was hovering next to Quinn, who was staring at him in wide-eyed astonishment. He shrugged as he settled his feet back onto solid ground, ignoring the way his body literally _ached_ to be back in the air again.

"What was that?" Quinn whispered, her breathy voice barely audible as she took one cautious step back, hoping to provide a protective space between her and whatever mutant disease her relatively new beloved had obviously contracted. She spared one quick dart of her eyes to Finn, wondering if his skin had turned green and he had started to smash things yet, because clearly all the men in her life were rapidly turning into a huge pile of rejected X-men.

"I…I freaking FLEW," Sam grinned. "Watch…look at what I can do…"

"Sam, don't!" Quinn warned to no avail. She could only bite her lip in anxious worry as he rose on his tip toes suddenly, hovering in the air. He tried to wrap an arm around her to give her a quick spin around the gymnasium ceiling but she easily evaded his grasp and simply watched him as he darted with serious speed to the ceiling. He let out a whoop of joy as he sped back down.

"Cool, right?" Sam chuckled.

"I-, there are no words," Quinn shrugged helplessly. She tore her eyes away from Sam and looked to the bleachers that Tina was gently being pulled from. Her brow furrowed as Mike's arms seemed to stretch on forever, placing his girlfriend in Finn's capable grasp.

Mike's face became incredibly interesting at that point on, as he placed his hands gingerly in Kurt's outstretched grasp. His nose crinkled in slight discomfort and his eyebrows scrunched together as if he were trying to conjugate Spanish verbs in Schue's class. He let out one discontented, "Mmpph" sound as his feet, which had been on the ground ten feet below his head, slowly made their way to put his body back in its starting size and shape.

"Hey fly boy!" Tina squawked out, her vocal chords obviously still a tiny bit crushed from her previously damaged windpipe. "Thanks for coming back to help me and Mike down there."

"Sorry?" Sam offered sheepishly. "I got overexcited. You know. Because I can do this…"

Quinn rolled her eyes as Sam took a quicker zip around the gym ceiling before landing roughly back next to her. She quirked an eyebrow and asked sarcastically, "You done now? Or do you want us to sew you a cape?"

"That'd be pretty sweet," Sam barely whispered. Quinn shoved his shoulder authoritatively and he cleared his throat, obviously trying to end his geeky display of enthusiasm at his newly found _freaking superpower_. He turned to see Puck whispering desperately to an unconscious Rachel. "She okay? I mean…I could go and fly and get an ambulance. Or a helicopter…"

"She'll be fine," Coach Bieste interjected. She looked Tina over with scrutiny and wondered, "How are you feeling, Tina?"

"Like a huge fucking shit pile, thanks Coach," Tina irately shot back. She cautiously put her arms in the air and stretched her body timidly, cursing and emitting squeaking sounds as a few displaced bones snapped back into place. "Ouch, motherfucking fucker….hey, sweetie?"

"Yes, Honey?" Mike asked eagerly, still mopping the grief-laced tears from his face as he sent a beaming, compliant smile Tina's way.

"You're never driving again. Puck's right. Asian drivers do suck," Tina jibbed playfully. She walked stiffly over to where Puck was whispering into the unconscious Rachel's ear and asked softly, "She okay?"

"Dunno," Puck said miserably. "I think she did too much…whatever it is she does. It's enough for one night. She can't handle much more."

"She saved me. I was in this horrible nothingness," Tina whispered to him. "Trapped. I wasn't dead. And I couldn't go anywhere, and I really think that I would have NEVER gone anywhere until she sort of…jumpstarted me?"

"That seems right," Mike nodded, standing next to his lady love, gripping her hand. He looked down in awe as a tickling feeling hit his palm. Tiny scratches on the palm of Tina's hand were healing themselves. It was bizarre to feel her skin moving together and closing. "She sort of, was in my head and suddenly I knew what I could do. I knew that I…"

A look of realization stole over his face and he remained silent, in awe of the serious side-show act that his body had just become. Santana rolled her eyes and laughed, "You were fucking, GUMBY, Chang. It was seriously sick, and I may have to re-evaluate your tongue skills after seeing that display."

"Back off bitch," Tina growled back at the obnoxious cheerleader.

"Oh hell, I know this isn't going to be a good thing. Gothy McGotherson can heal herself. Now she's going to think I won't kick her smart-mouthed little ass," Santana somehow managed a slight smile Tina's way, tempering her testy words with a tiny sliver of humanity. The cheerleader shrugged and wondered skeptically, "How did you guys get ahead of us, anyway? And into the gym?"

Silence extended between the teenagers and one by one they looked between Burt Hummel and Coach Bieste for an answer to the question. Finally, Blaine shuffled his feet slightly and cleared his throat. He slowly raised a hand, as if he were asking for permission to answer the question.

"I sort of…made it happen?" he said softly, the timidity in his voice feeling alien to his ears. He hadn't heard it since he entered Dalton Academy. The stares he was receiving from Kurt's friends screamed a demand for more information so he slowly tried to explain. "I think that, when I think really hard about a place I want to be…I can go there. Or, first I go to this space, and then I sort of stick there. And Rachel reminds me to go where I have to go."

"She's like our sparkplug. Or our engine starter," Kurt whispered. He looked to Coach Bieste and demanded, "Is that her _thing_? Like a catalyst?"

"Sort of," Bieste admitted reluctantly. "If history proves true, it's more complicated than that."

"Sparkplug," Puck whispered into Rachel's ear. She had been pretty unresponsive ever since he had grabbed her out of Sam's arms. He sat on a piece of unscathed bleachers with her cradled like a baby in his arms. His mouth was inches away from her ear and he was desperate to find that connection they had formed earlier. Last year, her voice made him want to start himself on fire. And now, her voice in his head was the only thing he knew would _keep_ him from being on fire. His interest in her well-being at that point was _purely_ a self-preserving interest. Totally.

He felt her breath hitch slightly and her body flinch and then relax in his arms, as if she had just received a shock in whatever dreamy depths she had fallen into. He took his first relaxed breath since seeing her sway and fall underneath the bleachers. A smile almost graced his lips as he leaned in again and whispered, "Sparkplug."

"Noah?" she whispered warily, her eyes fluttering behind her closed eyelids. She regained some measure of consciousness and was no longer comatose in his grasp. Her body reacted to his hold over her and she seemingly melted into him, her arm weakly raising until her hand rested on his chest. "Still sleepy."

"Okay," Noah nodded dumbly. He looked to Tina and Mike who nodded, being able to communicate without telepathy.

"Rachel's done for the night," Mike said resolutely. "It's bed time for her. No more catalyzing or sparking anything."

"I couldn't agree more," Coach Bieste agreed. "It's time to take you all to the dorms."

"Dorms?" Mercedes demanded. "Uhm, time to get me HOME. So that my mom can make me hot cocoa and convince me this was all some really, really bad dream."

All of the other Glee club members agreed, Mercedes' words seemed to conjure their own images of home sweet home, and Blaine looked immensely relieved at the sentiment. Puck was the only one to tense at the idea. If Rachel went home, then he would be alone. Alone in a house that was basically a huge box of tinder with his very flammable mother and baby sister. Hell no.

"Your parents already know. This is the only way," Coach vaguely explained. She saw the unimpressed looks of mutiny beamed at her and resolutely insisted, "This has been planned for decades. You're all at risk now. You'll be sleeping in the dorms this evening and every other evening after that."

"This is totally unfair!" Quinn practically shrieked. "I want to GO HOME. I don't _want_ Sparky over there to jump start me into freak-dom. I want to leave, and I don't EVER want to come back at this point."

"No arguments, Miss Fabray!" Bieste barked out at her. She looked to Puck and said, "Listen to me, Puckerman. You and Rachel are bunking in the same room. NO FUNNY BUSINESS."

"Uhm, Coach? I'm not really comfortable with that," Finn interjected with a measure of discomfort.

"Shove it, Hudson," Puck grumbled.

"You're not comfortable with that, Hudson…okay…well, are you comfortable with Puckerman going up in flames and taking all of Lima with him?" Bieste demanded.

"Finn, son, if Puck isn't controlled, believe me, he could take out all of Lima," Burt Hummel explained with a measure of sheepishness. "This isn't saying anything personally about you Puck, but, he's the most dangerous of all of you kids right now. And Rachel is the only one who can keep him from turning the whole school into a fireball."

"Chicks dig dangerous," Puck smirked slightly, eliciting a small sleepy giggle from Rachel. He felt her shiver suddenly and furrowed his brow. He was a walking talking furnace and she was shivering. She blinked and sent her gaze Artie's way.

"This is SO not happening!" Quinn fumed.

"I beg to differ, Quinn," Artie interjected finally. Brittany was by his side in an instant and quirked a curious eyebrow at him. He shut his eyes tightly and Brittany gripped his hand as his body jerked violently in his chair. His voice came out in a deep, low grumble, sounding more like a Decepticon than Artie Abrams. "_Periculosus est in suus via…apparatus…mox…_"

Brittany nodded and turned Artie around, placing herself protectively in front of him as she looked to the front doors of the gym. She couldn't help but feel suddenly lonely in her fighting stance and turned to hurtle a confused look at her friends. She didn't understand why they were still standing there.

_You have to tell them what you know, Brittany_.

"OH. Rachel's right," Brittany nodded eagerly. "If we don't like, do something in the next few minutes we're all going to be crushed to death by a giant machine."

Silence extended once again as everyone gaped at Brittany in disbelief. She smiled back at them and said,

"So, you know. It's time to be awesome and stuff."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

After writing and reading this and my horrendous attempts at editing, I have to add a disclaimer. I LOVE all the characters of Glee. Every single one. Except maybe Jacob. If anyone seems particularly douchey in this chapter or any after that, never fear. I love all Glee characters _nearly_ equally. I try my best not to bash them via fic. So never fear about that.

Also, people have been asking for a list. I'm wary to do it, as some of the revealed powers aren't quite _completely_ revealed, but here goes. So far: Puck=Firedude. Kurt=gettingsomestufftohappendude. Blaine=teleportationdude. Mike=Bendydude. Sam=Flyboydude. Tina=healsherselfdudette. Rachel=Sparkplugdudette. Artie=. Brittany=.

Next up? Crazy crazy action, babies. _A_nd two more gleeks reveal what they can do. _Chapter Five – "There Go My Gleek Heroes, Watch Them as They Go."_


	5. Chapter 5

Happy Christmas, everyone! I hope everyone got exactly what they wanted. Alas, no Mark Salling under the tree. Fucking Santa.

Okey. Moving right along. Here is Chapter Five. The lyric is taken and mended from the Foo Fighters "My Hero". I've been hearing an overabundance of Foo Fighters on the radio station in the past few days. All of their songs always make me think of kick ass action sequences in my head.

A quick note that I should have mentioned before. Chapter One of this story takes place sometime between _Special Education_ and the Christmas episode. It's not Christmas in McKinley yet in this universe. So yeah, that's where all the characters are story-line wise.

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter Five – "There Go My Gleek Heroes, Watch Them as They Go"_

_

* * *

_

_Fire cannot exist without a surprising amount of things. Oxygen. Heat. Fuel. All three combining to create a chain reaction resulting in fire. In the case of the young Colonial American, he had an abundance of heat and fuel the moment he gazed upon that crimson moon during the winter solstice. The flames resided in his body, simply waiting for a breath of metaphorical oxygen. _

_Fate is a cruel mistress. But she is also an irresponsibly ironic mistress. Fate enjoys a delightfully sinful parallel. Fire cannot exist without oxygen. And yet, a young man in Plymouth, 372 years ago blazed when his metaphorical oxygen was snuffed out of this existence and brutally shoved into the next. His grief scorched a destructive path that the world has not seen since. _

_And the world shuddered at the thought of having to see such a sight again._

* * *

Puck swallowed nervously as he felt Rachel stirring in his arms. She was actually trying to get out of his embrace and head towards the front lines that were reluctantly forming. Mike and Tina stood next to Brittany, shielding a helpless Artie protectively. Sam joined them, taking a look to Quinn nervously. He bit his bottom lip before questioning,

"Coach? Is it possible for everyone who hasn't been jumpstarted to like…head to those dorms now?"

"Hell no!" Santana scoffed. "I'm not leaving my team to get skewered by giant robots…hold on, Britt-britt? Are you sure that Artie said giant robots?"

"Uh huh. A mean one, not fluffy like Bumblebee," Brittany assured Santana. "You can definitely help San. I saw you earlier."

"Coach? Mr. Hummel?" Mercedes questioned anxiously. "Should me, Quinn and Kurt go somewhere?"

"Giant robots, Brittany?" Burt questioned. The exuberantly nonchalant blonde could only bob her head in the cheerful affirmative. Burt looked at Bieste curiously and said, "What the hell is going on?"

"I thought she went down to headquarters…I thought they'd detain her there," Bieste sighed. "These kids are in for a training session from hell and there's apparently nothing you or I can do about it."

"They're not ready…Rachel couldn't do more tonight," Burt insisted.

"Mr. Hummel, please. I'm not ready for an understudy yet," Rachel mumbled weakly as she feebly stood up from Puck's lap, smiling back at the boy thankfully when he supported her as she could barely keep her body upright. "I can help if we're in danger."

"You're BATSHIT!" Puck hissed at her.

"Don't talk to her that way!" Finn scolded with a low and grumbling anger echoing in his voice.

"Shut it, Hudson!" Puck countered. He glared Rachel's way and said, "I've seen her pass out twice tonight. She can't do much more or else her brain'll short circuit. And then I'm gonna explode Ohio. I need her brain!"

"Yeah, it's always about what you NEED, Puck," Finn shot back bitterly.

"BOYS! Shut UP!" Rachel hissed. The effort she had put forth in her vitriol and anger was almost too much and she swayed on her feet. Puck steadied her and shook his head in frustration.

"Hell no, Sparky," Puck grumbled. He gestured for Mercedes and Quinn and ordered, "Get over here and act as human shields. You guys can get crushed by the robots before her so that I don't become an atomic bomb or some shit."

"Nice, asshole," Quinn rolled her eyes, but moved towards Rachel anyway, getting further away from the group of Glee club members who had taken ridiculous fighting stances in front of Artie sounded like a great idea. She and Mercedes each took one of Rachel's arms gingerly, holding her up as she scowled Puck's way.

"Noah Puckerman!" Rachel squeaked angrily.

"SHUT YOUR PIEHOLE!" Puck bellowed. "I'll handle the giant robots of doom and then we can all calm the fuck down and get some shut eye in our hopefully PIMPED OUT motherfucking dorm rooms."

"_Speculum campester," _Artie grumbled in that creepy voice that seemed too low for him as his body gave a quick shake.

"Artie says we have flat screens!" Brittany told Puck happily as he stood in front of the rest of the combat ready Gleeks.

"Guys, don't get hurt, and stand back. Rachel doesn't need to waste her shit on you right now. I got this," Puck assured them taking a deep breath and staring at the door with furious intent, his hands balled into hot, smoking fists at the side of his body.

Tina rolled her eyes at the machismo spiraling off of him just as much as the sudden furnace like heat. A sudden booming crashing sound shook the entire gymnasium however and any smart reply Tina had prepared to throw back Puck's way died in her throat as she looked to the side doors of the gymnasium where the monstrous creaking noise had come from. The booming sounds started to come faster and louder, and soon every one of the Gleek's, including Puck, had a look of horrified disbelief on their face at the sheer magnitude of the noise coming from their approaching attackers.

"Oh shit," Puck breathed out right before the gym's wall collapsed as if it were made of the Jenga blocks that he and his sister had been gifted on the second night of Hannukah. He gulped for a few prolonged seconds as his bravado and foolish blind bravery dissipated when he set his sights on a large pile of metal, standing fifteen feet in the air, with crude metal stumps for legs and dangerous looking CANONS for arms.

"Double shit sundae," Mike added as he crinkled his brow in a constipated look of terror.

"FUCK ME," Tina hissed.

"Fuck me sideways until Sunday," Santana muttered.

"If it weren't evil, I'd want it for a pet," Brittany declared quickly. "I'd name it Stubbs. It would be awesome."

"Cover your asses, ladies. I'm going in," Puck reclaimed his idiocy quickly and with a war cry, he ran forward, his fists suddenly spewing fire at the machine that seemed to want to threaten their very existence.

"IDIOT!" Rachel screeched at him, adrenaline fueling her once more. She cringed as Puck swung forward with an arching line of fire, swiping out at the machine who simply absorbed the heat with its heavy alloy coating. It didn't deter the mohawked teenager, he simply kept the fire coming, until one of the canon arms of the robot monstrosity rose and aimed directly at him.

Puck's eyes widened in a ridiculously cartoon gesture and he stood still in front of the machine, clearly out of his depths at that point.

_SAM, GET HIM OUT OF THERE!_

Sam literally flew, his graceful swooshing through the air twenty times speedier than the robotic arm straining to lift and aim at Puck's face. Rachel swayed on her feet and Mercedes and Quinn both gripped an arm as Rachel watched the scene with wide open eyes, darting back and forth, practically moving the chess pieces on the board with her ocular movements.

Sam dropped Puck suddenly, allowing him to land directly on his behind, standing square in the path of the leaked gasoline from the van engine. He realized that it was intentional when the robotic arm began to spew fire from an overly large blow torch, sending it directly towards the dangerous fuel source that was the van. Puck put up his hands instinctively, without even needing to hear Rachel's shouted orders in his brain.

_Take care of what you can, Noah. Kurt and Blaine will get the van out of here._

Five seconds later, Puck was absorbing the fire that the robot was spewing at them, while Kurt and Blaine immediately went into action, jumping into the crumpled van. Kurt went behind the wheel and began muttering under his breath with a fevered desperation.

"Please let me move you. Please let me get this thing free. PLEASE START!"

With a flick of his wrist, the van started and Kurt threw the gear in reverse. He looked to Blaine, whose eyes were closed, ready and waiting for Rachel's orders. Inches before Kurt could back into and over Puck, a rushing roar of wind blew through the auditorium and in the blink of an eye, the van had disappeared with the boys in it.

_Santana…the gasoline_.

"What do you expect me to do about it Treasure Trail?" Santana shrieked back at Rachel.

_Don't be an idiot, Santana. _

"Fine!" Santana huffed. She walked over to the gasoline and stared at it curiously. She cocked her head slightly to the side and looked back at Rachel peevishly. "It won't move!"

"It's not water San!" Brittany called out patiently. "Rachel wants you to slush it off with the water!"

"Well then she should have said, _Santana, would you please move this gasoline WITH water_," Santana hotly disputed. "Vagueness is NO ONE'S friend, Berry."

"LOPEZ! MOVE YOUR SHIT!" Puck roared as he felt himself being pushed further and further backwards by the jet of fire coming from the robotic arm aimed directly at him.

Another gust of wind and Blaine and Kurt were standing directly behind Rachel. Kurt squeezed her shoulder anxiously and she nodded. Kurt looked up to the sprinklers and muttered quietly and repeatedly.

"I need the sprinklers…I need the sprinklers…and a million dollars. Or maybe just the sprinklers…"

The sprinklers obeyed and soon the water was coming down in a fine mist. Santana rolled her eyes and glared at Kurt, "You couldn't conjure me up something more than a light drizzle, _Porcelain_?"

"Make it work Boobs McGee!" Quinn shouted angrily. She suddenly felt useless as she watched her friends in front of her. Even Rachel, barely supported by both her and Mercedes was doing loads more than her. Puck's entire body was glowing red as a torch of flame went from the robot straight into his outstretched hands, pushing him backwards ever so slowly. Soon he was standing back to back with Santana, who was squinting her eyes in extreme annoyance as she watched the light rain the sprinklers were bringing down.

_SANTANA! Do it NOW!_

"ALL RIGHT ALL RIGHT! SHUT THE HELL UP!" Santana yelled Rachel's way before bringing up her left hand in front of her. She bit her lip and concentrated and in the blink of an eye, a one foot wall of water was in front of her. She took a deep breath and the wall elongated so that it stretched ten feet across the auditorium floor. Her chest was heaving at that point as she struggled to remember to _breathe_ as she manipulated the water in front of her.

"LOPEZ, is that shit gone yet?" Puck growled behind her.

Santana started spewing incredibly fast paced Spanish profanities and she pushed back against Puck as she forced her hand forward with as much power as she could muster. The small wall of water that had gathered in front of her surged forward, picking up the leaked gasoline with it and moving like an oily ocean wave rapidly towards the bleachers. Kurt watched as Santana's water wall sloughed all the gasoline underneath the bleachers and out of sight. He looked towards, the monstrosity of a robot, hoping desperately that it was stupid enough to follow the old adage _out of sight, out of mind_.

His thorough internal critiquing of the plan was immediately cut short when he heard Puck let out a huge growl. The canon-arm that was spewing fire was slowly moving, as if it were suddenly trying to aim above Puck's head…directly into the stands where Rachel stood behind him with Mercedes, Quinn and Blaine.

"Fuck no, you god-damned bucket of bolts," Puck grumbled, feeling something twist in his head he stopped trying to think and react. Rachel's words weren't guiding him any longer. _Rachel_ was guiding him. He couldn't explain how it was working, but he could tell it was working. A surge of energy went through him and the fire he had been funneling into his body suddenly pushed back out with more power than Puck thought possible. He was no longer being pushed backwards into Santana, he was taking slow steady steps towards the machine that threatened all their lives at that point.

He felt his confidence gaining with each measured step and when he was just a few feet away from the offensive machine, he felt a large push inside of him, then nothing. Completely gone. He turned his head slightly and spared a glance back at Rachel and saw that she had fallen to her knees on top of the bleachers. He panicked and repeated the actions that Rachel had forced moments earlier, pushing the fire out of his body in an incredibly powerful burst, it went straight back to the blow torch on the machine's arm, causing the whole thing to explode with a spectacularly loud crunching sound.

"Suck it, you piece of shit Terminator," Puck hissed, before turning on his heel and rushing back to the bleachers. He stared down at Rachel as Mercedes and Quinn tried to help her to stand. "Sit down, Sparky…we're done here."

"No, we aren't," Rachel shook her head as the whizzing sound of the machine raising its other arm echoed throughout the gym.

Puck turned warily and stared at what hell was about to be unleashed upon them now. The machine's left canon raised into the air slowly, and it wasn't a blow torch this time. It looked very much like a gun.

No sooner than the realization of what was being aimed their way occurred to Puck, the gun began spewing bullets their way. He turned and tried his best to shield Rachel, but she was gripping Quinn's forearms in an iron-clad hold, staring into Quinn's frightened green eyes.

_Protect us_.

Puck suddenly felt a lovely vibrating wave of low pitched sound hit him as Quinn's skin immediately exuded a beautiful, bright blue light. The brilliant light enveloped them on the bleachers, encasing them in a warm, soft sparkling blue bubble. Puck took a deep breath as Rachel slumped forward, letting go of Quinn completely. He wrapped her arm around his shoulder and supported her as she stood on weak and feeble feet. The bullets that had been shot at them lodged in the protective bubble Quinn had made, harmlessly sticking to the twinkling blue light.

"I want in there!" Santana howled indignantly from the outside as the rest of the Gleeks anticipated the bullets to head their way next. "I get crappy water, like I'm the freaking Little Mermaid and Quinn gets to NEVER GET HURT! BULL SHIT!"

"Rach! Artie says that I need to get behind Stubbs!" Brittany called out anxiously. "I need to figure out how to shut him off."

_Tina? Please?_

"Oh fine," Tina grumbled, rolling her eyes as she pouted. She took off at a fast run, before Mike could grab her hand and secure her. She darted into the path of the bullets without an ounce of fear, drawing the fire as she ran fiercely, providing a moving, un-killable target.

_Fly her back there, Sam. Carefully_.

Sam nodded at the worldless commands going through his brain and grabbed Brittany by the waist before taking off to bring her around to the other side of the machine. Mike watched as his friends easily risked their lives and looked back at Rachel eagerly, waiting for instruction. He smiled when he finally felt that sudden invasion in his brain that meant Rachel wanted to start giving orders.

_Bounce, Michael_.

"BOUNCE?" Mike called out. "_Seriously_? That's what I get to do? BOUNCE?"

His argument was cut off when he heard Tina squeal as one of the bullets finally managed to graze her leg. She faltered in her running and was a sitting duck to be riddled with bullets. Mike stopped arguing, stopped thinking, and let Rachel completely take over. He folded his body in half and felt that uncomfortable jello feeling take over as he compacted himself into a human sized ball. He began to bounce in an effort to take the heat off of Tina, confusing and distracting the horrible machine that was about to go down.

Brittany hovered in the air from behind as Sam gripped her wrist. She bit her lip at the sight of the locked control panel that was housing all of the machines hardware. She brought her hand out and entered in ten different codes in the span of five seconds, her fingers moving like lightening as she mumbled numbers under her breath. She shook her head and called out, "Rachel! Get Kurt to do it!"

Kurt nodded before Rachel could command him and began mumbling variations of the same plea under his breath. Let Brittany unlock that thing. Give her access. Let her kick its ass.

"Stubbs, you are being a very, very bad boy!" Brittany called out as she watched the lights blinking on the back of the machine quickly. She nodded once it was through with a specific sequence of at least twenty digits before bringing out her hand and repeating it perfectly. The panel popped open and Brittany clapped in amusement at the wires and circuitry that had been revealed. "I'm going to re-wire you so that you stop being so naughty. Then you can be my pet. And I'll get you fun stickers to put all over you. Won't that be nice?"

Her final question was punctuated with her hand reaching in and ripping out a handful of wires, causing a spark to bite at both her and Sam's faces. There was an awful, crunching, draining sound as the power to the machine cut off, leaving it completely useless and dead. Brittany started doing a victory dance, while still in Sam's capable, flying hands as he flew them quickly back to the other Gleeks.

He dropped her next to Artie and flew towards Quinn, surprised when he couldn't quite get through the sparkling blue light that orbed around her and their friends. He raised a brow and asked, "Uhm, Quinn? I think you're safe now."

Slowly the orb decreased in size until finally it absorbed right back into Quinn's skin. The bullets that had been stopped by the shield dropped the floor with a clatter. Sam walked the rest of the way to her and wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders. He smiled and offered, "I would totally make you a cape. I mean, if you wanted one."

"Okay, those dorms sound really good right now," Quinn said softly. "As long as they are far, far away from crazy giant robots."

"Spoken like a true champion, Quinn!"

Twelve pairs of eyes darted towards "Stubbs" by the broken wall of the gymnasium. Rachel would have probably looked too, but she was currently fully unconscious and barely breathing in a worried Puck's arms. Slow clapping began from outside and slowly came into the gymnasium, accompanied with a barely interested sneer and steely blue eyes.

Sue Sylvester gave a quick shrug of her shoulders and said, "You did a mediocre job at your first training session. If you harbor any illusions that the next one will be so easy, you're all IDIOTS."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions? What's your dream superpower?

Thanks again for the amazingly, lovely response. You guys=Best readers ever.

_Chapter Six – "Forever Enlightened Here Somehow, Yeah."_


	6. Chapter 6

Happy Boxing Day! And happy we finally get snow in my neck of the woods day. Seriously, the entirety of the country gets snow for Christmas and I had to wait until the day after. Boo meteorologists.

Thanks as always for the amazing response. I never expected to see people take to this so well, so it was a really awesome Christmas surprise that people like it and are willing to let me know. It's the nicest and most lovely gift you could give me, save for Mark Salling or Darren Criss to play with.

Chapter Title is taken from Kelly Clarkson's _My Life Would Suck Without You_ lyric. Heh.

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 6 – "Forever Enlightened Here Somehow, Yeah"_

_

* * *

Every parent/guardian/mentor has a very important choice to make before entering into a parenting/guarding/mentoring type of relationship. It is a decision that will effect the shape of a person's character. It will change the way that particular person changes the world. It is an agonizing decision for every parent/guardian/mentor to make._

_Good cop? Bad cop?_

_This decision works out evenly when there are two parents/guardians/mentors involved of course. It all comes down to a simple matter of deciding who gets to play whom. _

_Lord help the children who get parents/guardians/mentors who want to play bad cop, badder cop, and baddest cop._

* * *

"Coach Sylvester?" Quinn furrowed her brow, her voice soft and low.

Puck and Finn shared a quick look with each other before quickly turning their glance Sam's way. They all knew what that voice meant from Quinn. It _sounded_ sweet and lovely. It MEANT you were going to die a slow and torturous death. They looked back to Coach Sylvester, wondering if she knew what was about to happen to her.

"Quinn Fabray," Sue said with a huge amount of indifference. She shrugged and said, "I thought we were saying each other's names to one another. Did you want something else, Q?"

Tina hobbled her way over with Mike's help so that they could stand by the other Gleek's to face Sylvester. Mike winced when he heard multiple bullets clatter on the ground after having fallen from their original resting place in Tina's legs. She muttered expletives under her breath, the only way she had in dealing with the pain and accepted the hand squeeze that Mike gave her readily. Once she felt semi-normal again, she and Mike both joined their teammates in glaring at Sue Sylvester.

"Did. You. Do. This?" Quinn breathed.

Puck's eyes widened at Quinn's accusation and he gripped Rachel tighter to him instinctively. He sent a questioning glare Sylvester's way and couldn't help but feel his blood _boiling_ at her smirk.

"Who else in this podunk town has access to killer robots, Q? Really, get with the program here," Sue scoffed. "I'm in charge of you, the entire band of broken misfit toys. I had to assess where your skills lie…and…Puckerman, put the girl down before you light her on fire."

Finn quickly took Rachel from Puck's grasp because the mohawked teenager's body was simmering, flames bursting out violently at random points on his body. He took determined steps towards Sylvester, each step he became more engulfed in flames until he resembled a ball of fire slowly rolling towards Sue Sylvester, who only lifted one eyebrow in apprehension.

"Someone control the matchstick," Sue ordered.

"Uhm, she can't cause she's _unconscious_," Mercedes relayed impatiently.

"Wanna know why?" Puck growled. "You forced us into this, whatever training thing you're calling it. You sent a robot to kill us, and you nearly killed her!"

"Okay. I'm going to have to ask you to stop burning now," Sue rolled her eyes. "It would be to your own detriment to set me on fire. Believe me, people have tried in the past."

Puck growled and the ball of fire engulfing him grew larger. Mike and Tina looked at each other worriedly, fully expecting Puck to go supernova on all them in the next few seconds. Tina bit her lip and said, "If I could get close enough without melting…"

"Puck, calm the hell down!" Quinn shouted. "Killing us all isn't going to make Rachel magically better. It's only going to make us ALL, including Rachel DEAD!"

Puck was beyond hearing her, the roar of the fire crackling in his ears drowned out all of their voices. Rachel's voice was gone. It wasn't in his head telling him to cool his shit at that very moment and that scared the bejesus out of him. She had overexerted herself into a freaking coma-like state and the blame lay solely with the McKinley High cheerleading coach.

"Quinn, come on, get me over to Puck," Tina hissed, stopping the girl from screaming more warnings that Puck simply couldn't hear at that point.

Quinn bit her lip as Tina grabbed her hand. She concentrated as hard as she could, finding the energy it took to create a small bubble of protection was massive without Rachel in her head telling her what to do. She and Tina were barely covered by a blue shield of light as they slowly walked towards the flaming mini-Sun that was currently Noah Puckerman.

"A little closer," Tina urged.

They were just a few feet away when the strength of Puck's fire made the blue protective light around them crack and burst. Tina took a deep breath and steeled herself to any pain as she brought her right leg to stand slightly behind her before whipping it up with an amazing amount of force, it broke the already shattered shield protecting her as the shield clung to Quinn's skin. Tina bit her lip as the flame lapped at her skin, but refused to stop until her heavy black military boot connected with the side of Puck's head with a resolute thwacking sound.

The fire died immediately as Puck lost consciousness, dropping to the ground like a puppet whose strings had been cut. Sue rolled her eyes at the boy, immediately forgetting the intense danger her life had just been in milliseconds before. She threw a nod Tina's way and said, "I like the way you work, Asian."

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, bitchfucker, ow!" Tina winced as she gingerly hopped on one foot. The skin which had suffered immediate second degree burns at the exposure to the fire that had previously been Noah Puckerman began to boil and peel off instantaneously. And she kicked and shook the leg, until she heard a bone snap back into place. "I think his hard ass head broke my fucking ankle!"

"Sue, are you done, or would you like to incapacitate any of the other kids now?" Bieste's voice suddenly bloomed in the gym, as she and Burt came out from one of the supply closets they had used to hide in and observe during the battle. "What did you do to Puckerman?"

"Hey, I didn't knock the kid out with my stunning good looks. The cannibals have turned on each other," Sue insisted, gesturing towards Tina accusingly.

"Dad, is Rachel going to be okay?" Kurt wondered, looking down at the girl the was lifelessly draped in Finn's arms.

"Let's get downstairs where it's safe," Coach Bieste answered for him.

"We're in the gym. There is no downstairs," Santana insisted in a bored tone as she checked her nails.

"Becky! Hit the red button!" Sue called out towards the press box.

"Right away Coach!" Becky's distant voice called out.

Mechanical whirring filled the otherwise quiet and empty gym, and the teenagers looked around curiously, all of their gazes finally landing on the McKinley High Titans Crest that was painted in the middle of the basketball court. Slowly, a long strip of the wood began to move revealing a large staircase leading down into the unknown. Sue muttered something about staying behind and cleaning up the mess the brats had made, so Coach Bieste led the way, walking down the steps and into the darkness.

Brittany was next, excitedly muttering about flat screens as she pushed Artie down. Mercedes opened her mouth to protest, but Artie put a hand up to stop her and gave her a sage, knowing nod, before both he and Brittany disappeared down the steps. Mercedes followed quickly, in case Brittany needed help with Artie's chair and was shocked when she took her first step onto a large moving glass platform, easily large enough to accommodate a few of her fellow Gleeks plus Artie's chair as it quickly slid down at least two stories until stopping and letting her step off on the floor. It then whizzed back up to the top, the entire journey taking a little less than two seconds.

Mercedes turned in circles, her eyes large with disbelief as she tried to take in her surroundings. They were in a lobby like room, all stainless steel and transparent glass. It was large and along the walls were at least twenty futuristic looking sliding steel doors, all unlabeled. She tried to memorize every single thing about this amazing room that had been under McKinley's gym floors the entire time. She couldn't wait to tell her brother about this when he returned from college on winter break.

To their credit, each Gleek that came down the moving _stair_ had a similar reaction to hers, staring around in incredulous disbelief. All of them except Puck and Rachel, who were both unconscious, Puck supported between Mike and Blaine while Rachel was still dangling limply in Finn's arms. Bieste motioned for them to follow her, bringing Puck and Rachel to one of the sliding doors. She grabbed Puck's hand and placed it on the steel, the door took two seconds to process before sliding open.

"FLAT SCREENS!" Brittany clapped her hands as she wandered into the room, following Bieste and those that carried the unconscious teenagers. Finn deposited Rachel into what he deemed the more girly option for a bed after recognizing a stuffed lamb sitting on top of it that had once been a part of her Lady Gaga outfit. He took a look around at the room and couldn't help but be a little glad that it wasn't as shiny and sterile as the outer lobby. The painted yellow walls were cheerful and bright, the furniture looked like it had come straight out of both Puck's and Rachel's house. There were even framed pictures all over the place of Puck's mom and sister and Rachel's dads. It was like a little home away from home.

Mike and Blaine walked towards the other bed and eased Puck into it. Mike took a look at Coach Bieste and wondered, "Is it safe? I mean…is the bed flame retardant?"

"Rachel shouldn't really be in here alone…what if he wakes up and freaks out and starts the room on fire?" Tina questioned.

"I could stay with them, if I have to," Quinn offered. "If Rachel needed like…a bubble to keep from melting."

"Please, I can control water. I'll just stay and dump a bucket of water on him every time he wakes up," Santana laughed.

"No one needs to stay. They'll both be out," Coach Bieste explained. She walked to one of the desks and picked up the only book that was placed upon it. She smiled and tossed it Brittany's way saying, "Take a look at this Miss Pierce. See if you can explain this to your teammates."

Mercedes snickered and received a death glare from BOTH Artie and Santana. Brittany happily opened the book and looked through it quickly, as if scanning for the pictures. She laughed and said, "Some of this is really funny."

Bieste could only widen her eyes in surprise before saying, "Do you understand what you're looking at?"

"Sure, I mean, I have to think about it a little, but I get it," Brittany nodded. She smiled at her teammates and explained, "Puck and Rachel are linked now. He was the first one she jumpstarted tonight. It happened that way all the time. Or before."

"I think I need a translator for the translator," Sam whispered to Quinn, who shushed him and slapped at his arm.

"So Rachel's totally wiped out, and she's all safe and stuff relaxing until she gets her energy back," Brittany nodded. "She'll keep Puck with her because she totally doesn't want him to hurt us. Or Coach Sylvester."

"How?" Kurt furrowed his brow.

"I don't know, because that's something she can do," Brittany shrugged. She understood everything perfectly from the book full of complexly coded words. She couldn't fathom why the rest of them couldn't follow along. She smiled at Rachel and brought the book over to the girl's bed, sitting down on it and showing a picture to the comatose girl. "Look it, Rachel. That was the girl that was you all that time ago. She's pretty."

"Britt-britt, baby, you have to explain this to us like…we're dumb," Santana pleaded.

"Pretend we're in kindergarten, and then we'll understand," Artie asked nicely.

"Okay, way back before George Washington," Brittany bit her lip and tried to think of the best way to explain it. "He was our first president, guys."

"Huh," Finn nodded, like it was completely new information to him. A few of the Gleek's rolled their eyes in response, fully _knowing_ that this was entirely new information for him.

"There were a bunch of kids just like us who were like, going to grandmother's house. You know, over _the river and through the woods_," Brittany sang. "Nine of them. Eight boys and one girl. Which sounds like one of those movies we found in your cousin's basement, Santana."

Santana shrugged in acknowledgement before Brittany began speaking again.

"So, they were like, doing stuff people in the past did and they saw that the moon was on fire, JUST like we did tonight," Brittany grinned. "And then the girl…who is like PAST Rachel, but not really, I'm pretty sure-hold on."

Brittany consulted her book again, flipping through ten odd pages very rapidly while her eyes darted back and forth far too quickly. She nodded in confirmation with herself. "Okay, they're related. Like, this lady from way back was like, her real mom's great-great-great-great-great-great-"

"We get it, Brit," Artie said gently.

"Grandmother," Brittany finished. "And she saw the moon and then looked at her husband…"

"HUSBAND?" Finn questioned.

"Duh, if they didn't get married by sixteen, how were they supposed to start having babies at seventeen?" Brittany rolled her eyes at Finn's curiosity.

"It's normal for past generations to marry so early, Finn," Artie explained. "People tended to die a lot earlier too."

"Right, so she turns to her husband, who is Puck's great-great-great-great-great-great-"

"Brittany, we get it," Mike chuckled.

"next door neighbor, huh. That's not nearly as interesting as I thought it would be," Brittany pouted, pointing to a page in the book that seemingly proved what she just said. "and it was like…what happened to us tonight but with really old clothes!" Brittany explained with far too much excitement. "Her husband started on fire! Past-Puck!"

"And she made him stop, but then she got tired and the husband got scared, because he thought she would lose the baby cause she fell," Brittany was rapidly switching pages now, still reading between at least ten different ones as she told the old story to the captivated audience. "And so he was like Puck tonight…all GRRRR, FIRE!"

Some of the girls giggled at Brittany's face and exclamation, so she took it upon herself to stop reading and make silly faces at them for exactly thirty seconds before Artie cleared his throat and got her back on track. "Oh, right. And then the other seven had to figure out how they weren't going to BURN to death. And even though Rachel's great-great-great-great-great…"

"Brittany, enough, call her past Rachel," Kurt insisted.

"Past-Rachel was unconscious, but she was like…using her MIND guys, just like real-Rachel did tonight," Brittany read. "And she told them what to do to save themselves. She told one man to use water to protect themselves, so he did. And another man flew away from the fire. And then another man got burned, but he totally made himself better right away, just like Tina. You know? I bet he was Tina's great-great-great…"

"Brittany, its' okay, we can find out later," Tina insisted with a smile, stopping Brittany from leafing through the book so that she could find confirmation about Tina's heritage.

"Okay," Brittany nodded.

"What happened to all of them? Did they die right away from the fire?" Quinn wondered.

"Oh, no. They didn't die right away," Brittany shook her head. "They wouldn't have been able to get this awesome book written if they died right away. Past-Rachel made one of the guys be able to like, control stuff around him. Like the animals. So the horse knocked out the past-Puck. And then past-Rachel and past-Puck were asleep together for three whole days."

"Three whole days?" Kurt questioned.

"Yup. So they're okay, they'll wake up in three whole days," Brittany shrugged. "It's in the genetics...or next-door-neighbor-etics."

"So they'll be fine?" Tina worried.

"Why would they put it in the book if it wasn't true?" Brittany pointed out a particular passage to Tina and giggled when Tina furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Brittany, how can you read this?" Tina demanded, glaring at the pages full of random numbers and letters, none of which made sense.

"I just can," Brittany shrugged.

"Just like she suddenly speaks Latin," Sam wagered.

"So Brittany understands _everything_?" Quinn gaped, closing her mouth when she received warning looks from both Santana and Artie.

"Okay kids. Enough for tonight," Bieste announced. She smiled as Mercedes went to gently cover both Rachel and Puck, tucking them in securely. "Let's go to your rooms now…let these two have their peace and quiet so they can recover, and we can all start training properly."

"I hope they're out the whole three days," Brittany smiled. "I want to start working on Stubbs."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

If you HAD to have an exposition fairy...it _should_ be Brittany, because she is too hilarious for words. So, this either cleared some stuff up for people or completely confused them even more. You'll notice that the whole crew has discovered their THING except for Mercedes and Finn. Puck=Fire, Rachel=Mindstuff, Kurt=Controllingstuff, Mike=bending himself, Tina=not dying ever and healing herself, Sam=flying, Quinn=protectingstuff, Blaine=teleporting stuff, Santana=waterstuff, Artie=seeing the future stuff, Brittany=understanding EVERYTHING THAT EVER WAS. ;)

Chapter 7 – "All I Do is Dream of Puck the Whole Night Through"

(Don't we all?)


	7. Chapter 7

Happy Monday everyone!

The chapter title is taken from a song covered by Michael Buble, "All I do is dream of you, the whole night through". the logical replacement for YOU, is of course PUCK.

I've taken the words tinted from the story summary. I can't help but do a Puckleberry story, no matter how hard I try to keep things a little slower for them. Puck is a pretty fast mover. I mean, he was the first one to kiss his nursery school teacher after all. It's definitely more of Puckleberry hue. My apologies to the non-Puckleberries that may be reading. I hope you don't vomit in your mouths, cause that's gross and slightly dangerous. Promise to vomit in your mouths only if someone is around to dial 911 for you.

Also, I have a tumblr now. I don't know how to do ANYTHING on it yet. But I figured all the cool kids had them, and I wanted to be able to thank awesome people for posting awesome things. Same username there as on LJ and here. Cassprincess

Okay, seriously, those who wanted the Puckleberry, enjoy!

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 7 – "All I Do is Dream of Puck the Whole Night Through"_

_

* * *

_

_Dreams are built for one. Fantasies can only hold one person's desires. Only one person can settle into the pages of a book. Even movies are better served as a solo experience. _

_But there is a place where two people can be stuck, not in the physical world, and not in the hereafter, but somewhere in between. They can share that space and depending on the company, it can last for mere moments or for an eternity, no matter what amount of time has passed in the physical world._

_With the correct combination of people, three days can stretch into a lifetime._

* * *

He felt his eyes blink open, and his mind expected him to feel the rage he had moments before. He expected to see Sue Sylvester's nonchalant attitude at being burnt to a crisp. He expected to see the fiery, wavy lines of heat in front of his eyes. Instead, he saw a pair of the most fantastically brown eyes on the face of the planet aimed directly at his own. He stayed silent for countless moments. Seemed like at least an hour or two of just staring up at the pair of large, brown, Bambi eyes that were full of concern for him.

"Are we dead?" he wondered finally.

"No, I don't believe so," Rachel shook her head as he rose up on his elbows, his face now mere inches from hers as she knelt next to him. She bit her lip in concentration before revealing, "I can still hear what's going on. Did you really think that lighting Sue Sylvester on fire would make me happy?"

"The lady…and I use that term roughly, is a bitch,' Puck shrugged.

"Noah," Rachel rolled her eyes. "I hope you know that you didn't burn yourself out into unconsciousness…Tina did it."

"Huh?" Puck frowned.

"She kicked you in the head, rendering you unconscious. And you're going to stay that way here, with me, until I'm able to wake up," Rachel said seriously.

"Chang is going to rag my ass forever that his chick knocked me out for days!" Puck whined. He shifted restlessly and stared around him curiously at the room they were now in. It reminded him of her bedroom, all light yellow walls and comfy beds and Rachel Berry. He threw a smirk her way and wondered, "Wanna make out?"

"Noooooah," Rachel rolled her eyes as she prolonged his name into multiple syllables.

"Yeah, that's how you'll be saying my name…" Puck grinned leisurely.

"You're a first class moron," Rachel insisted, although a small, indulgent smile lit up her face.

"I guess," Puck shrugged. He looked around at their surroundings again and asked, "Where exactly are we?"

"Metaphorically or physically?" Rachel wondered.

"Uhm, how about you just explain it so I can understand it?" Puck shrugged.

"Physically, we are in our dorm room below the gym at McKinley," Rachel explained. "I've tapped into Mercedes right now, and I'm getting the whole visual experience. She's quite descriptive in her mind."

"You can tap into us when you're unconscious?"

"I can do a lot of things, apparently," Rachel couldn't help a grin bloom on her face. "I am a multi-talented future Tony award winner, after all."

"Hey, those Tony awards don't have anything to do with modesty, do they?" Puck wondered with a slow smirk spreading across his lips.

"Nope," Rachel grinned.

"Then you have that shit all locked up," Puck laughed. He looked around the room curiously and said, "Nice digs."

"I think that whoever is in charge of these things did an excellent job of decorating," Rachel nodded, her eyes lingering over a picture of her fathers beaming back at her. She sighed sadly and Puck was about to ask her why when she looked to the door and said, "Oh, they're talking."

"Huh?" Puck wondered, looking around at the empty, still room.

"The rest of the team, they're discussing our current state," Rachel explained. "That's _lovely_, even Quinn and Santana are concerned about our well being."

"Pfft. You're crazy-cakes, Sparkplug," Puck scoffed. "We're alone here."

"Yes, here. On this plane of existence," Rachel nodded. She looked around and smiled at the friends she could clearly see in her mind. "They're in the other. The real one."

"Do I look awesome there? Like…I just fought in an epic battle and now I'm all wounded and heroic?" Puck wondered arrogantly, immediately believing Rachel's explanations. She had no reason to lie to him after all.

"You look thoroughly exhausted after your heroically fought battle," Rachel assured him. "Your handsome brow is dabbled in sweat and scorch marks, and the damage that Tina did to the side of your face will eventually fade. It's not even that swelled."

"Handsome…that's right. You think I'm hot," Puck grinned wickedly.

"You're a blazing inferno," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Hold on? Tina caused _swelling_? To my PERFECT face?" Puck demanded. He scrunched his nose and muttered, "I knew Mike was pulling my leg when he told me it was racist to assume all Asians knew kung-fu."

"Shhhh…I'm trying to listen to Brittany. She's figuring a few things out for me," Rachel put a hand to Puck's mouth, her finger pushing against his lips.

"Bwittany is twying to what now?" Puck persisted in talking anyway. Suddenly he felt a sharp, insistent tug on his insides, not of the unpleasant variety, but rather feeling very much like being turned on very quickly and his mind blinked. He heard Brittany rambling on and on about past-Rachel and his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grand next door neighbor.

"Wow," Rachel whispered as Brittany finished and the rest of their team filtered out of the room, allowing them to their peace and quiet. She studied Puck's face, wondering if he was as astonished and freaked as she was at the information Brittany had relayed about her ancestors and his…ancestral neighbors. "So?"

"Did you just MIND rape me?" Puck demanded.

"EXCUSE ME, I did _nothing_ of the sort!" Rachel disputed hotly. "I thought you would want to be kept up to speed about everything that was occurring…"

"It felt good, but still. I feel all _wounded_ and _violated_," Puck tried to appear as vulnerable as possible as Rachel glared at him. "Just tell me that you'll make it up to me, Sparkplug…"

"You're insufferable," Rachel accused. "Also moronic to the point that I want to suffocate myself."

"That'd suck. I think if you died, then I would probably become an atomic bomb, or something," Puck wagered. "So you're going to live forever. And next time you do that to my brain, you're going to buy me dinner first."

"Idiot," Rachel hissed under her breath.

"So do we have to get married now?" Puck furrowed his brow in confusion. "Because really, if we have to get married, then I think you should seriously consider the whole making out offer I made. And I'm definitely setting up shop in Boob-town if I have to marry you. Permanent citizenship."

"Noah," Rachel rolled her eyes for what seemed like the fiftieth time in a very short span of time. "We don't have to follow in the _exact_ footsteps of our ancestors or predecessors. It just so happens that I was _touching_ you at the time of the celestial phenomena earlier tonight. It should only stand to reason-"

"Nah, not buying it. I was meant to be fire guy," Puck insisted, maneuvering around in the big and comfy bed so that he was sitting right next to her, thigh to thigh. He leaned his forearm against hers and said, "See that? Even in another level of existence or whatever, I'm smoking hot."

"I suppose out of all of my fellow Glee Club Members, you are best suited to be the man to represent fire," Rachel allowed. "In that you are incredibly volatile and uncontrollable."

"You were doing a pretty good job of controlling me," Puck shrugged. He let silence extend between them for an impossibly long amount of time. Somehow he found his arm reaching up and behind her, placing his hand on her opposite shoulder, pulling her close he smirked, "And I'm not talking about the fire. You're like the only chick to get me monogamous for more than an eighteen hour time period."

"Five whole days, you must have been ready to shrivel up and die," Rachel giggled despite herself.

"Nah, I was okay," Puck shrugged. Silence grew again as they sat there comfortable, his arm slung over her shoulder in a seemingly nonchalant manner. "So…what are we going to do for three whole days here?"

"We're _not_ making out," Rachel insisted strongly.

"Well fuck, then I have no other ideas," Puck shrugged. "Did you know that I could probably suffer major brain trauma from not touching hot girl parts in the next three days?"

* * *

"Hey Sue!"

Sue Sylvester stopped dead in her tracks, an irrational ire and contempt boiling in her gut. It was far too early in the day to be feeling so very angry. She may very well have to vomit her protein shake if she kept feeling that roiling, percolating in her gut. She wrinkled her nose as Will Schuester finally caught up with her in the crowded halls of McKinley. He threw her a wary smile before she nodded slightly, acknowledging that he should speak. She didn't dare try to actually tell him this verbally, because if she opened her mouth, vomit would spew like a fountain at his face.

"I haven't seen any of my Glee kids here today. Not one of them," Schue furrowed his brow in worry. "I'm really kind of worried."

"You bore me, William," Sue managed to spit out without dry heaving all over Schuester's ridiculously cheap shoes. She turned on her heal and started to leisurely make her escape.

"Sue! Eleven of my kids are checked out of school today," Will called out after her. "We have two months until Regionals…did you have something to do with this?"

"Why yes, William," Sue scoffed. "I've kidnapped them via brute force and am currently cooking up what sort of live ammunition I will be lobbing at them when they all have been released from their psychologically induced comas."

Will could only look at her as if she were truly insane, his mouth gaping open. Sue sneered at him and shrugged, "Maybe, just maybe they all got ridiculously sick from breathing in the fumes of the eight cans of Aqua Net that you meticulously apply to your Medusa-like coils of hair every morning."

Feeling a million times better, Sue again turned away from the ridiculous choir director, intent on checking in on her charges underneath the floors of McKinley's gymnasium.

* * *

"Hold the pose for one…two…three…and release…"

Puck grinned like an idiot as he followed Rachel Berry's movements carefully. He felt the heat constrict in his chest as she rolled on the floor, bending her legs this way and that, completely ignorant to the fact that he could barely copy her hardcore sexy yoga moves thanks to the tightness in his jeans. They'd followed a strict routine on this plane of existence or whatever it was that she called it. It had stretched out to a lot more than three days at that point.

After sitting on his bed and chatting for nearly a day, Rachel had insisted that their bodies were temples no matter if they were truly physically where they were or not and had started in on daily yoga, followed by vocal exercises for a few hours, followed by her teaching him the geometry he had steadfastly missed all year. This schedule had been followed strictly for the last ten days. Rachel wagered that the actual time that they had been in their protective bubble had seemed shorter to the outside crew, since they had only been visited twice so far by the Gleeks. Puck was surprisingly cool with this turn of events. It was like a mini-vacation in crazy Sparkplug town. Totally relaxing and there was some serious hotness watching Rachel do yoga every day.

And they filled the rest of their hours up with conversation, thumb wrestling and _serious_ flirting. Well, Puck called it flirting. Rachel probably thought it was charming conversation or some other such lame shit. They fell asleep talking, usually never even bothering to move to their separate beds, which bothered Puck not one bit.

Sure, he was attracted as hell to her. You can't watch a person's _ass_ do downward facing dog that many times and NOT be attracted to them. But if he was telling the truth, he did…kinda like her. And now, with the story of their great grand past being brought to the fore, all of the attention his mind had paid her in the last year and a half made total sense. And yeah, he didn't want to completely ruin his friendship with Finn, but apparently they had totally broken up if Santana's crowing and bragging where to be believed. No harm, no foul.

"Wasn't that refreshing, Noah? Are you ready to start our vocal warm-ups, or would you like to take a short break?" Rachel wondered.

"Why didn't you ever jumpstart Finn?" Puck demanded suddenly, throwing himself on his bed haphazardly.

Rachel furrowed her brow as she watched him lazily stretch out. They hadn't broached the topic of personal relationships in the last few days, after she had been so frustrated with his sexual innuendo that she had bashed his head with a pillow repeatedly. She hopped on the bed next to him, sitting Indian style next to his shoulders as she thought carefully about how to answer his question.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "Tactically, I didn't think of him when we were dealing with Sue's robot."

"What's he do?" Puck wondered.

Rachel blinked, she knew what Finn did, certainly, but she couldn't verbalize it. She sighed and said, "Will you please give me your consent to invade the personal space of your mind?"

"Do you have the proper forms for me to sign?" Puck joked.

"I just don't want to be accused of violating your brain again," Rachel sneered at him good-naturedly.

"Violate away, Sparkplug," Puck waggled his eyebrows at her.

She huffed dramatically, but delved into his mind regardless, finding that the more she did it, the easier it became. Puck found that the more she did it, the more ridiculously arousing it got, although he couldn't really explain why. He never did find brains arousing before. A laugh stole from his lips as he saw what Finn was eventually going to develop. Rachel broke the connection and Puck shrugged with a smirk in place.

"Fitting," he nodded.

"Right, there was just never a moment during our earlier foray into battle where I thought that I needed to bring Finn into the fold," Rachel said softly.

"Were you protecting him?" Puck wondered.

"I don't think so," Rachel shook her head. "That's a romantic notion, and I would love to be able to tell you that my truest intentions were to protect him from harm. But alas, they were simply forgetful negligence and extreme fatigue on my part."

"If we make out while we're in here, don't activate him before he finds out," Puck said seriously.

"We are NOT making out!" Rachel huffed angrily. "Do I have to violate your brain again to make you understand?"

* * *

"Hey Dad," Kurt smiled as he walked into the room housing Puck and Rachel. He smiled as his Dad continued to take the unconscious teen's vitals and mark them down in a little book that he had gruffly explained would be sent to headquarters.

"Hey, son. How are you holding up?" Burt wondered with a smile.

"Honest? Feeling kind of lost," Kurt shrugged. "I NEVER thought I'd see the day that I would consider Rachel Berry one of my closest friends. But considering the last few weeks, especially two nights ago…I feel lonely without her here."

"It's understandable," Burt nodded. "It was always you know, predicted, that Rachel would be pretty important to you. To all of you."

"Yeah, and you could have told anyone of us that two years ago or GOD, even two weeks ago and we would have DIED laughing at you," Kurt looked between Puck and Rachel thoughtfully. "Has Finn been by to visit them at all?"

"No, he's uh…he's kept his distance," Burt acknowledged. "He's been busy with the weight regimen that Coach Sue has the boys doing."

"Yeah, she had me run wind sprints this morning," Kurt shrugged. "Kind of makes a boy wish he was comatose so he could avoid the strenuous physical activity."

"Yeah, look at the smile on Puckerman's face," Burt gestured to the peaceful contented smile that had settled on Puck's lips twelve hours into his psychically induced coma. "He's having a really good nap right there."

"Dad? I'm really glad you're here with me," Kurt said suddenly. "I mean, I feel bad for the other kids, because they've only had letters from their parents. It means the world to me that you're here."

"Son, I'd move heaven and hell to be here for you. You know that. When you were born, and the community got in touch with me and your Mom...there was no question that I'd do anything to be here with you," Burt shrugged. "Besides, someone's got to balance out Coach Bieste and Coach Sylvester. Those ladies would run you all into the ground if I didn't keep them grounded."

The intercom system made a lovely dinging sound, which was immediately followed by Sue Sylvester barking, "Porcelain! I have eight new obstacle courses set up for you to run through, and Bieste has two books for you to read before lights out tonight. GET A MOVE ON!"

Kurt raised a brow at his dad and questioned warily, "Grounded, huh?"

* * *

Puck felt a tugging at his insides and he quickly sat up in bed, causing Rachel to stir right beside him. He could feel that it was all going to be over very soon and they would be right back to harsh reality again. Superpowers, Gigantic robots, unknown peril around every corner, Finn Hudson. He watched in fascination as she blinked her eyes slowly into wakefulness. She simply settled into his gaze and they stared at each other for a prolonged period of time.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hello," she whispered right back. "Is it time for yoga?"

"I think you know what time it is," he shrugged.

She pondered his words and realized what he was talking about. She felt the pull of her body and realized that they were going back in mere moments. She couldn't help the moment of panic that stole into her brain. It was there residing in him as well. They had built a safe little cocoon there. The days had blended together while they were waiting for Rachel's physical energy to restore. They had stopped counting after twenty.

"Were you doing it, or was I?" Puck questioned suddenly.

"Doing what?" Rachel shrugged.

"Making this time longer…three days on the outside and a month in here?" Puck wondered with a soft smile. "That's some serious mind voodoo, Sparky."

Rachel couldn't help but return his soft smile at the nickname he had bestowed upon her. It was certainly much easier on her ego than _Manhands_ and _Rupaul_. She pondered his thoughts, wondering which one of them indeed had managed to cram so much together time in this room. Puck would never ever be able to proclaim that they weren't friends. And she would never ever be able to call him a jerk again. A die-hard bond had been cast between the two, and Rachel couldn't help but hope that it would last when they were in the midst of the other Glee club members again.

It was as if they had been cast on a deserted island with an extremely comfortable bed. They had talked about literally everything in their lives. He knew what kind of cereal she used to eat when she was five and she knew that he had only watched PBS until he was in kindergarten. Gay dads, dead beat dads, disinterested moms, adopted daughters, trips to Juvie, lying Finn Hudsons…every topic had been broached.

"I want to tell you something before we wake up," Puck whispered, although he could feel that unidentifiable force tugging the both of them back into the real world.

"Okay," Rachel nodded slowly.

"I don't kinda like you," Puck whispered.

The walls around them disappeared and neither Rachel nor Puck could hold onto that plane of existence any longer. They felt very much like they were falling in a dream, even while lying on a bed. The moment they were going to hit the unseen ground is when their eyes snapped open simultaneously, now laying on beds that were separated by a few feet in their darkened room. Rachel took a gasping breath for air and looked over at Puck, whose expression had not changed throughout their shift back into reality.

"I really like you," Puck finished his thought, popping up to his feet as if he had not just been in a three day coma. Dammit, he was going to kiss the living daylights out of Rachel Berry before any of the suddenly insane lives could interrupt. He was owed one _serious_ make out session after behaving himself in their shared coma. He strode to her bed quickly, intent on acting on the feeling vomit that had just spewed out of his mouth when the sliding door to their room slid open with a whirring sound.

Metal legs clanked against the floor, causing Rachel's bed to shake under the vibrations. Puck's eyes widened as he recognized the whirring sound and the stubby robotic legs. Without thinking and more importantly without Rachel's mind telling him what to do or how to do it, his hands filled with flame and he shot it indiscriminately at the robot's offensive legs blocking their doorway.

"HEY! HEY! HEY!" Brittany cried out as angrily as she could muster. The fire stopped and she poked her head between the robots legs and said, "Stop trying to hurt Stubbs. He's a good guy now. APOLOGIZE!"

* * *

Thoughts, theories, questions?

This was a departure from previous chapters. The next chapter should be filled with more explanations of this whole dealio. Also, all the superpowers are finally revealed. ...I think. It's also the longest chapter so far. Look for it tomorrow evening, eastern US time. The title? I thought you'd never ask...

Chapter Eight – "Training Days are Here Again/Forget Your Troubles, C'mon get Sweaty"


	8. Chapter 8

I didn't edit this a lot, so please forgive any silly errors. Thanks again for the awesome response. Every little email I get about this seriously just adds more fuel to the fire. FirePuck...yum.

Longest. Chapter. Ever. So far. Cue Dumbledore (Dead Dumblydore, not angryDumblydore).

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 8 – "Training Days Are Here Again/Forget Your Troubles C'mon Get Sweaty"_

_

* * *

There are two surefire methods to use in life when you must obtain a particular something from another person. The particular something could be a service, an object, an emotion, or an unidentifiable something-or-other. _

_These methods are tried and true, and one of them always works. They are the Golden Tactics:_

_1. Trickery_

_2. Brute Force_

_Anything that was ever worth any value that was taken in the history of the world was taken through the use of one or both of these tactics. Tides have changed in many battles through the use of these tactics. The Native Americans would still wander freely over North America without these tactics. Bernadette Peters would not have a career, if it hadn't been for the liberal use of both of the Golden Tactics. The world is not quite yet ready to see two incredible masters teaming up and using the Golden Tactics in perfect harmony. _

* * *

"Hey Finn."

Finn furrowed his brow as his three point shot went way wide and he grumbled in annoyance. He looked back to the door to the underground gym he had spent most of the last three days in and conjured up a half smile Mercedes' way. She picked up the rebounded ball and threw it back to him with little effort. Finn smiled at her fully now and said,

"Nice pass."

"I have an older brother. Every summer his idea of babysitting was taking me to the park so he could shoot hoops. I got really good at throwing the ball back to him when he would miss every single shot," Mercedes shrugged. She watched as Finn took another shot, effortlessly sinking the three pointer. "Huh…you're so tall it's hard to imagine that you're a shooter. I thought you'd be more of a box them out under the basket kind of guy."

"Nah, that's _Puck_," Finn grumbled, taking another shot and missing that one. "He's always been that guy, you know. Had to be in the middle of the action."

"Yeah, the matchstick does seem like the type," Mercedes acknowledged.

"_Matchstick_," Finn grumbled. He took another shot and missed, but when Mercedes tossed the ball back to him, he angrily threw it to the other side of the gym. He let out a yelled shout and said, "I'm just so…angry right now. I don't understand any of this. I want to see my mom, but Burt says that she had to go to Massachusetts. We don't even KNOW anybody in Massachusetts. I'm pretty sure I couldn't even tell you where it was on a map. I just…I'm sick of not knowing anything."

"Coach Sylvester told me that we'd learn more when Rachel and Puck woke up," Mercedes said softly, taking slow, steady steps to approach her friend who was in a clear rage. "Mr. Hummel says they should be awake soon…"

"Knowing Puck they'll be asleep together forever," Finn grumbled. "He's really good at taking stuff, you know?"

"Finn, you broke Rachel's heart right before Sectionals, we were all witnesses, and then we all sort of _helped_," Mercedes reminded him. She reached up and put a consoling hand on her friend's shoulder. "Puck didn't take anything that you hadn't already given up."

"You're right. I just don't understand it," Finn shrugged. "I mean…why does he always have to want what I wanted?"

"You just have really good taste?" Mercedes ventured hopefully, unable to keep herself from smiling.

"Yeah," Finn laughed. He looked at her curiously and said, "So are you worried?"

"About Puck and Rachel waking up?" Mercedes wondered. "Yeah, a little. I mean, its been weird to see all of our friends develop their freak show abilities. I mean, I don't want to be rubber girl…Mike is seriously freaking me out when he reaches for something at the dinner table."

"Yeah, that's weird," Finn nodded in amused agreement. "It would be cool to be able to do something like Santana. I mean, she freezes my soda pop right before I can go to drink it. Then she thaws it so it splashes on my face. That's pretty mean…but funny."

"Mostly funny," Mercedes wagered, recalling the dozen or so times that Santana had managed to trick Finn into dumping his beverage all over his face. "I'm curious, you know. I mean, I'm sort of starting to understand that the powers are kind of already in us."

"Like Quinn is super protective of herself, especially her reputation?" Finn questioned.

"And Blaine like, always avoided awkward situations," Mercedes nodded, remembering a few conversations where Blaine had done fast talking to smooth over any rough edges.

"And Mike was already really bendy," Finn nodded. He grinned and looked down at Mercedes, "If I had to guess your super power, it'd probably be making people feel better."

"Thanks, Finn," Mercedes said shyly.

"GUYS! Rachel and Puck are awake! Meeting in the mess hall in five minutes!" Tina shouted as she ran by the gym door on her way to the mess hall.

Finn and Mercedes shared a nervous, though happy look and Finn reached down and enveloped Mercedes in a quick, fierce hug. He grinned at her and said, "So, here goes nothing."

The two sped out of the gym, both immensely happier than they had been minutes ago. Kurt took a deep breath and stepped out of the shadows near Coach Bieste's office, followed by a nervous looking Blaine. Kurt shrugged at his school mate and said, "I felt bad for eavesdropping, but I would have felt worse if I had interrupted their moment."

"I get it," Blaine nodded with a smile. "It seemed that they both needed that, you know. I think its been hard on them being the only ones without a _thing_."

"Yeah, Mercedes hides it well though. My step-brother on the other hand…"Kurt raised a perfectly manicured brow in embarrassed amusement.

"I saw him break a weight bench yesterday morning," Blaine acknowledged. "He kicked it like it was a naughty puppy."

"It's sort of his thing, that's not a _thing_," Kurt explained. "Once I kicked a chair in front of him so that he understood how pissed I was. It was like speaking Finn-ish."

Blaine laughed, a welcome feeling compared to the tenseness of the last few days. He placed a hand on the crook of Kurt's elbow as he recovered from the moment of levity. Kurt merely beamed back at him, feeling incredibly accomplished in getting the previously forlorn and depressed Blaine to indulge in laughter for a moment. Blaine finally stopped and sighed.

"We should join the others. Coach Bieste promised us more info when we were all conscious," Blaine said eagerly. Kurt began to walk and Blaine smiled and grabbed his hand, looking at Kurt with a raised, mischievous eyebrow. "I want to attempt something, here. Trust me?"

Kurt swallowed and took one small hitched breath before he managed a slight nod. He felt a rush of wind hit his face and an uncomfortable tug at his insides before a glimpse of white for a few prolonged seconds. It wasn't as horrible as the first few times. When they had transported in the van, it had seemed frightening and lonely. The whole skipping through time and space ordeal was made infinitely better by the hand that he clutched in his own.

_Honestly Blaine. I'm awake for no less than fifteen minutes, and you're up to mischief. Get to the mess hall now, please. You're holding up the briefing._

Blaine felt his feet land and Kurt let out a gasped breath as the wind whooshed around them, blowing Rachel's hair in her face as she glared up at Kurt and Blaine. She was sitting next to Puck, looking quite refreshed as he clutched her hand with a detached, dreamy smile on his face. Kurt barely managed an eyebrow lift at the girl, demanding more gossip until she cut them off by smiling at Blaine knowingly.

"You were just _waiting_ until I woke up to try something, weren't you?" Rachel accused.

"I feel a little safer now that the little anchor is awake, yes." Blaine freely admitted as he and Kurt finally detached hands when Burt cleared his throat and looked at the two of them suspiciously.

"We're here. Clearly the two most important guests to this party. Hey girlie," Mercedes smiled winningly at Rachel, who in turn returned it with a blush of her cheeks. "Welcome back. We really missed you."

Puck only gripped Rachel's hand tighter and more possessively when faced with a slightly pouty Finn Hudson. Rachel nodded and didn't try to disentangle her hand from Puck before saying seriously, "I would say that I missed you too, but really, I have to be honest. I didn't."

"Nice," Santana snickered. "I could totally dig mean girl Rachel. Puck, would you let me make out with her if we let you watch?"

"SANTANA LOPEZ! Your thoughts grow increasingly disturbing and uncouth with every passing moment!" Rachel scolded as her cheeks flamed scarlet. "I was going to say that I didn't _have _to miss any one of you. I felt a very intense connection to your thoughts and emotions. And Noah has NO control over who I make out with. And really, Santana, is there anyone you _won't_ make out with?"

"Coach Sylvester," Santana quickly replied.

"Good to know, Pamela Anderson-iguez," the woman in question scoffed as she breezed into the mess hall lazily, followed by Coach Bieste who was reading through a portfolio of printed reports. "Okay side-show rejects…I'm assuming that your questions have only multiplied and doubled since the matchstick and Ms. Streisand over there took a three day long nap…fire away…"

"Where are our parents?" Tina demanded.

"How long do we get to stay out of school?" Mike wondered hopefully.

"Are we going to get cool outfits?" Kurt breathily wondered. "I veto spandex in _any_ variety."

"How did you guys get my security blanket in my new room?" Sam asked.

"Are we getting paid for this?" Santana questioned hotly.

"I'm going to need a few things for Stubbs," Brittany revealed. She handed a list Burt's way and said, "Some of these things haven't been invented yet, so I'm going to need you to find the inventors so that I can tell them what I need them to make for me. I'd really like to get Stubbs to sing so that he can become a member of Glee."

"Safe. You go back tomorrow. No cool outfits unless you want to make yourselves t-shirts to wear around proclaiming, _come try and kill us why don't you_. Burt was in charge of canvassing the parents for the correct things to make your rooms more liveable, if it was up to me, I'd stick you all in a room with a bunch of hay for beds. You are NOT getting paid for this, you'll have to seek out your own endorsement deals. And Brittany, I love your enthusiasm and will move heaven and earth for you to be able to upgrade my pet robot," Sue rattled off.

"He's my pet robot," Brittany whispered possessively.

"Okay, are we done here? Let's hit the training room, I've got something to give you that kind of has an expiration date," Sue clapped her hands together, ignoring all the protests and yelling from the thirteen charges.

"Wait, why are we here? Who is funding all of this?" Quinn demanded. "Are we like, some government project or something?"

"The government has nothing to do with this, Q. And you'll be incredibly happy to know that we're taking great lengths and expense in order to keep it that way," Sue insisted. "If the government got their hands on you, you would be pimped out as superweapons in warfare…or dissected. Or both."

"Your parents are being protected as well," Bieste interjected. "They've known since you were born that this would be the path that you would take. They've prepared for this for a long time."

"That's why your mom was crying when we left for Dalton's dance," Tina accused Mike quietly.

"How did you know it would be us?" Rachel furrowed her brow. "Is it really about genetics?"

"For you, yes. Everyone here except Puck and Mercedes is distantly related to the original nine," Burt Hummel answered. "And to put it…as delicately as possible, Puck's family and Mercedes family were originally, uhm, _servants_ to some of the original nine."

"Holy shit, my great great great grandpeople were slaves?" Puck breathed. He looked to Brittany curiously and demanded, "I thought that you said they were neighbors."

"The _s_ word is a mean word. Neighbors is better," Brittany pouted. "Besides, they DID live right next to each other."

"It became clear a few years ago that Puck would be the person that would be taking on fire," Bieste interrupted. "We didn't know how closely your set of people would parallel…"

"Well they aren't married," Finn grumbled.

"Quit your bitching, Hudson," Puck rolled his eyes.

"I'm getting really bored with all of these words," Sue shouted in melodramatic annoyance. "Really, we should be heading to the training room. You're all only shooting yourselves in your collective freak feet with the more time you waste."

"What, are you going to try and kill us again?" Quinn hissed.

"Your accusations of me trying to murder you all are grossly overblown. I could have snuffed you out long ago. When will you ungrateful snot nosed freaks of nature realize that I'm trying to make you stronger?" Sue demanded.

"Uhm, maybe when my scars heal from the fire and bullet holes?" Tina scoffed.

"Stubbs said he was sorry," Brittany whispered.

"I have an exceptional number of questions that I need to ask to better understand and assess our situation," Rachel piped up. "And also, I really feel that your idea of training would only put me in a coma once more, and I'd like to try to jumpstart Finn and Mercedes before that happens. I can already tell that Finn is upset that he's been neglected."

"He's pouting like a little bitch," Puck smirked. "I don't need to read his mind to be able to do that."

"Tick tock, tick tock," Sue muttered, looking down at her watch.

_Mercedes_…

"Huh?" Mercedes wondered aloud, earning an eyeroll from both Puck and Rachel. Puck immediately furrowed his brow, not understanding how he heard Rachel talking to Mercedes' brain. He suddenly realized that he had heard her speak to Blaine as well before he and Kurt had appeared. And now...

_Concentrate on where we are now. Concentrate on each of us, exactly as we are. Think of how we would be asking questions, annoying Coach Sylvester. Keep that image in your head as clear as possible_.

Mercedes did as she was told, allowing Rachel to coax her mind into a tingling sensation as her heart began to flutter uncontrollably. The room seemed to still and Mercedes felt a disconnect that had her stumbling suddenly. Finn noticed and gripped her arm, holding her upright.

"What the hell?" Santana hissed. She turned in her seat and was shocked to see an exact replica of her staying stock still. Her other self's mouth was moving, saying something clearly annoying as Sue scoffed at her and began an overly worded diatribe.

"That's excellent, Mercedes," Rachel praised with a grin as she and Puck stood in unison, leaving behind exact replicas of themselves sitting in their chairs.

"It's a holograph," Sam said in wonder, passing his hand through his own head, who was attentively listening to Sue's rant.

"It's a glamour," Tina shook her head as she reached out a hand to touch _other_Mike's face, then going down to his abs.

"It's AMAZING," Kurt breathed. He grinned at Mercedes and said, "You did this?"

"Rachel told me how," Mercedes admitted, looking at her handiwork with a timid sort of pride.

"Wow, did you make the fake me taller?" Finn wondered, staring at his false counterpart.

"No, that's how tall I see you," Mercedes insisted.

"Oh hell no, Wheezy did you give me a pimple?" Santana demanded, inspecting her imposter's face carefully.

Puck smiled down at the real Rachel and squeezed her hand. "You weren't even phased by that."

"Yeah, I think our time away made me a little more…resilient," Rachel smiled back. "Now just give me a second…I need to find out what Sylvester had planned for us."

Puck watched as Rachel concentrated and was surprised to feel that arousing tug to his insides as he went tagging along with Rachel for a foray into Sue's thoughts. A clean and sterile stainless steel room appeared in his mind, apparently the training room. Standing in the middle was a large box with a timer on it, reading 29 minutes and some odd seconds. Sitting next to the large box was a nonchalant Becky Jackson, who was going over an overly large binder of organizational materials, either completely accepting of or completely ignorant of the fact that she was sitting next to an overly large bomb.

"OH SHIT," Puck whispered as he felt Rachel pull him back from the vision. He looked down at her in wonder and asked, "You can get into other people's minds besides us? And did you mean to take me with you?"

"I think it's a side effect of our bonding session," Rachel whispered. She took a deep breath before revealing quietly to the other Gleeks, "We have to get to the training room, Sue has placed a very REAL bomb next to Becky. She's going to blow us all up in the next thirty minutes."

"Mercedes, can you keep this up?" Sam wondered as he instantly hovered in the air, his feet dangling off the ground.

Mercedes looked to Rachel questioningly and got her response in her head. "I'll set it to end in twenty-five minutes. I'd really like Sylvester to KNOW that she was blowing up if we don't stop it."

"Let's go," Tina grabbed Mike's hands and began to run off to the training room. She couldn't help but whine when Mike began to manipulate his body ahead of her. "It's not fair to stretch your legs ten feet with every step, Mike!"

Sam gripped Quinn and flew her quickly towards the room as Santana and Brittany trotted out of the room with Artie in tow, Brittany saying quietly,

"Stubbs could totally help if I had extra parts right now."

Kurt and Blaine blinked out of the room with a gust of wind, leaving Mercedes, Finn, Rachel and Puck to stare at each other awkwardly. Finn shuffled his feet and said,

"I think I'm okay with this whole Puck thing."

"She never asked for permission," Puck scoffed.

"Is this really the best time to be talking about this?" Mercedes wondered, waving her hand in front of Sue, who was completely caught up in the delusion Mercedes had forced the adults into.

"I just…I don't want you to punish me like this. Having a thing with Puck and not giving me my _thing_," Finn said with an angry furrow of his brow. "I mean, yeah, I lied about Santana, but you're totally being a bitch by keeping me out of the whole superpower loop."

"I'm not!" Rachel debated hotly. "It's just not time yet…."

"Everyone else has their thing! When is it going to be time for my turn?" Finn nearly shouted.

Blaine blinked back into the room with a rush of wind, gripping Puck and Rachel's shoulders. "You guys have to see this…"

Blaine deposited Rachel and Puck into the training room and quickly retrieved Mercedes and Finn. All thirteen teenagers stood shoulder to shoulder in the overly large room, which that very morning had just seemed like a too empty warehouse or multi-purpose room. Now, however, it was a veritable playground of deadly situations turned obstacle course. A wall of fire separated the Gleeks from the actual action, which consisted of a row of large swinging blades, leading to a large patch of lethal looking spikes, to a suspiciously empty portion of the course, then a climbing wall that was _definitely_ booby-trapped, before leading to a clearing where a nonchalant Becky was going over her assignments from Sue. The Cheerio looked up and waved happily at the newly arrived contingent and she complained,

"It's about time you guys came. You should probably stop the bomb now."

_Blaine?_

Puck furrowed his brow, hearing Rachel direct Blaine in his mind too. It was disconcerting, so he took one step forward and held out his hands, finding the first line of fire that had been inundating them all with heat was easily quelled and absorbed by his hands.

"I coulda watered it, Puckerman!" Santana glowered.

"Sure, sure," Puck nodded lazily. "My way works too."

Blaine suddenly gripped hands with Finn and Puck, and by extension Rachel, who was still connected with Puck by their clasped hands. They whooshed through the white nothingness, and Puck had to say that it freaking ROCKED that they weren't stuck there for prolonged periods of time anymore. They quickly whooshed back in, standing feet away from Becky and the bomb at that point. Blaine blinked out again and brought Kurt back with him and they stared at the large box with the blinking numbers. Ten minutes quickly melted off the clock and Becky sighed.

"You can't cheat. Now we're all going to die," she said calmly.

Rachel stomped her foot, hoping to have outsmarted Sue just once. She looked back to the remaining Gleeks, and almost eagerly they were already starting in on the obstacle course one by one. Brittany happily entered the room, followed by Stubbs, who she was using a remote control to move about. She took one look at the course and giggled before sending Stubbs on his way, crashing through the swinging axes with as much joy and giddiness as a two ton bucket of bolts could muster.

The blades stopped moving as Stubbs disabled each one with a flick of Brittany's wrist on the controls, bringing up his canon arms and stopping the lethal shiny metal in its tracks with a glinting of sparks. The troupe of Gleeks gingerly stepped up to the next section of the room with the embedded spikes in the floor. Sam began flying them over it one by one, while Blaine also went into action, leaving the contingent beside the bomb, transporting Mercedes to a safe spot then going back for Santana. Mike simply indicated that Tina should hop on his back for a piggy back and stretched his body out over the spikes with minimal effort, his feet landing safely and his body bouncing back to original shape.

They stared at the blank space of the room curiously, each of them intrinsically knowing that it couldn't be that easy, not if Sue Sylvester was involved.

_Mercedes. Think of what's really there_.

"No shit, Sylvester's got a holograph machine too?" Puck wondered aloud.

Rachel shook her head and brought Puck along for a telepathic glimpse at what Mercedes was seeing. The blank space in front of her fazed in and out, and sure enough, beneath the suspicious blank tile were a plethora of potentially fatal hazards. Blow torches, spring-loaded machetes, dangerous looking canons that held God knows what, and most horrifying of all, small circular objects that made Puck immediately think of land mines he had seen from a lifetime of Vietnam war movies.

"Shit," Puck sighed as Blaine zipped back to them, grabbing Kurt and Puck at Rachel's direction, leaving Rachel and Finn to stand there with Becky and the bomb that had less than ten minutes left on it now.

"Please relax, Finn," Rachel ordered, feeling a sort of emptiness as Puck's hand finally left hers for the first time since they had woken from their three day coma.

"Yeah, you'd be relaxed if you were just standing here, stupid and completely useless while your friends…" Finn bit his lip as Mercedes guided Santana to the nearest square tile, where a high powered jet of what they could only _hope was _water exploded from underneath. Santana made quick work of it, freezing it so that it was a completely solid pillar. "They're all risking their necks over there, Rachel, and I'm standing here all dumb and useless!"

"You aren't DUMB and you are certainly not useless," Rachel countered, flinching herself as Puck began triggering the blow torches and absorbing the heat.

Quinn made a protective space for herself, Kurt and Mercedes as they navigated the empty slots of the giant deadly chess board. Mercedes stopped them all and pointed out a particularly innocent looking square to Kurt. He began muttered pleas to the heavens, and suddenly the land mine whirred up into the air, where Santana freezed it in its spot with little shoots of water and Puck subsequently shot a blast of fire its way. Brittany picked up the pieces, picking up random gears and bits she deemed useful. Artie pushed his chair along dutifully, shaking every so often and speaking Latin in a low voice.

Brittany would relay a helpful translation to Mercedes, who would closely inspect the next tile and the appropriate Gleek would take care of it. Five minutes ticked off the bomb's clock and Becky nonchalantly made more notes in her binder even as Rachel became more anxious.

The transportation Gleeks made easy work of the ridiculously high wall, Blaine and Sam rushing the Gleeks safely over it. Mike bended Tina up towards the top when suddenly she shrieked out in pain as a spear like blade shot out of the wall and lodged itself in her midsection. Mike hastily jumped, and his elongated body cleared the wall and made it to the other side. Tina hissed as a six inch blade stuck out of her side.

"My fucking god-damned spleen!" Tina swore, yanking the dagger out. Her steps faltered and Mike supported her weight as they made it to the box with the other Gleeks all in one piece. She righted herself and said, "Okay, we all made it without cheating too much. Disarm the bastard fucker bomb."

Puck's hands lit up easily and he approached the large box, ready to bend the metal back to give Brittany and Kurt better access to its guts. Rachel stopped him however as Artie grumbled into Brittany's ear.

"The fire will blow us up. It's gotta be Finn," Brittany exclaimed.

"Me?" Finn worried. "I can't…"

_You can. This is what you've wanted, Finn. Be strong now._

Finn felt a tickling at his insides, a missed beat of his heart, and then a sudden warmth in every inch of his body. He stepped forward and held out a hand gripping at the side of the box. He felt Rachel's words and her thoughts guiding him, and suddenly, he was peeling back the heavy steel on the box as if it were merely wrapping paper. In moments, a foot of metal had been stripped off, exposing the guts of the bomb. The time began clicking down to the final minute though and Brittany stepped forward with a thoughtful look.

"I need more time," Kurt whispered, looking up at the machine's counter. "just a few more seconds…a little more time. A million dollars and maybe an extra half- minute."

The red lights on the machine blipped and Kurt was granted his extra thirty-seconds, which Brittany took every second of before grabbing Puck's hand and pulling him towards the machine. "Burn that one."

Puck complied, his fingertip igniting in a very controlled flame. He brought it to the wire that Brittany had indicated and burnt it neatly so that the wire was split in two. The beeping stopped with ten seconds to spare and the gleeks celebrated. Even Becky congratulated them and dropped her binder to clap enthusiastically.

"BECKY!" Sue barked from the front door to the training area.

Becky immediately went back to work as Sue continued to glare at the assembled misfits who were grinning back at her like Cheshire cats. She narrowed her eyes and glared at a prideful Burt Hummel and a smirking Coach Bieste. She cleared her throat and said,

"Thanks for not blowing us all up. Now you will all be _severely_ punished for pulling the wool over my eyes and doing this without my expert supervision."

"She just put us through all that and now she's going to _punish_ us?" Tina scoffed, staring down at the blood spot on her clothes and the new scar she had earned. "Bitch is bat-shit crazy."

* * *

So Finn has super strength? And Mercedes is the Holodeck? : ) And for those of you thinking that Finn spoke to animals, that part has already been assigned. He doesn't get _animals_ to do what he wants, its a little more modern than that. Next Chapter the exposition fairy explains things a little better. Next chapter title? Why sure...

Chapter Nine - "Be True to Your School Now and Let Your Freak Colors Fly"


	9. Chapter 9

There was some confusion about what a Holodeck was. My nerdiness is sad. A Holodeck was featured on _Star Trek: The Next Generation_. It was a room on the Enterprise starship where crew members could go and relax. A machine would create illusions that were super lifelike, so it was like one day, Captain Picard could go to Dickens-era England or the next they could go to the Old West. Mercedes is a walking, talking Holodeck in that she creates an illusion for other people. To get away in the last chapter to the bomb, Mercedes created an illusion of the Gleek's for Burt, Bieste and Sue, rendering the real Gleek's invisible to their eyes as they rushed off to save the day. In short, I want a walking talking Holodeck to be at my command.

And now, on with the show!

Chapter song lyric taken from the Beach Boys "Be True to Your School"

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 9 – "Be True To Your School Now and Let Your Freak Colors Fly"_

_

* * *

Everyone has a moment growing up when their parents give them steadfast orders that are meant to be strictly obeyed._

"_Don't punch your brother in the face."_

"_Stop melting the crayons together, there is no such thing as a jumbo rainbow crayon."_

"_Absolutely do not go in there. Mommy and Daddy are busy."_

_Inevitably, these rules are broken. Your brother gets punched in the face repeatedly. There are no more single crayons, rather just one big ugly brown crayon. And your eyes will never see quite correctly again after witnessing what Daddy had playfully dubbed, "the wheelbarrow"._

_And a person can live with those decisions, but eventually, your brother will have his revenge and punch you in the face, ruining picture day at school. Your assignment will go uncompleted because you needed one single red crayon. You'll miss a lot of life's milestones and pay thousands of dollars to an overpriced therapist because you shriek repeatedly after seeing any wheelbarrow.  
_

_The original nine Plymouth teenagers had no set of rules laid out for them. They had no structure, no guidance, no guardian to step in and smooth out life's rougher situations. And they paid a heavy price for all of this. But if faced with the decision of no supervision, and the supervision that our heroes must deal with today…_

* * *

"I have never encountered such a band of idiotic mercy flush failures. I want every single one of you OUT OF MY SIGHT!"

"Kids, its probably best that you head back to your rooms," Burt sighed as Sue kept ranting. Kurt bit his lip at seeing his father's face reddening and that horrible vein in his forehead popping up a bit, meaning that he was _seriously pissed_. Kurt hadn't seen him that upset since he had maxed out the credit card at the Armani Exchange on socks alone. "I need to have a talk with Coach Sue about safety and proper training procedures.

The kids filtered off nonetheless, including Becky, who was eager to go home for a night of rest and relaxation after her harrowing experience with training. Puck grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her through the lobby to their shared room, a little eager to get her alone. His potential moment of epic romantic sweeping Rachel Berry off her feet had been dashed by the appearance of Brittany, Stubbs and the rest of the gang shortly thereafter.

_You listening, Sparky?_

Rachel, who had been saying prolonged good nights to Kurt and Blaine, jumped a little in her spot and squeezed Noah's hand. She turned to look at him in absolute amazement before her attention was once again diverted by Brittany tackle hugging her and pulling her away from Puck towards her own room.

_Just thought I'd let you know, Sparky, I am TOTALLY going to make the most of this mind to mind connection thing._

"Yo, so…are we cool?" Finn asked suddenly.

Puck's eyes widened slightly at the shock of Finn standing directly in front of him. He heard a tinkling laughter from Rachel and realized that she had just laughed at him IN HIS HEAD. He shrugged at Finn and said,

"We're always cool, bro," Puck admitted. "But you need to keep your distance from Sparky."

"Who?"

_Noah Puckerman you are the most contemptible, idiotic caveman that has ever not walked upright on_-

"Rachel, dude. It's just, I think with all of the energy she's been spilling out of her the last couple of days, it's probably not a good idea for you to get all confused again and decide that you want her," Puck whispered to his friend. "We wouldn't want to put too much stress on our little battery pack."

_NOAH! No matter how much you whisper, I can still hear your stupidly deviant thoughts. Please stop meddling!_

"Are you just saying that stuff so that you can like…get into her pants?" Finn wondered warily.

"No?" Puck shrugged, hoping that was the answer Finn wanted.

"Cool, I guess," Finn nodded. He held out a hand to his friend and smirked when Puck accepted it. He exerted a sudden, bone crushing pressure on Puck's hand, causing the other young man to scrunch his face in sudden pain and discomfort. "Don't hurt her feelings either, dude. That's not cool."

"OUCH, mother fucker," Puck hissed as Finn released his hand finally, laughing as he walked back towards his own dorm room.

_I hope that hurt_.

Puck sneered at Rachel, who was busy at Tina's door, fretting over her already _healed _wounds. He sent a nod Chang's way and waited by their sliding door.

_You can kiss it and make it better, Sparky_.

Rachel rolled her eyes at him as she slowly walked towards their door, unsure if she was ready for what was bound to happen.

_You know, Rachel, you have to admit that I behaved myself the whole time we were in Coma-land. You sort of owe me. I mean…when we get behind this door away from all the nosy ass eyes of our teammates, do you know what's going to happen?_

Rachel bit her lip unwittingly. Causing Puck to groan audibly. Santana laughed as she stood in the doorway next to his room with Rachel. He glared at her and she flipped him off.

"Have fun whacking it tonight, idiot," Santana laughed. "No way is she going to waste her energy sexing you up."

_Funny she should say that. I've always believed that well released sexual tension is most recuperative_.

Puck's jaw dropped at Rachel's flirty thought before he reached out and grabbed her hand, yanking her into their room despite her yelp of surprise. He waited until the doors slid closed before turning her around and backing her into the cool stainless steel of their door. He looked down at her with smoldering heat in his eyes and Rachel couldn't say that she was surprised to feel the sudden waves of heat emanating from his body. Her eyes widened as she looked up at him as innocently as possible.

"I _was_ a good boy," Puck insisted.

"You were very well behaved, Noah," Rachel nodded.

"Good boys deserve a reward," Puck smirked lazily, his lips descending slowly. He was going to make up for some serious lost time.

"RAE! OPEN UP!"

Rachel jumped apart and pushed Puck away with surprising strength, as if she had just borrowed a little from Finn. She turned on a dime and placed a hand on the door, allowing it to slide open and have Tina and Mike walk quickly through. Puck glared at his friend and Mike could do nothing but shrug sheepishly. The bad timing Asian duo was closely followed by Mercedes and a grinning Finn who dared to raise a suspicious eyebrow Puck's way. Sam and Quinn darted into the room, eagerly jumping in on Rachel's bed, joining Finn and Mercedes. Kurt and Blaine actually teleported in with a whoosh of wind before Brittany wheeled in sitting on Artie's lap while Santana pushed them.

"Told you that you'd be whacking it," Santana sneered.

Brittany hopped off of Artie's lap and tackled Puck and Rachel to his bed, before eagerly holding up a book as if it were a grand prize from a bubble gum machine. She opened it and said, "Mercedes gave the whammy to the adults again, and I swiped this from Coach Bieste's locked safe in her office."

"It only took her five minutes to crack it," Artie smiled proudly.

"Sorry to surprise you," Tina said honestly, taking a seat beside Rachel, Mike following her quickly. "But we've been planning this for the moment you guys woke up. The adults are being vague, and we all want answers."

"It's fine, that's great," Rachel smiled enthusiastically. "What have we deduced so far?"

"Okay, let's start with the list…" Kurt pulled out a dry erase marker and began scribbling on the stainless steel door. "Freak show roll call?"

"Sam is a bird. Mike is Gumby. Santana is the Little Mermaid or Katara from the Avatar cartoon. Puck is TOTALLY Zuko the fire guy," Brittany poked a finger into Puck's bicep as Kurt rapidly wrote down Brittany's descriptions word for word. "Blaine can disapparate…"

"I still don't know what that is," Blaine whispered to Sam and Quinn, who could only shrug in response.

"Dude, pick up a book once in a while," Puck rolled his eyes.

"Quinn has a force field. Tina can't die. Artie tells the future. I'm like I normally am, only slightly more awesome," Brittany further explained. "Finn is super duper strong. Kurt is like the guy in the book that could tell the animals to do what he wanted, except Kurt gets to tell machines to do what he wants. Mercedes is like the Holodeck from Star Trek and Rachel is our battery and also can read your thoughts."

"I can't die? I mean, I knew I healed myself, but I _can't_ die?" Tina breathed incredulously.

"You're just like the other guy. He _still_ didn't die. Oh, HEY! You know what I figured out, we're TOTALLY cousins!" Brittany squealed in excitement. "And so are Blaine and Mike! We should like, have a family reunion at Disney World with cool t-shirts!"

Rachel smiled at Brittany's sentiments and said, "So, the original nine powers are here, but there are thirteen of us."

"Brittany and I deduced that some of the powers overlap slightly," Artie revealed. "For instance, Mike, Blaine and Sam are all the same variation. They _move_."

"Mercedes is the only one that's really, really new," Brittany allowed. She held up her hand for a high five. "Go you and inventing yourself a new super power! Air five!"

"Hold on…did you say earlier that the guy who couldn't die before…is still _alive_?" Quinn questioned suddenly, the disbelief clear on her face.

"Yeah, it's kind of sad. I don't like to think about it," Brittany admitted.

Quinn looked to Artie for an explanation and was surprised to have Santana answer it instead, "We were researching it last night after curfew. So, there were an original nine. And as far as we can tell, each generation after that original nine was just…preparing for us. So it was like, hundreds of years of preparing."

"The wealth involved is considerable," Artie interjected. "They basically owned the patents to a lot of really important discoveries. And you know, my great-grandsomething or other kind of foretold them where to find the wealth."

"So it's not completely unreasonable that I ask for a million dollars?" Kurt gaped. "I could gain personally from the power, I told you Sam!"

"Look, it goes against superhero code and the whole genre if you could get wealthy from your powers!" Sam contradicted. He smiled sheepishly at Quinn when she rolled her eyes at his nerdiness.

"Obviously that can't be true," Rachel shook her head in dispute. "I could go to the nearest casino and scam everyone at the poker tables."

"I could _totally_ walk by an ATM machine and ask for a million dollars!" Kurt squealed. "It'll save Puck from the trouble of trying to steal it."

"Can we get back to Brittany's and my great grand-something or other?" Tina asked warily. "Not dying sounds good in theory, but…"

"It's not good," Santana insisted strongly. "Look, for the first like, fifty years or so, the guy lived it up. Then, his friends around him died. His family died. He never aged past the point of thirty, really, and couldn't ever get truly hurt. After a while…it kind of drove him crazy. The book says that our ancestors lost track of him in the late nineteenth century."

"And he's still out there? Where?" Puck wondered.

Santana shrugged and Artie quietly relayed, "I think that's one of the reasons that security is so tight around us. There's a guy out there who can't be killed and he's probably really interested in meeting the next coming of his super hero buddies."

"This is so freaky," Tina whispered. She looked to Mike warily and tried to open her mouth to convey everything she wanted to say, but no words would come out. Instead he squeezed her shoulders and wrapped her up in his arms as best he could as they crammed onto Puck's bed with Rachel, Puck and Brittany.

"There's a little more that the adults haven't told us yet," Artie said softly. He looked at Rachel and smiled sadly. "It has to do with Rachel, and her importance to us. And our importance to her."

Puck stiffened in anticipation as Brittany suddenly wrapped her arms around the both of them and squeezed indiscriminately. Artie cleared his throat and looked to Santana helplessly.

"Okay, fine," Santana rolled her eyes. "So…yeah, even though we've all been totally shitty to Rachel in the past, me being one of the biggest offenders or whatever, we wouldn't be where we are now if we didn't have her. Like…no powers. And even if we did have the powers, Puck would have exploded if she wasn't there so we'd all be dead, save for Tina, anyways."

She took a deep breath and said, "Britt translated it like, twenty times last night, hoping to get a different answer. But the book was clear. If one of us dies…Rachel dies. And if Rachel ever dies? Puck is going to do his very best to go nuclear on all of us. So I know you don't really owe me anything, but really? Try not to die."

"I like that plan," Finn nodded sleepily as his lanky frame was barely contained by Rachel's overcrowded bed. He looked up at Mercedes and said, "I think it's a pretty good idea for none of us to die."

"We just have to be careful," Brittany said quietly. "We have to stick together."

"We will," Rachel promised. She smiled at her teammates, every single one of them save for Puck had all but admitted their dislike for her two weeks ago at Sectionals.

"Rae…can I-can I sleep here tonight?" Tina questioned softly, reaching out to grip her friend's hand.

Puck couldn't help but smile at the other bed, where Sam and Quinn were cuddled up in a ball, their eyes becoming rapidly drowsy. Finn had actually fallen dead asleep with his head resting on Mercedes' chest of all places, which he supposed was about the most comfortable pillow in the room, really. Kurt and Blaine were huddled together by the sliding door, Kurt's head becoming ever so slightly droopy, threatening to drop on Blaine's shoulder in a heartbeat.

Puck took a look down at Rachel, who gave him a guilty smile before ducking under his extended arm. Somehow, all five of them fit on a bed and in moments, the beyond exhausted teens were asleep.

* * *

They slept restfully. No dreams invaded one of their minds that night. A megaphone with Sue Sylvester's screaming voice at 6 am did invade their peacefulness, however.

"THERE WILL BE NO ORGIES ON MY WATCH, FREAK SHOWS! TO THE GYM, I'M GOING TO NEED A LOT OF WINDSPRINTS TO PROVE THAT ALL OF YOUR STAMINA HASN'T BEEN WASTED ON SINFUL COUPLING! OR QUADRUPLING!"

They rushed to the gym and went through a vigorous session of morning aerobic activity before being told to prepare for school. At exactly 7:30 am, they were all in the main lobby of their dorm facility, each looking warily at the other as they awaited instructions. Burt, Bieste and Sue filed into the room and stared at them with concern, stoic-ness and disgust, respectively.

"I don't think this needs to be said, kids, but there will be NO showing off at school today," Coach Bieste said resolutely.

"Blaine, Kurt will take you to the principal's office first thing. You two have both been transferred to McKinley," Burt revealed. "I realize you could zip your way back and forth, but it's safer for all of you if you stick together."

"And again, if I find out you sparked fire, read minds, regenerated or used super strength at all in front of the general populous of McKinley High today, I will END YOU ALL," Sue sneered. "No one knows!"

"Coach Sylvester…what about Mr. Schuester?" Rachel asked as respectfully as possible. Her head was _still_ pounding from Sue's megaphone and she was in no hurry to poke the ridiculously angry bear with a stick.

"Absolutely not!" Sue barked. She brought the megaphone to her mouth and her eyes grew gigantic and crazy as she screamed into it, "_Absolutely_ not!"

"But, he's really close to like, all of us. It's gonna be weird for him not to know," Finn admitted.

"If you breathe one word of this to Schuester, it will be the end of you," Sue promised. She glanced at her watch and then back at the children who had been placed in her care. "Now get out of my sight and stay that way for the next eight hours."

The thirteen teenagers ambled out of her sight, splitting into two groups to go up the moving stair into the real world for the first time in four days. When they reached the top and looked around the gym, they were surprised to see that the gymnasium wall was completely fixed, as were the bleachers that Pastor Wen's van had destroyed that fateful night. They stood staring at the completely pristine and normal gym, and one by one they began to look at each other curiously.

"Okay…so, see you guys?" Sam questioned. "Be careful today."

"Yes, please be careful," Rachel said with a surprising amount of softness. She felt Puck squeeze her hand and looked at him curiously.

_You wore that skirt on purpose to torture me, didn't you?_

Rachel bit back a smile at Puck's thoughts, and began walking towards her locker, unsurprised that he followed her. She smiled back at him and said thoughtfully, "As much fun it is for us to have this unspoken connection…I'd like to keep the channels of my mind clear, lest any of our teammates should need assistance throughout the day."

"Coolio," Puck nodded, leaning against her locker lazily. "Let's skip first period and go make out. That'll keep your mind plenty clear."

Rachel laughed and shook her head before obtaining her necessary books for her morning classes and shutting her locker. She looked to Puck questioningly and couldn't help but grin when he held out his arm for her to take. Her hand settled on his bared forearm. It was warm, _of course_, and she couldn't help but feel that warmth go straight through her as they walked down the hallway, mostly oblivious to the stares they were receiving.

She was surprised when they stopped at her first class and he didn't say goodbye, just followed her right into English Literature. She hadn't known that he took that class. It happened again on the way to Physics. During third period, when he followed her into her Pre-Calculus class she actually laughed at him.

"Noah, you're supposed to be re-taking Geometry this period," she accused.

"I'm not leaving you, Sparky," Puck gave her an incredulous look. "You're crazy if you think you're getting out of my sight. I don't want you to die and shit."

"I won't _die_ in Pre-Calc," Rachel promised.

"Whatever. Humor me," Puck rolled his eyes.

She smiled at his gruff nonchalance and whispered, "I think it's kind of sweet…how protective you get."

"Total turn on, right?" Puck waggled his eyebrows.

_RACH! Boy's locker room!_

Puck and Rachel were out of their seats in a second, ignoring their teacher's protests as they sped down the hallways, intent on getting to where Sam's plea had come from. Mercedes and Tina saw them run past their own class rooms and quickly excused themselves to follow. Artie was already on his way, having already _seen_ what was happening, and Brittany and Santana were speedily wheeling him down the empty corridor.

They made it to the boy's locker room, Sam was lying face down, clearly unconscious, a definitively rumpled Kurt and an angry Blaine were standing protectively in front of him, Azimio and Karofsky glaring at the two Dalton Prep School transfers.

_Quinn, please hurry to the Boy's locker room, bring Finn and Michael_.

"What's all this, are we interrupting the big Gay freak meeting?" Azimio sneered at the assemblage of Gleek's huddled protectively together by the front door to the locker room.

"You have no idea the never ending shit storm you've just unleashed upon your own heads," Puck growled angrily.

_Noah, NO!_

But it was too late, Puck dropped Rachel's hand before storming into the room, smoking fists at the ready as he pulled back his arm and clocked Azimio on the side of his head. The boy crumbled under the force and was immediately rendered unconscious, and Puck turned his attentions to Karofsky, who was staring down at Puck's fists in wonder, as curls of smoke drifted off of them.

"Dude…are you _that_ flaming right now?" Karofsky scoffed.

"Back off, Karofsky!" Finn shouted as he and Quinn rushed into the room. Quinn went directly to Sam, who was quietly stirring, his nose bloodied. Finn looked at Kurt and could see the boy had been physically tossed about. Finn saw red as he glared at the guy who had sent Kurt running in the first place. "Did he hurt you, Kurt?"

"Finn, it's fine, let's just all go," Kurt said softly.

"He did," Blaine answered immediately, glaring at Karofsky angrily. He wouldn't run away from this. Not this time.

Finn reached out and gripped Karofsky by the shoulders before throwing him into a row of lockers with such strength that the metal buckled and crunched beneath the force. He went for another swipe but halted when Rachel invaded all of the Gleek's at once.

_STOP THIS VIOLENT NONSENSE AT ONCE! Mercedes!_

Mercedes felt her insides pull at Rachel's request and everything in the room slowed and stopped, Karofsky was crunched into the lockers and the Gleek's separated from their identical illusions.

Mike swallowed nervously at the scene, he looked down at Azimio and cringed at the knuckle shaped burn marks blooming on the football player's head. He shrugged and looked between his teammates and guessed,

"Coach Sylvester is going to have us running wind sprints until the end of time…"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So whose power do you like the best so far? Next chapter is short, but full of very interesting things, I promise. No makeouts _yet_ though, for anyone.

Chapter Ten - "What Do You Say to Taking Chances? What Do You Say to Jumping to Your Doom?"


	10. Chapter 10

Happy New Year's Eve Eve! Welcome to the tenth chapter of Misfit Toy Hero Squad! I'm loving all the reviews and emails I'm getting about this story. It's all a little overwhelming. But I have always maintained that nothing brings people together like shared nerdiness. There is a reason there are Star Trek themed weddings, afterall. I really love seeing people's theories about where I'm taking this.

Title is taken from Celine's "Taking Chances" of course. I hope you all enjoy this!

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad

_Chapter Ten - "What Do You Say to Taking Chances? What Do You Say to Jumping to Your Doom?"_

_

* * *

Children of divorced parents fall into two succinct trains of thought. There are the children who are miserable. And there are the children who realize that their parents separating is for the best, and they support their parents. And then they try to get every last thing they can get from both of the parents. Double Christmas, Double Birthday, Double Allowance._

_Heroes of divorced enemies fall into one succinct train of thought. Mother/Father help us all._

_

* * *

_

_Noah, I really wish you and Finn hadn't completely annihilated those idiots._

_Felt good, though. You were tapped in at the time. Did you FEEL my mind get all happy and giddy when Azimio dropped to the ground?_

_You take far too much amusement from senseless violence, Noah._

_Yeah. I'm not arguing the truth, Sparky. Anyway, here's what we need to do…_

_I am NOT taking your advice on how to handle Principal Figgins! We'll all end up in Juvie!_

_Figgins never sent me to juvie. Matter of fact, all the shit I've pulled, I've never even had detention. Are you going to let me get us out of this or what?_

Thirteen Gleeks were currently crammed into Figgins' office uncomfortably, staring straight ahead, expressionless. All were silent while Rachel and Puck had bantered back and forth for the last ten minutes on their shared brainwave. They sat in the only two seats in front of Figgins' currently unoccupied desk, with Artie pushed between them, while the other ten students formed a crammed line behind them. Not one of them dared to turn around to see Figgins talking animatedly with Sue Sylvester, Burt Hummel and Shannon Bieste.

Twelve of the Gleeks had no idea what the future held in in store for them. One did however. Artie began to shake slightly and he muttered Latin under his breath as Brittany bent forward, straining her ears to hear him.

"Artie says we're all expelled," Brittany whispered.

A breath of relief seemed to breeze through most of the Gleeks. They hadn't even made it to lunchtime and their first day back at school had been a disaster. There was no way they were going to make it a WHOLE day without their collective superpowers knocking down half of the school. Rachel frowned and hissed,

"That's _terrible_!"

"Wrong, Sparky. That's awesome!" Puck chuckled, and everyone of the guys in the room agreed.

"What about-"

"Children! I am severely disappointed in every single one of you!" Figgins interrupted their conversation as he made his way to his desk with some difficulty due to the crowd. Bieste, Sue and Burt also tried to cram their way in, leaving little to no room to breathe. "You are all summarily expelled."

"This is completely new information," Brittany said softly.

"I'm totally shocked," Finn agreed.

"Principal Figgins, I must say that I'm afraid you haven't examined the facts thoroughly enough. The entire scuffle was only a result of two incredibly horrendous bullies-"

"Ms. Berry, I understand what you were trying to do," Figgins put up a hand. "My primary concern here is the safety of students. And considering what only two out of the thirteen of you just accomplished, I can no longer have you wandering the halls of McKinley. I was loathe to readmit you after your awakening, however, Coach Bieste and Mr. Hummel made a case for normalcy…"

"You're totally in on it!" Puck accused. He glared between the adults angrily and demanded, "Who else knows?"

"And why can't we tell Mr. Schue?" Quinn wondered. "Every adult we've met seems to already KNOW. Why can't we have someone know that _actually_ cares about us?"

"Ms. Fabray, I am a member of the community, they would not entrust your education to a stranger, of course," Figgins waved her off. "We are the only adults _in on it_, as Mr. Puckerman so eloquently stated."

"You said you're a member of the _community_," Blaine wondered with a furrowed brow. "But you're just going to kick us out of school? I mean…we need to graduate high school."

"Not one of you are welcome to roam the halls of McKinley whilst other students are in danger's way. However, we will still educate you in your dormitory," Figgins promised. "You will all graduate and receive the extra attention that you require."

"I got extra attention once so that I could learn the colors," Brittany informed Artie quietly. "Totally worth it."

"Principal Figgins!"

The thirteen young people in the room turned anxiously towards the door, the barely visible curly mop of hair was a welcome addition to the already overcrowded room. Will Schuester stood at the back of the room, angling his head so that he could better assess the situation that had unfurled in the principal's office. The Glee Club director stood on his tip toes as he tried to address a clearly disinterested Figgins.

"Principal Figgins, if I could speak on behalf of my kids…"

"Cram it Hairnet," Sue snarled.

"I'm not sure if you're aware of the depth of the bullying they've received-"

"Will, really. They aren't getting off the hook on this one," Burt said resolutely. "I've got a handle on this. Don't worry. The kids will be fine."

"You're the parent of one of these kids and the step-parent of another," Will argued. "I hardly think that qualifies you…"

"Being their buddy and choir director doesn't qualify you, Will," Bieste said gently. She looked at each of the kids with resigned disappointment and said, "Both Azimio and Karofsky are in the emergency room right now."

"How did my kids-"

"Enough, Schuester!" Sue barked. "Bieste and I are both losing valuable members of our team…"

"I'm losing my WHOLE team!" Schue shouted. He looked at the kids helplessly and furrowed his brow at Blaine's presence. "Except for Blaine…he wasn't in my club."

"I was going to try," Blaine whispered dryly to Kurt.

"We're all making sacrifices here, Schue," Bieste shrugged. "Both of my quarterbacks are out. And not one kid on my defense can tackle except for Puckerman."

"Santana is a very important bottom rung of the pyramid," Sue shrugged as a way to reluctantly back Bieste up. "We've tried reasoning, but we realize that expulsion is the only way to go here. These kids have to learn that you can't just go around GIVING PEOPLE BRAIN DAMAGE. It's not right."

"Okay…we're going to go and focus on that," Quinn said slyly, grabbing Sam's hand and giving a stern look to all the other Gleek's. "We'll leave now."

Sue sent a death glare to her once again _former_ head cheerio, with which she hoped to convey ridiculous anger and fiery brimstones of warning at what Quinn was honestly trying to pull at that moment.

"We should all go grab lunch and reflect," Rachel said suddenly, siddling along and gripping Puck's hand steadfastly.

"Can we go to McDonald's? There are Transformers toys in the Happy Meals, and I want to show Stubbs-"

Mercedes instantly froze the entire room of adults and the teenagers separated from their holographic versions of themselves. Their carbon copies stood stock still as Sue began screaming at them all. Rachel smiled reassuredly at a panicking Mercedes as they quickly squirmed their way out of the door.

"I'm sorry it was so abrupt," Mercedes whispered as they squeezed past Schue as he pinched the bridge of his noise in annoyance. "But Brittany said _Stubbs_ and Mr. Schue was definitely gonna ask WHO IS STUBBS?"

"I know, I panicked too," Rachel agreed as she walked through the principal's door that Sam was holding open for them all. She squeezed Puck's hand and said, "So we're officially going to be _murdered_ by Sue Sylvester. Now what?"

"Let's go grab some pizza," Finn suggested.

"But, I still want to stop at McDonald's!" Brittany pouted.

In Figgins' office, Schue sighed heavily as Sue continued to scream at the completely ashamed and unresponsive kids. He felt a chill run up his spine and squinted as something caught his eye. He couldn't tell, but Finn seemed slightly taller than usual. His eyes darted around at the kids suspiciously, finding little flaws in each of them. He furrowed his brow in confusion as Sue continued to scream and was shocked when Rachel actually _yawned_ in full view of everyone, causing Sue to explode once again in spewing venom.

Quietly he backed out of the room and looked around the empty hallway, feeling something was most definitely off with his kids.

* * *

"I can't believe we left the school," Rachel whispered.

"We had to eat. Sylvester was going to make us chomp down on our own vomit after she made us run eight-seven laps," Santana insisted strongly. "Have you ever had to eat your own vomit, Sparkplug? It's unpleasant."

"I prefer apple slices," Brittany grinned, delving into the Happy Meal they had smuggled into the pizza restaurant. She swatted Artie's hand from her Chicken McNuggets. "For someone who can see the future, you can't see the waitress with your pizza right behind you?"

Puck clasped his hands together in extreme excitement before he grabbed a slice of the stuffed pizza that contained fifty different kinds of meat, literally. Rachel watched as he tore into the calorie-fest with a measure of disgust on her face. He turned to her, his mouth full off food as he asked,

"Huh?"

_I am NOT kissing you after you ingest that_.

Puck looked back at his heavenly one pound piece of pizza and gave a heavy sigh. He looked back at Rachel with a full on pout. He looked back at his pizza with a heavy sigh, then back to Rachel with an even poutier pout and even a hint of tears in his eyes. Brittany pointed at him and whispered, "Antonio Banderas kitty!"

Rachel rolled her eyes and puffed out an exasperated sigh.

_Oh eat it, you silly boy. _

"You'll still kiss me?" Puck whispered into her ear, his breath hot against her skin.

"Maybe someday," Rachel muttered back.

_Totally_ _the minute we have a moment alone_.

Puck watched as she blushed at his self-assured thought. He grabbed his pizza again and tucked back in as Rachel ate her cheeseless veggie pizza. Gross.

"So, like being a vegan totally makes you thinner, right?" Santana wondered as she grabbed a slice of Rachel's pizza. "I mean, cheese is bad for you."

"Cheese is delicious," Blaine countered as he swallowed a large bite of the stuffed meat pizza.

"And your skin gets better too, right?" Quinn demanded of Rachel, who could only nod with her mouth full.

"I could do that," Santana nodded. "I mean, it would beat the shakes Sylvester makes us eat. You can totally still eat PB&J."

"Except it doesn't matter, because you're not a Cheerio anymore," Kurt reminded her. "None of us are _anything_ anymore."

"It's for the best," Mike shrugged. "Do you really want anyone else heading to the hospital? I mean, I wanted Azimio and Karofsky in the hospital, but I can't think of anyone I would want to hurt now."

Artie spasmed violently, and Finn reached out and pounded him on the back, thinking that the boy was choking on a piece of exotic Canadian bacon. Instead his voice went low and grumbly as he whispered towards Brittany, "_Perculosis_."

"But I'm not done with my Happy Meal yet!" Brittany wrinkled her nose distastefully. She shoved a two apple slices into her mouth quickly and washed them down with her entire bottle of chocolate milk before saying in an injured, aggravated tone, "Artie says there's danger coming."

"It's not my fault when I see this stuff!" Artie insisted, annoyed at Brittany's annoyance.

"All you got is danger?" Quinn huffed.

"I'm sorry, let me go to the Tivo and replay the really confusing vision I just saw," Artie grumbled. "You can't replay premonitions, yo!"

The lights to the pizza parlor cut out suddenly and Puck gripped Rachel's hand in his. For the first time ever, their physical connection sent a surge of energy through _Rachel_. She found that with the extra boost she didn't even have to mentally converse her needs to her teammates. She simply had to _think_ of what she wanted them to do.

Mercedes froze the pizza parlor workers' visions. And Blaine grabbed her hand as they rushed towards the counter boy and waitress, they put a gentle hand on each person's shoulder and whooshed from the room, getting the innocent civilians out of the way with them none the wiser.

Finn flew into action, pushing two of the counters that had been built into the floor off of their brackets with a loud crunching noise. He shoved the counters against the front door, and Puck dropped Rachel's hand and began melting the plastic and steel chairs they had been sitting on into large globs before placing them atop the counters, the melted goo sticking fast to the door and door frame, causing an unbreakable seal. Santana threw pitchers of soda onto it and froze the liquid in place, causing an impressive barrier.

Blaine and Mercedes arrived back in the parlor as Finn, Puck and Santana began working on barricading the back entrance as well. Brittany and Artie positioned themselves in a safe corner of the room, her listening intently as Artie concentrated on getting more information from his unpredictable visions. Kurt was busy muttering at the lights, and managed to get them to flicker on once more, only to have them blow out moments later.

"Someone really wants us in the dark," Tina muttered angrily as she continued to hand Puck chairs that Mike stretched to her from across the pizza parlor.

"How much longer do we have?" Sam demanded, staring out the small windows and into the night.

The sound of shattering glass answered him and thirteen pairs of wary eyes watched as a small cylinder rolled onto the nearly empty floor of the diner slowly. Seconds ticked off the clock that Tina held in her hands, ready to be melted when suddenly, a red light began blinking on the small canister rapidly. The ends of the canister hissed open and a mysterious gas began to leak slowly out of it.

Thirteen mouths opened identically and one of them muttered "Shoot." While everyone _but_ Rachel muttered, "_Shit_."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I think you'll get a chapter sometime tomorrow. I'll do my best at the very least. If not tomorrow, certainly Saturday. Things are about to get really..._really_. There is no word I can find in my brain to describe what the next two or three chapters will be like. Next chapter? Sure, sure...

Chapter Eleven – "I Need a Girl With A Short Skirt and a Mind Power"


	11. Chapter 11

It's still not 2011 where I am, so I didn't break the chapter a day streak. I realize that I probably planned my day so very full so that I would be able to post this when no one was around to read it. Because. Well. On with the show. Chapter title is from Cake, "Short Skirt...Long Jacket". I love Cake. Both the band and the sweet dessert treat. Happy New Year!

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 11 – "I Need a Girl With a Short Skirt and a Mind Power."_

_

* * *

There are instances in life where you already have a completely wonderful and amazing thing occurring, and the fates decide that you should have another completely wonderful and amazing thing occurring at the same time. A gorgeous full moon on one edge of the horizon and a shooting star on the other. Your newborn baby or your loving partner's face. The incredibly gorgeous person walking to your left and the incredibly gorgeous person walking to your right._

_God, or whomever is in charge of this infinite universe never closes a door without opening a window. Sometimes, the door is obliterated and the windows are smashed in. Sometimes, everything is boarded up tight._

_Sometimes, the man behind the wheel falls fast asleep, so it is up to the people who can't waste time asking him for help to come up with their own way out._

_

* * *

_

Rachel held her breath and jerked her head towards Quinn, not bothering to go through the formality of beaming orders into her mind. Instead she simply took over and Quinn thrust her right hand into the air and exuded a small, perfectly oval blue bubble. It zipped through the air like a laser and suddenly the dangerous, gas-leaking canister was enveloped by it, rendering the sinister device completely useless.

Puck took a deep breath and lit a fire ball in his hands, to better light the room as Kurt had only managed to make the lights flicker back and forth. He nodded at Santana, who was currently busy freezing thick walls of soda against the windows, hoping that they held against whatever was going to be thrown at them next by _whoever_ currently wanted them dead. Or trained. Or both.

Rachel turned to Brittany and Artie, her politeness back after the gas scare.

_Artie, don't panic. I'm going to look inside your mind to better assess our current dire situation_.

"Go for it," Artie shrugged helplessly.

Rachel took a deep breath and shut her eyes, stepping as gracefully as she could through Artie's thoughts, ignoring all of those that revolved around Brittany and Santana body parts. She focused on the one that seemed to matter, the central point in Artie's mind. The enemy was right outside. The enemy had one firm order.

_Capture or Kill._

She furrowed her brow as she tried to unravel what Artie had foreseen. She felt a hand grip hers physically and a warm surge of energy traveled through her entire body, giving her the boost she needed as the jumbled images of Artie's visions, the ones that he articulated in particularly atrocious Latin, became clear as day. And then, everything went straight to hell. Right there in her mind's eye, she was assaulted with a deluge of horrifying visions. Pain. Destruction. Death. Vaguely she heard Artie rapidly grumbling out Latin phrases. They were coming so quickly that even Brittany was having a hard time keeping up with him. Hundreds of different horrifying scenarios assaulted her until they just became one large violent ball of blood and desperation.

_Noah._

She gasped and RAN out of Artie's mind, looking up at Puck as he gripped her hand in worry. Her eyes filled with tears and she shook her head in shocked dismay.

"We need to get out of here!" Rachel whispered desperately.

Finn furrowed her brow, having heard her quiet desperation. "We just spent a lot of time sealing ourselves IN."

"I don't think I can zip everyone at once. I thought that was why we were fortifying," Blaine honestly admitted, panicking just as much as everyone else in the room as he watched Rachel break down as she was overcome with intense, choking sobs. He hadn't known the girl as long as everyone else, but she had always seemed so take charge, whether it be on stage or in a huge underground training facility, diffusing bombs.

"We have to…oh God," Rachel gasped, her voice forcing itself out past the thick onslaught of tears. "Noah…please. Blaine…we need to get out of here. NOW."

* * *

"Those little BASTARDS!"

Burt flinched as Sue screamed at the suddenly empty room. Obviously whatever whammy Mercedes had laid on them abruptly disappeared and the once crowded office now only contained the adults. Burt furrowed his brow as he looked around.

"Wait, where's Schuester?" he wondered.

"Where those kids are, I'd wager," Bieste muttered. "They probably took him with them. They were all so keen to tell him…"

"That can not be good," Figgins admitted, still feeling a little shocked at having witnessed one of the Gleek's powers up close and personal. Reading about the original nine his whole life didn't seem to cover the amazement he felt after Mercedes' forced illusion.

Sue gripped her phone in her hand and barked into in after the first half of a ring, "Becky! Have you heard anything on the wire?"

Sue nodded at Becky's thorough report before hanging up with a stern, "Red Alert, Becky. The cuckoos have flown the nest. I repeat, the cuckoos have flown the nest."

Sue hung up and looked at Bieste with a barely raised brow, "There's been a suspicious amount of radio silence."

"What's that mean?" Burt asked in concern.

"Sue and I go find those kids, and you stay downstairs and pray that they all find a way home," Bieste said gruffly as she and Sue both walked out of the office, followed quickly by Burt as Figgins started making the appropriate emergency phone calls.

"You don't know where they are!" Burt grumbled angrily, his worry growing exponentially by the _second._ He had seen Sue lose it countless times over the year. He had never seen both her and Shannon Bieste look so crazed and determined before.

Sue nodded grimly as they quickly headed towards the front doors of the school. She looked back at her companions, the two other people who had been entrusted with thirteen young lives and tried to quell the panic rising up in her. She nodded as Burt stayed at the door, knowing that he had to follow orders and stay, no matter how much he wanted to go out and find his son and the twelve other kids who seemed very much like his own now.

"We'll follow the explosions."

* * *

"Sparky, calm down…please just breathe," Puck whispered as he folded a hysterical Rachel into a strong, heated embrace. He darted a glance towards Santana and mouthed, "_Water_."

Santana complied, reaching out her hand and causing a bottle of water to fly off a shelf, pushing against a refrigerator door until it was in her hands. She tossed it Puck's way and could only watch in horrified, slightly guilty fascination as Rachel continued to shake with raw, intense sadness in Puck's arms. Santana could only watch as she crossed her arms defensively in front of her. She had tried to break Rachel Berry thousands of times since the sixth grade. And she had never truly succeeded. And for Santana, trying to _break_ Rachel Berry roughly translated into bullying so intense, she half expected any other person to go full out postal crazy on the whole school with a high powered sniper rifle. But she was Rachel Berry, so she never fucking broke.

But one trip into Artie's mind had broken Rachel Berry. Santana knew that nothing good could come of that.

"Who is out there?" Sam demanded quietly of Brittany, feeling the need to do _something_ since flying around the parlor was out of the option.

"Hold on," Brittany whispered, her left index finger rapidly writing out words on the palm of her open right hand. She was muttering things under her breath, as if trying to dictate all of the translations to what she had heard Artie spew forth into her memory forever.

"Britt, we kind of need to know what we're dealing with," Sam insisted.

"I SAID HOLD ON!" Brittany shouted, causing everyone, including Rachel and Puck to flinch. Not one of them had ever heard that angry, hard desperation in the usually unflappable Brittany's voice. She felt their stares and suddenly looked up at them all, her eyes angry at first as she stared at each of their shocked faces. The anger quickly melted however at their concern and soon her blue eyes were filled with tears and her face crumpled miserably. "I'm so sorry…"

"Britt-britt, baby, it's okay," Santana assured her. "Sam didn't mean to pressure you."

"No…it's not that. I'm just sorry," Brittany tearfully asserted, flinching as Rachel hiccupped roughly in between her sobs. The helpless blonde Cheerio shrugged her shoulders and whispered, "I should have been able to understand it better."

"Brittany…who is out there trying to get in?" Quinn asked softly.

"The government," Brittany answered. "They really want us and not to give us a medal or something."

"It's…it's a capture or kill scenario," Rachel managed to spit out from the safety of Puck's arms.

"I am so not down with getting dissected," Mercedes decided instantly.

"What if we split up? What if Blaine takes those that can't-"

"NO!" Rachel practically shouted at Sam's half-stated suggestion. "We _have_ to leave together. If we separate then..."

"I'm with Mercedes, I'm not down with getting dissected by the government either," Finn interrupted suddenly.

"So we stand here. We fight," Tina insisted with a strength she wasn't quite sure she possessed.

"Says the girl who _can't die_," Santana hissed.

"Back off, Satan!" Mike spat out bitterly, reaching his arm an extra foot or two to grip Tina's hand in his own.

"No one is dying!" Quinn yelled.

"I'm NOT going to be some rat in a cage for some government psychos! Tina made me watch the fourth season of Buffy, the government is going to cut us up and make a super monster!" Mercedes disputed. "If that means I have to die here, go all Bon Jovi and out like a blaze of glory…then-"

"SHUT UP!" Puck shouted as Rachel jumped in his arms. He pulled her tighter and glared at Mercedes angrily. "We're all going to get out of here alive."

"Yeah guys, don't die, because then Rachel dies," Brittany reminded everyone as she wiped her tears away, valiantly trying to banish away the all consuming sadness that was still eating away at her as her brain computed all of the predictions Artie had just made.

Everyone remained silent for a few extended moments, realizing why Puck was glaring daggers at Mercedes for even _thinking_ about giving up or taking a Bon Jovi song too literally. They all had more than their own lives to fight for at the moment. Puck shook his head and stared down at Rachel, his thoughts unheard by the rest of the Gleeks.

_We're going to get out of here, Sparky. We're going to be fine._

Rachel took comfort from his words and literal strength from his touch. He had been like a walking talking IV bag to her for the last hour and she couldn't help but wonder how they were pulling that off. She nodded in his embrace and pulled away, looking around, her mind trying to remain strategic as they assessed their situation. She looked at Blaine, who was staring miserably at his feet as Kurt had a comforting hand on the distraught boy's shoulder.

_Blaine, its okay. I want to try something. I think we can make this work_.

Brittany began writing on her hand again, this time with a sudden fevered desperation as she tried to work through nearly a hundred different premonitions that she was translating and decoding in her head. She shook her head and rewrote the word before turning at Puck and desperately calling out, "Puck! Explosion!"

Puck turned towards the front door that a few minutes ago he had thought he and Santana had expertly sealed. He saw a glinting metal object floating towards it and falling flush against the outside. He held up his hands as the grenade detonated, he saw Santana reach her hand in the opposite direction towards the pizza parlor's kitchen and felt the dual sensation of the hot fire hurtling at him and a tsunami wave of ice cold water at his back.

Together, with a little guidance from Rachel, the fire was out, but the door was now wide open. Puck turned to face the Gleeks who had avoided danger by darting behind him with a resolute face. Santana pushed her hand at the busted sink she had pulled the water from, causing it to die down immediately.

"No one dies. _Together_ we can do this," he insisted strongly. He thought about his words for a split second before raising a bemused brow and adding, "No homo."

"Puck is my homeboy," Tina smirked at Mike.

"Fire guy is everyone's homeboy," Puck grinned at Rachel specifically, hoping that she had at least pushed her emotional breakdown to the back of her heart for now. They could deal with emotions later. "Now's the time to kick ass-"

One single gun shot was fired and Rachel's eyes widened in horror as one of the visions she had seen in Artie's head came to fruition before her very eyes. She couldn't move fast enough, she couldn't get the other Gleek's to move fast enough, it was Tina who screamed out loudest, simply yelling, "PUCK NO!" with all the horror and guilt that any one person could conjure. She's the one that _couldn't die_. Why was a bullet heading straight for Puck? She'd have gladly taken it, sworn her head off at the pain of it and gotten the FUCK over it. Puck could light the world on fire, but the tiny metal bullet was about to _end _him AND Rachel.

Quinn felt her hand raise and her gut clench as Rachel tried to save the father of her daughter. _Beth's Dad_. She watched as the blue orb whooshed from her very skin, making a beeline towards Puck. She felt Rachel's strength combining with her own as the protective shield grew and moved faster than it had ever done before. It hit his chest and vanished immediately.

But it wasn't fast enough. The impact of the bullet in Puck's back propelled him forward as his body crumpled at Rachel's feet. She felt herself breaking immediately. Not in some horrible romantical sense, but literally, breaking and weakening to the point where she couldn't stand any longer. She fell to her knees and put suddenly weak hands over the gushing hole in Puck's back.

"Blaine?" she called out weakly. He rushed to her side, ready to teleport them to the nearest hospital when she ordered everyone, "Join hands!"

They did as they were told, forming a large, tangled chain of Gleeks. Rachel felt their energy flowing through her as she kept one hand pushing firmly over the bleeding bullet hole that was sapping Noah Puckerman's life from his very body. She closed her eyes and neither she, nor Blaine could tell who was the one actually using the power at that point. They blinked out of the ruined pizza parlor, all thirteen of them linked together haphazardly through clenched hands into the unknown.

* * *

Uhm. Happy New Year?

Thoughts? Theories? Questions? Flames? Death Threats? I _think_ I'm ready. Coming up...

. . . Chapter Twelve – "It Don't Take a Word, Not a Single Word, Go On and Kiss the Boy."


	12. Chapter 12

Happiest of New Year's to everyone! I hope the year is full of fun and awesome and cake and Puckleberry or whatever it is that you ship.

This chapter title was taken from "Kiss The Girl" from the Little Mermaid. Enjoy!

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter Twelve – "It Don't Take a Word, Not a Single Word, Go On and Kiss the Boy."_

_

* * *

In the past, there was a man who could control fire. 372 years ago to be exact. It did wonders for his blacksmithing. However, being a master of fire was not the greatest accomplishment he could lay claim to. His greatest victory in life came in winning the hand and heart of a lovely young woman with an exceptionally large heart, beautiful smile, gorgeous angelic voice, and the ability to use her mind to control others to do her very own bidding. She possessed all of these qualities even before glimpsing a red crimson moon on a winter solstice. _

_If the complete truth were to be told, he did not win her hand and heart fairly. But the methods of creating everlasting love should never be questioned, for it is the one thing on all planes of existence that is worth going to extremes for. One should never think ill of another person who has done everything in their power to hold on to their soul mate._

* * *

Blaine felt a gust of air harshly break against his skin as all of the other kids disentangled themselves once they too felt the tell-tale sign that their trip through defying physics was over. He looked around curiously at the room that looked eerily similar to Rachel and Puck's dorm room. Except this room only had one bed and a few more adorable stuffed animals. He knew it was Rachel who had been the one to do the teleporting. He would have never been able to do it so seamlessly. There was always at least one moment in the blank white nothing. She had literally pushed them straight through to here.

"Where did you bring us?" Mercedes wondered softly.

"Rachel's room…we're at Rachel's house," Kurt whispered back. He looked at Blaine curiously and asked, "How did you know-"

"It wasn't me," Blaine shook his head slightly, looking down in complete and utter concern at the devastated and weak Rachel, who had her hands on Puck's wound, even as he somehow was now lying face up.

"Quinn," Rachel whispered. "The force field…."

"I'm sorry…I couldn't," Quinn shook her head, her voice breaking as tears slid from her unblinking eyes easily as she watched Puck dying in front of her eyes.

"You stopped the bullet before it hit his heart," Rachel said softly. "I can feel it. I can see it. You wrapped his heart up in the bubble…_thank you_."

"Is Puck going to be okay?" Brittany wondered hopefully.

Finn gulped as he looked down at the pale face of his unconscious best friend. He flinched when he saw Puck's blood oozing out from his back and seeping into the ivory carpet of Rachel's bedroom. He shook his head softly and looked around the room, seeing that Sam had the same grim face.

"We have to stop the bleeding," Tina insisted softly. "Can we call an ambulance? Can we trust an ambulance? Can we-"

"No," Brittany answered. "We can't trust anyone. Except maybe Kurt's dad at this point."

"How do we stop the bleeding?" Merecedes wondered. She looked to Santana and said, "Isn't blood, like, mostly water?"

Santana concentrated as hard as she could as she focused her eyes on the blood pouring from Puck's body and felt her face crumple when absolutely nothing happened. Artie reached out and gripped her hand and consoled her softly, "I don't think it works that way."

"Rae?" Mike knelt next to her and could see her own skin paling as well, her eyes slowly blinking, the time her lids stayed lowered extending with each pass. He knew the answer to his question before he asked it, "Are you feeling okay?"

"I-okay," Rachel's voice barely made it past her lips. She felt her strength sapping with every forced beat of her heart. She placed her head against Puck's still chest and listened for his heart beat. Quinn lifted a hand and removed the bubble encasing Puck's heart without being asked, and Rachel softly smiled as she felt a very soft, ever slowing beat. "Sleepy."

Brittany felt tears brimming in her eyes and she shook her head forcefully, looking at the palm of her right hand intently. Her lips moved soundlessly as she seemed to read words she had written earlier in the night. Suddenly a smile lit up her whole face and she turned and pushed Tina towards Rachel.

"Link hands!" Brittany ordered roughly. The other Gleeks could only stare at her curiously, to which Brittany responded with the meanest scowl she had ever tried on her face before. "DO IT!"

They did as they were told and Brittany nudged Tina towards Rachel. Tina put her hand on Rachel's shoulder and Brittany seemed to approve. Rachel was slowly slipping into a blissful black sleep, and fluttered her eyes open to acknowledge Tina. The Asian girl smiled and shrugged. "Brittany told us to. Do you know what we're supposed to do now? Do you remember seeing something in Artie's visions?"

Rachel thought back to the horrifying trip into Artie's visions and tried to focus on anything that she had seen that would help her out of this very deadly situation. Puck was about to bleed to death with a bullet lodged into his back, inches away from his heart, and she could feel herself slipping away right along with him.

Relief was so close. An ending was right there. But their friends were staring down at them expectantly, tears running down most of their faces at this point. She focused on the knowledge and her power and very suddenly she saw it.

That beautiful pink glowing coming off of Tina's skin. She felt a switch go off inside of her, and deep inside her mind she felt a pull. Tina lurched in front of her and dropped to her knees beside Rachel, a beautiful pink light invading her line of sight, obscuring the sight of Rachel and Puck before her very eyes. Soon the light became blinding and all the Gleeks looked away, closing their eyes before it burned their sight away completely.

* * *

Rachel blinked and jolted upright, looking around suspiciously. The walls were the same color they had been a moment ago, but this time there was only one bed. And Noah Puckerman was reclined lazily against the headboard, his guitar in his hands, plucking indeterminately at the strings. He had been humming an unidentifiable tune and Rachel couldn't help but smile as it sounded suspiciously like _Sweet Caroline_.

"Glad you could make it, Sparky," he smiled at her lazily. "It feels like I've been waiting forever for you to wake up."

Rachel smiled wider at him as she crept up to sit as close to him as possible. He put the guitar aside and reached out for her, pulling her close to him as she lay her head on his chest, looking desperately for his heartbeat.

"It's not there," Puck admitted sadly. "Is this going to be what it is for us? Are we dead now?"

"I don't think so," Rachel whispered. "I think we're somewhere in the middle. Brittany figured something out. We're trying to fix you. I think this is definitely some type of holding area."

"Okay," Puck nodded, reaching his arm down to tighten around her shoulders. "I wouldn't have minded this for an eternity."

"I don't know if that's how it works," Rachel admitted. "Wouldn't we just have to come back in eight decades or so and try again?"

"Huh?" Puck furrowed his brow. She definitely held a lot more information in the brain of hers that she hadn't been sharing. She slid away from him slightly and he tried to tighten his grip around her. "Hold on, wait, that was comfy."

"Our friends are worried," Rachel insisted strongly as she climbed off the bed. She leveled a serious look at him and goaded, "Even _Santana _is sobbing her eyes out."

Rachel looked around their dorm room, curiously, hoping to find something. She didn't know quite what, but she had a feeling, and in the past few days she had been learning to trust her instincts completely. And there, nestled between a rare picture of both of their families at the Temple and a picture of the Glee Club at last year's Sectional's win was something that she had never seen before in her life. A beautifully ornate snow globe, containing absolutely nothing inside the glitter and water filled orb.

Puck rose from the bed reluctantly and followed her, so that they both stood in front of the desk, staring at the surprisingly empty snow globe. On the beautifully carved white wood of the base was a simple gold plate with four words etched onto it in loopy, swirling cursive. _A choice_. _A chance_.

"We could fill that," Rachel said softly, her voice had a dreamy, floating breathiness about it.

"We could," Puck nodded, his hand going to hers, their fingers lacing.

"Do you want to see what we'd be choosing?" Rachel pondered. "Or would you rather be surprised? Or maybe its going to show us what we _might_ fill it with. Would it be worse if it didn't come to fruition?"

Puck thought about it for a moment. The pull to stay put just where they were was incredibly strong. He knew that they could see what was going to happen if they returned. He inherently knew that it would probably be 75% horror, death and destruction. But he was curious. He looked down at her as she looked up at him with contented, deep brown eyes.

"Do you want to see?" Puck questioned back.

"I asked first," Rachel countered.

"Just a little look couldn't hurt," Puck shrugged.

Rachel smiled and brought their entwined hands up and their knuckles brushed against the glass, causing the glitter inside the globe to swirl around chaotically. They both blinked rapidly as light began to reflect off the tiny flecks of sparkling glitter. With each blink came a tiny glimpse into what they could only assume was a possibility of their future on the physical Earth.

And Puck was correct. Every other vision was full of fire, confusion, distress, pain and desperation. They saw split seconds of epic battles. Mortal enemies. Their friends' lives hanging in the balance. The very Earth's life hanging in the balance.

But for every three snapshots of terrible, there was always one that made both of their hearts race. A victory celebration. Identical smiles on the faces of their comrades. A stolen kiss. Frequent, intense moments of passion were scattered throughout, causing Rachel to blush and Puck to smirk knowingly as they stood there blinking at the snow globe.

A future. They both could see it. A future filled with adversity but also a few triumphs. And a warmth, a heat, an all consuming blanket of comfort, passion and love. Years and years of walking hand in hand. It was all there. It could all be theirs. They just had to reach out and grab it, hold tight and never ever let go.

Rachel gasped as one blink took her a little too far, showing her something that made a rushing warmth flow through her entire body. She didn't want to see that if there was the slightest chance in the world that she and Puck couldn't have it. She pulled their hands away, causing the glitter to suspend their movement completely, stuck still inside the snow globe. She smiled guiltily up at Puck and he furrowed his brow in questioning.

"What did you just see?" he wondered. "I saw us sexing it up LOADS."

"Noah!" Rachel gasped, shoving at his shoulder with her free hand. "It wasn't that."

"Did you see us getting married? My mom was crying and praising God," Puck smirked.

"No…I didn't," Rachel shook her head, her cheeks flushing. She managed to smile at him widely and tell him with extreme confidence, "We have to go back now."

"Okay," Puck nodded. He wouldn't want to miss out on one single moment of what they saw. "What if it's a trick? What if that's what _might_ happen? What if you die before I get a chance to properly defile you?"

"There isn't a word that has been invented yet to describe your depravity," Rachel promised.

"I'm serious though. You can't die ever," Puck said solemnly. "Promise."

"I'll do my best," Rachel promised. She could tell he was about to argue so she squinted her eyes up at him warningly. "When has my best NEVER been good enough?"

"All right. I'm sold then," Puck said easily. He was eager to get back so that they could find a way to get jumpstarted on the eagerly anticipated defiling. He looked around curiously and wondered, "How do we get back?"

Rachel remained silent and tugged on his hand, leading him back to the bed slowly. Puck chuckled and looked up at the ceiling before muttering, "I owe you big dude, for the righteous score."

Rachel yanked on his hand as hard as she could until they were both sitting on the bed once more. She leaned into him and whispered, "Please don't say anything wildly uncouth right now so that you would spoil the moment."

"Can I play funky sexy movie music in my head?" Puck whispered back at her. She slapped his arm and he gaped at her, "Sparky, I'm _dying_ here and you can't even acknowledge that I just said _sexy movie_ instead of PORNO?"

"Shut up, Noah," Rachel ordered.

"Make me?" Puck asked hopefully. "You know what always wakes up the princess in the movies, Sparky."

"I know," Rachel blushed redder.

"You _have _to make out with me now," Puck advised.

"I KNOW!" Rachel rolled her eyes.

Puck closed his eyes and obnoxiously puckered his mouth at her, causing her to giggle. He peeked one eye open at her and his mouth broke into a smirk. "Knock my socks off, darlin'"

Rachel licked her lips before slowly moving her head towards Puck's, her own eyes slowly going closed as he met her half way, their lips colliding softly as they felt a familiar tugging at their insides.

They didn't break their kiss as they felt themselves move back into the physical world, instead it only intensified, Puck was happy to find that in any situation, Rachel was a grade A kisser. She never ever did anything halfway after all. He wasn't surprised then to feel her tongue swipe at his lower lip before delving into his mouth and attacking his own with fervor. He pulled her towards him, realizing that he had been sprawled on his aching back as she was draped over his body.

He was sure they were still in their own little plane of existence, because time seriously seemed to slow. Or stop existing. Or both at the same time as one little kiss to wake them the hell up turned into a full on makeout session. He felt a curious pushing on his back and turned his body slightly, the sound of metal dropping onto the sopping wet carpet below stopping Rachel in her tracks.

The pink light subsided from both Tina and Rachel, and the rest of the Gleek's opened their eyes again, greeted with the sight of Rachel and Puck in mid lip-lock.

"Oh my God, you horny little Jews!" Santana scoffed. "You were supposed to heal him Berry, not dry hump him back to the living."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Time space continuum's are a tricky little thing, I think.

Much love to you fabulous people who have turned something that I loved to do anyway into something that seriously gives me so much amusement and a generally amazingly awesome people! Talk to you tomorrow, when you will get

Chapter 13 - "Trouble he will find Glee, no matter where they go, oh oh."


	13. Chapter 13

Happy Sunday to everyone! Sorry for everyone that has to go back to work/school tomorrow (Me too). As always thank you so much for your crazy responses to the story. I love it. This chapter is a little short, but that's going to happen from time to time. In my opinion its short and has a moment of adorability that I'm totes mcGotes in love with.

The chapter title is taken from a Lenka song "Trouble is a Friend". Go and download that CD right now! I love her song "The Show" and want it to be a Rachel Berry Glee number so bad it hurts me inside. Enjoy!

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 13 - "Trouble He Will Find Glee, No Matter Where They Go, Oh Oh."_

_

* * *

Most people believe that the most powerful thing that one person can give another person is love. This is correct. But coming in at a ridiculously close second is trust. These two usually walk hand in hand. When trust is taken away or misused, love is sure to break or spoil. _

_Once upon a time, there was a young man who trusted and loved with every fiber of his being. He was foolish in his quest for love and paid a heavy price. He is still paying and seeking his revenge to this very day._

* * *

"Becky, I'm going to need blackout darkness in five, four, three, two…"

Bieste readied herself as Sue commanded her little soldier through her cell phone. Figgins had called them moments ago, assuring them that help was on the way and to proceed with rescue efforts in fifteen minutes. They had watched the black SUV's outside of the pizza shop for fourteen minutes exactly before readying themselves with their emergency breakdown supplies in the back of Bieste's Chevy Suburban. Riot gear, bullet proof everything, flame retardant everything and then some.

It was all gear the community had thought they would need to deal with a potential teenaged super power melt down. They never really thought they would have to use it to rescue those kids from the clutches of a greedy government. That had been their job, after all, to keep those kids safe and apart from a government who would only see thirteen highly potent super weapons.

Obviously they had failed. They had no fear of being reprimanded by their employers though. They had been prepared to take on people who could light themselves on fire, control water, fly, see the future, have super strength, create force fields, have a control over the actions of animals, heal themselves, and the brains behind the operation. Every other kid was just supposed to get a variation. Kurt had thrown them for a slight loop with his control over machines. Mercedes Jones was the exception that they had not been prepared for. How they could have prepared for having their very vision taken over was not their concern. If the community had known what Mercedes could do, they would have had specific training and an anti-vision procedure in place for at least a century.

"Bomb," Bieste whispered as she peered into the binoculars at the pizza parlor their kids were holed up in. "The matchstick's taking care of it. Santana too."

"They should stop showing off, it's only going to make those black ops guys want them more," Sue grumbled. She peered around the perimeter and felt her throat constrict ever so slightly. "Sniper…we've got a…"

Bieste followed Sue's line of sight as Sue dropped the binoculars and reached behind her back, pulling out her own sniper rifle. The gunman got _one_ shot out before Sue could, rendering him completely useless.

"We've got to go in now! Dammit it, Figgins, where is our backup!" Sue hissed.

Bieste gave a cursory nod, unable to keep those kids sitting like helpless, superpowered ducks any longer either. They began to walk forward, when a force of about twenty government agents stormed the pizza parlor, hopefully walking to their doom. Five seconds later, from the skies above, the welcome sound of rip cords zipping and parachutes filling with gusts of air whispered into the night, as the community's forces descended to save the day. To save their legacy.

Five minutes later, Sue and Bieste walked into the pizza parlor where twenty government agents were completely incapacitated on the ground, and not one kid was in sight.

Bieste's eyes trained on a puddle of blood in the middle of the floor and gave a nod to one of the community strike force leaders.

"It's…it's Puckerman's, blood, ma'am," he relayed.

"That can't be good," Sue mumbled under her breath. She gripped her cell phone next to her ear and barked into it, "Becky, give me something good, here!"

* * *

Puck and Rachel's lips eventually parted and before they could straighten themselves out, Tina collapsed into Rachel, her arms reaching around and squeezing the daylights out of her. They were joined almost instantaneously by a buoyant and giggling Brittany, who tackled all three of them back to the ground.

"Ow, ow, ow! Mother fucking Christ-on-a-shit-cracker!" Puck hissed as he felt the bruising in his back throb with pain as three girls hugged on top of him. He managed to look at Tina with respect before saying, "This healing shit hurts."

"Try taking more than one bullet," Tina rolled her eyes.

"That looks really fun," Santana muttered to no one in particular. Her lack of an impulse control when it came to tangled bodies clearly showed when she shrugged and threw herself on the pile, ignoring Puck's howl of pain.

"God DAMMIT, Satan!" Puck roared from underneath the growing pile of girls. He tried to peak through lady limbs and lady hair and caught Mike's stare. "A little help here, bro?"

Mike wiped at his cheeks quickly, hoping that the tears he had shed after seeing one of his best friends take a freaking bullet and nearly bleed to death weren't that noticeable. Then he too shrugged and jumped in, reaching for Tina and Puck at the same time, adding to the mass of limbs.

"I am _not_ group hugging on the ground," Kurt insisted, even as Finn was nudging him in the back towards the pile as the rest of the Gleeks slowly made their way to the mess of teenagers entangled on the ground.

"It looks like a PG-rated orgy," Blaine smiled as he joined Finn in nudging Kurt along.

"Oh my god. Fine. FINE," Kurt grumbled, as both Blaine and Finn pushed him down on top of an already collapsed Sam and Quinn. Even Artie was in on it, reaching down from his chair to pat and squeeze randomly.

"This _really_ fucking hurts, dude!" Puck roared from the very bottom. He felt Rachel clinging to his arm and blindly he ducked his head and planted a kiss.

"Did someone just kiss my lower back?" Sam called out, nearly in a panic.

"Brittany and Santana are touching each other in naughty places!" Mercedes squealed.

"I'm over here tickling Artie's feet!" Brittany contradicted.

"I'm trying to get side boob action on Berry before Puck can," Santana insisted.

"Then which girls are currently rubbing up on one another?" Finn asked hopefully.

"I can't move my hand!" Quinn insisted. "Sorry Tina!"

"_Totally fucking enjoyable_," Tina insisted.

"SANTANA! YOUR HAND IS ON MY-"

"Totally on your ass, Berry," Santana promised. She threw a smirk into the dense pile of human bodies, hoping Puckerman could see. "F-I-N-E, fine fine fine!"

"This is all so wrong on so many levels," Kurt grumbled. "Do anyone of you have personal boundary decorum at all? This is like group humping, not group hugging."

"I'm totally refraining from motorboating with the holy land that _is_ Mercedes," Blaine drolly asserted.

"HEY! That's rude!" Finn called out.

"Relax, dude," Sam muttered Finn's way. "He's bluffing. I've got Mercedes' tatas in my face. Kudos, Mercy."

"Thanks, I think?" Mercedes giggled.

"SANTANA! Kindly remove your hand from my-"

"Berry, shut up and just go with it," Santana rolled her eyes. "It's kind of a thing I have with Puckerman where I defile his ladies before he can."

"I'm totally lighting you on fire when I get unburied from all of these people, you frigid bitch," Puck promised.

"Oh please, _matchstick_, and when I say _matchstick_, I don't mean the fact that you're a little ball of fire. I mean the size of your-"

"I'd beg to differ on that assessment," Tina squeaked out.

"DUDE! Get your junk outta my girl's face!" Mike yelled.

"I would if you would all stop writhing on top of me like the world's largest, strangest orgy!" Puck yelled back.

Over the laughter, the complaining and the inadvertent and intentional groping, they all heard a polite clearing of the throat. One by one, thirteen heads poked upwards, rolling off of Puck and the pile as best they could before looking to the door of Rachel's bedroom curiously, each of their faces totally blank as they saw Will Schuester standing there with a bemused smile on his face.

"Guys?" Will raised his eyebrows in amused wonderment. "I think you have a lot of explaining to do."

* * *

Questions? Thoughts? Theories?

So short. But important I think. 12 teenagers writing on the ground with one another while Artie randomly touches body parts from the safety of his chair? _totally important._ And enjoyable. So. Schue's in Berry's bedroom witnessing it all. pedoWill. Will he jump onto the pile next? In the next chapter...

Chapter 14 – "With a Taste of the Truth, I'm on a Ride"


	14. Chapter 14

Hooray! Monday is d-u-n. Dun. Now, as I edit tonight's Misfits and write tomorrow's Misfits, I am faced with a dilemna. Watch Glee Season 1? Or watch Haruhi Suzumya. The choices...the choices. Or oh no...the Colin Firth version of Pride and Prejudice. I am faced, friends, with an abundance of riches.

I'm glad everyone enjoyed last chapter. Now on with the show, the lyrics are taken from Brittany S. Pierce's "Toxic", of course.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 14 – "With a Taste of the Truth, I'm on a Ride"_

_

* * *

When something is broken in half, it is exceptionally difficult for that something to function properly. This rule applies to a whole host of objects and intangible things: Bicycle wheels, garden hoses, clavicles, pencils, hearts, butter knives, candy canes, trust. The list could really go on, literally for decades. A team, a unit, cannot function if it is split into two factions._

_Even the slightest hairline fracture can be manipulated by your adversary for the maximum amount of pain._

* * *

"Mr. Schuester?" Rachel furrowed her brow as the group attempted to right themselves and stand. She found it impossible to stand as Puck gripped her waist and joined her in staring at the teacher. "Why are you in my house?"

"It's a little pervy, Shue, I'm not gonna lie," Santana said bluntly. "And believe me when I say, I know pervy. Ask Rachel's recently fondled ass."

"I was worried. You've all been expelled for extreme violence at school," Will said with a sternness that only a teacher could bring to the table. After a year and a half, he was well rehearsed in ignoring Santana's penchant for saying the wildly inappropriate. "My entire club is _expelled_. I got Rachel's address from Miss Pillsbury."

"Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell," Brittany reminded him helpfully, looking at Artie curiously as he swiftly poked her in her side. She reached out and poked him back and raised an amused bow. "Are we having a tickle war now? I'm really good at finding ticklish spots."

"Right, Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell," Will nodded sheepishly. "I thought I could come here and get the real story from Rachel. Maybe talk to one of her dads about the correct course of action to get you re-admitted into school."

"My fathers aren't attornieys," Rachel furrowed her brow. "We do have a considerable connection to the ACLU, but really, Mr. Schuester, I'm beginning to understand that our punishment fits our crime and that we shouldn't be attending McKinley High any longer."

All thirteen of them firmly agreed with Rachel's assessment. They all knew that if it wasn't their own abilities causing damage to potentially innocent McKinley students, it would be the government coming in like gangbusters. The safest place they could think of at that very moment was in their underground dormitory with Burt Hummel. Maybe Bieste on occasion.

"What could be so terrible about protecting each other? I spent a year and a half hoping you'd all become friends," Will admitted earnestly.

"We're more than friends now," Quinn said softly, almost as if it were meant for the ears of her twelve teammates.

"We're family!" Brittany grinned. She high-fived Tina and giggled, "Tina and I are cousins!"

"Really? Uhm…what?" Will furrowed his brow.

"They spent a few too many hours on this past weekend," Sam quickly said, taking a moment to share an eye roll with an exasperated Quinn.

"Yeah, it turns out a few of us are totally related to Abraham Lincoln," Blaine added helpfully. "And by extension, Shaquille O'Neal."

"I've decided to start calling him Uncle Shaq," Finn nodded. "He and I have the same three-point shot anyway."

"How did you get in to Rachel's house?" Puck demanded, still sitting on the ground with Rachel practically sitting on his lap as they blocked the few of the bloodied carpet that Puck and Rachel had been lifelessly laying on minutes earlier.

"The door was unlocked, open actually. You guys must have been in a hurry to get up here," Will answered calmly.

"Yeah, well, who in the world _wouldn't_ be in a hurry to be in an orgy with twelve other grade-a hotties?" Santana scoffed.

"I mean, have you seen Mercedes' rack?" Kurt whispered to Blaine drolly, causing the boy to break into barely suppressed chuckles of laughter.

"Mr. Schuester, I'm really sorry, but Glee club _has_ to end," Rachel said sadly.

"That doesn't sound like you, Rachel," Will said softly, staring at the girl who Puck was _still_ clinging to as if she were his favorite stuffed animal or security blanket. He studied her face carefully, knowing that the reason had to be huge and life changing if Rachel were readily giving up Glee. The girl barely let go of anything. But in the past few days she had seemingly let go of Finn, if Puck's possessive hands were any indication, as well as a shot at fame with Glee.

"We're all just-its what we have to do," Mercedes insisted.

"I think you're all jumping the gun here. I think that because Coach Sylvester and Coach Bieste gave up on your school career at McKinley, you're willing to as well," Will asserted. "I'm not giving up on you guys. I refuse."

"Mr. Schue?" Finn questioned suddenly. He took a step towards the man he had considered his mentor and only male role model for the last year and a half. He shrugged sheepishly and asked, "Could you maybe not make this harder than it already is?"

Will remained silent as he considered Finn's request. He took a look at each of the Gleek's, all twelve of them and Blaine not standing more than a few inches from the other, a wall of solidarity and unity. He smiled sadly at them, thinking of how far they had come in such a short time. A few weeks ago at Sectionals they couldn't stand the sight of one another. Now they stood shoulder to shoulder, completely unified. He couldn't help but wonder what it would take to break that unity.

He focused on Artie as the young man's body began to convulse slightly. Sam and Quinn stood protectively in front of him, blocking him from view while Brittany bent her head to listen to a few grumbled, unidentifiable words from Artie. Brittany spared a glance Rachel's way, definitely communicating with her, but not saying a word.

_Rach, Artie says we have like, a few minutes before the government guys get here._

"Mr. Schuester, it's highly inappropriate for you to be here," Rachel insisted strongly. "You are here in a former student's house with absolutely no parental supervision. I think it would be wise for you to leave unless you wanted an unfortunate scandal on your hands."

"And be like, at least three blocks away in the next five minutes," Brittany clarified helpfully.

Suddenly Finn was pressing his shoulder with a hand, forcing him from the room with a strength that Will couldn't quite register at the moment. He found that soon the door was closed behind him and there was a lot of hushed movement inside Rachel's bedroom. He closed his eyes and waited until the rustling and quiet steps inside the room died down a bit, indicating that they were in the position they wanted. He took a deep breath before quietly opening the door and seeing that all of their backs were turned as they joined hands tightly. He stepped into the room quietly and just as Rachel and Blaine closed their eyes tightly in combined concentration, he reached out a hand and placed it on the handle of Artie's wheelchair.

* * *

"KURT?" Burt called out, rushing into the lobby of the underground dorm as a howl of wind had broken him out of his obsessive monitoring of the community's radio frequency, anxious to hear any news about his kids. He held a hand to his heart and let relieved tears escape the corner of his eyes as he saw all thirteen of them standing in front of him. Kurt broke away from Blaine and Finn's grip as he went to tackle hug his Dad. Finn was quick to follow, although surprisingly careful not to crush Burt and Kurt's ribs with any excess of strength in his hug.

"I think its too soon for another group floor session," Tina arched a deviant eyebrow at a blushing Quinn.

"It's never too soon for more groping, right Berry-licious?" Santana purred.

"Guys?" Burt furrowed his brow as he hugged his son tight to him. His eyes narrowed as he looked behind the group of children, to the man holding on to Artie's chair steadfastly. "Will, what-how did you…"

"Mr. Schuester?" Rachel gasped, following Burt's glare. "What on Earth are you doing?"

"I tagged along," Will whispered, his lips suddenly dry, his eyes slightly watery from the windy trip that he had unwittingly set out on. "I—I didn't know. What is going on here? How did you all make it from-how did WE all make it from Rachel's room to-I'm so lost right now."

The muted sound of gun fire made all of the kids jump in their place. Quinn gripped Sam's hand so that his feet would meet the ground again. They turned to the entryway of the dormitories and saw Shannon Bieste standing with a tranquilizer gun. She surveyed each of the kids and sighed in relief before looking at Will Schuester suspiciously.

"What did you do to Mr. Schue?" Finn wondered.

"Incapacitated him. He'll be out for the next twelve hours," Coach Bieste reported. "By that time, we can have someone from the community come in and we can make sure that he doesn't remember his little trip."

"Coach Bieste we really tried to make sure he didn't know anything," Mike promised. "All of us told him that we were okay with the expulsion and stuff. We didn't want him involved."

"We were trying to get him out of Rachel's house before the government came to take us again," Artie swore. He shrugged and said, "He grabbed onto my chair and zipped back here with us."

"I believe you kids," Bieste nodded, allowing some measure of comfort to cross their faces. "However, walking out of the school earlier today caused major damage."

"We know," Rachel whispered, squeezing Puck's hand.

"I don't think you do," Bieste shook her head. "Coach Sylvester, Mr. Hummel and I are all on probation. One more screw-up, and we're out. And you'll be left to the strangers of the community. Sue is on her way back to headquarters now so that we can avoid another disaster as a result of one of Mercedes' hallucinations. I just don't understand why you'd put us all through this. We were trying to make this easy on you guys. To give you a sense of familiarity. Of _home_."

"We're sorry. We panicked," Tina whispered.

"It's past the point of sorry," Burt rubbed at his eyes. He sighed and said, "We're all going to have to toe the company line here, kids. I refuse to leave you. But there's nothing I can do if I'm deemed unfit to protect you."

"I'm trying to tell you this before Sue comes back and can light into you," Bieste interjected. "We really care about you kids. Not just for what you can do, but for who you are. Please don't disappoint us again."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I'll see you all tomorrow with a new chapter. Now that the kids understand that they need to stay put and follow orders, how long do you think it will take for them to misbehave again? We'll see in...

Chapter Fifteen – "It Just Takes Some Time, Little Gleeks, You're in the Middle"


	15. Chapter 15

I know the exact moment that I won't be able to post a chapter a day. The day newGlee comes back to my TV, or until everyone dies in this story. Whichevs. I love everyone who reads this story, even those that don't email or reply and just snark on my behind their computer. Because hahah suckers, you clicked and wasted a few seconds in snickering about my crazy. I stole seconds from your life! It's what keeps me young.

Happy Tuesday and happy it's almost Super Bowl time (I'm not super invested in this post-season. As long as the Eagles lose, I'm good. Sorry Iggles fans.)

Okay, here's the latest chapter, the title of which comes from my favoritest band in the world, Jimmy Eat World, "The Middle". Love and Glee, peeps.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 15 – "It Just Takes Some Time, Little Gleeks, You're in the Middle"_

_

* * *

Glass will break and shatter with the smallest crack. Skin will bleed and fester with the tiniest scratch. A Blu-Ray DVD is completely useless if an infinitely small speck of dust is stuck on its shiny surface. Thirteen young people cannot compete with a greater, older, wiser force that is trying to force them apart. Especially when the glue holding them together is a combination of intensely dangerous situations, a lunar eclipse on the winter solstice, and one small brunette who heretofore had primarily thought only of herself._

_On closer inspection however, the opposition may not stand a chance. _

* * *

"Are we grounded?" Puck wondered curiously, as the sliding door whirred closed behind him. He smirked lazily down at Rachel, who couldn't help her own bemused smile back at him. "Because I think Burt seriously just put us on time-out. Which you know, I _totally_ don't mind."

"Really?" Rachel bit her bottom lip to contain her sudden giggles.

"Nope. I have a pretty awesome roommate," Puck nodded assuredly. "I don't mind putting quality time in with the roommate."

"What qualifies as quality time?" Rachel wondered, her manner decidedly flirty as Puck reached out and grabbed her by her waist, hoisting her body to press against his as he pressed his back into the cool steel of their sliding door. "Yoga?"

"Nope," Puck shook his head. He cocked his head to the side, remembering his month of watching Rachel do yoga in their vacation-coma. He reconsidered and said, "I wouldn't mind a little stretching and arching, though."

"Vocal warm-ups, then certainly," Rachel joked.

"We're not in Glee club anymore, we don't need those," Puck scoffed.

"NOAH! My voice is a spectacularly tuned instrument, whether I'm a part of a Glee club or not does not dictate whether I should practice every day!" Rachel furrowed her brow angrily, before he poked her side and laughed at how easily he could wind her up.

"Sparky, you'll need your voice. I know that. I just want to hear you do different things with it now," Puck waggled his left brow upwards.

"Nooooaaah," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Bulls eye," Puck murmured as he gripped her hips and pulled her closer still, dipping his head until his lips covered her own. She didn't respond like she usually did, which would have been fucking immediately, so he pulled back and looked at her curiously. "Do I have almost dead guy breath?"

"Your breath is fantastic, as always," Rachel assured him. "We're going to have company in about five seconds."

"Hey, that's breaking the rules," Puck definitely pouted.

Rachel rolled her eyes and pulled away from him with slight reluctance. Blaine zipped into the room with Tina and Kurt before zipping back out for more, as Mike squeezed his body through the one inch space below Puck and Rachel's door. Puck jumped as his liquefied friend solidified before his eyes and returned to normal shape. The mohawked young man reached out a hand to slap the side of Mike's head, but the boy simply jellified his neck and avoided any physical altercation. He quickly rushed to safety behind his un-killable girlfriend as Blaine zipped in Artie, Brittany and Santana and zipped back out.

"Son of a bitch," Puck hissed. "Do you not understand what grounded means?"

"He probably thinks it means sexy times with Berry," Santana rolled her eyes as she flopped onto Rachel's bed. She patted a space right next to her and said, "Come keep me company Sparkplug."

_Don't even think about that, Sparky._

Rachel arched one perfectly manicured brow and let Puck know just how little she enjoyed him telling her what to do by doing the exact opposite of what he wanted her to do. She flopped onto the bed, very, very close to Santana, and was soon sandwiched in by Brittany as well. She may have immediately regretted it as Brittany threw an arm around her midsection, squeezing indiscriminately and Santana began petting Rachel's hair possessively. She tried not to let her mind stray to how inappropriate it all was because Puck was certainly tuned in as he watched with unguarded interest.

_Don't be jealous, Noah. It's unbecoming_.

Puck let his face become incredulous for one second before he focused on Santana's hands, which moved from petting Rachel's silky locks to caressing her face, her thumb rubbing Rachel's pouty lower lip that just a minute ago had been pressed up against his. He literally bit down on his own tongue to keep himself in check before tossing a telepathic taunt Rachel's way.

_Not jealous. At. All. Can we get rid of everyone else and see where this goes?_

Rachel bolted upright on the bed, Brittany's hands still clinging to her midsection, Santana's hands going for her lower back. She looked around as Blaine zipped in the rest of their team and forced a smile.

"Are we sure this isn't breaking the rules?" Quinn wondered.

"Mercedes didn't do anything," Blaine shrugged. "I did the zipping. And Mike did the…oozing."

"We're grounded, but I'm sure Dad knows that he can't keep me from a good sleepover," Kurt insisted. "Right before he left my room tonight he said _Try not to get into any more trouble_. Not _Don't go have a big group pow-wow in Rachel and Puck's room_."

"We're not going to zip out of the facility," Sam agreed. "I think we all just needed to talk."

"Yeah, number one…what the hell is going on with Schuester?" Puck demanded, looking around at the perplexed faces of his teammates.

"He was worried about us," Quinn said with a small amount of defensiveness. "He's always only cared about our well-being."

"Bull shit. He's always only cared about having twelve members on the squad," Puck countered.

"Come on man, you're being a little harsh," Finn interrupted.

"Is he?" Rachel questioned. "The fact that Mr. Schue came back into my room after we all asked him to leave…"

"It's _creepy_," Santana insisted strongly.

"It's super creepy," Tina agreed. "How'd he know to hold on to Artie's wheelchair? I mean, what if he's like-"

"Go on, Tina," Rachel urged her friend, seeing that she was afraid to voice her opinion as the Glee club seemed split down the middle regarding Will Schuester's intentions.

"What if he's a part of the government?" Sam wondered aloud, completing Tina's suspicions and earning a smile from the girl. "I mean…if we're going to go by the rules assigned to certain mythologies and genres we've fallen into lately…"

"Nerd," Mike coughed.

"Seriously, look at the people in our lives. Our parents were in on it. Sylvester and Bieste and Figgins are in on it," Sam persisted anyway, throwing an eye crinkle Mike's way. "And they're all a part of this mysterious _community_ we keep hearing about but don't really know anything about."

"It makes sense that someone else would be on the other side," Rachel nodded. "Someone in our lives…who we had trusted with so much…"

"Guys, I'm not buying this. At. All," Mercedes shook her head and waved her hand dismissively. "Mr. Schue cares about us. He obviously saw that something was up with the way we acted today and he was concerned. That's all."

"I'm with Mercedes," Quinn nodded.

"Me too," Finn agreed.

"Why don't we not agree on anything until we know more?" Brittany wondered as she poked at Rachel's midsection indiscriminately, clearly more interested in finding Rachel's ticklish spots than with worrying about Mr. Schue. "Besides, Rachel can go into the holding cell they're keeping him in and read his mind, right?"

"Brilliant Brittany in the hi-zouse," Artie fist pumped proudly. "That's my girl."

"That's _our_ girl," Santana narrowed her eyes at Artie.

Rachel's eyes practically bugged out of her head as she caught a mental image that was just this side of slightly too provocative and she nodded looking to Puck, who _definitely_ saw what she saw. He winked at her and she rolled her eyes in return. "I take it everyone plans on bunking here tonight?"

"We brought sleeping bags!" Tina said joyfully.

"I'm SO glad!" Rachel turned and practically sneered at a suddenly disgruntled and pouting Puck. "I could really use the company."

"And we can totally zip two bags together and snuggle with Brittany," Santana pulled Rachel back down on the bed, causing Puck's foul mood to disappear completely once again.

* * *

At 6:30 am, Rachel's eyes zipped open and she turned slowly on Puck's bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping and super handsy Santana, who had somehow managed to spoon with Rachel even as Puck did the same. Puck's eyes slowly blinked open to face an anxious Rachel. He yawned and surprised her by placing a sloppy kiss on the corner of her mouth and then tightened his grip, inadvertently bringing Santana even closer to them both.

"I don't wanna move yet," Puck complained, his voice low and raspy. He sighed when Rachel didn't move her insistent stare from his face and blinked away the sleep that didn't want to end just yet. "Fine, fine. We'll go see Schue and you can go mind rape him."

"Kurt," Rachel whispered towards the other bed, where Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes and Finn had all managed to fit. She smiled softly and shared a look with a now awake Santana as they both saw Blaine's hand resting snuggly on Kurt's hip as they shared a pillow. Finn's head again had found the most comfortable pillow in the world, and Mercedes didn't seem to mind as she slept soundly with a wide smile on her face.

"Kurt, Rachel wants you," Blaine murmured sleepily, his hand patting Kurt's hip lightly before stilling again as he tried to fall back to sleep.

Kurt's eyes opened and he looked around the room sleepily before he registered that someone's hand was placed on his hip and his eyes darted back and forth suspiciously before seeing that it was Blaine. His eyes widened into saucers and he looked at a smiling Rachel, a lewdly winking Santana and a clearly bored Puck.

"I'm sorry, what now?" he whispered at them.

"You're going to have to wake Blaine back up. Your dad is up and he's going to be checking in on your room in ten minutes," Rachel reported. "His thoughts actually woke me. Something along the lines of, Kurt had better be in his room, _alone_, or else."

"Blaine, Blaine, BLAINE!" Kurt turned in the bed and shook the boy's shoulders obnoxiously. "Get me back to my room before my Dad takes us all on the world's largest guilt trip."

"Come back and retrieve me, please!" Rachel smiled as Blaine lazily rose, disturbing a previously blissful Finn.

The rest of the Gleek's woke up when Kurt and Blaine zipped from the room. Rachel expected Blaine to be right back, but the minutes passed as the rest of the team began to get up and start packing up pillows and sleeping bags. Rachel looked at Puck questioningly when Blaine _still_ hadn't zipped back and he could only shrug at her.

She didn't want to interrupt any private moments, so she steadfastly tried to block both Kurt's and Blaine's emotions, but was finding it exceedingly difficult when they were both suddenly so incredibly happy and…yes. Really very happy. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut and did her best not to intrude on anything when she gave the warning.

_Guys, Mr. Hummel is three steps away from Kurt's door_.

Blaine zipped back into Rachel and Puck's room seconds later, and couldn't wipe the huge grin from his face. He shrugged at Rachel and began zipping everyone out of the room, until only Santana was left with Rachel and Puck. Blaine came back and Rachel put a hand on Blaine's shoulder before he could transport Santana back to her room.

"Blaine..can you take us to see Mr. Schue?" Rachel wondered.

"Sure…but isn't he sort of unconscious until Coach Sylvester gets back with some mind voodoo people?" Blaine wondered.

"He doesn't need to be awake for what I need to do," Rachel insisted.

"Wanky," Santana nodded in agreement with herself.

"Does Pervy McPerverson-iguez have to accompany us?" Blaine wondered.

"I'd like to try something with her," Rachel nodded.

"Super wanky," Puck was the one to comment this time, dodging when Rachel swatted at his arm.

"Super-de-duper-fucking wanky," Santana waggled her eyebrows as she wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist, who in turn gripped Blaine's arm. Puck swatted at Santana's arm so _he _could grip Rachel's waist, but she wasn't budging, so he placed his hands on her shoulders instead.

In a blink of an eye, they were standing in a small, stainless steel nurse's office, and Will Schuester was tied down on a lonely sanitary cot. Before anyone could say anything about how very sad it all looked, Rachel reached out her hand that was not currently entangled in Blaine's arm and placed it on her Glee director's shoulder. She instinctively zeroed in on where Mr. Schuester's thoughts would be, taking Puck along for the ride, and hopefully she had Santana and Blaine as well.

She furrowed her brow and pulled back suddenly, looking to an aroused Santana, a shocked Blaine, and an equally as confused Puck.

"Sparky, are you losing your touch…or is there NOTHING in his mind?" Puck asked. "There wasn't a thing in there…"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Surprise! Klaine, ya'll. We'll see more of their moments. Sorry anti-Klaines (Why would you be, they are more adorable than a cupcake!). Thanks as always for reading.

Chapter 16 – "Take My Hand, Live While You Can, If We Fight Now, We Will Divide and Conquer this Land"


	16. Chapter 16

I love everybody and everything. Also, all of you lovely people who read this. You guys get to go to the special afterlife where there is nothing but soda fountains and everyone gets a Mark Salling of their very own. But no pinkdrama, you can't have two chapters a day. You have my eternal devotion and adoration though.

So, this chapter title is taken from Vanessa Carlton's "Ordinary Day", except way back when I downloaded this on _some kind of music thing_, and it was called Divide and Conquer. I like that version better.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 16 – "Take My Hand, Live While You Can, If We Fight Now, We Will Divide and Conquer this Land"_

_

* * *

The afterlife is a funny thing, if you can get to it. There are choices, of course. The better a person you are on Earth, the more choices you have. Reincarnation is a popular choice, with 97% of the dearly departed souls choosing it every single time they kick the bucket in their first life. So many souls chose reincarnation that there is a bit of a line, and there are those few instances where the paperwork is fouled up, causing a delay. And if you want to make it a joint trip, the wait is extended. If you want to make it a joint trip on the same continent, forget about getting back any time soon. If you're finicky enough with the powers that be, it could take a couple hundred years to get back to Earth in a human body._

_The deluxe joint trip is only rewarded to those few souls who have been truly selfless on their previous trip. Two souls decided they wanted to try again and go for the big bang deluxe. They had the opportunity to live another full lifetime the right way, with no pesky supernaturally anointed powers, no burdens related to said supernatural powers, and an obstacle free path to Earth bound true love._

_It would do a few people to wonder if the reincarnation department of the hereafter offers refunds or store credits._

* * *

"What do you mean nothing?" Santana hissed. "What did you just do to us all?"

Rachel's eyes darted to the doorway and whispered, "Coach Bieste."

Blaine zipped them out immediately, right back into Rachel's room. Rachel and Puck were staring at each other intently, trying to work things out silently. Santana huffed and crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for the whole eyes speaking volumes thing to end. Blaine was not so patient however and held a hand in the air as if he were asking a question.

"What did you do with me and Santana in front of Mr. Schuester?" he wondered. "It felt kind of good. In a bad way."

"Turned me on, but hey, who are we kidding?" Santana smirked at Blaine while Puck and Rachel finished up their wordless conversation.

"I'm new to the group, but I've deduced that it doesn't take much," Blaine nodded.

"We need to know more," Rachel spoke suddenly.

"About…meta-physics?" Blaine offered.

"Acrobatic sexual positions?" Santana supplied helpfully.

"Both?" Blaine ventured.

"About us. About where these powers come from," Rachel's eyes darted between all of her friends with a definite measure of desperation. "We can't protect each other from the enemies if we don't really know what the enemy wants. We can't even identify who is an enemy and who isn't."

"His mind was pretty blank, Sparky," Puck asserted. "I mean…really blank. I'm no expert on the whole mind trip thing, but that was seriously just a big blank spot. I thought he'd at least have a medley of Journey's greatest hits or something."

"Or the six times he touched my boobs on constant spank bank rotation," Santana shrugged.

"Mr. Schuester touched your breasts six times?" Blaine was shocked.

"They were _accidents, _but he's a super perv underneath all of those sweater vests," Santana shrugged. "So we need to know if Schue's a big bad, right?"

"Or a little bad even, that'd be good to know," Blaine added.

"I vote he's super evil," Puck shrugged. Rachel looked at him questioningly and he shrugged in response. "Something is just off. And come on, that blank nothing rolling around in his head was seriously skeevy."

"Well, we can't rush to snap judgments," Rachel insisted. "Quite a few members of our team still trust Mr. Schue implicitly. I fear that coming to them with mere suspicions would only cause us to bicker needlessly. Ideally we should have a whole host of evidence to present to the club."

"Sure, sure, that translates into doing super spy work, right?" Santana wondered. "I'll get Brittany and Artie in on it."

"Excellent," Rachel nodded. She smiled and Blaine and wondered, "Blaine, could you speak with Kurt? I feel that we'll need him on board."

"Sure," Blaine smiled softly, getting a lovely, dreamy hazy look on his face.

Puck actually chuckled and pushed Blaine on the shoulder. "Go on studly, recruit away."

Blaine rolled his eyes at Puck before waving and zipping out. Puck began to glare at Santana openly, causing her smirk to only grow wider. Rachel was oblivious as she mentally checked in with the other Gleek's, making sure they were safely in their rooms and not in trouble for their impromptu sleepover. Puck jerked his head in the direction of the door, indicating that Santana should _get the fuck out of there_ so that he and Rachel could go back to cuddling. _Alone._

"Berry, weren't you saying something about yoga?" Santana said wickedly, ignoring Puck's threats of death by asphyxiation behind Rachel's back. She rolled her eyes when he held up a fire ball, and made motions of throwing it at her face. "We should totally gather Mike and Tina and head to the gym. We'll earn brownie points with Bieste for being all proactive and shit."

"That sounds like a lovely idea, Santana," Rachel grinned. She turned to Puck, who quickly extinguished the flames that he had been using to threaten Santana's life. "Noah, I'm going to use our bathroom to change. Please feel free to not peek on me and also change so that we can go together."

Rachel bounced away leaving a miserable Puck and a gleeful Santana behind. Puck reignited his hands and threw a fire ball at Santana's hair. She quickly pulled the water from the glass on Rachel's bedside table and extinguished the fire, splashing a little of the freezing cold water on Puck's face.

"Cold showers, Puckerman. Get used to it."

* * *

"Good morning, Dad!" Kurt said brightly as he sat at the vanity, carefully going through his meticulous morning skin routine.

"Hey kiddo," Burt smiled as he sat down on the edge of Kurt's perfectly made bed. "So, how was the sleepover?"

"I'm sorry?" Kurt attempted to look innocent but only managed surprised and slightly wary. He sighed and couldn't help the guilty smile. "It was innocent and harmless, I promise. No crazy plotting, nor intentions of trying to escape or embarrass you or get you into trouble with your community people. Promise."

"I believe you," Burt smiled back at his son. His face got serious though and he said, "It's natural that you kids should want to be around each other. I mean, when we were preparing for this, we sort of realized that the powers…well, they'd want to come together. Sleepovers are okay, but just to warn you, I'm pretty sure Sue will break out in hives if you guys are all happy, sunny Partridge Family. No group song numbers."

"How did they figure that out?" Kurt wondered. He felt a slight intrusion into his thoughts and gave mental permission for Rachel to eavesdrop. "You know, that we'd be drawn to one another."

"Well, it's centered around Rachel. We knew that those that inherited the powers would be drawn to her, want to be close to her," Burt admitted.

"And this is all stuff you guys figured out because of the people in the past?" Kurt questioned.

"I _knew_ Santana stole that book," Burt chuckled. "You know, all of your questions have answers. And people to answer them. You guys just insist on going about everything all backwards. All you have to do is ask."

Kurt thought carefully over the most important question that he could possibly think of, "What kind of danger are we in? The government?"

"You're all powerful together. The community knows that. But the government doesn't. They've been misinformed. They think they can pick and choose from whoever is captured in one piece and use you as their little superweapons," Burt said honestly.

"And…is there more danger?" Kurt asked, knowing that it was Rachel asking the question coming out of his mouth. "There's someone out there…"

"Boy, Brittany really does understand everything," Burt raised his eyebrows in astonishment. "So, yeah. There is a guy out there, somewhere. He was a member of the original nine. The one who couldn't die. He could get hurt plenty. He did get hurt plenty. But just like Tina, everything would just get better."

"Tina always hurts, though," Kurt whispered. "I mean, the girl barely stuttered ten curse words her entire life, and now every time she gets so much as a paper cut, she's like the reincarnated Asian Sam Kinison."

"There's not much research on the Immortal," Burt admitted. "For a guy whose lived longer than all the other original heroes, he's managed to make himself pretty off the map. But I would imagine that like Tina, he felt pain more, just because there was so much more pain. Most people get to die if they fall from a cliff and not feel the pain."

"Yeah, that would really suck," Kurt nodded. "But…is he a danger to us? I mean, I think he'd want to drop by and say hi. See his great grand people and whatnot."

"He's not exactly a fan of the community," Burt admitted. "It all goes back to the fact that Fire and the Mind founded the community. He had a big time beef with Fire."

"Loving the nicknames by the way," Kurt smiled. "Very mystical, very beautiful in their simplicity."

"They were a necessity. The names were burned to the ground to protect the legacy. To protect you kids," Burt revealed.

"So what did Fire do?" Kurt nearly whispered.

"He stole the Mind," Burt revealed. "And you know, it's like they say, all wars start because of a beautiful woman? Well, this one is definitely true."

"Kurt!" Blaine zipped into the room and his eyebrows shot up into his hairline at the sight of Burt Hummel in the room. "Oh, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…sorry. I'm interrupting. I'll zip…"

"Nah, its okay," Burt insisted, standing. "I'm sure you guys have a lot to talk about."

Burt headed for the door and Blaine could only smile slightly at Kurt. Burt stopped in his tracks behind Blaine and looked him up and down. He caught Kurt's eye and angled his head Blaine's way curiously before holding up a thumbs up sign in question. Kurt rolled his eyes at his father and waved him away before looking at Blaine curiously. The former Dalton Academy Warbler reached for his hand and enveloped it with his own.

"Rachel wants yoga group time," he announced, dragging Kurt physically from the room.

"But wait-I'm not properly dressed for physical activity…my moisturizer…"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So Burt drops a little knowledge right there. And the narrator at the beginning gets a little oddly philosophical about the afterlife. Next up, group yoga time? And a surprising new way to find out information...

Chapter Seventeen – "When the Mind Fell in Love with the Fire, All was Golden in the Sky"

Thanks as always for being superduperawesome.


	17. Chapter 17

Trust me? Also, I love my readers.

Lyric for the chapter title is taken from Panic at the Disco "When the Day Met the Night". I love Panic at the Disco, I don't care how lame that may make me.

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 17 – "When the Mind Fell in Love with the Fire, All Was Golden In The Sky"_

_

* * *

There is very little difference between time and space. There are various equations and physical theories that figure out how the two work together in getting a person older, farther away and generally unhappier. Anyone can travel through time and space, it's called living and it is firmly facing forward._

_It takes a lot of factors, skill, and help from your friends to travel through time and space backwards. It will take human physicists at least three thousand two hundred and seventy-eight years to develop this valuable and dangerous skill. If they had a short cut or two, it could have taken them no more than fifteen minutes to figure it out._

* * *

"Uhm, my booty can NOT do that! Rachel, girl, have some decency and put your legs down! Do you _see_ the way Puck is looking at you? The boy is going to overheat and light us all on fire."

Kurt giggled as he looked up from a surprisingly relaxing yoga pose to where Mercedes and Finn had arrived in the multi-purpose training room. The room seemed a lot less sinister than the last time they had been in it. It was probably due to the lack of the bomb. Also there weren't any scary, deathly booby traps to be found at the moment. Every single one of the kids, minus Brittany, were clearly enjoying their underground haven when Sue Sylvester was busy at headquarters.

"Stubbs is bored," Brittany revealed as she tore her eyes from the mainframe of her adopted pet robot. "He hasn't crushed anything in a while. I think we need to go and let him have some fun."

"There's always the monster truck rally," Sam proposed helpfully.

"We should do that!" Blaine grinned at Kurt as Rachel led the group in a simplistic, yet physically engaging yoga session.

"Uhm, trucks that crush smaller cars, loads of mud and random explosions and fire cannons. Nope, I think I'm good," Kurt laughed.

"But you could totally do machine voodoo on the cars," Blaine shrugged. "It's a shame you _can't_ control animals. We could head out to the horse tracks."

"I'm still into the whole, take Rachel to a poker table and let her clean house idea," Mike suggested.

"Guys, it's not cool to want to benefit from our super powers. It could only lead to really bad things, believe me. Our powers should be used for good, not evil," Sam explained patiently, although he had been spouting that particular nugget of wisdom every half hour on the half hour.

"Says the man who flew four inches to turn off his bathroom light," Quinn smirked.

"Yeah, and you used a force field this morning to save your cereal from spilling," Mercedes revealed with a raise of her eyebrows.

"Mercedes, they were Lucky Charms," Finn tried to explain to her with an almost idiotic patience. "You can't waste the marshmallows."

"I think we've all used our powers for a little more than good, but not quite evil," Artie nodded as he watched Rachel wrap up the Yoga session. He stretched his arms out and gave a grinning Rachel a thumbs up in approval of the yoga he totally didn't even try to participate in.

"What did you do with yours?" Puck wondered of Artie. The wheelchair bound boy seemed too embarrassed to say so Puck confessed, "I totally tried to make it hotter in here so that Rachel would look sweatier and maybe take off her shirt."

"Kudos, Puckerman," Santana approved as Rachel dabbed at her body with a towel to wick off any excess moisture.

"So what's our schedule for the rest of the day?" Rachel questioned Mercedes and Finn, knowing that they had been talking with Bieste about Schue's predicament as a means to escape group yoga. Mercedes was clearly not interested in moving her booty that way and Finn had tried but had nearly tied his gargantuan limbs together after the first pose.

"Coach Bieste thinks it would be a good idea for us all to chill today. We've had a busy time of it so far," Finn revealed.

"I think she also thinks that if she gives us a nice break today, we won't go all crazy and try to escape again," Mercedes added helpfully. She looked around at the rag-tag group of friends and pleaded, "Can we please not try to escape today? Coach Sylvester isn't here right now, so I'm pretty sure that no one will try to blow us up today."

"Not blowing up sounds _awesome_," Tina admitted, to which Mike nodded enthusiastically. She turned to Rachel after taking a swig of water before wondering, "I want to know how it worked last night…how did my power go from me, through you, to Puck?"

"Yeah, how does that happen?" Blaine piped up. "Because when we zipped to your room, I definitely know that it was YOU doing it, not me. I would have zipped us straight to the Dalton medical infirmary. Or the set of Grey's Anatomy."

"Rachel can combine our stuff and make it new and exciting," Brittany revealed nonchalantly. "It's like, she takes the peanut butter from Blaine and the marshmallow fluff from Mercedes and she uses her own really delicious Rachel apple crumb bread and lets Puck toast it and then we get super delicious sandwiches."

Twelve pairs of stunned and curious eyes turned towards Brittany as she continued to poke about in Stubbs' innards. They remained quiet and staring for at least two full minutes before Brittany looked up again. She returned their curious looks with a big grin which slowly turned into her own curious pout.

"Did I confuse you guys with my super brain again?" she wondered.

"I only took Blaine's teleportation skill once. And I channeled Tina's regenerative powers," Rachel clarified. "I've never combined anything."

"OH! That was past-Rachel," Brittany nodded. "I get you two confused because in my head you're just the same person, really. I must have read it this morning in the book Santana stole me from Bieste's office."

Brittany went back to her robot, shoving both hands into his back until she was elbow deep as she rewired with renewed gusto. She continued at her task with a singular mind until she was pleased with her preparations and began closing the robot's panel back up.

"Stubbs can sing now," Brittany announced with a ridiculous amount of giddy happiness. The robot hummed to life and sure enough the beeping sound that he usually made was now a series of melodic beeping, much like the soundtrack to a 16 bit video game. She looked to her teammates for accolades and found that they were still staring at her curiously. She full on pouted and demanded, "What's with you guys? You should totally be telling me how awesome and brilliant I am."

"You are awesome and brilliant, baby," Santana grinned at her.

"Truth, woman," Artie nodded as the rest of the team nodded and made general agreement noises.

They waited until Brittany basked in the praise enough before Kurt launched into the questions,

"So, the Mind could blend powers?"

"The Mind?" Mercedes wondered.

"My Dad was telling me stuff…the original nine's names were erased from history. They go by pseudonyms that sort of relate to what they did," Kurt explained.

"The Mind. The Fire. The Immortal. The Soothsayer. The Eagle. The Protector. The Ocean. The Power. The Stone," Brittany rattled off quickly, sounding very much like her robotic friend. She grinned in a self satisfied manner before shrugging, "I'm the Stone. Because I'm totally cool like a wrestler or something."

"Actually, it's probably based off the Rosetta Stone," Artie said helpfully.

"_Actually_, it's because I'm awesome," Brittany contradicted. She glared at Artie for a split second before reminding him, "You told me I was awesome the other night when me and Santana did that-"

"Okay, cool names!" Mercedes interrupted as loudly as possible. "So the _Mind_ could combine stuff?"

Quinn looked at Rachel thoughtfully and said, "Can you do that?"

"Of course she can," Brittany shrugged. "The Mind was just beginning to figure stuff out before she died. I'm sure it's all in Rachel's head. I mean…Past-Rachel should have left certain things there."

"I wanna see stuff combined!" Tina said with enthusiasm. She looked to Rachel questioningly. "What should we do?"

"Uhm…" Rachel shrugged and looked around at the excitement of her teammates.

"Link hands," Puck gruffly ordered. Rachel threw him a questioning look and he simply shrugged while mentally reassuring her, _I don't know how I know, Sparky. I just do_.

Rachel watched as the Gleeks reassembled themselves so that they could all hold hands. She was searching her brain, trying to figure out a way to appease them. Even when the supernatural was concerned, she hated to disappoint her friends. Friends who had not all been friends with her two weeks ago. She watched as they decided who should link hands with her, and decided to go with Brittany's analogy as Blaine and Mercedes each grabbed one of her hands. Puck gave her a reassuring squeeze of her shoulder as he linked hands with no one but simply stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist as he rested his chin atop her head.

_You can do this, Sparky_. _ Let's see what you make of it_.

Rachel couldn't help but feel his warmth. It was more than just the physical heat of him. Ever since their short re-visit back to their special/coma place, she had felt their connection grow by leaps and bounds with each passing minute. There was a comfort there that had never really existed in her life before. They had witnessed their future together through prophetic blips while they were at death's door. She knew he felt it too, and what was more, he was a seventeen year old self-proclaimed sex shark that _wasn't_ running away screaming. Even his own ridiculous ego could recognize that the past, the present, the future and their feelings for each other were all beyond his control.

Rachel's mind clicked into place and she knew exactly what she wanted to do, and most importantly, she knew exactly how to do it. The Gleek's felt a jolt run through their joined hands, a sapping of strength, a spark of electricity, and a astonishing warmth in the pit of their bellies.

"See? Totally delicious peanut-fluff sandwich," Brittany whispered.

They all felt a familiar tug and a violent gust of wind that caused all of their eyes to blink shut in response. Slowly, they stepped away from their hallucinations and opened their eyes, completely shocked at what they saw in front of them. Gone was the multi-purpose training room of their underground facilities.

In its place was the landscape of a beautiful countryside. Leaves that were still on the trees were beautiful and stunning in their golden, sienna and crimson glory. They watched as the illusions that Mercedes' power created slowly walked away into the countryside in different directions before fading away. They felt the need to follow them, but found that they didn't have to, as something within Sam lent itself to Rachel and the entire team floated in the direction that she wanted them to. Directly after the carbon copy version of herself and Puck.

Puck's illusion appeared walking along a lonely, but beautiful path through a small patch of woods, dressed in clothes that Brittany immediately deemed.

"Those clothes are really, really, really vintage."

He was walking with a purpose, obviously in a hurry to get somewhere when suddenly the most lovely sound he had ever heard echoed through the golden and crisp afternoon. He stopped dead in his tracks as a female voice surrounded him in a decidedly foreign tongue. If he had to decide, it would have been Spanish or Italian. And if he had known the words it would have been an Aria. He turned in circles, trying to find the source of the beautiful music, he followed the lilting soprano notes and peaked through branches of dense trees to see a small young woman, sitting alone in the forest, her eyes closed to the world as she sang out with all her heart, as if she were praying to God through song. His breath caught and he swallowed deeply as he stared for countless moments.

"Past-Rachel is still pretty," Brittany narrated helpfully. "I wish her vintage dress were shorter."

"We all do, Britt-Britt," Santana nodded. She smirked at Puck and said, "Past you is kind of being a stalker, dude."

"Beautiful," vintage Puck and real Puck whispered in unison as they both stared at the girl singing.

They felt a jolt through their hands again and suddenly everything around them began moving in fast forward. The leaves on the trees began to change colors, the sun rose and set in tandem with the moon, quickly and repeatedly. The cycles began to slow and soon vintage Puck reappeared in the woods. He was glancing around, looking hopefully around his surroundings. His nervous and anxious eyes kept glancing up and down a slight pathway through the densely wooded area in clear anticipation of something. His entire face lit up suddenly, as if he just been gifted a naked Rachel Berry, a winning lottery ticket, and the world's most delicious roast beef sandwich. Sure enough, Rachel's illusion was slowly walking down the pathway. Vintage Puck wiped suddenly nervous hands against the front of his jacket as he tried to contain his delighted smile.

"Good morrow, young miss," He smiled hesitantly at her.

"Good morrow, good sir," she smiled back, her voice sounded nervous, but incredibly happy as she stared back at vintage Puck with a definite shyness.

"Art though planning to attend this evening's festivies?" vintage Puck wondered hopefully.

"My family will be attending," past-Rachel nodded.

"Wonderful," vintage Puck whispered. "Good day, young miss."

"Good day, good sir," past-Rachel's smile grew wider and brighter as she began walking away once again.

Santana rolled her eyes from their viewing spot. She caught Quinn's glare and said obnoxiously, "My GOD, we get it, Young miss, Good sir…JUST BONE ALREADY."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Yes. Rachel has harnessed a power of Blaine's, busting through space effortlessly and upgraded it with her own mind voodoo. She is busting back in time, and in order to show all the Gleek's what she's seeing in her head, she's focusing Mercedes' power of illusions. Voila...time travel. Still with me? I hope you enjoy this little development. It'll be explained better, probably by Brittany.

Much love to you all. Look tomorrow for another chappie.

Chapter Eighteen – "You Can't Be Too Careful With Your Past Heart"


	18. Chapter 18

WEEKEND! Hooray. Happy weekend gentlereaders.

So Santana totally did me a solid at the beginning of this chapter. I owe her hugely. If you can owe a fictional character anything. NO Santana, you can't score with Rachel before Puck. Naughty girl. Thanks as always for the fabulous responses. You guys are INSANE.

Anyway, this is Paramore lyric for this chapter title. Enjoy!

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 18 – "You Can't Be Too Careful With Your Past Heart"_

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* * *

Love never changes. Two thousand years ago, love existed just as it does now. Throughout all time and space, Love is always the most powerful, all consuming and dangerous of emotions. _

_When love is shared, it is a wonder to behold. Its beauty is unparalleled. When love is unrequited, it is still beautiful but in the most horrible of ways. Unrequited love is more powerful than any other subdivision of love. That is quite a feat, considering there are eighty-seven subdivisions of love. _

_Unrequited love can inspire the greatest art, the bloodiest of wars, the heights of invention and the most devastating of deaths. Its history is coated with gold, diamonds and blood._

* * *

"So this is how colonists got down?" Puck wondered as the scene they had been watching turned from day to night. Rachel floated them speedily towards what they assumed was a church or town hall as people began streaming in. They watched with interest as vintage Puck kept staring at the door, obviously anxious for the arrival of a certain familiar brunette.

Kurt gasped as his own spectral twin walked through the door looking every inch a poor, rural farmer, his arm being held by a sweet and docile Tina, who was suddenly very obviously HUGELY pregnant. Mike managed to make a squeaking sound before turning a questioning glare Kurt's way.

"I _obviously_ didn't touch her!" Kurt insisted, holding up his hands in a claim of innocence.

Any further discussion was cut off as visions of Brittany and Santana walked in, dressed as all the other males, with Blaine and Mike's visions following dutifully, dressed as all the other women were.

"This is _awesome_," Brittany smiled.

The entire Glee club was present, playing parts in the visions of the past that Rachel was feeding her friends. They all appeared to be married and were already either pregnant or holding tiny baskets that were full of adorable babies. When Glee club members were exhausted, Rachel used the images of their friends and family and mere acquaintances bedecked in period garb to show the story clearly.

"Uhm, hey, can they stop talking in thee's and thou's and the whole Shakespeare thing?" Santana demanded. "It totally makes me head hurt. I mean, I watched Leo in Romeo and Juliet on mute so that I didn't have to deal with it."

"But it detracts from the story!" Rachel pouted at Santana.

"Oh shit, not the pout," Santana rolled her eyes. "Look, I'll make out with you if you keep that face up, and I doubt you can keep the Masterpiece Theatre of Time Travel going if I get my hands on that booo-tay. Just drop Ye Olde English."

"It makes me want to punch vintage Puck in the face," Brittany agreed. "Or real Puck."

"Keep your fists of fury away from my perfect face. And my _other_ perfect face," Puck ordered as harshly as possible.

"I'm already confused with everyone in different clothes, I can't keep up with the different language," Finn admitted sheepishly.

Rachel blew out a long exasperated breath before gritting her teeth and hissing a curt, "**FINE**."

"I'm still very curious as to how this is all happening," Artie admitted as he saw himself walk in with a random Cheerio wife and a tiny little child in tow. He gulped and couldn't help the jealousy in his eyes as the image of himself had full use of both legs. Fake bastard.

"Rachel did it," Brittany smiled winningly. Artie nodded and shrugged and Brittany actually rolled her eyes at him before explaining, "So, Rachel jumpstarted us. She knows our powers better than WE do because she put them there. So using energy from all of us, she can make them all different and shiny and new and go for super combo moves, too. Like Taco Bell makes that awesome box full of food and delicious cinnamon Styrofoam."

"So this is a combination of who?" Sam wondered.

"She took Blaine moving and made Artie's future telling _backwards_, and is using Mercedes to show us what she's seeing in her brain," Brittany explained as the meeting's music began playing. She emphasized each thing Rachel was doing with a bit of simple choreography. She skipped up to her drag-self and waved her hand in front of her other face. "They can't see us, cause we're not really in the past. We're in the gym."

"I'm totally confused still," Finn admitted. Mercedes rolled her eyes and pulled him aside as she patiently translated what Brittany had just explained into Finn-ish.

Vintage Puck stood from his spot close to the door and looked like he had just seen the second coming of Jesus as his face completely lit up. Tina clapped her hands excitedly and cooed,

"It's so exciting! Look how happy he-"

Vintage Puck's face fell, and he looked like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest.

"What happened?" Mike turned to the door.

"Holy Shit on a Stick," Tina breathed.

"What in the fucking hell is he doing here?" the real Puck roared, glaring at Rachel who seemed embarrassed by her mind's choice.

"I'm sorry, Noah. It's just that's who he looks like in my head," Rachel replied honestly and firmly, hoping he would take it as a hint not to be a petulant child.

Puck pouted still, no matter how school teacher/sexy librarian Rachel had just sounded like as he and his vintage counterpart stared at the front door, which was being gallantly held open by one Jesse St. James in the appropriate period dress of a Church Pastor. Past-Rachel walked through the door and nodded with a small smile at the young man in thanks. She looked upon the gathering of settlers and the small smile on her face grew into a huge grin as she spotted vintage Puck.

She walked straight up to him, the only woman in the room that did not have a male (or a Gleek dressed in drag) standing right next to her.

"How are you this evening?" past-Rachel beamed up at vintage-Puck, who was too busy glaring at Jesse as he walked through the room greeting people. "I'm very well, thank you so much for asking. Are you even listening to me?"

"Oh…sorry. I was—distracted," vintage Puck offered a gruff apology as he tore jealous and seething eyes away from Jesse St. Bighead and focused solely on past-Rachel. His eyes drunk her in lazily, in such a blatantly covetous way that her cheeks flushed red.

"Dayum, Sparky, we said stop the old accents, we didn't say turn it into a American Pie: Frontier World," Santana smirked.

"I'm not exaggerating that," Rachel whispered, shooting a look at the real Puck who had still been grumbling silently at the appearance of Jesse St. James. "He's always looked at me…at her like that."

"Uh huh. Eye fucking. I can dig it," Santana whispered. "_Totes_ Hot, biotch."

Vintage Puck reached out a hand and gripped Rachel's in his, and even Finn understood how wildly inappropriate such an action was in the 17th century. He gripped it tightly and the change in his face at the very feeling of her hand in his was amazing, happiness settled into every inch of him, his eyes sparkled that particularly beautiful hazel green. Any lingering jealousy or anger at the sight of the pastor disappeared as he stared down at his hand clasping her own. He grinned when she didn't flinch or try to pull away at all.

"I want to marry you," he blurted in a whisper. Her eyes turned wide as saucers as she stared up at him in a combination of surprise and thankfully happiness. "I'm sorry it came out that way. You know I'm not good with the big gestures. I'm not smart and I never went to school like-other people. But I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, hand in hand. And I should have asked your father…I should have done this the right way, but I can't chance losing the way that you look at me."

"Yes," past-Rachel breathed.

"I know that most of these people in this room haven't married with love in their hearts, but that shouldn't stop us. Please say you love me. Please say you'll marry me, wait-yes?"

"Yes. I daresay I love you. I love the way you look at me when you catch me singing. I love how warm and comforting your hand is. I love talking to you all day long while we both ignore our chores. I never imagined when my family and I stepped off of the boat into the New World, that I could be truly happy. But I am. I love you. And I'll marry you," past-Rachel answered with a grin. "Tomorrow if that's what you want."

The real Gleeks clapped and giggled and cooed. The boys, even Finn, high-fived the real Puck as they began fast forwarding again. Days passed, weeks perhaps and they watched a speedy version of a colonial wedding and Santana began squawking as Rachel skipped through time.

"HEY! HEY! HELLS NAW, I WANNA SEE YOU GUYS BANG! What the fuck was the point if I don't get to see you guys make fuck like hot Jew bunnies!"

Rachel rolled her eyes as the time slowed again on a snowy and cold winters night, where they saw nine people walking under a lovely and large moon. Santana stopped her bitching as Rachel clearly showed the point of the trip into the past. Visions of Rachel, Puck, Santana, Brittany, Sam, Quinn, Artie, Kurt and Jesse St. James walked together. Rachel was the only one dressed as a female, and Puck's hand was protectively wrapped around her midsection, his long fingers resting lightly on her stomach as they navigated through the snow.

"The moon…there's fire…" Brittany pointed anxiously upwards. "How pretty…"

They all looked up and saw the crimson moon of the lunar eclipse and moments later, the vintage Puck's skin began to blaze and he became the Fire. The observing Gleeks watched in fascination as the scene unfolded. The Fire distanced himself from the Mind, anxious that he would hurt her. She didn't back down however and soothed him wordlessly, just as Rachel had done for him that first night. The sudden stress of it caused her to fall to the ground.

His companions had hoped he would fall with her, they were scared out of their minds at what they had just witnessed, instead he clearly lost control of the flames dancing on his skin and his companions reacted, each one inheriting their own powers from the sleeping Mind and the moon in order to avoid certain death due to the uncontrollable flames.

Santana became the Ocean, attempting to douse the Fire with snow and water. Sam became the Eagle, lifting off of his feet and moving through the air in order to avoid the angry flames. Artie became the Soothsayer, seeing everything that was happening before it happened. Brittany became the Stone, taking Artie's instructions and preminitions and relaying them to the rest of the group. Kurt became the Power, convincing the horses they led to stay out of harms way. Quinn became the Protector, although this male version didn't have the lovely blue orbs of protection, rather golden shimmering walls were used as barriers.

The observing Gleeks drew in a deep breath one by one as the last super power was revealed. A violent line of flame shot from the Fire's hand indiscriminately as he spiraled further out of control. It landed squarely on the pastor version of Jesse St. James' chest. It burned until the Ocean could put it out with as much snow as he could will there, but the damage was done.

The pastor was dead. Thoroughly dead. The Mind stirred and the Fire calmed, staring down in horror at what he had just done. He had taken the Pastor's life…he dropped to his knees, overcome with guilt and regret at what had just occurred.

His eyes were closed when the green light began to glow from beneath the pastor's skin. Soon though, the light was so great and so powerful that he could see it behind closed eyes. All of the original powers looked on in astonishment as the Immortal was born.

Even the thirteen new empowered teenagers watched the phenomenon in amazement. Finn turned to Mercedes with a million questions in his mind before he finally settled on one, "So…Jesse St. Poopface is the immortal?"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I tried to make it as unconfusing as I possibly could, but its still pretty confusing. To rewards you for the last few calm chapters, we shall see a little action tomorrow. No, Puckleberries, not that type of action. Cue your best Santana rant about how you wanna see them bumping their Jew uglies.

Love to all.

Chapter 19 – "And I Saw Sue Cry in the Reflection of My Enemies"


	19. Chapter 19

Hello weekend readers! A chapter a day keeps me...typing a lot? Hopefully it keeps everyone content and happy, because you're the greatest readers to have ever read fanfic and I want you always to be content and happy.

This chapter's title was taken from Fall Out Boy's "Golden". I love that song, seriously. Is there no more Fall out Boy? I thought I heard something about them not making new music anymore. It's a sad day for my iPod if this is true.

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 19 – "And I Saw Sue Cry in the Reflection of My Enemies"_

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Law Number 1579 of the Universe clearly states that as soon as you achieve a reasonable level of comfort, agents of evil will attempt to disturb said comfort. Have you just found that comfy spot in your couch? The telephone will ring from across the room. Finally figured out multiplication tables? Your teacher will begin Division lessons on Monday, and guess what? They stink. _

_Have you figured out a few things about your newly found super powers and feel comfortable in your usage of them? The universe definitely has plans to disturb your comfort._

* * *

The scene of the past dissipated before their very eyes and the thirteen Gleeks were left standing underneath the same crimson moon that had changed their ancestors and themselves so greatly. The last image to fade was that of Jesse St. James, his clothes burnt, newly fresh scars turning from white to red as the clear pain that Tina could certainly empathize with contorted his face. The vision was staring right at the real Rachel and she looked back at him with scrutiny.

Puck squeezed her shoulder and looked down at Rachel curiously, "You don't really think the guy who can't die is St. Fucktard, do you?"

"I don't know," Rachel whispered as the image of Jesse finally disappeared into thin air. She looked over to Artie and managed to shrug as she explained, "Artie knows how unclear the visions are, I was doing my best to match everyone up according to genetics, and if I couldn't, I used people who sort of looked like what I was _sort_ _of _seeing."

"Wordy McWord Word," Artie nodded. He looked around at his friends and reiterated, "Sort of is an understatement. There's a reason the premonitions come out in Latin. It's really jumbled."

"But he looks like Jesse?" Quinn furrowed her brow. "But you didn't recognize the vision Immortal guy completely?"

"It's all very confusing," Rachel said softly by way of apology. "Jesse was the first person to come to mind when I was trying to cast the Immortal in my production."

"There's really only one way to find out if he's immortal," Santana shrugged.

"Go find Jesse St. James and break his arm?" Puck ventured hopefully. "If he heals, we cut off his head and bury it somewhere. If not, ehh, whatever."

Rachel actually couldn't help but smile at his suggestion, which pleased Puck to no end. Santana rolled her eyes and scoffed, "I can't believe your supporting his male posturing, there Sparky."

"It's like he peed on your leg," Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"That's super freaky," Brittany looked to Santana with wide, questioning eyes. "I thought you said people who do that are not our friends."

"She didn't mean it that way, baby," Santana assured her before turning a small smile towards a chuckling Artie. "Anyway, so let's plan up, for reals."

"Shouldn't Jesse be home for Christmas break?" Finn wondered.

Mercedes grinned at him and nudged her shoulder into his arm playfully before praising him, "That's a _really_ good idea, Finn!"

"Oh my god, Finn had a good idea," Puck looked to Mike immediately, who was immediately biting his knuckle to suppress laughter.

"I'll call the ambulance as soon as Rachel takes us back to the gym," Kurt sighed resignedly, as this was what usually _had_ to happen after Finn had a good idea. Most notable was the great super glue fiasco of the Summer of 2010.

"Oh, the gym…yes," Rachel nodded and closed her eyes tightly, concentrating on their destination and their reality as closely as possible. When she opened her eyes she immediately furrowed her brow at the beautiful blue sparkling light that invaded her vision. She looked around and saw that all thirteen of them were still linked together, Puck's arms were still wrapped around her waist and they were all safe and sound inside a very large protective bubble.

Just outside the confines of the bubble, was absolute chaos and confusion. Brittany gasped and squeaked out, "Stubbs no!"

For her pet robot was outside of the protective bubble, in fact it had moved to stand directly in front of it as its steel body absorbed bullets and pushed back against a group of government agents that had invaded the training room while the Gleeks had blipped out for a viewing of the past. How and when they had arrived was unknown, but if Stubbs' dented armor and the pile of men that looked like they were dressed in riot gear that Stubbs had thrown to the side were any indication, the intruders had been there for quite a while.

"Kurt, Kurt please, help Stubbs! Tell him to use emergency plan number 901!" Brittany pleaded, her eyes filling with tears as Stubbs continued to try and further protect the Gleek's who had mentally just checked back into the situation. She whimpered as a round of gunfire crunched against the robot's metal armor. Artie clasped her hand in his his, rubbing his thumbs against her palm in as comforting a manner as possible and Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's shoulders protectively as she glared out at the people who were causing the blonde's anxious tears.

Kurt nodded and furrowed his brow, finding that with the extra energy traveling through their link he didn't have to speak his request out, he simply wanted the robot to do what Brittany wanted, and it happened. Stubbs held up both of his canon arms towards the intruders.

"He's not going to kill those guys, is he?" Quinn demanded.

"No," Kurt shook his head, understanding what Stubbs was about to do.

Gas began funneling from Stubbs arms and the intruders that didn't immediately retreat soon began to feel its effects. The doubled over and everyone looked warily at a greatly relieved Brittany.

"Are you sure they aren't going to die?" Blaine asked the question that all of the other kids clearly wanted answered.

"No. But they were trying to kill Stubbs," Brittany grumbled. "They don't deserve emergency plan 901."

Brittany's declaration was very quickly explained as the ten odd government agents that hadn't gotten out of the gym in time began laughing uproariously, cackling with almost painful mirth and agonizing amusement. The continued to laugh uproariously against their will as they fell to the ground, their breaths becoming shallow and further apart until one by one, they laughed themselves unconscious.

"Effective," Mike nodded in appreciation.

"I wish they had cried themselves unconscious," Brittany shrugged indifferently.

"Quinn let me out, someone's got to wrap things up," Tina shrugged nonchalantly. "Just in case any of the fuckers aren't passed out."

"Be careful," Mike smiled sadly at her, knowing that she was seconds away from scoffing back at him. He fidgeted slightly at her brazen attitude about her regenerative abilities. He could tell that his girlfriend was seriously freaking out inside, they just hadn't found the time to freak out together about it.

Tina rolled her eyes as Quinn let her out of the bubble that Rachel had unwittingly triggered during their trip to the past. Tina smirked, "Why bother being careful? I'm the Immortal Part Two."

Mike winced noticeably as Tina casually strolled out into potential danger, going towards the supply cabinet in a corner of the training room and pulling out appropriate wrapping up supplies which consisted of two rolls of duct tape and a box of jump ropes. She made quick work with each of the incapacitated men, tying and duct taping with speed until all of the intruders were basically tethered. Quinn let the bubble drop completely and the other Gleek's began to help. Brittany immediately went towards Stubbs and bit her lip at his damage.

Finn began lifting bodies effortlessly and piling them all together in a corner. With all thirteen of them working together, the cleanup took less than five minutes and they all looked to Puck and Rachel for instructions. Rachel held her hand out to Quinn wordlessly and as soon as they linked up, all the Gleek's were once again shielded behind a sparkling blue bubble of light.

They walked in a huddle towards the door and stepped very cautiously out, all of them ready for a fight in their own way. Puck had placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder and Sam had followed suit, both of them trying to give us much energy as they could to the protective space the girls had created. Puck's free hand ignited and he held the small put potent ball of fire in his palm.

Rachel stopped once in the hallway and her eyes darted around desperately as her mind tried to focus on something. She turned her head to Puck and the protective force field dissipated and returned back to Quinn's skin.

"Everyone's gone," Rachel whispered. Mike and Sam immediately went into action. Sam flew quickly towards Coach Bieste's office while Mike stretched his entire body towards the infirmary.

"Everyone?" Kurt demanded. He darted away from the group and rushed towards the sliding door where his father resided. He put his hand against the steel and when it zipped open he practically fell into the room, turning around in very real desperation as he shouted, "Dad? DAD?"

"Shit," Blaine whispered, going after Kurt and placing a consoling hand on his shoulder. He winced when Kurt turned, his eyes full of bewildered fear and unshed tears. Blaine swallowed and did the only thing he could think of, hugging Kurt to him in a tight embrace. He tried to convey reassurance as his hand rubbed soothing circles into the distraught Kurt's back. "We'll find him."

"Kurt, we'll find him," Mercedes promised.

"And Coach Bieste," Sam said breathlessly as he rushed from the Coach's empty office.

"Mr. Schue, too," Mike stretched back to his original position.

"Where do we start to look? What do we do? We're completely alone now," Quinn panicked.

"There's Coach Sylvester," Brittany reminded Quinn.

"Awesome, she can give me some new scars and try to blow us up. It's a totally valuable life lesson," Tina huffed.

"Mercedes?" Rachel questioned softly, staring back at Puck as he put out the flame in his hand and placed both of his hands on her shoulders again.

Mercedes walked towards Rachel and her eyes grew large when Rachel gripped both of her hands tightly. Rachel screwed her eyes shut and concentrated and before they knew it, an image shimmered before their eyes. That of Sue Sylvester in action.

"Coach Sylvester?" Rachel asked quietly. "Are you all right?"

"It'll take more than a bunch of ill-trained baboons to take down Sue Sylvester! I've had bowel movements that were stronger than you!" Sue roared as she held a fighting stance as two unseen people obviously came at her.

Mike actually whistled in appreciation of the sweet kung-fu moves that Coach Sue possessed. It was as if her spectral vision in front of them was auditioning for the greatest martial arts film of all time as she punched, chopped and kicked her way through her unseen assailants.

"All right, you just keep coming, I'll just keep on completely ruining your future chances at reproducing you mindless government sheep!" Sue roared. "Okay, fine, fine…you want to _capture_ me? Do you have a death wish?"

"Coach, what can we do to help you?" Quinn demanded.

"Easy, Q. You can all help me by staying safe!" Sue shouted as she continued to physically decimate her competition, but all the kids could tell that eventually she would be overwhelmed. She couldn't see the kids, so she stared off and focused on one point, her emotions that she thought she had surgically removed years ago were clearly making a reappearance as she thought about her kids, the legacy she had worked so hard on, that her ancestors had prepared for for centuries. Her face was deadly serious as she solemnly promised, "I'll get out of this. We'll come back to you. Keep that protective bubble ready and keep yourselves safe."

The transmission cut out very suddenly with a large bang and Rachel jumped with a squeak. She looked around at her seriously worried teammates and shook her head, "I think she cut off the connection…I don't think anything bad happened. It just startled me."

"What are we going to do?" Finn wondered.

"Okay…the government is out to get us," Sam offered.

"And this immortal fucker is out to get us," Puck added.

"And hell, in a perfectly shitty world, they'd be working together," Santana threw in.

"I vote against going after the government. They have loads of guns," Mike shrugged, gripping Tina's hand even as she tried to appear as nonchalant as possible at the mention of guns. "Maybe we should go and see if Jesse is really the immortal. I mean, he might have information, hell maybe he'd even help us..."

"So we go after the immortal?" Blaine questioned as he gripped Kurt's trembling hand. "It's probably just my Dalton way of thinking, but it seems like a pretty fucking awful idea to go after a guy that doesn't like us and _can't ever die_."

"We have to do something, we can't run," Kurt whispered. "Coach Bieste and Coach Sue have ways to protect themselves. My Dad is still recovering from his heart…we have to figure out how to help him."

"Okay, okay. We'll go," Blaine nodded. "This is going to call for a really good plan. I think I have an idea."

"I hope it has something to do with an invisibility cloak," Brittany whispered to Artie hopefully.

"I'm going to assume that's another one of your guys' precious Hogfarts references," Blaine rolled his eyes.

"Dude, seriously, pick up a book once in a while," Finn sneered, glaring down protectively at Kurt's hand, that was still encased in Blaine's. He scoffed and repeated in exasperation, "_Hogfarts_."

"I feel sudden shame that YOU were the one to tell me that this time," Blaine muttered. He rolled his eyes and took in a deep breath. "Okay, here's what we're going to do…"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So, the chapter I'm currently writing for tomorrow is...interesting. I think. I hope you enjoyed this! See you tomorrow? Same bat time? Same bat channel?

Chapter 20 – "Tina'd Put Her Hand On A Blade For You."


	20. Chapter 20

Good evening! How are the football playoffs treating you? I'm not terribly invested, although I used to be a GIGANTIC Packer's fan before the Brett Favre fiasco. But, as this playoff weekend winds down, you must understand that there are only two more weekends of playoffs. Then the Pro-bowl. THEN THE SUPERBOWL. Guh.

I totally lied about this chapter's title. Or rather, used the wrong one. My apologies that I got all confused. This is a actually a Taylor Swift lyric from my favorite song of hers "Long Live" (another Glee song, the lyrics fit so well, although it would have to be Quinn, since Taylor's singing voice isn't quite Rachel Berry's)

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 20 – "You Held My Heart Like a Hero, On a History Book Page"_

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_One of the most fascinating things about the all encompassing power of love, is that it is literally all encompassing. There are a million tiny and gargantuan moments of love every where at any given moment. In the same five minutes, an old married couple will be holding hands and smiling into each others' eyes knowingly while watching two young people exchange their everlasting vows of matrimony. While the "I Do's" are recited, a flirty exchange, wordless exchange will be happening between one bridesmaid and one or two groomsmen. All the while, the flower girl has decided that someday, certainly, she will marry the little boy who walked down the aisle with her while holding the rings. _

_Love is everywhere, all the time. It doesn't matter if you are preparing to risk your lives or go to the bathroom. The seeds of love, new love, love reinforced or love that can never die. It's all happening right under your nose, every single second of the day._

* * *

"Why'd you pick me? I mean…Quinn could have kept you in a bubble…"

Mercedes looked up at the quiet question from Finn. The group was preparing for what Brittany had dubbed, _Operation Find Out Who Mr. Schue's Son Really Is And See If He Will Help Us Or Try To Kill Us_. They had divided into teams, and Mercedes' role was rather involved and required her to be prone to attack. Since her utmost concentration would be required, it had been decided that she should chose who should keep her safe. She had chosen Finn without a moment's hesitation.

"You're super strong, Finn, that's just as good as a bubble," Mercedes smiled, almost shyly as she looked back down at her phone sadly. Burt Hummel had explained that they would receive no contact that wasn't community approved, but she still constantly checked her phone for a message from her parents or older brother. She had received letters telling her how much they missed her and how incredibly proud of her they were, but now, more than ever, she just wanted to hear her Dad's voice telling her everything was going to be okay.

"I stopped charging my phone," Finn said suddenly, sitting down next to her. "I figured, why bother? Burt said that my mom can't even call him, so chances are she's not going to break the rules to call me either."

"Artie tried to explain that it was probably for their safety and ours. I mean, who knows how those government guys got in here tonight? Imagine if we were getting calls, it would have been like a red flag saying, hey come on and take us away to experiment on us!" Mercedes shrugged. "Still…I miss everything about our old lives."

"I miss going to the Sonic after Glee practice," Finn nodded.

"I miss watching you and Mike eat your weight in tater tots at the Sonic," Mercedes chuckled.

"I miss my Playstation," Finn smiled wistfully.

"I miss _school_," Mercedes admitted, not quite believing her own words.

"I miss hearing you sing," Finn whispered. He looked at her with an honest earnestness that only he could pull off, "We haven't sung together since the van ride up to Dalton. That was the last time I heard you sing. I really miss the sound of your voice."

"That's really sweet, Finn," Mercedes' voice was so soft it was nearly a whisper. Her soft smile soon grew into a blinding grin as she nudged her shoulder against his arm and said playfully, "I miss seeing you dance."

"Really?" Finn asked, clearly pleased. "I'd totally dance right now if you sang."

"A little _Good Vibrations_, Finny D?" Mercedes laughed, she searched through her phone's music library and pressed play on the desired song.

Finn clapped his hands together once and hopped up from his seat, grabbing Mercedes' hand and pulling her up into a standing position. She giggled and laughed as he swung her around and danced in the most hilariously awkward hip-hop moves that only he could truly pull off. Mercedes shrieked with laughter as he rapped along to the song before doing her best not to giggle as she sang the chorus.

They made it through the whole song and the next song on her shuffle began to play, this one much slower and calmer. Finn placed his hands on Mercedes' waist and shrugged sheepishly, "I can only really do the middle school slow dance."

"I can't reach my hands that high," Mercedes giggled still, as she placed her hands as high up as she comfortably could, resting them lightly on his chest.

Finn shrugged again and quickly repositioned her hands so that they enveloped him in a hug, drawing her close so that the side of her cheek rested against the part of his chest where his heart beat. He took a deep breath before placing his own cheek on the top of her head. They barely swayed to the music now, as they were hugging much more than dancing. He took deep, measured breaths before asking again,

"Why'd you pick me, Mercedes?"

"Because you make me feel really safe," Mercedes answered quietly, glad that Finn didn't have to see her face when she said it. She was nervous, clearly. She was feeling tiny butterflies in the pit of her stomach and HAD been feeling them the past few days around Finn. Those butterflies meant nothing good in her world. She had started feeling those when she turned twelve and fell in love with her older brother's best friend. That had ended in tears while watching him go to prom with some horrible Cheerio bimbo. Another time had clearly been when she had fallen for Kurt the previous year, and those butterflies had ended with her putting a hole in Mr. Hummel's truck window.

Butterflies for Mercedes meant impending doom and heartache. No boy that inspired the butterflies had ever thought of her as more than a friend. And she knew Finn. He would never even realize he was unleashing heartache on her. He never did.

She withdrew reluctantly and went to turn her phone off when Finn pulled her back, hugging her as fiercely as he could without crushing her. Her eyes widened as suddenly she felt a pair of lips against her forehead, leaving their imprint behind.

"I'm going to be the best protector of you, ever. I promise."

She looked up at him with a blank expression, clearly not understanding what was going on. Finally, her expression filled out with a tenderness that she didn't know she had possessed as she managed a soft smile and an even softer, "I know, Finn."

* * *

"Are you okay? I mean, really okay. I can tell if you're using you Asian lying skills."

Tina rolled her body on the bed she and Mike had cuddled up on fifteen minutes ago so that they were looking one another in the eye. Nearly instantaneously her eyes filled with tears that she hadn't been comfortable with shedding in front of everyone else. She shrugged and couldn't even begin to find words to explain. Mike's lips found hers and placed a gentle kiss there.

"Okay, I don't know what you're going through, because I bend, that's all," Mike shrugged. She smiled through her tears and he nodded as he gained a bit of confidence. "This is what I think. I think that you're the bravest out of all of us. Not because you're willing to walk around a room of laughing and armed secret agents, but because I don't know anyone in the world strong enough or awesome enough to know what you know and not want to lock yourself in a closet for a couple years."

"I didn't ask for this," Tina whispered.

"I know," Mike nodded.

"Who would ask for this?" Tina demanded.

"No one in the world, sweetie. It's a burden, not a blessing," Mike nodded. "But you're so strong. Stronger than Finn even. And I love you for that. I do."

Tina merely nodded as Mike tenderly wiped at the tears that had stained her cheeks. He kissed her softly again before pulling away and holding her as close as he possibly could. He stayed silent for extended moments until she calmed completely. He took a deep breath before hopefully offering,

"Maybe, when things calm down…"

"IF, they ever calm down," Tina scoffed a bit, clearly gaining a little bit of her old bite back.

"When they calm down, you and Rachel can sit down with Brittany and some books and sort of figure out a way to change it," Mike hopefully suggested.

Tina looked at him carefully and asked, "Do you really think there might be a way for me to be sort of normal some day?"

"You'll never be normal. You're Tina Cohen-Chang," Mike said seriously. He grinned and said, "But I really love that."

"I love you, Mike," Tina smiled back at him weakly. She kissed his lips ardently before pulling away and whispering, "I don't ever want to know what life would be like without you."

* * *

"I thought you'd be in here."

Kurt looked up from his dad's desk, where he had been staring at the evidence of his dad's obvious struggle before being captured. Files and papers were strewn on the ground haphazardly and a mug of coffee was spilled. In the doorway, Blaine stood with a clearly nervous look on his face as he stared worriedly back at Kurt. He entered the room and allowed the sliding door to whizz shut behind him. He took very slow steps towards Kurt as he spoke softly,

"I want you to know, that I'm through running, and that is the first time that's happened since I turned twelve and figured out that I wasn't interested in Jennie Parker's boobs. I've run from my parents, my classmates, and generally from any bad attitude of any random person. But I won't do it anymore. Do you want to know why?"

Kurt looked up at him with tear filled eyes and managed a small, sad smile before shrugging his shoulders as elegantly as possible. Blaine smiled as he reached the desk finally and picked up a few of the folders and righted the coffee mug. He gripped the folders then with both hands, anxious as he stared down at Kurt with more emotions floating through his body than he could process at that moment. He very much felt like running at that moment as the enormity of what he was feeling threatened to crush him completely. He tried to take courage from bravery that was in Kurt's crystal clear blue eyes.

"I'm not running anymore because you inspire me. Your strength is amazing. I mean, a hundred years from now, people'll be singing folk songs about you. Or writing term papers about you. You're fearless, whether it be about the appropriate use of man capris or the fact that everyone deserves to be treated fairly. And you're…you're a beautiful person, Kurt. Inside and out. And that's inspiring and fucking amazing."

"You really have a potty mouth," Kurt furrowed his brow slightly. "You never swore at Dalton."

"I got sick of putting half of my allowance in the swear jar," Blaine said lightly, happy to see Kurt's small smile turn into a bigger one. "We're going to get your Dad back. I _promise_. I would do anything in my power or any of the other freak's power in order to get your Dad back, because I can't stand to see you so sad. You're not meant to be a sad person."

"People have said that my face is more appealing when pouting rather than smiling," Kurt argued as he wiped at the tears on his face.

Blaine put the folders down swiftly and bent swiftly, wrapping his arms around Kurt's shoulders as he hugged him tightly. His whisper found Kurt's ear and he promised,

"You're beautiful when you smile. And I promise I'll do anything to keep you smiling."

* * *

"Everyone out there is acting like this is the last moment they're going to have. _Everyone_. I'm trying really, really hard to block out Artie, Brittany and Santana, but their inappropriate feelings are incredibly loud in my head."

"Their inappropriate sexing noises are incredibly loud in my ears," Puck smirked at Rachel as he leaned back on his bed as she paced the room. He sighed and held out his arms expectantly, "Sparky, c'mon…"

Rachel couldn't help the small smile stretching into a wide grin as she quickly scooted up on the bed that Puck was sprawled out on. She cuddled close and felt calmer than she had since they had been in their vacation coma. She drew in a deep breath and actually giggled when Puck placed his hands on her waist and repositioned her so that she was on top of him, straddling his lap. His eyes were positively sinful as he raked them up and down her whole body with appreciation and desire.

"So…what you're saying right now is that we have half an hour of prep time and Satan-a is too busy sexing up Wheels and Brittany to interrupt? Why aren't you NAKED, woman?" Puck demanded peevishly.

"Our first time together will not be in a rushed half hour before we scurry off to potential danger and doom," Rachel insisted strongly as her hands still settled on his stomach and moved slightly up, making his shirt ride up as well. She was caught off guard by the sight of bare skin and licked her lips before swallowing slowly.

"You're going to be the death of me," Puck groaned as he watched her face. He grabbed at her hands and brought them to his mouth, placing kisses in her palms before looking up at her with a carefully arched eyebrow. "So our first time will be _after_ the danger. Our endorphins will be all crazy and awesome. It'll be fucking epic."

"Under normal circumstances, I would chastise you for being so presumptuous and conceited," Rachel lectured as he placed her hands on his chest and let his own hands settle around her waist. Her face melted into a dreamy look of fond remembrance as she whispered, "But you and I both know what we've seen…"

"Fuck right, Sparky. We rock both of our socks off," Puck nodded. He sat up with her still in his lap and his lips sought hers avidly.

"I think that I-" Rachel's words were cut off by the heated kiss, but she managed to get the rest of her thought out through the breaks when his lips sought out other landing spots on her jaw, throat, and most adorably, her nose. "This is highly un-orthodox of course, but…I…think…most of what we've gone through has been-mmmhmm…unorthodox, so I think it only fair –to tell you that…"

"Sparky?" Puck wondered softly as his lips stopped their amorous endeavors for the moment as they hovered in waiting for the next kiss. She nodded in a euphoric daze to acknowledge that she was coherent and NOT the puddle of mush that she closely resembled at that point. The thought and emotion he knew he had to spit out at that point seemed insane. Crazy. Definitely not possible in any other world, but it was there, like it had always been there and he couldn't help but have the words spilling from his lips. He smiled at her softly and said with all the honesty in the world, "I love you."

"That's what I was trying to say," Rachel whispered, knowing that it was probably the craziest thing she had ever heard, but staring down at those beautifully earnest, yearning hazel eyes, she couldn't help but believe in them inherently. It felt as if those eyes had been professing love for her for centuries at that point. He rubbed his nose against hers and she couldn't help but sigh deliriously before whispering, "I love you, too."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

This was a departure. (I feel like I say that a lot in this story. It's chapter after chapter of departures). And I'm sorry there isn't any supernatural elements here, but I hope you don't mind what was in there. People on tumblr were clued into what I was typing yesterday since I spammed a couple Finncedes pictures. Speaking of pictures, how's that flaming Puck picture going? I need photoshop genuisi in my life.

Thanks so much, as usual for being totally awesome. I adore my readers. Next chapter title (this time I promise I have it right)...

Chapter 21 – "Tina Would Put Her Hand On a Blade For You."


	21. Chapter 21

Hello! I'm so much later than I normally am. I'm sorry! I ran out of reserve chapters and had to type this up from scratch. I got distracted last night playing with character images.

You wanna see them? Go to cassprincess DOT tumblr Dot com

You won't be sorry. I have a firePuck picture! 3

This chapter title is taken from Bruno Mars "Grenade", which is one of my new favorite songs. The whole CD is awesome, actually. Thanks as always for being the most awesome Glee fanfic readers ever. I'll see you tomorrow with a new action packed chapter.

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**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 21 – "Tina'd Put Her Hand on a Blade For You"_

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Friendship is a miraculous thing. The speed can be planted within seconds. It can bloom into the most powerful and resilient tree in mere moments. It can be planted in the driest of dirt, the most harsh of conditions, the most inhospitable of environments and still, with the proper seed, it will flourish._

_Once fully grown, it can carry the heaviest of burdens. Pain, death, betrayal. It doesn't matter. It will always be there, in the most surprising of ways, even when you least expect it to be._

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"Are we all adequately prepared?" Rachel asked in her most professional tone as she surveyed her team carefully. The half-hour of preparation that Quinn had suggested earlier had been one of the best ideas that any of them had ever had. Gone were the dejected and depressed faces of the Gleeks and in their place were faces of determination, tenacity and hope.

"Sparky, I got so prepared that I can still feel my toes tingling," Santana smirked lazily, her hair clearly rumpled in the same manner that Artie's and Brittany's were. Their unholy trifecta was evidenced by the three of them with their pinkies linked. "Although don't be jealous, I'd still go and prepare the hell out of you, if you wanted."

"Back off, Ariel," Puck rolled his eyes, before settling in on Artie's blissful face and giving his bro a mental high five. Artie seemed to know what he was doing and his head bobbed up and down ever so slowly as a prideful grin broke out on his face. He looked to Rachel and could feel her thoughts straying into a quick recap of what Artie, Brittany and Santana had done in preparations for their little mission. He nudged her side a bit and raised an eyebrow before beaming his thought to her. _You know, unless you could be persuaded a little down the line, if you ever get bored-_

_Highly unlikely, Noah_. Rachel almost laughed at the idea, knowing that he had seen the same things as she had. She doubted she would ever get bored of that.

_Still…I know Satan-a would be willing. Probably Brittany too. But you know that I was never really good with sharing, so…_

"Stop doing that!" Tina smacked the back of Puck's head suddenly. She leveled a withering glare at his mask of sudden innocence and shrewdly assessed, "Rae's ears are turning red. You guys are thinking nasty thoughts again."

"Can you turn that part of your brain off for like, two seconds, Sex Shark?" Mercedes wondered ruefully. "We're supposed to be getting ready for the ultimate showdown."

"I'm _so_ ready to punch Jerky in the face and see if his nose stays broken," Puck grinned happily to himself. He looked to Tina curiously and wondered, "It hurts every time you heal, right?"

"It's fucking insanely painful," Tina promised.

"Then I'm all good, either way there's pain," Puck shrugged.

"Are we blipping out?" Sam wondered, looking at the broken stair that would have lead them up to the McKinley gymnasium.

"No, we should conserve the group's energy," Rachel insisted. "We may need it."

"I got it," Kurt promised, staring at the machine that had been disabled by the government agents when they had rushed away from their capture mission. He focused on the machine and his very clear need for it to be working. Ten seconds passed before the stair creekily made its way down. He sighed and shrugged resignedly, "It's the best I can do. I wouldn't trust it with more than one person at this point. Finn?"

"Got it," Finn nodded, stepping on the lift before it slowly and shakily made its way to the top where the doors leading to their escape remained closed. Finn reached out his hands and pushed with all of his considerable strength, until a large popping sound suddenly echoed throughout the underground facility as he literally broke the doors completely, pushing the steel through the wood floors of the gym.

Once the echoing noise of broken wood planks clattering upstairs, Mike began stretching people up to the exit, as Sam began to fly everyone up one at a time as well. They were on the floor of the gym in no time and looked around warily. Becky rushed into the gymnasium, even though they were pretty sure it was a Sunday evening at that point.

"What the heck have you done?" Becky demanded angrily, looking down at the ruined McKinley High Titans logo in the middle of the gym floor. "Coach is not going to like this, guys."

"Sorry Becky," Brittany apologized sincerely. "We were stuck down there."

"Coach hasn't gotten in touch with me for hours," Becky revealed suddenly. "Are you guys going to go and rescue her?"

"That's the plan," Brittany grinned.

"Try not to get yourselves killed," Becky sighed in resignation before reaching for her Blackberry in her back pocket. She began thumbing through her contacts, anxious to find the proper repairmen for this particular situation. "Those mean government guys can't be too far away."

"Thanks, Becky!" Brittany waved goodbye cheerfully as the rest of the Gleeks waved goodbye as well.

"Are you guys really ready to go out again? I mean…our track record outside is pretty much disaster," Mercedes said to no one in particular as they began walking towards the emergency exits of the gym.

"We don't really have a choice," Quinn shrugged. "I mean, we weren't given a choice during the master planning session."

"We're going to be okay," Sam promised. "We're all going to be fine."

They still paused as a group, Puck with his hands on the door, hesitating for a second. They had been relatively safe under the school, that much was true. They had defended their new home well, with little effort on anyone's part but Stubbs. But when the people that were trying to _protect them_ were in danger, well, that left very little choice. He pushed on the door and they were suddenly assaulted with the cool, crisp December air.

"No explosions yet, that's a good sign," Blaine nodded happily as they all walked out of the school, Brittany pushing Artie along with the group. "I mean, I thought there'd be heavy artillery waiting out here for us."

"You're totally jinxing it, shut up, Blaine!" Quinn hissed at the boy.

"No explosion yet," Blaine took another step. "Still not exploded." Another step. "Nope, all in one piece." Another step and he looked to Puck with a smirk, "Hey big guy, you feel fire around here from any explosions?"

"Nope," Puck smirked as Quinn glared daggers at Blaine in her trademark annoyance.

"Still good, no-" Blaine kept mocking Quinn's theory until she couldn't take it anymore and launched herself at him, her hands over his mouth as he kept trying to annoy her through muffled reassurances of there not being any explosions yet.

"No offense, Kurt, but I'm going to maim your boyfriend!" Quinn promised, her voice low and dangerous even though there was a hint of a smile playing at her lips.

"Leave the good parts," Mercedes demanded as Kurt suddenly became mute as his face turned a lovely tomato red. She pinched her friends arm as his eyes still became large and saucer-like.

"Nothing to explode here," Mike announced jovially, causing Quinn to let go of Blaine and chase him. She quickly discovered that it wasn't quite the easiest thing in the world to chase a person who could bend their whole body away from you.

"All good still, no explosions!" Brittany called out helpfully. She furrowed her brow when Quinn turned on her heal and went after her. "Why are you mad? I thought we were playing a game of find the explosion?"

"Clear of explosions, still!" Sam called out, his eyes lighting up in definite delight and anticipation as Quinn refocused all of her attention back to him, jumping on his back and wrapping her arms around his throat in a playful strangling hold.

"You're such a nerd!" Quinn accused with a happy giggle.

"We almost look normal," Rachel whispered to Puck. He smiled down at her in question and she shrugged, "I mean, we're just a bunch of kids leaving the school, goofing off. It's nice."

"It's normal," Puck nodded.

"I've never been normal before," Rachel admitted sadly. She shivered slightly and let her hands fidget with the end of her scarf. "It took becoming extraordinary to get to normal."

"YOU aren't normal, you're always extraordinary," Puck wrapped an arm around her, warming her up instantaneously.

"Cheesy bastard," Santana muttered from right next to Rachel. She slipped her hand over Rachel's and squeezed. "So, what do you say Sparkplug? I think we should set up a schedule. You like schedules right? I mean, they make you hot…"

"Being organized and prepared for any and all situations is very important to me, Santana," Rachel admitted, her voice slightly coy and flirty as she spared a glance up at Puck's amused and altogether suddenly annoyed visage. "I enjoy arriving promptly."

"Arriving," Brittany giggled before she bent down to whisper an explanation in a confused Artie's ear.

"THE VAN!" Mike yelled. He laughed and bounded towards the church van that was parked twenty feet away from where the Gleeks were. "Pastor Wen totally did us a solid, baby, he left us keep the van! We can drive to Jesse St. Bunghole's house now, right?"

"Asian drivers suck!" Puck coughed. A small, but powerful fist found the side of his face with an undeniable amount of force. "OW!"

Tina unclenched her fist with some amount of pain before shaking her hand and allowing the bones to fall back into place, "You have the hardest head, ever. I think you broke my knuckles."

"_You_ broke your knuckles on his head," Finn clarified helpfully.

"I suppose you learn to make these distinctions after the first twenty times you accidentally broke something of yours by hitting something of Puck's?" Kurt wondered sarcastically of his step-brother. He hadn't been cohabitating with Finn long before he realized that the emergency room visits alone were the reason health insurance was failing in the United States. The rest of the Gleek's joined a ridiculously excited Mike at the van and Kurt scrutinized it carefully. He shrugged and looked to Rachel to report, "The van is totally functional and there are no bombs on it, so I don't see why we can't use it."

"Do you mean to say that its-" Blaine paused dramatically and looked to Quinn specifically his eyes turning slightly maniacal, "EXPLOSION FREE?"

"Once we're inside the warm van, I'm going to hold you down and pluck your precious eyebrows into thin strips," Quinn muttered. She looked around at the assembled group and demanded, "Why aren't we in the warm car? Not everyone's boyfriend is a furnace heater, Rachel."

"Oh you know, maybe because I died the first time by being thrown through the stupid windshield?" Tina scoffed. Everyone grew very serious and quiet very quickly until Tina rolled her eyes and laughed, "I'm kidding. It's freezing out here, let's drive, _please_."

Kurt mentally asked for the locks to pop and everyone clamored into the van. Puck hotwired the car for Mike and looked around at the twelve faces of the Gleek's, seeing that some were curious or surprised. He shrugged and said, "Uhm, I'm Puck? Have we met?"

"Let's roll people!" Blaine called out anxiously. "I could have been there and back like, fifty times by now."

"You should have more patience," Finn lectured sternly, giving his best glare to his step-brother's _maybe_ boyfriend. "Kurt likes patience."

"If you don't stop talking right now, I'm going to make Tina break her hand on your face this time," Kurt hissed at Finn.

"I'm just saying," Finn shrugged at Kurt innocently until the boy looked away and he spared one quick suspicious angry glare at Blaine again.

Mercedes giggled besides Finn and poked at his arm. He wrapped an arm around her and swiftly pulled her closer to him on the bucket seat. They settled in quietly and observed the rest of the Gleek's who were blissfully unaware of the slight, innocent cuddling in the backseat of the van as they rumbled down the road. Tina was being a good sport and sitting in the front seat next to Mike as he drove down the road as carefully as possible, obviously not wanting to earn a permanent reputation as a sucky driver. Asian or not.

Puck had Rachel in his lap in the row behind the driver's seat. Santana was squished next to them, and Brittany was happily sitting in Artie's chair. Blaine and Kurt sat next to each other and right beside a still playful Quinn and Sam. They looked like they were just going to another school function. They didn't even resemble the group of supernaturally gifted young people that they were.

"Quinn?" Brittany asked suddenly.

"Yeah, B?" Quinn wondered as Sam placed tickling kisses on her jawline.

"Are we still playing that game?" Brittany wondered.

"What game?" Quinn furrowed her brow.

"You know…explosion?" Brittany shrugged. "Cause Artie just said there's going to be one, and I'd like to win the game."

"STOP THE VAN!" Tina yelled. She squeaked as Mike immediately complied. She took one moment to look back at everyone and barked out her orders in her most commanding tone, "Stay here, Quinn, force field the hell up!"

Tina hopped out of the car and stood in front of it as she squinted into the distance. True enough, a block and a half down the street were a line of black SUV's heading their way. She saw the streetlights glinting off of a small, circular metal object and she swallowed in sudden nervousness, but stood her ground as it landed in front of her.

"So that's what a real grenade looks like," Tina shrugged, before pulling back her leg immediately and kicking with as much force as she could muster. Thank God for all of those martial arts classes her dad made her take no matter how many times her five year old self had complained about it being _completely_ stereotypical.

"What the hell is she doing?" Puck demanded, standing with Rachel awkwardly in the van as he tried to make his way to the door. He found that he couldn't make his way out due to the strength of Quinn's force field and he stared back at her, "Open up Fabray!"

"Tina said…" Quinn began, but was quickly cut off by the sound of the grenade Tina had kicked away from the van explode less than twenty yards away.

"MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER!" Tina shouted in equal parts annoyance and pain. "I'm gonna kick some government balls. Just wait until those bastard shitheads get close enough for me to fucking OBLITERATE their testicles!"

"LET ME OUT FABRAY!" Puck roared, as Mike squeezed his way past and started banging on the blue bubble that protected the van.

"Q?" Brittany questioned as Artie shook in his seat. She nodded in understanding and looked back at Quinn as she was clearly torn on following Tina's selfless request and helping out. "It's okay…she can't do it alone, even if she thinks she can…"

"Giddy up, fuckers," Santana said, pushing at both Puck and Mike to get out of the van and the bubble. "Time to kick some ass."

"Here comes another one!" Sam shouted as he stared into the distance.

Quinn's resolve broke and Mike was out of the van in an instant, bending his body so that it was next to Tina's. Puck followed quickly as well as Santana. Rachel followed and stood behind Puck, placing a hand on his back as they instantly came up with a way to deal with the grenade. He held a hand out and concentrated for one intense second before the grenade blew up prematurely in the air, a much better distance away than the first.

Santana pushed at one of the nearby fire hydrants and extinguished the flames that floated in the air before they could land on anything incredibly flammable.

"What are you assholes doing? I said stay in the fucking van!" Tina yelled, as she winced from the pain of her skin healing over her new burns.

"Tina?" Rachel questioned primly as Santana was still at work with the water from the hydrant, causing an icy slick to extend on the ground in front of them, offering them a booby trap of sorts.

"Yeah, Rae?" Tina huffed.

Rachel smiled and shrugged, knowing at that point there was only one language her friend would understand. They weren't leaving her face this alone. "Shut the HELL up!"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Jesse will eventually be found and gotten to, promise. There's a little fun to be had before that though. I hope you enjoyed tonight's chapter. I hope to add more banners to my tumblr soon. Have a wonderful night and look tomorrow for...

Chapter 22 – "This Is A Dance For All The Heroes, Taking A Chance With One Another"


	22. Chapter 22

Howdy ho, people! Here be the latest installment of my crazy little story. SUPER DUPER ACTION.

I almost forgot, the lyrics are taken from Plain White T's "Our Time Now".

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 22 – "This Is A Dance For All The Heroes, Taking A Chance With One Another"_

_

* * *

Humans spend 78% of their time perfecting one specific skill set. 10% of their time is spent waiting, mostly by sitting in traffic or in line for some sort of book release, movie release or food. The other 2% is merely living. _

_These statistics may seem overblown or exaggerated, but they are most assuredly not. One can imagine an Olympic athlete or professional musician spending 78% of their time perfecting one specific thing that they do. But the statistics hold true for 86% if human beings. They will spend an inordinate amount of time practicing and refining their specific skill. It could be washing dishes. It could be inputting random digits into a keypad. It could be flossing._

_A set of high school students who aren't exactly the epitome of popularity any longer have developed one skill set exceptionally. Survive no matter what.  
_

* * *

"Incoming!" Sam shouted, hovering above the van a good ten feet as he kept a strategic eye on the action.

"GOT IT!"

Puck and Santana called dibs at the exact same moment and took one moment to glare at each other with an almost identical look of annoyance. Their alpha dog posturing lasted one second too long and Rachel blew out an exasperated breath and put a hand on both of their shoulders, the touch was all she needed to commandeer the both of them and their hands shot out simultaneously, with the grenade imploding half a second before the icy water doused the entirety of the fire.

"Was that so very difficult, children?" Rachel wondered with a large amount of false patience.

"We totally click together in the heat of battle or whatever this is," Santana said suggestively. "We should see if that translates into the bedroom."

"Santana," Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, I'm cool with the kitchen…bathroom…hallway…back seat of Pastor Wen's van," Santana shrugged.

"HEY! I have dibs on Pastor Wen's van!" Puck grumbled "Three's a crowd in vehicles, Lopez. You _know_ _this_ from experience."

"Yeah, it's uncomfortable when the seat belts dig into my back," Brittany agreed from the side of the van, where she was currently trying to re-wire Mercedes' confiscated cell phone, the radio from Pastor Wen's van and a flare gun she had found in the roadside emergency kit in the backseat. Artie mumbled something in Latin and she announced happily, "They're done throwing bombs now…"

"They're too close to throw bombs," Mercedes shrugged. She watched as the trucks began to roll over the beginning of Santana's icy booby trap, slipping and sliding and slowing down, but not one of the SUV's crashed or was incapacitated at all.

"Then we should start throwing bombs at them," Finn said suddenly. He walked behind the van and made a small grunting sound. He reappeared carrying a motorcycle with a big grin on his face. He turned his goofy face towards Puck and wondered, "This'd make a good bomb, right?"

"Hell yeah, Frankenteen," Puck chuckled.

"I should probably call 911," Kurt whispered to no one in particular.

"Brittany took our phones," Blaine whispered back. He looked to Kurt curiously then to Rachel quickly. "I have an idea. It's not as spectacular as throwing bombs made out of motorcycles, but I'm thinking it would be damned effective."

Rachel raised a brow as she invaded Blaine's thought, a slow smile forming across her face. She began to grin in earnest and nodded eagerly, "Just panic if you need backup. We'll set up diversionary tactics on our end."

"What's more diversionary than a flaming motorcycle bomb?" Puck guffawed unattractively as Finn began counting down from five. He held out a hand and concentrated as hard as he could. He reached his free hand back to grab Rachel's for an extra power boost and accidentally squeezed the holy land.

"NOAH PUCKERMAN!" Rachel squeaked as he didn't immediately withdraw his offensive hands.

"Righteous score, fire guy," Blaine laughed before looking down an carefully seeking out Kurt's _hand_ instead of his rear end. He flashed a thumbs up Puck's way before zipping out with Kurt in tow.

"Three!" Finn yelled, flexing his muscles as he held the motorcycle above his head as if it weighed little more than a stack of text books.

"Noah! HANDS!" Rachel hissed at him.

"Hey! I want an extra Rachel boost too!" Santana stomped her foot jealously as she worked at controlling the water from the hydrant,

"I should really have it more, I'm working on inventing technology that hasn't been invented yet," Brittany muttered as she continued to rewire the cell phones, her fingers moving so rapidly that it looked as if she might have been gifted with a new superpower.

"TWO!" Finn called out.

"Noah, _stop it_!" Rachel whined, although she couldn't deny that the feel he was currently copping felt just right. He squeezed playfully and she gasped, slapping at his hand in earnest so that he didn't completely have her flying off her hinges in front of her friends and in the heat of battle.

"ONE!" Finn shouted before tossing the motorcycle effortlessly.

Puck watched it soar through the air and ignored Rachel's protests as best as he could until the motorcycle was directly in front of the line of SUV's that were steadily trying to get closer to them. He felt an explosive thump through his heart and a small, concentrated ball of fire exploded from the palm of his hand, zooming towards the airborne motorcycle's gasoline tank. Three seconds later they had an impressive explosion that stopped every one of the vehicles in their tracks.

"Santana, Kurt and Blaine could use a little more time with the horrid government personnel in their car," Rachel requested politely.

"No probs, Sparkplug," Santana confidently said as she strode to their front line. She held out a long line of water from the hydrant with her right hand effortlessly. She reached her left hand out and placed it on Rachel's rear end affectionately as she smirked, "Berry Power Boost!"

Before Rachel could protest or Puck could complain about Santana's grabby hands, the Cheerio pushed her considerable lasso of water towards the cars. The water streamed endlessly from the busted hydrant, thousands of gallons of the stuff obeying Santana's will as it rushed towards the enemy. She extinguished the flames of Puck and Finn's homemade bomb, causing smoke to blanket the cars in a thick gray fog before she let the water coat the cars, freezing layer after layer until they were trapped inside a cocoon of ice.

"That was really well done, Santana," Artie complimented.

"Thanks, Wheels," Santana winked at him before finally removing her hand from Rachel's perfect ass and hopping on Artie's lap. "What next?"

"Blaine and Kurt are working on incapacitating any and all technology that these people have," Rachel explained. She shut her eyes momentarily in intense concentration before opening them again with a big smile on her face, "Their tazers are taken care of, their forms of communication are out. The only thing they have are guns."

"Mother fucker," Tina complained under her breath. She gave Mike a shrug and a reluctant smile.

"We should have bullet proof vests," Mercedes suggested.

"I can do that," Quinn realized suddenly. She walked up to Mercedes and placed both of her hands on the girl's shoulders. Slowly the beautiful blue sparkling energy transferred from Quinn's hands to Mercedes' body, forming a glowing blue vest. The girls grinned at each other and Quinn managed a humble shrug before explaining, "It won't last long if I have to put it on everybody…but it'll be pretty effective if they get out of their cars."

"Four of them are out of their cars now!" Sam called from his bird's eye view.

"Sam! Go and drop these back there!" Brittany yelled out, tossing the two homemade devices she had made. "Right in front of the bad guys. Rach, tell Kurt and Blaine to cover their ears and shut their eyes."

"Done," Rachel nodded.

"And done," Sam grinned as he zipped off to drop off Brittany's precious cargo.

"Mercy, can you see the water pipes under the ground?" Santana wondered.

"What do water pipes look like?" Mercedes shrugged, looking at the street carefully. Her heart beat fluttered as the macadam blipped out of her focus and she viewed what was underneath, a literal jungle of jumbled pipes.

"Sewage pipes, water pipes, slushee pipes…anything with liquid would be good," Santana shrugged indiscriminately. She looked to Mike curiously and said, "Does Pastor Wen have like, something Finn could use to punch holes into cement."

"He's got a crow bar," Mike offered helpfully.

"Can you bend him over there if I keep the fog up?" Santana demanded. She reached out her hand towards Rachel again and sing-songed obnoxiously, "POWER BOOST!"

"HANDS on HANDS, Santana!" Rachel insisted shrilly.

"But the ass is so much more fun to put my hands on," Santana pouted.

"Kurt and Blaine need me right now too, and Mike and Finn!" Rachel countered as she gripped Santana's hand. She concentrated on Sam and got a vision of what was going on from high above.

Kurt and Blaine were rushing backwards, away from the vans as four men clamored out of their own car. They turned their backs and put their hands over their ears as Rachel instructed as Sam dropped Brittany's gifts. Sam took Rachel's internal suggestions and zoomed up higher in the air as quickly as he could as the makeshift battle devices activated on the ground in front of the enemy. A large flash of light from the device was so very bright that they were immediately blinded. Just as their hands went for their eyes, a high pitched, obnoxious squealing noise emitted from the devices, causing their hands to go up for their ears and the men to stumble.

"Take em out, Finny-D," Puck said aloud, still knowing that the boy could hear him through the connection Rachel had opened up between them all. All suggestions and advice had been flowing between all the Gleek's brains all night.

Mike finished stretching Finn over and came back for Tina, and between the three of them, it took exactly 90 seconds to incapacitate Kurt and Blaine's potential attackers. Finn took out the legs of one with the crowbar, causing him to fly up into the air and fall back down on his back onto the concrete with such force that the air and consciousness was knocked right out of him. Finn went to the ice encased cars and looked back to Mercedes for instructions on where to strike.

Tina and Mike took on the other three guys together, Tina was a flurry of fists and legs as Mike bent his body around each one, causing the already blinded and newly deaf men to fall to the ground. He pushed each one to Tina separately as his limbs stretched and deftly avoided any retaliatory physical attacks.

"I TOLD YOU FUCKERS I WAS GOING TO OBLITERATE YOUR BALLS!" Tina yelled as loudly as she could, knowing that it would have been hard for the men to hear at that point. Kurt and Blaine re-advanced upon the vans, and watched in discomfort as Tina alternated between punching faces and forcefully kicking groins with all her strength.

"Is it any wonder that we're both gay when we're surrounded by all of these lovely women?" Kurt asked sarcastically. He shook his head as Blaine went to help Mike and Tina restrain the escaped, howling in pain government agents. Kurt went back to the cars and focused on the machines, wishing and commanding with all of his might for every last one of them to _not_ work.

Blaine reached into the jacket of one of the guys who was gripping his manhood even in his unconscious state and pulled out a bunch of the plastic strips that police used as quick and easy handcuffs. He grinned as he began tying hands together, "You know, I once was handcuffed like this at a rally for peace. It makes me super duper happy to return the favor."

"We got another bunch that escaped!" Sam called out as he zoomed back to Pastor Wen's van and picked up Puck.

"Good, I haven't decimated enough manhood tonight," Tina smirked, going towards the car whose drivers side door had managed to open. Santana beat her too it however, causing a violent spray of water to explode from the hole in the ground that Finn had made, having it act as an effective fire hose in pushing the escapee off of the ground and a few feet from the car.

Finn grinned down at him with the crowbar in his hand and saw the fear in the guy's eyes. The tall giant of a boy furrowed his brow and saw that the agent was staring at the menacing crow bar. He smiled in a reassuring manner and promised, "I'm not going to hit you with the crow bar. That'd be bad."

The agent seemed relieved, until Finn picked him up by the back of his pants, giving him an unintentional, massive wedgie. He chuckled excitedly and said, "I am going to throw you to Tina, though. She'll probably be in a wicked good mood with the more guys she gets to beat up."

Finn tossed the guy in the air, having him landed sprawled out and vulnerable in front of a ridiculously happy Tina. She smirked at Mike and said, "I'm really glad my dad made me take all of those karate classes."

"Me too, sweetie," Mike grinned.

"Come on fucktards, it's fire time!" Puck announced with maniacal glee as both of his fists lit up. He followed the sprays of water that Santana released from underneath the ground and found another escaped government agent. "Whassup, asshammer? You got a choice? Do you want your manhood decimated by the Gothic Fists of Fury over there, or do you want me to light your underpants on fire?"

"Dibs!" Sam called out from above the truck, He gripped the guy in a headlock and zoomed upwards with the struggling man. He zoomed at least five blocks away in the span of three seconds, dropping the dude off on the nearby Lima water tower before zipping back to the scene. He evaded a fire ball that was tossed into the air.

"Evans you trolly bastard! You stole my victim!" Puck howled from below. He heard a spray of water and his face lit up. "Never mind, I got one!"

Rachel observed from her place next to Quinn and Mercedes, with Artie and Brittany directly behind them. Santana was closer to the action in order to see who her next water and/or sewage victim would be. She sprayed Finn in the behind just once for kicks before focusing back on their attackers who were quickly being converted into their helpless victims.

Artie began to shake very suddenly and Brittany looked at him very carefully and intently, ready to translate any and all premonitions or instructions he had. Artie pointed behind them, towards the school that they had just left. His premonition didn't come out in Latin this time, but one name fell from his lips in a gravely, low whisper.

"_Jesse_."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I'm a nerd, but I love my crazy superheros and their crazy plans of sort of humanely dealing with the people who want to kidnap them. Seriously, if it wasn't Rachel calling the shots, I think the boys and Tina would have probably accidentally killed a few of them by this point.

Next chapter...what could Jesse be doing approaching all of those super powered Gleeks? Puck's totally going to set his underwear on fire.

Chapter 23 – "Hello, My Almost Lover"


	23. Chapter 23

Moving right along. Much love to the 45 states that currently have snow. And super much love and prayer towards the Aussies dealing with the floods.

This chapter lyric is taken from A Fine Frenzy's "Almost Lover".

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* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 23 – "Hello, My Almost Lover"_

_

* * *

There are some people in this world who will never be able to attain that which they truly want. They will try in earnest to go after that which they desire and every time they will come up completely empty handed. There are a few truly blessed people in this world who obtain everything that they have ever desired. Wealth, fame, respect, love. They don't have to try, they simply hold their hands out to the universe expectantly and the universe responds in kind, filling their smug, greedy and incredibly fortunate hands with all that they could possibly want and so much more. _

_Then there are the people who have everything but that one last little thing. They've received an abundance from the universe to be sure, but there is always that tiny piece missing. And sometimes, that last little thing is the most important of all._

* * *

"Jesse St. Whatshisname is coming up from behind us," Brittany needlessly translated Artie's premonition, completely ignoring the fact that it hadn't come out in Latin. She smiled between Quinn, Mercedes and Rachel before furrowing her brow in confusion and asking, "No, seriously, what's his name? Because everyone keeps changing it, so I'm a little confused. It really isn't St. Douchenozzle like Puck said, right? Because if so, I'd be evil too."

"We don't know if he's evil yet," Mercedes shrugged, looking to Rachel warily.

"Let's find out," Santana shrugged, turning her back on the battle that they were clearly winning as she ran with sudden speed toward the school. Rachel threw her an astonished look and was surprised to see more than just a playful and mischievous smirk on Santana's face. She looked _angry_.

"LOPEZ! They still need help out there!" Quinn yelled as Santana sped away from them.

"We ran out of bad guys to tie up," Puck declared as Blaine blinked he and Kurt back.

"Don't tell that to Tina, she's still contenting herself with fast and furious ball destroying," Blaine winced slightly.

"Where'd the Little Mermaid go?" Puck demanded. He was answered by Artie's shaking and mumbling Latin into Brittany's ears.

Brittany's eyes widened and she looked around as the rest of the Gleek's arrived back at the van from their worthwhile and successful endeavors. She turned to Rachel first and said uncertainly, "I think we should probably go and stop Santana now."

* * *

Santana ran so fast towards the direction Artie had pointed in that she the muscles in her thighs and calves were burning. She skidded to a stop and saw him walking towards her, his hands securing a bulky box and a large athletic equipment bag. She arched an eyebrow and tried to block Rachel out as the tiny Sparkplug midget began _screaming_ in her mind.

She looked around at her surroundings and spotted the nearest hydrant and wasted no time in forcing the water that had been contained underneath it through its top. She felt a small delight as Jesse jumped and dropped the things he had been holding. What he did next however, was a surprise. Instead of panic at the sight of water…_rushing_ _towards him_, he stood and watched it in fascinated and respectful amazement. His eyes darted slightly as a wide and appreciative grin broke out on his face for who was causing it.

His eyes met Santana's squinting, angry ones and he took a moment's pause in his fascination, but the water was now pushing against his legs, immediately freezing him in his spot. His pause was immediately replaced with the enchanted fascination as he watched ice encase his feet and start moving upwards.

"Sup?" Santana asked nonchalantly.

"This is _remarkable_," Jesse exclaimed, his voice full of quiet astonishment as the ice grew larger and encased more of his body.

"Yup, you're definitely evil," Santana said lowly. "I knew there was a reason you turned me down last year after that whole Run Pucky Run incident. I was good enough to fool around with after our invitational before you met Rachel though. And it was because you were a big , bad evil, with a big bad hard on for Rachel Berry's great great grandmommy."

"That's really cold," Jesse said in a slightly higher register as the ice made it to his waist level. His teeth began to chatter and he shook his head as he looked back up at Santana curiously. "You think I'm evil?"

"You turned down a chance at seven minutes in heaven with me last year. And that was AFTER experiencing it the first go around. OF COURSE you're evil," Santana scoffed. "Normal humans can't resist all of this jelly."

"So you're going to f-f-f-freeze me," Jesse wondered. "Because I told you I wasn't interested in hooking up with you a year ago?"

"I'm a pretty vengeful person," Santana smirked. "Just so you know? Rachel Berry is my homegirl now, so I'm also doing this because 1) you're a creepy stalker and 2) you threw eggs at her."

She paused and admired her glacial handiwork with a vindictive smirk plastered on her face. The ice was now mid-torso and she slowed her work as she heard the roar of Pastor Wen's van rumbling down the road.

"You should be happy I didn't let Puck come and get you," Santana offered as she turned around to face the Gleek's that were clamoring to get out of the van that was clearly still in the process of stopping. She smiled at them winningly and said, "I've got it taken care of!"

"Step away from the mansicle, Frosty," Puck ordered as he rushed by her and held out his hands and used the fire like a blow torch as he melted the ice Santana had formed from the bottom up.

"What the fuck, Matchstick?" Santana slapped at his arms. "I worked hard on that ice. Stop melting it!"

She hit Puck's arm a little too angrily and the line of fire that he had been controlling so well swerved, and before any of them could do anything, the flames lapped at the front of Jesse's shirt, igniting even though it was soaked with icy water. He screamed out in sudden agony as the fire lapped at his skin before Santana instinctively pushed water against him in order to stop the fire.

Everyone watched as Puck finished melting Jesse's icy tomb and Jesse fell forward, teeth chattering. Finn was out of the van at that point and supported the young man, who was somewhere between frozen half to death and burnt to a cinder. The bare skin that was exposed due to the materialized shirt was raw and red. Santana blinked hopefully, eager to see that green light they had seen in Rachel's foray into the past, but it never came. Jesse winced painfully as Kurt came out with a first aid kit and began attending to his wounds.

"I told you Artie saw that he didn't heal," Brittany smiled at everyone triumphantly. She patted at Santana's shoulder soothingly and said, "Santana was just in a hurry to say hey. Did you freeze him because he didn't kiss you again?"

"I'm sorry…what?" Quinn furrowed her brow between Santana, Jesse and Rachel. "Kiss you AGAIN?"

"What's going on here, Jesse?" Rachel wondered, doing her best to ignore the impending doom between the girls. She may not always be able to manipulate a view into the future like Artie, but seeing and feeling their thoughts sometimes put her ahead of the game regardless. Instead of focusing on the cat fight that was about to occur over the boy who had dumped her and an egg on her head, she bent over to look at the box and bag that had been dropped once Santana had started to freeze him.

"Oh, bitch, don't tell me you did it too! That Overly Permed SLUT!" Santana laughed. She looked back and pointed at a burnt AND freezing Jesse and said, "I was going to feel bad for you being all burnt and NOT immortal and shit, but HEEEELLL no. You're a manwhore!"

"I'm -not…." Jesses' teeth chattered anxiously.

"Did you or did you not make out with me last year before you transferred to McKinley?" Quinn hissed. "You set it up, didn't you? You set up a little meet-cute outside of the dairy queen and wanted to make out with McKinley girls or something…"

"He approached me after an away basketball game and we made out," Santana accused. "Then when I wanted to do it again he was all cuckoo for Berry's crazy puffs. No offense, Sparky."

"None taken," Rachel said calmly, as she looked at a curious Puck with a shrug and a small smile.

"You approached me at karate two years ago!" Tina squealed, pointing an accusatory finger at Jesse. "You were shorter and your hair was ridiculously straight but…"

"Okay, is there anyone here who Jesse hasn't tried to make out with in the last three years?" Mercedes demanded. Every male hand went up immediately, but no female hands raised. Mercedes crossed her arms over her chest, and leveled him with a glare. "Don't think I don't remember Jesus camp three summers ago, white boy. Fess up."

Finn nudged Jesse's shoulder and gave him a glare as Puck and the rest of the boys looked at Jesse in appraisal. Jesse winced as Kurt finished up the first aid in a non too delicate manner. He looked between all the girls with a sad smile before his eyes fell on Rachel.

"I was trying to figure stuff out," he admitted.

"Did you figure out that you ARE a douche nozzle?" Brittany wondered curiously. "Because I'm really becoming a believer."

"I wanted to know which one of you was the descendent of the original Mind," Jesse admitted truthfully.

"Because you're the freaky deaky Immortal and want to kill us all?" Santana demanded.

"I think that I have second degree burns that would suggest otherwise!" Jesse argued. "Not to mention frostbite."

"Yeah well we'll see if I can't make that frostbite so bad _something_ needs to be cut off!" Santana growled, immediately commanding a lasso of water into her hands.

"We should really go somewhere else to discuss this," Blaine interjected helpfully. "I mean, those guys can't stay incapacitated forever."

"Should we go back to the school?" Kurt wondered.

"NO!" Jesse insisted strongly. "No, the school is compromised now…I know a place…"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

What the hell was Jesse up to smacking lips with ALL of the Glee ladies once he settled on Rachel? I think you'd be surprised at the reason, which will be posted tomorrow, with,

Chapter 24 – "I'm Not a Hero But I Do What I Gotta Do"


	24. Chapter 24

Hello and happy Thursday to all of you lovelies. Who is going to see the Green Hornet this weekend? I'm going on Saturday and am so excited. The previews look totally enjoyable, although I would have thought this would have been a good summer drive-in movie popcorn flick instead. I'll let everyone know what I think.

Thanks as always for being awesome and superawesome.

The chapter title lyric is taken from Cobra Starship's "Pete Wentz is the Only Reason We're Famous".

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 24 – "I'm Not a Hero But I Do What I Gotta Do"_

_

* * *

Everyone has that day in their childhood or adolescence when they wake up at a ridiculous hour that was decided upon by a person who obviously understood nothing about the physiology of a growing human and you wish for nothing more than a snow day._

_There could be half an inch of snow on the ground, or maybe even just rain, but you only want the powers in charge of your education to call into the local radio station and give you the greatest gift to have ever been given. Never mind that you live in Hawaii or Florida or Southern California. You've heard about snow days on the national news. You've seen Disney movies dedicated to the subject. _

_You'll never get that snow day, though. Not when you want it at least. Especially when the snow day is a metaphor.  
_

_

* * *

_

"Are we there yet?" Finn called out obnoxiously from the back seat of the van where he sat with Mercedes, Sam and Quinn.

"Seriously, we've been driving FOREVER!" Blaine whined from the next row up, where he sat with Kurt, Tina and Brittany. Artie's chair sat in the designated space of the handicap-able van next to Brittany.

"We've been driving for exactly twenty-two minutes, Blaine. That hardly qualifies as _forever_," Rachel corrected him from the next row where she sat sandwiched between Puck and Santana.

"It's forever for a person who can blink himself through space, like, instantly," Brittany helpfully clarified.

"I'm sorry, but why are we trusting the kiss slut with our destination, again?" Santana demanded huffily. "How do we know that he's not taking us to an abandoned farm house to try and shoot a creepy gang bang porno?"

"Because Sparky read his mind and I tagged along. Dude's legit. Super weird and I still want to punch his nose in, but it's legit, Satan-a. So stop being a whiner," Puck grumbled as he sat next to Rachel with his arms crossed over his chest, clearly not enjoying being within the same space as Jesse. Rachel had assured him via their mental link that Jesse meant no harm, but all the reassurances in the world didn't stop him from thinking about Jesse touching Rachel's boobs first.

_He didn't_.

Rachel smiled at Puck knowingly, reassuring him yet again through their mental link.

_Still don't like him, Sparky._

Rachel sighed and concentrated on the ride, seeing that Jesse was directing him to turn onto a rough and tumble side road that cut straight through a corn field. She delved back into Jesse's mind and saw that it was a jumbled mass of excitement and nerves, but clearly no bad intentions or evil plots.

"SEE! He's gonna kill us all or make out with us all back here!" Santana observed.

"There's a barn ahead…" Mike furrowed his brow as he squinted into the dark of night.

"The doors are open, just drive straight in," Jesse advised quietly.

"I'm not d-zown with barns, yo," Artie complained suddenly. "Hay is not friendly to spokes of the wheels."

"And they seriously STINK," Kurt put in helpfully.

"Don't worry," Jesse assured him, turning in his seat and flashing Artie a blinding white, perfect smile. "I'm very attuned to the needs of the physically handicapped."

"Handicap-able," Brittany mumbled errantly. "Artie said you weren't evil, but I don't believe it. I understand when boys want to make out with me and Santana together. I don't understand why they'd want to do it separately. That's super weird."

"Everyone should probably hold on," Jesse advised as Mike continued to drive the truck straight for the open barn doors.

Finn reached over and grabbed Artie's chair with such strength that he bent the handles slightly. He shrugged at Mercedes who rolled her eyes at him before he bent them back. Mercedes stopped watching Finn and peered out the front window, watching as they came closer and closer to the barn, hurtling past the cornfield and going straight into the seemingly dilapidated and old structure.

She thought they were going to crash into the other side, but instead, they began to move downwards into a dark tunnel that only had a small tiny light zoom by their faces every twenty feet or so.

"You didn't say there was a tunnel! We should have held our breath!" Brittany scolded. "How are we going to get our wishes, now? St. Douchenozzle…"

"It's a straight shot down. When we see the light at the end, you can slow down unless you feel like crashing through a wall," Jesse advised Mike as helpfully as possible. He turned to the rest of the McKinley Gleek's and smiled big again. "Friends, I want to show you-"

"We're not _friends_, mantrollop!" Quinn huffed.

"Please don't interrupt," Jesse said patiently, his smile never fading, although his eyes were clearly getting annoyed. His smile was the smile of a practiced performer, at the moment he was trying to channel a less insane Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. "As I was saying, I'm about to introduce to you something that my parents spent their entire lifetimes working on, its sole purpose was to help you all and be a comfort to each of you in your times of need."

"Oh my God, he really is going to kill us," Blaine whispered to Kurt, gripping the boy's hand.

"I'm not going to kill you," Jesse reinforced as strongly as possible, his eyes opening wide in slight exasperation at everyone's doubt. He looked to Rachel with a curious amusement and said, "I would have thought you would have their emotions under greater control by now."

"It would be absolutely outrageous and rude to dictate their emotions, Jesse!" Rachel snapped suddenly. "They're all performers, they deserve to have their own feelings and emotions!"

"GET HIM GIRL!" Santana clapped her hands together.

"She _could_ control our emotions?" Mercedes whispered to anyone within ear shot. "That's freaky."

"It was one of the Mind's original powers. It's how she tamed the Fire to begin with, she could manipulate thoughts and feelings to her advantage, but she was of such a pure and noble spirit that she rarely used those powers unless it would help alleviate stress or painful situations," Jesse explained patiently. He smiled at Rachel and said, "I see that you've taken a true artist's view regarding your powers. It's…ambitious, and considering the fact that you're Rachel Berry, this is unsurprising. Just as nearly everything about you is ambitious."

"I can't _wait_ to punch his face," Puck grumbled from next to a tense and annoyed Rachel.

"Guys?" Mike called out. "I think we're here, now."

"Good, cause I totally have to whiz," Sam muttered to Quinn, who rolled her eyes at him with an indulgent smile.

Sure enough, the van began to slow as the light at the end of the tunnel grew larger and larger. Soon it was so bright that all the kids were blinking in order to adjust and get a better look around.

"This is awesome," Finn breathed as he went for the door and hopped out in order to pull Artie's chair out. They were followed quickly by the other Gleek's who looked around to marvel as well.

If their lair underneath the school were to be compared to the sleek, futuristic facility that they were currently in, it would have to be a moldy raisin being their former home, and one of those ridiculous tuna things that sell for a million dollars in Japan being what they were currently standing in.

"We had flat screens before," Brittany stated suddenly. She walked up to one of the sliding doors and placed her hand on it, smiling when it zipped open for her. "Oh. Oh. Wow."

"We had more room to build on an offsite facility. Not everything is _perfect_ yet, which is why you were placed in that shoebox under McKinley," Jesse stated airily. "Of course Figgins and Sylvester said something about familiarity, but secretly, I knew that they were threatened by the superiority of my parents complex."

"Guys, there's a bowling alley in there!" Brittany squealed as she began rushing to other doors, eager to see which ones would open under her touch. The rest of the Gleek's quickly followed and discovered posh, deluxe rooms, an auditorium, a swimming pool and a large conference room with incredibly plush leather seats and a large oak table.

"I miss all the little things that my Dad did for us," Kurt whispered.

"I do too," Finn agreed.

"Once Mr. Hummel is back, he'll be able to transition his caretaking duties to this facility," Jesse promised. "It was always planned to move you out here. Mr. Hummel will take care of all the personal touches that we've missed. In the meantime, I'm sure you all have questions, and we can utilize the boardroom, have a few delicious snacks the kitchen has prepared and satisfy any and all curiosities."

"Ugh, you sound like you're trying to lure us into a van with the promise of candy, pervert," Santana narrowed her eyes at Jesse dangerously.

"I'm the farthest thing from a pervert," Jesse promised. "Let's get settled for a meeting, and I'll make you understand."

"Highly unlikely," Santana grumbled, as she and Brittany pushed Artie to sit in between them.

Sam rushed off to the bathroom while the rest of the kids went for the snack table that had been set up. Finn grabbed four bottles of pop and an entire tray of cut up sandwiches and he gestured to a big bowl of cheetos with his head towards Mercedes, indicating that she should bring that back to the meeting table for him. She laughed and complied, placing the food in front of him as he wasted little to no time in diving in.

"San…they have candy buttons. I think we have to like St. Douchenozzle if he got us candy buttons," Brittany whispered desperately. She shuffled her feet and added quietly, "And the bowling alley…and the skeeball machine…and…"

"He made out with EVERY single female member of Glee. And then he didn't want a repeat performance of my fine as FUCK skills. Something is up there," Santana swore. She grabbed a package of candy buttons regardless and flounced back to her seat and glared at Jesse until Sam rushed back into the room and loaded his arms with food as well. She shrugged and demanded, "Explain, kiss slut."

"Absolutely…one thing though, ah, here it is," Jesse smiled as he pulled a book off of the desk by the doorway. He looked around the table and his eyes darted between Brittany and Tina. "Now, if I were the universe's sense of humor in all of its infinite wisdom, I would bypass giving the power of The Stone to the stereotypically smart Asian beauty and instead bestow it upon the stereotypically…"

"Chose your words carefully, dude," Artie said with as much menace as he could muster.

"Stereotypically _bubbly_ blonde cheerleader," Jesse said carefully as he handed a book to Brittany. He watched in delight as she began to flip through the pages, reading intently, her eyes practically absorbing entire pages before his very eyes. He grinned then and shook his head in amazement, "It's true…you understand everything. It takes some community members decades to understand the complex codes we've been forced to utilize."

"I've always been able to understand stuff," Brittany shrugged. She smiled and looked up at Puck, who had been bored while cramming his mouth full of Nacho cheese Doritos. "It's like a family reunion!"

"Explain," Puck demanded, looking between Brittany as she read the book and Jesse suspiciously.

"You and Jesse are like, cousins or something. Just like me and Tina…and Mike and Blaine!" Brittany revealed.

Puck looked to Jesse with an arched, incredulous brow and Jesse shrugged before going into a long speech with as much dramatic force as he could muster, "Explanations are in order, friends. My parents are the most important members of the community at this moment in time. I stumbled upon my first coded book at the age of six, and I didn't crack the code until age 13."

"You're kind of stupid," Brittany whispered.

"Once I read and understood the story of our legacy, I became…enthralled with the idea of becoming one of you. I asked my parents and they were hesitant to entertain my ideas, knowing that I wasn't one of the chosen ones. They said that Fire would be passed to another. But I hoped and came up with my own theories which proved to be more embarrassing than I would care to admit."

"OH!" Brittany clapped her hands together as she read the last page of the book. "I get it."

"Remarkable," Jesse nodded before turning back to the group, leaving his gaze on Santana last of all. "Of course with my limited resources, I only knew of the possible inheritors of the powers. I read that the Mind's lips had first been touched by the Fire's, her very heart had first been touched by the Fire's…I took that to read as another parallel that would happen in our generation."

"Oh!" Rachel squeaked in understanding this time, sparing a glance towards Puck, who only sat back in his chair with a self-assured smirk on his face.

"I believed in my juvenile and misinformed state that if I could simply get to the Mind first, that I would inherit the Fire," Jesse said with a great amount of humility. "I apologize to each of you ladies for leading you astray. Sincerely. I have the utmost respect now for the journey you've embarked on and only hope that I can help, just as countless generations before me have."

Santana stared him down shrewdly, assessing his words. She felt Rachel in the corner of her mind preaching about forgiveness and decided that she _totally_ didn't want to hear it so she focused as much of her internal venom as she could as she turned in her seat to stare at Rachel fixedly.

"So…the Mind's lips were touched by the Fire's first? Wanna do some explaining, Sparkplug?" Santana demanded with a large dose of badly veiled jealousy.

"I _totally_ stuck my tongue down her throat at her Bat Mitsvah!" Puck placed his hands behind his head as he sat there metaphorically patting his own back.

Rachel smiled and rolled her eyes at the same time before admitted, "Actually, he doesn't remember, but I forced him to play doctor with me at the JCC when we were five. Apparently, making my imaginary illnesses go away meant a large dose of Noah lips."

Jesse rolled his eyes, realizing that the plans that eaten up half a decade of his life were all for naught from the time that Rachel and Puck were _five_. The universe really did have a wonderful sense of humor.

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

No, Jesse isn't the immortal. He will play a continuing role in the story though. I see Jesse as charming and pretentious, so I hope that I got the mix right. This is not a St. Berry story, although I don't mind them as a couple persay. I have plans for Jesse. You'll see, or knowing my cunning little readers, you've probably already seen.

So the immortal is still out there and Burt, Bieste and Sue are all still government prisoners. Wonder where our superGleeks will go from here? Tune in tomorrow for...

Chapter 25 – "It's A Hard Knock Life, For Gleeks"


	25. Chapter 25

Haha! I've gotten home in time for the Chapter of the day. Who else has a three day weekend? Or in the case of some Georgia folks a 10 day weekend? I hope you enjoy this chapter. Thanks as always for the ridiculous response. I tend not to focus on numbers, as I read the replies and story alerts through my email and not the site, but I was pleasantly surprised when BrandyFawnHook dropped a number in one of the reviews. You are the best readers a nerd could ever ask for, the fact that you take the time to email me or tumblr me or hit that review button means a lot and it seriously keeps a huge smile on my face everyday. One of the reasons I'm a stickler about updating this daily right now is that I'm crazy, but also because you guys totally deserve every word and more. /gushy moment.

The title lyric is of course from Annie, "It's a Hard Knock Life". Or Jay-z even. I think its more hip to go with Annie however.  
**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 25 – "It's A Hard Knock Life For Gleeks"_

_Everyone on the planet can be divided into two categories. Those that can accomplish amazing feats at the drop of a hat, and those that are everyone else on the planet. _

_In one subdivision there would be a great orator, who could inspire, comfort and invigorate those around him. In the other subdivision would be everyone else. _

_In one subdivision there would be amazing athletes who undertake huge obstacles (mostly fat linemen) and overcome everything to mount a comeback to victory. In the other subdivision would be everyone else._

_In one subdivision there would be twelve remarkable young people who can create fifteen minutes of amazing performance art in a very short amount of time with all the cards stacked against them, and practically the whole world against them in less than a half hour. In the other subdivision would be everyone else._

_However, there is a catch for the first subdivision, which will heretofore be known as the superior subdivision. When the superior subdivision is given a little more than the drop of a hat to prepare for something amazing, they quickly realize that they are any one of the following things: amazingly bored, ridiculously bored, tortured beyond belief bored, and also clearly out of their fly by the seat of their pants depths._

_

* * *

_

"We should probably be heading out soon," Finn announced as he held the giant bowl that had been previously filled to the brim with Cheetos to his mouth, dumping the last remaining beets of deep fried corn by products and cheese dust into his mouth with gusto. He wiped at his face with his sleeve and grinned cheezily at Mercedes when she threw a napkin in his face. "I mean, we're all pretty worried about the coaches and Burt."

"Finn's right," Sam nodded. "And since our only lead to the immortal is all fizzled out…"

"I'm flattered that you would think I'm the immortal," Jesse smiled with the tiniest bit of conceit. He looked between Santana and Brittany pointedly and wondered, "Do my eyes look that wise and powerful to you?"

"No, but your face looks like you were candy coated with asshattery," Santana muttered under her breath. She threw an obnoxious look between a thoughtful Rachel, a clearly bored and slightly sleepy Puck and a blithely blank Jesse. "So, St. Douchenozzle, how do you feel about our little Puckleberry love connection? It's cute, right? Jealous a little?"

"Are you attempting to get me lit on fire?" Jesse wondered quietly, looking between a sheepish Rachel and a suddenly interested and slightly annoyed Puck. Jesse managed a semi-decent show smile as he addressed Puck, "Congratulations, obviously the better man won her. When you were five, but whatever."

"She's not a trophy, dude," Puck grumbled, inadvertently causing Rachel's face to split into the widest smile any of the Gleek's had seen in a long time.

"So, do you have more books?" Brittany wondered. "Because this one is boring now."

"I have literally tons of books," Jesse nodded eagerly. "Also, I was heading to McKinley to deliver…well, gifts as it were to the newest generation of powers."

"I like gifts," Brittany grinned winningly. "Are you gifting me the skeeball machine, because if so, I accept. But I still want new books."

"Hopefully the gifts prove helpful," Jesse shrugged. "I realize that you will all want to carefully plan your next step in the rescue of your caretakers."

"Huh…carefully plan," Sam said thoughtfully, as if considering that option for the first time.

"I thought we would just either find the immortal and he'd tell us stuff or we'd just go and rescue our people," Finn said slowly, furrowing his brow at the idea of carefully planning anything. "Do we have to like, write a step by step guide or draw diagrams or something? Because if so, I nominate Rachel."

"I've seen you pull together musical numbers in a matter of minutes, it all makes sense now," Jesse sighed heavily. "The community, as you know, has been planning for your arrival for the better part of four centuries. I think it would be best if you tried to adapt to a new way of doing things just this once."

"I vote for anything that makes us all _not dead_," Quinn raised her hand.

"Also, not a science experiment of the government," Mercedes raised her hand.

"And also again, not a weapon of the government unless I get Tiger Woods sized endorsement deals…pre slutty man whore period," Blaine added with a raise of his hand. "I say that we take a day to plan out our attack. But no more than a day, because I really think that we shouldn't leave our adults hanging like that. Well…Mr. Hummel, because Coach Bieste and Coach Sue are kind of demanding."

"Well put," Jesse nodded. "If you'd all follow me to your dressing room…"

"Can we call it a locker room?" Mike wondered quietly as they all followed Jesse reluctantly. "That's more gender friendly."

"Let's call it future sexing spot," Santana suggested. When Jesse turned his head and raised a curious brow she muttered curse words in Spanish.

"She's calling you a horse's vagina," Brittany translated helpfully.

"Charming," Jesse blinked in slight annoyance. He walked down a hallway and led the Gleek's towards one of the many sliding doors before he gestured for Tina to put a hand on it. He waved a hand in front of him, gesturing them to step inside as he announced, "Your dressing room…slash locker room."

"Oohhh…light up vanities," Quinn breathed happily as she took a look around where there were indeed a few light up vanities along one wall. Lining the other wall were large wooden floor to ceiling length cubby holes that closely resembled the "lockers" that you may find in a professional athlete's facility.

Kurt rushed to one of them and began picking through the clothing. He held up what resembled a black long-sleeved Henley and turned it in his hands as he evaluated it. "What is this? I specifically asked Coach Sylvester that I have input on our costumes if were to get any."

"We have costumes?" Rachel asked excitedly, going towards Kurt and assessing the shirt that looked Puck sized to her. She wrinkled her nose and said, "I prefer Puck in short sleeved t-shirts."

"Sweetie, we all do," Kurt assured her.

"Is that Kevlar?" Blaine wondered.

"The lightest and must protective Kevlar to have ever been invented, yes," Jesse nodded.

"Ha, I totally don't need it," Tina scoffed.

"Our virgin ears may need it," Mercedes smirked at Tina.

"YOUR virgin ears," Santana waggled her eyebrows at Mercedes. She smirked at Finn and shrugged, "Unless the incredible Hulk has decided he likes to swirl his vanilla with a little chocolate."

"Santana!" Rachel hissed, reading both Mercedes and Finn's immediate anger instantly. She gripped the girls hand and drug her away from the others before forcefully placing her in front of the light-up vanities. She held up a stern finger and tried to look as authoritative as possible as she scolded, "You're being a very, very bad girl this evening."

"Do you know what bad girls get, Sparkplug?" Santana arched an eyebrow in a picture _perfect _ rendition of Puck that if Rachel couldn't access Puck's brain readily across the room she would have thought that Santana had turned into him.

"A punishment," Rachel said quietly. She leaned in very, very, very close, boxing Santana up against the vanity with her arms with as much menacing as she could before she bent her head and whispered in Santana's ear. "Do you WANT me to punish you, Santana?"

"Mmmmhhhmmm," Santana purred eagerly.

"No problem," Rachel grinned, stepping very quickly away and turning to Jesse, "Santana wants a private tour with you Jesse."

"I'd rather not?" Jesse asked hopefully.

Rachel smiled pleasantly and did something she thought she would never have to do. She delved right into Jesse's brain, accessing his higher reasoning functions and _made_ him do what she wanted. She watched with the same pleasant smile as Jesse nodded and walked towards where Santana was pouting incredulously on her seat. He gripped her hand and began dragging her to the door as she began cursing in incredibly fast and barely understandable Spanish.

"Rach, just so you know, Santana just said she's going to kick you in your banjingo so hard that only she'll be able to make it feel better until you cry," Brittany translated quietly. She smiled at Rachel and said, "Also, you're now a Skankplug."

"_Lovely_," Rachel rolled her eyes. She looked around the room and asked, "What do we think of Jesse?"

"Can't you just read our thoughts?" Sam wondered.

"I could, but I find it more polite to actually ask you," Rachel admitted. She threw an amused glance at Puck before declaring, "I wouldn't want to be accused of mind rape."

"I think that Jesse and the community are giving us a lot of awesome toys," Tina said while happily going through a bin of nail polish at one of the nearby vanities.

"A lot of toys that I can mess with…" Brittany nodded. She looked around and said, "When Stubbs gets here, that'll be important."

"Great!" Rachel smiled.

"Yeah, can we go take a nap? I'm sleepy," Puck said suddenly.

"Your sleepiness has _nothing_ to do with the fact that Santana is so preoccupied with a brain washed Jesse that she can't interrupt your make out time with Rachel?" Mike wondered, earning himself a punch to his bicep. "Ow."

"I've never slept without my security blanket," Sam whispered to Quinn, who patted his shoulder reassuringly.

"I'll have Stubbs bring it," Brittany grinned.

"Hold on, B…." Quinn furrowed her brow.

"Hold on to what?" Brittany wondered curiously.

"Did you say Stubbs is coming here?" Puck demanded.

"Well yeah, I activated his homing device like, a half an hour ago…he should be here soon," Brittany revealed. "I can use a lot of this stuff around here to upgrade him."

"Mercedes?" Rachel wondered. She looked to Blaine and Kurt and said, "Can you take her and Finn so that Stubbs doesn't wind up on the 11 o'clock news, please?"

* * *

Shorter chapter again. But I'll make up for it with what I'm writing for you for tomorrow. Promise. Have a wonderful weekend if I don't hear from you and look out tomorrow for...

Chapter 26 – "Good Times Never Felt So Rushed"


	26. Chapter 26

Hello dear readers! So I saw the Green Hornet tonight and it was good. I like humor in all things, and this definitely was a dash of kickassness in a comedy movie. All in all quite good. I would recommend it if you like funny and you like action and also pretty boys who speak in broken English and/or normal bodied men who are adorably funny.

So, of course the title lyric is taken from Neil Diamond/Noah Puckerman's "Sweet Caroline". I hope that you enjoy...

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 26 – "Good Times Never Felt So Rushed"_

_

* * *

Regardless of gender, the average teenager has a sexual thought every 2.3 seconds. Teenagers who are performers or athletes tend to have a sexual thought every 1.8 seconds. Teenagers who are highly intelligent have a sexual thought every 1.3 seconds. _

_Teenagers who are performers and athletic and supernaturally gifted? They never stop thinking about sex. Ever._

* * *

"Here you go Stubbs…that's a good boy Stubbs…you want the Cheeto? You have to clunk along with us to get the Cheeto…just a little bit farther."

"Oh my God, Finn…he doesn't want any Cheetos!" Kurt hissed from the passenger seat of the golfmobile they were sitting in. They could have taken a faster and _warmer_ car from the garage of their new underground home, but Finn had insisted that the golfmobile would have been much cooler. Kurt had never wanted to smack the back of Blaine's head more when he had enthusiastically agreed. It was as if Blaine was _trying_ to get on Finn's good side for suspicious and mysterious reasons. Kurt spared a glare back at his step-brother and Mercedes as they sat turned in the opposite direction, facing the loud and obnoxious Robot that was following them to the underground facility.

Luckily Stubbs had been zooming along on a back road with wheels that Brittany had apparently installed at some point during their stay underneath McKinley. It was well past one in the morning in Lima, Ohio and the freezing cold roads had been deserted by all of humanity. They weren't taking any chances however, Blaine was driving the golf mobile due to his need to quote random lines from Caddyshack, and also due to the fact that if they had to blip out of there and leave Stubbs behind, he would be better equipped to drive to wherever they would transport to.

Mercedes was clutching Finn's hand for a lot of reasons at that very moment.

One, his hand was very warm and it was seriously 10 degrees at that moment. Her hands were always cold and Finn's hands were always ridiculously warm, although not Puck level fire ball warm, so it only seemed logical that he should lend some body heat through their clenched hands.

Two, she was maintaining a complicated vision that surrounded them and the robot, so that if anyone would drive by them, they wouldn't see a huge hunk of metal zooming down the street behind a golf cart with four teenagers in it. Holding Finn's hand seemed to be giving her a slight energy boost. She had errantly wished she could have just cast a repelling charm for Muggles, a suggestion to which Blaine had showed immense confusion, thereby losing any brownie points he may have scored from an incredulous Finn.

Three, she really just kind of wanted to hold his hand.

She looked over at him carefully, wondering what was going on in that every surprising brain of his. No less than three weeks ago, he had been the conductor of the _I Love Rachel Berry_ train. No less than three weeks ago she had convinced herself yet again that high school romance was for suckers and she LOVED being a strong, single female. Of course this was after filling out three pages of her journal while sobbing her lonely eyes out, but still, she had eventually convinced herself that she didn't need a boyfriend.

And now they were holding hands, had enjoyed an impromptu middle school dance, he had kissed her forehead in a touching and intense way that sort of made her think that he thought of her as more than his black sister from another mister. Finn was grinning out into the night back at Stubbs as he held out a Cheeto and whispered his encouragement to the robot instead. He felt her staring and turned, his grin never fading as he shrugged,

"What's up? Don't call me dumb like Kurt does. I couldn't take it," Finn turned slightly to try and make his step-brother feel bad about hurting his feelings, but Kurt only scoffed and began muttering things about emergency rooms and making the Jackasses look like Renaissance men.

Mercedes felt her heart jump slightly and realized that even while maintaining a vision that hid them and Stubbs away from any passersby, she had just created a hallucination for Kurt and Blaine as well. Finn blinked rapidly and mumbled,

"Woah…I feel kind of tired all of a sudden. Did you just like…UN-five hour energy me?"

"I think so, sorry," Mercedes shrugged.

"Why'd you do it?" Finn wondered, pulling away from the vision of himself and staring at him. He smiled and said, "You still always make me taller."

"You're like a giant. That's just how I see you," Mercedes admitted.

"So…you wanted privacy?" Finn smiled that ridiculous smile that meant he was both excited and confused at the same time.

Mercedes blew out one small breath before looking at Finn and stating matter-of-factly, "I've started cataloguing your smiles, and that's really weird and you should probably shut me down before I have to get weepy."

"I don't understand anything you just said," Finn said honestly. Half of his mouth turned upwards as his eyes remained confused, "I have different smiles?"

"You have that goofy smile you throw on when you're about to ask a question that you KNOW you should know the answer to," Mercedes shrugged. "You have that crazy grinning smile when you know you're about to get like, a shiny reward or a big bowl of cheetos and a tray full of sandwiches."

"That's totally my favorite," Finn grinned.

"And you have this little half smile half frown thing when you see Blaine getting flirty with Kurt," Mercedes acknowledged. "That's a really sweet one, actually. I like it. You're protective of your brother. I get it, I am too."

"He deserves something really awesome," Finn shrugged. "Everyone does."

"Yeah…but Finn? I should probably tell you that-well, it's like everyone has that one flaw that they can't help? That can totally devastate you if someone finds it out?" Mercedes wondered, not quite finding the words she wanted in order to push out what was suddenly in her heart and in her head. "I tend to start liking guys that are out of my league."

"That's stupid, you're _awesome_," Finn insisted. He scowled and insisted, "I was being serious the other day. I think that your super power should've been making people feel better, because when I'm feeling kind of stupid or useless or just…sad, you make me feel better. That's really important. Not everyone can do that. But you do it all the time for me and not that way that Schue would do it where it was like I was a lost puppy or special needs kid. You're real about _everything_. Any guy would be super lucky to have you like them."

"That's really sweet of you," Mercedes nodded, trying not to let his words affect her heart. Her face was deadly serious as she requested, "But you should probably stop being so sweet to me."

"Nah," Finn shrugged. "I don't want to."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and sighed, knowing that she wasn't getting through to him with subtle suggestion. She just didn't have the heart to come right out and say _I'm starting to really like you, idiot and you should stop being so nice because you're just going to break my heart when you tell me that I'm just a really awesome friend_. If she had Rachel's powers, she'd just beam that straight into his head.

Instead she felt her heart beat almost too rapidly as he let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close as he held his free hand out again with the Cheeto.

Meanwhile, Kurt and Blaine were blissfully ignorant as Blaine drove on through the night with the robot following closely behind. Blaine looked to Kurt curiously as the boy stared ahead as the barn came into view. There was something so spectacular about the way the moonlight lit up Kurt's flawless face. It almost took his breath away.

He took deep even breaths as he brought his hand down to where Kurt's rested against his seat. He concentrated on the driving but casually and slowly his hand grazed against Kurt's own, causing the young man to jump in his seat slightly.

Blaine took that one moment of surprise to grasp Kurt's hand in his, their fingers interlocking easily. Blaine smiled at him before turning back his entire attention to the road. Kurt continued to stare at his profile, wondering errantly if mere hand holding took his breath completely away, what was going to happen when they moved past that point.

* * *

"Anda que te coja un burro…"

"That's not quite nice, Santana," Jesse smiled at the grumbling girl who was reluctantly following him through the facility, mostly because he held her hand in a death grip due to Rachel Berry's punishment of her. He raised one perfect brow and asked, "I bet you're wondering how I can understand you. I believed it was incredibly important to be able to speak to fans of mine from around the world at one point, before I fully committed myself to my family's true calling…"

"Hijo de las gran mil putas," Santana muttered, conscientiously ignoring any words coming out of his mouth as she continually insulted his mother and brought up donkeys in incredibly wrong connotations.

"Santana, I'm truly very sorry that I turned you down last winter," Jesse said suddenly as they stood in front of one of the numerous sliding doors lining a large hallway. He held his hand up to it and walked through, dragging a slightly less put out Santana behind him. She obviously wasn't in the habit of receiving apologies, and his had just knocked three-quarters of her anger away instantly.

She looked around and carefully hid any sort of positive reaction behind an angry, snarling expression as her eyes took in the beautiful room. It was a day spa, complete with a whirlpool in the corner of the room, tanning beds, masseuse tables and a door to what looked like a sauna. She shrugged and looked at Jesse shrewdly.

"I thought you would enjoy this room," Jesse smiled winningly. "Relaxation…water spirits everywhere."

"I do like water," Santana said stiffly, her angry façade not dropping one bit.

"Not only do you like water, Santana, you create _art_ with water," Jesse praised. "I've never seen anything so fascinating before the events of this evening. The way the water swirled and froze into perfect crystal form…it was captivating."

"Go on," Santana goaded evenly as she slowly began to walk around the room, inspecting a shelf here, a gizmo there.

Jesse chuckled to himself and nodded, "I can respect a woman who demands praise for her obvious talents."

"Less respect, more praise," Santana mumbled.

"Your control over water is like…control over something that gives us life. It's amazing…epic, even," Jesse promised. His praise stopped momentarily as Santana brought her hand close to the whirlpool, lifting tendrils of water up into the air to dance against the palm of her hand. He was entranced as she made the water dance against her skin before allowing it to drop slowly back down into the whirlpool once more. She smiled down at the water and her face instantly transformed from a mask of harsh and forced meanness into a lovely young woman who was just as fascinated with her power as he was. He managed to get one small whisper past his lips, "It's beautiful."

"Yeah, I'm awesome," Santana smirked drolly.

"Do you want to experiment?" Jesse asked eagerly. His face betrayed him and he felt a small moment of embarrassment as Santana raised a flirty eyebrow his way. He blinked his eyes for a prolonged second before gesturing his head towards the sauna, "I realize that you can control water, turn it into ice…I was wondering what your effect on steam was…"

"I've never tried…I'm pretty sure I'll still be awesome though," Santana admitted, following Jesse's lead as he headed towards the door of the sauna. She closed the door behind her and watched with interest as he lifted a ladle full of water and poured it over ridiculously hot rocks. The steam swirled upwards and she concentrated and focused as best as she could.

After a few quick mistrials with her own concentration, the swirls of steam came together forming a tight knit globe of steam. Jesse clapped his hands together in amazement and nodded, "Truly spectacular."

"Told you I'm _awesome_," Santana smiled. She leveled a flirty look at him and let her voice attain that sweet and dulcet tone that she _knew_ drove most boys outside of their minds. "Jesse?"

"Hmm?" he questioned, unconsciously moving closer to her, until they were separated by the globe of steam that Santana held in her hands.

"I don't make out with losers that have clearly lost their minds and turned me down," Santana's face regained that harsh and edgy mask as she flounced towards the door. She pushed against it and furrowed her brow in anger. She yelled, "Whoever locked this door better open it right now, or I will totally make sex uncomfortable for them for the rest of all time!"

"We're locked in?" Jesse furrowed his brow, gently pushing Santana to the side as he tried to access the door. He shouted through the door, panic evident in his voice, "Please don't lock me in with the crazy person. PLEASE!"

Outside, Artie and Brittany stared at the door. Artie looked contrite and regretful. Brittany looked absolutely resolute as she stared at the lock she had configured and programmed for the door. She nodded and said, "It's for their own good. And our own good. I love Santana, but I want to have sex with you alone tonight."

Artie's contrite expression disappeared and he grinned happily before letting one phrase fall from his smiling lips, "WORD."

* * *

"I think I almost fell asleep in the shower," Puck announced as he strode into the room in a pair of ridiculously low hung basketball shorts. He smirked knowingly as Rachel's eyes became transfixed with a droplet of water left over from his time in the bathroom as it made its way downward from his chest. He watched her eyes darken slightly as he turned up the heat and made the water droplet completely _sizzle_ on his skin before it could disappear into the fabric of his shorts. "Stop objectifying my hot bod, Sparky."

Rachel blinked and looked up at Puck with squinted eyes. She smiled serenely as she stretched lazily on the only bed in the room they would presumably cohabitate in. She suspected that he chose a room for them with a single bed as an excuse not to hold massive Glee Club sleepovers any longer and she couldn't honestly say that she minded all that much. She bit back a grin as his suddenly lecherous thoughts about her legs seeped into her own mind and arched her back before slowly rising into a sitting position.

She gracefully got off the bed and she found it hard to hold back the giant smile threatening her face when he began to appreciate her night time attire. One overly large gray t-shirt that she had taken out of what she assumed was his new closet full of clothes that drifted down to the middle of her thigh, completely concealing the fact that she was wearing tiny shorts. She felt his mind completely ignore the fact that she _could_ be wearing pants and immediately he began thinking about how she obviously _wasn't_ wearing pants.

"I want to test a theory out, would you be so kind as to help me?" Rachel wondered sweetly. "Or are you too tired?"

"M'not tired," Puck mumbled lazily, his eyes staring down at her intently as she walked ever closer to him. Her hand reached out and suddenly her palm was over his chest, right where his heart was currently trying to beat in a non-erratic pattern. He tried to even out his breathing before whispering, "Rachel, you're killing me here."

"That won't do," Rachel shook her head slowly. "I definitely need you alive."

"I just need you," Puck countered.

"I'm right here," Rachel promised. She giggled when his lips were suddenly on hers, as if he needed more physical confirmation of her presence. His lips went from her mouth, to place an errant and adorable kiss on her nose, before steadily moving down to her jaw, her throat, the pulse point where her shoulder met her neck. She hummed in spite of herself and tried to force words out of her brain and into the suddenly think air surrounding them. "I noticed that since we kissed the first time…and the second time…"

"I'm gonna make you lose count tonight," Puck promised in a whisper, his hands gripping handfuls of gray t-shirt and yanking her towards him so that their bodies were flush against each other.

"Sounds wonderful," Rachel agreed dreamily as his mouth continued to absolutely worship all of those wonderful spots on her neck that were rapidly turning her legs into jelly. She realized that he was actively _trying_ to leave a hickey and pulled his face back to hers, attacking his lips with as much, if not more gusto than she normally would have. When she felt _his knees_ buckle, she pulled away and smiled, "Noah, do you realize that our connection gets to be more powerful the more intimate we become?"

"Sparky, I really, really like where you're going with this," Puck grinned in spite of himself.

"I do have to question though if you're up to the challenge," Rachel admitted.

Puck furrowed his brow in mock pain and indignation before promptly lifting her entirely off her feet. She wrapped her legs around his midsection as he walked them towards the bed, before crushing her against the Egyptian Cotton sheets with his body. He arched an eyebrow as her eyes widened as she felt that one part of him was more than up to the challenge. She giggled in spite of herself and Puck actually pouted.

"Baby, don't tease," he muttered.

"I wasn't planning on it," Rachel whispered as her hand once again found his heart beat, then drifted further down his body. "But there should be full disclosure…if we go further perhaps not all the way, one step, or even half a step further…I fear the physical impact will be immense."

"You mean the physical impact of me totally defiling your hot body will be tiring?" Puck asked hopefully.

"No, I believe that that first night, I was using my own power to jumpstart everyone, and we know the consequences of me exhausting myself," Rachel sighed as her hand toyed with the strings that kept Puck's shorts on his body, her knuckles barely brushing against his lower abdomen as he hovered over her body supported by his elbows. She smiled as his lips descended on her skin again, going to his favorite spots on her neck. "Since our time in our special recuperative coma place, a switch has been flipped."

"Now I'm your battery pack," Puck nodded as his head dipped over and over to place kisses along the right side of her neck. "It's cool, I like the way it feels."

"Mmhhm, me too," Rachel mumbled dreamily. "But if we go further…I can only assume that I'll only be able to take more from you when drawing upon our powers."

"Sparky, I'm plenty powerful. You _have_ seen and felt up the guns," Puck reminded her.

"Yes, but I suppose I just want to make sure I have your consent," Rachel giggled, as her hands toyed with the strings to his shorts.

"You don't have a form for me to sign, do you?" Puck questioned seriously. Rachel made an embarrassed and adorable face before shaking her head no decidedly. He shrugged and demanded, "Violate away, Sparky."

Rachel paused in her ministrations, giving Puck all the impetus he needed for his own hands to explore, pushing the gray t-shirt up her body, his long fingers caressing each inch of skin that was revealed. He only stopped when his hands grazed lace, and he paused before kissing her lips avidly, their tongues immediately grappling in an intimate and now familiar dance as his hand cupped her breasts almost cautiously, afraid she might shut the whole operation down. Instead she moaned into his mouth with delighted pleasure, giving him the green light to delve beneath the lacy cups of her bra to worship her properly. Her mind phased out for a minute and she suddenly whispered,

"Santana..."

"Sparky, seriously, it's not right to say her name right now. You're making me think that you're legit attracted to her," Puck pouted playfully as his thumb rubbed against the hardened peak of her nipple with the perfect amount of rough pressure.

"No...she's mad. We might not have all the time in the world right now...we'll have to make this quicker than expected if she gets out," Rachel sighed under his ministrations. She furrowed her brow and shook her head. "Brittany might have just taken care of it for us though..."

* * *

Next chapter _may_ be rated M. I hope you don't mind. That is all. This chapter will be titled...

Chapter 27 – "I've Been a Bad, Bad Brittany"

Hugs, kisses and delicious hot chocolate to all the darling readers out there on the interhighway.


	27. Chapter 27

Was anyone watching the Seahawks/Bears game? Did they see the glimpse of Puckleberry in the Glee promo? Did everyone else scream and giggle? Yeah, thought so. I lost credibility in front of my dudes. Apparently being a girl football genius is cool, but I can't be a girl football genuis who llluuuuurrrrves a Glee couple more than real life couples.

Anywho, I hope everyone is having a great weekend! This chapter is NOT M. It's the closest thing I could get to M without actually being M. I apologize to those who were looking forward to it, but I received a few some correspondence from people that are like, twelve that read this. I cant' go four wheel drive smut if 12 year olds are reading, I can't go back to jail unless its for ass grabbing of Mark Salling.

Either way, there are sexy times, just not sexy porno times. If you need sexy porno times, there are quite a few excellent authors dotted about here that can satisfy that urge. This however, is still something you can find on a cable channel (still not appropriate for a twelve year old, seriously, where are there parents and the internet nanny?)

The chapter lyric is taken from Fiona Apple's "Criminal". I hope you enjoy!

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* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 27 – "I've Been a Bad, Bad Brittany"_

_

* * *

Attraction is a funny thing. Scientists have tried to decode the very fundamentals of human attraction and mostly failed. Perfume-ologists have tried to recreate it and mostly failed. Websites have tried to recreate it digitally in order to peddle their product have probably had the most success out of anyone else. _

_You can't mathematically predict attraction. You can't bottle it. You can't always get it packed into an electronic mail message._

_And most importantly you can't get rid of it when you'd most like to._

* * *

"It's getting ridiculously hot in here," Jesse complained as steam continued to rise off of the hot rocks of the sauna. He toyed with the collar of his shirt slightly.

"Then take off all your clothes, Jesse!" Santana replied glibly, the immediately cursing herself as the song lyrics to the Nelly song began rushing through her head on repeat. She rolled her eyes in annoyance as she tried to direct the steam away from her so that she could maintain some semblance of a normal temperature. She was going to _murder_ Rachel Berry. Or torture her with sexual innuendo and inappropriate touching for the rest of all time.

She caught a movement out of the corner of her eye and turned her glare towards Jesse, feeling that all too familiar feeling of what Brittany had dubbed _the beautiful butterflies in your lady butterfly_. Because Jesse had pulled his shirt over his head and suddenly all she saw was a perfect expanse of boy skin…nice strong shoulders, hardened and perfectly toned biceps that were just the right size, not Puck sized but not string bean sized…pecs that seemed so perfect for a pair of feminine hands to be petting…and the torso…oh lord the torso.

She found that her breath caught in her throat and she heard him clear his throat and decided to stop watching the way the pecs that her hands were itching to touch were moving up and down with each breath. Her eyes darted briefly up to his smugly amused face and she rolled her eyes at him before narrowing them shrewdly. He really was eating up her silent, totally positive review of his naked upper body. Her left eyebrow arched upwards ever so slightly and her head tilted to the side.

Two could play at that game. She pretended to wipe sweat from her brow then let her index finger drift from her collarbone down her body, between her cleavage and down her abdomen until it played with the hem of her shirt before she finally let a beguiling, ambiguous sexy smirk play on her lips as she very quickly brought the shirt over her head, leaving her standing there in her jeans and thankfully one of her nicest and most adorable black bras.

Artie had clearly done well earlier that morning when he had chosen the underwear that she and Brittany would be wearing for the day.

Jesse couldn't take his eyes off of her. Every single square inch of the deliciously bronzed skin that she had just bared to his gaze was like a shot of whiskey to his system, absolutely intoxicating. It was to his own detriment of course.

Santana was taking his preoccupation to her advantage as her hands worked on the button to her jeans, torturously pulling the zipper down as Jesse actually licked his lips involuntarily in anticipation of seeing even more skin. Seeing his response to the incredibly slow strip tease made Santana immediately reevaluate her previous seduction styles. '_Drop your pants now'_ certainly didn't get this particular response.

One and a half minutes later, her jeans were kicked off finally and Jesse felt his breath hitch at the beauty standing in front of him clad only in the sexiest of black underthings. He opened his mouth to talk, when very suddenly a downpour began from above his head, drenching him immediately as if he had just walked into the heart of a monsoon.

Santana laughed as she manipulated the steam cloud she had moved over Jesse's head slowly during her strip tease. It had acted as her own personal rain cloud and was currently unloading all the H20 it could on Jesse's head. Her eyes drifted downwards and she cursed her luck as the water only made Jesse's bared body parts _infinitely_ better and more fun to look at.

"Well shit," she hissed under her breath. She stalked towards him even as he took slow and unsteady steps backwards to somehow get away from her. The back of his calves hit a low wooden bench and he found himself sitting suddenly. In the very next moment there was a nearly naked Santana and her own personal rain cloud above him.

Without warning, she lowered herself so that she straddled his body, the rain now pouring down on both of them. She looked at him shrewdly and said, "First things first, I don't like you, still. But we're going to make out and I may let you get me off, but the only reason for this is because I'm horny and I like, have a serious medical condition where if I'm horny and don't get off, _people die_."

"I don't want to die," Jesse shook his head slowly. His lips turned upwards in a hopeful, small smile. "May I touch you now, Santana?"

"I really dig that you're asking like you're already my bitch," Santana whispered as she nodded. He immediately complied as the rain continued to fall down on them and she let out a low, satisfied and nearly masculine moan. "Oh hells yeah."

* * *

There was nothing in this universe that Puck would ever find that would give him as much insanely delicious pleasure as the feeling of Rachel Berry's hands grasping at his Mohawk as he searched for heaven with his head nestled between her thighs. He was so enthralled with her pleasured whimpering, the wonderful feel and taste of her and the aforementioned hawk pulling that he honestly didn't care if Santana finally did show up at that point, because he wouldn't stop for anyone or anything.

Rachel had lost count of how many times he had driven her body over its brink. The first time had been a surprise as she had never experienced an orgasm in her life. She thought she had been dying at first at the intense pleasure he had pulled out of her body. The second time she realized what was happening and enjoyed it immensely. As she was reaching her third trip into ecstasy she realized that if Noah Puckerman focused one-tenth of his energies he used for sexual endeavors upon any other mundane task in his life, he would quickly be named all mighty ruler of the world.

She realized that the furthest thing from his mind was _stopping_ his earnest ministrations and she yanked on the short hair of his Mohawk desperately, lest he kill her from pleasure. She called on some kind of inner strength she hadn't known she had possessed as she manhandled _him_, forcing him to lay on his back on the bed. She grinned at him as he looked like HE was the one who had been the recipient in their sexual transaction, his eyes hazy, his expression blissful and his beautiful and exceptionally talented mouth had a new permanent smile on his face.

"That was the most fun I've ever had," he mumbled, clearly in awe of what their bed had just witnessed. "When can I do that again?"

"I'll make it a part of our daily schedule," Rachel promised, finding that her voice was slightly scratchy as she had obviously forgotten that she had been screaming his name minutes earlier.

"Right after yoga?" Puck wondered hopefully.

"Anything you want," Rachel grinned. Without warning, her hands went on the offensive and moved from his shoulders down his torso pausing as she arched an appreciative eyebrow his way. "Do I have permission to touch you in an incredibly intimate manner, Noah?"

"Sparky, I love when you talk procedural to me."

* * *

"Don't EVER STOP DOING THAT ARTIE! EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER!"

Quinn pouted as Brittany's enthusiastic appraisal of Artie's bedroom skills filtered through what she had believed would have been sound proof walls. She looked to Sam, who had been perfectly content to just make out five minutes earlier shift uncomfortably. She took a deep breath and hopped off of her bed, stalking towards her door with a very clear mission in her head. She placed a hand on her door and watched it slide open to see a newly returned Kurt, Finn, Blaine and Mercedes who had just dropped Stubbs off to recharge in the car garage.

Their eyes popped out of their skull as they heard grunting and moaning noises filtering from further down the hall in the facility, and then if was as if they noises were coming from all over the facility. These noises would certainly not have been happening if they had one responsible and boring adult in their lives that hadn't been kidnapped by the government. Quinn rolled her eyes and explained,

"People are mating like rabbits. I'm going to bubble up my room and then try to convince my boyfriend that abstinence is still the right choice," Quinn sighed heavily.

"Good luck with that," Blaine chuckled, clearly not agreeing.

Quinn did as promised, concentrating on creating a protective and _soundproof_ bubble in front of her door before going back inside to a clearly jealous Sam. Finn wrapped an arm around Mercedes' shoulders and announced,

"Rescuing Stubbs made me hungry. Let's go find some ice cream or something."

"I want to go and find where all the sex noises are coming from," Blaine announced blithely. Three pairs of eyes looked at him incredulously and he shrugged, "So I have slight voyeuristic tendencies and I like ruining other people's fun times? Like you three are perfect? Spare me…"

Mercedes and Finn went off in search of sustenance for Finn, and Kurt was left standing as Blaine began following the noises of sexual satisfaction like a blood hound. He found a lead obviously and Kurt could only roll his eyes and follow with reluctant interest as Blaine nearly power-walked in search of ruining someone's fun times. He stopped in his tracks and chuckled at the large sign posted in front of one of the doors.

"Tina and I are having private Asian time. If you disturb, Tina would like to remind you that she cannot die and will do everything in her power to make you pay," Kurt read aloud in a whisper. He nodded and looked to Blaine with a grin, "So, dare you interrupt the fists of fury and her bendy boy toy?"

"No, I like my manhood as is," Blaine shrugged, causing Kurt to laugh in spite of himself. Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and led him further into the underground facility. "Onward, good sir. To ruin a less dangerous person's fun times!"

"We're not going near Puck and Rachel's room. I can't afford to have my eyebrows singed off of my face," Kurt insisted dramatically. "They are perfectly shaped. You shouldn't risk perfection."

"ARTIE!"

Blaine laughed out loud at the sound of Brittany's ecstatic shouting and dragged Kurt along with him towards the sound of it. He tightened his grip in front of Artie's door and concentrated before blipping into the room with his eyes wide open as Kurt threw a hand over his eyes haphazardly.

"BOO!" Blaine shouted before blipping out again.

The two former Dalton Academy students hit the ground running as soon as they zipped back into the hallway. Sure enough, Brittany and Artie eventually made themselves presentable and exited Artie's room in search of what Brittany had immediately deemed, "The future ghost of Blaine and Kurt."

"Have you every wondered what it would feel like to be run over by a wheelchair repeatedly?" Artie yelled after the running young men. "I'm going to pop a metaphorical cap in your asses!"

They followed the sound of Blaine's insane laughter and watched as the boys tried to escape Artie's righteous wrath as they entered the first sliding door that opened to them. Kurt's eyes widened as he looked around at the spa and he nodded in approval. "I hope they have a decent body wrap here…"

"ohhhhh…Santana."

"That's right, say my name you little bitch."

Blaine spun in a full circle before his eyes fell on the sauna door, where Brittany's lock still deterred the now unwanted escape of Santana and Jesse. Kurt walked slowly towards it and wondered silently if it would open for him. Brittany and Artie arrived to the party as the lock fell open and clattered to the floor.

"NO!" Brittany yelled anxiously and in vain.

The sauna door creaked open and both Santana and Jesse were so preoccupied that they failed to notice that they had an audience of four. Brittany clapped her hands together and whispered to Artie, "This means more alone time, OR, even better a quartet. All the best music comes from Quartets. Like All-4-One."

Kurt averted his eyes and began clearing his throat obnoxiously, to no avail as Santana was clearly hell bent on finishing no matter the audience. Artie wheeled forward and closed the door again so that they could have some semblance of privacy and turned to awkwardly smile at Kurt and Blaine, completely forgetting the fact that the boys had seen him and Brittany in action minutes earlier, mostly due to the fact that they had given him the gift of seeing Santana and Jesse in action.

"How's my pet robot?" Brittany asked conversationally.

"He's good?" Kurt wondered as Blaine threw him a shrug.

"Tired?" Blaine offered hopefully.

The sauna door opened and Jesse sauntered out fully clothed, his face scarlet red from both exertion and embarrassment as Santana followed behind, also fully clothed and slapping his ass and giving him a smirk before saying seriously, "You're welcome. And don't expect it to happen again."

"Ohhhh," Brittany pouted sadly.

Santana turned and leveled Brittany with the best glare she could manage, but Brittany's adorable pout melted away any anger she may have had. She sighed and said, "Britt-Britt, baby? Did you do this?"

"I wanted us both to have boyfriends besides sweet lady kisses," Brittany shrugged. "It's fun to have a boyfriend and a Santana. I wanted you to have the same."

"That's super greedy," Blaine nodded in understanding.

"Jesse St. JerkFart will _never_ be my boyfriend," Santana scoffed. "You've been a naughty bad girl, Brittany. But I don't blame you, baby. I. Blame. Rachel. Berry."

And before anyone could even think to stop her, Santana was rushing out of the day spa and heading towards Puck and Rachel's room. The rest eventually followed, with Blaine and Kurt wasting no time in zipping directly into the hallway in front of Puck and Rachel's quarters. Santana banged on the door before turning and glaring at Kurt.

"OPEN IT!"

Kurt bit his lip, knowing he couldn't refuse since he had already previously stated that he _liked_ his eyebrows and didn't particularly want them to be frozen off at that point in his life. He reluctantly complied, hoping to make it up to Rachel eventually as he requested the doors to slide open, and closed his eyes when they did.

"Disentangle your naughty Jewish bits, fuckers!" Santana roared as she entered the room. She furrowed her brow as Puck and Rachel were cuddled together underneath their sheets, sleeping peacefully and not the least bit stirred by Santana's loud dramatics.

"Huh…I thought they'd be mid hump," Blaine nodded appreciatively as Puck and Rachel had obviously tuckered each other out so thoroughly that they hadn't even fluttered an eyelid.

"Bet they're naked," Santana smirked as she stomped towards the bed and reached out for the covers to expose and embarrass Rachel, who had caused her own previous exposure and embarrassment at having been caught getting down and dirty with _Jesse St. James_. Her hand was mid-grip of the edge of the blankets when Rachel's eyes darted open in alarm.

Santana jumped back as Rachel's hand flew from under the covers, and suddenly a fireball formed in the palm of her hand and propelled itself towards Santana's face at a slow but steady speed. Santana pulled the water from Rachel's bedside table and extinguished it but her eyes remained wide with fear and surprise.

"Holy SHIT Puckerman, did you get my Sparkplug knocked up with your fire spawn already?"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

That wasn't so bad, was it? I hope that you enjoyed it! February 6th is SO close, we can almost taste it. Until then, let's hope I can keep giving a chapter a day. Tomorrow's?

Chapter 28 – "Planning Plans is Hard to Do"


	28. Chapter 28

Hello! Happy Monday! I watched the Golden Globes last night and was pleasantly surprised to see that Glee won! No matter how craptastic we may think the show is, others really recognize that its still better than a lot of other crap. : )

The chapter lyric is taken from Neil Sedaka's "Breaking Up is Hard to Do".

This is a cracky chapter and really, sort of filler-tastic. I think its fun though. And the next chapter will get a little more interesting.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 28 – "Planning Plans is Hard to Do"_

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* * *

There is one decision that most couples spend countless hours contemplating throughout their lives. It consumes time as if it were a sponge soaking up water. This most pivotal decision? What to eat for dinner…_

_Now, imagine how difficult it could be for thirteen young people in various states of coupledom trying to make much larger and much more difficult decisions. If the first image that came to your mind was that of lions fighting viciously over a tiny scrap of meat, you may be slightly psychic. If you come to the conclusion that they will fight so fiercely that the scrap of meat will eventually be forgotten about, you should probably be telling this story instead.  
_

_

* * *

_

"**GET OUT**"

Santana's eyes widened at the incredibly loud shout that had just left Rachel's lips. Puck finally woke up and assessed the situation through his blinking groggy eyes. He instinctively tightened his grip around her bare waist and used his other hand to secure the covers tightly around their completely bare bodies.

"YOU JUST THREW FIRE AT ME!" Santana yelled back, regaining her footing.

"No shit, you did?" Puck mumbled, realizing that the flesh he was touching _did_ feel warm. And if something felt warm to the human furnace it was indeed WARM.

"I told you there might be consequences to physical intimacy," Rachel whispered to him. She brought out her hand again, and sure enough a small fire ball floated in Santana's direction, who calmly extinguished it.

"You let him do you without me?" Santana demanded. "BITCH!"

"He didn't _do_ me," Rachel spat out at Santana. She glared at the intrusive girl and stared beyond her to the open door of her room and saw Kurt and Blaine dive from sight as Artie hid behind a curious Brittany. "It's not anyone's business, especially not yours, Santana. Do I have to punish you again? Please. Leave."

"You just threw fire," Santana scoffed. "That's EVERYONE's business."

"Let's have a team sleepover and talk about it!" Brittany clapped her hands together enthusiastically.

"Brittany, _no_," Artie whispered, gripping her hand.

"Let's go, Sparky…time for a team meeting," Santana grinned smugly.

"It can certainly wait eight more hours until tomorrow," Rachel said evenly.

"But I wanna talk about it right now!" Santana insisted roughly. "It's your fault I had to let Jesse St. James feel me up in the sauna and you are GOING to pay for it."

"We have a sauna?" Puck wondered curiously. He grinned lazily at Rachel and said, "Saunas are sexy."

"I can give you both a personal tour," Santana suggested.

"EVERYONE OUT!" Rachel screeched.

Puck felt a tugging at his insides and his energy drain considerably as Rachel accessed the naked battery pack lying next to her as she beamed orders directly into all the Gleek's brains.

_Leave. And do not return for another 8 hours._

Puck began to rise and get out of the bed to comply with the orders, letting the covers drop as he flashed his entirely nude body. Rachel squeaked in surprise and threw him back onto the bed and hastily covered him.

"NOT YOU!" she whispered.

Santana reluctantly followed the orders that she physically could not disobey as her body seemed to be directly under Rachel Berry's control. She trudged from the room, calling out obnoxiously over her shoulder.

"This isn't over, Sparkplug! I'm going to make YOU touch away the Jesse germs all over my body!"

* * *

Eight hours later, a dozen people were standing in front of Puck and Rachel's door stock still, curiously looking at one another.

"Why are we all standing outside of Rae's door?" Tina wondered softly.

"I wanted to go get breakfast but my feet brought me here," Finn mumbled miserably.

"Didn't you finish off a box of Eggo's eight hours ago?" Mercedes smiled at him.

"That was EIGHT hours ago, Mercedes," Finn explained helpfully. "And I didn't get to finish because all of a sudden we just walked back to our rooms. Why did that happen again?"

"Because Rachel wanted us to get a good night's sleep," Brittany smiled. "And she said we should come back in eight hours, so we did."

"She mind voodooed us. All that talk yesterday about not mind voodooing us and there she goes, mindvoodooing us," Santana grumbled.

"You kind of did interrupt them," Artie explained helpfully. "I mean they were all cuddling and cute and naked."

"THEY WERE NAKED?" Mike's eyes bugged out of his head. "Did you see anything?"

"I was cowering behind my girlfriend because apparently them getting naked together gave Rachel the gift of _fire_," Artie smirked.

"I saw Puck naked. He's still hot," Brittany nodded in fond remembrance, before being poked in her midsection by a jealous Artie. She grinned at him and said, "You're totally hot too, duckie."

"The gift of FIRE? Is that a euphemism?" Sam asked.

"We're not sure," Blaine admitted.

"Can any of us actually _move_ right now?" Kurt demanded. "I'd really like to go back to my room and finish moisturizing before we plan out how we're going to rescue my Dad today."

"I'm stuck," Tina admitted.

"I can bend…want me to go and grab some breakfast from the kitchen?" Mike asked politiely.

"I want pop tarts," Finn said sadly, causing Mike to laugh as he bent and stretched his upper body towards the kitchen.

"I wasn't even a part of the raid on Rachel and Puckerman's tryst," Jesse grumbled.

"Rachel's orders were to everyone in the facility," Blaine explained helpfully. "I'm assuming we're stuck here until she lets us go. The punishment would have probably not been so fierce if Santana hadn't been throwing around sexing and pregnancy accusations. It was really kind of invasive, and that's coming from a confessed voyeur."

"She threw fire! And Puck has super sperm. Everyone does remember Quinn Fabray getting knocked the hell up, right?" Santana hissed.

"I'm standing right here, Santana," Quinn rolled her eyes.

"I knew that," Santana shrugged her shoulders.

Rachel and Puck's sliding doors slide open and Puck strolled outwards just as Mike de-stretched, his arms full of breakfast pastries. The mohawked young man grabbed some treats from Mike's arms and turned gesturing with a jerk of his head by way of invitation.

"We can't move until Rachel lets us!" Brittany called out helpfully.

"Come in everyone!" Rachel called out brightly. She smiled at them with a too wide grin as they filed in obediently, looks of confusion upon their faces as their bodies acted without their consent. Her smile immediately vanished and she was all business, "Now, before I lift the control I didn't want to take in the first place, rules must be put in place. Sex lives are private no matter how loudly people may be screaming other's names in the throes of passion."

Artie blushed and Brittany smiled prettily. Rachel looked pointedly at Santana and said, "I was very sad that I had to exhibit control over you all, but rule number one from this point forward, is that we do not intrude upon private moments and we do not throw accusations out about pregnancy or intimacy in rude and uncouth ways. If you swear to abide by that very important rule, I promise to never force my will upon any of you."

"I apologize," Blaine said hopefully. "Voyeurism is a disease really. I need help."

"I liked seeing you after your fun with Puck. You were pretty and flushy," Brittany pouted.

"Brittany," Rachel shook her head.

"I promise I won't get to see you after you sex Puck up again," Brittany sighed forlornly. "Even though I _like_ to look at pretty things."

Rachel looked pointedly at Santana, waiting for her to give her consent before lifting the control she held over the Gleek's collective physical actions. Santana merely stared back, not willing to apologize or give in any manner whatsoever.

"San, come on, I'm _hungry_," Finn insisted as he stared at the pastries in Mike's hands covetously. "I'm super strong and like, the super strong muscles need a super big breakfast."

"I have to finish moisturizing, Santana!" Kurt hissed.

"I need to pee," Sam grumbled.

"FINE!" Santana grumbled. "I'm sorry I was being a good friend and you know, _curious_ about what you had let Puckerman do to you."

"You're just pissed you didn't have a front row seat," Puck smirked at her knowingly.

"I would pay a lot of money for a front row seat," Brittany said enthusiastically.

"Preach," Artie whispered.

Rachel smiled in spite of herself and lifted her manipulations and control over her friends' actions. Finn immediately dove for the breakfast pastries, smashing two into his mouth at the same time. Sam flew himself straight for the bathroom and Blaine zipped Kurt back to his room to obtain his moisturizer. When everyone finally returned and they all situated themselves in the room that Puck had errantly hoped would have been too small for group powwows, Rachel smiled and said honestly,

"I'm really sorry for controlling you all."

"We're kind of used to it," Sam admitted.

"I would have done the same thing if I could have and if Santana had behaved that way to me," Quinn admitted with a smile and a shoulder nudge to Rachel.

"Noah and I discovered something last evening," Rachel announced abruptly.

"That you're a hellcat in the sack?" Santana wondered hopefully.

"_Totally_," Puck grinned.

"NOAH!" Rachel hissed.

Puck shrugged and said, "Sparky, I'm not gonna lie when shits totally true."

"Your responsibility towards the truth is awe-inspiring,' Rachel rolled her eyes.

"Rawr," Santana winked.

"STOP THAT!" Rachel wrinkled her nose.

"Make me!" Santana smugly mumbled. She immediately regretted her words as Rachel suddenly appeared in her brain and despite her own intentions, her hand reached for two of the breakfast pastries in Finn's hands and five seconds later they were shoved into her mouth. She squeaked in protest as she had no choice but to chew and swallow at least one thousand calories worth of cheese danish.

"Good think you don't have to squeeze into your Cheerios uniform later," Quinn giggled.

"San, those were mine!" Finn pouted.

"The hulk needs food," Blaine whispered to Kurt.

"You ate eight pastries already, Finn!" Rachel reminded him.

"Still hungry," Finn grumbled.

Smarmy comments began flowing around the room and the noise was starting to reach cafeteria level commotion. Rachel sighed and looked to Kurt, who was clearly getting more and more angry as the seconds ticked by. They had to plan. They had to come up with a way to get Burt Hummel and their coaches back. And talking about how Finn needed to eat a dumspter's worth of food a day was not helping. Puck placed to fingers to his mouth and blew an ear deafening whistle.

"Okay, anyway, long story short? Rachel and I are close. Like, I'll put my fiery fist in somebody's face if they mess with her again kind of close," Puck announced blithely. "And apparently, the closer Rachel gets with someone, the more she can weasel away their energy. And eventually, you kind of get so close that not only does she use my energy, but she kind of can do my power. Ask any more detailed questions, and I'll sic my midget on you all. We square? Because I'm not Finn sized hungry, but I could eat."

"I bet you could eat," Santana mumbled sarcastically as soon as she finished swallowing her pastries, her eyebrows waggling despite her better judgment.

Rachel rolled her eyes and asked, "Santana, do you enjoy eating gallons of ice cream for breakfast? What exactly are your feelings about copious amounts of bacon?"

Puck frowned at Rachel slightly and shook his head. "That shits not kosher, Sparky. Make her eat mayonnaise from a jar."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I promise, the next chapter is not so filler-y and cracky. You'll have it in your awesome little interhighway hands tomorrow...

Chapter 29 – "I'm a FutureMaker, Never Been a Faker."


	29. Chapter 29

Hello hello. Early, I know. So. 19 days until the super bowl. That would bring me to Chapter what? 47 or 48? Here's the thing about me. I like even numbers. I _really_ like even milestone numbers. So friends, I've set myself an impossible goal. I'll be posting Chapter 50 on the day of the Superbowl. I hope that by that time, you're all still with me. Pinkdrama, this means that one day, you'll get your two chapters. I demand something in return to be named at a later date.

The chapter title is taken from Weezer's "Troublemaker".

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 29 "I'm A FutureMaker, Never Been a Faker"_

_

* * *

If Michael J. Fox gave anything to the world it was an increased awareness of Parkinson's Disease. Also an increased awareness to the untapped adorable hotties that Canada has stored away (84% of Canadians are stealth hotties). And finally, an increased awareness that the future should certainly not be meddled with._

_Predicted? Sure. Dwelled upon? Absolutely. Meddled with? Only if you have a serious need to slap your hand against your face repeatedly._

* * *

The Gleeks found themselves in the gym of their new underground home away from home after Santana had unfortunately made the non too delicate but all too true accusation that Puck and Rachel's room reeked of sex. Puck had forcefully pushed everyone out of the room at that point and they immediately relocated to the gym where Santana was forced to eat another danish.

The boys demolished the breakfast trays that they had liberated from the mysterious kitchen that kept serving food despite being void of any chefs or workers whatsoever. Artie purposefully baited Blaine with a House Elf reference and since Blaine could only throw up his hands in frustration at not getting anything that they talked about, Finn was now punishing him by making Brittany sit down and explain everything about Harry Potter to the boy who looked as if he wanted to vomit from the information overload. A game of pickup basketball had started, but when Sam wasn't obnoxiously flying over heads to dunk the ball, Finn was popping the basketballs as if they were balloons, so it wasn't going too well.

The popping sound startled everyone yet again and Puck rolled his eyes, "Basketball is officially over because the Jolly Doofus Giant has ruined our last ball."

"You're just mad because your shot is whack today," Mercedes piped in from the sidelines where she was sitting with Kurt and the rest of the girls. "Seriously, maybe Rachel took that from you too."

"Watch it Wheezy, you don't want to be shoving pastries into your face too," Santana smirked.

Mercedes froze and looked at Finn for a split second before looking down at her feet. She knew Santana was picking on Rachel, not making a fat joke, but she was feeling particularly sensitive that day and Santana could have been making fun of a lighting fixture and Mercedes would have heard a fat joke coming out of her mouth. She really didn't want to see Finn's reaction to any possible fat joke. If he laughed, she would have to kill herself and then kill him. Her eyes darted up at Finn again, who was standing in front of her before he turned and plopped down on the bleacher in front of her, stretching out so that his head rested on her knees.

"Ummhmm," Blaine arched an eyebrow from the other side of Kurt, causing Mercedes to internally freak out as Finn lazily leaned his head back so that he could see her and smiled at her goofily.

"Okay, now that we're well fed and physically warmed up, I believe it's time to start planning the emancipation of our adults," Rachel announced as she stood in front of the group that had assembled on the bleachers. "Let's have an open and honest forum about how we can best learn of their whereabouts."

"We should call the government and see what they want from us in return for them," Brittany suggested. She looked around and said, "Where do you think that would be in the telephone book?"

"They're probably keeping them in one of the lower levels of the Pentagon or something," Sam hypothesized. "Or Guantanamo Bay."

"I thought America didn't do that anymore," Quinn furrowed her brow. "My dad used to say that pansy ass democrats made it shut down. But then, my dad is an asshole, so he was probably wrong…and also, it can't be said enough, an asshole."

"I say we take something of the governments in retaliation," Santana suggested. "Like the Statue of Liberty."

"She could be Stubbs' girlfriend," Brittany whispered in sudden excitement.

"Does the community have any idea of where they could be?" Mike questioned Jesse thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry, we lost contact with them the moment the school was infiltrated," Jesse admitted sadly.

"Not that I don't appreciate the amazingly sweet crash pad the community has given us, and the totally useless to me Kevlar, but what can you guys help us with?" Tina demanded.

Jesse thought about it a moment and stood to stand in front of the group while Rachel sat down. He scrutinized them carefully, his mind processing each of them as best as he could. He had won the enviable position of being their community point person due to the fact that not only had he studied the normal informational packets about each one of them, but he had spent months side by side with these people. He hesitated to call them friends, but they were certainly more than acquaintances. He had witnessed a lot in those months….

"Hypothetically speaking, you all have to perform, _tomorrow_ as an opening number at the Grammy's. What do you do? What do you wear? How does it work? GO," Jesse demanded.

"A medley of songs with the word Tonight as a central theme," Rachel instantly answered. "It opens on me singing _Tonight_ from West Side Story, with a single spot on my face, and I'm joined not by a male counterpart, but with Mercedes singing a lovely and rich harmony that is unlike all the other versions of _Tonight_ ever recorded or performed."

"Both dressed in basic black dresses," Kurt piped up. "Everyone dressed in black, really."

"Our verse will be short but the last note will be _epic_," Mercedes promised. "Then our spots dim…"

"And a spot goes up on Santana, who sings _Out Tonight_ from Rent," Tina added.

"With Blaine and Sam backing her up vocally," Finn suggested.

"And the lights increase so that you can see the really epic dance break between Mike, Tina and Brittany," Quinn insisted. "Super hot and bendy."

"Finally, the whole Glee club assembles, the lights are on fully and we have fire cannons…or just Puck, whatever in the background as _Tonight's Going to be a Good Night_ starts playing, and it all gets mashed together and sounds amazing," Kurt nodded and smiled at the group.

"We bring the fucking house down and at least eight people men and women walk away all pregnant and shit just from the hotness of us on stage," Puck wagered.

"Okay, that sounds epic and perfect," Jesse nodded. Very quickly he tossed out another suggestion, "You have one shot right now to find out where the adults are, how do you do it RIGHT NOW."

"Mercedes!" Rachel hopped over to the girl who pushed Finn off of her knees and met Rachel halfway. She gripped the girls hands and Rachel squeezed her eyes closed and they both concentrated as hard as they could. They could never explain it, but both girls knew what to do, and the rest of the kids knew exactly what was about to happen and turned eager eyes to the pair of girls.

"Coach Sylvester?" Rachel called out.

Mercedes projected an image in front of the group which was jumbled and discolored. The kids tried their best to discern what was what, but could not make out anything but a bunch of blurred colors.

"When my nana's TV goes out she bangs on it with her shoe to make it go clear again," Brittany whispered. "Someone go and hit Mercedes with an orthopedic shoe."

Coach Sylvester's voice boomed through the fuzzy image suddenly.

"For the love of all that's good and ME, please stay put where you're safe. These idiots couldn't harm me if they had machetes for arms and nerve gas for breath, which now that I think about it, isn't too far from the truth. The breath part anyway. Their arms are like undercooked spaghetti noodles. Sylvester out."

The vision blipped out and Rachel jumped at the sudden snapping of the connection between herself and Sue Sylvester. Mercedes tightened her grip on Rachel's hand and they tried again.

"Coach Bieste? Please tell us where you are!" Rachel implored. The group of kids groaned in unison as the same fuzzy image was displayed in front of them.

"No can do, kids. We're okay. Kurt, please know that your dad is okay, he's fine."

The connection abruptly closed again and Rachel pursed her lips as she and Mercedes tried again. On the bleachers, Blaine gripped Artie's hand and Finn reached up and put a hand on his step-brother's shoulder, knowing who Rachel and Mercedes were going to access next. The group held their collective breath, all of them having a larger emotional investment in Burt, the dad who just wanted to take care of them all.

"Mr. Hummel? It's Rachel Berry, we need your help," Rachel said softly. Kurt whimpered when the virtual screen that Mercedes was projecting was still the same fuzzy, disorienting colors.

"Rachel? I can't talk right now," Burt whispered.

"Please, just tell us you're okay!" Rachel begged, her voice cracking.

Puck rose from his place on the bleachers and went straight to Rachel, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and placing a kiss on her forehead. Burt's voice rang clearer and louder throughout the auditorium.

"I'm okay. I'm fine. We're not prisoners of war or anything. But they want you kids. Bad. And I don't want them to get you. Stay safe. The community will find a way out for us. Kurt, I love you. Finn, don't have any of your _good_ ideas. I don't want you in the emergency room. Stay safe kids."

"We have one more shot at this," Mercedes said softly as the connection dissolved.

"I don't think Mr. Schuester is going to work," Blaine revealed. He looked between Santana, Puck and Rachel and asked, "His mind was blank when you tried to get in before."

"You tried to get into Mr. Schue's mind?" Quinn wondered, slightly offended. "WHY?"

"We were…curious," Rachel said softly, wiping away the tear that had dropped down her cheek when the connection with Burt had fizzled.

Puck kissed her forehead again and turned a warning glare Quinn's way before admitting, "I thought Schue was evil. I wanted Rachel to see if he was."

"Why would Schue be evil?" Mercedes furrowed her brow.

"We were…it was just a theory," Rachel said softly, almost apologetically as she looked at some of the hurt faces of her friends. "I'm sorry…"

"It's okay. It doesn't matter now," Tina insisted strongly. "What matters is…the adults."

"Are you ready, Mercedes?" Rachel asked, seeing that the girl was two steps away from ranting about being kept out of the loop. Rachel smiled gratefully when Finn walked up to them and put a hand around Mercedes' shoulder.

"Okay…let's go," Mercedes nodded.

"Mr. Schuester?" Rachel questioned. She furrowed her brow as she saw the black nothing that she had seen in Mr. Schuester's mind previously.

The image went up immediately, and it was completely unlike the other adult's vision. It wasn't purposefully blocked as the others had been. It was really nothing. A black emptiness. Even Mr. Schue's biggest supporters in the room shivered at the creepy void.

"Is he…he's not dead, is he?" Quinn questioned.

The room was silent as they waited with baited breath for a response or a visual. Seconds turned into minutes and still they waited, not quite wanting to end the transmission with so few answers.

"Mr. Schuester, it's Rachel. We want to help you…we want to rescue you, but you have to let us know where you are," Rachel whispered. "Please…"

The vision of blackness blinked out and was replaced by one of bright blue. It blinked a few more times and with each blink the blackness was banished for longer and longer until one static image remained. The view outside was a blue sky, beneath it were small buildings, as if all the Gleek's were looking out a window from about four stories up. The street was still and not for lack of activity. The image that they were seeing was a picture, two police officers getting out of a squad car were frozen mid step, a pair of women crossing the street were frozen in air.

"It's the Lima Police Department," Puck announced. He was met with a few questioning glares, to which he rolled his eyes. "I'm Puck. Remember?"

"Let's mount up," Mike clapped his hands together.

"Giddyup, cow girls," Santana nodded as the entire crew hopped up from their seats.

Jesse watched in mild horror as they all seemed to be ready to rush from the facility with zero preparation whatsoever. He couldn't help but feel petty disappointment as they even forget to raid their locker room/dressing room for all the awesome toys he had gifted them. He held up his hands and rushed to the door and shook his head adamantly.

"What's the plan?" he demanded.

"Go in there and throw fire at people until they give us our adults back," Puck shrugged nonchalantly.

"Not die?" Tina wondered sarcastically.

"I'll even wear the Kevlar, although black is a terrible color for me," Kurt added.

"You can't just ambush these people," Jesse insisted. "They are not to be trifled with. They want you…most specifically they want those of you who have outwardly destructive or violent abilities. They aren't going to think twice about say…shooting Rachel or Quinn or Mercedes in order to get to Puck and Santana and Finn. Please just think…think of what would happen if you ran in with…fists ablaze right now?"

Artie felt himself shaking and tried to control the vision, he leaned forward and but his hands on the lower backs of both Rachel and Mercedes and everyone in the room felt like they were free falling through an infinite white void until they landed on solid ground, standing in front of the Lima Police Station.

"I didn't zip us…did I zip us?" Blaine demanded nervously. "I didn't do it, I swear it!"

A gunshot rang out from the rooftop of the Lima, PD, and suddenly Rachel crumpled to the ground in a lifeless heap. Three more shots were fired in rapid succession and soon Blaine, Quinn and Brittany had fallen to the ground, blood trickling from their hearts. Puck dropped to the ground by Rachel, his hand going to her face and his fingers touching a line of blood that was dripping from her mouth delicately. He shook his head and felt his insides burning. He placed his forehead against hers, which was already cold and clammy. A sound was starting in the back of his throat as tears instantly leaked from the corners of his eyes. It was low and painful and sounded like horrendous mourning as it grew in volume and in seconds was a full on battle cry as he rose from Rachel's lifeless body and stood, facing their unseen assailants.

His body was ablaze in an instant, and it was a fire that none of his teammates had seen before. The flames were so hot that there was no color to them at all, just a clear, dangerous heat rising off of him in smokey spirals. He walked towards the building with his fists clenched at his side, his face filled with more anger than humanly possible as tears fell from his eyes and immediately vaporated under the intense heat. His hands rose and Kurt panicked from his place by Blaine on the ground, where he gripped a lifeless hand in his.

"PUCK, NO!"

It was too late, and the mohawked young man could no longer hear any rational words. His fists rose and none of the bystanders could see what happened next very clearly, because in seconds they were all engulfed in that clear, nuclear heat and everything faded to a blissful, unfeeling black. He had destroyed them all.

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Today would be a good day for one of those two chapter a day things, yes? Coming up later...

Chapter 30 - "This Ain't A Room Full of Suicides, We're Gleekers, We Believe Tonight"


	30. Chapter 30

Number two for the day. Wooohoo! Twenty more chapters to go! Woooohooo! Thanks for the love! Here's some right back for you.

Chapter Title from My Chemical Romance, "Save Yourself, I'll Hold Them Back"

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 30 – "This Ain't A Room Full of Suicides, We're Gleekers, We Believe Tonight"_

_

* * *

When someone in your life dies, whether it be your turtle named Betty, the old crossing guard who used to smack you on your behind with their stop sign, or some random infomercial celebrity, there is one thing that will certainly occur. _

_You will cherish this person who died more than you thought possible when they were living. You can only hope that when its revealed that their death was a huge fakeout that you will keep those feelings of appreciation and love._

_

* * *

_

"Oh God. Where are we?"

"Are we in heaven? Because if so, this sucks. Where's the naked ladies handing out lollipops?"

"I died? I thought I couldn't die! This SUCKS! I wanted to die when I was like 96 like any other normal Asian person."

"Who did it? Was it Mercedes? Cause seriously, Merc. That wasn't nice"

"Noah?" Rachel's soft voice cut through everyone else's banter. "Where are you?"

"Oh thank fucking God…" Puck's voice broke and immediately the blank void they had fallen into began to dissipate before their very eyes. The bright lights of their gym had them blinking cautiously as they looked about. Puck crawled back to Rachel where she was lying on the floor, perfectly fine. He wrapped her up in an iron clad embrace, causing Rachel to squeak out in surprise from the confines of his arms.

"It's okay…it was just…what the future would have been," Artie said softly as his own hand gripped Brittany's tightly as she smiled down at him. The entire group watched as Puck's back twitched and shivered under Rachel's touch as his head burrowed into the crook of her neck. One stifled sob made its way to their ears and Artie felt his resolve break as a tear slid down his cheek. Brittany was instantly on his lap, cuddling his head to her chest as she dropped repeated kisses on the crown of his head. "I think we should carefully plot out our course of action here guys. I don't…that _can't_ happen."

"It won't," Rachel assured him as well as Puck. He was a mess in her arms, the tears that wouldn't stop coming out of his eyes were dripping down her collarbone and soaking the front of her shirt. The rest of the Gleek's began to stand and right themselves after being a very active part of Artie's vision of the future. Puck refused to move however and had Rachel pinned against him as they sat with limbs entangled on the gymnasium floor. She looked around at everyone helplessly, hoping for some much needed assistance.

"I think we all need to think about this for a little," Quinn put in helpfully. "Can we take an hour for a break? Collect ourselves and come up with a few ideas on how to keep everyone totally alive?"

"Make it two hours," Sam said softly. "We'll meet back at the mess hall for lunch and then start throwing ideas out."

"Best idea, ever," Finn nodded, grabbing Mercedes' hand and leading her out of the room, his long legs setting a quick pace that Mercedes had to hustle in order to keep up.

They left two by two, until only Santana and Jesse remained in the room with Puck and Rachel, who still had not moved one inch as Puck openly wept, but the sound of his crying was less harsh than it had been originally. Santana watched them carefully, her face free of malice or mocking as she struggled with her own tears in response. Jesse cleared his throat and held out a hand to her with a lovely and reassuring small smile on his face. She reached out and gripped his hand before dragging him from the gym and straight to her room.

"Noah, darling? Are you okay?" Rachel whispered now that they were all alone. He shook his head slowly in the negative. She rubbed his back with the most delicate of touches, the palms of her hands tracing circles as she tried her best to calm him. Her lips sought out his temple and she placed multiple kisses there, finding that he calmed with each one. "I'm right here, Noah. Nothing happened. It's just what could have happened."

"No," Puck shook his head again vigorously. He lifted his head and caught her lips before she could kiss his temple once more. He kissed her with such fierceness that she could feel her lips bruising beneath his own. She bent backwards and before she knew it she was laying beneath him on the floor of the gym as he finally stopped kissing her to take a breath. "It'll never happen. You can't die. I can't…if you die, if they hurt you, I'm going to kill them all."

"Noah," Rachel breathed, her chest heaving in order to resupply the oxygen he had just sucked straight out of her. "I know that we should work more on your violent tendencies but-"

"Sparky, you don't understand, when I saw you that way, all lifeless and cold, I lost it. There's no anti-violence work in the world that's going to stop that from happening," Puck insisted softly, his hand cupping her face, his thumb rubbing her cheekbone with surprisingly delicacy. "There's too much stuff there…in my heart and in my head. Hundreds of years worth of it. It feels like we waited a really long time to have this chance again and I'm going to fucking snap if they take you away from me."

"I'm right here, no one can take me away from you," Rachel reminded him softly. He kissed her again, gentler this time, his body pressed against hers as they lay on the floor still. She shivered and leveled a hazy and desirous look at him. "We have two hours. Let's go back to our room and I'll prove to you that no one can take me away from you."

* * *

"Finn, slow down…where are we going?" Mercedes demanded as he pulled her down the hallway ahead of everyone else.

"My room," Finn muttered. He put his hand on his door and rushed through the door so quickly that it didn't have time to open fully. His shoulder hit the side of the door and suddenly the steel sliding door was off of its track, hanging loosely. He looked at the door as though it had just kicked his puppy and looked at Mercedes with a sad pout, "Maybe your room?"

"C'mon, and slow down. There is no fire," Mercedes laughed as they walked towards her room across the hall. She opened the door and made sure to hold Finn back before he knocked her door off its hinges too. "Literally. Puck didn't explode. We're all safe. We're okay."

"Yeah, but it could of happened," Finn said quietly. He sat down on Mercedes bed while she stood in front of him so that he had to look up at her slightly. He still held her hand and said, "And I kept thinking that this is really dangerous and look how quick four of us were just…gone in a heartbeat. In half a second."

"I know, it's scary, but it _didn't_ happen. We're all fine," Mercedes assured him, placing her hands on his shoulders and giving them a reassuring squeeze.

"When Puck like, broke down because of Rachel and he started hugging her, something inside of me just…went off. Like a light switch," Finn mumbled.

Mercedes breath caught in her throat. She felt the tears hit her eyes and blur her vision as she processed Finn's words. He still had a thing for Rachel. He was jealous and he wanted her to make him feel better about it. Her stomach dropped out and she felt her heart shattering into a million pieces as she realized too late that she had let her feelings for Finn develop past acceptable levels. She swallowed and began mumbling,

"I can understand why you'd feel that way Finn."

"Yeah, I mean, Puck's always been this guy that had walls up, you know. And he cares about Rachel so much that he was sobbing like a baby on the floor of the gym. I mean…that's deep," Finn marveled.

"Very deep," Mercedes nodded.

"And then…I just thought that I should be able to do that," Finn said softly.

"Well, I'm sure Puck would probably not be too thrilled about that," Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"What?" Finn furrowed his brow, the picture of incredible confusion.

"I mean, he and Rachel kind of belong to each other now, and you can't just decide that you want to go after Rachel again," Mercedes bitterly spat out. "And what is it about Rachel anyway? I mean, I get that Puck and her are soulmates from another century, but why are you so drawn in?"

"WHAT?" Finn repeated.

"I really should have known better, I should have convinced myself to be smarter than this. I'm smarter than this!" Mercedes practically yelled, her hands still gripping Finn's shoulders so tight that she was sure it was painful for him. "But no, I'm not smart, I'm stupid and a fat pig, and I'll always be here to make people feel better about themselves while they pine over twigs and pretty girls in Cheerios skirts and-"

Any further ranting was cut off as a _seriously_ scared Finn did the only thing he could do to get her to stop yelling. He reached up and placed his hands on Mercedes cheeks and pulled her down to him as gently as he could before his lips landed on hers mid-yell. Mercedes eyes opened in wide confusion as Finn kissed her with his eyes completely closed. She had no idea what was going on, but all of her anger and words flew from her as if she had just been a balloon that had been popped.

The pressure and feel of Finns lips on hers was _fantastic_. She swore she felt her pulse slowing even as her heartbeat hastened. Her hands that had been gripping his shoulder so hard that she had bunches of striped polo shirt in her fingers loosened and her hands clasped themselves around his neck in order to steady herself before her knees buckled.

They broke apart the sweet and chaste kiss all too soon and Mercedes blinked her eyes open to see Finn grinning, "I don't like Rachel anymore."

"Okay," Mercedes nodded dumbly.

"You are smart and fun. And you're beautiful and curvy and soft and I like all of that," Finn insisted strongly. "And if I hear you call yourself mean names again, I'm going to be really mad at you and kiss you twice as hard until you understand that I really like you."

"That was my first kiss," Mercedes whispered.

Finn's eyebrows shot northward and he stammered, "Was it okay? Do you want a do over?"

"It was great. And yeah, I do want a do over…"

* * *

"Quinn?"

"Yes Sam?" Quinn whispered as she and Sam lay on the bed fully clothed, cuddled together with the blankets completely up and over their heads. She smiled at him as he kept staring at her, as he had been staring at her since they had left the gym earlier. "Nothing is going to happen to me."

"I just…that was really scary," Sam said softly. "I mean, Puck was all rage and heartbreak and I felt the same stuff he was feeling inside and it hurt to see you like that."

"I'm okay," Quinn promised, her hand on his cheek.

"I know you think some times that I'm just some guy who wants to get you into my bed," Sam admitted.

"I AM in your bed," Quinn laughed ruefully.

"You know what I mean. But I'm not. I really want to do everything the way you want to," Sam explained. "And I do love you. You know that, right?"

"I have this, remember?" Quinn held up her hand and wiggled the fingers that displayed his promise ring. She kissed his lips briefly and said, "You promised me there would be no pressure, and in return, I gave you my heart. I think I know that means you love me."

"We're going to be okay, right?" Sam whispered. "We're all going to make it to the end of whatever this crazy adventure is going to be…"

Quinn put on her best brave face as she put all the conviction she could into her next words."We're going to be fine."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I hope you enjoyed the second chapter of the day. I'm tapped out for the rest of today though. But I'll be here tomorrow with the next installment...

Chapter 31 – "I Want Your Power Studded Kiss in the Sand"


	31. Chapter 31

Hiyo! Just one chapter today, sorry. We're still on track though. I'll have one more two chapter day somewhere before el Bowl de super. I can't wait for this weekend to be over. I hope we get a full preview after next week's Glee.

So, the chapter lyric is of course Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance". Fun fact, the Glee version of Bad Romance is my top played song in Itunes. Totally random, as I didn't even like Lady Gaga until Glee covered her songs. Okay, end of beginning of chapter rambling, on with the show!

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 31 – "I Want Your Power Studded Kiss in the Sand"_

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_

_All the greatest innovations and inventions have occurred mostly by accident. Penicillin? Yeah, someone accidentally ate moldy bread. Chocolate Chip Cookies? Someone accidentally dropped chocolate pieces into cookie batter once. Flushable toilets? Someone accidentally dropped gunpowder into an out house once and they figured it would be better if everything went down instead of up._

_It's no surprise then that when one amazing discovery is made, the opportunists will try to capitalize and recreate the magic that lead to the first discovery._

* * *

"So explain to me again what we're doing?" Artie questioned as Brittany worked like a crazy person on the chassis of one of the Hummers that the community had parked in their garage.

"Wrench!" she called out. Artie tossed the tool she required into her outstretched hand on the other side of the car. She worked quietly and a few minutes later there was a loud popping sound and Brittany squealed and clapped her hands in excitement. "We're upgrading Stubbs for the fight."

"And we're doing that by taking apart this gas hog…how?" Artie wondered.

"Because I know that you're worried about me, because you saw me shot in the not going to be the future vision," Brittany smiled at him. "I don't want to ever see you cry again. So I'm going to make an extra super special place for us to hide."

"With Stubbs?" Artie furrowed his brow.

"Inside Stubbs," Brittany nodded. She grinned past Artie where Tina and Mike had just entered and eagerly began pointing out what she needed. "We're going to replace Stubbs' torso so that Artie and I can be inside of him so that we're both super safe. I'm going to need help moving this metal over to the work bench so I can weld it the right way."

"This is…really amazing, Brittany," Tina smiled as she and Mike did the blonde's bidding. "It's a really good idea."

"I know," Brittany smiled winningly. "That's why I got the brain power, because I was already pretty full of good ideas. Come to think of it, I think Rachel really screwed me in the super power department. She could have given me something else since I was already kind of brilliant."

"Preach it, woman," Artie grinned at her as he reached up to wipe a grease smudge from her cheek.

"So where is everyone else?" Mike furrowed his brow.

"We have another forty-five minutes before the big pow-wow," Artie reminded him.

"They're all getting in extra sexing up time," Tina surmised in amusement. She slapped Mike's behind playfully and said, "I just don't have the stamina to go that many rounds."

"Ohhh…Artie, I'm sorry!" Brittany bit her lip as she fell into his chair to give him a huge hug. "Would you rather go and have sex than help me with Stubbs? I just thought that since we had so much sex last night, you would be okay to help me now. But if you want, we can go and play the-"

"No, no, no, I'm good, I'm fine, I promise," Artie said quickly, smiling as she kissed his lips three times in rapid succession then rose to go back to work on Stubbs. He looked up to see Mike smirking at him and could only shrug, "She's kind of insatiable and I'm kind of…"

"Chafed?" Tina put in helpfully.

"Spent?" Mike added.

"Fully and totally sexually satisfied?" Brittany called out cheerfully. "Don't worry, babe. I tire Santana out too sometimes."

"Freaky deaky ass shit," Tina laughed. She rolled her eyes at Artie and said, "Thanks for waiting to turn into a greedy sexual weirdo skank boy until after we stopped dating."

"Yeah, thanks for that," Mike nodded, not wanting to think that Artie or Tina ever thought about that in their relationship.

"I'm a giver, really," Artie nodded.

"San's a giver too," Brittany smiled as she began to attack Stubbs' torso with gusto. "It's a really good thing that I'm a taker."

* * *

"Hey."

Kurt jumped out of his skin as Blaine zipped into the room quickly. The slightly younger boy placed a hand over his heart and shook his head at an apologetic Blaine.

"We should really get you a bell or something, so that we're warned," Kurt suggested.

"But your face is super fucking cute when I surprise you," Blaine shook his head as if Kurt had just made the worst suggestion of all time.

"Will my face still be cute once you've given me a heart attack?" Kurt gave Blaine a look that Finn had described as the _Dude you are seriously crazy_ face. It was usually a face that Kurt gave Finn after he had one of his truly asinine good ideas.

"Your face is _always_ cute," Blaine replied breezily as he haphazardly threw himself into the overly large leather desk chair. He rolled the chair closer and closer to Kurt at a frustratingly slow pace.

"I know that, but it can't help to hear it. Constantly," Kurt airily dismissed Blaine, even though he could feel his pulse starting to become erratic as Blaine slowly slid his way.

"So…you okay?" Blaine wondered.

"Fabulous. I enjoyed a cat nap with my absolutely favorite eye mask while trying not to obsess over how tired my Dad sounded earlier. I'm feeling rejuvenated and not at all like I just saw a few of my friends die in a frighteningly realistic vision," Kurt nodded. "I'm having a stellar day, really."

"Good, awesome. Just making sure," Blaine nodded. He reached out suddenly and gripped Kurt's hand. "So, do you remember that movie, Speed?"

"Sandra Bullock is my spirit animal, so yes, I've seen Speed and Speed 2 multiple times," Kurt acknowledged. "Also Love Potion Number 9, but that's also because I thought Tate Donovan would be a good person to marry when I was eight."

"Good choice. He has nice hair," Blaine smiled, his free hand going up to his own curls that were starting to edge on unruly once more since he had not had a shape up since the eclipse. His smile disappeared and a contemplative look stole over his face as he questioned, "So what's that line they say at the end…relationships under crazy circumstances never last?"

"Relationships that start under intense circumstances never last," Kurt corrected.

"I'd like to test that theory out," Blaine said thoughtfully. Kurt was rendered speechless so Blaine shrugged and said, "I realize this is one big intense circumstance, and really, we're the only two gay kids in this cave, because after seeing Jesse defiling a more than willing Santana last night, he definitely had to be taken off the list. And I mean, there's danger and disaster around every corner…"

"Certainly more dangerous than Karofsky almost pushing you down the stairs or throwing me into a locker," Kurt said softly immediately wincing at the thought of the brute who had stolen something he would have willingly given to the boy sitting in front of him.

"Yeah, but, despite all of that, I felt, even before the eclipse and Puck starting on fire, I felt a connection to you, Kurt," Blaine honestly revealed. "And sometimes, the way you look at me, or react when I touch your hand…I think you see it and feel it too."

"I've never….I don't know what all of these feelings are, because I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've really had them," Kurt whispered. "But yes…I feel an undeniable connection to you, Blaine. Everything about you makes me feel happy when there are clearly so few things to be happy about right now. And…excited, like we're going to start a really fun adventure that hopefully won't get any of us killed. You're funny and swear a little too much and..."

Kurt paused for an extended moment, taking as much courage as he could in his next breath before breathing out, "And I like you."

"So what we're doing right now is agreeing to be mutually exclusive, right?" Blaine smiled, arching a humored brow. "Because I like you, too. I mean, I don't want you getting some crush on a covert government agent that we may run into. And also you should stay away from Sam, because I don't really trust the highlights."

"I'm pretty sure Quinn's got him wrapped around her little finger," Kurt giggled. "Although I doubted the highlights at first too."

"They're exceptionally done, better than Quinn's even," Blaine chuckled. He squeezed Kurt's hand, surprising the boy who had almost forgotten that Blaine had clutched his hand in his. They were quiet for a few extended moments, as their eyes held firm on each other's, beautiful clear blue into sparkling hazel as if they were staring at the most interesting phenomena on the face of the planet.

Neither realized it, but their heads were slowly angling, the distance between their lips slowly dissipating. Blaine opened his mouth slightly before licking his bottom lip without meaning to. The simple action drew Kurt's eyes to Blaine's mouth and it was then that Blaine started to speak softly,

"I know that your first kiss that really counted wasn't the stuff that dreams and golden age romantic comedies are made of. I was hoping that I could maybe…erase that?"

"I think you should," Kurt whispered, causing Blaine to grin for a split second. The distance between them disappeared instantly, and Kurt closed his eyes as Blaine adeptly pressed his lips softly against Kurt's mouth.

The heat from their lips was almost overwhelming and Kurt felt his lower lip tremble against Blaine's, causing Blaine to smile against Kurt's lips for a split second before intensifying the pressure and intensity of their lip lock. When they finally pulled away, Kurt took a slow and steady breath.

"I can officially say that you're the best kiss I've ever had," Kurt managed a smile. He shrugged and said, "Just don't tell Brittany I said that."

* * *

"I'm starving. Do you think the Gleewarts Elves made something good for lunch? Like fifty meat pizza?" Puck wondered as he and Rachel lazily strolled from their room to the established meeting place. His arm was slung over her shoulder and she was leaning into his body wrapping both of her arms around his torso.

"That's still disgusting," Rachel smiled indulgently at a thoroughly cheered up and relaxed Puck.

"Whatever, Sparky. I just had the best workout ever, I totally need the protein," Puck scoffed, dropping a kiss to the top of her head. "So…we totally didn't come up with any plans."

"I have a few buzzing about in my head," Rachel shrugged. She pulled her left hand away from Puck's midsection and concentrated until a ball of fire appeared in her palm. "There's always this now."

"The fire is _totally_ sexy. Are you like, aroused just seeing me on fire? Because seriously, I could watch you do that all day. It's like, way better than you wearing my jersey or even getting a tattoo of my name on your-"

"You probably shouldn't finish that thought," Rachel interrupted as she blew the fire out of her palm as if she were blowing out a birthday candle. They reached their destination and stopped in front of the door. "Now, Noah…our friends will probably treat you differently now that they've seen the extent of your devotion towards me."

"They saw me cry like a bitch. If they say anything about it, I'm lighting underwear on fire," Puck warned.

"I thought it was absolutely heart wrenching to see the depth of your feelings and your complete and utter investment in my well-being," Rachel smiled up at him.

"Yeah, you showed me how much it turned you on. I really really remember all of that," Puck nodded lecherously.

Rachel rolled her eyes and pulled him through the door where all of the Gleeks and Jesse were already assembled. No sooner had they set foot in the door Santana had already pounced, sneering at Puck as she shot off a quick,

"Wassup cry baby? I'm borrowing our girl. I gotta plan."

"What the hell?" Puck furrowed his brow as Santana pulled Rachel away.

The taller Latina gripped Rachel's shoulders like a vice and her eyes roamed Rachel's face with an undeniable curiosity. Rachel was about to speak and ask what she had done to deserve such a manhandling when Santana attacked, bringing her lips down to Rachel's forcefully as she went from zero to sixty-thousand in the span of a half second. Puck thought for one moment about pulling the water princess off of his girl, but quickly changed his mind as Rachel let out one tiny moan as Santana down-right plundered her mouth.

Everyone's eyes were on the pair, Jesse's mouth was actually gaping and Tina pretended to wipe drool from both her and Mike's mouth. Seconds ticked off the clock and finally Santana came up for air, staring down at Rachel curiously. She reached a hand out for a cup of soda and the water came rushing towards her hand in a long, wavy line.

"Make the water do something, Sparkplug and then we'll let Quinn come over and have a turn," Santana said breathlessly.

"That was my soda!" Finn called out obnoxiously.

"Santana. What. Are. You. Thinking?" Rachel muttered lowly, her face flushed as she licked her lips, tasting Santana's pina colada lip smackers in spite of herself.

"I'm thinking of ways to protect you so the big fire baby over there doesn't kill us if you get hurt or die!" Santana insisted. She shrugged and mumbled, "And maybe I kind of care about you too. Either way, Puck gave you the power of fire by whatever NC-17 stuff you do behind closed doors. Now let me see if you can deal with this water, and if you can, Quinn gets to make out with you next so that you can bubble the fuck up!"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Two same sex kisses in one chapter. I have to say that coming from a conservative area and conservative parents, nothing made me happier and schmoopier than writing "his lips on his." Love-ing-ness in any color or gender is a beautiful thing, is it not?

I will see all of you little lovebugs tomorrow, same superGleek time. same SuperGleek channel with...

Chapter 32 – "Spark it Up, We're Halfway There"


	32. Chapter 32

Happy Thursday evening to all! Here we are again with the daily chapter. I hope that you all enjoy! Thanks as always for the response, the little emails and stuff I get through out the day keep me grinning and slightly crazed!

The chapter title lyric is taken from the Glee Mashup from "Start Me up/Living On a Prayer", which is one of my go to treadmill songs. I like to imagine that I get to dress in leather too. Although that would make the treadmill uncomfortable. Enjoy!

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 32 – "Spark It Up, We're Halfway There"_

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The old adage of when it rains it pours is correct 5 out of 7 times it is said. Statistically speaking it is the most correct old adage to have ever existed. Upon closer inspection you realize that when you're wanting something so badly that you don't currently have, the drought feels unbearable and soul crushing. _

_When that first sprinkle of water or in this case whatever you've been wanting so terribly hits you, it feels as if it is more than you can handle. It takes a calm and steady person to realize that the rain isn't a monsoon, it's just a sprinkle and you probably don't even need an umbrella. Pull your hood up over your head and walk on._

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* * *

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"You're batshit crazy, Santana," Tina scoffed. "If Rachel should be making out with anyone in order to gain powers it should be me. HELLO? I'm invincible!"

Santana pursed her lips thoughtfully then grinned at Tina and gestured with her hand impatiently. "Step on up, Chang-Chang."

"HOLD ON!" Kurt held up his hands to stop Tina from bounding up to be next in line to violate Rachel. "Perhaps we all shouldn't be forcing smooches on our tiny Babs over there."

"I don't know what half of you were doing with your mouths a half hour ago," Blaine nodded in agreement. "It's god damned unhygienic is what it is."

"Thank you Blaine and Kurt," Rachel smiled.

"Besides, I used Lysterine _and_ stole some of Kurt's Colgate, so my mouth is minty fresh," Blaine shrugged. He threw Kurt a scandalously arched eyebrow with a glint in his eyes and said, "You should be making out with me and Kurt so that you can zip away and make the firearms not work against you. Gay men are exceptionally good kissers, you know."

"I know," Rachel nodded as her thoughts tried to process everything that was going on in the room. Puck had moved to stand directly next to her, his arm wrapped around her shoulder possessively as he glared at Santana. She stared around the room at her teammates who were suddenly willing to lock lips with her in order to keep her safe. "I want to assure you all that I have no intention of dying, and you don't have to worry about Puck imploding and taking out all of Ohio."

"It's more than that, Sparkplug, and you damn well know it," Santana scoffed.

"I seriously don't think she does," Quinn said softly as she stared at Rachel intently.

Suddenly she rose, letting go of Sam's hand as she approached Rachel slowly. Her arms were around Rachel in an instant and Puck was too surprised by Quinn's sudden physical affection to remove his arm, so in a way Quinn was hugging them both with strength and conviction.

"Rachel Berry, I've been horrible to you. I've treated you like you were a lesser person than me for so long and I've never truly apologized for it," Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear, her eyes sliding to Puck as a soft smile graced her face. "I'm really sorry, because I was scared of all your dreams and determination and crazy ego. And I let that fear turn into some sort of hate. And it was a hate you didn't deserve and that I didn't really mean. You're a good person, if a little high maintenance and slightly crazed."

"I'll translate the word crazed into _determined_ and _particularly attuned to me attaining my goals_," Rachel whispered, shell shocked as she was, she still had to pipe up at the use of a derivative of crazy.

"Sure, that sounds good too. But seriously, I know we screwed you up with the relentless bullying," Quinn said sadly, squeezing Rachel and by extension Puck, extra hard. "But you're going to have to get it through that _determined_ and _particularly attuned _ brain of yours that we care about you. Not because if you drop dead, Puck's going to kill EVERYONE. But because we care about YOU."

"Oh," Rachel said softly, for the first time in a long time shell shocked to the point where words failed her. She felt tears leaking from the corner of her eyes as her heart warmed at the sentiment that Quinn was expressing.

"It would SUCK without you, Sparkplug," Santana agreed, a soft smile on her lips as she watched Quinn hugging Rachel. Santana's smile lit up her face and made the always beautiful girl look almost angelic. _Almost_. "Of course I explained this first when I plundered your mouth like a first class pirate. Seriously…Puckerman you're a lucky fucking bastard."

"Yeah I am," Puck nodded in easy agreement. "And you know I don't share, Satan-a."

"Greedy, selfish bastard," Santana rolled her eyes, her angelic smile disappearing behind her trademark smirk. She turned so that she could beam that smirk Finn and Jesse's way, "You guys feel like assholes or what?"

"I'm good," Finn shrugged, his hand reaching for Mercedes under the table they sat at.

"I never feel like an asshole," Jesse answered serenely. "It goes against my moral conduct code. Self hatred is banned."

"Okay, does she get it now?" Tina nodded her head to Rachel, who was still in Quinn's embrace. "I'm willing to step up to the plate and give her some invincibility. Because Mike and I have an agreement about same sex cheating. "

"It's pretty much a go for it girl, agreement," Mike whispered to Artie.

"I'm living that wonderful life friend. I'm living it," Artie nodded.

"Seriously, Q, hands off my midget!" Santana scoffed. She suddenly realized that she was holding a line of soda that she had stolen straight out of Finn's cup and she slowly pulled it through the air until it was sitting right atop Quinn's head. She sing-songed obnoxiously, "You'll be soooooorrrrryy."

Rachel squeaked as she blinked her teary eyes as the soda threatened Puck, Quinn and herself as they remained in their embrace. She felt the warmth that she usually associate with Puck ebb and flow through her body and she reached one hand up and a feeble blue sparkling light seeped from her skin and flew slowly upwards until the soda that Santana threatened to spill on their heads was eventually encased in a sparkling blue bubble.

Santana watched in amazement along with the other kids as Rachel pushed the water filled bubble back to Santana, letting it drop at her feet and splash on the girl's jeans. Everyone remained silent as Quinn finally stopped hugging Rachel and Puck and turned in surprise. Finn was the first to speak in the eerily silent and still room.

"Rachel. That was MY soda. You could have popped it back in my cup!"

* * *

Burt Hummel leaned back on his bed, his eyes firmly closed as he willed the hours to pass by quicker. He knew that the community's number one priority was to keep the kids safe, but he had hoped that the caretakers of the kids would have been number two on the list. He knew he didn't have a superpower, but he also knew that he would literally tear a person's head off with his bare hands if someone went after his son. Who could keep the kids safer than him?

He knew very little of his surroundings. His eyes had been tightly clenched since they had led him into the room and removed his handcuffs. It was protocol set in place by the community. They knew Rachel could access minds, and he figured that if he knew less about his surroundings, then Rachel would know less about his surroundings.

The last thing he wanted was an ill-planned rescue mission.

He loved his kids, sure, but he also knew that Kurt had little ability to stop Finn from doing much of anything. His boy Kurt was a pleaser for sure and if the past summer had proved anything it had proved that Kurt wouldn't ruin Finn, Puck and Mike's fun when the boys started plotting out of boredom. He would call an ambulance in an instant, but he couldn't deny them their fun or say no to them in any way.

Example one was the unfortunate slip and slide down the roof into the pool incident. Finn's idea of an epic water slide had sounded amazingly fun in theory, however, neither he, Puck or Mike were master physicists or architects and had misjudged their trajectory. Which had led Finn to land squarely in Mrs. Abernathy's incredibly prickly rose bushes.

Example two was of course when Mike had introduced a History Channel show about superheroes. Burt had laughed about it to himself at the time, because he had known that those boys were destined for greatness that was slightly more epic than a simple comic book character. Nevertheless, the boys had tried to come up with ideas to jumpstart their own mythical superpowers and Kurt had quickly called an ambulance when Mike had nearly been electrocuted in the pool when Puck threw a plugged in toaster with him.

Example three was hard to explain, but it involved Puck nearly losing a pinky toe in a game of Lawnmower cricket. Thank god Kurt had called the ambulance _before_ they started playing that time. The blood loss had been surprisingly minimal for once.

So if those boys had any say in the decisions the Glee club made at that point, Burt was fairly sure that a ridiculous rescue plan was in order. He prayed as hard as he could that Rachel and the other girls could convince them otherwise. Brittany certainly had the brains to figure out that staying put and staying safe was in their best interests. In everyone's best interest. He was positive that Finn would try to work a slip and slide into a rescue mission.

"This way Schuester…"

The voice from outside Burt's room had his eyes darting open in spite of his better judgment. He was out of his bed and by the door in an instant, trying his best to peer through the sliver of wired window that was on his door. He saw three figures moving through the hallway, one walking slightly in front of the other two. Will Schuester, walking slowly, with his shoulders hunched as if he were dejected and hurt.

Burt swallowed and focused on one thing that he wanted to come to fruition. That Will Schuester would keep his damn mouth shut.

* * *

"Did Quinn fondle your hot ass while she was hugging you?" Santana demanded.

"No, Santana," Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Did you guys have a threesome _without_ me?" Santana whispered, her voice ragged with the rage and sudden jealousy.

"Seriously, Santana?" Rachel scoffed in disbelief.

"Well, you just did a bubble!" Santana shrugged. "And you did fire after you and Puck rubbed your naughty bits against each other, so what am I supposed to freaking think?"

"She moved the soda, San," Brittany smiled.

"She moved the bubble," Santana pouted.

"No, she moved the soda in the bubble, I saw it," Brittany insisted. "Rachel knows you care about her too."

"Explanation please, brilliant girlfriend?" Artie asked sweetly.

"She got to use the fire because Puck _loves_ her, not because they had almost sex," Brittany revealed. "And just now…San and Q sort of told her that they love her too."

"Or maybe just care about her?" Quinn offered helpfully. She smiled at Rachel and said, "I'm a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. I don't often talk about love. I mean, I can count on two hands the amount of times I've told my parents that I love them."

"And yet I'm the one that control ice when you're the ice queen?" Santana sneered. She reached out and rubbed Rachel's shoulders and said with a surprising softness, "I totally love your hot Jew ass, Sparky."

"Santana," Rachel scolded.

"So, Rachel can access our powers if we…really care about her?" Mercedes furrowed her brow.

"No, us caring isn't enough. Rachel has to really KNOW and believe it. Like, Santa Claus' sled runs on people believing in him," Brittany nodded, completely understanding her own thoughts. "Its hard to make Rachel believe you care though. Mostly because everyone here was like…a jerknozzle to her. Except me. That's why Rachel's so smart. She knows I love her for real."

"I'm a little overwhelmed right now," Rachel said honestly, her eyes darting around the room. "I'm just…I…"

"We've all been pretty terrible to you in the past. And some times that's because…" Kurt faltered.

Mercedes picked right up though and admitted with the friendliest smile she could muster, 'Because sometimes you've been a crazed out diva with only herself on her mind."

Rachel nodded in acknowledgement and Mercedes continued with a full fledged grin, "But none of us can say that we haven't always been out for number one. Including me."

"This is going to take some getting used to," Rachel acknowledged. "But with everything you all have given me today, I'm truly really thankful."

"Yeah, we're awesome. Come on and sit on my lap, Sparkplug," Santana tugged on her hand, only to have Puck disentangle her hand from Rachel's and hold it in his own.

"So…do we have plans?" Puck wondered of the crew hopefully. If he could get the meeting properly started, Santana wouldn't be so focused on adding Rachel Berry to a list of plundered conquests. He hadn't been expecting the cacophony of sound that erupted when all the Gleek's began talking over one another as they made their suggestions and plans known.

"Well, we were thinking that it really makes sense that we should—"

"And I realized that it was a great idea to just go ahead and-"

"I made Stubbs into a Gundam machine!"

"And we had this sort of epiphany about how we could-"

"And the Slip and Slide will totally work this time if we have Brittany crunch the numbers or whatever..."

"I'm a ball buster. I vote I bust balls."

"Also, it turns out that Jesse is super bendy, which makes me think he's related to Mike and NOT Puck."

"I think I really want to reassess our Kevlar costumes, because I think with the right about of bedazzler here and animal free leather there we could really-"

"I should have a cape because what's more distracting to the human eye than a bright red cape?"

Puck put his fingers to his lips and whistled loudly and obnoxiously. He threw a grinning Jesse a withering look and demanded, "See what happens when we have TOO much time to plan?"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

That was sort of schmoopy for a minute there. And a surprise check in on the captured adults! I adore Burt more than any other parental unit on tv. I wish there was a crossover where he could date my number two favorite parent Lorelei Gilmore.

So, next time...being tomorrow...you will get a surprise. A blast from the past if you will. Much love and happy thoughts to you all!

Chapter33 – "And I Know, You Can't See Right Through Me"


	33. Chapter 33

Uhm, January 21, 2011. Puckleberry duet preview is released.

Lives are literally made instantly better.

That may be a little overboard, but seriously? I love Mark Salling's voice. And I love Lea Michele's voice. Naturally they blend together quite well. I've said it many times, but I could listen to Mark Salling sing harmony for hours. He's quite good at that. Now, I can't wait for the full version. They should do more country! Don't Faith Hill and Tim McGraw have a bunch of schmoopy duets?

Anyway, who care's about this story when they can listen to the 30 second preview over and over again (side note, I highly recommend Bills, Bills, Bills. Darren Criss makes everything more awesome). So yeah, whatever, here's a chapter or you know, whatever.

Chapter title lyric taken from Yellowcard "Only One"

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_**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**_

_Chapter 33 – "And I Know, You Can't See Right Through Me" _

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_There are times when you need a little extra help. You just need one extra pair of hands to get those groceries from your car to your house. You just need one last person to sign their name on a vitally important petition that requests the local city government look into hiring more attractive public service people. You just need that last push on the swing that will truly launch you up to live amongst the glittery stars. _

_And there are certainly times when you do not need the assistance in the slightest. No extra hands needed when you drop your purse that happens to have a vast array of feminine products in, stay put helpful members of the opposite sex. No extra hands needed when wiping that smudge from your face unless you are five, keep your hands away Mommy. And certainly no extra hands when you've reignited a centuries long love affair with your reincarnated soul mate, hands off sexually ambiguous Latina cheerleaders._

_The problem is this, when jumping into a situation that is completely new and foreign, how does one decide before hand if they need the helping hands or if an old friend should stay on the sidelines?_

_

* * *

_

"…and that's why I think the Slip and Slide should be made a part of our kickass plan. Not everyone can move as fast or as well as Sam, Blaine and Mike."

The entire group stared at Finn as he finished his turn at planning. Puck grabbed the rolled up piece of cardboard that Brittany had dubbed, "The Almighty Talking Stick" and slapped Finn over the head with it.

"What happened last time we broke out the Slip and Slide, Finnerfella?" Puck demanded harshly.

"I spent five hours picking rose thorns from Finn's butt," Kurt announced glibly. He leveled a withering but slightly fond look at his step-brother before admitting, "Totally cured whatever crush I ever had on you."

"Okay, so I think that we have a bounty of helpful suggestions," Rachel announced happily. "I think we all agree on how we're going to infiltrate the police department in a way that causes little to no physical harm to both ourselves."

"Speak for yourself!" Tina called out obnoxiously.

"And also those that have taken our adults against their better judgment," Rachel continued on as if Tina had never spoken. "I firmly stand behind Sam's thoughts of not doing irreparable harm to others with our powers."

"It's against the super hero code," Sam nodded.

"That's the same one that says we can't get loads of money from ATM's and poker tables?" Blaine furrowed his brow. Sam nodded in the affirmative and Blaine rolled his eyes good naturedly. "That code sucks like a Hoover. Where's the badassness there?"

"Too right," Puck nodded, bumping Blaine's already outstretched fist.

Rachel whispered in Kurt's mind suddenly, causing the boy to jump, _Oh you dear heart, have you fallen for a gay version of Noah Puckerman?_

_"_Get out of my head, Rachel," Kurt mumbled, causing both Puck and Kurt to look at him in confusion. The boy smiled in spite of himself and clapped his hands together, "If everyone would follow me to our dressing room."

"Locker room!" Mike coughed.

"Dressing area. We'll be able to prepare," Kurt said shortly. "I'm sure that there are alterations that need to be made."

The whole group began to migrate away from the mess hall, Finn shoving bags of chips while trying to squeeze wrapped up sandwiches into his jacket pockets. Rachel struggled with multiple storyboards until both Puck and Blaine took them out of her hands and walked in front of Kurt and Rachel. Rachel grinned at Kurt despite the fact that he was actively trying to ignore her. Rather than invade his mind she poked his arm just once, her face still graced with a ridiculous grin. Kurt rolled his eyes and demanded,

"WHAT?"

"Don't be grumpy, dear," Rachel pouted before her grin came back. "I was only joking."

"Dude, if your boy is mean to my girl back there, I think we can't be buds," Puck looked to Blaine with a shrug. "I bet we'd make good buds."

"No homo," Blaine nodded. He turned to smile with an arch of his eyebrow at Kurt and Rachel. Rachel actually _giggled_ as she realized just how similar that look now was to her since she had made the connection. Blaine looked puzzled and turned his attention to Kurt. "Be nice."

"I'm ALWAYS NICE!" Kurt hissed. "Besides, you have no control over my actions. I'm a fully functioning adult equipped with base reasoning skills-"

"Ohmyshit," Puck mumbled, turning back around so that he was staring straight ahead with a look of shock on his face.

"What?" Blaine wondered curiously.

"Dude, except for their sexy parts and you know, gender, our bitches are interchangeable," Puck mumbled.

"Did you just figure that out?" Blaine laughed. "High-maintenance is the _best_ kind of maintenance, big guy."

"They're killer in the sack!" Santana called out before rushing up to Kurt and Rachel and pouncing on them both. She placed a hand on each Kurt's and Rachel's lower back and grinned like a Cheshire cat. "So, Rachel and I are getting our fitting for our uniforms alone with you, right Kurtsy?"

"San, dearest. You truly are a sexual octagon," Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Decahedron," Santana smirked. "I'm excited about outfits, though, Porcelain. Rachel gets to keep her skirt, right?"

"Fuck right she does," Puck mumbled. Blaine laughed and Puck nodded before saying, "Like you'd let Kurt throw away his skinny jeans."

"I feel so very uncomfortable right now," Kurt announced to anyone who would listen. The fact that this group of friends already assumed and knew so much about his budding relationship with Blaine was more disconcerting than words could describe. They arrived at the dressing room and slid the door open, all stopping dead in their tracks at the two people standing in front of them with wide grins on their faces.

Eleven people went completely crazy, leaving only Blaine and Sam to stare at their responses in shock and confusion. He looked at the two new arrivals and tried to place their faces but never in all of his interactions with the McKinley students had he run into an attractive young black kid that was about his age or an older ethnically ambiguous portly male that stood in their locker room and were welcomed like champions. Blaine shrugged and got in the welcoming land shaking each of their hands before stating calmly, "I'm Blaine. And you guys must be...friends?"

"Yeah, friends, definitely," Matt Rutherford grinned as Coach Ken Tanaka nodded in agreement. "We've come to help."

* * *

"Mr. Schuester. I don't think we have to explain to you how dire this situation is. The kids that you care so much about are in great danger. Every minute that goes by that you don't tell us what you know is only going to hurt them more."

Will Schuester stared straight ahead, his face and eyes completely blank…completely devoid of any emotion. He had been in exactly the same state for the duration of the adults' captivity. Not one word had passed his lips and not one emotion had flickered into his eyes. The government agent sitting in front of the choir teacher wondered what the man must have seen to put him into such a vegetative state.

The government had been prepared for just about anything for the last century. After dealing with the last of the special frontiers throughout the duration of World War One, the United States Government had done their best to prepare for the next influx of genetically gifted young people. They knew the date. They knew where the elusive community had settled the children who would one day turn into potential super weapons. They even knew what families were most likely to produce the second coming of the powers. This was all courtesy of the first immortal, who had destroyed any link he had with the government after World War One.

There had been countless meetings amongst the members of the government that had formed Special Project 1638 wherein they argued constantly about whether to focus their attention on the next generation of superstars and the last remaining superstar. The knowledge that the first immortal contained was vast and limitless. And yet he had cut ties with the United States government, in the process, he had destroyed every human being that had had face to face interaction with him along with all photographic evidence that may have existed.

He had truly fallen off the face of the Earth. So naturally all arguments about trying to find the long elusive first immortal disappeared and instead they focused all of their energies on the next eclipse that would ignite a new set of teenagers.

It didn't take long to narrow it down between the teenagers they were already profiling for the last 16 years. It took one hospital report in Lima, Ohio stating that a young man had been brought in with severely broken ribs after he had been crushed against a locker and another young man with serious head trauma involving blunt force and severe burns that were the shape of a human fist.

That narrowed the search considerably. They made their move and yet the kids had still escaped. They were a formidable crew and it was mostly due to this man sitting in front of him. He had managed to chose every last one of the heroes for a silly Glee club. The president had actually laughed when he realized that his nations future super weapons were actually a Glee club.

Yet whatever Will Schuester had done in the past 18 months, he had turned them into a well-functioning unit that took their singing and choreography skills and translated it into evading any and all attempts to contain them. It was impressive and the government would like nothing better than to understand how he did it.

But Will Schuester wasn't talking.

"Bring her in," the agent roughly ordered.

They had to get Will Schuester talking. No matter the cost.

* * *

"What the hell are you doing here bro? It's amazing to see you!" Mike hugged Matt again.

"You missed lawnmower cricket!" Finn informed him.

"Also, Kurt plucked thistles outta Finn's ass," Puck nodded.

"You just disappeared at the end of the school year and we couldn't get in touch with you," Mike explained. "Schue told us you transferred."

"I did…to a really private and elite school in Massachusetts," Matt explained. He grinned at Rachel and said, "Uncle Leroy said he's so proud of you."

"Hold the fucking phone, UNCLE Leroy?" Puck demanded, looking to Rachel with an astonished smirk.

"Matthew is my cousin," Rachel announced quietly.

"You're her cousin?" Tina wondered. "I caught you staring at her butt at least twice last year!"

"WHAT!" Puck roared.

Matt held up his hands to protest his innocence while Rachel piped up obnoxiously, 'We aren't blood related, I don't see the big deal."

"Your ass is mine to stare at, Sparky," Puck pouted.

"I'm going to bleach out my brain because I NOW find that endearing," Kurt grumbled to Santana, cursing Rachel for equating Blaine to Puck in any manner.

"Matthew and Mr. Tanaka have been training at our home office in Massachusetts," Jesse announced. "They've arrived with a force of approximately 100 individuals in order to help with the rescue attempt."

"100 people?" Quinn gasped.

"All ready and willing to help," Matt nodded.

"But, they're just regular, right?" Sam asked.

"We're kind of good fighters, kid," Tanaka gruffly acknowledged.

"But still, it seems kind of wrong to put that many people in danger," Quinn shrugged. "We have a plan now, can't we do this on our own?"

One by one the group turned to Rachel, looking for some kind of answer to their moral quandary. She bit her lip thoughtfully and let out a deep sigh, "I believe that we can use their help…while simultaneously making sure that no one gets hurt too badly. Do you all trust me?"

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Thoughts? Theories? Questions? Puckleberry duets?

So yeah, Matt and Tanaka aren't going to be the biggest part of this story, but I wanted to bring them in to give the community a friendlier face. They'll serve their purpose later on down the line. Next chapter? Tomorrow...

_Chapter 34 – "This Time We're Not Giving Up. We'll Get Them Freed Forever"_


	34. Chapter 34

Happy Weekend wonderful and amazing readers!

I got a lot of questions about where you can listen to the Need You Know preview. .com/Need-You-Glee-Cast-Version/dp/B004K937PW/ref=dm_att_trk4

Voila! Enjoy! To the Puckleberries that read this, save your pennies for the next 15 days, and when its available on Itunes, BUY IT. The best way to get to RMurph is through his wallet and if he sees that Puckleberry sells...someday we might get more Puckleberry. Spread the word, yo.

And enjoy this chapter! I find it super fun and action packed. The title lyric is taken from Paramore "Hallelujah". I don't care what hipster makes fun of me, Hayley Williams is the best little female rock/pop singer out there right now.

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

"_Chapter 34 – "This Time We're Not Giving Up. We'll Get Them Freed Forever"_

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In life or death combat situations, the best of the both worlds has nothing to do with teenaged pop stars who smoke eight packs of unfiltered Camel cigarettes a day. When your back is against the wall, when you feel as if your life could be snuffed out at any moment there are three things you need in order to survive:_

_1. A Plan. _

_2. The Ability to Deviate from the Plan at a Moment's Notice_

_3. The Strength and Conviction and Love that is Needed to Get Through the Plan or the Plan Deviations. The Metaphorical Light at the End of the Tunnel._

_98% of all intense life or death situations will turn out badly if you do not have the perfect combination of the above-listed elements._

* * *

"He hasn't said a word, ma'am. Do you really think compromising your position will get through to him? Is it wise-"

"Please, don't question me…and really, Lieutenant, go and clean yourself up. You look horrible."

"Yes, ma'am."

Will Schuester sat alone at a stainless steel table, staring blankly ahead as his original interrogator left. The tell-tale sound of high heeled shoes clicking against the linoleum floor echoed throughout the small interrogation room. Still, the Glee club director didn't move, his eyes showed no signs of recognition or interest whatsoever when the newly arrived woman sat across from him and gave him a slight smile.

"Will? I need for you to talk to me. I realize that you may have witnessed some very strange things with your kids from Glee. It's really important that you tell us everything that you know so that we can _help_ them. Will? Can you hear me?"

Emma Pillsbury-Howell sighed deeply and shook her head as she stared at Will in hopes that he would reply to her. That the shock of seeing her there in a situation she certainly shouldn't be in would somehow jumpstart him back into coherence and lucidity. She had been prepared for some truly frightening things before accepting the undercover position at McKinley High. She had been prepared to find the school burnt down to a crisp after the lunar eclipse. She had been prepared for chaos and pandemonium if the kids that she was tracking had turned out to be THE kids.

She was not prepared for a nearly comatose Will Schuester. She can only imagine what horrors and amazing skills he had seen when he had been taken captive underneath the school. They knew of nine original powers, but there were thirteen kids. Her entire department was completely unprepared for what the kids could be throwing at them and Will Schuester was the one person who would be able to reveal new information.

"Will, I know you care about these kids. How can you just…sit there and not want to help them?" Emma demanded. "They're in _danger_, Will!"

Will's eyes finally blinked. He slid his gaze ever so slowly so that he was staring at Emma blankly. She sat back in her chair, shocked at the subtle change in him. Those eyes were empty. Dead inside.

From somewhere deep in his gut a slow, rumbling sound began to rumble, at first just a whisper. It grew in intensity and Emma's eyes widened as she realized that Will was laughing. A deep, gravely chuckle started at his core and vibrated in his throat before exploding out of his lips.

"Will? Are you okay?" she whispered.

He didn't answer her. He didn't acknowledge her in the slightest. He just kept laughing. The laughter was mirthless and his face lacked any joy or happiness however. It was soulless.

It chilled Emma Pillsbury-Howell to her very core. Will's creepy laughter was still ringing and echoing in their room when suddenly, all the lights in the building cut out.

* * *

"Phase one, complete," Kurt grinned at Rachel. He frowned immediately and began fussing over Rachel's Kevlar shirt, adjusting the purple sash he had used to cinch her waist. "Honestly, are you seriously a toddler? Can't you keep your spectacular combat outfit in better condition? I spent time on that."

"Noah had to say goodbye," Rachel whispered as her cheeks flushed.

"You're going to see him again in no less than fifteen minutes. And saying goodbye involves putting his hands up your shirt and messing with the aesthetic I spent countless minutes preparing?" Kurt huffed indignantly.

"Your hair looks sort of…mussed," Rachel said quietly, arching one eyebrow knowingly. "Care to explain?"

"I'm invoking my right as an American and pleading the fifth," Kurt said coolly. His scalp still tingled at the memory of Blaine's hands when he had briefly and violently smashed his lips against Kurt's own when they said goodbye.

"Ummhmm," Rachel nodded. She looked up and said, "Look, Sam is on his way…"

Sure enough, high up in the sky, they saw a blonde head of hair zooming towards them. Kurt bit his lip and realized, "I should have given him a hat…he's a moving target…"

"They won't have much time to focus on him," Rachel nodded as Sam landed between Rachel and Kurt on the top of the Federal Community Savings Bank across from the street from the Lima Police Department.

"Everyone's in place…you going to be okay here Kurt?" Sam wondered.

"I'll be fine…just go and save my Dad, please," Kurt whispered desperately.

He watched as Sam embraced Rachel gingerly, ever mindful of the fact that Puck could _access_ _Rachel's brain_ and check up on the placement of his hands. They took off with speed and soon Kurt was left alone on the rooftop, he lay flat so that he wouldn't arouse any suspicion as he focused all of his efforts on the machines in the police department, expending as much energy as he could so that absolutely none of their machines could work.

His placement was perfect, because he got a bird's eye view of everything that was happening. There was obviously a flurry of activity within the police department as industrial grade flashlights were being turned on rapidly, only to have their power sucked right out of them at Kurt's command. It was as if he was creating his very own light show and even went so far as to have the flashlights blink in unison to a beat inside of his head.

_Kurt, stop that!_

Rachel's scolding in his brain made him stop with his own slight amusement and focus completely on forcing the machines within the building to stop working. It was a weird feeling but he knew it was working because there was a tingling in his toes and fingers like minuscule electric sparks tickling his skin. He knew he had the control and no matter how badly the police and the government agents inside wanted to use their cellphones and their radios, they couldn't. The tingling in his hands intensified and he knew that he had played his part.

He looked to the front of the building to see the next part. He watched in fascination as the rest of the Gleek's appeared in front of the building, flanked by 100 soldiers provided by the community. A protective bubble encased every one of his teammates and the community soldiers immediately before a single shot could be fired.

And the shots rang out in the cold night air regardless. Hundreds of gunshots went off in the previously silent night and either bounced off of the bubble that Quinn had provided or got stuck in it as the Gleeks and soldiers advanced on the building at a painfully slow pace. The contingent approached the door to the building when very suddenly they disappeared completely. Blipped right out of existence.

Kurt craned his neck to see the bubble of super powered teenagers and their community provided army appear on the other side of the building, advancing upon a side entrance. The gunshots were slower to reappear as the people on the inside obviously had no modern means of communicating. As soon as the gunshots did start however, the rescue team blipped out of existence again.

This time two identical images appeared, advancing on the building from opposite sides. Kurt grinned and his eyes searched the street for where he knew Finn and Mercedes were. Mercedes held Finn's hand as they stood huddled together in a darkened alley under the cover of night and whatever clever tricks Mercedes was pulling on non-friendly eyes. Finn actually was laughing as he enjoyed Mercedes' holographic image show.

Kurt grinned when he saw his step-brother drop a kiss to Mercedes' cheek before letting go of her hand and walking under the cover of Mercedes' illusions. Finn gripped the bumper of a nearby parked car and strained only slightly in balancing the awkward object as he lifted it into the air. One moment of concentration and a wrinkling of his nose as a sign of what little exertion he needed and the car was flying towards the police department. Upon impact the car ignited into a large and dangerous fireball, compliments of Puck, who was standing incredibly close to the building in the shadows of one of the police squad cars.

Kurt tweaked his demands on the machines only slightly so that one of those squad cars sirens started to blare for a split second, causing Puck to almost jump out of his skin.

_HUMMEL!_

Kurt jumped himself this time, as Puck's voice growled in his head. He grimaced and thought, _Seriously, you guys swap spit and powers? That's how it works?_

_BOYS! FOCUS!_

They heeded Rachel's angry order and Puck continued to ignite the cars that Finn tossed at the building. Mercedes' visions were slightly less impressive now that Finn wasn't acting as her battery pack, but they were still effective. Kurt watched as one appeared in the front of the building and his eyes automatically went up to the roof where another protective bubble appeared, this time only containing Blaine, Quinn, Mike, Santana, Sam and Rachel_. _

They split up, Santana and Mike remained on the roof while Blaine and Quinn disappeared in a bubble. Rachel gripped Sam's hand and formed her own protective bubble around them as they rushed off to get into the building. Rachel threw one look over her shoulder at Santana and the girl nodded.

Santana bent down, resting on her knees as she placed both hands on the gravelly macadam of the police station rooftop. All it took was one water pipe. She took a deep breath before delving deep down inside herself, pulling up almost every last drip of energy within her body before pushing down with all of her might.

The effect was instantaneous. The sprinklers exploded inside the building with a large bang, the water pouring into every room and hallway of the police department in buckets. Santana pushed again and this time, the water from the toilets and sinks exploded in a rush. One more push and the water fountains became geysers. The police department was rapidly becoming an aquarium.

And yet the inhabitants of the police department couldn't take refuge outside either as it was rapidly becoming a graveyard for tossed and exploded cars. The visions were still advancing on all sides and in the distance, about one block down, a crunching booming noise that sounded eerily like uneven and clumsy footsteps began bearing down on the police station.

Sure enough, Stubbs, newly rebuilt and containing Artie and Brittany, was clunking down the street towards the building that the adults were being held hostage. Stubbs raised his cannon arms and a booming noise exploded into the night air. Canisters flew from the robot's arms and they arched into a perfect trajectory towards open windows of the Lima PD.

Kurt knew that it was laughing gas yet again, and realized that the government gunshots slowed down as they were incapacitated one by one. Tina appeared from behind Stubbs, rushing towards the building in an incredibly fast sprint. She dodged bullets and climbed over the burning wreckage that Puck and Finn had created.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" Tina hissed as burnt metal hissed against her skin. She looked to her left at a smirking Puck and then to her right at an apologetic looking Finn. They were quickly joined by Santana and Mike, who had stretched his body down the front of the building with Santana in tow. Tina nodded as she bit her lip against the pain of her healing injuries. "Let's go bust balls, ladies."

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Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Look tomorrow for another chapter. Or maybe two. Who knows? Much love and Glee, you fantastic people. Love and Glee!

Chapter 35 – "It's a Quarter After One, I'm Immortal and I Need You Now"


	35. Chapter 35

Howdy pretty and pretty awesome people! Welcome to the 35th Chapter Extravaganza of Misfit Toy Hero Squad. I hope you loves it.

For everyone replying that they want more of Couple X and Couple Y, this will happen eventually, I promise. But right now...it's time for action.

The chapter title lyric is OF course Noah Puckerman and Rachel Berry's FANTASTIC duet (Lady whaa? I know not of which you speak) "Need You Now". This is a highly anticipated duet that will be released in two weeks and that we all need to buy with real money and not fake internet wish money otherwise known as torrents. It's less than 10 cents a day. 10 cents a day and I will consider you super mega foxy awesome hot. FOREVER. Enjoy the chapter lovlies.

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**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 35 – "It's A Quarter After One, I'm the Immortal and I Need You Now"_

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* * *

When you're a tiny child, there are some things that you want to see more than anything. Like Santa Claus. Every three or four year old who is taught to believe in Santa Claus cannot wait to meet him. _

_Keep in mind that three and four year olds are basically idiots. _

_They spend a lifetime, which to an idiot is essentially two weeks, fantasizing about Santa Claus, seeing him, meeting him, hugging his jolly self with total love and adoration. They cannot wait to bake him cookies, feed him cookies, and receive loads of wonderful gifts. They literally wet themselves with joy when their (also idiotic) parents tell them that they will get to MEET Santa Claus at the lovely and wondrous local mall._

_They wait patiently in line (i.e. annoying the pants off of everyone and anything in the near vicinity), and slowly make their way up where a teenaged elf hands them a candy cane, picks them up and places them on Santa's lap._

_..._

_..._

_...  
_

_And then they realize that seeing Santa in the flesh is literally the most frightening and horrific experience of their entire life. They had no idea ten seconds ago what Santa actually looked like in the flesh. They wet themselves again, this time out of pure unadulterated fear. Then the screaming starts. The wailing. The ear-splitting cries of the tortured. _

_The moral of the story is that you can spend hundreds of years wanting something really badly. And then you make the mistake of reaching out for what you've wanted so badly and you don't even know what the hell it actually looks like. _

_

* * *

_

Blaine and Quinn zipped back onto the third floor of the police station, the light from Quinn's sparkling blue protective forcefield the only light in the hallway. Water poured down from the broken sprinkler above, hitting the bubble and rolling down it like rain on a window pane.

"You're the best fucking umbrella ever," Blaine quipped.

"Thanks," Quinn whispered. She closed her eyes and concentrated.

_Rachel? Does Mercedes have a visual?_

There was silence on the other end, and Quinn could only assume that Rachel was conversing with Mercedes on the other line in her mind. She supposed Rachel's brain could put her on hold, but they were kind of working on a short time frame, as bullets hadn't flown their way yet, but were certainly on their way. Rachel's voice came through however in a matter of moments.

_Hello Quinn, third door on your left_. _Please be safe_.

"Gotcha," Quinn nodded, turning to Blaine and explaining, "Mercedes told Rachel that it was third door on the left."

"Let's do this and we're out like fat kids in dodgeball," Blaine nodded as the duo rushed towards the third door on the left. Blaine nodded to Quinn, who dropped the bubble for an instant while Blaine kicked the door in. The protective sphere was put back up in an instant and they burst through the door, illuminating the whole thing.

"I'm keeping my eyes closed," Burt announced from the bed. "Want to know why? Because I was hoping that Rachel couldn't see me all this time, and that you guys would stay safe. I decided to keep my eyes closed anyway when the lights went out and the gunfire started and the _fire_ fire started out front and then the sprinklers started. Because I didn't want to see you kids risking your necks for mine."

"Sorry, sir?" Blaine offered. He reached his hand out and Quinn dropped the bubble again for a split second as Blaine pulled Burt off the bed.

He zipped them out of the room before Quinn could bubble up again and they were instantaneously on the roof of the Federal Community Savings Bank. Quinn knew that they were supposed to zip straight to the transport, but realized that Blaine had other plans in mind. Namely making Kurt Hummel the happiest person on the face of the planet.

"DAD!" Kurt called out, rushing over to the newly arrived trio. Quinn managed to shield them when Kurt nearly tackled his father to the ground.

Burt felt his heart near bursting with elation when he felt his son's embrace. He looked to Blaine and Quinn with tears spilling from the corners of his eyes and managed to mumble a soft,

"Thanks, kids."

"Anytime, but we should probably get you to your transport and off this rooftop," Quinn admitted. "Nothing says shoot at me more than a blue force field."

"Kurt, you going to be okay? I'll be back for you in ten," Blaine promised.

Kurt nodded and disentangled himself from his father as he wiped at tears in his eyes. He waved at his dad before they blipped out again and he resumed his position on the edge of the rooftop, staring intently at the police station, unleashing his will upon anything that would listen. With his father safe, he felt happier than he had in days, and he knew that everything was going to be alright.

* * *

"You good?" Sam questioned as he gripped Rachel tightly while he flew down the elevator shaft heading towards the second floor. "Any news up in that noggin of yours?"

"Perfect," Rachel grinned. "Blaine and Quinn have just delivered Mr. Hummel to the transport run by Matthew and Mr. Tanaka."

"_Excellent_," Sam grinned as they reached the second floor and Rachel took one moment to contact Kurt. The door opened and he flew through it as Rachel pointed out where they were headed. Eventually his feet hit solid ground in front of the room at the very end of the hallway. He looked at Rachel and shrugged, "I think that would have been more epic if I had a cape."

Rachel giggled in spite of herself, but the giggle stalled and died in her throat as her eyes widened at what was currently happening behind Sam's back. Through the darkness, she saw five or six shadows rapidly approaching them, guns at the ready. She gripped Sam's shoulder and he felt his energy drain away as three things happened very rapidly.

A strong blue protective wall appeared in front of them, which protected them from the ensuing gunshots.

The biggest and strongest fireball she had ever created rushed through the darkened hallway, illuminating the faces of the men who had just shot at them as it sped towards them, causing them to jump and seek cover as it landed at their feet.

And finally, the water that had been forcefully expelled by Santana slowly gathered as Rachel pushed with all of her might, creating a wall of water that she gradually forced into ice.

Sam could only watch in amazement before he remembered he had to breathe. He grinned at her finally as she let go of his shoulders and she nodded with an accomplished smile on her face.

"You're really amazing, you know that?" Sam wondered.

"I believe that if you're going to do something, you should really attempt to do it all the way," Rachel nodded.

"I'm so glad that you're my friend," Sam laughed. "You'd be the worst enemy to have EVER."

Rachel beamed at him, focusing only on the word _friend_ he had used as she gripped his arm and turned towards the door that held one of their captive adults. A line of water that had pooled at their feet made its way to the lock on the door and froze instantly. She nodded at Sam and he braced himself before ramming the door with his good shoulder.

The door sprung open and Sam practically fell into the room quickly followed by Rachel who froze the door shut and placed another protective barrier wall up immediately. She should have been focused however, on what was currently happening to Sam.

"HIIIYAHH!"

"NO!" Rachel squealed as the sound of metal clanking against Sam's head echoed throughout the dark room.

"Rachel?" Coach Bieste called out, dropping her weapon to the ground. "Who did I just knock out?"

"Sam…oh goodness, Sam!" Rachel fretted as she lit a fireball in her hand for light. She bent to the ground and placed her hand on the side of his head, wincing at the already forming bruise.

"Rachel…I'm so sorry," Bieste mumbled. Her brow furrowed and she wondered, "Are you making that fire?"

"It's a long story, which I will be happy to explain, but we HAVE to get out of here," Rachel insisted strongly. She flinched when she heard the gunshots outside of the door breaking the ice she had originally trapped the government agents behind. "Unfortunately Coach, you've knocked out our means of transportation out of here."

"We told you kids to stay put!" Bieste defended herself. "I wasn't expecting a rescue mission since I specifically asked you not to…I assumed that was the goons from the government coming in to finish me off."

"Sam? Are you alright?" Rachel asked softly. He was unresponsive, so Rachel did the only thing she could think of as she knew her energy was waning and the protective shields she had put up would be of no use.

_Michael?_ _Sam and I need help on the second floor, east side of the building, room on the end. We'll be waiting by the window. Bring Tina._

Rachel looked to Coach Bieste and wondered aloud, "Could you support his weight and we can wait by the window. Michael will be there shortly to help."

_Sparky, you okay? The Chang-Changs just ran out on me_.

Rachel smiled and assured Puck as best as she could, _Everything is under control, Noah. I'm fine. _

_I'm on my way…hold tight._

"NOAH!" Rachel actually hissed out loud as the connection was severed abruptly. She sighed heavily and made her way to the window and waited a few minutes before the most gorgeous face of Mike Chang appeared. He held up a brick and motioned for the to move away from the window before he shattered it. Bieste handed Sam to Michael who quickly brought him back down to the ground where Tina waited for him. Bieste was next and Mike was quickly back to get Rachel when she shook her head adamantly.

"Noah is on his way up here, heedless to my warnings!" Rachel fumed. "I have to stay here or else…I don't want to think about him on his own. He'll require backup, Michael."

"Rae, I don't want to leave you here," Mike furrowed his brow in confusion.

"GO!" Rachel ordered, tapping into just a little bit of control. "The plan is still very much in effect. You and Tina will take my place with Sam and Coach Bieste. I'll take your place with Noah."

"I'm fucking invincible you MORON!" Tina shouted from down below. She shook her head in disbelief and called up, "And I LOVE YOU, so if you get shot, heal yourself, dammit!"

Rachel nodded and watched as they made a run for it, just as Brittany and Artie guided Stubbs closer to the building to distract the government agents who would have happily shot at the escaping quartet. Rachel smiled at the seamless teamwork before turning towards the door where there the sound of what very well could have been an explosion caught her undivided attention.

She lifted the shields and opened the door and was not surprised in the least to have Puck reaching down and lifting her up in his arms. She grinned in spite of herself and felt her energy renewed as he held her tightly in his arms. He murmured in her ear gruffly,

"I missed you. Tina's no fun as a demolition partner. She swears too much and legit scares the bejesus outta me."

"You're adorable," Rachel grinned. She looked over his shoulder at the fire ruined hallway and brought up a shield behind Noah's back as some of the dazed and confused agents who had been blown off of their feet started to come to. "We should head downstairs. Coach Sylvester and Mr. Schue still need to be released."

"I love it when you're all kickass and take charge," Puck gripped her hand, causing their shield to intensify as they rushed down the hallway towards the stairwell.

"You just love me all the time," Rachel countered in a matter of fact tone.

"Fuck. You're right, totally sucks," Puck sighed then couldn't contain a sly grin as he dropped a quick and sloppy kiss to her forehead. "We should hit the basement. I bet they put Sylvester in there. I'd put Sylvester there…like a beast in a dungeon."

"Noah, please remember this for me later if it slips my mind. I adore when you speak in metaphors," Rachel whispered as her cheeks flushed.

"Can do, Sparky. Can do," Puck actually laughed as they rushed down the stair case to the basement.

When they reached the lower levels, Finn and Santana were working in tandem as they made quick work of the unfortunate agents who had pulled lower level duty. Santana had frozen five of them, Finn had had tied another few up with a fire hose and on the other side, Sue Sylvester had freed herself from her prison miraculously enough and was currently engaged in hand to hand combat with at least four government agents. And she was undeniably winning.

"Next time you attempt to incarcerate me, do yourselves a favor and shove your own feet up your own asses!" Sue roared angrily. "Save me some trouble so I don't have to do it for you!"

She knocked out her last two attackers by smashing their heads against each other and she stood above the human wreckage with her hands on her hips, her mouth wide with a victorious sneer. She rolled her eyes at the children in front of her who had identical wary smiles on their faces.

"I assume you have an exit strategy?" Sue barked.

"We never went over exit strategies in training sessions. Mostly you just tried to blow us up," Finn reminded her.

"This way, Coach Sylvester," Santana pointed towards emergency stairwell, where they would climb one flight to freedom and use Stubbs as cover as they made their way to the transport.

Puck and Rachel waved their friends away before looking to each other with a nearly identical accomplished grin. Three down. One to go.

* * *

"What happened to Sam?" Quinn demanded harshly as Coach Bieste deposited him into the transport vehicle, an armored bank car manned by Coach Tanaka and Matt Rutherford.

"Coach Bieste took him out," Tina explained.

"Where's Rachel?" Blaine worried. "She was supposed to be with them."

"She went with Puck since Tina and I were bringing Coach Bieste and Sam back here," Mike muttered as he struggled to catch his breath. They had just dashed a mile with the dead weight of Sam between him and Coach Bieste. It had not been easy.

"I see Santana and Coach Sylvester," Matt announced. He looked to Blaine and said, "That means Finn is going to extract Mercedes soon. You should go and get Kurt now. Brittany and Artie will start to pull back in five."

"How will Rachel and Puck get Mr. Schue?" Quinn demanded.

"They'll…I don't know," Tina bit her lip fretfully.

"Blaine, zoom me in there, I'll focus on shielding them and Puck and Rachel can both go on the offensive," Quinn decided instantly. She gripped Blaine's hand and thankfully the boy immediately complied before Burt or Bieste could protest.

Sue arrived at the car and parked, "Where'd Q, go? If any of you say back into that building after Schuester, I will find a way to give you horrifying night terrors."

Mike swallowed and shrugged before whispering, "She went back into the building for…uhm…"

"Your lack of imagination and lying ability makes me seriously rethink the No Child Left Behind Act, other Asian."

* * *

"Will…I'm going to need you to stay in this room," Emma ordered quietly as she surveyed the action going down outside. "Just…you know, stop laughing and stay comatose."

Emma turned from the first floor window, intent on walking from the room and taking command of her troops. This was an incredible opportunity. The children had come to them. Now it was just a matter of keeping the most important ones alive and she would be given a medal from the President himself. She smiled in spite of herself at her incredible stroke of luck.

She never saw it coming.

The metal chair that Will Schuester had been sitting on as she stared out the window met the side of her head, and the last sound Emma Pillsbury-Howell ever heard was the violent and messy cracking of her own skull. Will stood over her lifeless form for extended moments as he blinked his eyes slowly and methodically as he came out of whatever trance he had forced himself into over the last few days.

His thoughts came back into his brain in a rush as he realized that his kids were doing their best work in and around the building he was standing in. He had to find her. He needed her. He had to make her understand that she was his only way out.

He waited patiently as the action went down around him, his eyes focusing on the way the blood oozed around the pitifully dead woman at his feet. He marveled over the way one small blow had snuffed the lovely woman who he had once thought he might be able to love one day completely out of existence. It was an amazing phenomena if he really thought about it. To die.

He was jealous.

Will Schuester wondered what it would feel like. To be able to die. To be able to move on from this hideous hell that he had been forced to endure for nearly four centuries. To escape from the petty human emotion and war and hatred. To finally grow old and find eternal rest.

She would be able to figure it out for him. She didn't have a chance to all of those centuries ago. But she would now. She had to.

"Mr. Schuester?" the dulcet tones of Quinn Fabray's voice echoed through the room like a beautiful melody.

Schue smiled, genuinely and truly as he drank in the sight of the lovely and beautiful girl. He knew that she would come to him.

"You'll help me," he whispered, before walking towards her slowly.

"Yes, I've come to help…we have to wait for-"

Schue's smile never faded and his eyes only looked conflicted for a second before his arm swung out and rendered a blow to Quinn's temple just hard enough to have her fall unconscious in his arms. He pulled her body to him and whispered,

"You'll help me."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Yes, es, as many of you clever and awesome readers have guessed, Mr. William Schuester is the first Immortal. He just did a very bad thing or two, but I will tell you this. I still love him.

Today would be a good day for two chapters? Yes? We shall see. Next chapter?

Chapter 36 – "I Would Live 500 years, and I Would Walk 500 more"


	36. Chapter 36

Good evening lovlies! Welcome to Chapter 36. It's short, but hey, it's your second chapter of the day and I didn't want to completely ruin your appetite.

Also, extra note. I don't think I have to tell people that are reading a story where teenagers have fire shooting from their palms, but a little suspension of disbelief is required to read this story. Just a tad, really. Although I try to incorporate the show's history in as much as possible, certainly there needs to be a little leeway where Schue's show past is concerned. I know this could be a dealbreaker for some of you, and I'm sorry to disappoint, but Schue has no parents, they died in the 17th century and things with Terri will be explained eventually.

Title Lyric is taken from the Proclaimer's "500 Miles".

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* * *

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**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 36 – "I Would Live 500 Years, and I Would Walk 500 More"_

_

* * *

Every person has that one moment in their life wherein their heart breaks irrevocably due to another person's actions. It's the moment that forever jades your perception of humanity. You doubt yourself and everyone as a result of one person out of billions in the world. Something innocent and beautiful dies inside of you and can never be brought back, no matter how you may try to resuscitate it._

_You would think that if every person on Earth has this one moment in common, it would bring about an understanding between humans. It would create solidarity and unity. However, just as love begets love…hate begets hate._

_

* * *

_

"Noah!"

Rachel's voice was a command, simply saying his name activated something deep within him and before he knew it, there was an explosive fireball leaving the palm of his right hand barreling down the tunnel and sending a dozen government agents diving out of the way to avoid being lit on fire. Rachel gripped Puck's arm tightly and pulled as much energy from him as she could as she forced water down the same path the fire had gone down, and instead of freezing it, the water heated immediately, nearly to the point of boiling, causing their potential attackers to flee in order to avoid being scalded to death.

"Kick ass, Sparky," Puck complimented. He looked around and wondered, "Where do you think Schue's hiding? I mean…you can't get into his brain still?"

"He's either not here or his mind is still totally blank," Rachel acknowledged.

"Shit, then can't we just leave him here?" Puck groaned.

"Half of our team would probably not appreciate that," Rachel reminded him.

"So, let's start blasting doors in," Puck grumbled, doing his best to appear barely enthusiastic as he and Rachel casually strolled down the previously dangerous hallway. Puck threw fireballs at each door, and Rachel immediately brought up a defensive forcefield as they encountered room after empty room.

They had managed to get to the second to last door when Blaine zipped in behind them.

"We need to get the fuck outta here. Po-Po is on the way, well, more reinforcements," Blaine announced blithely. "Where's Quinnie-poo?"

"Quinn? She should have been with everyone else!" Rachel furrowed her brow, closing her eyes in concentration. "Oh God…I can't find her…"

Puck blew the next door in and all three teenagers gasped at what they saw.

The very dead Emma Pillsbury lying in a pool of her own blood.

* * *

"I can't believe you kids! We asked you all nicely not to come and rescue us."

"It's a disappointment and we had hoped you were through with disappointing us."

"You all make me sick. I had the situation under control and was about to break us out the very moment before you started your adorable rescue mission which, by the way, only made my work even harder! I don't know what I ever did to all of you to make you hate me so much. You act as if I went around stealing your lollipops and telling you that The Rock is not in fact the tooth fairy."

"You tried to explode us!" Tina reminded a blue in the face and ranting Sue Sylvester.

"And you set a killer robot on us?" Mercedes guffawed as their transport rushed along at a ridiculous speed. She peered out of the tiny screened window and drew in a sigh of relief as she saw Stubbs zooming along behind them. She gripped Finn's hand tighter and worked on keeping their cover of illusions up even as more government vehicles sped towards the Lima Police Station.

"Quinn…"

Everyone's eyes went to the barely conscious Sam as he stirred slightly, his hand going to the huge lump on his head. The kids breathed a sigh of relief in that his interruption by way of rejoining the land of the awake gave the adults something more to focus on than the rescue they HADN'T wanted.

"Sam? You okay kid?" Burt questioned.

"I'm really sorry, Sam. You surprised me," Bieste admitted ruefully.

"Where's Quinn?" he asked quietly, blinking his eyes to regain some measure of focus.

"She went back to help with Schuester," Sue spat bitterly. "I can understand that you wanted to save us, we are the only people on this Earth qualified to take care of you…but _Schuester_? You should have left him rot."

* * *

Blaine zipped back into their underground home with an emotionally distraught Rachel and stunned Puck in tow. He looked between the two in horrified curiosity as he measured their reactions. He flinched at the tears in Rachel's eyes and asked cautiously,

"Did you know that woman?"

"That was our guidance counselor," Puck whispered. "She was…that wasn't a gunshot. Someone smashed her head in."

"Oh God," Rachel sobbed, covering her face with her hands. Both Puck and Blaine went for her at the same time. Puck getting his arms around her first as she buried her head against his chest. Blaine simply wrapped his arms around the both of them as Rachel's harsh sobs muffled between the two boys slightly.

Jesse rushed into the dressing room and furrowed his brow at the sight, "Please tell me that no one died…no one could have died because Rachel's still here. What happened?"

"Uhm…we didn't find Schuester. Quinn is MIA, but obviously still alive, and we just saw their guidance counselor bludgeoned to death before blipping back here," Blaine explained quietly, letting Puck and Rachel go reluctantly. He walked towards Jesse and explained further, "We had to get out of there, reinforcements were on their way. The transport is secure when I brought Kurt and they were heading home. But…Quinn…"

"Quinn!" Rachel sniffled as she turned in Puck's arms. She closed her eyes tightly and pleaded with some higher power for a small glimpse into the girl's mind.

Nothing.

Fuzzy warm blackness.

"She's unconscious," Puck mumbled miserably, seeing exactly what Rachel was seeing as she took him along for the quick and disappointing trip. He squeezed his arms tighter around Rachel's waist and murmured, "Try Schuester again."

Jesse furrowed his brow in confusion but a flicker of understanding settled into Blaine's eyes. Rachel did as requested and she tried as hard as she could to locate Mr. Schuester's mind out of millions of minds out there.

She gasped in horror and looked to Puck with wild and terrified eyes. She couldn't force the words out of her mouth and she simply shook her head slowly as the color completely drained from her face. Puck nodded, not even needing her to zip her thoughts into his brain. He turned to Jesse and Blaine and explained,

"Schuester's our immortal."

* * *

Will Schuester looked from the beautiful girl sleeping peacefully on his right to the road stretched out in front of him. He felt the invasion immediately. He hadn't truly felt that connection in such a very long time. He shut it down immediately and smiled gently into the night as he continued to drive down the barren and cold rural road.

"My love, I can't let you into my mind, although it does my heart good to know that you seek me out in your sleep," Will murmured. "You'd relay the news of your whereabouts to the Fire in no time. And really…you've spent eternity with him so far. I think that's enough punishment for one beautiful girl to bear."

He remained quiet for a few minutes as he continued to steal glances Quinn's way as she remained blissfully unconscious to his ramblings. He had always felt a connection to Quinn and now he finally understood. She was the Mind.

"This time…you're truly mine."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

pedoWill. Just saying. Have a wonderful evening, everyone! Thanks for the support and love. See you tomorrow with...

Chapter 37 – "Love Me When I'm 389"


	37. Chapter 37

Good evening lovely readers! Sorry I'm late. Still in time though! The little italicized intro paragraph was surprisingly easy to write this time. They're never too difficult, but this one was easy.

The chapter lyric is taken from a Beatle's song "When I'm 64". Have you heard of the Beatles? Apparently they're this wicked boy band from a long time ago. : )

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 37 – "Love Me When I'm 389"_

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* * *

There are those misinformed people that think love comes from the heart. It does not. It comes from your brain. Your heart just pumps blood. The greatest lie that the greeting card industry every sold was the role your heart plays in love._

_There's a tiny portion of your brain with a super complicated name that controls love. To ease your transition into correct thinking, we'll call this the heart of the brain. _

_The heart of the brain is 489 times more stupid than the rest of your brain. When you think about this you realize that other parts of your brain can analyze, recognize and do complex mathematical problems. The heart of the brain simply does one thing, exude love. _

_Love is blind is one of the most untrue statements made about love in the last few centuries. Love is not blind. The heart of the brain is neighbors with that part of the human brain that sees. If they were people, they'd be next door neighbors and brothers in arms, best buds if you will. So it stands to reason that the eye of the mind wants to hook his homeboy up. The problem is if the eye of the brain is stupid, and the heart of the brain is stupid, how on Earth can anyone avoid stupid decisions regarding who their love is placed with?_

_

* * *

_

Rachel was just beginning to compose herself although she was reluctant to leave the safe haven of Puck's arms, even as the roar of the transport vehicle echoed throughout the underground hallways of their safe haven. She straightened her posture, her spine going rigid as she pulled away from Puck, only to have him latch onto her tighter.

"Sparky, before all hell breaks loose, just know that this isn't your fault. And we will deal with this shit and we will find Quinn," Puck promised. "And I don't want you burning yourself out…"

"Thank you, Noah," Rachel whispered. She heard voices approaching them and she turned away from him while mumbling a not very confident or Rachel Berry-esque, "I'll be fine."

Mike and Tina were through the dressing room doors first and Tina squeaked in relief before rushing to Rachel and wrapping her up tightly.

"You're alive…so everyone's fine…oh thank fuck!" Tina squeezed Rachel to within an inch of her life.

"Sam will be able to calm down," Mike smiled happily as the man in question was helped into the room by Finn. Mike's face fell instantly as his eyes darted from Jesse to Blaine to Puck and then finally to Rachel. "Q's in the bathroom right?"

Rachel bit her lip and eased out of Tina's iron clad embrace. She tried to fight back the tears that were threatening again and couldn't, her face remained stoic and as blank as possible but tears slipped out of the corners of her unblinking eyes against her will as she faced a suddenly very pale Sam and the rest of their newly arrived team.

"Noah and I were on the first floor, looking for…for Mr. Schuester," Rachel couldn't help but feel that bitter, chilled tone her voice adopted when she simply thought of their Glee director. "We came upon a room where Mrs. Pillsbury-Howell was…"

"Dead, we saw it," Artie explained. "It was horrifying, I'm so sorry you guys found her like that…I can't get the vision to leave me…"

"I'm so sorry, Artie," Rachel whispered, not wishing the sight of the guidance counselor's crumpled and lifeless body on anyone. But for Artie to have seen it and for Brittany to have to relay the news to the others seemed extra cruel.

"Is Quinn okay…is she heaving? Because she doesn't like blood," Sam mumbled as he leaned heavily on Finn, his head still pounding and his equilibrium way off. "I got a paper cut in physics one day and she nearly passed out and threw up at the same time…"

"Sam," Rachel interrupted with as much gentleness as she could muster. "Noah and I never saw Quinn in the building. The room where Mr. Schuester and Quinn were in, with Mrs. Pillsbury Howell was already empty."

"Mr. Schuester?" Finn furrowed his brow. "Mr. Schuester was in the room when Miss P got killed? That's horrible."

"He was," Rachel nodded.

"He _killed_ her," Puck announced angrily.

"You're crazy, matchstick," Mercedes scoffed. "Mr. Schue LOVED Miss Pillsbury. Like, penguin lifemate love."

"Yeah, if the cute little guy from Happy Feet ever bludgeoned the chick penguin with a freaking baseball bat, then sure, that works," Blaine piped up. "The woman's skull was cracked open…"

"Mr. Schuester couldn't have done that," Finn shook his head in denial.

"Mr. Schuester has Quinn," Rachel whispered. "I tapped into his mind for a second before he blocked me out again. She's unconscious and they're driving to God knows where."

"He's probably driving her back here," Mercedes shook her head, holding steadfast with Finn in their belief that Will Schuester could do no wrong.

"So, Mr. Schuester is evil? Is that why his mind was blank?" Santana wondered. "Is he like some super government dude with mind blocking powers?"

"He's the immortal," Brittany whispered, her face crumpling in realization as tears hit her eyes. She was pages ahead of everyone else, which she was used to by now. She shook her head and began doodling on her right hand with her left index finger, calculating, translating and theorizing whatever she could to no avail, "He took Quinn…I can't figure it out."

"Are you CRAZY?" Mercedes hissed. "We've known Mr. Schuester for two years. Don't you think we would know if he was some dude that couldn't die and that had a serious jonesing for Rachel?"

"Didn't you crush hardcore on him last year between me and Puck?" Finn demanded. "If he was the immortal, he'd have wanted you back. I mean…the immortal wanted the mind."

"And he turned you down cold, girl," Mercedes reminded her.

"Will you guys shut the fuck up and listen to reality?" Puck demanded. "Most of us kind of knew that Mr. Schuester wasn't exactly fucking kosher!"

"He was seriously fucking creepy," Blaine agreed. "I mean, how did he know to follow us when we zipped out of Rachel's room? Why else was his mind so blank?"

"I understand that you two aren't quite willing to believe our theories right now," Rachel said diplomatically, her voice soft, almost weak. "But arguing amongst ourselves isn't going to rescue Quinn. What can we do to convince you so that we can move the rescue process along?"

"Show them what was in his mind…they'll see," Santana said stiffly, eyeing Finn and Mercedes with no small amount of annoyance.

"Shit was creepy," Blaine reiterated.

"Mercedes?" Rachel asked softly, reaching out a hand.

Mercedes reluctantly held Rachel's hand and between the two of them, they projected an image for the group. One large blank screen. Nothing but an inky, empty blackness. Rachel concentrated as hard as she could and both Blaine and Puck put a hand on her shoulder and suddenly there was sound.

"Quinn, my darling girl. You've got to stop trying this…I'm going to take you some place safe. And then I'll explain everything. You'll make everything right for me, finally."

The connection snapped and Rachel felt her body crumple as Schuester physically shoved her out of his mind. Blaine and Puck were quick to hold her upright both staring down at her with nearly identical concern. Mercedes staggered and Finn let go of Sam in order to support her before she could fall. Sam stood straight, his eyes blinking ever so slowly as he digested the new information.

"That was so fucking gross," Santana hissed in annoyance. "What the fuck does he plan to do with her? Why is he being such a fucking pedo?"

Brittany stopped writing into the palm of her hand and her blue eyes glazed over with sudden fear. She bit her lip and shook her head, going back to her hand to look over her invisible work before announcing very quietly, "Mr. Schuester thinks that Quinn is Rachel."

"Whaaaaat?" Artie's eyes nearly bugged out of his head as he looked up at Brittany with a million unanswered questions. "Please explain."

"Mr. Schuester…the immortal," Brittany looked to everyone, leaving lingering pointed gazes at Mercedes and Finn, hoping that they had finally caught up to her humongous brain. "He thinks that the Fire stole the Mind from him all those years ago. And he really loved the Mind back then. And he's waited all this time so that the Mind would come back so that he could finally get her. And now the Mind IS back, but Mr. Schuester thinks that it's Quinn."

"So the douchebag has a hard on for Quinn because he wanted to bang the mind 372 years ago?" Puck narrowed his gaze and looked down at a suddenly shaking Rachel. So much for her not taking too much blame and burden on her shoulders. "I'm gonna punch Schuester in the face."

"No offense, Jesse, but seeing your face right now is kind of making me want to punch you too," Blaine suddenly put in.

"I'm not following, and please, don't punch me in the face," Jesse ordered coolly. "My face is perfectly symmetrical and any potential bruising would throw the balance off."

"Rachel used your face in a sort of flashback," Kurt explained quietly. "We should have known. Brittany made the observation even before her powers kicked in that you looked like his son."

"I told you that I've always been smarter than everyone," Brittany practically whispered.

"So…what now?" Sam demanded loudly. "Do we just stand around and talk and think and make funny comments every once in a while-you know, while that sick motherfucker has Quinn and is going to do God knows what to her thinking that he's in love with her or something…"

"Dude, calm down, we'll get her back," Mike offered helpfully. "Schue wouldn't hurt her."

"You guys said he bashed our guidance counselor's head in!" Sam yelled. "What's to say he won't…I'm going to be sick."

Sam actually swallowed slowly and turned green around the gills at what he suddenly inherently _knew_ what Schuester was capable of. He swayed in his spot and his gaze landed on Rachel, who was silently crying as she stared back at him, as she had been since the moment their transmission into Schue's mind had broken. He could feel her in his brain, trying to calm him, trying to keep him steady.

It clearly was not working.

"You know what he's capable of, don't you, Rachel?" Sam whispered forlornly, his own eyes filling with tears. "You aren't telling us something here."

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but no sound would come out. Sam took that as all the answer he needed and he turned quickly, despite the pounding in his brain. He felt Rachel try to take control and he did something that not one of the Gleek's had figured out to do yet.

He shut her out.

"While you guys stand around and do nothing about the fact that the girl I love more than almost anything is in the hands of a 389 year old killer psycho skank-man…" Sam's sentence began to fade as he walked from the dressing room. "I'm going to go and find her!"

"SAM!" Rachel screamed, as she could no longer telepathically beam her calming reassurances into his brain. She rushed after him, breaking into a sprint as he took off through the air, rapidly towards the exit. "Don't, Sam! Come back!"

Puck was right behind Rachel, the Gleek's trailing behind him. He caught Rachel in the nick of time, because the moment that Sam flew from their compound, Rachel collapsed into a lifeless heap. He held her close and breathed deeply when he saw that she was still breathing, but her energy had obviously been stretched too thin, because she was completely unconscious.

The adults plus Coach Tanaka and Matt came strolling down the hallway from the garage where they had been putting a few things in order. Sue looked up the scene with a raised eyebrow.

"All right freak shows. What did we miss?"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Again, disclaimer. I love all characters, so I apologize if Mercedes and Finn seemed a little douchey. They'll have a chance to explain themselves. See you tomorrow hopefully earlier than tonight with...

Chapter 38 – "What if I went and Lost Myself? Would You Know Where to Fly to Me?"


	38. Chapter 38

Here we go again! Worked a little later than usual on this. Sorry it's so late (Myra, sorry you were bored, dear heart). I didn't edit this at all (not even my usual half-assed attempts), so I apologize profusely for all typos and weird missing words.

The chapter title is taken from Rosi Galan's "Hazy", which is my next I WANT as a duet for Puckleberry. The song is so mellow and dreamy and lovely.

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 38 – "What if I Went and Lost Myself? Would You Know Where to Fly To Me?"_

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There are 12,421 songs in the world that were written in honor of friendship in the last 200 years. Although that is technically only 1% of all the songs written in the last 200 years, it is still an impressive number. Fun fact, friendship was beaten out by Love at 96%, and Sex in the Club and Gangster activities at 2%. The remaining 1% of the songs are about patriotism, Mary Poppins and whipping hair back and forth._

_Back to the matter at hand, you don't have 12,421 songs written about one single subject unless that matter is of great importance. _

_Friendship is a tricky and tenuous situation though. It can snap with the slightest grim weight put upon it. It can twist and turn ugly with the simplest of words. It can fade in moments of slight neglect. But if properly cared for, and properly cherished, it will survive anything and be one of the most cherished of possessions in your entire lifetime. And any subsequent lifetimes after that._

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* * *

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"I KNEW IT!"

"You said that already," Kurt muttered to Sue in annoyance and clear boredom. She was trailing all the Gleeks with the rest of the adults while Puck carried Rachel back to their room, as she was still very unconscious. "You said it five or six times since we told you what we know."

"Look Porcelain, just because you all got your big boy britches on and did a little rescue mission, does not mean that you can speak with blatant disrespect to me," Sue insisted harshly. "Especially when all I've ever done is speak in complete and almost _prophetic_ truths. I always knew that Schuester was evil and needed to be taken down. The fact that he is a psychopathic misanthrope that can never die does not in fact surprise me. One need to only take a glimpse of that hornet-rat's nest of a hairdo to understand that satanic powers are at work there. Did I just say hornet-rat? Yes, well yes I did, because his hair is so particularly atrocious that the meanest of insects and the most squalid of rodents had to mate in an unholy alliance in order to create something so disgusting as that bastard immortal's wiry strands of pure EVIL!"

"uhmmm…" Finn furrowed his brow. He looked to Mercedes and whispered, "Is she for real about that whole hornet-rat thing? That's creepy."

"Shut it Paul Bunyan," Sue snarled. "Paul Dumb-yan."

Puck placed Rachel gently in their bed and managed to tear his eyes off her unconscious form briefly as he stared at the other members of his team. Blaine and Kurt immediately busied themselves in trying to make Rachel more comfortable. Mike was hugging Tina tightly as she stared at Rachel in a state of shock. Artie's eyes were closed as he tried to focus intently on receiving any vision, anything that could help even the slightest bit. Brittany was still intently writing on her hand with her finger, working with what little information they currently had. Santana was openly rolling her eyes as Sue yelled herself into a shade of red. And Mercedes and Finn were staring at Sue in second hand embarrassment.

He looked back at Rachel and saw how pale her face was. And how tiny she looked in the giant bed. He knew that she had been seriously going on all cylinders for their rescue mission. But apparently she had found more cylinders and burnt through those too. And here Sue was, barking at them like a self-important dictator.

"SHUT UP!" Puck suddenly roared, a little surprised at his own outburst. He recovered from his shock quickly and realized that everyone had backed away from him a step or two as suddenly his hands and forearms were ignited in flame. He pointed at Sue angrily and said, "I don't give a flying fuck what you're spouting, Coach. We saved your god damned ass tonight, and you know who did most of the work? This girl right here."

He looked down at Rachel and felt the fire burning more, deeper, hotter, more violently. "She's constantly trying to make sure all of us are okay. She thinks about all of you more than you'll know. And she was so worried about making sure we got you back, Coach, and here you are ranting about shit-ass Schuester. We get it, you knew he was evil. Now what in the fucking hell are we going to do about it?"

"Well obviously I'm not going to rant anymore," Sue said stiffly, although with a measure of respect. "I'm very fair skinned and don't really want to get sunburnt from the mini-nova you're creating over there. Simmer down, Puckerman."

"Simmer down?" Puck shook his head bitterly. "Here's how its going to go down. Adults and community people?"

"Present," Jesse mumbled as he stared at Puck's flaming skin in fascination.

"Go to your little offices, your little magic bookshelves, your connections to the community, whatever, and you get every single scrap of information you can get your hands on about the Immortal and you report back to Brittany and Artie in the mess hall in half an hour," Puck ordered harshly.

All of the adults, plus Matt and Jesse walked out of the room with a purpose. Sue may have strolled a little too slowly, but it was progress that she wasn't opening her gigantically offense trap. Puck was going to take whatever he could at that point.

He looked to Brittany, Artie and Santana and his harshness slowly ebbed out of his voice as he continued, "You guys go and research it the fuck up. Everything you can get about _anything_ that might help. We'll have a group meeting with everyone tomorrow morning at 8 am sharp."

"I'm going to be so good at research," Brittany said confidently, turning Artie's chair around as she took one handle and Santana took another as they wheeled out, ready to prepare.

"NO sexing each other up!" Puck called after them. "There's no time for multiple orgasms, Satan-a!"

"Psssh, there's always time for orgasms," Santana joked back. She gave him the middle finger as they rushed off and her voice faded as she continued to yell down the hall, "I'm fucking human, asshole! I care about my Sparkplug and Q and Sammy just as much as you do! Fucking bendejo…"

"What do you want us to do?" Finn asked, forcing as much niceness as he could into his words. He didn't want to upset his friend, and he knew Puck was still a little sore that he and Mercedes didn't want to climb aboard the Schue is evil train.

"I think you and Mercedes should go back up to the entrance and reinforce our security. Set up visions a plenty for anyone who might have followed the transport," Puck nodded. He looked to Mercedes questioningly and said, "Can you make it specific so that Sam can find his way back?"

"Don't worry matchstick, I got this," Mercedes nodded as she grabbed Finn's hand and headed out the door.

Kurt drew a sigh of relief as Puck's flames finally extinguished as he was left in the room with Mike, Tina, Blaine and himself. He looked at Puck and actually ventured putting a comforting hand on the inferno's shoulder sympathetically.

"I like it better when Rachel takes charge," Puck admitted quietly. "She makes it look easy."

"That's because it is easy for her and her little miss bossy pants," Tina smiled. "I never realized how much I really, really loved those bossy pants."

"Yeah, we all do," Kurt sighed. "Who knew that when she wasn't bossing us around about choreography and sharp notes that we would love it?"

"So…What do you want us to do, Puck?" Mike wondered. "I mean, what can we do?"

"Okay, I'm gonna need either Tina or Kurt to knock me out," Puck said shortly. He shrugged between Mike and Blaine and said, "No offense, but I'll probably try to retaliate against you boys."

"I can't hit people, violence breeds bacteria in my pores," Kurt held up his hands. "And I don't believe for a second that you wouldn't give me a wedgie or a noogie when you woke up."

"I gotta get to Rachel and help her," Puck explained. "She's freaking out right now, I know it. And she's got no energy. So…Tina, you're going to have to put me out again. Just like the first time. And then you guys hang tight in this room with us and just…I don't know…"

"Be your awesome battery packs?" Blaine offered. "Or feel you up while you're napping?"

"I'm still gonna hit you when I wake up," Puck smirked.

"All right, let's do this, kungfu fighting time!" Mike actually managed a humorous smirk, pushing Tina towards Puck.

"You're not allowed to be mad if I hit you!" Tina ordered.

"Hey crazy karate panda! I asked for it this time, just try to avoid the fa-"

Tina pulled her fist back very quickly and swung with all the strength in her body. Her arching fist his temple mid-rant and the effect was instantaneous. Mike began bowing down to his girl as Puck landed haphazardly on top of the bed. Kurt carefully placed Puck's arms so that they were around her shoulderes. He furrowed his brow as Blaine rearranged the unconscious Puck's arms again, letting the mohawked matchstick's hands cupping Rachel's derriere.

"I like it better that way," Blaine nodded in appreciation.

"Surprisingly, I do too," Tina nodded. "Okay…we're their battery pack. Can we nap too?"

Blaine shrugged before wondering, "Should we all cuddle on the bed with them?"

"You're kind of slutty," Mike accused. He looked to a mortified Kurt and reiterated, "Kurt, dude, your boytoy is a Puck-esque manwhore."

"I hate everyone," Kurt muttered bitterly.

"Aww honey, hate is bad for your pores too," Blaine smiled winningly at the blushing boy.

* * *

"SAM! SAM! LISTEN TO ME! JUST COME BACK, I NEED YOU BACK HERE AND THEN WE CAN FIGURE IT OUT TOGETHER."

Silence. Nothing. It was almost like Schuester's creepy mind, where Sam's happy, jovial, friendly and ridiculously upstanding thoughts and emotions had used to lie in her own brain was now an empty space, just like Schuesters.

Rachel felt the loss keenly. It was as if her mind were a musical. Sam's leaving and subsequent blocking her out was akin to a vitally important supporting actor just dropping out of the production with no replacement or understudy. Lines were left unsaid, dances were left unfinished, harmonies were incomplete.

She realized then that she needed all of them. It made sense now that she should die if one of her teammates died. She was having trouble functioning with just Sam shutting her out. She knew that her mind wouldn't survive losing one of her friends. Which was why it was so vitally important to force her way back into his brain and bring him back.

"Please Sam!" Rachel pleaded. "I understand why you're so upset, and you know that its so important for me to have you and Quinn back. You're my _friends_, remember?"

"Sparky?"

Rachel burst into tears and rushed into Puck's arms as he materialized into their special plane of existence. She felt her energy renew slightly and her desperation calm as he held her, stroking his left hand through her hair as he held her tightly with his other arm to his body.

"Baby, you scared me," Puck whispered.

"I'm sorry, Noah. Sam shut me out," Rachel sniffled. "And it was like someone just plucked one of my strings. I couldn't find the energy to stay awake. It felt just awful…like before, when you were shot."

They stayed quiet in their tight embrace for one of those blissfully long, timeless moments that had become one of the trademarks of this space they shared. Rachel finally pulled back and looked at him curiously, "How did you get here?"

"I let Tina knock me out again," Puck shrugged. He kissed her lips briefly, then let a playful kiss land on her nose, "I couldn't let you do this alone. By the way…how are you doing this if he blocked out?"

"It's a lot of screaming and hoping he decides to listen at the right time," Rachel admitted sadly.

"Then scream away, Sparky, I'm here for you."

* * *

Sam flew through the incredibly frigid air over Ohio, zipping through the skies with ever increasing speed. He passed a plane at one point, leaving it behind in his imaginary dust. He had no idea what he was looking for. He had no idea how he would spot a car with Quinn and that bastard from such a height. He also knew that his extremities were about to fall off due to extreme frostbite.

He wound up above the Lima Police Department and slowly descended upon the roof. He watched quietly as he saw the chaos play out down below. The rescue mission had abruptly ended not one hour ago, and the two block radius surrounding the police station was coated in official government cars, fire trucks, ambulances and squad cars from surrounding townships. People were shouting at each other and completely oblivious to the returned super powered teenager watching from above.

He watched and felt his heart go up in his throat as a coroner wheeled out a black bag that was presumably full of one Emma Pillsbury-Howell. He cringed as he saw a man who he recognized as Mr. Dentist Howell break down as someone obviously broke the news to him.

He didn't want to be Mr. Dentist Howell. He didn't want to have Schuester hurt Quinn. He didn't want to mourn Quinn.

_Sam PLEASE_.

Rachel snuck back into his brain and he felt his pulse skip as he realized that mourning Quinn meant mourning Rachel too. The combined potential loss was too much.

He took off like a rocket, far too fast for the people below to even see him as he flew fast through the night. It took less than a minute to arrive back. He zipped past a speechless Mercedes and Finn, who had been shocked out of a cozy embrace by his appearance.

He flew all the way to Rachel and Puck's door, opening it and feeling tears slide out of his eyes at the sight in front of him.

Rachel, Puck, Blaine, Kurt, Mike and Tina were a mess of tangled limbs. Puck's hands were still inappropriately placed on Rachel's derriere. He walked to the bed and threw himself down, reaching out and gripping Rachel's hand, feeling a little better when her mouth curved upwards into a small smile.

"I'm sorry," Sam whispered, before feeling his energy drain too quickly and succumbing to the sleep that had overtaken all of the other teenagers. Rachel was obviously charging her batteries and using her friends shamelessly. He didn't mind though. "Come up with a way to get her back, Rach. I know you can."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Hopefully the weather is bad enough in my area tomorrow so that I can stay home and play on tumblr and write fanfiction all day. I think I feel a fever coming on (yeah right, I never call off, damn you responsibility!)

I hope you enjoyed this, and thanks as always for your awesomeness. Look tomorrow for-

Chapter 39 - "Berry-licious Definition: Make that Schue Go Crazy"

... ...BWAHAHAHAHAH!


	39. Chapter 39

Hello awesome people! How you doin'?

So, here we go. The chapter title is OF course, taken from Fergie's "Fergie-licious". I say we start a campaign that RMurph let's a totally kickass take charge maneater Rachel Berry sing this. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 39 – "Berry-licious Defintion: Make That Schue Go Crazy"_

_

* * *

If there were a handbook out there in the vastness of the world that told men how to deal with women, there would be peace in the world. There would be no war, famine, hurt feelings, missed birthdays, toilet seats left up, and the list could go on and on. Even as we gracefully enter the 21__st__ Century, we are faced with the fact that men control a lot of the decisions in the world. _

_However a woman is the driving force behind most men's decisions. If the driver is unhappy, it is only logical to conclude that the person being driven is unhappy. _

_It is very rare, and obviously takes hundreds of years for a man to be guided, (i.e., trained) in the proper fashion. But when the tedious work is complete, the benefits are exceedingly amazing._

* * *

"Sparky? I love you," Puck whispered into her ear as he felt that familiar tugging on his insides that meant they were going to have to wake up soon.

"That's a really lovely thing to hear," Rachel admitted softly. He poked at her midsection before she relented and smiled at him, "I love you too."

"Good," Puck said confidently. He pulled her into a tight hug and asked, "Are you ready to go and kick Schue's ass?"

"Almost," Rachel nodded. She bit her lip and said, "You're going to hear something today…that you don't want to hear."

"That sounds suckish," Puck wrinkled his nose in disappointment.

"I need you to promise me something first," Rachel whispered. She held up her right pinky and demanded, "Pinky swear."

"I'm not pinky swearing anything, I have a fully functioning penis, Sparky!" Puck reminded her.

"Please?" she pouted, almost playfully as she looked at him through lowered lashes.

He rolled his eyes and gripped her pinky with his, squeezing while she said, "You can't flip out. I need you calm. If you're not calm. **I **am not calm. Promise?"

"Anything you want," Puck promised.

"A girl could get used to hearing that."

* * *

"Mercedes?" Finn whispered as they cuddled together in a small room that closely resembled a toll booth just off the side of the entrance to their underground compound.

"Umhmm?" Mercedes sleepily wondered.

"I feel sort of bad about the whole Schue is evil thing," Finn admitted. "It's really hard for me to think of him that way."

"Me too," Mercedes nodded. "But we have to accept it."

"It's gonna be hard," Finn said softly. He bent his body and wound his arms around her midsection, his head predictably laying against what Mercedes was beginning to suspect was one of his favorite things ever, her chest. "I kind of thought that Mr. Schue was sort of like…that guy in my life that I could model my life after."

"Well don't do that," Mercedes actually managed to laugh. "He waited almost 400 years to get a shot with a girl he has no chance in hell of snagging because she belongs to Puck…and now he screwed up by going after the wrong girl. Not the best role model, after all."

"Nope," Finn acknowledged.

"I think you were going about it all the wrong way. Why do you need some older guy tell you how you should be and who you should be?" Mercedes wondered thoughtfully. "You're a good guy, Finn. On your own. You've got a really wonderful heart. You should follow it instead of looking to other people to tell you where to go."

Finn grinned up at her, his head lifting until his lips touched hers in a gentle caress. He pulled back and goofily. "I'm working on it."

"OH GROSS!"

The two sprang apart and looked up in flustered shock at Matt Rutherford. His face was clearly disgusted as he looked between Finn and Mercedes.

"Seriously, Cedes? FINN HUDSON?" Matt demanded. "That's just ten different kinds of wrong, girl."

Mercedes could only look at him incredulously as the words Matt Rutherford had just spoken to her were more than she had heard from him throughout a whole year of being in Glee together.

"Dude, that's not nice!" Finn frowned at his former teammate.

"If you had to go for a white boy, you couldn't have picked like…anyone else?" Matt smirked at a seriously ruffled Mercedes. He continued smirking at her and said, "Come to think of it, despite everyone's little incestuous set up over here, you aren't required to date another power."

"Uhm. No. What?" Mercedes gave him a seriously disturbed look.

"DUDE, back off!" Finn grumbled, his hand going to Matt's shoulder. "I like Mercedes and she likes me, so just…back off, or I'm going to throw you through the wall."

"Ease up, Finncredible Hulk!" Matt laughed. "Okay, okay, you passed. I just wanted to see what you would do. I give my permission as the only other black guy you know, to date this awesome girl."

Finn thought about what he was saying before a slow grin broke out on his face. "Thanks dude! That's really nice of you."

"Oh my God…I assume we should go downstairs for the 8 am meeting?" Mercedes rolled her eyes before quickly leaving the room she and Finn had spent the night in, letting the idiot boys be _more idiotic_ all by themselves.

* * *

"Five bucks says we find Artie with his hair mussed and his bowtie sloppily done."

Puck nodded at Rachel's thought as they stood outside of the mess hall with Blaine, Kurt, Tina and Mike. Once Rachel had woken up, the rest of the crew found that their need for sleep was done as well. They had high-tailed it to the mess hall, eager to see what the super fun-time trio of Artie, Santana and Brittany had come up with.

Puck looked around at the other people and said, "Any other takers?"

"Ten bucks their mid-hump," Tina rolled her eyes.

"I'll give someone ten bucks if you can make that not happen," Kurt said dryly.

"I say both Artie and Santana are groping Brittany. Artie over the clothes, Santana under the skirt," Blaine nodded confidently. "I have a sixth sense when it comes to people sexing other people up."

Puck nodded, knowing all too well what his gay twin was talking about. But he also knew Santana. Bitch was greedy, just like him.

"Twenty on Santana laying down on the table with Jesse St. Douchebag's hand up her skirt…Brittany on top of her and Artie on her other side, feeling up the sweater puppies," Puck said confidently. He opened the doors quickly and clapped his hands together as the quartet that he had predicted, in _exactly_ the poses he had predicted jumped apart. "PAY UP MAH BITCHES!"

"Noah, language!" Rachel scolded as she watched with interest as the guilty parties straightened out. Brittany and Jesse eased Artie back into his chair while Santana walked towards the new arrivals with a satisfied smirk. She wrapped her arms around Rachel tightly, one of her hands flirting dangerously with Rachel's bottom, making the poor girl squeak out. "SANTANA! You are insatiable."

"Also a whore!" Blaine gave her a huge thumbs up and grin of approval.

"Yeah, sure," Santana shrugged before kissing Rachel's cheek sloppily. "I'm glad you didn't stay asleep for three days this time, Sparkplug."

"It smells funny in here," Finn announced as he, Mercedes and Matt arrived to the party. He forgot about the funny smell when he saw the table at the far side of the room was set up with breakfast foods. "Bacon…awesome, I'm starving."

Rachel waited until everyone had sustenance, in Finn's case, a tray full of bacon that Puck was slowly pilfering from without Finn's knowledge. She watched as Sam strolled through the doors and waved at the group.

"Sorry…about my outburst and leaving," he apologized earnestly.

"It was hot," Santana offered helpfully.

"He really should have had a cape," Blaine nodded.

"I hope that we're all ready to sort a few things out…" Rachel smiled at them all.

"The community has like, nothing about Mr. Schuester," Artie sighed heavily. "We didn't wind up researching, because there was nothing really to research."

"Not so fast, Wheels," Sue Sylvester announced as she walked through the door and thrust a book in Brittany's eager hands. She surveyed the room carefully before stating solemnly, "The immortal cut ties with the community ten years after the first eclipse. Not long after that, the Mind passed, followed quickly by the Fire…not before the Fire cut a path of destruction through a good portion of Massachusetts and a forgettable area of Canada."

"Did Schue…did he," Puck looked to Rachel questioningly, wondering if this was what she had warned him about before they woke up.

Rachel shook her head and smiled sadly at Mercedes before ushering the girl to stand by Artie and Blaine. She focused and with no warning whatsoever, the entire population of the mess hall was standing on familiar ground to the Gleek's. The adults, Jesse and Matt were wide-eyed in astonishment.

"Time travel illusions," Brittany waved their astonishment away. "Try to keep up, I'm not a walking tour guide, guys."

It was the same wooded pathway where they had witnessed the original Fire and Mind connect. But this time, the Mind was walking happily, clinging to the hands of two small children under the age of five. When Will Schuester walked in front of her, blocking their path.

"Where's the sound?" Finn wondered. "Are my ears popped? Am I deaf?"

Rachel sighed, hoping to have avoided giving the harsh words that the immortal would be spouting, now being played by Mr. Schuester himself and thankfully not Jesse. Jesse seemed relieved too, as his perfectly symmetrical face was spared from any random punching.

"How are you, Pastor?" the mind wondered cautiously, looking at Schuester with no small amount of apprehension.

"Can't you just delve into the inner recesses of my mind and come up with an answer, darling girl?" Schue bitterly spat out.

"You've been drinking," the mind whispered.

Schue looked at the two brats that the mind was hauling through the wooded path with no small amount of hatred before letting his gaze drift slowly back up to her beautiful face.

"Please let's not be unpleasant," the mind insisted strongly. "I'm-there's another child on the way, and I'd rather not get into-"

"Again?" Schue harshly demanded, causing the two little ones to jump in fright. "Now you' and your moronic husband are just flaunting…"

"I'm not!" the mind vehemently denied. "Please…just, go home, sleep, find some kind of rest. We'll see you this evening with everyone else."

She made an effort to walk around him, releasing her children's hands so they would rush ahead of the man they very clearly disliked. Schue latched onto the mind's arm and yanked her back to face him, before pulling her to him and forcing a kiss upon her lips. She squirmed and did her best to push him off when finally something just snapped.

The Gleek's knew. The mind had taken control and forced Schue to stop what he was doing.

Puck breathed a sigh of relief as the original mind forced Schue to step away from her as she looked at him with seething anger written all over her pretty face.

It was difficult to see what happened next, so Rachel allowed Schue's thoughts to be heard.

_You can't control me anymore…_

And the Earth shook as Schue shut out the mind, walking away casually as the poor girl fell to her knees at the sudden lacking empty spot in her brain that had once contained the first immortal.

Rachel cut the scene short and looked to her teammates, leaving her gaze lay on Puck last, hoping he could keep his jealous fit together like he had promised her.

"We're taking this jerk down," Puck said gruffly, his voice harsh and raspy as he desperately tried to calm himself. He looked around the room and saw that Brittany was already scribbling things on a white board that they must have wheeled in before they ran out of things to research. He watched as she scribbled things down in large, loopy lettering, with hearts for the tops of i's and smiley faces for O's.

**Things to do to Take Squickface Schuester down and rescue Quinnie**

**1. Puck must sex Rachel up. For reals. Sorry San. Puck has to do it first.**

**2. Upgrade Stubbs**

**3. Confuse Schuester loads**

**4. Kick Schuester in the boy parts**

"That's not fair! I dispute number one!" Santana whined.

"The book totally says that the mind's powers grew once she did it with the fire," Brittany said calmly. She smiled hugely at Puck and said, "Your crotch has magical powers, apparently."

"I have noticed that Rachel's gotten a little boost since they started fooling around," Blaine nodded in comprehension. He smirked at Puck and shrugged, "Good job, magic crotch."

"Brittany, PLEASE, erase that," Rachel whispered as her cheeks flushed. "Noah and I will handle our business in private, we don't need a bullet point for…"

"But it's a to do list, Sparky!" Puck insisted. "You can't just erase number one, you have to go through and check them off one by one."

"Stop trying to appeal to my organizational side, Noah Puckerman!" Rachel stomped her foot as she crossed her arms in front of herself. She was getting prepared for a full on diva tantrum, and ironically both Santana and Puck wet their lips in a heightened state of anticipation simultaneously. She thrust a finger in the air, very close to Puck's nose when suddenly, she jolted as if suddenly touched with a live wire and shook her head.

She reached for Mercedes' hand again and gripped it tightly as she spoke.

"Quinn…don't open your eyes. Lay still and pretend that you're still sleeping," Rachel ordered quickly.

"Rachel?" Quinn's whisper echoed through the room as Mercedes projected a dark image in front of the group, much like what Coach Bieste and Mr. Hummel's view point had been when they were trying to figure out where the adults were being held. "I'm scared…Mr. Schue and Miss Pillsbury…"

"Quinn, I know you're scared, but please you have to listen to everything that I tell you right now," Rachel insisted strongly. "Mr. Schuester is the immortal. He thinks that you are the Mind. Now if you feign unconsciousness until we can get to you everything will work out. Okay?"

"Okay…I trust you. Is Sam there?"

"Oh God, Quinn," Sam breathed. "I'm here."

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you, too," he said loudly and clearly.

"Quinn, Mr. Schuester is going to think that you're prodding into his mind," Rachel relayed. "Keep your eyes closed and let him think that you're unconscious. Do nothing."

"I'll do my best," Quinn promised.

Rachel concentrated harder than she had in a long time. Kurt rose from his seat without being told to do so and put a hand on Rachel's shoulder. He concentrated very specifically, hoping to use Rachel as a connection to Quinn, and thereby a connection to any and all electronic devices where ever Schue and Quinn had wound up. Computers...GPS units...video cameras, anything to get a lock on their location. And then he felt it in his bones.

_Schue had a cell phone_.

"Brittany..." Kurt whispered. She was at his side in an instant and he muttered a long strand of digits, which she instantly memorized by writing in her palm. She went back to the white board and began working out the numbers he had given her, pinpointing the exact location like she was a human phone tap.

Rachel focused on working at Schuester. She forced her way in any way she could. She was used to getting blocked out by her Glee club director. In the past it had been him brushing her off when she would demand solos or give _excellent_ critiques to his direction style. It was different now, but her earlier practice of the past two years came in handy. She knew that one thing was true when it came to Will Schuester.

Eventually, he always slipped up just a tiny fraction.

She pushed and pushed and pushed until finally, Quinn's thoughts were broadcast to the room through her connection with Mercedes and Rachel.

"He's getting upset. He's...he's in pain, Rachel."

Rachel nodded, and Puck watched her carefully as a satisfied smile spread across her face at the thought of getting to Schue. He gripped her free hand and squeezed, giving whatever silent encouragement he could.

"If you guys had done it, Rach would be more powerful," Brittany looked back at them. She shrugged before going back to her numbers and muttering, "Just saying. My theory would have helped."

"**STOP THIS!**"

Schuester's booming voice echoed throughout their mess hall. Everyone jumped but Puck and Rachel, who took Schue's irritation as more fuel to add to the fire. Rachel kept pushing, her power tickling the edge of Schuester's mind, invading what he had kept shut down since that day he had encountered her past self in the wooded path.

"You haven't earned the right back into my mind," Schuester angrily admitted. "You have to earn it."

Rachel panicked at his tone, recognizing his attention. The vision that Mercedes was projecting blinked and she knew Quinn had opened her eyes as Schuester was now approaching her angrily.

"Quinn, bubble!" Rachel ordered as Schue reached out to grab the otherwise defenseless Quinn.

"I have it!" Brittany called out. She pointed to a crudely drawn map and directed Blaine's attention to it.

"Link hands!" Puck ordered gruffly.

Rachel nodded, keeping the connection open between her and Quinn as the group assembled. She took a deep breath and promised, "We're on our way, Quinn."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I was writing this chapter for a super long time today. I crammed a lot in there, I think. I hope you liked it.

Tomorrow, around this time you'll get Chapter 40. 40! "We've Only Got 4 Minutes to Save the Girl"


	40. Chapter 40

Good evening lovelies!

Don't ask me what happened when I sat down to type the intro here. It's just rambling, really. But a good metaphor I feel. Happy Chapter 40! TEN MORE CHAPTERS TO GLEE'S RETURN! That's a much better way of thinking about it then the actual time it takes, yes? Thanks as always to you amazing people who read this story. You're really the absolute best.

The chapter lyric is taken from Madonna and JT, "4 Minutes".

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 40 – "We've Only Got Four Minutes to Save the Girl"_

_

* * *

Those who have performed in a musical comedy that contains a particularly hilarious chase scene do not have to read the following explanations. Some of the musicals that apply are "A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum", "7 Brides for 7 Brothers" or "Funny Face". _

_They are excused from this mini-lecture and are allowed to skip to the continuing story of our young heroes because they have the knowledge that you poor souls who have not been in a musical chase scene are sadly lacking. We will take the next few minutes in bringing you up to speed before you can continue on with the story._

_Congratulations! You've been cast in your local community theatre's production of XXXXXX. You are to be rewarded for your bravery in auditioning and your patience in waiting for the cast list to be distributed. Enjoy the first read-through, where you will form tentative bonds with your male co-star who you will be stage kissing for the next three months. You will also fall for his lines about wondering about his sexuality and possible make out with him after a late night, after rehearsal trip to the diner, but that's a story for another time. Putting your all into the read through, you finally come upon the chase scene and you are scared out of your mind. There are only a lot of one-liners and about five pages of action directions. Stage left. Stage right. Jump into the audience. Good luck there._

_You spend the majority of the three months focusing on songs, memorizing lines and choreography. The director assures everyone that eventually they will get to the hilarious chase scene. One week before the curtain rises, you realize that you have not in fact done anything about it. It is haphazardly thrown together, you are confused, struggling to breath as you run around back stage, crashing into people in order to get to your next entrance point. _

_And here's the thing. It works. The audience howls with laughter. You look like you're genuinely being chased and terrified. Every joke lands perfectly and the director will pat himself on the back for a job well done. If you're Rachel Berry or someone similar to Rachel Berry, you may wind up punching said director in the face. But in the end, it works. Every time._

_Pity the poor fool who has cultured this ability to adapt so perfectly into his potential enemies._

* * *

"Back off, Mr. Schuester," Quinn whispered, that feathery soft voice dangerous and low as she glared at the grown man in front of her stalking towards the bed she had been placed. He didn't heed her advice and advanced nonetheless, his face angrier than she had ever seen it.

He gazed at her incredulously as his brain felt as if it were being wounded and squeezed and prodded all at the same time as the invasion he had managed to stave off all of those years ago exploded. All the old hurt, the rejection, the pain he had felt for the last 300 years seemed to magnify in intensity until he felt as if he could crumple on the spot. If destiny had cheated him out of gaining the love he had so desperately wanted so long ago, it would not cheat him out of curing him of this horrible impervious longevity.

"You're going to help me whether you like it or not!" Schue spat out angrily, reaching up his hand in order to deliver another desperate blow to render her unconscious again.

Several things happened all at once.

One, Quinn exuded a violent blue sphere of protection that seemed to act as a giant cannonball to Schue's gut, throwing him physically across the room. Time slowed as Schue tried to process what was happening. The Mind from his generation did not have these powers. He had been so sure. He had felt such a kinship to Quinn since the moment he had realized that Puck had gotten her pregnant. If she wasn't the mind…

The second thing that caught his attention was the faucet behind him suddenly exploding as a giant thudding sound shook the small cabin he had retreated to with Quinn in tow. It was as if a compact car had just landed on the roof. He turned and glared at the water before sneering back at Quinn, who was encased in her protective shield.

"You're so screwed," Quinn arched a delicate brow.

The ceiling above them crashed in, thanks to Finn's incredibly strong hands punching through. A beam landed on Will's head, knocking him to the ground as the rest of the debris from the collapsed roof bounced harmlessly off of Quinn's protective bubble. Will Schuester's Glee club descended quickly in a colorful variety of methods.

Finn and Puck simply jumped down the short distance, landing squarely on their feet. Mike stretched Tina and Rachel down the distance, while Blaine lazily zipped himself, Kurt, Artie and Brittany down. Sam flew in through the monstrous hole in the ceiling with Mercedes. His mouth broke out into a wide grin as Quinn waved looking unharmed and mostly happy from the confines of her bubble.

Last to descend was Santana, and she didn't disappoint as she pulled the water from the faucet she had busted open, she froze it into a sturdy pole of ice and slid down it with grace rather than sex appeal. She bounced on the tips of her toes and arched an eyebrow Schue's way before slowly moving the cold water to him, intent on freezing him from head to toe.

"The Ocean," Schue muttered as he struggled to right himself into at least a sitting position. "I see that stupidity and foolishness doesn't skip a couple dozen generations."

"Bitch please!" Santana scoffed. She hit him with a blast of water at his feet, freezing him to his spot the minute he had managed to right himself finally.

"Thank God you're not the one," Schue laughed as he grimaced with pain as his body healed from the damage the roof beam had done. "I would have lost my chances years ago."

"I'm pretty sure that's an insult to my awesome sexual openness, and just for that I'm gonna freeze your balls off," Santana blithely announced.

Schue shivered as he surveyed the kids that had won him Sectionals not so long ago. The boys had pretty much displayed their powers on the way into the cabin except for Kurt and Artie, who were glaring openly back at him. Schue moved on, his eyes lingered on Puck and he wondered aloud, "So you're the Fire."

"Yeah, I'd be setting you on fire too, but San's so keen on freezing your cajones, off," Puck mumbled with a shrug, forcing himself to keep calm for Rachel's sake. He managed to get one crack in though, "You really are slow on the uptake sometimes, Schue."

"It's hard to figure out who the mind is, since you're kind of a whore," Schue spat out as he flexed his legs, breaking the ice that Santana had been building. He was fairly certain the shards of the ice he stepped out of were slicing his skin, but it was no matter. He had dealt with centuries of dealing with the pain of healing, the slight grimace on his face was the only indication that he was dealing with it.

"Oh bueno, Senor Schue, I was hoping you'd make this difficult," Puck grinned crazily, feeling something stirring in his gut as he watched the man's face in front of him. Familiarity from hundreds of years ago flittered within Puck's eyes. Old hatred suddenly burned anew.

"Which one of you is it? Who is in control here?" Schue demanded, looking around at his Glee club curiously. "Brittany?"

"Ew…" Brittany wrinkled her nose. "You're so gross, right now, Mr. Schue. Are you going to rap? Because usually your grossness is followed by rapping."

"Word," Artie agreed.

"Tina?" Mr. Schue looked to the girl next, ignoring Puck's flaming fists which were about five feet away from smashing his head in. He had no fear of what the fire could do to him. It would be nothing that he hadn't already healed from.

"I can't believe I'm related to him," Tina whispered to Mike. "Please don't ever let me get so creepy evil."

A sparkle of hurt went through Schue's eyes momentarily and he almost looked human as he whispered, "I'm sorry."

"Mr. Schuester, I think it's really telling just how deep your devotion was to the original Mind, when you can't even tell which one of our girls contains her powers now," Kurt muttered dryly, his face that impassive shell that had previously been his mask when it came time to torturing the lady in questioning. "I mean, she's the reincarnated soul of the person you claim to love."

Schue's eyes darted to Mercedes and she held up her hands, shaking her head with an incredulous look, "Keep it over there wonderbread."

Rachel narrowed her eyes as realization set in on Schue's face. Her ego would have been wounded if it weren't for the twelve people in the room beaming nothing but love right back at her. She could feel it filling her up. Their appreciation, their gratitude, their friendship, the fact that they were willing to risk physical harm in order to protect her. It also didn't hurt that Puck's hand was gripped in hers, rolling small circles into her palm with his thumb.

"No," Schue managed to whisper as his eyes finally settled on her. He looked horrified, dismayed, shocked to his very core.

"Mr. Schuester, I hope that this makes you rethink your course of action over 300 years ago," Rachel said primly. "You thought you loved me then, but in reality, you loved nothing. You destroyed lives due to your misguided feelings. I hope you've learnt from this."

Schue dropped to his knees, devastated to his core, his face the picture of disbelief. His thoughts drifted to a little over one year ago, when Rachel had been in the throes of a school girl crush. It would have been easy then. Everything would have been easier had he not been so fundamentally repulsed by Rachel's type-A personality. How could the woman he had idolized for hundreds of years have been reincarnated as Rachel Berry?

"I'm not going to take your reaction to me being what you perceived as your soul mate to heart. As I have my own soul mate, who I daresay thinks I'm quite pretty and loves me very much," Rachel stated evenly.

"So hot, Sparkplug!" Santana put in helpfully.

"Mr. Schuester, you should come back with us to the compound. As our prisoner of course," Rachel insisted. "We still consider you an enemy, but who is to say that we can't still help you someday."

"You'll all be dead in a matter of minutes," Schue answered quietly. He reached into his pocket briefly, pulling out a small remote control and pressing one button. "Well, except for me and Tina. I'm pretty sure even Quinn will be blown away."

"What in the hell are you talking about crazy-cakes?" Blaine demanded. He received no answer from the clearly unhinged teacher so Blaine turned to Kurt and wondered, "You got anything in here?"

Kurt concentrated and felt Blaine squeezing his hand when his mind zeroed in on what Schuester was alluding to, he could see it plain as day. He turned to Mercedes and said, "Bomb. Find it."

"I _knew_ there was a reason Sylvester put us through bomb training," Finn nodded with a goofy smirk. He looked over at Mr. Schuester and furrowed his brow as the much, much older man righted himself. He stalked over to his former mentor and gripped his shoulder with a fraction of his strength. "I don't think you wanna move, Mr. Schuester. Tina said something about busting balls earlier."

"Yeah, and I don't care if you're my great great grandwhatever," Tina sneered as the rest of the team went into action.

Mercedes looked around the small cabin critically before walking slowly towards the back room. Kurt followed as he concentrated telling her, "Hurry, Mercedes, I'm trying to slow down the clock, but it's not the easiest thing to ask for."

"In there," Mercedes pointed, her vision clear as she focused her mind to see the only object she needed to. She could see past the wooden walls and sure enough a crudely designed bomb lay on the small cot within the room. She looked back to Schuester with a look of disappointment, "Really, Mr. Schue? Coach Sylvester makes way better bombs."

Quinn was off the bed in a flash and she rushed into the room and put a bubble around the pack of explosives set up with a timer. A timer which read one minute exactly as Kurt strained to keep it there. Sam was at her side and made to walk in but Rachel held onto his shoulder firmly as she explained, "You can't fly fast enough, it'll explode before you can get away."

Blaine walked casually past both Quinn and Sam and put his hands around the bubble cautiously. He looked at Sam and said, "Start flying straight up. Try to catch me, cause I really don't feel like getting flattened."

Sam did as he was told, zooming straight out of the hole that was in the roof. Brittany stopped writing on her palm and called out helpfully, "Go about 40 stories straight up."

Blaine blipped out and Brittany pouted, "I was going to explain why, but he left too quick. That's sort of hurtful."

"Britt-britt, you can explain later. He was just in a hurry," Artie promised her.

Rachel closed her eyes and felt her energy ebb slightly, but Puck was right there, giving her whatever he could at that point. She concentrated as she guided Blaine high up into the sky, and the moment he re-appeared in the air he threw Quinn's sphere covered bomb as hard as he could straight up. And the he started falling. Very very fast. He'd always wanted to go sky diving, but he had imagined it would have felt much different with a safe and heavy parachute on his back. He felt his limbs flailing and started to panic.

_It'll be okay...Sam's almost there_.

An explosion from above drowned out Rachel's voice as Blaine plummeted still. He closed his eyes and trusted in the fact that Sam's stalwart and true character wouldn't let him get squished. He saw a glimpse of gold that glinted off of those too perfect highlights in the distance and he couldn't help but think critically that Sam really _should_ have a cape. One second later and Sam had him, and they gently floated back down to Earth at a slower and much more comfortable speed.

"Thank fuck," Blaine breathed. They hit solid ground in the cabin and Blaine glared at Schue in annoyance, "You're an asshole. And also, Coach Sylvester is _totally_ right about your stupid hair.

Schue actually laughed, despite the fact that Finn seemed to be dislocating his shoulder. He nodded towards Blaine and said, "Thanks for the flare."

"Seriously, just one kick in the balls. It's all I'm asking for," Tina rolled her eyes.

"Tell us what you know," Rachel ordered. REALLY ordered. Schue had no recourse but to comply.

He looked up at the gaping hole in the ceiling and said, "The government is on its way. I won't have to look at you much longer."

"That's just not very nice," Rachel mumbled, suddenly incredibly angry. She had tried to be kind and turned a blind eye to the ridiculously rude rejection Mr. Schue had essentially dished out to her twice in her life. She was even willing to forgive the bomb that would have snuffed out their lives moments ago. But selling them out to the government? Insinuating that looking at her was difficult?

_Baby, you're adorable. Fuck that noise_.

She smiled up at Puck gratefully before her mouth set into a grim and hard line. She heard the sound of heavy artillery making its way to the cabin they had all taken refuge in and felt her blood boiling that the man was willing to sell them out or have their lives snuffed out so easily. She would deny it to her dying day, but she felt murderously violent.

She placed Puck's hand on her shoulder and raised both palms, earning an incredulous look from Schue, wondering what on Earth she was doing.

He was answered when the water Santana had been using leapt up under her control, and a line of fire, much like a blow torch exuded from her right hand. The water was boiling in an instant and it approached Mr. Schuester menacingly. Quinn did the rest, throwing a bubble Shuester's way, trapping the nearly boiling hot water inside with their former Glee Club director as it scaled his skin and splashed around him.

"That's for punching me, asshole!" Quinn sneered.

"We're out people," Puck ordered, happy that everyone already knew that meant to link up. Blaine had them out of there as the first set of explosions started falling against the cabin, a boiling and bubbled up first immortal in tow.

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I think we're in store for a little visit from the exposition fairy tomorrow. I love me some brilliant Brittany.

Chapter 41 - "This Is the Story of Schue, Who Cried a River and Drowned the Whole World"


	41. Chapter 41

Happy Friday to one and all!

Chapter title lyrics are taken from Nine Days "Absolutely (Story of a Girl)", it's this awesome 90's pop rock song that I bet everyone would recognize if they heard it. Someone asked me how I came up with the chapter titles (which are still one of my favorite parts of writing this story) and the simple answer is, I listen to a ton of music. Like all day long it's non-stop music, like it's oxygen and I'm breathing it in. So a song will pop up and I'll think...yup, change a word there, and that's Chapter XX's title.

I hope you enjoy this. You get a little more backstory here, but by no means is Schue redeemed by it. That'll take some time, but always remember that I love these characters, and the only true evil I see in this story is the big bad government baddies. Have a happy weekend! I don't know when I'll be posting this weekend, but never fear, I'm so close to the Superbowl so you'll be getting a chapter a day!

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 41 – "This is the Story of a Schue, Who Cried a River and Drowned the Whole World"_

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_

_A person gathers a lot of interesting stories in one lifetime. Even a person who thinks that their life is complete boredom and solitude. Every person is a pebble that is thrown in the vast pond of the universe and creates ripples. Each ripple is a story. Some are mundane, to be sure. Some are cinematically beautiful. Some are large and violent and disturbing. _

_But every person has at least one amazing ripple in their lifetime._

_And if you've lived 389 years, you may have gathered quite a few._

* * *

"How are your shackles, Aquanet?"

Schue rolled his eyes as Sue continued to tighten the restraints that were keeping him tied down to the bed. Upon entering the compound, Sue had cackled evilly as she set off her confetti cannons that she had somehow gotten into the underground facility in the twelve hours since she was rescued from the Lima police station. When Coach Bieste had asked her if it was necessary, she had simply stated that _it was for the kids_. And truth be told, Brittany had been so excited by the clouds of confetti that she had commandeered the canons and taken them to the garage for an upgrade.

"So you trained the kids in bomb management?" Schue said, his tone almost conversational.

"You never can tell what kind of psychopath is out there and what they're capable of, can you Schuester?" Sue sneered down at him. Her face was pinched as she looked at him, as if she was smelling the foulest stench on the face of the world. "Sleep tight, Shirley Temple."

Schue stared up at the ceiling after Sue turned out the lights and locked him in. A million thoughts racing through his head. His head that hours ago had been closed up tight, safe and secure. Rachel had broken every wall and barrier down though in her typically driven fashion. His thoughts meandered to the original Mind, the one he had come to set his hopes and dreams of freedom on all those years ago, when it was too late for her to help him and too early for the next Mind to even dream about.

And yet he still had dreamed of her. Dreamed of a lovely smile, a soothing voice, a calming presence that would simply know how much he needed her, had loved her and would cure that horrible disease of his. That was why when he realized that his Glee kids had inherited their powers, he had settled on Quinn. All the pre-requisites had been in place. She had been with Puck. She had brought the Fire's child into the world. And yet, he knew she had never given her heart to him. It would have been his chance. She had been everything that he had hoped for the next Mind.

And yet...Rachel Berry. Loud. Opinionated. Selfish. Conceited to the point of hilarity. She had sent a defenseless girl into a crackhouse earlier in the year. She had ruined the life of a teacher in order to make her own small dreams come true. Every day since he had taken over the Glee club had seemed like she was presenting an incredibly annoying test to him, where he would fail if he broke down and screamed his head off at her and told her how very grating he thought she was.

And yet, she was the glue. She was the glue that held that club together. She pushed everyone to be their very best. She challenged them into being better performers. And now here she was, filling the role the original Mind had held in her own unique way, and if the way those kids had handled the dangerous situations he had thrown them into earlier that night were any indication, she was exceeding the original's work.

The last twirling thoughts in his head before he finally let sleep overtake him centered around Rachel. And the realization crept into his mind that perhaps part of his disappointment in learning she was the Mind was the very true fact that school girl crushes aside, she would never care for him the way in which he had so desperately wanted the original to.

* * *

"Hi."

Puck looked up to the door of the bathroom from his reclined and comfy spot on the bed. He was up in a heartbeat though when he saw the look on Rachel's face. He gave no warning as his hands gripped her waist very suddenly and he crushed his mouth against hers. Rachel didn't even realize what was happening but very suddenly she was off of her feet and her back was against the wall as he avidly and hungrily kissed her lips.

"Mmf," she squeaked between the nibbles of his teeth against her lips and tongue. "What-ohhh."

"You looked sad, and I hate that," Puck grumbled throatily, letting her gasp for breath before diving in once more. He grinned into her mouth when she wrapped her legs against his hips and clung to his shoulders as he devoured her pouty lips like a champ. He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, their noses smushing just so as he whispered, "I know how that asshole reacted made you kind of sad."

"A little," Rachel nodded in spite of herself. "The fact that he found me so offputting…"

"Baby who cares what that asshole thinks. I think you're fucking incredible," Puck murmured sweetly. His hips twitched ever so slightly and she gasped, incredibly fascinated in how his words could be so tender and yet still remind her what a very sexual being he actually was. "Feel that?"

"Noah," she whispered, her cheeks flushing desperately as she inadvertently squeezed her thighs against him definitely feeling the concrete evidence that he found her arousing against her body.

He groaned in response and his hips snapped against her again, eliciting an appreciative gasp from her. "You should always know that I want you," Puck assured her. "Always."

"I know," Rachel managed to breathe before he attacked her mouth again, each kiss seemed more heated as they grinded their fully clothed bodies against one another. Rachel couldn't even fathom how amazing it would be when they were truly ready to do these sorts of things completely naked. She couldn't comprehend how it could get better or more arousing than it already was, but then again, Noah always surprised her.

She pulled away reluctantly and pouted, "We have to cool down."

"Baby, if you haven't noticed, I'm kind of a raging inferno," Puck smirked at her.

"Santana is outside the door with Blaine," Rachel sighed. "So unless you're willing to give your mind twins a show…"

"PLEASE?" Santana called out from the other side of the door.

"This isn't over," Puck grumbled, leaning in for repeated and lazy pecks against her lips.

"Not by a long shot," Rachel grinned as he placed her down on the ground. She went to the front door as he flopped face first onto their bed.

"I tried to make her stop," Blaine quickly insisted as he and Santana practically fell into the room.

"You told me your sexy spidey sense was tingling!" Santana scoffed. "You led me here like the Boy Who Lived to Smell Sex!"

"And you were the one that was like, _oh gawd we need to stay and listen, Berry moaning makes me nuts in the pants_," Blaine mocked back. He furrowed his brow and asked, "Was that another wizard reference? Brittany said something about the Boy Who Lived to Kick Ass. Was that really in a children's book?"

"Are we having a sleepover?" Brittany wondered as she wandered into the room right between a bickering Blaine and Santana. "We haven't had one in a while…I miss cuddling with everyone."

"C'mere Sparky," Puck turned on his side and made grabby motions with his hand to Rachel, who eagerly combined. He pressed her to his body and whispered, "I can't have anyone else cuddling with me right now. They'll see what you do to me."

"Ohhh, sleepover?" Kurt breezed into the room. He called out over his shoulder. "It's all clear, guys, they're fully clothed and it doesn't quite reek of sex!"

The Gleeks piled into the room eagerly, and even Puck couldn't stay mad at them, because it was clear that for the first time ever, they seemed to be working to prop up Rachel's ego after the asshole first immortal did his best to tear her down. In fact a small pushing match had broken out between Santana, Brittany and Quinn.

"Back off Barbie! Go cuddle with Ken!" Santana hissed.

"Shouldn't you have a foursome to attend right about now?" Quinn arched an eyebrow back at Santana.

"Seriously, stop the violence," Brittany whispered. "It's my turn for cuddles."

"ASIAN SNEAK ATTACK!" Tina whooped, jumping past the bickering girls and bouncing on the bed until she was next to Rachel. She plopped down and wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders, followed quickly by Mike, who joined in on the love. Tina grinned goofily, "Whaddup, sexy bitch?"

Brittany pouted and contented herself with sitting on Artie's lap as Quinn retreated to Sam, who had brought a sleeping bag and pillows. They were settled in comfortably within a matter of moments and Brittany spoke first.

"Who wants a bedtime story, because I have like. Three thousand six hundred and thirty two really interesting ones."

Artie smirked and handed her the book that Sue had given her that morning that she had stashed underneath his legs after speed reading through it a few times in the matter of minutes.

"Is that what the community had on Schue?" Finn wondered.

"What they know, which is like only .0000001 percent of what I know," Brittany shrugged.

"Go for it, baby," Santana urged as she flopped down on the bed so that her body sprawled across Puck, Rachel, Mike and Tina's legs.

"Okay…so once upon a time…"

"Woah," Finn muttered, looking around curiously as the walls seemed to melt away and the bedroom seemed to be smack dab in the middle of a planetarium where images began to flicker.

"That's so awesome," Brittany marveled and grinned at Rachel, who shrugged as she and Mercedes projected images of the story that was flickering through Brittany's brain. Brittany clapped her hands together a few times before she continued, "Once upon a time, a little boy named the Immortal Skankbox Schuester was born on a ship heading to the Pilgrimland, New America."

The images flickered in front of the Gleek's eyes. What they could imagine was the Mayflower sailed over rough waters and the new settlers seemed dirty, miserable and sick as dogs.

"It's kind of like a miracle that he survived. What's that called, Rae?"

"Ironic, Brittany."

"Right, ironic. Because people died super easy back then. But Mr. Schue was born and lived and grew up in Pilgrim America and he became a priest."

"Pastor," Quinn corrected.

"Whatever. And then he got married. Which I didn't think priests could do," Brittany furrowed her brow. "He had two kids before he was sixteen. And he might have had a kid with a Native American Indian lady but he never admitted it. That's probably where Tina descended from."

"My dad's totally white, Britt," Tina helpfully put in.

"And then his wife died, which made him sad. But since it was Pilgrim America, they had to get over it really fast, and he needed someone to raise his kids so they wouldn't die too, because apparently he didn't know how to feed or clothe them. He should have given his white kids to the Native American Indian lady."

The original mind appeared on the screen and Brittany was brought back to task. "This is where past-Rachel comes in. See, her parents were trying to set them up in a marriage deal. But before they could like, exchange cows or whatever, past Rachel told vintage Puck that she would marry him."

"So you did steal her!" Kurt cooed. "Sooooo romantic."

"Okay, so after the eclipse, past-Rachel had a baby. And then she had a baby again a year after that, because Puck couldn't stop wanting to do her, which is just like today but with better clothes and a mohawk," Brittany continued and they were assaulted with the adorable images of the fire and the mind's adorable children. "But the problem was they were the only one's having babies out of the powers. And the immortal skank was trying to make things difficult for them and be mean and turn the other powers against them."

"Our kids are totally adorable, Sparky," Puck whispered.

"Shhh," Rachel scolded gently.

"And then the immortal left and the mind was weakened because she wasn't used to having one less person, it was almost as if the immortal had died…you know, if that were possible. So they were figuring out how to keep her strong and that's when they realized they could share powers with her. And when she had the third baby, she was really hurt…and all they needed was the immortal to help her heal."

The somber scene appeared before their eyes of a burial and Brittany pouted as she whispered, "But he didn't help and the Mind died and the fire went all crazy and burnt up a lot of forests and then died too. So the rest of the powers left made the community to protect the fire and the mind's kids and they never saw the immortal again."

"So he let her die and then became obsessed with her?" Mercedes grumbled. "That's whack."

"The whackiest," Mike nodded in agreement.

"I think he spent the rest of his life regretting it…a really long life," Quinn said softly. "He romanticized the idea of her and the hope that she could eventually help him when she returned."

"There was more…only the immortal whore can tell us the details," Brittany revealed. "But the community tried to find him over and over again. There were stories of soldiers in the American Tea Revolution and the not Civilized war and the Alimony."

"The Alamo?" Artie offered helpfully.

"What's Italian lunch meat have to do with this?" Brittany furrowed her brow. She shook it off and continued, "There were reports of an unkillable soldier who would help the government and like…saved people a lot. If all the stories are real, then Mr. Schue fake died like, hundreds of times in wars."

"So he's in bed with the government?" Tina questioned. "That can't be good."

"He's not in bed with anyone," Blaine shook his head. "He's all rogue and distrusting of everything. I'm pretty sure he's just trying to use everyone and everything in order to find a way out."

"I want to help him," Rachel suddenly revealed. She looked at Puck apologetically before saying, "If we can help him…then we can help Tina eventually too. I can't imagine how sad it must be."

"Neither can I," Tina admitted. "And I've been thinking about it non-stop since we figured out that I can't really die."

"Okay, I agree," Puck shrugged. "But in return…he has to start helping us. And I'm not talking choreographing a number or helping out with harmonies. I'm saying government shit. He gets them off our back, starting tomorrow."

Artie leaned forward and started shaking, and the illusion that Rachel and Mercedes had created shattered, bringing the real room back into focus.

"He better help," Brittany said softly as she quickly translated Artie's predictions. "Because the government is going to try to invade us tomorrow."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Look for another one tomorrow!

Chapter 42 - "I'm Gonna Spread the News, That if it Feels this Good Being Healed, You're Going to Keep on Healing Me, Till I've Used You Up"


	42. Chapter 42

Happy Saturday awesome readers!

Chapter title lyric is taken from the awesome Bill Wither's "Use Me" (it's on my Puck wish list. I mean damn). Hey. Guess what's eight days away? You don't know? You should know. I'm so excited I could squee.

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 42 - "I'm Gonna Spread the News, That if it Feels this Good Being Healed, You're Going to Keep on Healing Me, Till I've Used You Up"_

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Imagine if you will, that it's Black Friday Eve. The world's new hottest toy is a Furby/Pokemon/TickleMeElmo/Lalaloopsy Doll/Zhu Zhu Pet/Tamagatchi hybrid. It's adorable and not at all creepy. And you or someone you love HAS. TO. HAVE. IT._

_You will wake up at quarter after midnight, or perhaps not sleep at all. You will camp out in front of the store, freezing cold, in the pouring rain for hours until the store opens. You will push and run and claw your way to this magical toy. If that doesn't work, you will spend too much money and too many hours attempting to acquire this mythical object on any number of internet websites._

_Now imagine if instead of you, you are the government of one of the world's superpowers. Instead of Black Friday Eve, it is just an ordinary day in one of the most dangerous and hostile environments eras of time that this world has ever seen. And instead of a toy being your object of desire, it is a ragtag group of thirteen young people who have already decimated a highly trained unit of your innumerable forces._

_Suffice it to say, there will probably be more explosions than pushing and shoving._

_

* * *

_

The sleepover had dissolved as soon as Artie's prediction was made. Adrenaline ran high instantly and everyone partnered up and began rushing around the compound, making plans and preparing traps. Brittany was in her element, giving short and fast orders and pouting when nearly every Gleek became confused by the requests she was making. Except for Rachel who seemed to understand intrinsically what Brittany needed done.

"That's why I love you," Brittany grinned at her. "You always understand."

"I think it's really just some of your vast intelligence lending itself to me," Rachel smiled back. She wiped her hands clean on one of the cloths that Brittany had laying about her garage/workshop. She saw Puck smirking at her by the door where he had been relegated to after he had over melted a piece of metal Brittany had deemed superduper important. She had replaced the human blow torch with a real blow torch. "Now, if you're satisfied with my work, I'm going to check in on everyone else."

"Kisses!" Brittany reached out for Rachel and kissed her on the lips, her attempts severely hindered as she was wearing a welder's mask that covered her whole face.

Rachel pressed her lips against the glass anyway, leaving a lipstick mark there much to Brittany's delight. The blonde's eyes crossed as she gazed at the mark and she giggled before going back to work straightaway at building her latest contraption.

Puck gripped Rachel's hand as they walked down the hallway. His stride was slow and lazy, while hers was more like steadfast marching, but since her legs were about a foot shorter than his, they somehow synched up in speed. They were stopped halfway to their destination by Matt Rutherford who waggled his eyebrows at Rachel before teasing,

"I'm telling Uncle Leroy. You got a boooooyfriend."

"Matthew, I enjoyed our shared familial relations more when you didn't talk to me," Rachel reminded him blithely.

"Ouch," Puck chuckled.

"I know you're only kidding," Matt shrugged. "And if you're not, I got topless pictures of you from when you were seven at the Berry Family Reunion."

"MATTHEW!" Rachel hissed angrily. "Aunt Jana told me that you still wet the bed at the tender age of eleven!"

"DUDE!" Matt squeaked. He held up his hands and shook his head, "Can we go back to when being sort of related to each other was a secret?"

"Agreed," Rachel nodded curtly. "Did you have a report on how things were going outside setting up Brittany's defense mechanisms?"

"We're good. Kurt's got a way with telling stuff where to go, all the machines are in place and he bailed saying something about costume fittings," Matt nodded. "But we could use some extra muscle. If you find Finn, can you send him outside?"

"Certainly. Thank you Matthew," Rachel nodded politely before turning away.

"Dude…you don't have topless photos when she was older do you?" Puck questioned quietly.

"NOAH!" Rachel yelled, causing him to laugh and follow her quickly down the hall.

They arrived at the dressing room and stopped dead in their tracks at the sight in front of them. Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but Puck clamped a hand over her mouth delicately and brainwaved her instantly.

_Let it be, Sparky…this is actually kind of awesome_.

Rachel rolled her eyes as they openly eavesdropped on a very private moment between Kurt and Blaine. Kurt was sitting at one of the lighted vanities, a Kevlar shirt in hand, but the needle and special thread that Jesse had provided were forgotten and dropped to the floor as Blaine boxed Kurt in between his arms as he had both hands placed on the vanity on either side of Kurt. Blaine's head was bent as Kurt's was tilted upwards and from what Rachel and Puck could see in their blatant eavesdropping, both boys' lips were quite busy.

Blaine's mouth slanted over Kurt's just so and Kurt had no choice but to part his lips to allow him better access. He dropped his completely forgotten sewing project all together and his hands gripped Blaine's shirt, bunching the fabric together in his fists as Blaine aggressively kissed him. The silence in the room was broken as Kurt emitted one small, deliciously perfect moan that rumbled in his throat.

"OH HELLS YEAH! GET IT GAY PUCK! GET _AT _IT!"

Puck dropped his hand from Rachel's mouth and they both stared to their right, where Santana had magically appeared and was now pumping her fist in the air even as Kurt reluctantly pushed Blaine away, although it was clear that Blaine wasn't quite ready to be finished with his prior task just yet.

"How's it feel to be cockblocked, Boy-warts?" Puck chuckled. "Not so fun when other people are barging in on happy fun time."

"Ehh, I didn't mind," Blaine shrugged indifferently.

Kurt rolled his eyes and said, "Can I help anyone? Do something for one of you who barged in here uninvited? You know, so that I can possibly get you to disappear from whence you came?"

"My dads don't kiss like that," Rachel whispered, her eyes slightly glazed over as she stared between a smirking Blaine and a furiously blushing Kurt. "Do it again, I wanna see more."

"Okay, I'm gonna go hose you down, Sparkplug," Santana giggled, gripping Rachel's hand and pulling her from the doorway.

Puck stood awkwardly for a moment and shrugged at Blaine before throwing him the devil horns with his fingers and saying, "Carry on, bro. Carry on."

He caught up to Santana and Rachel in time to hear Satan-a's closing arguments.

"So, if you think BOYS kissing like that is hot, let me tell you, nothing will be the same for you ever again if you let me defile that fucking perfect mouth of yours."

"But I like Noah's kissing," Rachel rolled her eyes. "I really don't think that yours could be better."

"Well how the fuck do you know that if you've never let me kiss you full on?" Santana demanded with a pout. "That's totally not fair. I demand equal opportunity kissing. Is this because I was mean to you for like, eleven years? Because, GOD, Sparkplug, just let it go already."

"Stop perving out," Puck muttered, wrapping his arm around Rachel's shoulders possessively. They continued to walk down the hall, with Rachel now inadvertently dragging a pouting Santana along. "What did you want anyway, Satan-a?"

"Oh, give Finn something else to do. He's messing with my game plan," Santana remembered.

They arrived at the mess hall, where Artie, Finn and Mercedes were mixing various liquids into large stainless steel bowls. Santana skipped towards Artie and held her hand above the bowl, pleased when the concoction did her bidding, rising up out of the bowl like a snake out of a basket. She grinned and nodded her approval before bending over and placing a quick and sloppy kiss on the corner of Artie's mouth impulsively.

"That's why you're the only one allowed at special fun time," Santana grinned at him.

She moved down the line and when Mercedes' work passed the test, she held her hands up in front of her mouth and said, "Uh uh, sexually ambiguous cheerleader. Your lips have just been…too many places."

"I can respect that, Wheezy," Santana nodded. She took a measured breath before finally stopping in front of Finn and the tenseness that took over her body was certainly noticeable. "Moron? Where is my goop?"

"Uhm," Finn shrugged. His voice was a mumble and sounded more like a question than a statement, "I ate it?"

"FUCKING MORON ASSHOLE LICKER!" Santana growled.

"Finn! Matthew needs your help upstairs immediately!" Rachel ordered, happy to see that her ex-boyfriend jumped up immediately and rushed out of the room.

Santana immediately calmed at Finn's disappearance and she looked back to Rachel with a grateful smirk, "Thanks, seriously…who would eat this stuff? It's honey and Tabasco sauce and pickle juice. I'm going for stuff that'll slow the fuckers down and sting their eyes. Also, it's _supposed_ to taste bad. Fucking giant moron baby."

"Carry on, Satan-a!" Puck waved her off as he and Rachel continued to make their rounds. They wound up in front of the multipurpose room where they heard Sue barking orders as she put Mike, Tina, Quinn and Sam through their paces, giving them helpful hints on evasive defensive maneuvers. By throwing knives at them.

"SLOPPY! Imagine if someone was throwing something dangerous at you otherAsian!" Sue bellowed. "You'd be dead yesterday!"

Mike ignored the insults and focused on evading the tiny blades of potential pain and death that Sue was forcefully chucking their way. Quinn had it the easiest as she simply bubbled up and napped. Sam was next, in that he could easily and speedily fly out of danger's way. His poor Tina did her best, but simply had to heal (and swear a lot) when one of the blades would nick her every once in a while. He was bending and stretching and moving the best he could.

He had one moment to think that it would have probably been a better idea to keep Sue Sylvester locked up with the Government. Rescuing her had been the dumbest decision any of them had made. They went to her earlier with the news that the Government was going to invade their new home in less than twenty-four hours and she had responded in kind with _throwing knives at them_. They seriously needed new adult mentors. Sue tried to blow them up. Schue tried to blow them up. And now, Sue was actively trying to aim sharp objects at their major arteries. He hoped this wasn't some kind of pissing contest between Coach Sylvester and Mr. Schue, because what could be worse than throwing knives?

That was the last thought he had before one of those knives whizzed by his neck, and then he pretty much felt nothing but a sudden weakness as he collapsed. The knife had nicked at one of those important arteries in just the right angle and blood was pouring from his neck at an incredibly fast rate.

"Jesus Christ, other Asian, you're supposed to dodge!" Sue shouted. She turned and yelled, "MEDIC!"

"You crazy fucking bitch, where were you aiming?" Tina demanded as she rushed to Mike's side.

Rachel felt her legs give out and Puck gripped her upright suddenly. He looked over at his buddy and shook his head. It had been a tiny cut. It couldn't have been that bad. But Rachel's energy was suddenly draining and Tina was instantly sobbing violently as she tried to apply pressure to the wound.

"Sweetie?" Tina asked desperately as Mike turned paler still, the blood pouring past Tina's fingers at that point.

At that point, it got very difficult for Tina to remember what she did next. On her own, with no assistance from Rachel who was fading just as quickly as Mike was, the pink light that she usually registered with her own body healing, starting glowing from her fingertips which she had been using to apply pressure to Mike's wound. She felt a warmth in the pit of her stomach as her fingers tingled against her boyfriend's skin.

Mike gasped in pain as an intense, burning, sharp pain originated from the damaged vein as it mended. He let out a harsh, uncharacteristic yell as the pain only intensified as the broken skin fused back together. He gasped for air as Tina threw herself on him, weeping into his chest. She had healed _him_. It was mind-boggling to say the least. And here she thought her only skills to contribute to the team was taking a couple of bullets.

"You're okay," she whispered. "You're okay…"

Mike nodded and managed to squeak out, "Jesus Fucking Christ, that mother fucking _hurt_."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I love Saturdays because I can post whenever the heck I want. Stupid work firewalls. Stupid _work_. Okay, see you tomorrow as the gleek's gear up for an ultimate showdown.

Chapter 43 – "I Can Burn You Baby, Till It's a Cryin'"


	43. Chapter 43

Hello to all you amazing readers! I hope everyone had a lovely, restful and entertaining weekend.

This Chapter lyric is taken from Violent Femmes "Gone Daddy Gone" (Gnarls Barkley also covered this quite well).

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 43 – "I Can Burn You Baby, Till It's a Cryin'"_

_

* * *

True love…real love always requires sacrifice. _

_Your mother really loved you and she sacrificed her body and stretch-mark free existence to prove it. Watch Titanic or just skip to the end and you'll see Leo make a huge sacrifice in the name of love. Even Harry Potter was willing to die for all the people he loved. _

_This is wonderful in theory, but how do you go about being noble and sacrificing something of yours when the person you love would rather die than let you sacrifice anything?  
_

_

* * *

_

"SUE! I told you to wait for the nerf balls!" Burt screamed at the Cheerios Head Coach, who was doing her best to look completely uninterested. "We talked about you putting the kids lives in danger."

"Otherasian is _fine_!" Sue obnoxiously pointed out. "And I'll have you know, had it not been for my brilliant training session, original recipe Asian wouldn't have figured out her fun and totally useful skills as a nurse."

"**Coach Sylvester!**"

The large room went still and completely silent as Rachel's authoritative shout reverberated off the walls. All eyes went to her and even Sue had the decency to let one sliver of apprehension shudder through her body. Rachel pointed one finger at Sue and said in a low, deadly forceful whisper.

"You nearly killed one of my friends."

"I think that's a gross overstatement."

"SHUT YOUR INCREDIBLY OFFENSIVE MOUTH," Rachel hissed. "You are going to be punished. You will not complain about said punishment. You will not say one word. Is that understood?"

Sue shrugged, Rachel's suggestions taking a very literal hold over her as she could not force one word from her mouth.

"The most effective punishment I can think of, Coach Sylvester, is that you spend the evening in Mr. Schuester's room," Rachel said calmly.

Sue opened her mouth to complain, and her eyes conveyed fury and disgust as no sound would come out. Rachel smiled slightly and nodded.

"Instead of putting us all in harm's way, you will spend your evening either coercing or torturing Mr. Schuester into telling you _everything_ he knows about the government," Rachel explained. She nodded and shooed Sue away with a flick of her wrist, "I expect a full report in the mess hall at eight-thirty AM. GO."

They all watched in amazement as Sue turned and began to stiffly walk against her own will towards the destination which Rachel had provided. Burt grinned at Rachel and shook his head with pride.

"That's the most amazing thing I've seen in my life, Rachel," he admitted.

"Thank you Mr. Hummel," Rachel grinned. "If you and Coach Bieste would be so kind as to do me a favor and insist that the rest of the team is in their own rooms in the next hour or so. Our preparations to the facility are important of course, but I believe a good few hours of rest is also essential in our inevitable victory tomorrow."

"Sure, Rachel. We'll take care of it," Burt smiled. He watched as Rachel checked on the well being of her friends before bidding them goodnight and then _dragging_ a still shell shocked and admiring Puck out of the room. As their guardian he couldn't help but pray that they knew there were condoms in the medic ward.

* * *

"I'm going to go shower, Sparky. Feel free to come ogle my hot body through the glass?" Puck offered with a lecherous grin.

"You'd love that, wouldn't you?" Rachel giggled.

"Hell yeah, my kick-ass take charge woman coming and getting all turned on while I suds up my dirty, dirty body?" Puck questioned. "Sign me up, baby."

"Go take a shower, fool. We need to get in a good night's rest and relaxation," Rachel pushed him towards the bathroom.

She turned a bounced onto the bed before turning towards the door where she knew Santana or one of the others would try to wander through in the next five to ten minutes. She hated doing it, but it was absolutely necessary, so she concentrated and made sure that the other Gleeks had no choice but to leave her and Puck's room off limits until dawn.

Content with her preparations, she found herself curling into a tiny ball on top of the bedspread and soon a tenuous and surprisingly contented sleep overtook her. Her breathing evened out, and a small, tiny snore could even be heard as she drifted further into blissful deep sleep.

Puck re-entered the room and knelt in front of her, simply watching her sleep caused a ridiculous warmth to spread throughout his stomach, moving upwards for once instead of downwards. His hand reached out and smoothed her heavy, dark brown locks back lovingly. He lost count of the precious moments in which he watched her and he seriously thought that they had slipped back into coma-land, but eventually Rachel blinked her eyes open, falling into his loving gaze immediately.

"Hello," she said softly.

"Hey," he answered back.

His eyes roamed her face avidly, drinking her in. They had been placed in progressively more dangerous situations in the past few days, and every single time that he felt he could lose her, or have her feel the slightest bit of pain had him reeling until all he felt like doing was smothering her behind a protective blanket so that she could remain safe and wholly his.

Rachel blushed as his eyes devoured every inch of her face and she saw that he finally settled his gaze on her lips. She shifted on the bed slightly, and wet her lips before asking, "Are you going to kiss me now?"

"I've been thinking about it, you know, just for the last couple of centuries," Puck admitted before leaning in and capturing her lips with his. At first it was a simple and sweet caress, gentle and innocent, but the tide turned very quickly where the two of them were concerned. In moments, the current of emotion changed and their mouths mutually parted, deepening the kiss into a heightened level of sensuality that both were entirely accustomed to at that point.

Rachel leaned against Puck's body heavily, letting his arms wrap protectively around her. Their tongues danced with one anothers, working each other into a fluttering frenzy, the rhythm of their hearts intensifying as the passion and wanting that they thought had reached fever pitch only managed to grow.

Puck let out a groan as Rachel finally withdrew from his lips. He smiled at her and said, "Okay. That's enough…you're killing me, Sparky."

"I don't want to stop right now," Rachel shook her head, maneuvering on the bed so that she was lying back against the pillows, looking down at him as he knelt at the side of the bed with a stunned expression on his face.

"What do you want to do?" Puck wondered, immediately realizing just how soft and gentle his words had sounded. Gay Puck and Satan-a would have never let him live it down. Well, Blaine might have been fine with it. Santana would have recorded it for posterity and submitted it to Funny or Die.

"I want to do everything," Rachel whispered. "Tonight."

"Tonight?" Puck repeated.

"I want you tonight, Noah," Rachel nodded a soft smile turning her lips into an upward curve. "I want you for all the rest of my nights."

His breath was literally taken away at her true confession. He felt that warmth that had been climbing through his body bloom on his cheeks and he couldn't fucking believe that this amazing girl _was making him blush_. He tried to regain some swagger and arched a confident eyebrow before promising, "I'm pretty sure that can be arranged."

"I'm happy to have won you over," Rachel grinned.

"The others?" Puck gestured his head to the doorway where more often than not, one of their friends was either outside listening or barging right in uninvited.

"They will probably not feel the need to interrupt, thanks to a few well-placed mental suggestions," Rachel relayed. Her giggle returned when he pounced on the bed and by extension, her body, pushing her against the mattress as his mouth found hers once more. "Besides, we should really go all the way if Artie's prophetic visions are to become a reality. I'll need the extra power."

"Sparky, you can't just use me like a sugar-free Red Bull, besides, if I have anything to say about it, you're getting nowhere near the danger zone," Puck scolded sarcastically. He stared at her avidly as his throat suddenly became tight and just a hint of nervousness flickered through his mind. "If you're really not ready, we don't have to do the _everything_. We can just do the stuff we've covered already. We can do whatever you want."

"I want you. Always," Rachel said with direct bluntness. Her hand settled on his chest for a moment, amazed at the amazing warmth she felt as her hand made a trail downwards until it rested on the waistband of the sweatpants he had thrown on after his shower. She managed another quick, crazy grin before shrugging and admitting, "So I guess that's what we'll be doing tonight."

"Sparky, I absolutely love it when you're hot for my bod..." Puck grinned. He leaned in for another kiss of those tempting, pouty lips. Their mouths lingered on one another until Rachel's hand slipped between past the waistband, going straight for the bulging crotch of Puck's pants. He shivered at her touch and said, "We can stop whenever you want..."

"Will you just shut up and keep kissing me?" Rachel demanded bossily.

Puck grinned and complied right after promising, "No mind-voodoo needed here, bossy-pants. I'll defile you good."

"Say that word again," Rachel breathed.

"_Defile_."

* * *

"Good morning, everyone! Are we all adequately rested and prepared for a bracing day of defending our new home?"

Every person in the room turned their gaze towards a beaming and euphoric Rachel as she and Puck walked through the front door of the mess hall. Blaine actually _sniffed_ the air and Santana's eyes narrowed as she studied Rachel's appearance, her wide grin, her gently flushed cheeks, the absolute and blinding glow of her skn.

"Puck you fucking skank!" Santana muttered angrily.

"Zip it Santana!" Rachel ordered harshly, but her mouth still curved into a slight smirk as Santana pouted and complied. "As I was saying…who is ready to completely blow away our competition?"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So, prior to this chapter, Rachel and Puck had done everything but, pretty much. And now. There's nothing left to do? Sorry for the fade to black. It had to be done, there may be an after dark chapter appearing on my livejournal some time though, as I know that Puckleberries are free base smut like crack whores, (Me too, card carrying smuckleberry).

Tune in tomorrow for Chapter 44 - "You Think You're Fly, but We Levitate"


	44. Chapter 44

Happiest of Mondays to all of you awesome people who take the time to read this. Just so you know, if you're interested in a little something extra before reading this chapter, there is an M-rated addendum up on my livejournal page (go to my profile here and click on the livejournal link). It is not essential to the story, so if M-rated stuff isn't your bag, you don't have to read it.

This chapter lyric today is taken from N.E.R.D's tune "Rockstar" (a go to treadmill song, if you ask me). Thanks as always for being amazing readers and lovely people. Glee is back in LESS THAN A WEEK!

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 44 - "You Think You're Fly, but We Levitate"_

_

* * *

_

_It's always darkest before the dawn. Light breaks were no sun shines. Look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Things can't get any worse. When God closes the door he opens a window. Four score and seven years ago…_

_These are all words and phrases that someone came up with because shit had __**seriously**__ hit the fan. _

_Words give hope when there seems to be no hope to be had._

_

* * *

_

"General Benson?"

Kate Benson looked up from her Blackberry for one second to stare down one of her ridiculous and always too nervous lieutenants. She arched one perfect brow and tilted her head to the side which indicated that she had given the idiot permission to speak. He did so after a few extended moments, his face flushing and a slight sweat breaking out on his forehead.

"We're in place, General Benson," he managed to stammer. "All systems are go."

General Benson nearly snorted at the very idea. She had taken control of this acquisition mission after the debacle at the Lima Police Station. The President of the United States of America had woken her at 1:45 AM. She had answered the phone in half a ring and had left her house fully prepared to take control at 1:49 AM.

Her predecessors had made a horrible mess of things. They had been preparing for the eclipse and the subsequent awakening of the super-powered teenagers for nearly one century. And yet, thirteen _children_ had evaded capture. They had avoided a massacre on both sides. They had completely ruined a plan that had been developed by the government for nearly 100 years. Simply thinking about the wasted hundreds of millions they had invested in the capture and reprogramming of these brats made her want to vomit.

It was her job to make sure that the problem was rectified. You don't invest the capital and time that the US Government had and not walk away with a win. She had never failed in any of her other missions.

She wouldn't fail this time either. She knew from her orders that all but one was expendable at the moment, but come hell or high water, those kids were hers.

* * *

"Someone should say something," Finn mumbled to Mercedes as they all gathered in the barn that served as their entrance into their underground home.

"Say something like what?" Mercedes whispered back.

"Like…something inspiring," Finn shrugged. "Like Braveheart."

"Didn't they all die?" Mike furrowed his brown at his friend. "Nothing braveheart-y, please."

"300?" Finn suggested.

"They all died too. Shame to waste all that sinewy muscle," Kurt replied airily.

"Maybe we should sing an inspirational song?" Tina offered.

"There's a lot of going to war type stuff in Les Mis," Blaine suggested helpfully.

"Oh!" Rachel's eyes lit up at the very thought.

"Boy-warts, SHUT IT," Puck hissed as Rachel beamed extremely adorable geekiness out of her big brown eyes like lasers.

"Do you hear the people sing?" Tina sang softly.

"Singing a song of angry men?" Kurt added.

"It is the music of a people," Blaine sang loudly.

"Who will not be slaves again!" Rachel belted out loudly.

Puck watched as Tina, Kurt, Blaine and Rachel began belting out a song he _definitely_ did not know. He had spent the better part of two weeks listening to Phantom non-stop, so he would be down with singing that shit, but Lay Miz sounded terrible, and the song was seriously boring. However he couldn't stop the pleased grin that spread across his face as Rachel mimed marching with her cohorts in spontaneous musical productions.

"Where's Coach Sylvester?" Quinn asked suddenly, looking around. "I mean we convinced Mr. Hummel and Coach Bieste to stay downstairs, but I thought for sure that…"

"Oh my goodness! She's still locked up with Mr. Schuester!" Rachel stopped mid march, her face full of shock. She turned to face Puck with large and innocent eyes.

"Screw that bitch, she cut my baby," Tina huffed as their impromptu musical number ended abruptly. She ruffled Mike's hair and accepted the kiss he planted on her forehead with an evil smile, "I hope Schue forces her to make out or something."

"That would be so gross and oddly fitting," Sam nodded appreciatively.

"It's too late to go back and let them out now," Rachel agreed.

"Yeah. Especially because Artie just told me that they're going to start soon," Brittany revealed from her place next to the boy who was actively trying to force the visions to come and seemed to be succeeding as he shook and muttered Latin into his girlfriend's ear. "It's people on foot first. No guns."

"Weird," Tina furrowed her brow. "Are they trying to be nice?"

"I can see the tanks from here," Blaine shook his head. "They're definitely not being nice."

"Flyboy?" Santana demanded harshly.

"I'm on it," Sam promised as he dropped a kiss on Quinn's cheek before taking off.

He gathered two large buckets at the barn's entrance and zoomed out with a speed that literally caused the sight of him to blur. His speed seemed to be increasing with time due to practice and something unidentifiable between the thirteen of them that had grown infinitely since that lunar eclipse. It was happening with all of them. Their powers were increasing…diversifying…strengthening. He knew it had something to do with Rachel and the friendships they were increasing, diversifying and strengthening.

"Finncredible Hulk?" Santana turned to him with an arched brow and suspicious pout of her lips.

"I kind of like that nickname," Finn smiled back at her goofily.

Santana rolled her eyes and pointed towards the 10 gallon containers authoritatively. Finn ambled towards them and she ordered harshly, "Don't eat it this time you gross fucker."

Finn rolled his eyes and picked up the seriously heavy containers effortlessly. He lifted it above his head and Mercedes _swore_ she could feel her skin getting heated as she watched him chuck the containers at least a hundred yards into the air. Santana rolled her eyes as Mercedes fanned herself.

"Calm down, Wheezy," Santana laughed before focusing all of her attention on the precious cargo Finn was busy tossing into the air. She found that she didn't even need to raise her hand any longer, she simply needed to squint her eyes in intense concentration. The container Finn had pitched exploded in the air as the liquid inside responded to Santana's orders, landing directly on the heads of the first line of soldiers that were advancing towards them. Sam was next with two more buckets of Santana's special goop at the next line before he darted back to reload.

Between Finn and Sam, at least 100 gallons of the goop coated the soldiers and Santana was having a field day with it to say the least. Countless feet were solidly stuck and being held against the ground, completely immobilizing them. Simultaneously, the more acidic components of the goop were rising up bodies and finding wonderful eyes to sting and welcoming nostrils to float up.

"Kurt?" Brittany questioned. "I took out Stubbs controls because I think you'll control him better."

"That might have been better to tell me prior to the fighting starting, Brittany," Kurt said patiently. He focused nonetheless and soon Brittany's hulking and clunky pet robot walked with large footsteps in the direction of the incapacitated and immobile potential attackers.

The cannon arms raised and Brittany clapped excitedly as she waited for Kurt to go for the big finale. Kurt held a breath and released the contents of Stubbs' cannons into the air his jaw dropping when shimmering pink and silver confetti floated out wildly, promptly coating the already tarred soldiers.

"Isn't it pretty?" Brittany squealed.

"It's gorgeous," Rachel agreed as the mid morning sun glinted off the speckles of confetti in the distance.

"I'm really glad Coach Sylvester is still locked away," Quinn said dryly. "She'd kill us all if she saw what Britt did to her confetti canons."

"Mercedes, with their vision obstructed, wouldn't now be a really good time for you to go all holodeck?" Mike wondered.

"I'm already on it…"

* * *

General Benson watched from her command point as her highly trained forces were effectively neutered by nothing more than a high-school prank. She heard a commotion from behind and turned quickly to see at least one hundred enemy forces appear from behind. She rolled her eyes as her troops scrambled, shooting haphazardly at the sudden threat.

"Did anyone else read the reports?" she demanded angrily. "CEASE FIRE!"

Their attention wavered between her and the sudden enemy attack from behind and she obnoxiously explained, "They are illusions. I understand that the reports had really big words like _evade_ and _tactical errors_ in it, but you think you would have waded through it and picked up on the fact that one of the kids can do illusions. Stop wasting ammo and bring out the tear gas! And for God's sake, avoid any suspicious substance that can potentially blind you."

A few of her men headed carefully to the front line where they launched the canisters of tear gas at the thirteen high school kids who were literally the most important people in America at that moment. Their efforts failed as the canisters were lit on fire mid air, exploding immediately, the gas contents burning into the chilly and frigid air.

"There's our boy," General Benson muttered quietly, taking only one second to be amazed at what she saw. She quickly realized that securing the nation's potential super weapons would be no small task. But then again, she wouldn't be getting medals and accolades if she couldn't get this done. "Do me a favor, start rolling the tanks in and make sure you don't wipe out the kid that can do the fire."

* * *

"They want you," Rachel whispered quietly, furrowing her brow as she felt the overwhelming mindset of the enemy. She looked at Puck and shook her head, "They want _you_, Noah."

"I guess that's kind of flattering?" Puck shrugged.

"Tanks!" Brittany called out helpfully from her place beside Artie.

"Got it," Kurt nodded, keeping part of his focus on Stubbs as the robot randomly shot out buckets of confetti while splitting his concentration towards the mobilizing destructive vehicles intent on rolling in and destroying their home.

"That's really hot," Blaine murmured. "Multi-tasking is hot."

"Tell me about it," Puck waggled an eyebrow at Rachel, who was currently multi-tasking as well as her eyes darted around the perimeter of their hiding place.

Artie began mumbling again and Brittany's brain translated as quickly as possible. Rachel caught her brain wave before the words would come out and she shook her head and yelled, "SAM!"

The explosion from above rocked the entire barn and all the Gleek's were soon sprawling on the ground. Sam touched down on the ground and looked to Quinn, who was struggling to her feet.

"It's like a sniper drone thing," Sam explained. "Super fast and it's dropping stuff on us. I got out of the way just in time, thanks guys. I see another two in the distance."

Quinn nodded and gripped his hand before the blue shimmering light left her skin and placed the entire barn under a protective shield. Another bomb dropped against it and violently exploded, causing the shimmering bubble to shake and splinter. Quinn swayed on her feet as she exerted all the power she could in reinforcing their force field, but another explosion had her dropping to her knees and panting.

"I can't take much more of this," she whispered.

"Let me out," Puck demanded. Rachel shot him an incredulous look and he shook his head at her and insisted, "Just for a second, I'll blow the things out of the sky."

He rushed towards the bubble and Quinn's weakened state offered no resistance as he pushed his way through. He aimed carefully as he saw the next drone flying in and a fireball went through the air, crashing into it before it could drop its cargo.

"NOAH!" Rachel yelled, running towards him as the shots rang out.

But it was too late as one bullet hit him in the thigh and he bent with a growl of pain. Another drone flew in and Kurt did his best as he forced the machine away from its trajectory, but the payload dropped nonetheless, no more than twenty feet from their safe haven, shaking the ground they stood on.

Tina rushed out behind Rachel and placed her hands on Puck's thigh and he bit back a howl of pain as the bullet was forced from his body and the wound healed.

The gunfire continued and Rachel quickly pushed a wall of protection in front of them as they retreated back to the barn. She exchanged looks with all of her teammates quickly as Kurt diverted another attacking plane, the explosion hitting the side of the barn. Santana worked quickly to put the fire out but they were getting to the point where they would have to retreat.

"Blaine…take me over to whoever's in the back…whoever's in charge," Puck demanded.

"Noah, no," Rachel breathed.

"They just want to use me for a little…blow some shit up over seas or something. They're going to keep coming at us until they get what they want," Puck plead his case. He ran a hand over his Mohawk and straightened his posture. "They just want me right now, so let me go and do what they want and then, bam, we're done."

"If they get you, they won't ever give you up," Mercedes disputed.

"And seeing how awesome you are is going to make them want to come back and get more of us," Sam said evenly. "Either we all give up or none of us give up."

"Blaine!" Puck demanded harshly. "Take me over there."

"**NO!**' Rachel yelled, her voice echoing harshly against the battered walls of the barn. She began to breathe a little heavier as she stared out onto the confetti strewn battlefield. Her voice was resolute and her promise was steadfast and sure. "No one is surrendering. No one is going anywhere. We're a team. No one messes with my team. If they want power, _I_ will show them power."

Santana smiled genuinely as Rachel balled her fists at her side. For one moment her conscious nagged at her before it promptly ran away again and she couldn't help but open her mouth.

"Tough ass Rachel is super duper wanky."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So Battle Royale Part II, tomorrow. I introduced an original character here in General Kate Benson. I see her played by someone totally kickass? Mariska Hargitay perhaps? What do you think? You'll see more of her tomorrow in...

Chapter 45 – "Remember One Thing, Berry came, Berry Saw, Berry Conquered"


	45. Chapter 45

Happy new Glee music day!

Oh yes. US Itunes has the superbowl songs on sale! Did you know that Need You Now and Thirller/Heads Will Role have already cracked the Top 50 Itunes chart? Did you know that everyone who has bought Need You Now has cried magically healing tears of joy? You should go buy it too. If you don't, I'm going to start Joss-ing characters willy-nilly. (Just kidding. I couldn't. Maybe). Buy the song! YAY!

The lyrics for this chapter title were taken from Jay Z and Linkin Park's "Encore/Numb". Because when I think of Rachel Berry, I think of badass rappers. Love to all of you fabulous readers! We're almost to Chapter 50! WAHOO!

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 45 – "Remember One Thing, Berry came, Berry Saw, Berry Conquered"_

_

* * *

Mother Nature, Fate, God, and burrito makers around the world share one simple tactic. It is evidenced in caterpillars, stealth hotties, all forms of nuts in shells and burritos, respectively. It's called the HHST, or rather the Ha Ha Suckers Tactic._

_Keeping this theory in mind, you could potentially be a five-foot-nothing show choir nerd whose previous life had consisted of badgering and annoying people into getting what you wanted. Potentially mother nature, fate and God combined could decide that everyone in the world should see what they had planned for you all along. You're still you when you shed that outer shell, but you could also be one of the most lethal and dangerous people on the face of the planet. And all caterpillars get is to turn into butterflies._

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* * *

_

An explosion rocked the underground facility that the non-powered community members had taken refuge in under strict orders from the kids not to move one small inch. Matt Rutherford took two steps forward and Ken Tanaka reluctantly put his hand on the boys shoulder, stopping him in his tracks with a slow shake of his head.

"I can't believe I went through all the sucky training if I can't even go up there and _help_ them!" Matt muttered angrily. "We're all just useless down here."

"I agree with the feeling useless, Matt, and I'm sorry, but there's nothing we can do about that," Shannon Bieste said resolutely. "Rachel made it clear that since we have no means to defend ourselves besides trading bullets, we'd only prove to be a distraction."

"A walking, talking, kidnap-able distraction," Burt added.

"And in Sue's case," Tanaka smirked and then stopped looking around curiously. "Where is Sue? Because you know she'll annoy the kids and they'll just use her as throwable ammo. I've seen what Puckerman does to people that annoy him. It ain't pretty."

"She's still locked in with Will," Bieste realized, turning quickly and rushing towards the infirmary that Sue and Will Schuester had been locked in all night.

The explosions from above _almost_ drowned out the sound of metal clanking against metal from inside the locked infirmary doors. Everyone watched in horrified fascination as the steel sliding doors rumbled with very precise and exact blows. Soon, one of doors finally broke from its hinge and Sue Sylvester pushed the obstinate door to the ground while emitting a bellowing roar. She looked around wildly and demanded,

"Where are they?"

An explosion, this one much louder than the last echoed throughout the underground hallway. Sue shook her head slowly and pointed back at a still restrained Will Schuester with a pillow over his face.

"I tried to smother the life from him 75 times throughout the night in order to get information out of him. It's a highly advanced branch of torture to only be used in highly specific situations," Sue explained needlessly. "I got one thing from him moments ago."

"And?" Bieste demanded, wishing that her fellow coach and community member would just behave normally for one second.

"Our frizzy haired immortal in there never, EVER told the government about the mind," Sue said grimly. "They're going to catch one look at what that girl is capable of and drag her away."

* * *

The girl in question was stepping very slowly out of the barn, her face _fuming_ more than it had ever been before. This was more than just a stolen solo or a slight from a classmate or worse a teacher. They wanted the one thing in her life that made perfect sense at that moment. They were intent to kill the rest of them in order to get their grubby hands on her Noah.

"Unacceptable," she spat out through gritted teeth.

"Sparky, get back here," Puck ordered harshly.

"Everyone…don't move!" Rachel ordered, really truly meaning it in every sense of the word. Her teammates had no choice but to obey her orders as they watched her storm out of the barn, looking very much like she was storming out of the auditorium after Schuester had managed to ruin her life after a teaching moment. A drone whizzed in from the distance and they realized that she was stomping off to her _certain death_, not because she wanted to teach their former choir director a lesson or two about respecting her amazing and awesome talent.

Puck flinched and moved two steps in spite of Rachel's direct control over his actions as she stepped closer. She held up a hand and the largest and most powerful fire ball she had ever managed to conjure expelled itself and shot through the air effortlessly, it landed squarely on the target, exploding the drone and explosives mid-air.

"HOLY SHIT," Blaine's eyes widened.

"Can't you get to her? Zip her back here?" Puck demanded crazily.

"She told us NOT TO MOVE," Blaine argued. "Believe me I've been trying to dance a fucking Irish jig over here, my legs won't move at all. I seriously doubt that I could get an erection right now if I wanted to."

"Uhoh, Kurt," Santana arched a brow.

"LocaLopez, fucking focus for a second! My girl is going to get shot to pieces out there!" Puck yelled.

"_OUR_ girl," Santana rolled her eyes.

"Fuck that noise," Puck struggled and managed a few steps closer to Blaine, despite the physical migraine-like pain that exploded in his brain as a result of not listening to Rachel's orders. He grabbed Blaine's arm and said, "Teleporting isn't actually moving…just blip us there."

"Did you just find a loophole you wonderful and amazing crazy motherfucker?" Blaine whispered. In no time they zipped through time and space and wound up in their frozen positions in front of Rachel ten feet away.

"Baby, don't be mad," Puck prefaced. "I get it, you want to talk things out with the assholes in charge over there. We'll do that, but you're not going alone."

"I told you to stay put!" Rachel hissed angrily.

"You said not to move. Apparently straight Blaine figured out that we weren't technically moving body parts…we're still sort of frozen here, and if you'd un freeze us, straight Blaine and I would stand a better chance of avoiding bullets," Blaine said helpfully.

As if on cue, a shot was fired in the distance, Rachel's head snapped towards its direction and her eyes flashed with an intense anger that neither boy had ever seen in real life before. Puck nearly fell into Blaine completely as she allowed them to move. Soon, all the Gleeks were running towards her anxiously, having the ability to walk again.

Rachel continued onward as the Gleek's walked behind her. Puck stubbornly insisted on holding her hand and walking by her side no matter how many times she mentally ordered him to stand behind her. It was becoming very clear that he had some sort of immunity to the control she had over everyone else. A control that she was currently exhibiting as they walked through the goop covered soldiers. She stared at the goop that Santana had cleverly used to immobilize them and it did her bidding, separating enough for the gleeks to walk through. The soldiers ability to even squirm disappeared as the goop solidified over them like cement.

Santana waved coyly as she froze a few of them too. Next in line were the heavy artillery. They had been stunned motionless as the payload willingly walked towards them. Their orders were to avoid violence if at all necessary in order to get the kids in top condition. Violence seemed like it was the last thing they needed as thirteen presumably super-powered teenagers were walking amiably towards surrendering. Well twelve were walking casually. The short little one was taking fast and quick steps with her free hand balled into a tight fist as she glared straight ahead.

Rachel paused in the middle of the guns and shook her head before arching a very evil looking brow. Slowly, each of the gunned men turned, pointing their guns not at the teenagers, but at another soldier.

"Violence is abhorrent!" Rachel announced. "If you feel the need to pull the trigger, just know you will be blowing each others' manhood off."

"That's a way to stay non-violent?" Artie whispered, unfortunately to Brittany who only nodded and agreed wholeheartedly and adorably with Rachel.

They made it to the tanks and Rachel shouted, "If anyone has a problem with being burnt to a crisp, they may want to exit the tanks now!"

Rachel waited a few moments before people slowly started to make their way out of the tanks. Rachel waited until they were a safe distance away before she shot off a series of blue orbs courtesy of Quinn, each one filled with a highly potent, incredibly hot _lava_. Each one hit their mark and each one had the desired effect, completely obliterating eight tanks. Brittany clapped her hands together and squealed,

"She knew the weak spot on the Tank…that means she knows I love her. She's smarter now because of how hard I love her."

A shot went off from behind them and Rachel turned in a huff. Then something happened that Blaine hadn't quite figured out yet or more probably hadn't even thought possible. Two of the tanks blinked out of existence and reappeared fifty feet over the heads of the soldiers who had dared to fire a shot towards them. It dropped in a free fall, sending the soldiers scrambling. She held up a hand and a seriously large wall of blue energy zipped right past the gleeks, barely disturbing the air enough to muss their hair.

But when the forcefield hit the area where any lingering soldiers were, it effectively pushed at least fifty of them quite a few feet before folding and boxing them up neatly. She turned again and walked purposefully followed by her awed friends. Soon she was standing in front of an attractive woman in her forties, who was presumably the person in charge.

"General Benson?" Rachel wondered.

This caused the General a moment of shock due to the fact that her name and title were usually kept more secret than UFO sightings. She soon hid behind her no-nonsense mask and nodded at the girl in front of her.

"We weren't expecting someone like you," General Benson admitted quietly. The powers the girl displayed were simply amazing. Why would they need the fire kid if they had a girl here who could do _everything and more_? She nodded and began her argument smoothly, "Obviously we-"

"_Obviously_, you need to pack up all of your things, and leave," Rachel said sternly.

"Little girl…that's just not possible," General Benson actually smiled at the girl's spunk.

"Oh, I do believe anything that I say is possible, I always have," Rachel replied airily. "You'll notice that I didn't resort to the kind of violence that could potentially maim or even scratch one of your men. But in the past few days, you've been aiming to kill me and my friends. We didn't ask for this, and we didn't ask for you. So I will ask you one more time. Leave and never come back. Or I will make you _regret_ your decision."

General Benson remained silent as Rachel stared her down. Then something very startling happened. She felt herself moving without realizing it. She watched with suddenly wide and horrified eyes as the soldiers that had fled for their lives moments before began to slowly pack up with looks of bewilderment on their faces.

Rachel's twelve teammates looked on with matching smirks as they crossed their arms in front of them proudly. Rachel waited until General Benson and her soldiers assembled themselves into a huddled mass. Puck looked down at her as she gripped his hand tighter than she had before and he felt his energy sap as she pulled off the biggest trick yet.

Every person, machine and piece of evidence that the government had been standing in front of them and around them, blinked right out of existence. Puck's eyes went wide, mirroring the other kids who stared at Rachel in awe.

"Did you blink them to the bottom of the ocean?" Brittany wondered hopefully.

"Better. Times Square." Rachel smiled. "Good luck explaining that to Katie Couric."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

If you do this, you will have my eternal devotion, love, adoration and I will give you cupcakes if I were to ever meet you face to face:

1. Go to itunes

2. Click on Glee stuff

3. Buy "Need You Now"

4. Reap the benefits of being super duper magically deliciously awesome.

Chapter 46 - "Mama Who Gave Me, New Ways to Handle Things"


	46. Chapter 46

Hello gentlereaders!

Did you buy your Puckleberry duet? It's getting up there in the charts, already in the 30's, considering the episode hasn't aired yet, that's pretty exciting! And I think, that they may have leaked part of the scene for the duet as well. I'm sorry, but I'm going to be busy dying until Sunday.

The chapter title is taken from the Spring Awakening song "Mama Who Bore Me".

**

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 46 – "Mama Who Gave Me, New Ways to Handle Things"_

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_Mendelian genetics really is the least offensively difficult branch of biology to study. Depending on the length of your course you could start with fruit flies or even go so far as using plants. Since fruit flies are generally disgusting in all stages of their lives, we will focus on flowers. Take one white flower and one red flower. Cross-breed them and what do you get? Beautiful pink flowers. Cross the pinks with the pinks? You get white, pink and red, in a ratio of 1:2:1. _

_Genetics is a fascinating world of dominance and recessiveness that plays behind the scenes of every carbon-based life form in the world. _

_Genetics has played a huge role in the formation of our new heroes. It will continue to play that role for the unforeseeable future._

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* * *

_

"What on Earth were you thinking? Do you understand that they will hunt you for the rest of your life now? Just the fact that you can read minds is enough, Rachel! Now they know _everything_, and you can do things that the original Mind didn't dream of yet. I cannot believe that you were so incredibly reckless!"

Thirteen stunned teenagers' jaws dropped in astonishment as Mr. William Schuester, aka the first immortal, aka their former Glee Club director was very sternly lecturing Rachel through the broken infirmary door as he was _still_ strapped to his bed. They didn't know that Sue Sylvester had been relaying what was going on upstairs through the buildings closed circuit intercom system and Will had a ridiculously detailed play by play.

"I _covered_ for you for hundreds of years. You don't know these people, but I've known them for generations. They will stop at NOTHING to get you and use you up until there is nothing left!" Schue spat out. "Out of all the powers, I never told them about you. _Never_, because you…you're different Rachel."

Rachel tilted her head to the side as she regarded her former teacher. She walked slowly towards the room, gripping Puck's hand along the way. Puck wasn't looking curiously at the man, he was openly scowling, as were most of the other Glee club members. Rachel stepped into the room with Puck and they were eventually followed by every one of their teammates. Schuester still seemed especially annoyed as he openly glared at Rachel.

"We didn't have a choice," Rachel began with an even and almost unfriendly pleasantness in her tone. "We were one explosion away from having the barn collapse, which would have more than likely killed a few of us and then you would have been trapped down here for the rest of eternity."

"There's always a choice," Schue ground out. "Instead of wasting your time with silly traps and confetti…you could have immobilized all of them. Hell, Kurt could have turned the machines against them and you wouldn't have had to lift a finger."

"I'm not killing people with machines!" Kurt scoffed. "Do you know how bad karma affects the luster of one's skin? Well, obviously you've suffered the after effects."

"Killing people is wrong," Brittany said solemnly. "I want to get into heaven so that I can keep dating Artie and Santana forever."

"Mr. Schuester, we never asked for any of this. Just like you," Finn said gently. "None of us signed up for killing people."

"No one ever does, Finn," Schue disputed. "But you guys have to start thinking that there are times when it's kill or be killed."

"Is that how it was for you?" Puck wondered, speaking for the first time as he still openly glared at the man who was suddenly inexplicably his enemy because of something that happened 372 years ago. "I mean, they said that you were in a shit ton of wars. Did the government make you do that?"

"I signed up on my own for the first one," Schue explained, his eyes going slightly glassy in remembrance. He was quiet for a few extended moments before he shook his head and his lips pinched in an uncomfortable way. "It didn't quite take one battle for me to realize that it wasn't really all that it was cracked up to be."

"Mr. Schuester, I'm really sorry that you had to go through everything you went through," Rachel said diplomatically.

"Sorry? Well then, here's a tip. Try to not to ham it up for your adoring audience out there," Schue said harshly. "I know you love the sound of applause, Rachel, but really, you don't want these people applauding you."

"Watch it, Pervy McSkankbutt!" Santana growled at the very same time that Puck had opened his mouth. "Back off of our girl."

"It's very funny that she's _your girl_ now, when one month ago you couldn't stand the sight of her," Schue smirked. He actually chuckled and admitted. "I know that I shouldn't have because I was a teacher, but all of your negative reviews of Rachel's personality really did persuade me and I became a believer. And now all of you have changed your tune."

"Actually, I always liked Rachel," Blaine shrugged, grinning at her helpfully.

"Me too, so shut your trap Schuester," Puck said lowly, his voice gravelly and dangerous.

"Puck, last year you said the girl made you want to light yourself on fire," Schue reminded him with a raise of his brow. He nodded his head slightly towards the boy and asked, "How's that for irony?"

"What is your angle here? What is the benefit of being mean to Rachel?" Quinn demanded. "We get that you had some romanticized vision in your head about her, but now you're just being cruel. How did you fool all of us for two years into thinking that you were a good, kind person?"

"If you've lived as long as I've lived, you learn how to adapt," Schue spat out bitterly. "And you learn about real cruelty."

"Let's shove a sock in his mouth," Mike offered helpfully.

"He's seriously spewing shit nonsense out," Tina nodded in agreement.

"Do you know Rachel is the only one of us that actually wants to help you?" Sam wondered thoughtfully.

"Guys, as wonderful as you're all making me feel by defending me, it's really not necessary," Rachel said softly. She leveled a hard and cold look Schuester's way. "I think I've proven that I can defend myself."

Schue tried to make a retort, but found no sound would force its way out of his throat. He squirmed in the bed and looked at Rachel angrily and she stared back at him blankly before shrugging and turning to walk away, Puck in tow. The act of mentally getting Will Schuester to shut up had taken every last ounce of her energy. It was time for a refill.

"I need to recharge my batteries, Noah," she said simply, giving his hand a squeeze..

"HEY! Why's he get to recharge all alone?" Santana called out as the other Gleek's came tripping out of the room following Puck and Rachel obnoxiously.

"Stop being a pervert," Quinn scolded Santana.

"I'm not being pervy. We all worked super hard today, maybe we should just cuddle it up like champs?" Santana threw Quinn an offended look.

"Kids?" Burt rushed down the hall.

"As wonderful as cuddling as a group would be," Rachel said patiently. "I really need some alone time with Noah."

"Damn straight, Sparky," Puck nodded his head and grinned suggestively.

"Darling, please don't be crass," Rachel rolled her eyes. "This is simply perfunctory and in no way-"

"I don't know what that word means, but when I find out that its bad, I'm totally going to have to punish you," Puck leaned down and murmured in her ear, causing her to blush. He waved at the others and offered, "See you losers later!"

"KIDS!" Burt said, louder this time.

"What's up Dad? Is Coach Sylvester still pitching a royal fit about being kept out of the action?" Kurt wondered.

"No, we got some communication from Massachussetts," Burt said grimly. All the teenagers tensed as they knew their parents were all holed up with the rest of the community. "We're going to have to take a little trip down there."

* * *

"How's she doing?" Carol Hudson-Hummel wondered softly.

"Terribly," Judy Fabray admitted wearily, closing the door behind her and taking a deep breath of freedom in the hallway. "Puck's mother just started her shift. Hopefully she'll settle down."

"It's just too surreal," Carol whispered. "How in the world weren't we prepared properly for this?"

"Well, we don't exactly have research on this type of situation," Judy admitted. "With the original fire and the mind's children…well."

"It's a highly unusual circumstance, I understand. I mean, Rachel is a mere descendent of the original mind and fire and still, she always managed to impress me with some of the things she just _knew_," Carol admitted as she stared at the room Judy Fabray had just exited. She managed a smile, "I know that these are trying times, but won't it be a relief to have our children back, even if it's only for a little while?"

"Such a relief," Judy laughed. "Mrs. Chang has been crying tears of joy for the last two hours since the message was put out to Lima. And I know that I'm literally shaking at the thought of seeing Quinnie again."

"Do we know how they'll arrive?" Carol asked.

"No one's said anything to me, I just really hope that its sooner rather than later," Judy admitted. The sound of an explosion and the wailing of a small child behind the door she had just exited made her jump out of her skin. She placed a calming hand over her chest and sighed, "It can't be soon enough."

A gust of wind and a popping sound echoed throughout the hallway that Carol and Judy had been standing in. The ladies clenched their eyes shut at the force of the wind, and when they opened them their jaws dropped to the floor. All thirteen kids were standing before them looking anxiously around.

"Mom!" Finn and Quinn chorused identically.

"Carol!" Kurt squealed.

The three of them collectively tackled both Judy and Carol and the other kids smiled in response to the happy reunion. The smiles were quickly melded with anxious looks as they too wanted their own happy reunion with their parents. Rachel flashed a smile at all of them and said softly,

"I think they're all downstairs still eating dinner, if you'd like to go and surprise them," Rachel waved them off as everyone darted down the hallway to get to their families. Rachel remained with Noah, gripping his hand. Quinn and Judy also stayed behind.

"Kids…we have to show you something…the reason why we asked you to come," Judy said softly. "There's been…uhm. Well, we'll just show you, how about that?"

Quinn nearly rolled her eyes in an amused way. Her mother was never really great about revealing vital information. She always hemmed and hawed and tried to pass off the responsibility to another. Like fundamentals of sexual education for instance.

Judy turned to the door and carefully placed her hand on the knob, turning incredibly slowly. She took a deep breath before pushing against the door gently, her smile going tight and anxious at what she might find inside.

"Oh thank goodness, Noah!" Ava Puckerman breathed as she rushed to the door and enveloped her son in a hug.

"Hey Ma,' Puck mumbled onto the top of his mother's head. His eyes widened at what had been hidden in the room and he automatically turned his gaze to Rachel anxiously.

Because standing in the middle of the room next to a crib was Shelby Corcoran. And in that crib was his daughter. Quinn's daughter. Beth.

"Hello Rachel," Shelby said softly, her lips not quite stretching into a smile. Beth began babbling in her crib and Shelby forced a fully bright show smile. "I think someone would like to meet you-"

A small blast of blue light exploded from the crib and disappeared immediately. Rachel's eyes widened in shock and both Quinn and Puck's jaw dropped to the ground. Seven month old Beth Corcoran wrinkled her nose in her crib and clapped her hands together, causing another blast of light and then a small chunk of the wall was blasted onto the floor.

"Oh my God," Quinn breathed in astonishment.

Puck looked about the same as Quinn before slowly an undeniable grin grew across his face before he pumped his fist in victory, "My baby girl is a fucking badass!"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

We're almost there peoples. Almost to Sunday. Almost to 50. I'm stinking excited. A couple of people have been asking what the plans are for the future of this story. I have an ending, and it may be coming sooner than we think, however, the best part of the superhero genre are the sequels, right? I'm still not sure on how many chapters we'll get, but I know that after the Superbowl, I've hit my ridiculous goal and won't be posting a chapter every day. But we still have a few more days, and tomorrow?

Chapter 47 – "Baby You're a Firework, Come On Let Everything Burst"


	47. Chapter 47

Hello fabulous people! We're moving right along, inching ever so closer to Superbowl Sunday.

Thanks for the amazing replies and emails and tumblr messages. You're really fantastic readers and it makes all the work I've done in this past month so worth it.

This chapter title lyric is taken from Katy Perry's "Firework". I don't like this song. But then again, I don't like a lot of songs until Glee does them. Bastard evil genuisi that they are. Enjoy!

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad

_Chapter 47 – "Baby You're A Firework, Come On Let Everything Burst"_

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_There's a bond that happens between blood. Not to belittle the wonderfully adoptive parents that span the world. But there's a science and a magic to blood that cannot be recreated through a legal process. Its more than shared genetics and DNA dwelling within the blood. That's the pure science._

_There's a mysticism attached to shared blood that could potentially be studied for thousands of years before it is truly understood. You share more than hair color and potential genetic defects. You share blood, which is the most important life force that mortal humans have. _

_Blood effects emotions, thoughts, your pulse, your tears, your everything. To think that you can bury something like that is foolish at best._

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* * *

_

"Hey Beth, sweetheart…how are you?" Puck grinned in spite of himself as he walked towards the crib that the curious baby was sitting upright in.

His heart clenched, because she was absolutely gorgeous. Every little detail he had imagined up about his baby girl had come true. Her hair was dark and it surrounded her precious head in tuft-like curls. And her face…her eyes were big and more green than hazel, just like Quinn's. Her nose was his. Her cheeks, definitely his. Her cute little pout was her mother's though and Puck couldn't help but look back at Quinn with a happy grin on his face to share the thought.

It wasn't meant to be seen by Quinn though as she had turned and currently had her head buried in Rachel's shoulder as her back quivered with clearly violent tears. Rachel gave him the biggest smile that she could as she soothed Quinn to the best of her ability.

"Quinn, why don't you and your mother and I go and talk for a small bit?" Shelby wondered.

Quinn nodded quickly and gave Rachel a quick squeeze by way of thanks before walking out of the room without stopping to look back at the daughter she had thought she would never see again. She walked out with Shelby and Judy Fabray, leaving Rachel, Puck, Beth and Mrs. Puckerman in the room alone.

"Sparky, c'mere," Puck said softly from his place where he sat Indian style next Beth's crib. She was reaching out for him with delightfully chubby fingers as she leaned forward in her sitting position. Rachel did him one better, she reached into the crib and picked up the baby, who responded with a loud shriek of happy sounds. Puck watched as Rachel sat down right next to him with his daughter in her arms.

"Hello Beth!" Rachel said brightly as she positioned the baby so that Beth was staring at her with huge, fascinated green eyes. Beth did a fun spastic body twitch as she shouted out one gurgle and smiled at Rachel happily. Rachel grinned in response to the positive reaction and said, "My name is Rachel. I'm very pleased to meet you."

Puck chuckled and before he knew it he had re-positioned himself so that Rachel was sitting between his legs and his arms were wrapped around her midsection. He placed his chin on Rachel's shoulder and made a silly face for Beth's benefit, who probably could have cared less as she continued to stare at Rachel like she was the most fascinating thing on the face of the planet.

"Yeah I know, kid, she's gorgeous right?" Puck nodded. "Looks like the Puckerman luck finally kicked in?"

"OH MY GOD!" Ava Puckerman squealed as she jumped up and down in extreme excitement at the extremely close and personal moment between her son and the world's most perfect Jewish girl that had ever existed.

"Ava, duck!" Rachel called out because sure enough, the baby in her arms was so startled by the sudden anxious squealing from her biological grandmother that she let out her own squeal before her hand flashed with blue and the wall behind where Ava had just ducked exploded, another solid chunk crumbling to the ground. Beth began to cry and Rachel cuddled the baby tightly as she whispered soothing words in her ear, the words quickly turned into melodies and Puck was so transfixed that he didn't even notice his mother slinking from the room, silently weeping in victorious joy.

"She takes after me," Puck said softly.

"Explosions sound like you," Rachel nodded with a smile as Beth was lulled to sleep in Rachel's arms.

"Yeah, that too," Puck grinned, kissing Rachel's temple as he tightened the arm he had around her waist. "But you calm her. Just like you calmed me that night. Just like you calm me all the time."

Beth let out a contented sigh in her sleep as she cuddled close to Rachel. Rachel in turn, cuddled close to Puck. She managed to turn her face to him for just a second and shrugged. "This isn't so bad for a recharge."

"Rachel, how can Beth do what she's doing?" Puck wondered quietly.

"I think Brittany would be able to explain it better," Rachel whispered.

"I'm pretty sure you can explain it to," Puck smirked. He shook his head and said, "But I'll wait. We can have a group meeting in a little bit. Right now it's battery recharging time."

* * *

"Quinnie? Are you okay?" Judy asked tentatively.

"Can someone find Sam? I just really want to see Sam right now," Quinn breathed.

"I'll go," Judy promised, walking out leaving an uncomfortable Quinn and Shelby standing in silence.

"So," Shelby said softly.

"So," Quinn nodded.

"You're really upset," Shelby began.

Quinn scoffed and cut her off, "You're like the master of the obvious."

"Well, clearly, you're upset," Shelby shook her head. "And believe it or not, I think that I can be of some assistance. You forget that I gave up a daughter too, and I understand how it feels to be face to face with her all of a sudden."

"It's not the same," Quinn whispered. "You gave Rachel away, but you were supposed to you did something selfless for her dad's. And she's like, perfect, if a little annoying before. But still, I gave you a baby that blows things up."

"I gave the Berry's a daughter that I _knew_ was destined for this, Quinn," Shelby revealed. "My family is descended from the original Mind's. Well, Leroy Berry as well, from the original Fire, but clearly, no matter how badly they like to think that Rachel's ethnicity is a mystery…"

"I get it," Quinn nodded.

"I gave birth to Rachel knowing that I'd just condemned that beautiful baby girl to a life that wasn't exactly ideal, and would be full of hardship and struggle," Shelby admitted. "And then when I met her again at the amazing age of 16 and saw that she was more than ready to take over the world. It was just…overwhelming."

"I just feel terrible, Beth should be just-a baby, a normal little baby, and she's blowing things up and she's probably scared and confused," Quinn sniffled. "And I can't do anything, because I'm not her _mother_, I just gave her away."

"You didn't give her away," Shelby corrected Quinn insistently. "You gave her what you thought was a better life. And really…can you imagine what the last few weeks would have been like if you and Puck had decided to keep her? Or God forbid if she were adopted by a non-community family? This is where Beth belonged. You did the absolute best you could for her. You made the right choice."

"Hey," Sam rushed into the door and took one look at Quinn's tear streaked face before enveloping her in his arms. "You okay?"

"I'll be okay," Quinn nodded. She smiled at Shelby and said softly and cautiously, "I'm not ready to see her tonight. I'm sorry. But I will tomorrow morning. Okay?"

"That sounds wonderful, Quinn," Shelby nodded, patting the girl's shoulder before leaving the room with Judy Fabray.

"Are you really okay?" Sam whispered.

Quinn's lip trembled and she shook her head before finally admitting, "No. Not at all."

* * *

"Daddy, this is Finn. You remember him from our concerts and performances, right?"

"Hello Mr. Jones….Dr. Jones. Mr. Dentist Dr. Jones," Finn stammered, holding out a hand nervously to a very intimidating Mr. Dentist Dr. Jones.

"Relax," Mercedes muttered.

"You relax! I'm totally relaxed," Finn insisted in a hushed mumble. He turned to Mr. Dentist Dr. Jones again and flushed considerably. "I only have like, really honorable intentions towards your daughter. And any sleepovers or cuddling that may have happened were completely innocent and I really really like her."

"Not the best lead off, honey," Carol rolled her eyes as she attempted to rescue her son from embarrassing himself further. "Why don't we go and grab you some dinner?"

"Awesome," Finn waved at Mercedes' Dad and then went to lean in to kiss Mercedes but thought better of it and offered her a handshake instead. She took it and rolled her eyes before turning to her amused, yet angry Dad to explain. Finn meanwhile followed his mother's lead through the large and comfortable dining hall. Unlike their own mess hall, this one was full of people, mostly the immediate thirteen families of his friends.

"How is Burt?" Carole asked quietly.

"He's good, not kidnapped. We totally saved him," Finn nodded. "And you know, sticking behind with Schuester to make sure that Coach Sylvester doesn't try to smother him with pillows. Although the guy can't die so, I don't see the big deal."

"Finncredible Hulk? We got a team meeting in five," Mike announced, stretching his body all the way into the kitchen area from the dining hall next door. "Thank God too, cause my mom _won't_ stop crying."

"Oh cool,' Finn nodded as Mike bent away. He looked to his mother, whose eyes had seemingly popped out of her head completely at Mike's fun trick. He grinned at her and said, "You remember Mike, mom. He was always really bendy. SO...can I like take some food with me to the meeting? I'm super hungry."

Finn eventually walked away with enough of a feast for Thanksgiving and made his way towards the small table only the Gleek's were huddled around, all of the parents had already left the large dining hall. He sat down next to Mercedes and pouted when Puck grabbed a sandwich from his overly filled platters. Brittany looked around and assessed the moods of everyone at the table quickly, before settling on the sad and desolate face of Quinn. She reached out a hand and squeezed Quinn's forearm before asking

"Did you guys see Beth?"

"Drizzle?" Finn furrowed his brow. Even though his mouth was full of food he still asked almost coherently. "She okay?"

"My Dad took me to the library...it's seriously amazing, there are like, 1,913 books there," Brittany announced.

"That's a pretty specific guess," Mike chuckled.

"It's not a guess. I counted three times," Brittany disputed solemnly. "But I was looking at one of the cooler looking books, it was the hardest one to read. And it talked about how Rachel's ancestors...the descendents of the fire and the mind? They totally had kids together, I mean, yeah, obviously cause Rachel is here and so is her mom that isn't a dad."

"Birth mother," Artie offered helpfully.

"I know," Brittany furrowed her brow. She shook her head and got back on track, "Anyway...so like there kids were the only kids that came from two powers back then. Because I think that once the moon was on fire, the powers couldn't have kids with their normal wives anymore. So, the fire and the mind's kids were the only like...samples."

"Examples?" Sam wondered.

"Okay, whatever," Brittany shrugged. "And the three that they had were like...kind of powerful themselves. So I thought that since Beth came from two powers she would have something too. And we're here for an emergency, so I figured that was it. So what does she do? I really hope its shooting lasers out of her eyes."

"She explodes shit!" Puck beamed proudly. "It's like her hand goes blue and then something explodes. Totally kick ass."

"Totally!" Mike agreed and high-fived the proud father.

"Lasers would have been cooler," Brittany huffed. "That's okay, Puck and Rachel's baby might get lasers."

"Hold up, Britt, you said that the powers couldn't have kids with normal people?" Mercedes demanded.

"Yeah, we're lucky they were like, teenaged bunnies before the fire moon," Brittany nodded. "We wouldn't exist and I like existing."

"So, say...**we** want kids someday?" Artie wondered.

"Oh, if you want them, you have to wait until I'm at least twenty-seven. I don't want stretch marks before then," Brittany told Artie calmly. "It was one of the things Mr. Schuester got mad about according to this book I read earlier. He tried to get the other powers angry because the fire and the mind were the only ones able to have kids. And apparently having kids back then was super important."

"So, if we want to get married and have kids, it has to be-one of us?" Mike questioned.

"Well, yeah," Brittany nodded fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the slow-witted responses of her team. She lost the battle and rolled her eyes anyway before looking sadly at Kurt and Blaine, "You guys couldn't have babies anyway. But you can adopt cute Asian babies. Or maybe Russian ones."

"I'll totally have your gay babies," Santana offered.

Brittany grinned at Santana and blew her a kiss, "Santana, you're so thoughtful."

The rest of the Gleek's were shocked into silence, their eyes firmly trained on the floor. Sure, they were seventeen and perfectly happy in their current couplings or triplings at the moment, but it seemed sort of a heavy burden to realize that any hope for a normal life with a normal family would have to be with each other. And then, even then you may get a baby who shoots lasers out of their eyeballs. They were rocked out of their contemplative silence when they heard a booming crash from upstairs, then a woman's voice echoing throughout the halls.

"Rachel?"

"Oh, Beth must be awake," Rachel said softly, rising from her seat, gripping Puck's hand and running towards the staircase.

Brittany pursed her lips as she watched them rush off before she she resolutely stated, "Laser eye baby will be much more fun than explosion baby."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I can't wait to get tomorrow's chapter up. So excited!

Chapter 48 - "Time Is Not On Our Side"


	48. Chapter 48

Hello everyone! Sorry if this is a little late for me. Real life decided to come in and try to thwart my delusions of awesome posting a chapter a day. But still, it's on time! YAY! 2 days till Glee!

Just to clear up some of the stuff about the procreating heroes. Imagine that when the eclipse happened, the Gleeks became like a new breed or species of human. They can't mate with normal humans. However, the kids they have together (like the original Fire and the Mind) CAN. Sort of make sense?

Thanks as always for the awesome response. Here is the latest chapter. Title lyric taken from Rolling Stones "Time is On Our Side".

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* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 48 – "Time Is Not On Our Side"_

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_A little experimentation never killed anyone. _

_Well, except people who experiment with dynamite. Or hardcore drugs. Or unsafe sexual practices. Or unrefrigerated and suspicious meat products. Or free-running through a really badly trafficked highway. _

_Some of life's greatest discoveries came out of a little experimentation. Automobiles. Post-it notes. Nyquil. Threesomes. _

_There's a fine, fine line between good experimentation and bad experimentation. And the cruel mistress that is the universe and fate in general will never let you know where that line is._

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* * *

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"Sparky, you awake?"

Rachel couldn't help the smile that tugged at her lips as her eyes blinked open and looked up at the man she was currently snuggled against in the room that Ava Puckerman had gleefully shown them to hours before. She stretched languidly against him, letting out a small contented purring sound that rumbled lightly in her throat. She could get used to waking up naked, curled up against Noah Puckerman.

"I am now, was there an explosion? Does Beth need me to calm her down again?" Rachel murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

"Naw, she seems better. I didn't hear an explosion all night," Puck assured her. "You're really good with her. Like…a natural."

"It's funny that you should say that, Noah," Rachel smiled up at him, her hands propping up her chin that had been against his chest as she stared up at him. "You can ask my dad's later today, but I've _never_ been good with children or babies. Infants in particular. Even Matthew knows that the babies at the Berry/Rutherford family reunions can just burst into tears when I enter a room."

"That is kind of funny. But you just picked up Beth like it was nothing," Puck shrugged. "You must have grown out of it."

"I'm not so sure about that," Rachel smiled. "But I could tell Beth was scared. And I just wanted to make her feel better. So I did."

"Thanks," Puck whispered. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"I don't know either," Rachel nodded in serious agreement. He began to tickle her and she gasped and giggled as she tried to squirm away from his torturous fingers. "Stop it, stop it, stop it!"

"I don't wanna, I like the way you look all naked and giggly," Puck insisted.

Rachel would never understand how he had managed to make the word _giggly_ sound so damned amazingly sexy, but there were a lot of things he did that were unexplainable. She managed the grip his wrists and quickly straddled his body, holding his wrists above his head, taking a lingering moment to properly gaze and admire the way his arms looked with them flexed like that.

"Stop drooling, baby. Defile me," Puck smirked flexing the guns a little so that Rachel's eyes nearly turned black with lust. He very clearly felt déjà vu, as this had most likely been one of the scenes that they had glimpsed from their future predicting snowglobe. He licked his lips in anticipation because he _knew_ how that one turned out.

"Mmmhmm…_defile_," Rachel murmured before going in for the kill with a wickedly soft smile on her face.

* * *

The rest of the Gleeks had gathered at their meeting table after enjoying breakfast with their parents. They looked around waiting for Quinn, Rachel and Puck to enter and join them, but Sam had informed them that Quinn was busying herself with meeting Beth. And Blaine had calmly informed them all that from the tingling feeling he was getting in his feet, his newly found brother in straight arms was not going to be appearing for at least the next forty-five minutes.

"I'll be right back," Santana whispered as she darted from the room before anyone could stop her.

"Ten bucks says that Rachel blips Santana to West Bumblefuck," Blaine threw a ten-spot down on the table.

"I'll see your ten and raise you three quarters that Puck lights her hair on fire," Finn fished into his pocket and shrugged sheepishly, "Make that two quarters and half a roll of peppermint mentos."

"Ohh, peppermint mentos," Kurt smiled eagerly.

"So…Brittany, did you get any research done last night?" Sam wondered as the rest of the Glee club made wagers on what would happen to Santana if she managed to successfully interrupt Puckleberry fun time. Sam looked anxiously to the door, wondering when Quinn would rejoin them.

"I read half of the books," Brittany nodded.

"Didn't you say there were like…a hundred books?" Finn furrowed his brow.

"1,913," Brittany shrugged. "A lot of them were boring. Like the bible. Like, this one baguettes that one baguettes that one. What were they doing with all the French bread? Like…how do you baguette someone?"

"Family histories," Artie explained to everyone.

"And I read the soothsayer's books," Brittany grinned at Artie. "Towards the end of his life, he got _really_ good at figuring out the future. He didn't even need the Stone anymore, he just wrote them all down in Latin. They're like poems."

"Apparently my predecessor predicted a lot of the technology that exists today, he even drew pictures," Artie nodded. "That's why the community is loaded enough to have this sprawling compound."

"_Sprawling_," Blaine chuckled to himself. He rolled his eyes when no one returned his high-five. He sighed and muttered, "I miss straight-Blaine and girl-Blaine."

"So… how's everyone dealing with the whole, we have to mate with each other thing?" Kurt wondered airily, looking around curiously. The gossip in him couldn't help but avidly look for blushes or any moment of discomfort.

"Mike and I talked about it, and when I'm like, thirty, I'm totally willing to think about doing it without condoms," Tina shrugged. Mercedes looked at her with wide eyes and she waved her off. "Please, sure, we're seventeen, but have you seen Mike's abs?"

"They're really tight," Finn nodded in agreement. "Even when he's all stretched out and bendy."

"Besides, who am I going to find that's better?" Tina smiled at Mike and kissed his lips indulgently. "How would I explain the whole never dying thing to anyone else? And no offense, I love you guys, but I'm so not down with any of your naughty bits aligning with my naughty bits. Except for Rachel…and Santana…and Brittany…and Quinn…and Mercedes and her tatas. And maybe Blaine."

"And we're done," Mike kissed her again to shut her up before she could name more Glee clubbers. He was secretly super happy she had gone through all the ladies first. But gay Puck was still…sort of like Puck and he didn't know if the dude was full gay or gay except for hot girls.

"If Puck and Rachel are enjoying alone time, why aren't we?" Tina demanded, yanking Mike's hand and effectively him as they began walking away. "Call us when Rachel and Puck show up…or you know, if we're invaded or whatever."

"I'm going to go see if Carol can get in touch with my Dad," Kurt announced. He got up to walk away when Blaine gripped his hand and held him there for a second. Blaine looked at him expectantly his eyes actually sparkling up at Kurt playfully. Kurt's body was on auto-pilot and he leant down and pecked at Blaine's lips sweetly before pulling away and taking a deep swallow.

"Awwwwww," Brittany cooed, clapping her hands together excitedly. "Sweet boy kisses!"

"See you," Blaine grinned.

Mercedes gave a discreet high-five Kurt's way and then turned a grin Finn's way, but he was busy glaring Blaine down, his fierce protectiveness making her go gooey and a little bit weak in the knees. She stared at him in a way she assured herself was not stalkerish or creepy in the least. It was definite adoration though. No arguing that.

Mercedes' mind wandered as she continued to stare appraisingly at Finn as he began shoveling food into his mouth. The idea that they would be forced to either remain in their couples or mix it up amongst themselves had been a little unsettling to her. Firstly, she didn't really find any of the other boys attractive in their group. Second, she seriously doubted that any of the boys would give her a second glance when they were all smitten kittens with their own gorgeous girls. Third, she honestly didn't know if Finn quite understood the implications of Brittany's revelation from last night. He had walked her to her new room and kissed her very very thoroughly before he swore he heard her dad's throat clearing and kissed her forehead quickly before he hightailed it back to his room.

Lastly, she still didn't quite trust the fact that Finn liked her. She had dealt with seventeen years of insecurity. And as much as she loved the way Finn made her feel, she still was scared that the wonderfully warm, content and giddy feelings he inspired within her could be ripped away from her at a moment's notice. Finn finally straightened out his distrusting glare and turned to Mercedes with a goofy smile.

""Whatcha thinking?" Finn wondered.

"Nothing," Mercedes shrugged.

"So Artie, do you ever get like…more than glimpses that come out in Latin?" Sam wondered cheerfully. "I mean, can you see more?"

"There are dreams," Brittany answered for him. "Mostly about future-sex though, which is like…totally understandable, because I sleep in the bed with him. And so does Santana most of the time. And that one time Jesse-"

"Ooookay," Mercedes held up her hands.

"I think it would be really cool, if we could just like, combine our awesome shit and bam! Time travel into the future like Michael J. Fox, baby," Blaine grinned. He held out his hand for a fist bump and Artie chuckled and happily complied.

There was a blinding flash of white that originated where Artie and Blaine's knuckles collided, but it the small light rapidly exploded until the whole room was blanketed. They felt that familiar wind and their stomachs lurched as something unidentifiable and completely new occurred. The light receded after about a minute and a half and Artie, Blaine, Finn, Mercedes, Sam and Brittany found themselves in the exact same positions they had been in moments before, no worse for the wear.

"What in the hell did you two just do?" Mercedes demanded.

"Nothing?" Artie ventured hopefully, looking around to see that Blaine hadn't zipped them anywhere. They were still in the dining hall of the community main house.

"Oh my gosh you guys! YOU MADE IT!"

Five pairs of astonished eyes looked to the front door of the mess hall where someone who looked very much like Brittany…so very much like Brittany that they each feared that it was Brittany rushed through the room towards their table. The Brittany clone threw herself at their Brittany and squeezed her to within an inch of her life.

"Ohhhh. I get it," Brittany whispered, nodding as she squeezed back happily.

"Please explain, beautiful girlfriend…s?" Artie ventured.

Both Brittany's turned with an identical smile and calmly explained simultaneously. "You're in the future!"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So yeah, this will be like, the first time that the Gleek's are split up! Sort of. Just think of the possibilities. How far in the future do you think Artie and Blaine blipped them to? We shall see tomorrow some time in...

Chapter 49 – "Rolling, Rolling, Rolling In the Future"


	49. Chapter 49

One. More. Day. ONE DAY MORE! For realios, Glee in one day. I'm so super excited. Are you guys excited? I'm super excited.

The chapter title lyric is Tina Turner's "Proud Mary". I hope you enjoy the chapter!

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**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 49 – "Rolling, Rolling, Rolling In the Future"_

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_If you could see where your life was or wasn't ten years from now, would you do it? Consider that you should probably study and have a basic grasp of the time space continuum in order to ensure that you do not create some apocalyptic version of the future. If someday a person is required to obtain a license to time-travel as people do today in order to operate motor vehicles, the testing would no doubt be intense and not many people would pass._

_When you sit down to read a book, do you skip to the last page? Afterwards, how does it make you feel? Do you give up reading the book if it doesn't have the ending you desire? Do you toss the book to the side and ignore it? Or do you read through all the while thinking bitterly about how much you really don't want to read that book._

_Even if there's a happy ending on the last page, do you rush through the whole book, complacent and not really paying attention to the words on the page? _

_Maybe it's just the better idea to not skip to that last page._

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"Brittanies?" Mercedes whispered, her eyes bugging out of her head at that point as the two nearly identical blondes giggled and hugged, pulled back and seemed to share an unspoken language before giggling and hugging again.

"How far into the future are we?" Finn wondered. He furrowed his brow at the two Brittanys, glad that they were at least dressed differently. "I mean…is it like five minutes from where we were before?"

"How old are you Brittany?" Artie wondered.

"Seventeen, duh, I'm in your class, remember?" Brittany rolled her eyes playfully at her confused and dazed boyfriend. The other Brittany giggled some more and pinched at Artie's cheek playfully.

"You're so cute when you were this age. I almost forgot," olderBrittany cooed. "But I didn't forget completely, mostly because I have a super brain and you guys have almost normal brains."

"Almost?" Finn questioned.

"Okay, now, before we go any further, you guys have to use an invisibility cloak," olderBrittany explained. She took a moment to look pointedly at Blaine. He of course didn't understand the Harry Potter reference and she sighed. "Past me, you guys should have a movie marathon when you get back."

"I think that's a good idea," Blaine nodded his head sadly.

"Anyway, 'Cedes, you have to hide yourselves," olderBrittany ordered. "If people see you they'll get really confused."

"Why? Are we dead in the future?" Mercedes demanded.

"As if Rachel would let us die!" youngBrittany snapped. "You know, if you'd love and trust Rachel more, she'd be able to do the visions on her own."

Her future self agreed adamantly and said, "That's what I tell my Mercedes every day."

"It's Finn's fault," they both said simultaneously, then burst into giggles and hugs again.

"Are all our future selves here?" Sam wondered.

"No, they had a mission," Brittany explained airily. "I made sure they were gone and I stayed behind to babysit. They don't remember their trip to the future like I do. Cause of my super brain."

"We're going to forget this?" Artie shook his head in denial. "There are two versions of my lady standing in front of me. It's on the DVR in my head and I'm not deleting that, yo."

"Mercedes, seriously, if you guys want to hang out for a little, which I'm pretty sure you do, you have to hide," olderBrittany said with surprising sternness. She looked to the door cautiously and said, "You'll confuse people if you walk around in the open. They think you're in Uzbekistan right now, and I don't want to have to deal with the crying when you leave."

"She said babies earlier," Finn whispered.

"Oh my god, how far ahead are we?" Mercedes whispered back.

"Ten years. It was a pretty good fist bump," olderBrittany nodded happily.

"I love babies," Blaine grinned, the smile on his face bigger and brighter than anyone had seen. He turned to the other and implored eagerly, "Guys! I want to see the BABIES. Now, do it now, Mercedes. Now."

Mercedes rolled her eyes at Blaine's enthusiasm, which was already being picked up by young and older Brittany. Even Finn, Artie and Sam looked sort of enthusiastic. She did her best and they felt an icy cold shiver over their bodies, not unlike a slushie being dumped on their heads and dripping down.

"Stay quiet. You can only, like…observe," olderBrittany held up an index finger authoritatively before a wide smile broke out on her face and she clapped her hands together in excitement. "Follow me!"

The invisible quintet followed the older, future Brittany throughout the large main house of the community compound. The hallways were identical and familiar. As they walked however, they noticed a few things. Pictures on the walls that had definitely not been there when they had gone down for breakfast that morning.

Mercedes actually paused to take in each picture as the group got ahead of her. The first one that caught her eye was a photo of the thirteen of them in what she recognized immediately as Time's Square. They looked incredibly happy in their large and unwieldy group, their clothes led her to believe that it was springtime. It almost looked as if they had made it to Nationals and she shook her head in disbelief, knowing that that dream had already been dashed.

There were at least a dozen pictures after that first one that caught her eyes. Always with all thirteen of them. Always in a new and exciting locale. Paris. London. Tokyo. Somewhere tropical. The happiness on the faces stayed the same, never wavering. She found her eyes finding herself and Finn every time, and every time they were next to each other with Finn towering behind her, his arms wrapped around her shoulders, a huge and happy grin on his face.

Before she realized it she had gotten to a picture that didn't look like a vacation at all. The thirteen of them were perfectly arranged on the large and winding staircase of the community common hall. The boys were in gorgeous gray suits and all the girls in matching, beautiful and buttery yellow dresses. Except for Rachel. Who was dressed all in white.

"Oh my damn lord," Mercedes gasped. She felt like she was intruding and really hoped that older Brittany was right and they would forget what they were seeing. Because no way could she keep this gossip from Kurt and she didn't want to spoil anything for anyone. She furrowed her brow at the corner of the picture, where two small children were wrestling together.

A little girl, about aged five was dressed in the same lovely yellow hue as the bridesmaids, which probably meant that she was the flower girl. She was gorgeous and Mercedes figured it was her vision power kicking in, but she knew that it was Beth Corcoran. She was all big bouncy brown curls with golden streaks shining through from too much time in the sun, her green eyes were crinkled in delight and her lips were curled in a snarl that was _all Puck_ as she had the tiny ring bearer in a headlock. The poor kid…

Had a Mohawk.

"Oh my damndest damned lord," Mercedes nearly shouted.

"Mommy?" a tiny shout called out from the end of the hall where the rest of the party had meandered to.

"Mercedes, you have to whisper!" olderBrittany scolded as she rushed back to where they had left Mercedes behind. "I had to give them like, a pound of m&m's to get them to shut up."

"Get Rachel and Puck's kid to shut up?" Mercedes hissed as she rushed towards the boys. "Oh my God, Rachel and Puck have a kid and he's adorable and has a Mohawk and is the ringbearer at their wedding, and are you guys paying attention to me?"

"Not at all," Artie swallowed as he looked into the room that Brittany had led them to.

Mercedes peaked in and her eyes bugged out of her head.

"Babies!" Blaine whispered with definite excitement in his voice as he clearly itched to go in and start playing with the kidlets that were in the day-care like room. There were five children under the age of five at play. And in the corner there was one much older child, who was actively trying to ignore the drool muppets that were romping around the room happily.

"JONAH!" the tween screeched. She looked about eleven or twelve, her hair was a beautiful brown with golden streaks. Her eyes overwhelmingly green. She scrunched her face in annoyance and put up a hand towards a door on the opposite side of the room. A flash of blue and the door was in splinters.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Beth! I'm telling Aunt Brittany!" a young boy ruthlessly swore from the other side of the ruined door. A young boy who looked about ten walked out with a fierce scowl and a ridiculous strip of hair on his head. "I was taking a leak!"

"Jonah, I'm telling your mom that you swore," Beth rolled her eyes.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"

"Look at what you did!" Beth shrieked as she walked over to one of the youngest children. "Uncle Finn is going to dangle you by your ankles again. You know you're not supposed to teach Elijah swears!"

Mercedes and Finn each took a step back as Beth picked up the toddler who had been shouting the obscenity with such joy moments before. He was all big limbs in the petite Beth's arms, and was clearly much taller than the average 18 month-old. His skin was a lovely mocha color and his hair was fashioned into a tiny little afro. His huge brown eyes looked around curiously until they seemed to settle right on Mercedes.

"MOMMY!" he shouted.

"Oh shoot, I totally forgot that he could see stuff," olderBrittany whispered from the other side of the door where she hid.

"MOMMY! Momma…Daddy!" he resorted, reaching out anxiously for the parents he could see right in front of him.

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," Mercedes repeated in rapid fire succession, backing out of the room anxiously. She looked at older Brittany and whispered, "I won't remember this, right? I mean, I'm freaking out."

"You always freak out," olderBrittany rolled her eyes. "Just get over it. Finn loves you like, loads. He thinks your boobies are super fun."

"Can we go home now? This is all too freaky for me," Mercedes whispered.

"One problem," Artie shook his head from the doorway he was leaning his head into to see what was going on.

Mercedes turned around and looked into the room and there Finn was, holding little Elijah, obviously decloaked. She swallowed nervously as he appeased the little boy. The future little boy that was hers and Finns.

"Eli-poo can kind of cancel out your visions," olderBrittany explained. "I completely forgot about that. Damn stupid super brain."

"BABIES!" Blaine whooped, throwing himself on the ground where the remaining children were, and they happily tackled their favorite Uncle Blaine.

"Uhm..Uncle Finn? Uncle Blaine?" Beth wondered, furrowing her brow. "How did you guys get here? And why is Uncle Artie in a wheelchair?"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

We'll meet see a little more of the babies on the GLEE DAY CHAPTER. GLEE DAY (not superbowl, even though I'm a big football fan). Thanks as always, for the amazing replies, emails, alerts, favorites and tumblr messages. I wouldn't have been able to do this chapter a day thing without all the nudges.

Chapter 50 – "We've Seen the Best of Love, the Best of Hate, the Best Reward is Earned"


	50. Chapter 50

**HAPPY GLEE DAY! It's the greatest day of the universe.**

On a much much much lesser note, Happy 50th Chapter Day! I posted the first chapter of this fic on 12/21/2011 thinking that I would get zero response except for all of those who put up with my Fuickleberry/Drabble/World Famous Sugar Cookies nonsense. I cannot tell you what this means to me. I have gotten so many alerts and emails from those that have favorited this. It gives me so much joy to know that you enjoy this and that you enjoyed it enough to let me know. I couldn't have done this crazy chapter (and sometimes two) a day pace without all of your support. You'll still get pretty frequent updates until I wrap this up, because I love you guys so very much.

Special thanks to pinkdrama, Gleegasm, Ihateyellowhats, Myra, Rebecca, tarafina xritaskitahatersx, aikeei, wickedmessenger, gleekscanada and Jacky and so many other Puckleberry bubble members out there who have been super duper supportive. You are the best people on the internet.

Okay, enough of my gushing (but seriously, I'm so happy about this). The chapter title lyric honor goes to Jimmy Eat World (#1 favorite band) and their song "Chase This Light" from the album of the same name.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 50 – "We've Seen the Best of Love, the Best of Hate, the Best Reward is Earned"_

_

* * *

_

_Children are absolutely amazing creatures. They have exactly half of the mother and half of the father. They are innocent and malleable and whatever personality quirks that aren't inherited are willed into them through their environment. _

_There are a lot of people of the opinion that children are foolish creatures. But they are surprisingly perceptive and not that easy to fool, despite the fact that they believe in Santa Claus. _

_

* * *

_

Beth looked curiously between the new arrivals. She was positive that her mom had told her that all of her Aunts and Uncles were going to be out except for Aunt Brittany. She had been particularly pleased by this because that meant her mom and the other community adults wouldn't be around as they had little to no patience for Aunt Brittany. It also meant that they were going to get loads and loads of candy.

She looked between her newly arrived Aunts and Uncles and smirked at Uncle Blaine in particular. He could never resist the babies. She looked back at Uncle Artie and asked the question again,

"Seriously, Uncle Artie? Are you like…what's the word? Nostalgic for your chair?" Beth questioned. She couldn't remember the last time her Uncle Artie had been in the chair.

"Take me for a ride!" Jonah demanded, climbing up into his Uncle Artie's lap immediately. "Let's go down the big hill by Granddaddies' house!"

"Brittany?" Artie turned to the Brittany that was currently hiding in the hallway. He shook his head, realizing that she was the smart one and was hiding as to not confuse the kids with _two _Aunt Brittanys. He looked over to a too curious Beth and stammered, "Well, you see…uhm, there are-"

"His chair misses him," Brittany explained in her usual calm and casual manner. "He's pretending to be like he was before so it doesn't feel lonely."

"That…makes…sense?" Beth furrowed her brow and was suddenly the spitting image of her biological mother. Her attention was diverted as a little girl the age of three rushed for the door. "Adelaide, no!"

"Two Aunt Bwitt!" Adelaide insisted strongly, turning and glaring at her half-sister. The little girl was the spitting image of Rachel, her long brown locks in two perfect braided pigtails. She glared up at Beth with big brown eyes and insisted strongly, "TWO! I want it!"

"Oh no you don't Adey," Blaine came to the rescue, sweeping the toddler off her feet. "Let's dance, princess."

"Ooookay," Adelaide giggled, her attention diverted by one of her most treasured past times. Playing with Uncle Blaine made her the happiest little girl in the world.

"Dance mommy!" Elijah reached out from Finn's arms towards Mercedes. His pouty little mouth puckered and he demanded pitifully, "Pwease mommy?"

"Merc, it's okay," Finn whispered as he edged his way towards Mercedes with the little Elijah squirming in his arms. He placed the baby in Mercedes' arms and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and swayed a little. "This is a fun dance, isn't it big guy?"

"Eli likes to dance," the little man insisted happily.

Sam took stock as what he could only assume was Puck and Rachel's son Jonah began doing complicated handshakes with Artie as he sat on his lap in the chair. Artie's hands were literally shaking as obviously the idea of ever getting out of his chair was incredibly jarring and seemed too amazing to be true. Blaine was _literally_ zipping Adelaide, whose bossiness could only translate into Rachel and Puck genes, in a dizzying whir around the room.

Elijah obviously belonged to Mercedes and Finn, no matter how scared shitless Mercedes currently was. He looked down as Brittany hugged a tiny Asian little boy, aged four, which clearly meant that Tina lifted her no kids before thirty rule. That left two other children in the room.

Girls. And they looked identical. Blonde. Big blue eyes. Adorable little faces. About four years of age as well. They looked up at him with sweet and beautiful smiles.

"Hi girls, did you miss me?" Sam crouched down to smile at the girls.

One of the little girls whispered in the ear of the other and she whispered shyly, "We did. We love you daddy."

"Ohhh," Sam melted, holding out his arms and letting the two shy and gorgeous little girls tackle him in hugs. He felt this overwhelming warmth wave over him that he hadn't felt since Quinn had first worn the promise ring. These two amazing little beauties he held against him were proof that the promise held and was well worth making. He grinned over Blaine and said, "The future _rocks_."

The quintet enjoyed the company of the tiny children, raucously playing around the room. They were surprised to see that some of the kids displayed their own special powers. Jonah really _did_ have laser vision and didn't hesitate in playfully scorching little pieces of paper that he had torn up and tossed into the air. Elliot, who indeed was the son of Tina and Mike, was a speedy little bastard. Literally, he ran so fast that he became a blur and he was a bastard, which Beth had airily explained that the wedding was planned for one year from now due to security concerns.

Elijah could see and get people to see what he wanted them to, because no matter what Mercedes tried to pull out as an illusion, the little boy airily waved it off. And Sam and Quinn's girls, Isabelle and Myra could shield each other from the flecks of paper that Jonah had been lighting on fire. At one point, they placed protective bubbles around the flames and the flame filled bubbles were floating around the room beautifully as little Elliot Chang chased after them haphazardly.

Adelaide was a force to be reckoned with, all of the Gleeks from the past quickly found out. Just like her mother, she exhibited several powers, anything she saw, she could do. It was amazing, and she was also amazingly perceptive, because no matter how much Blaine distracted her, she kept asking for her _other_ Aunt Brittany. She just knew that there were two Brittany's in the building, and she wanted them both at the same time.

Eventually, they played enough so that even Jonah and Beth looked sleepy. All the under five set were passed out on various adults. Mercedes looked to the door and whispered, "Oh, I think Rachel needs us. We better head out."

"Tell my mommy that I love her so much," Jonah said sleepily, his badass persona instilled in him since birth cracking under his extreme tiredness. "I can't wait till she gets back and sings us to sleep and Daddy makes us pancakes."

"Okay, bye kiddos!" Blaine squeezed and hugged randomly before reluctantly following the rest of his friends out the door where olderBrittany was waiting. He grinned at everyone and said, "I can't wait for these kids to start popping up!"

"Won't have to wait long," Mercedes smirked. "Jonah's ten."

"Yeah?" Finn furrowed his brow, not quite getting the meaning behind that.

"And we're _ten_ years in the future," Mercedes said slowly.

"Yeah," Finn nodded, pretending he got it. Eventually though, he really _did_ get it. His eyes got huge and he pointed a panicked look between all of his friends before mumbling, "What is it with Puck getting people pregnant?"

"He has a magic crotch, remember?" olderBrittany reminded her clueless friends from the past.

"Is Rachel going to be okay?" Blaine asked in concern. "I mean, we've been living lives of non-stop danger the last couple of weeks…how on Earth is she going to…"

"It makes her stronger," youngerBrittany revealed. "She figured it out from the stuff I read in my head, I think. She must have figured it out before I got a chance to, I guess. Which again, just proves how much I love her. She's the only one as smart as me."

"It's true," olderBrittany nodded happily. "But don't worry. Stuff gets figured out."

"And…when do I? When do I get to walk?" Artie whispered, clutching his Brittany's hand.

"It's soon, I promise," olderBrittany smiled down at him. "And just so you know? I got to stay behind because I'm totally ready for stretchmarks. San and I are like, super excited."

This set youngerBrittany into a tizzy and she giggled and jump-hugged with her future counterpart. It eventually dawned on Artie what that implication meant and he stared at futureBrittany's midsection anxiously, his eyes wide with sudden awe. Fully functioning penis,_ indeed_.

"We should get back," Blaine announced sadly. "I mean, if Rachel's already…you know, then we should get back because she'll probably feel us gone."

"Just go back like, a minute after you left. You'll be fine," olderBrittany assured her.

"And we won't remember this?" Mercedes furrowed her brow. It had taken her some time to get used to little Elijah, but after she had gotten over her initial shock, she had really fallen for the handsome little guy.

"At first you will, but it'll fade really quickly," olderBrittany nodded. "Sorry, but you guys aren't smart enough to remember. It does make you like…way happier."

"I can live with happier," Sam grinned. Obviously Quinn had eventually worked through her problems with her previous teenaged motherhood if he was the happy father to those beautiful girls in the future. He looked down at Artie and then to Blaine. "Get us back, okay? I just want to kiss my girl."

Artie concentrated and held out his fist to a still happy and joyful Blaine, who enthusiastically bumped his fist and caused a small whiteout. Brittany managed to call out anxiously,

"Good bye future me! I'm sorry we didn't get to make out!"

* * *

"Ohhh…I feel funny," Rachel whispered as she and Puck cuddled in bed together lazily, round two completely sucking their will to leave the safe haven of their bed. She let out a low and pained moan as she clutched at her temples in sudden desperation.

"You look pale, you okay?" Puck furrowed his brow. "Sparky?"

Rachel's eyelids drooped as she suddenly felt the absence of half of her team. She felt her breathing hitch and Puck watched, horrified as her skin went pale. Every last ounce of energy in her body had vanished along with the time travelers and she could only open her mouth slightly as she struggled to breathe. She was scaring Puck, she knew but there wasn't anything she could do. Blaine, Artie, Brittany, Finn, Mercedes and Sam were very suddenly and very completely _gone_.

"Rachel…babe, what's wrong?" Puck demanded loudly. He shook her slightly and yelled, "RACHEL!"

Santana bust through the door and looked to a nearly comatose Rachel and her eyes widened.

"What'd you do?" she screeched, rushing towards the bed where her nearly lifeless friend lay.

"Nothing…we were…NOTHING!" Puck insisted, tears springing to his eyes easily as his skin heated uncomfortably. "Baby, come on, what should we do…TINA, go and get Tina now!"

"I'm here…what's, oh my God, what did you do to her?" Tina demanded, pushing past Santana and kneeling on the bed that Rachel lay in. She looked at Puck anxiously as flames started to dance on his skin. "Santana, water..."

Suddenly Rachel took one long gasp for air and the color instantly returned to her face. Puck placed a hand on her neck and checked her pulse and felt only minimal relief that it was totally normal. He shook his head as Rachel took deep even breaths and he demanded, "What _was_ that, Sparky?"

"They left for a minute," Rachel gasped.

"RAE!" Sam shouted as he flew up the stairs. Blaine zipped in with the rest of them and they all looked flushed, guilty but incrdibly happy. "You okay?"

"I'm okay…" Rachel nodded with a smile. She looked down and realized that Puck had managed to cover her with a sheet before all hell broke loose. But she suddenly turned beet red. "Could everyone please…uhm."

"You're totally naked under there," Santana purred. She arched a playful eyebrow and assured her, "It's okay Sparkplug. We're all naked under our clothes too."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

enjoy the game! Enjoy Lea Michele singing "America the Beautiful", but most importantly, enjoy the GLEE! (AND PUCKLEBERRY YAY!) Again, you're the best people ever. 3 Caylee


	51. Chapter 51

I'm sorry? I promise you that I do NOT abandon anything. I finish things up or I die trying and I'm not dead yet, soooo. Good evening lovely readers! I'm very very sorry you had to wait 16 days for a new chapter of Misfit Toy Hero Squad. I promise you will only have to wait two to three more days for the next chapter. I can't post every day like I did before, but it will be more consistently every two to three days.

HAPPY GLEE DAY, EVERYONE! WOohoo! Super exciting. I found spoilers on tumblr for what they're shooting now and I'm debating on whether or not to read them. Eh, I'll give this a quick run through and my resolve will likely crumble.

The chapter title is taken from Sam Evan's lovely little ditty "Baby". I hope you enjoy!

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 51 – "And We're Like Baby, Baby, Baby….whaaaat?"_

_

* * *

_

_Human life is a miracle. _

_Under the most optimized conditions, the precise moment of ovulation, the world's strongest and most amazing sperm, the chances of creating a human life are still only at best 16 to 25%. _

_When you break down the act of conception thusly, to create a new human life, you have to NOT use your brain, but your body parts and hope that two miniscule objects that can't even be described as multi-cellular find each other. Like a feather and your nose. The feather floats down from the sky and out of all the places to land, it must find your nose. The feather doesn't move so well, mostly because it doesn't have eyeballs. And your nose stays placidly on your face and can't reach out for the feather. _

_Without a doubt, without pretense, and without irony. Human life is truly a miracle._

_You can however up the odds by jumping each other's bones off at every single opportunity._

_

* * *

_

"Where did you guys go?" Tina demanded, looking back at Sam, Artie, Brittany, Finn, Mercedes and Blaine for answers.

In response, she received five guilty faces that obviously didn't want to say anything as all of the Gleek's piled out of Puck and Rachel's room as they got themselves decent. Finn's face however, looked incredibly confused. He looked to his time-traveling companions and furrowed his brow. Finally he shrugged and admitted,

"I totally don't remember. But wherever it was, it made me super duper happy," Finn grinned, wrapping an arm around Mercedes' shoulders.

"You don't remember already?" Mercedes whispered incredulously.

"I knew he'd be the first to forget. His mind has to think too hard about other stuff," Brittany grinned. "I'm the smartest person in the world, so I'll remember forever. I bet Sam forgets next."

"Forget what? I mean…where _were_ you all?" Santana demanded hotly. "Sparkplug was fucking DYING, you assholes!"

"We're sorry, we're really, really sorry," Blaine said softly. He took two steps forward towards Puck and Rachel's closed door, feeling the need to make sure Rachel and Puck knew just how sorry they were for being gone, even if just for a minute. A newly arrived Kurt put a hand on Blaine's shoulder and he looked back, his face full of worry and a good amount of fear. "I can't imagine what straightBlaine just fucking went through. Artie and I didn't know what we were doing…we didn't mean to leave. And they looked really scared. And Rach looked so pale..."

"It's okay, interrupting would probably make it worse," Kurt smiled. "Let's just go downstairs-"

_Everyone? You can come back into the room now. I'm fully clothed and ready for visitors._

Blaine was the first one through the door and while everyone else went for Rachel, he threw himself at an unsuspecting Puck, who staggered as the shorter gay version of himself gave him a bone crushing bear hug, complete with gender appropriate back thumping.

"Uhm. Okay?" Puck furrowed his brow, his arms hesitantly going around Blaine's shoulder's and thumping the guy's back as well.

"I'm really fucking sorry, man. We tried to be quick. We tried to be back as soon as possible," Blaine mumbled miserably. "You look scared and I know I hate being scared, so I figured you'd hate being scared too."

"He's fine. I'm fine," Rachel assured Blaine as Tina, Santana and Quinn engulfed her in hugs.

Brittany hung back and watched with a stifled look of concentration on her face. Santana looked up at her better half and smiled, waving a hand for Brittany to join in.

"Come on, Britts, it's lady snuggles time. It's not lady snuggles time without you, baby," Santana cooed before she buried her face in Rachel's hair.

"I don't think it's a good idea," Brittany whispered. She looked to Artie who nodded in agreement with her. "We should hug her one by one and not too hard."

"She's sturdy, she's not gonna break," Tina insisted, squeezing indiscriminately. "I never want to have to heal you again, Rae-Rae."

"The nicknames are getting a little more silly as time goes by," Rachel said softly, as a small and happy smile taking over her face. She wasn't really going to complain about the adorable terms of endearment people were throwing at her.

"We should really hug one at a time," Sam insisted strongly, looking at Rachel cautiously, his eyes going to where Quinn was squeezing the girl's midsection.

"I agree," Artie nodded, he winced as he and Sam were clearly worried about Rachel's delicate condition.

"Hugging so much is bad for the-"

Blaine cleared his throat as he finally released Puck from his deathgrip hug. He looked to Brittany warningly and the girl nodded in understanding before finishing lamely.

"Hugging with so many people is bad for your complexion."

"You'll get zits," Sam nodded emphatically.

"You will?" Finn demanded, earning a swift slap to his gut from Mercedes.

"You guys are being weird," Quinn accused, finally detangling herself from Rachel before going over to Sam and hugging him. "And you haven't answered our questions. Where did you guys go? I mean…for a minute you just…blipped out?"

"They just blipped out a little by accident," Rachel announced suddenly as she detangled herself from Tina and Santana with as much delicacy as she could. Santana really did have a death grip. She hugged Brittany first and communicated wordlessly with the girl. Both of their brains going so fast that even the nonverbal communication was too speedy to discern. Words didn't quite get exchanged between their minds, rather huge blocks of information were pushed into each other's brains effortlessly and immediately. Rachel pulled away and couldn't help but smile giddily and couldn't help but mirror Brittany's actions as they jumped and giggled together.

"Super weird, B's. Super weird," Kurt dryly muttered.

"What's going on?" Puck questioned quietly. He looked at Rachel with a great amount of curiosity as she could only stare back at him with a gooey and love struck look. He couldn't help but smirk at her dopey face before he turned to Blaine and Sam for answers. "Speak, fools. Where were you? What'd you see? Why's my girl acting like she just got one of those Tony guys and a Grammy?"

"I gotta go," Sam said quietly, knowing that Puckerman could beat it out of him. He gripped Quinn's hand and asked, "Introduce me to Beth?" He hesitated when he almost added _again_ to his request.

They made their getaway and Puck concentrated his efforts on Blaine. Blaine's eyebrows shot up towards his hairline and he shrugged before reaching out and taking Kurt's hand, blipping out of the room completely. Puck rolled his eyes and gave up quickly on Finn, who was staring off into space with a decidedly euphoric grin on his face. Mercedes gave Puck one look of pure sass that told him in no uncertain terms that he would be getting _nothing_ out of her.

That left Artie. Sam was kind of a noble chicken shit. Finn was an idiot. Mercedes was a stone cold biotch. Blaine was a slippery devil, much like himself. Brittany was too _fucking smart _to be fooled into telling him what had happened when Rachel had clearly not wanted it said. But Artie was his bro. Artie would speak the truth. Puck put on his best bros before ho's face before he demanded,

"Speak the truth, or I will beat your legs until you can feel them again."

"NOAH PUCKERMAN!" Rachel yelled.

Puck's head snapped towards Rachel and he was about to start bitching his case about how he hated being left in the dark when he had watched her almost die for a full minute earlier. His bratty and obnoxious rant died in his throat however, when he saw Rachel's eyes _literally turn red_. The lovely deep brown Bambi eyes squinted and narrowed and were a clear red and he didn't know how he knew, but he _knew_ he had to duck. And he did so just in time as a laser beam shot in the direction his forehead had just been as he sprawled on the floor.

"JESUS H FUCKING CHRIST ON TOAST, SPARKY!" Puck roared as he picked himself off the ground warily, looking behind him where Rachel's laser beam had burned a small and precise inch wide hole in the concrete of the wall behind him.

"Oh dear," Rachel breathed. She looked to Brittany and bit her lip before looking back at Puck, who was dusting himself off warily.

"Oh my God," Santana whispered. Realization stole across her face in slow inches and her mouth gaped in a cartoonish gesture as she quickly added things up in her head. She looked back at Puck in disgust and hissed, "_OH my fucking God!"_

"Huh?" Mike furrowed his brow.

"I think I need to talk to Noah alone for a moment," Rachel said primly as she did her best to avoid Santana who was now looking between Puck and Rachel with near supersonic speed, her eyes practically bulging out of her head. "Give us half an hour and we will reconvene downstairs so that we can make a group announcement. Santana…"

"No can do, guys!" Sam announced as he and Quinn rushed back into the room. Kurt and Blaine blipped back in at the same moment. Sam looked at Kurt sadly and said, "Jesse just told us that our facility in Ohio has unfriendly visitors."

"Are you **_FUCKING_** kidding me?"

. . .

Twelve pairs of eyes turned to Rachel, who had the good grace to gasp and put a hand over her mouth after her very uncharacteristic and vulgar outburst. Santana stopped her game of eye ping pong between Puck and Rachel and let her gaze land on Rachel finally as a low and throaty chuckle started in the pit of her stomach. In a matter of seconds Santana was cackling hysterically, pointing at Rachel with a wobbly hand as she clutched her stomach as the laughing became even more insane sounding.

Rachel rolled her eyes at Santana's reaction before taking a deep breath. She closed her eyes and concentrated. Puck actually felt his energy drain from across the room, no physical contact seemed necessary. He actually swayed and fell to his knees. He blinked slowly and saw that the rest of the Gleeks were similarly drained, leaning upon one another and furniture in the room as Rachel stood in the middle of the room, eyes tightly closed as she fairly _hummed_ with an intense concentration fueled by the energy she was sapping from everybody available.

Puck could feel it when she had accomplished what she had wanted to do. He felt his energy slowly regenerate and he looked at Rachel with amazed curiosity,

"What did you just do, Sparky?"

Rachel smiled as her friends recovered and she turned on her heel. "Let's head downstairs and see, shall we?"

* * *

General Kate Benson opened her eyes, feeling her stomach flutter uncomfortably as its contents quickly and violently made its way upwards. She wretched and coughed uncontrollably as her body doubled over. Her equilibrium was way off and she had no idea what had just happened. She had been bearing down on the super powered teenagers' hideout with a force triple the size of what she had brought originally, intent on getting her hands on the girl that had shown her power and strength days ago before banishing every single government agent to the middle of Times Square.

She had nearly been court-marshaled over the entire fiasco. Luckily she had been able to talk her way out of any disciplinary measures using one key point. The girl who seemed to control _all_ of the powers. The girl they had not known existed. If they could get the girl, everything would fall into place.

"You can't do it you know."

General Benson's eyes flew open and she bit back a gasp as she realized her surroundings. She had been in the backseat of a large humvee, in the back of her troops, ready to invade. Now she stood in the middle of a clean and sterile room with one other person. A man, no older than thirty, strapped to a bed. William Schuester. She knew he had been taken back by the Glee club after their liberation of the three other adults that her colleagues had foolishly held hostage.

"Mr. Schuester," she said dryly.

"Oh, you're on top of some things, I guess," Will laughed mirthlessly. His face was deadly serious though and he said, "You can't get Rachel. She won't be taken. Those kids won't let it happen."

"I have no choice," the General said honestly. "The girl…_Rachel_. We need her."

"Helpful hint. If you kill one of the others, she dies," Will said shortly. He arched a defiant brow, some small part of him happy to have extended a little insurance policy for the kids that had him locked away at the moment. He didn't know that allowing Rachel into his mind would start regenerating his humanity. He sort of hated it. He shrugged and continued, "Just so you know. It's God's or…whoever is in charge…it's their funny way of keeping things in balance. You only get to keep her if everyone is there to help her."

"Good to know. Where are we?" Kate asked curtly.

"She'll be able to answer you," Will nodded to the door that Rachel was filing through with the rest of the Gleek's.

"This is some grade a freaky ass shit," Santana whispered. She looked to Brittany and demanded, "Rachel _transported_ the entire Ohio facility here?"

"She had an extra super power boost," Brittany whispered secretively.

"Laser eyes," Santana giggled to herself. "Swear words..."

"General Benson. I think you'll find that your troops are in Alaska," Rachel said primly. "I can understand your tenacity. I have quite a bit of my own tenacity. However, I must tell you that our team will _never_ be your little mercenaries. You're wasting your time and I would imagine you are wasting quite a bit of the taxpayers' hard earned money."

"I want to make a deal," the General said suddenly.

"Rachel," Will interrupted. "You can't deal with-"

"Shut it, Mr. Schuester," Sam snapped at him.

"We have things we could give you all," Kate insisted, her powers of persuasion at their height. "Added protection."

"Don't need it," Quinn held up a shimmering blue orb effortlessly.

"Money…"

"I can get a million dollars if I really needed it, but sweetheart, look around," Kurt gestured to the state of the art equipment in the infirmary. "We're not hurting for cash."

"Medical technology you couldn't possibly have access to," Kate said with quiet conviction as her gaze fell to Artie.

"oh…" Brittany whispered, looking down at Artie fretfully. Her eyes widened in understanding as she figured a few things from the future out. "_Oh_."

Rachel looked shrewdly at Brittany and the pair communicated at hyperspeed with their minds yet again and Rachel understood. She smiled at Artie warmly before getting the agreement from every Gleek in the room. She turned back to the General and said coldly.

"We have conditions. We choose the missions. They are only to be humanitarian missions. They will be as non-violent as humanly possible. We reserve the right to not do anything we choose. We will _never_ kill for you," Rachel said stiffly. "NEVER."

"Rachel!" Will scolded. "Don't be an idiot."

"SHUT YOUR HOLE, SCHUE!" Puck growled, instantly igniting his hands.

"There's a young man being unlawfully detained in North Korea. He has vital information about nuclear weapons that we must have. We want him freed. He's 27, a journalist and a former member of the Peace Corps. He doesn't deserve to be imprisoned," Kate pulled out her blackberry and began accessing files, steadfastly trying to remain nonchalant as Puck's fists were engulfed in very powerful and harsh flames as the young man stared down the seemingly harmless man strapped to a bed.

"Oh please, hand it over," Kurt rolled his eyes. He gripped the Blackberry without even looking at the screen and muttered a string of numbers to Brittany, who had a paper in her hands as Mercedes scrambled to get her a pen. The coordinates were drawn and Blaine was given his directions in less than five minutes.

They all linked hands immediately after Blaine gave the slight nod of his head that indicated he was ready. The thirteen kids blipped out of the room and exactly two minutes later, they had blipped back with an extra body in tow. The man was unconscious, starved and badly beaten. But alive and now free.

Rachel glared at Kate Benson harshly and said, "We will meet weekly. In a week's time, I want every piece and scrap of information you could possibly have about helping Artie be able to walk again. In return, we will do another mission for you. You should choose wisely a set of missions that you think we would take, remember our restrictions. We won't kill for you. In return, you will _never_ try to apprehend another one of us again. Mr. Schuester told you and you've already seen that we only work as a group. Harm one of us, and I will end you. If you bring another gun near my friends, my family, my boyfriend, my community or my baby again, I will destroy you and everyone associated with you. Are we clear?"

"Crystal," Kate said stiffly.

"I'll place you back in Washington so that you can get this young man proper medical care. Be ready to come back in a week," Rachel ordered.

"Wait-could you not do that transport thing it makes me-"

Rachel smirked as she blipped the offensive General and the previously imprisoned young man out of their facility. She gave an arched eyebrow Schuester's way before turning and leading her team back up into the community compound.

"I'm so glad you brought my skeeball table to us," Brittany grinned at Rachel appreciatively. She clapped her hands together and squealed as she realized, "AND MY STUBBS! Yay!"

"I'm glad my Dad is back with us and not stuck in Ohio," Kurt reached out and squeezed Rachel's shoulder appreciatively.

"So, we're like…a super hero force now, right?" Sam wondered happily. "Missions…and saving people for the good of the world…"

"It's cool, I know," Quinn smiled up at her boyfriend brightly.

"Three, two, one," Blaine whispered a silent countdown before looking at Puck expectantly, knowing _exactly_ what was just now hitting his straight brother from another mother's mind.

"RACHEL BARBARA BERRY!" Puck literally _squeaked_.

"Yes, darling?" Rachel asked sweetly, giving Puck her biggest and most beguiling smile.

"You said BABY! What the-how the-you said we were okay that it was okay to go all-what the hell, I mean…seriously? You said _my baby_. WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING HELL? You said I didn't need a condom! Baby…and then no…I mean…what? Baby? A baby? We just went to North Fucking Korea and there's a baby? You could have been hurt, a baby could have been...YOU SAID NO CONDOM!"

Blaine whispered to Santana as quietly as possible, "I would have handled that news the same way."

Santana smirked and shrugged, "I would have probably used porn words in place of the _no condom_ parts, but whatever, the dude's whipped now, he doesn't use his porn words."

Blaine nodded, "That's fucking sad."

Meanwhile Puck stood stock still in the middle of the hallway swaying uncertainly on his feet as he just continued to mutter the word _baby_ repeatedly.

Seven of the Gleek's faces didn't register any sort of surprise. Finn however, even after his trip to the future, looked most confused, "Wait, Rachel's going to have a baby? That's nuts!"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Thanks to everyone who messaged me, emailed me or sent a private message through ffdotnet. It's really stunning to know how much you missed this the past two weeks. I hope to see you Thursday or Friday! Much love and smiles and GLEE day to you all!

See you in Chapter 52 - "We Could've Had it All, Rolling in the Glee."


	52. Chapter 52

Good evening, everyone! Happy almost Friday!

Thanks for the lovely welcome back. I love my readers.

So, I'm straying from the format (again). I hope you don't mind. I really liked this chapter though. Look for another one Sunday!

The chapter title lyric is taken from Adele's "Rolling in the Deep", if you download an album in the near future, her new album "21" should be that album. While you're at it, download "19". She's brilliant and her voice is like heaven.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 52 – "We Could Have Had It All, Rolling in the Glee"_

_

* * *

One of the little remembered, yet particularly annoying iron-clad laws of the Universe is that when times are tough, a day will last forever. When times are good, a day, a week, a month will fly out of your hands quicker than the fastest bird, plane or teenager who can fly. _

_When you look back on the good times, you can only catch snippets. The big moments. A few tiny moments. Try to recall your childhood, which when compared with the rest of your life is literally heaven on Earth. Ten years of your life just fly by and you can only remember four or five different events. Days blend, memories coagulate and days and months and years become a large block of time with a few snapshots pasted onto the front._

_Here are 42 days of our intrepid Misfit Toy Hero Squad through a few snapshots._

* * *

**Day One**

"Brittany?" Rachel turned slightly away from a _seriously_ unwound Noah Puckerman. He had plonked himself down in the middle of the hallway and was sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest while berating himself for _screwing up_ and ruining Rachel's life and babies and condoms.

The rest of the Gleek's watched in astonishment, only three people truly understanding what was going on. Quinn knew of course. She and Puck would have permanent scars on their hearts after Baby Gate 2009-2010. One look at Beth had caused her to fall down a huge shame spiral that had practically left her a comatose shell of used and spent feelings. Santana and Blaine understood Puck's dramatic response as well, but they held a kinship the other Gleek's didn't have. It helped that they were all essentially the same person in different packaging.

Brittany felt her bottom lip trembling as the usually unflappable Puck was most definitely, certainly flapped. She thought he would be happier about little Jonah Puckerman being in the works. She looked to Rachel hesitantly, wondering if this had dampened Rachel's happiness. She sighed with relief when Rachel blipped info into her brain. She was still happy, but obviously concerned about Puck. Brittany waved as Rachel got to her knees and enveloped Puck in a hug before she transported them out of the facility with a gentle rush of wind.

"What the hell just happened?" Mercedes whispered, not willing to believe what she just saw. "Puck totally lost it."

"Rachel went to go make him feel better. She asked me to answer all of your questions about Jonah," Brittany explained.

"Who is Jonah?" Finn wondered curiously.

Artie, Mercedes and Blaine all rolled their eyes, but Sam actually furrowed his brow as he had trouble accessing the memory of the future, an image of a small ten year old boy with a Mohawk eventually swam into his brain and he sighed in relief. He wasn't ready to lose those memories of the future just yet.

"Rachel's pregnant," Santana sighed, accompanied by an exaggerated roll of her eyes. "Puck's freaking because of the whole Beth thing."

"Also he's freaking because of the whole living La Vida Could Die Any Minuto," Blaine explained further. "Everything he stood to lose before just DOUBLED. I would have fled the country by now."

"How could someone like Rachel let Puck knock her up? I mean, Rachel's smart about kind of a lot," Tina wondered in amazement. Mike elbowed her in the ribs and Tina had the good sense to turn an apologetic smile to Quinn, "Sorry, Q. No offense. You're smart too."

"She was _happy_," Quinn whispered, ignoring Tina's inadvertent jibe and accompanying apology. "Brittany, did Rachel plan this?"

"Yup," Brittany nodded. She felt Artie tugging her hand gently, which meant that her teammates with smaller brains (i.e., all of them), needed more explanations. "We figured it out back in Ohio. We knew that Rachel would only get stronger the closer Puckleberry got. And then we realized that even though she's pretty powerful on her own, if she got pregnant, she'd kind of be unstoppable."

"How on Earth does that make sense?" Kurt breathed in astonishment. "Aren't people that are with child supposed to take it easy?"

"Rachel's different," Brittany shrugged.

"So she planned it," Mike shook his head in disbelief.

"And didn't tell Puck about the planning," Quinn winced.

Blaine and Santana shared a look and Blaine gave a slight shrug, allowing Santana to give her opinion as she had known him longer. She smirked and said,

"He'll be fine. Rachel just has to remind him that she'll have bigger boobs and will be horny for like, seven months now."

* * *

"Noah?" Rachel whispered. "We're alone now."

Puck nodded as he had felt when they had blipped back into the physical realm. They hadn't gone far. Just the room in the underground complex that had been in Ohio less than an hour ago. He took deep measured breaths to calm himself, his hand reaching out and gripping Rachel's wrist tightly. His thumb began to slowly trace circles on the inside of her wrist as she cuddled close to him, her head resting on his shoulder, her voice low and warm as she hummed a simple melody that sounded suspiciously like "Sweet Caroline". Minutes passed quickly and finally Puck spoke,

"Why?"

"I saw him, you know. In the snow globe," Rachel said softly. "I saw you holding him right after he was born. Just a small little glimpse. And I felt so happy because you looked _so_ happy. And then I saw him again when I was going over Artie's visions. Just a small simple moment, where you were sleeping in this bed and he was cuddled up against you. My two boys with their matching silly hair. I knew it would be soon. I knew it would change everything. I'm sorry, but I was hesitant to tell you because I thought you would get a little spooked."

Puck swallowed thickly, his desperation and fear disappearing into the stratosphere and replaced with a heavier blanket of warmth and love as the images Rachel had seen were beamed directly into his head. He felt the tears standing in his eyes and couldn't help it when one leaked out of the corner of his eye. He didn't even have the machismo in him at that moment to wipe it away. He simply let it fall down his cheek and make its slow trek away.

"Say something, Noah," Rachel begged quietly.

"How do you know it's a boy?" Puck wondered, ignoring the way his voice cracked in the middle of the question.

"Silly goose, I _saw_ him," Rachel laughed. "And when Brittany and the other time travelers got back from the future, I saw it again times five. It would have been six, but the future immediately was forgotten by Finn."

"Everyone's good? In the future?" Puck furrowed his brow.

"Picture perfect," Rachel nodded.

"So we make it? This deal with the government…we're okay. No dying, no dismembering, we're _okay, _Sparky?" Puck demanded.

"Better than okay," Rachel nodded. She grinned at him and said, "Are you okay now?"

Puck threw his arms around her shoulders, gently tackling her to the bed. He kissed her lips with bruising force before moving and drifting down her neck, her collarbone, her chest. His thumbs pushed up her shirt and a kiss landed on her navel before he finally kissed her lower abdomen gently.

"Whaddup tiny little baby?" He smirked at Rachel's irrepressible giggle. "I'm really happy you're here little man. Really really fucking happy."

* * *

**Day Fifteen**

"We aren't training with you anymore, DEVIL WOMAN!"

Twelve teenagers grinned at Noah Puckerman's explosive declaration with nods of agreement. Sue Sylvester glared at them all, spending a few seconds trying to scare the life out of them with her expression alone. She felt a completely new emotion that she had never felt up until that moment in her life when all thirteen of them simultaneously rolled their eyes at her, save for Blaine, who chose to crinkle his eyebrows at her as if she were an escapee from a local mental institution. This was what failure felt like. She felt a shred of sympathy for the still locked up William Schuester, which quickly shriveled and died.

"I'll remind every single one of you miserable excuses of trainees that if it weren't for me and my brilliant and patented training techniques, you wouldn't have over 97% of the mediocre and average at best skills that you currently have!" Sue barked.

"You tried to blow us up," Mercedes reminded her evenly.

"And you nearly killed me!" Mike accused with very real indignation.

"You're still ALIVE aren't you?" Sue yelled back.

"Coach Sylvester, while you make very insane semi-valid points, my condition can't possibly allow me or the group enter into your incredibly exhausting and difficult training scenarios," Rachel explained gently, her words gracefully floating through the air in a soothing and surprisingly motherly gesture. "However, I think that if you would draw up a view proposals and bring them to Coach Bieste and Mr. Hummel, they can try to dilute the intensity of your plans and we can attempt them."

"FINE," Sue muttered angrily before stalking away from the dinner table the group had been lingering and chatting at.

"That was damn near brilliant, Rae," Tina high fived the girl.

"I think next time you should try to look wilting and weak and powerless," Kurt suggested evilly.

"Yeah, look like you're going to spew chunks or faint or something," Blaine nodded in agreement.

"Excellent use of the future Pucklebaby," Quinn nodded her agreement. "We get to keep Sylvester off of our backs for the next nine months."

"As long as she never finds out that Rachel is like, one thousand times more powerful knocked up," Sam agreed. He looked at Quinn thoughtfully. This morning had been the very first morning when he couldn't see the faces of Isabelle and Myra, the beautiful little girls that were _his_ in the future. He still felt that euphoric happiness that Finn was still feeling, but he couldn't remember why and he couldn't remember how. He grinned at Quinn and wondered, "You think all the girls will get stronger?"

"Speaking from experience, I mostly felt just ragey anger," Quinn muttered dryly. She poked at Sam's midsection playfully and whispered in his ear. "I think it'll be different the next time with you though."

Sam's grin grew even wider, although he couldn't exactly say why or how, he just got a jolt of super amazing happiness into his system. He gripped Quinn's hand and said, "Now that we got rid of Sylvester, can we do this date thing?"

"Disneyworld, right?" Mike clapped enthusiastically.

Rachel laughed and nodded. They had done three missions for General Kate Benson in the last two weeks and had used the rest of the time working on school work that Figgins had been sending to them daily. It was Saturday, and they were all bound and determined to have a work-free, school-free day. And since they could literally go _anywhere_ in the world in _zero time_, they had decided on a group date at Disney.

"Wait, Jesse's coming too!" Brittany announced.

"WHAT?" Santana yelled, she glared at Brittany, but couldn't maintain the angry expression as Brittany looked at her with a wealth of innocent hopefulness. She rolled her eyes and said, "Your meddling is going to get you in trouble someday, Britt-britt."

"No, I'm too smart to get in trouble."

* * *

**Day Thirty-Three**

Rachel and Puck had waited as long as conceivably possible before telling their various parental units of their impending bundle of joy. Rachel was experiencing morning sickness and the delightful addition of uncontrollable laser eyes and even more wildly uncontrollable swear words. She had sneezed the other day and the red laser beams had singed Sue Sylvester's tracksuit collar.

The group was backing her and Puck up and they had gathered in the underground facility's conference room. Mrs. Puckerman had promptly fainted. The larger black Mr. Berry had burst into happy AND sad tears and the little white Mr. Berry had tried to climb over the conference room table to strangle the life force out of Puck. Finn had helpfully picked him up off the table and had inadvertently dangled him in the air by the collar of his shirt as he kicked and screamed, looking very much like Rachel.

"That's where you get it from," Shelby couldn't help but smirk. "I've never been quite _that_ dramatic."

Rachel and Shelby sat alone at the conference table as the rest of the "meeting" had congregated towards the lunch that the kitchen had brought down. Puck was trying to stay away from the littler Mr. Berry AND his own mother who kept fainting whenever she looked at Rachel. Seriously, the woman hadn't ever been happier with him than she was at that moment, not even when he brought home his only A ever in the fourth grade. Burt Hummel was lecturing anyone who would listen that there were literally tons of condoms everywhere. And Santana was currently torturing Jesse about being a complete failure at trying to be the fire.

Just an average, everyday meeting for their crew of merry misfits. Shelby smiled at Rachel and was unsurprised that the usually (lately) euphoric girl only timidly smiled back. They had hit a road block in terms of their relationship. Rachel was incredibly hesitant to exchange more than pleasantries with her birth mother. Even though she had easily accepted the unconditional love that her teammates poured her way, the idea of Shelby even caring about her a fraction of what the other Gleek's cared for her was completely foreign and implausible.

"I'm very proud of you, Rachel," Shelby offered softly.

"Thank you," Rachel said politely. She smiled up at Puck, who grinned back at her before using Blaine as a human shield from the smaller Mr. Berry. "I'm proud of all of us. We've come a long way as a group and a team."

Shelby could only smile at her, although her eyes filled with a certain sadness. There seemed to be too much to talk through when it came to them. And Shelby could only hope that they have the chance before Rachel became a mother herself.

"YOU DEFILED MY BABY GIRL YOU INSUFFERABLE PIG BOY!"

Rachel's eyes widened and she cursed under her breath, "_Shit." _Before she felt Jonah's power taking over and lasers shouting the refreshment table's way, shattering a whole bottle of pop.

"Rach, I was going to drink that!" Finn called out in annoyance.

"Daddy, step away from Noah!" Rachel screeched as Noah tried to avoid death by strangulation.

* * *

**Day Forty-Two**

One by one, the Gleeks who had traveled to the future forgot. Immediately Finn. Later Sam. Mercedes forgot two days ago, she had been confused when she had a heart written in her diary with the name Elijah in it and upon showing it to Finn, she hadn't understood why he had grinned with tears in his eyes and he hadn't either. Blaine forgot that next morning, and Artie had only felt marginally superior.

But his memory was fading fast. He looked to Brittany as he worked on Calculus and she drew incredibly complicated diagrams of "future inventions she needed to upgrade Stubbs again". She had already taken the GED test and passed with flying colors, even if she had forgotten to put her name on the test. Rachel had passed as well, and Brittany loved her too much to accuse her of cheating and using the super brain power the two easily shared now. Brittany was currently working on courses to attain her bachelor's degree in engineering and Burt had proudly told her that she should have it completed in less than a year.

She of course had told him it would be three months, ten days and eleven hours to be more accurate.

"Britt-britt, baby?" Artie whispered.

"Hmmm?" Brittany smiled at him warmly, her lips turning up in an entirely contented fashion.

"I'm forgetting," Artie whispered.

"Forgetting what?" Brittany furrowed her brow. She saw the complete devastation in his eyes and she pouted as she realized what he was talking about. "No, Artie, don't forget…no one else remembers. I'll be all alone."

"Rachel remembers," Artie smiled sadly, unable to keep the tears from welling in his eyes.

"But I want _you_ to remember," Brittany said sadly. "You're so happy when you know that you'll be able to walk and that we're happy and someday we get to have a baby…just remember."

"I can't, I tried to remember as long as possible," Artie promised. "I'm really, really looking forward to it all."

"Me too," Brittany nodded slowly.

"Will you do me a favor?" Artie asked softly.

"Uh huh," Brittany nodded again.

"Will you remind me?" Artie wondered. "You've read the information that General Benson gave us. It's going to be so difficult getting my legs to work again. It's going to be painful and terrifying and I just want to know that it's going to work. Just remind me."

"Okay," Brittany agreed. She leaned forward and kissed his lips sweetly, pulling away and smiling at his face. "Hey Artie?"

"Umhmm?" he wondered dreamily.

"One day, you're going to walk again," Brittany said confidently.

Artie furrowed his brow, clearly not remembering, the lovely thoughts of the future completely gone now. He shrugged and said, "That sounds great, baby."

Brittany smiled sadly before nodding emphatically. "It really does sound great."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Thanks again for stopping by and reading. I hope you enjoyed this because I really liked writing this chapter. Next chapter, maybe Schue will finally consent to being released from his confinement?

Chapter 53 – "Stop In The Name of Schue"


	53. Chapter 53

I suck, I know. Real life is a bitch.

However, here is a new shiny chapter, so forget that you're mad at me and read it and feel the love I send to you through the crazy writing!

New Glee tomorrow! YAY!

The chapter title is taken from "Stop in the Name of Love". :D I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 53 – "Stop in the Name of Schue"_

_

* * *

Mentoring is a very difficult and often thankless task. 14 out of every 17 mentors often feel that they have made little to no difference in the lives that they touch. It's an understandable conclusion to jump towards when you're dealing with teenagers. Because it is basically an accepted theory in the scientific world that teenagers possess so many chemical imbalances that they literally take every suggestion thrown at them and do the exact opposite at every turn._

_If a mentor is truly lucky, the best they can hope for is that they live long enough to witness their former mentee's undergoing the same torture that they once dished out by the bucketful._

* * *

"Eagle Eye to Mamma Bear. Come in Mamma Bear."

"Sam, you are not on Top Gun, please refrain from filling my head with such silliness," Rachel sighed out loud as she and Puck surveyed the view from the hotel room that the Gleek's had commandeered for the day.

The view they currently had was that of Monte Carlo. They were twelve stories up and their room overlooked a beautiful bay where the servants of the rich and bored were currently docking the expansive and opulent yachts. The sun glittered off of the water as it slowly sank into the horizon. They had all longingly looked out at the beautiful city they had teleported to earlier in the day but had no opportunity to play, as the mission they had accepted from General Kate Benson earlier in the week had monopolized all of their time.

"Puckerman, your spawn is sucking all the fun out of Rae-rae," Sam pouted.

"Report please, Sammy," Artie demanded as he helped Brittany with her scribblings that she had deemed _important scenematics. _

The most important thing that Brittany and Rachel had discovered was the wonderful and useful combinations that they could figure out, blending the powers of the other Gleeks in a variety of successful ways with each successive mission that they had been on. It helped that Rachel could conjure every one of the other powers, save for Mercedes' image control.

That was a sore spot for both Rachel and Mercedes at the moment. They understood that Rachel gained access to the other powers if she truly felt a connection or felt loved by the other Gleek's. She could do anything they could do just as well as they could and blend anything together easily. However no one really understood why Mercedes was the lone holdout except for Puck. Puck knew it all came down to Finn.

He wasn't worried about _Rachel_ still having a thing for Finncredible Hulk. This was all Mercedes. Rachel wasn't the one holding up the process by refusing to acknowledge how much Mercedes loved her, because when it came down to it, Puck just knew that although Mercedes like Rachel a heck of a lot and respected her, that unconditional love that had been free flowing through the rest of the team was not there when Mercedes was concerned. He didn't have the brains Brittany and Rachel shared between them, but he also theorized that it was due to the fact that she had no shared genetics with the original powers. He didn't have that benefit either, but thankfully he was her reincarnated soulmate and the Puckerone all at the same time, so he didn't have to worry about connections. They were 1000% connected as far as he was concerned. But Mercedes wasn't. Not even close.

Which was why she was in the hotel room with Puck, Rachel, Brittany and Artie as the rest of the team was outside doing what they had to do to complete another of the their missions. She was currently projecting an image and sound of whatever the Gleeks out in the field were seeing, as Rachel beamed it directly to her.

Their mission? Three American teenage girls had been snatched while backpacking through Europe and were going to be sold that very night to the highest bidder at a human auction. This was probably one of the toughest missions they had been given thus far. Mostly it had been zipping into a location and zipping right back out with their human cargo.

General Benson hadn't had details or coordinates of the girls, just the knowledge that there would be a human auction in Monte Carlo that night, and that the CIA or FBI or whatever government agency that couldn't get the job done at the moment, had concluded that the girls would be at that auction.

"I don't like this," Puck whispered gruffly as Rachel leaned into him, placing her head against his chest. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her still perfect waist and pursed his lips, "I've got a bad feeling here, Sparky."

"I know, this is a lot more difficult than what we've previously dealt with, but we'll be okay," Rachel insisted softly. "We'll all be okay."

"I know. That tiny badass baby boy of mine makes you super powerful," Puck smirked arrogantly. It disappeared immediately and he shrugged, "Still nervous. I just hate being fucking nervous."

Artie shook at his place at the large oak meeting table in their room and Rachel closed her eyes as she intercepted his vision. Her eyes flew open in shock as Brittany quickly translated Artie's soothsaying. The blonde pushed Artie's chair towards Mercedes and called out an anxious order,

"Sam DOWN!"

Rachel stayed silent as she gripped Puck's hand and made her way to Mercedes as well. They connected hands and the quintet blipped from the hotel room just in time. Their feet were on solid, physical plane of existence ground again just as Sam touched in the sand under the dock landing that the other Gleek's were waiting under in anticipation of the start of their plan.

"What the hell, Sparkplug?" Santana furrowed her brow in confusion. "The plan was you keep your hot ass safe in the hotel room!"

Rachel shook her head and gripped Mercedes' hand tighter conveying the live feed of their hotel for the rest of the Gleek's. They watched with annoyed curiosity at first at their kick ass hotel. Their expressions quickly changed into horrified surprise as a flash of purple light swooped in a graceful arch towards the hotel, aiming directly at the twelfth floor and encasing what they correctly assumed was their former room. Former room because the moment it became encased in the purple light it melted. Concrete, steel and wood simply oozed down to a viscous puddle, leaving a gaping hole in the façade of the building.

"Holy shit," Blaine breathed. "What the fuck was that? That wasn't…Britt? Can machines do that?"

"No, I haven't invented anything like that ever and no one is smarter than me," Brittany carefully concluded.

"So if it wasn't a weapon that's a machine…"Kurt said slowly.

"There are other powers," Rachel concluded easily, taking a look to Brittany for confirmation. She could only nod.

"That sucks, I thought I was totally part of a baker's dozen special," Santana grumbled. "What's God thinking just handing these things out willy nilly?"

"We're going to need backup," Artie said carefully. He looked at Rachel and shrugged slowly and reluctantly reminded her, "You saw the vision, Rach. You must like, zip him here or something."

"I did," Rachel bit her lip, closing her eyes in annoyance. Before anyone could ask or dissuade her otherwise, she gripped Puck's hand and clued him in on her actions milliseconds before she enacted them.

A quick and intense burst of white light caused the other Gleek's to squeeze their eyes shut as wind whipped around them suddenly and violently. When they blinked their eyes open, they all looked between the new arrival, Artie and Rachel with perfectly identical masks of amazed incredulity.

William Schuester stood in front of them with a reluctant yet still defiant expression on his face. He glared openly at Rachel, who looked back at him with a careful, emotionless mask on her usually expressive face.

"I didn't sign up to be a whore for the government," Schue said evenly.

"Watch your tone, Schue," Puck practically growled, squeezing Rachel's hand as he felt his skin heat up. It was like the old soul that had walked the Earth with Schuester hundreds of years ago never wanted to stop punching the ex-choir director in the face.

"You'd think you'd be happy to be let out of your box," Quinn arched an appropriately annoyed eyebrow.

"You would think that you guys would be grown up enough to not get in over your heads for a couple of government perks," Schue shot back.

"Because you're so grown up," Sam laughed. "You signed up for the government when you were like, one hundred and four years old."

"Not exactly a spring chicken," Kurt scoffed.

"And we're not doing this for the _perks_," Tina argued.

"We're doing this for Artie," Mike said with a fair amount of pride. "The people we're helping don't deserve to be hurt and we're helping them."

"Only a fetishy sicko would want three perfectly nice girls being sold to some fetishy sicko," Santana shrugged. She smirked and leveled her best bitch face at her former teacher. "If the old man sweater vest fits, then _wear it_, Leatherface."

"Mr. Schuester," Rachel said evenly, and the rest of the Gleek's dropped their immediate plans to further verbally harass the original Immortal. Her tone meant business.

"_Yes_, Rachel?" Schue said with the practiced annoyed ease that he had thrown her way constantly since he had taken over the Glee club.

"Please don't make me _force_ you," Rachel said with quiet strength.

Her tone alone made Santana, Blaine and Puck share a quick look that somehow managed to combine fear, lust and respect. Schue's annoyance slipped a bit as he stared back at Rachel appraisingly, his eyes drifted towards the smallest of baby bumps that was barely visible on her lower of abdomen. They all knew that with Rachel's current state there was no way he would be able to stave off her attempts at mind control.

_For once, please do what is right, Mr. Schuester_.

Her voice in his head was still alien to him. He had spent so much energy and time blocking the original Mind's voice out of his brain. To have that lilting comfort in his brain filled him with a warmth that he was beginning to both despise and look forward to. It filled something up inside that had been missing for nearly four centuries.

…He **hated** it.

"What am I supposed to do?" he asked gruffly.

"Take bullets, hopefully," Tina smirked evilly, hoping that her physical pain would lessen if her great grand ancestor had to feel the burn too.

"Do you know about the other powers?" Brittany demanded, unable to keep the harshness out of her tone as she stared at Mr. Schuester with open dislike.

"What?" Schue's brow furrowed as he looked at Brittany with familiar curiosity. He knew that the girl had inherited the powers of the Stone, but he had spent far too many moments having his brain fried from her words and statements in the past. He looked to Rachel and Puck for explanations and demanded, "What's she talking about?"

"We just saw something…someone, turn our hotel room into a pile of goo," Puck gruffly explained before his annoyance at Schuester's confused face made him rage inwardly to the point where no more words would leave his mouth.

"You've been around for like half a century, it stands to reason that you might know something about other people having powers besides us," Blaine continued Puck's thoughts effortlessly.

"Or you know, felt them up cause you're a pedo-whore," Santana mumbled while rolling her eyes.

"This is really not good, guys," Schue shook his head slowly.

"Did he always use to say stuff that was kinda obvious and annoying?" Finn whispered to Mercedes, who could only snicker under her breath.

"Incoming!" Sam said, looking to the sky.

"Got it!" Quinn threw up a shield for them as the purple light streaked through the sky towards them again. The bubble held but the effort she put forth was tremendous as the ground trembled beneath them. She looked back at Rachel in a panic, if another round came at them, she would need backup.

Rachel nodded at her and did one better. She gripped Puck's hand with a sudden ferocity as she squeezed her eyes shut. Schue looked at her in wonder, recognizing her intense concentration, not from the original Mind but from the one and only Rachel Berry. She looked as if she were taking one small moment before letting loose with a ridiculously strong, clear belting note. He found himself waiting for the glory note, and instead he saw the bright light that had brought him here and the gush of wind.

A young man looked absolutely shocked and astounded to see his surroundings change so suddenly. He brought his hands up for an offensive strike when suddenly he doubled over, clutching at his stomach as he wretched the contents of his stomach onto the sand at his feet. From what they could tell, he was around their age, Caucasian, with sandy hair that fell evenly around his head in a bowl cut fashion. His clothes were plain, simple blue jeans and a gray hooded sweatshirt.

"Disinpirating SUCKS!" Blaine laughed. "OW!"

Finn scowled at Blaine after he smacked his step-brother's boy friend against the back of his head with a portion of his strength.

"I'm going to have to read the books again, aren't I?" Blaine whispered to Kurt, who only nodded with an amused smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Who _are_ you?" Rachel demanded of the still vomiting boy. She wrinkled her nose in disgust as her stomach was still easily upset by certain smells. Now she knew the morning sickness would rear its ugly head with just sounds.

"Who are you working for?" Puck demanded.

"Why is your hair so _stupid_?" Santana sneered at the young man's ridiculous bowl cut hair style. "Seriously, I thought they stopped making flowbees?"

Rather than answer any one of the millions of questions the Gleek's could throw at him, the man who had been intent on melting their hotel room and their liason spot under the pier simply held one hand up, placed it against his chest where his heart lay and as Rachel took a step forward with the orders on her lips for him to stop, a burst of purple light left the palm of his hand and went right into his chest, killing himself instantly.

Santana flinched and screamed, "Jesus, take a joke, bowl cuts are totally fashionable!"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Sooooo...new developments here. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for all the love and the pokes and prods for me to write another chapter more promptly. I'll try to be a nice and good fanfic writer from here on out.

Next up...Chapter 54 - "Why you being a dickhead for? You're just melting up the situation."


	54. Chapter 54

Hello to the best readers on the face of the planet! I'm still on a post Regionals high. I enjoyed the episode, all due to Rachel Berry. She rocks socks off, yes?

So. we are faced with yet another hiatus of epic proportions. I will attempt, insanely, to get to Chapter 75 by the time that Glee comes back! Sound good to you? I hope so!

The chapter title lyric is from Kate Nash's "Dickhead". She's British and awesome (But really, aren't most British people awesome?). I hope that you enjoy!

**

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 54 – "Why You Being a Dickhead For? You're Just Melting Up the Situation."_

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_

_In North America alone, 127 million sets of 500 piece puzzles are made and sold. 127 million various pictures of kittens, cartoon characters, locomotive trains, and the ever popular cartoon kitten driving a locomotive train. Many a grandparent will tell you that approximately 85% of these mass produced puzzles are missing a piece or two._

_This parallels so many situations that we come upon in the fantastic journey called life. There are people who are missing vital parts of what would make them a perfect, fully functioning human being: those without impulse control;, those without a brain to mouth filter; those who are tone deaf and blissfully unaware. There are the well-lived lives that were just missing that one small thing: one more child; just a slightly bigger, newer house; just one more trip to Disney Land. _

_And then we have our brave heroes. They have fire, movement, strength, invulnerability, water, intelligence, foresight, vision and control. And yet there are still things that they are missing that their gifts and powers can't quite provide for._

_

* * *

_

"Tina?"

"On it, Rae," Tina scrunched her nose up as her eyes squeezed shut rather than look at the mess that their attacker had made of his own body. She simply held her hands out, her fingertips brushing against Rachel's as both girls worked quickly to heal the damage the young man had inflicted on himself.

"Why are you saving him?" Schue demanded in annoyance. He stared in absolute disgust as the rest of his Glee Club and Blaine huddled around Tina and Rachel with looks of concern on their faces. He looked down at the rapidly dying_ kid _ and one brief flash of recognition stole across his countenance. He swallowed rapidly and brought the easy exasperation and contempt back to the surface.

The former Spanish teacher furrowed his brow with angry disgust and reminded them moodily, "He tried to melt you all a few minutes ago. Let him on the sand, go and finish the job you guys came to do and then we can all go back home."

"Shut it, Schue!" Puck ordered as he gripped Rachel's shoulder as she worked in tandem with Tina to bring the mysterious young man.

"Did you ever think, Pervy McPerverson that there might be more of these bad hair freaks out there? And that we should probably try to get information out of this one before another one shows up and tries to kill us?" Santana snidely informed him. She patted Quinn's shoulder soothingly as the girl was seriously close to upchucking at the sight of the kid's blood.

"Got him," Tina sighed as the mysterious attacker took in a sharp breath, although he was still clearly unconscious. She glared openly at the red raw skin that had reformed over his chest where the shirt had disintegrated. "I hope that REALLY FUCKING HURTS you unconscious mother fucker!"

"Good job, sweetie," Mike smiled at her as he pulled her into a standing position.

"We've got to move," Rachel shot a look to Artie as Puck helped her to her feet as well.

"Fifty feet up the shore," Brittany pointed in the direction Artie's Latin prophecies had indicated.

Sure enough, there was a slow moving, massive yacht approaching the shore, looking opulent and ominous at the same time. Mercedes squinted and sure enough, on the deck were at least ten heavily armed men, ready to strike down anyone who dare get in the way of their human delivery. Unconsciously, she immediately provided them with a visual cover, and she smiled at Quinn, who still looked green around her gills, but her hands were glowing a beautiful shimmering blue nonetheless.

"What's the game plan? Blip onto the boat?" Blaine wondered.

"Shooters inside too," Mercedes answered as she blinked her vision back to normal. The x-ray ability was a very strange and difficult thing to switch on and off.

"I can stall the engines, they're electric," Kurt looked to Rachel curiously. She nodded and he concentrated silently on his task. "I can get the anchor to drop too."

"We need to draw the fire power out here so that Blaine can go inside and get them," Rachel said with surprising softness. Tina shrugged and even managed a small smile when Mike placed a tender kiss on her temple. Slowly and reluctantly, Rachel turned her gaze to Mr. Schuester. Puck's arm was now thrown over her shoulder in a very territorial fashion, but her large unblinking eyes stared at their Glee director beseechingly. "They're innocent girls, Mr. Schuester. With mothers and fathers and friends and family who miss them very much. They don't deserve this."

"No one deserves this," Puck clarified helpfully.

"Fine," Schue spat out bitterly. He let out an exasperated sigh before stalking in the direction of the boat, not even bothering to wait for Tina as she rushed to keep up with him.

The bullets began zinging through the air, almost noiselessly, save for the slight whistle that came from the displaced air. Tina dodged the first volley, and gaped at Schue as he simply kept walking straight for the gunmen, his gait only slightly jerky as the bullets that were lodging themselves violently into his body obeyed physics and kept trying to push him backwards or to the ground. Both Tina and Schue could see the men on the boat panicking as they began shouting in a foreign language that Brittany probably would know.

Tina's guffawing at her teacher/ancestor was definitely a mistake that the gunmen took to their advantage as a bullet found its painful way into her thigh. The intense burning and ripping of muscles stopped her in her tracks as she howled out expletives. Quickly her body's responsive healing took over and the pain of the gunshot paled in comparison to the pain that exploded in every cell in her body as whatever it was that healed her did its necessary tasks.

"FUCKING MOTHER FUCKING FUCKER!" she gasped for air as the pain overwhelmed any other thought in her brain. She whined and looked at Schue as another bullet found its way into his right bicep, spurting a few droplets of blood before expelling back outwards. "How in the ever fucking hell are you not in pain? Teach me something useful you asstastic dickface!"

For his part, Schue suppressed the eye roll that he so desperately wanted to deliver as he recognized vaguely the pain that Tina was experiencing. It had been a while. He managed to put on his best Glee director tone and told her helpfully, "You'll get used to it."

"Fuck you," Tina spat out defiantly.

"You get used to it. And you learn that the pain is powerful and you can turn it into something else," Schue insisted with a surprising amount of patience, almost sounding like the man who had urged her to take on a solo to help her with her stutter a million and a half years ago.

"What does yours turn into? Asshattery?" Tina grumbled as they began walking towards the ship again.

Schue smirked at her and shrugged with a bemused arch of his eyebrow. "I guess some of that. But mostly it's just rage."

With that, he took off at a run, leaving Tina in the dust as he sprinted towards the ship that was still firing off buckets of live ammunition at the twosome. Tina's thigh was still burning but she did her best to catch up but stopped dead in her tracks when Schue jumped from the shore into the bay where the ship was docking. His familiar head of curly hair bobbed to the surface and he was zipping up the anchor that had been dropped earlier. He was on the deck of the ship in mere moments and Tina couldn't see what exactly he was doing. Her jaw dropped however, when she saw the first gunman being upended over the side of the boat, limbs flailing in a pathetically humorous way.

"No shit!" Tina breathed out as another gunmen joined his brother in the bay. She shook her head in disbelief and rushed towards the ramp that the ship was lowering to the docks. Her speed was back as she darted upwards, adrenaline kicking in after her healing, giving her strength and speed that would have been physically impossible moments earlier. She was a tiny battering ram and the armed men that were intent on deboarding the boat were easily pushed off the sides of the ramp into the shimmering water below.

The Gleek's watched from afar in astonishment as the two immortals began fighting with such ferocity that the original plan of distracting the dangerous opposition quickly turned into throwing the rest of the competition into the water.

"If I can get over there, I can keep those douchebags in the water," Santana murmured thoughtfully to Rachel.

Shots still rang out through the air and Artie shuddered and turned a disapproving glance Santana's way. He shook his head slowly and said, "If you go over there you can also get loads of fun new holes in your body. What's that thing you say, 'Cedes?"

"Hell to the no?" Mercedes offered helpfully.

Artie reached over and gripped Santana's hand and squeezed. "Hell to the no," he insisted with surprising strength of conviction.

"Someone has to go over there…" Rachel whispered in a distracted, unfocused way.

"What do you mean? Let Schue take the bullets and Tina kick the ass, we'll stay here until they tell us its clear," Puck insisted gruffly.

"He's…he's losing control," Rachel revealed while shaking her head, her eyes widening with the horror of what was going through Schue's brain. The violence wasn't something she was used to, as fiercely protective and formerly bully-ish as Puck was, his thoughts were never so dark and full of vitriolic anger. She was overwhelmed with the very unguarded feeling of Schue's actions spiraling out of control and she knew she had to stop it as she gripped onto Puck's hand and all of the Gleek's soon felt that familiar feeling of Rachel transporting them and the still comatose unknown bowlcut boy to a different destination.

Their bodies found metaphorical ground again as they reappeared on the deck of the yacht. An incredibly powerful blue force field went up around them and Tina as Rachel set the first one and Quinn added her own power to it shortly afterwards. Tina furrowed her brow in confusion and the rest of the Gleeks turned their gaze away from her, to Mr. Schuester.

The man hadn't even blinked at the materialization of his Glee club or the force field bubble protecting them. He was so caught up in a desperate struggle with one of the remaining gunmen, his hands on the rifle as they fought for possession of the deadly weapon. Schue brought his elbow up and a sickening crunch echoed throughout the air as it found its target in the gunman's nose with such force that blood immediately spurted from it.

"Gross," Quinn gagged, and the shield sagged just a little bit.

The force field dropped completely when Schue obtained complete control over the gun and pointed it at the broken-nosed, bleeding and unarmed man.

"NO!" Rachel screamed as the shield dropped. She held up her hand that wasn't gripping Puck's fiercely and quickly clenched it into a fist. A popping sound echoed all around the yacht and disappeared into thin air. Rachel glared at her teacher openly. "We don't _kill_ people, Schuester!"

"Tell that to the fifteen bullets I just took!" Schue yelled back immediately. He turned back to the man he had been willing to completely wipe off the face of the planet moments before and took his momentary confusion as an opportunity to punch his face brutally and repeatedly. His fists were moving so fast and with such power that the face in front of him was becoming increasingly unrecognizable as the beaten man swayed on his feet.

"ENOUGH!" Rachel growled, her eyes narrowed and brown quickly faded to red and Schue barely had time to duck as the laser shot towards him and clipped his ear.

"Fuck!" Schue hissed in pain.

"HA! I knew it still hurt," Tina smirked in victory as Mike patted her shoulder in agreement.

"So tell me, little Miss Rachel Berry, how do you expect to _survive_ if you're not willing to kill these guys who would happily lodge a bullet in your brain?" Schue demanded.

"We can defend ourselves in less violent ways," Rachel insisted strongly.

And almost immediately, fate decided to step in and give them the opportunity to show their choir director a thing or two when the door leading to the lower decks opened and three men came bursting out. Sam picked up one by the collar and literally flew him off the side of the boat, while Santana pulled the ocean upwards to meet another of the potential attackers. Puck was about to step forward and take care of the last man, but surprisingly Kurt and Brittany beat him to it, _badly_.

Brittany stomped on the man's foot and Kurt ineffectively pushed at the guy's shoulder, and although Kurt wasn't a weak person, he was by no means strong enough to knock the serious bruiser off of his balance. The man turned from Brittany to glare at Kurt openly and Kurt had the good sense to come down off of his supporting Rachel's stance on less violent means as his left eyebrow slowly raised and a look of apprehension flittered through his eyes. He swallowed and looked behind the man who could potentially murder him via headlock and focused on the light fixture behind him.

The electricity poured out an incredibly fast rate and the light exploded and startled the future murderer of Kurt, before a few sparks shot his way and may have been helped a little by Puck as they found a home on the attacker's head and quickly worked at lighting the man's hair on fire. With a tortured scream the man on fire ran for the edge of the boat and threw himself in the water.

Blaine sidled by Kurt and poked an authoritative finger into his side.

"Don't do that again, crazy boy," Blaine said as calmly as possible. He then looked to Puck who shrugged helplessly as he was clearly in the same boat when it came to _trying_ to protect what was precious to them. "I'll be right back with our cargo, yeah? Finn, help do the heavy lifting."

"Let's get out of here," Rachel nodded in agreement. She tried to avoid looking at a gloating Schuester but found it difficult as he ambled up to stand directly in front of her. She looked up with a glare and found that very familiar look of superiority on the much older man's face. She couldn't help but snap, "What in the hell do you want you…_asshole_!"

"I love my baby boy," Puck mumbled appreciatively.

"So how is that completely non-violent way working out for you?" Schue wondered.

"If you don't have anything constructive to say, don't say _anything_," Rachel ordered.

"I do have something constructive," Schue insisted smugly. He looked at all the other Glee's as Blaine and Finn popped back into existence. "Tomorrow we all start non-lethal combat training. I'll see you at 9 am sharp. Wear sneakers."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So we are about to embark on another story arc, as most of you already figured out. I really hope you enjoy it, because I had a lot of fun planning it. I'll see you all very soon with...

Chapter 55 - "It Was Always Schue. Blink Back to Let Me Know."


	55. Chapter 55

Hi! Happy Magical Leprechaun Day! Long time no see, huh? It's weird to be posting so quickly again. We're 20 away from 75. Woohoo!

The lyrics to the chapter title are from Panic! At the Disco's song "Always" off of their new album "Vices and Virtues". Thanks Crystal!

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Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 55 – "It Was Always Schue. Blink Back to Let Me Know."_

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_When someone does something of a questionable nature that may borderline on slightly evil or soulless, they will fall into one of three categories._

_**One.**__100% Evil laughter because you could not care less about the future repercussions of your questionable actions.__ This reaction is surprisingly the most pure and true reaction. You are a person who owns up to your evil and embraces what many others shy away from. It is exceptionally easier for others to deal with the repercussions of your actions if you fall into this category. Most of the people who fall into this category are under the age of five, however, so the questionable and evil actions are not incredibly impressive._

_**Two.**__Mysterious gloating and evasive maneuvering around the truth.__ 1 out of every 87 evil-doers or shady characters fall into this subset. If you fall into the subset, congratulations, you are completely mediocre. This category contains people who do things as mundane as shoplifting, leaving the toilet seat up, refusing to recycle and letting the elevator door slide shut right before another passenger can rush on. However, this category also contains the most heinous crimes known to man. It's a fine line humans walk between misdemeanors and absolute horror._

_**Three**__. __You have no idea what you have done, a.k.a. completely oblivious__. This is the most dangerous of all the categories. It doesn't take a smart person to figure out why._

* * *

"AGAIN, from the top!"

Thirteen teenagers began arguing and complaining very loudly at the man standing in front of them in their underground training facility. They had been at their training every day for six hours a day for the last week. Conditioning was the top priority and was also the hardest thing to do. Sure until a few months ago they had been well rehearsed and conditioned to do Glee choreography, but running around stage, hand raising and fist pumping only took you so far in combat training.

"Mr. Schuester, if you were half as dedicated to our Glee rehearsals as you are to this particular endeavor, we might have won Regionals," Rachel said flippantly.

"Yeah, and you might have had only one Glee club member," Mike joked, smiling and jerking his head in Rachel's direction.

"Definitely," Puck agreed rubbing at his shoulder in annoyance. Rachel rolled her eyes at him and he scoffed playfully, "Sparky, if Glee had made me this sore and tired and miserable I wouldn't have touched it with a ten foot pole."

"You wouldn't have touched something with a ten-foot pole? You've touched every girl in this room anyway," Mercedes snickered.

"Fuck off," Rachel grumbled.

"Seriously, hot," Santana mumbled. She held up her fist to Puck and bumped it against his own. "Good work there with the impregnating. She's hot when she swears."

"Try dealing with the lasers," Puck waggled an eyebrow.

"Enough! Capoeira groups," Schue ordered tersely.

"Awwwwww, I don't want to dance fight, it stinks and I'm tired," Brittany whined.

Quinn's eyebrows shot up sharply and she gave Schue a questioning look. Because if Brittany was complaining about physical activity, then there had certainly reached a breaking point of some kind. Brittany was always like the Energizer bunny. She had enough stamina and energy to power small towns. Even _Coach Sylvester_ had not found the limits to Brittany's physical energy.

"Isn't it lunch time?" Quinn asked helpfully. Schue rolled his eyes and she knew that it was only 10:30 in the morning. Quinn was not deterred however and she reminded him coolly, "We still have our three hour block of school time to do today and we have to check on…bowl cut kid."

And indeed, bowl cut kid had been the name the Gleek's had settled on about their latest prisoner. The mysterious super-powered teenager that had tried to murder them all via a mysterious acidic melting light, still lay comatose in the nurse's station under lock and key. Rachel had tried to access his thoughts, but there weren't any, and the community's medical team had concluded that the young man was brain dead.

Rachel still tried every day though, insisting that she felt a buzzing…a vibrating from the young man that indicated he was still there, just…broken. She and Tina attempted to heal him twice a day, but ran into the same problem that they ran into with Artie. With both of them the damage was intensely severe. With Artie's the damage was so old that their current healing techniques gave no results. With bowl cut kid, the damage was to his brain. A second in the brain was like five years to any normal muscle or tear.

Yet they still tried because they all felt as if the mysterious young man held answers that they would desperately need someday. One person couldn't have possibly tracked them down to another country while they were on a covert mission. Bowl cut kid had to have friends. And if he had tried to kill them, it was only common sense to assume that his friends would try to kill them as well.

General Benson had been briefed of the situation and agreed to hold off on approaching them with missions for a week so that they could get a better understanding of the situation and hopefully get some sort of intel out of bowl cut kid, who she had referred to as a hostile. She had thankfully ignored Blaine and Tina going into hysterics about her terminology as soon as she had heard the word "Buffy" and had asked Rachel quite politely to blip her back to her office until she was needed.

"How in the hell do any of you expect to be ready to face another attacker?" Schue demanded impatiently. "We've only been at this for a week. Are any of you closer to being about to protect yourselves or each other without relying on fire, water or sheer mind control?"

A few grumbled no's and whatever's were muttered while Brittany simply furrowed her brow and calmly disputed,

"I know more about physics than any one that ever lived. I read a combat manual this morning while I was waiting for Artie to peel my morning banana for me. I think I've got this covered guys."

"Sure, sure, you know everything," Schue shook his head with mild amusement. "You should all stop obsessing with fixing that kid's head and taking the easy way out."

"You sound like Coach Sylvester," Finn said in confusion. "She told me I was taking the easy way out when I microwaved a bag of popcorn yesterday."

"I hardly think that Tina and I are taking the _easy_ way out," Rachel disputed.

"Seriously, this healing others shit sucks, and you'd know that if you ever learned how to do it," Tina sneered. "But you didn't, so you can't because you're selfish and quite possibly still sort of evil."

"And I bet I could totally kick your ass right now," Brittany insisted, calmer than ever. "I don't like making bets, because the last time that I had to eat fifteen oranges in twenty minutes."

"Okay," Schue crinkled his eyes in all too familiar bemused confusion.

"Okay," Brittany agreed.

She walked towards him happily and before Schue could say or do anything, his legs were sweeped out from underneath him and Brittany had her foot on his windpipe.

"See? I'm better than Chuck Norris now," Brittany explained helpfully.

"And I think that means we're totally done here," Santana clapped her hands together happily. She wrapped her arms around Brittany's shoulders and cooed, "You did such a good job, Brit-Brit."

"We are NOT done here," Schue gasped for air as he struggled to stand.

"We **are** done here," Rachel insisted strongly. She narrowed her eyes at Schue and couldn't help the victorious smile that slowly turned her lips upwards as she concentrated for one small second before a rush of wind in their training space indicated that she had brought a visitor.

"Hi General Benson!" Brittany said cheerily.

Their government liason actually widened her eyes in astonishment as Brittany's usually happy greeting was parroted by the rest of the team eagerly. Rachel's smile was a full grin now as she turned towards the General eagerly.

"You had mentioned some research that you had wanted to go over. Please brief Mr. Schuester while we escape," Rachel giggled as Puck pulled on her hand as they all made their quick and eager get-away from their training.

Schue glared at his former Glee club as they left, and Kate Benson could do no more than smirk at his reaction. He turned his glare her way and she shrugged.

"You never would have made it to a higher rank than private in the Army, Mr. Schuester," she explained almost patiently.

"Tell me about it."

* * *

"How's bowl cut kid?" Santana wondered curiously as she breezed into Puck and Rachel's room in the underground facility that they used very much like a dormitory during the week. On the weekends they would venture up to the community's main house and visit with family, but ever since Rachel had integrated the two buildings, they had been living in their downstairs rooms. More specifically, all thirteen of them had been spending way too much time in Puck and Rachel's room.

"Same," Tina reported from hers and Mike's place by the desk where they had been finishing a homework assignment that Bieste had given them earlier in the week.

"How's the research?" Santana smiled over at Brittany and Artie, who were reading a book at different speeds. Brittany was leaning over and swiftly pushing through pages with incredible speed while Artie steadfastly read at a normal rate.

"Good," Artie shrugged.

"Boring!" Blaine announced as he popped up from behind Rachel and Puck on the bed, having apparently been trying to nap there alongside Kurt, both boys lying horizontally across Puck and Rachel's admittedly large bed. He gestured for Santana to join them and admitted, "Much better now that you're here. Let's see how red we can make Kurt blush."

"Oh hell yeah, I bet I can make him blush harder than a French whore sucks," Santana promised.

"Language, Santana," Rachel warned. "The baby has ears already."

"Yeah, and he also has cuss words that he forces out of your mouth every couple of minutes in a _totally hilarious_ way," Santana reminded her helpfully.

"Shit," Rachel put a hand up to her mouth in annoyance.

"Your daddy's favorite little dude!" Puck pretended to high-five Rachel's small baby bump.

"OH!" Rachel gasped.

"What? I didn't high five you that hard!" Puck disputed quickly, immediately nervous.

"_Schuester_," Rachel whispered.

"He's kind of easy to beat up," Brittany offered.

"His hair smells like pina colada and not in a good way," Mercedes nodded.

"He totally needs to get some like in the worst way," Blaine shrugged. "It's probably what's making his hair smell."

"He's been hiding something from me," Rachel clarified. "Something since that day in Monte Carlo. He just had a thought while talking to General Benson. It just jumped out of me."

"Please tell me he's not going to do it with General Benson," Kurt gasped.

"Wanky," Santana waggled an eyebrow at Blaine and Puck.

"Debatable," Artie put in his prophetic two cents.

"We're going to take a little virtual trip," Rachel announced.

"To the mall?" Quinn asked happily. "I want to buy shoes."

"Also hair goop," Finn suggested helpfully.

"No, we're going to Paris, France," Rachel said calmly.

"Ohhhh! French shoes!" Quinn squealed.

"French…hair goop?"

Rachel smiled at her friends and dramatically revealed, "Paris, France. 1941."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So, road(?) trip? Misfit Toy Hero Style of course. I really doubt Finn is going to get that hair goop though. I hope everyone has a lovely Saint Patrick's Day! I'm off to get my green beer on. (beer is gross, can we have green champagne instead?) See you either tomorrow or Saturday with...

Chapter 56 – "Come Sell Me Out, Bury Me, Bury Me."


	56. Chapter 56

Happy Saturday, everyone!

Here is yet another departure. I hope you enjoy it because it was kind of being difficult while I was writing. Either that or I was just being super lazy!

The chapter title lyric is taken from 30 Seconds to Mars "The Kill". Awesome, awesome band.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 56 – "Come Sell Me Out, Bury Me, Bury Me"_

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_There are gossamer moments in life where we make well-meant excuses for pain, suffering and death, especially when trying to make a person feel better or assuage their guilt. _

_The goldfish was very old and ready to move on to goldfish heaven, you didn't overfeed it._

_We'll all be happier after the divorce, this isn't because you're a bad child._

_Yes, that mailman did come out of nowhere, you're going to be a good driver someday._

_There are gossamer moments in life where we lie. And one of the greatest mysteries in the universe is if the lies do anyone any good at all._

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_

**Paris, 1941**

"I thought that Paris would be…nicer," Sam whispered to Quinn as they all stood in the holographic that Mercedes and Rachel were working on together.

If any of the visiting Gleek's had been expecting a lovely and entertaining trip through gay Paris, they were sorely disappointed with the empty, desolate streets and dark, depressing city skyline. Everyone looked to Rachel and Brittany for answers and were surprised when Puck was the one to explain.

"Hitler invaded a year ago," Puck said gruffly. "There's a curfew, and Jew's have to go around with like, labels on them and people are getting sent away and never coming back and its really fucking scary."

"Wow," Kurt breathed.

"Yeah, I know some shit," Puck said proudly. "I'm not just walking sex on a stick people, I read."

"Yeah, but I thought you could only read porn?" Brittany admitted.

"I _like_ to read porn, but I _can_ read lots of other stuff," Puck clarified helpfully.

"Can we please stop talking about porn and start focusing on what's in front of our faces?" Rachel demanded authoritatively. "And before everyone interrupts yet again, yes, Mercedes and I are showing you something that I may or may not have stolen from Mr. Schuester's head. I have once again used our images to fill out the cast of characters and removed foreign languages and accents so that Finn can easily follow along."

"That's awesome, Rach! Thanks!" Finn grinned.

"I like sexy French accents," Blaine pouted.

"Oh really?" Kurt raised an amused eyebrow.

"Wankalicious," Santana squeezed Kurt's side. She coughed into her hand obnoxiously, "French maid outfit."

"I'm not a _cross dresser_, Santana," Kurt hissed at her.

"You'd be sexier as a cross dresser," Brittany assured him.

"Please start the story," Quinn begged Rachel and Mercedes.

"NO MORE INTERRUPTIONS!" Rachel ordered, _literally_. The more rambunctious Glee members, including Puck, found that no words would leave their mouths due to the control Rachel held over them. She grinned happily and threw a warning look at Puck, who was already busting through her orders and making obnoxious groaning sounds. "On with the show…"

* * *

The streets of Paris were quiet, with the frightened citizens that remained in the Nazi occupied city tucked as safely as they could in their homes. Every day for the last year, the Germans had tried their damndest to demoralize the citizens of Paris, they had driven hundreds of thousands out of the city already. If Parisians were miserable, they would have no spirit left to start an uprising. No uprising meant smooth sailing for the Germans.

William Schuester, although he went by a different name then, sulked amongst the shadows of the empty streets of Paris, looking ragged, dangerous, and certainly up to nothing good. His eyes shifted warily along the way, intent on making sure that he was alone and unwatched. It would do him no favors to be caught by a Hun. He had lived for hundreds of years at that point, and been through countless wars. War was hell no matter what, but this one seemed especially rough.

Will was already quite disillusioned. One didn't really have to live more than one lifetime to understand that life was one big ball of hurt and despair. So when you had already lived a handful of lifetimes, you didn't often see the good in people.

But there was one thing at the moment that was stopping him from giving up completely on humanity. One girl, really. She looked an awful lot like a girl that Will had been searching for the last few centuries. That one beautiful, very taken girl that he had left behind and subsequently spent most of his unlimited time on Earth searching for.

Life was ironic and Will _hated _irony.

"Hello Will."

Will smiled at the soft, gorgeous tone of her voice. "Hello. How are you this lovely, calm evening in Paris, Cheri?"

"You know very well that this work isn't lovely. Paris is a huge pile of shit at the moment," the small brunette said softly. "I must admit though that your idea of the American Underground Railroad was inspired."

"Are you finally admitting that American's are superior?" Will teased.

"Never," she promised. "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Name it," Will said before he could stop the words from coming out of his mouth. He couldn't help himself. He loved seeing that smile. He hadn't seen it in so very long.

It had only taken him forty years on the Earth to know that reincarnation was very real. He had run away from the settlement in Massachusetts and found himself in the southern colonies of America. He had an unfortunate run in with an obnoxious ten year old who was clearly the reincarnation of the original Ocean power. The child had been fishing and had found unbelievable joy in it, as if experiencing something incredible and yet strangely familiar at the same time. Will had never been so annoyed in all his life. It was the first time he regretted not being able to succumb to death.

From that point forward, he had the most uncanny ability to run into the newly reincarnated versions of his former friends and powers. The Stone in Philadelphia during the Revolutionary War. The Soothsayer in California during the Gold Rush. As generations passed, the powers became more concentrated, appearing side by side and aligning as the moon and sun aligned. But the Fire and the Mind never reappeared.

Which was why his little French Jewess was so very fascinating to him. She looked just like the Mind. So much more than any of the other powers' reincarnations had looked. She was a lovely, smart and fiercely independent young woman who was only trying to do the right thing in a very wrong world.

Time passed in the desolate gray Paris, and Will worked covertly to help his only friend in Paris. One day, they were stealthily bringing in crates of food, jars and cans that Will had pilfered from stores in order to sustain the people that they were trying to funnel out of Paris. He hadn't known what he had been thinking at the time, but when a glass jar fell and broke…he had scrambled to clean it up instead of letting the girl he was increasingly becoming smitten with do it.

The glass sliced into his skin easily and blood seeped from the cut.

"Will! You're bleeding!" she exclaimed, gripping his hand in hers.

He couldn't help but flinch at her touch, then close his eyes as the very familiar feeling of his regenerative powers took effect. He heard her gasp as the skin closed up before her eyes and all traces of the slight injury disappeared in the blink of an eye.

"Cheri," Will whispered desperately. "Pretend you didn't see that."

"I-you…of course, it was a trick of the mind," she shook her head slowly. "I've been tired, I'm just seeing things."

They never discussed what had happened, and Will was relieved when nothing seemed to change between them. His power had only been witnessed by a select few throughout the years he had wandered the Earth. Usually it was in the heat of a battle and the stories were quickly written off as the trauma of war. This was the first time someone hadn't questioned their own sanity after seeing a wound mysteriously heal. It was refreshing and made him think of the long lost Mind.

A year passed in the blink of an eye. Paris was sweltering and miserable. The Germans had been occupying Paris for two years now. The atmosphere was one of terror at all times. Distrust was in every heart. Human nature at its worst was on display in every treacherous heart that would cheaply sell out a fellow human being for slaughter. Will's earnest work in saving those from persecution grew more dangerous with every passing minute. His opportunity to help was growing smaller as more and more Jews were disappearing to the camp in Drancy, then to Auschwitz forever.

It all came to a head two days after one particular family was taken away by the Vichy police. Will noticed that it had affected his partner in crime far more than it usually did. She had become withdrawn, anxious and absolutely heartbroken. He had sympathized with her at the time, and had tried his best to make her feel better.

He should have known.

"Cheri?" Will whispered into the darkness, wondering why she had requested that they rendezvous at a different spot than usual.

"You'll not find your Cheri this evening, nor do I suspect you'll find her on any evening after this."

Will looked up at the person who so casually made the announcement. Tall, blonde, absolutely disgust written across the sneering feminine features.

"What did you do with her?" Will demanded hotly.

"I have no time or patience for your ridiculous questions. You'll come with me. End of discussion."

Will's face was purposefully blank even as his slightly mirthful voice echoed throughout the dark cobblestone alleyway, "There isn't really anything you can do that will stop me from walking away from you."

"So I've heard."

Will swallowed and shook his head imperceptibly.

"Your _Cheri_ made a very fruitful and wise arrangement with the great people of Germany. You will come with me, and she will get her fiancé back."

"Fiancé?" Will whispered.

"A strapping young Jew, bulging biceps, obnoxious hair. He would have lasted in the camps forever, yet she struck a deal to get him released to her."

"No," Will shook his head.

"Yes. Come with me. I have work to perform on you…"

Something inside of Will that had lasted hundreds of years broke in two. He didn't struggle when the ineptly armed soldiers took hold of him and walked him towards a military vehicle at the end of the road. Hope died and was replaced with steely cold resolve. He might as well have died that day in Paris. If it were possible, it would have saved quite a few problems for those in the future.

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So, the cast here was Will as Will. Rachel as the mysterious French Jew who Will called Cheri. Sue Sylvester as the mysterious person who traded whom I'm assuming was Puck to Rachel for Will. And I'd like to think that the narrator was Artie, because if it had been Brittany, it would have been hilarious instead of kind of sad. Just a little glimpse into Schue's past, we'll get them from time to time.

So, see you tomorrow or Monday with a new chapter! What's the name? Oh this...Chapter 57 – "Have You Ever Invited Danger to Come Inside?"


	57. Chapter 57

If you have clicked on this link expecting quality plot or action or quality anything? Skip it! :D This is filler at its very filliest. There may be one small plot point that you would never recognize cause its completely buried except for the chapter title. I hope that you enjoy it nonetheless! I love that you're always willing to lie to me regardless.

The chapter title lyric is taken from Pink's "Glitter in the Air".

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 57 – "Have You Ever Invited Danger to Come Inside?"_

* * *

_There is always the calm before the storm. It is a principle that the universe holds very dear. Yes, Fate is a cruel mistress and Life is a bitch. Yet there is always a small pocket of time before a crisis, natural disaster or epic life meltdown, where you will find yourself with a blissful moment where you can just breathe and be calm. _

_The beautiful irony of these moments is of course that you will never know that they are occurring so that you can properly appreciate them. _

_

* * *

_

"Rae-Rae, that was _seriously_ mean," Mike said sternly as the images Mercedes had been projecting for Rachel cut off, leaving the Gleeks in their randomly strewn positions around Puck and Rachel's room. "Past you was _really mean_."

"That wasn't her!" Brittany insisted with annoyance. She wrinkled her nose at Mike and ordered, "Take it back!"

"Rachel and I've never been reincarnated before this time," Puck clarified to a suddenly frightened Mike.

"She just had physical similarities to me and the Original Mind," Rachel said softly, her hand quickly wiping the corner of her eye as a stray tear tried to make an escape down her cheek.

"How do you know that you've never been reincarnated?" Quinn asked thoughtfully.

"Déjà vu," Puck shrugged.

"Bless you," Finn offered helpfully.

"You guys all have those moments where you're like, I've done this before, right?" Puck questioned, ignoring Finn altogether. The taller boy looked offended until Mercedes pushed at his shoulder in annoyance. Puck smirked at the pair before addressing the group. "I'm speaking for Rachel, but I can say neither of us have ever had that."

"I get it," Brittany nodded in an almost sage way.

"Explain, please?" Santana smiled.

"We've all had lots of lives. So sometimes the moments seem similar. And it's like, hey I watched this episode of Dawson's Creek, and it sucked because Dawson was totally smooch-blocking Pacey and Joey, and then they replayed it all the time on TBS and Teen Nick and I just wanted to throw things at my tv. Or then there's the episode where it's just Pacey and Joey in the department store and I get all happy and remember-y whenever I see a K-mart…"

"That's a really wonderful explanation, Brittany," Rachel smiled winningly. She turned to the rest of the Gleek's and said patiently. "Noah and I don't have déjà-vu. We've only lived on Earth once before and now we're here to try again."

"So…what did the Sue Sylvester clone want with Schuester? And how does that apply to our current epic, crazy problems?" Sam wondered.

"That's all I could get from his memories, he has the rest blocked off. The best we can do is try to get him to open up again," Rachel sighed.

"Good luck there, his rectum is tighter than my weave and I just had Mercedes do this shit yesterday," Santana smirked.

"We should sing to him," Blaine suggested. He was completely unprepared for eleven people glaring at him. Rachel grinned and clapped her hands together enthusiastically. He shrugged and explained, "As a Warbler, all I had to do was sing to get what I wanted. I mean, I never attended a Chemistry class and still got an A because I sang for my teacher."

"Our Chemistry teacher was a women you lyrical whore," Kurt shook his head in mild amusement.

"I vote we go upstairs and annoy the living piss out of him until he cracks," Puck shrugged.

"Which kind of equals singing to him," Blaine shrugged.

"Then Rachel can read his mind while he's trying to kill us all," Santana nodded.

"The unholy sex animal trinity comes through once again," Tina rolled her eyes. She looked to Kurt who was trying to dissuade Blaine's insane singing plot with hissed, nearly silent words. "Kurt, we're doing karaoke. You got a machine for this?"

"I'll just mess with the TV in the conference room," Kurt rolled his eyes. He rolled his eyes at the suddenly excitable puppy that was the boy he was totally fathoms deep in love with before turning to Mercedes and Finn and asking, "What are we going to sing?"

"I want an acapella version of…"

"It's KARAOKE," Mercedes laughed.

"It totally can't be acapella. Even I know that, Bland," Finn huffed in annoyance. "And this isn't one of your Warbler things were you get to sing lead."

"Right, Puck gets to sing lead with Rachel, I get it," Blaine nodded, giving an extra mischievous look to a smirking Puck and Santana.

"I SING LEAD!" Finn scoffed. He glared at Blaine before looking to a barely amused Kurt and said, "No offense, but I think you could do way better. Bland's kind of stupid."

Kurt laughed and rolled his eyes, before nudging Finn with his elbow. "Come and help me move stuff around in the conference room for karaoke. Let the rest of them get Mr. Schuester there. 'Cedes, wanna come and help us pick out a playlist?"

Blaine watched the trio head out of Puck and Rachel's room with a disgruntled expression. He turned to the rest of the Gleek's and questioned,

"Bland is the best he can come up with?"

"He's just being protective of his step-brother," Sam shrugged.

"It's really actually very sweet," Tina nodded in agreement. "It took him a while to get there, but he's really fucking serious about it now."

"Yeah, whatever, but _Bland_?" Blaine nearly pouted at Santana.

"You're a sexy bitch, bitch," Santana assured him. She wrapped an arm around his midsection and squeezed tightly. "Now, someone go figure out how we're going to get Schuester downstairs and force him into being all open and shit so Rachel can rape the shit out of his brain."

"Santana, choose better words, please," Rachel rolled her eyes. "There's a child that can sort of here you."

"His mouth is _already_ fifteen times filthier than mine, 'aight?" Santana emphasized her words with an exaggerated neck roll. She arched and eyebrow, "Hey Pucklebaby…make your mommy say something dirty for Auntie San, pretty please and I'll totally give you lollipops as soon as we can be sure you won't asphyxiate your awesome little self on them."

"Shut the FUCK UP, Santana!" Rachel hissed. She stamped her foot in frustration before trying to speak again, "DAMMIT. SHIT. I mean…BABY! You are being very naughty!"

"Come on, Sparky, he's just trying to make sure he has a lifetime of lollipops," Puck grinned as her face became red with the concentration it took to stop the swear words from falling out of her mouth.

"If he's anything like his father, he's going to want things to lick and suck on," Brittany said cheerfully, clearly only trying to help.

Rachel's eyes brimmed with sudden tears and Brittany began to panic. Quinn placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder and shook her head gently. Quinn then walked slowly over to Rachel and Puck as Rachel tried in vain to hold in her meltdown.

"Rach, why don't you and Puck stay here while we start karaoke. Let us all warm up a little before you take over," Quinn smiled sympathetically. She thanked her lucky stars that Tina had the presence of mind to start shepherding people out of the bedroom. Quinn leveled a look at Puck and said with a well-practiced sternness, "She's freaking out. Take your time, calm her down. Get that crazy baby to be nice to the mother that's taking such good care of it."

"Thank you, Quinn," Rachel whispered, sighing with relief when a curse word didn't come out. After Quinn shut the door closed behind her on her way out, Rachel turned to Puck and pointed at him, "This is all your fault you horrible asshole…Dammit!"

"Hey, hey, come on," Puck wrapped her up in a tight embrace. He lifted her off her feet and carried her to their bed, gently placing her there before turning and rushing towards the closet. He rummaged for a minute while Rachel tried in vain to compose herself. In the sixty second it took him to return to their bed, she had managed to work herself into hysterical sobbing, where each breath she took in sounded ragged and desperate. Puck's eyes widened and he placed the guitar he had retrieved against the bedside table before sitting on the bed and reaching out for her. "Rachel, baby, please calm down. Just breathe. In and out, really slow…come on…"

It took them at least five minutes for Rachel to calm her breathing due to the fact that she had gone from hysterically crying to _panicking_ at the idea of hysterically crying and then having a full out melt-down over the fact that she was so out of practice with her singing that she had forgotten how to control her own breathing. Puck rubbed her back soothingly and repeatedly pressed his lips to her temple in an indiscernible pattern.

"Are you ready to talk?" he asked quietly. She shook her head no slowly and he smiled as he reached for the glass of water that was on their bedside table. He handed it to her and smiled as she pushed herself into a sitting position with his arm still draped around her. She drained the glass of water in one gulp and had to catch her breath again. "Ready now?"

"Yes," she said softly. "If I can't get our baby to stop swearing and shooting lasers haphazardly, how on Earth can I ever be a good mother. I _really_ don't think that I thought the whole getting pregnant thing through, Noah! What was I_** thinking**_? That at the age of seventeen, we could have a baby because he would give me a power boost and I really really love you and saw him and really really loved him too and I just…"

"Sparky…_Rachel_," Puck whispered. He took her water glass from her and put it back on their table. He smiled at her with that loving soft look in his eyes that still managed to flood her stomach with warmth and give her the goose bumps at the same time. "It really did take the two of us to make this foul-mouthed tiny laser baby boy, you know that right?"

"Yes, but you had no part in the planning," Rachel reminded him. "I'm a fucc-an idiot."

"Nope," Puck shook his head. "Impossible. We can do this. You're brilliant. Literally. I mean, Brittany's always talking about how much she loves you. So you've got like, super brains on top of Rachel brains which means you're five thousand times smarter than anyone else. This isn't like we're still in high school with no money. We live in a mansion where it's like…there's so much money it may as well not even exist. My mom and one of your dad's is happy about this, and you know what? You other dad didn't try to stab me at breakfast yesterday…that's _fucking progress_, babe. We got this."

"Daddy has been making a very conscious effort to contain his rage when he sees your face," Rachel promised. "He has logged over 50 hours of therapy with Brittany's mother."

"I know, Sparky, I know," Puck smiled.

"Were you going to sing to me?" Rachel's eyes slid over to the guitar.

"Nope," he exaggerated his word by popping the p sound obnoxiously.

"That's disappointing," Rachel sighed sadly. "A properly thought out and excellently performed serenade would surely brighten my day."

"I'm singing to my little dude in there," Puck placed a kiss on her small baby bump.

"That's very sweet," Rachel grinned. "What are you going to sing? Twinkle Twinkle Little star?"

"Hell no. I'm doing Bitches Ain't Shit, from Dr. Dre," Puck chuckled.

"NOAH!" Rachel screeched, her eyes instantly going red as she averted her face away from him and let the laser shot against Tina and Mike's favorite cuddle chair in the room.

"Chill out! I was going to replace all the swears with like…Berry-swears," Puck promised. "That way little man can learn those words instead until he's old enough to say the real words."

Rachel remained silent for a moment before a slow grin lit up her face. She nodded and feared that she wouldn't get the words out without tears, so she simply gestured with her had for him to start.

"_Witches ain't…"_

"**Aren't**," Rachel corrected firmly. He gave her an incredulous look which she had no intention of backing down from as she insisted, "the baby needs proper grammar, Noah."

"_Witches __**aren't**__ poop but trolls and tricks…so lick a lollipop and blow me a kiss."_

* * *

"I veto any and all of your suggestions. I'm Glee co-captain, so what I say is like, a LAW."

Blaine rolled his eyes for the thousandth time that night, causing Brittany to go into hysterics again because apparently he and Santana had synchronized eye rolling down to a science. They had been goofing off with the improvised karaoke system that Kurt had created with a television and an ipod for at least forty-five minutes. Finn had been hilariously thwarting Blaine's every attempt to sing.

"I actually like Blaine's singing. What's the harm in letting him sing a little?" Mercedes whispered to Finn covertly.

"He'll use his sexy singing vibes to take advantage of Kurt," Finn whispered back.

"You are just…" Mercedes took a deep breath before leaning in and smacking her lips obnoxiously against the corner of his mouth. "You're so cute, sometimes I just want to smack you upside your head."

"The kissing is better than the hitting," Finn couldn't help but smile goofily as he leaned in for another kiss.

"NOW, go, go go!" Santana hissed at Blaine, as she had seen Finn become preoccupied with those lusciously glossy lips of Mercedes'. She cheered when Blaine finally made his selection and began singing while Finn and Mercedes were _still_ getting down in Make-Out-Town.

"This goes out to my totally hot boyfriend, Kurt," Blaine said quickly as Finn was pausing mid-kiss, only to have Mercedes do something apparently _awesome_ with her mouth that regained his full attention.

"_Well all I really want to do is to love you…a kind much closer than friends do…"_

Kurt turned ten different shades of purple, although he clearly was enjoying the serenade. He was enraptured as Blaine continued to sing, even as Puck and Rachel _finally_ joined the karaoke party, Rachel looking positively giddy with happiness.

"Dude, it's a little early, even for a nooner!" Santana shouted at Puck over Blaine's singing.

"Where's Schuester?" Sam wondered. He gave an amused look to a still crooning Blaine and shrugged, "I'm pretty sure he'd be so distracted by all of our cray cray that you'd be able to mind violate him easy."

"He's on his way," Rachel smiled. She reached out for Quinn's hand, who was happily perched on Sam's lap and squeezed her fingers. "Thanks for earlier."

"As absolutely horrifying as it all is, I've been there. Don't forget that and try to keep it all balled up," Quinn advised. She smiled as the door popped open and Schue walked in with General Benson still tagging along as Rachel hadn't popped her back to D.C. yet. Quinn arched a brow and said, "Just look at what repressed feelings do to a person. Think of the hair alone, Rach."

"And now, for my encore, I'd like to delve into the world of Aretha Franklin for a-"

"OH HELL TO THE NO, BLAND!" Merecedes pushed Finn away and stormed the "stage" area to get Blaine to stop from completely nerding up her idol.

"It's catching on," Finn nodded triumphantly.

"As fascinating as all of this is, I have a lot of work to do," General Benson announced. She looked at Rachel pointedly and said, "We're still on for this Friday? You're prepared to host the medical team for part one of Artie's surgery?"

"Absolutely, we've been reviewing their profiles and our parents and various guardians are making sure that every thing is on the up and up," Rachel nodded. "We'll see you then, General Benson."

"See you then," the woman nodded before awkwardly looking towards Will and lifting a hand in a slight goodbye.

"Awkward," Tina whispered at Mike as Rachel blipped the General out.

"Definitely something to keep an eye on," Mike nodded.

"So, we're singing, Schuester, you in for a little stroll down the musical memory lane?" Sam wondered cheerfully.

Schue looked around at the room of happy teenagers as Blaine and Mercedes compromised with a duet. He smiled for the briefest moment, giving each of the kids hope that _operation: mind violate Schue_, would work.

His face fell back to its now normal, surly state and he muttered, "Absolutely not."

And then he was practically running away from the assembled Gleek's as fast as his legs could carry him. The rest of the Gleeks looked around at each other in a moment of collected defeat before Rachel broke the brief silence by popping up on her feet and joining Blaine and Mercedes.

"How about a trio?"

"_Waannk_-"

"SANTANA, SHUT YOUR FUDGING PIEHOLE!" Rachel ordered harshly.

"That's my boy!" Puck crowed.

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So yeah, calm before the storm? So, if this was the (crazed too many characters hyper) calm...next would be...the storm?

Chapter 58 – "Just Let Me Slice Your Throat"


	58. Chapter 58

Happy Monday, everyone! Here we are with another chapter. Sorry it was not posted sooner as I had an impromptu getaway this weekend.

The lyrics that have been re-mixed for the Chapter title are from DJ Kool. "Let Me Clear My Throat". If you don't know that song, I will adopt you and teach you what getting down is all about. Thanks as always for your amazing replies, emails and tumblr messages. I love you guys.

**

* * *

Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 58 – "Just Let Me Slice Your Throat"_

* * *

_The best laid plans often go awry. Checklists, pie charts, fortune tellers, and mega intelligence or not, there is always that one thing. One small thing that is capable of completely derailing the most earnestly made plan. Very much like a stack of dominoes that has one misplaced domino. Eventually it gets to that step where things stop working. Just one domino one small centimeter out of place._

_Now, imagine a really big domino out of place. A really sharp and dangerous domino._

_

* * *

_

"You scared, babe?"

"Terrified, actually."

"You know none of us would let something happen to you right? I mean, Rachel will explode their brains. And I'll cut a bitch."

"Thank you Santana," Artie smiled up at the brunette from his place in her lap. Santana was sitting with her back to the headboard of the bed that usually contained one to two more people. It was one of the larger beds in the compound due to that very fact and they had all the room they needed to sprawl out comfortably; however, Santana had crawled close to him after helping him in and had started to stroke his hair gently when he had placed his head on her thigh. "I'm not scared of something bad happening like that…"

"You scared it's not going to work?" Santana wondered thoughtfully, her voice holding an unusual softness to it that she very rarely used outside of the bed they were currently in.

"Brittany is _so sure_ everything is going to work out," Artie shrugged helplessly.

"That's why we love her," Santana nodded. "She believes the best things can happen if you wish hard enough."

"But if it doesn't work and the surgeons decide that it will never work, what's that do to her?" Artie asked his voice barely a whisper as his blinks became more prolonged each time.

Santana smiled as he began to dose off. This had been Brittany's genius plan. Artie needed his rest for the next day, and Brittany could never get him to sleep, but Santana always managed to have this crazy calming effect on the boy. Brittany had explained that it was because Santana was the ocean and the waves could calm people. Santana thought it was because she was always up in Artie's face when they were all _finishing_ their bed time activities and her face was the last thing he saw before he zonked out. It was like Pavlov's dog or something.

"Our girl is a lot stronger than any of us really knows," Santana murmured thoughtfully. "She'll bounce the fuck back so quick you'll get whiplash. And she'll never, ever give up on you."

"You won't either, right?" Artie mumbled as sleep quickly descended upon him.

"Not a chance, Wheelie," Santana promised.

"I love…my…girls," Artie breathed out, succumbing quickly to sleep.

Santana couldn't help the honest smile that lit up her face and spent a few more silent, calming minutes running her fingers through Artie's hair. The bedroom door clicked open ever so slowly and Brittany poked her head in with a curious look lighting up her eyes. She full out grinned at the pretty scene in front of her before skipping into the room and gently climbing onto the bed. She moved slowly and carefully until she was cuddled up against Santana comfortably.

"I knew you could do it. He was super worried, but I knew you could make him feel better," Brittany smiled widely at Santana. Her smile disappeared though when she saw that Santana had tears in her eyes. "San, what's wrong?"

"I'm scared for him. For you. For us," she managed to whisper. She let one small squeak tear its way from her suddenly swollen throat as Brittany wiped at her tears with nothing short of a loving caress. "What if it doesn't work? What if something goes wrong? Do _we_ work without Artie? I know that's fucking selfish—"

"We work all the time," Brittany furrowed her brow in confusion. "We've always worked. I love you, Santana. If Artie said he didn't want to be with us tomorrow, or the next day, well…he'd be stupid, but you and me would be okay. Cause I love you."

"I love you too, Brit-Brit," Santana sighed, her heart fluttering at the words. She looked down at Artie and said softly, "He said that he loved his girls before he went to sleep. Do you think he means it?"

"Artie doesn't say things that he doesn't mean," Brittany promised. "And neither do you. That's why I think it's easy for me to love Artie, too. Sometimes you guys are kind of alike."

Santana smiled and dipped her head ever so slightly so that her lips pressed against Brittany's in a gentle, soothing caress. Brittany hummed happily against Santana's mouth before reluctantly pulling away.

"Want to know a secret?" Brittany whispered.

"Sure, baby," Santana indulged her, wondering if she was about to hear Brittany's newest theory about the Gleewarts kitchen elves that she was going to emancipate.

"The surgery works. I saw it when we went into the future. Everyone else forgot," Brittany whispered. "And you, me and Artie, we're still a really happy family. _Really_ happy, San. Everything works out. I promise."

* * *

The next day dawned and it saw all thirteen Gleek's meeting up in Puck and Rachel's room. No one, not even Finn had been to the mess hall for breakfast, as they were all entirely too nervous about Artie's upcoming surgery. Rachel had organized them all on her bed and stood next to Artie as she went over the day's assigned tasks like a drill sergeant.

"We are all going to need to be in the infirmary today, teammates," Rachel reminded them. "We will need our combined energy to make sure that certain vital roles are played to their fullest. Tina and I will be on hand to heal any abnormal complications and keep Artie's heart rate steady. Kurt will be working on the machines, we all know that Brittany has been working very hard to make the machines better than they were before, but they could still use every ounce of extra juice."

"I'm the juice boy. I juice," Kurt nodded primly.

"Everyone else will currently play a supporting role, but let's not forget that without a stellar supporting cast, there would be no entertainment in the world," Rachel nodded.

"There was a time in the past where her talking like this wasn't hot, right?" Santana looked to Puck curiously. "I mean, it used to make me want to full on vomit but now I just want to smack her tight little tushy."

"Pfft, I always wanted to hit that," Puck rolled his eyes at Santana.

"I'm gay, and I kind of want to hit that," Blaine nodded. He furrowed his brow at Santana and demanded, "What's the matter with you girl-Blaine?"

"Get it straight, poodle hair, I'm _Santana_. That's dude-Santana," she jerked her head in Puck's direction before nodding at Blaine himself and insisting, "And you're lady-fabulous Santana and or straight-Santana. You gets me?"

"Can't we just call you guys by your regular names?" Sam demanded in confusion, looking to his teammates and seeing a lot of agreement on their faces and nods bobbing up and down eagerly.

"That's fucking boring," came the three identical responses.

"I'm going to bring in General Benson and the surgical team and we can get this important project underway," Rachel announced as she gestured for the Gleeks to rise and follow her out of her room. They all followed her as she literally marched towards the infirmary, where Brittany, Kurt and members of the community had set up an on-site surgery room. She smiled and hugged Puck's mother, who was in complete nurse mode as she had been needlessly fussing and sanitizing equipment.

"Artie, let's get you all ready, okay?" Mrs. Puckerman smiled and wheeled him away from his friends.

Rachel gripped Puck's hand and concentrated on bringing General Benson and the surgical team to the facility. General Benson was getting accustomed to the trip and only looked slightly green around the gills. However, the ten person medical staff was astonished at the transportation method and several of them covered their mouths in a panic as bile rose up uncontrollably.

"Bathroom's on the left for everyone to get cleaned up," Blaine smirked at the travel sick visitors in a smug way. He then looked to Finn with a sort of nervous twitching of his brow as he earnestly put forth. "I'd feel better if we could do like…a spell. Like to wipe their memory."

"And what would that spell be called?" Finn asked with surprising shrewdness, giving Blaine a critical look.

"Uhm, mind windex-cadabra?" Blaine offered eventually before looking completely downtrodden.

"I don't care that you don't know about the Harry Potter world," Kurt whispered to him. He threw a pointed look at his step-brother before kissing Blaine's cheek swiftly and demanding, "Come and hold my hand so that I can make sure the machines stay on course."

Finn rolled his eyes and managed to actually put a smile on his face as Artie was wheeled back in and placed on the operating table. He gave his friend a big thumbs up before taking his place with the other Gleek's who were simply there as a living breathing power generators for the others who were vital to the surgery going well. They had all scrubbed up and gotten prepared and found that this big important day in their lives was a lot of hurrying up, then waiting.

Tina and Brittany stood next to each other, staring down as Artie was finally being administered the anesthetic. The girls managed nervous smiles at one another, Tina whispering,

"Rae and I are going to take really good care of him, promise."

"I know," Brittany nodded. "It's all going to be okay."

"Ladies, nothing to worry about," one of the masked surgeons assured them, his words lilting with a slight accent. "Kan Kenshi promises you, that you will have nothing to worry about."

On the table, Artie's eyes went wide and a familiar shaking took over his upper extremities. The vision hit however just as the anesthesia took effect, and Artie couldn't even grumble a whole word in Latin. Brittany furrowed her brow and looked to Rachel and said with a soft, scared voice, "I think he wanted to say danger."

"I'll try to see what I can get," Rachel nodded as she closed her eyes and did her best to get into Artie's mind. It wasn't like that first time at the pizza shop, where everything was so violently brutal and overwhelming in the sheer magnitude of visions. Both Artie and Rachel had developed their powers over the past few months, and it showed. Even in his haste, Artie had practically set aside the vision of danger in his mind, and gift wrapped it for Rachel to pluck out. She still gasped at what she saw however, and opened her eyes to dart around the room nervously.

Everyone was wearing surgical gowns or scrubs, with caps and face masks in place, so the only things visible were the eyes of everyone as they started to work. She looked over to Puck, who had stepped behind her the minute he had _felt _her going to work with Artie's subconscious.

_Sparky, you okay?_

Rachel took a deep breath and shrugged her shoulders ever so slightly, her eyes darting around the room suspiciously, searching for the danger. Every member of her team looked back at her, as if her suspicion and worry had set off a red alert in each of their minds. She focused on the eyes of the strangers in the room, sending one quick word to all of her friends through her mind.

_Sword_.

The first incision on Artie was made as all of the Gleeks went rigid. Brittany's eyes widened and she went for her hand to scratch out one symbol. She looked up at Rachel in a terror as she quickly and easily figured out who the danger in the room was.

One second too late.

Tina screamed as a slicing feeling ripped through her bicep and she stared in wonder as the object that had cut her clattered to the floor. A simple copper colored coin. She felt the burning pain associated with her rapid healing and hissed a curse word as Brittany pointed from beside her.

"It's him, Rach, It's him…his name is Blade…like a _dull_ Blade!" Brittany said before diving for cover as the man who had introduced himself as Kan Kenshi threw bits of surgical gauze her way. The supposedly fluffy bits of cotton grazed her cheek and she winced as she felt the sting of tiny, harsh cuts opening on her skin.

The other members of the medical team backed away from the table in nervous apprehension and Quinn didn't even have to think as she threw up two bubbles encasing all the non-powered adults in the room.

"SCHUESTER!" Rachel gritted out, both aloud and in her mind, knowing inherently that they needed another person who _couldn't_ die and was capable of mind-blowing violence.

"Rae, focus on keeping Artie alive!" Tina begged as she stepped away from her place at the table. She glared at the maniacal eyes of the second _other_ superpower they had found. Or in this case had found them. She pulled her mask off her face and ripped off the surgical gown as she glared at him with very real rage. "So, what, you turn stuff into tiny blades of fury? I can't die, motherfucker. Give it your best shot."

"With pleasure," Kan Kenshi answered, his voice low and rumbling. "You'll know the meaning of Shiro Frieden soon enough."

"And you'll know the meaning of _Ouch my balls, my motherfucking balls are gone, completely gone_ soon enough, fucktard," Tina promised.

"Dude's gonna _die_," Blaine smirked. He gave a look down to where Santana was fussing over Brittany's scratches. He smiled at them winningly and said, "Hot Asian Fierceness is going to bring Freddy Kreuger down and down hard."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I really hope you liked the chapter. I also really hope that fanfictiondotnet sends the alert on time and not 24 hours from now. :D Did you like the Brittanartie scene? I know people want to draw lines in the sand as either Bartie or Brittana, but I like both, so I'm sorry if you're not down with that.

Next up? On hopefully Wednesday?

Chapter 59 – "Bend If You Wanna, If You Wanna"


	59. Chapter 59

Happy Saturday! Sorry for the delay, but it appears that I've lost my mojo. There's no way I'll be getting to chapter 75 by the end of the hiatus, but hopefully I will be able to post chapters a little more frequently. Thanks for all the pleasant reminders and nudges along the way. You guys are great.

This chapter title lyric is taken from the song "Move if You Wanna" by M.I.M.S

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 59 – "Bend if You Wanna, If You Wanna_"

* * *

_Everyone is familiar with the story of King Midas. No? Excellent. According to the 99.99999% accurate information culled from the internet, King Midas is a tale from Greek Mythology whose touch turned everything to Gold. What the internet and Greek Mythology does not know however is that King Midas is a fictional tale loosely based on factual events. Kron Magdas was a man who invented the idea of currency in the early days of men who walked upright. He was also the first man to die of heart disease, as he was rich beyond belief and no longer did physical activity. _

_From the story of Kron Magdas came Midas. The Midas touch. Turning everything he would touch into solid gold._

_And now a story has begun with Kan Kenshi. Turning everything he would touch into sharp blades. _

* * *

Kan Kenshi doesn't remember his parents. His earliest memory is a gleam of street lights glancing off the thin yet potent metal of a switch blade. He remembers the screaming and he remembers the sickening thud of two bodies hitting the ground in lifeless, empty heaps. His next earliest memory is at the age of ten, as he learnt the English language with his classmates. He never found it odd that his other classmates didn't speak Japanese. He only knew that they were all working towards the same goal together.

Yet Kan Kenshi still understood nothing about true teamwork.

"I don't really understand what's going on right now, but that young man has an open incision," one of the surgeons hissed towards Quinn, even as Tina advanced on Kan, who was pulling seemingly harmless small wooden sticks from his pockets.

As if on cue, the monitors that were monitoring Artie's progress went haywire. Tina turned in alarm and caught Rachel's eye. Rachel rushed over to Quinn, who dropped the forcefield to allow Puck and Rachel through. The protective bubble tripled in size and strength, enveloping the operating table that Artie was on.

Kan was not to be deterred however, and his wrist flicked with what looked like expert precision. One stick flew through the air towards the life support machine that was keeping Artie breathing. The sparks of electricity flew upwards violently and the machine went dead.

"NO!" Kurt hissed, feeling the connection between the technology and himself fizzle. He turned panicked eyes to Rachel and she nodded, moving towards the table where the doctors were currently fretting over Artie, trying their best to ignore the violence that was just outside of the protective blue sphere of light encasing them all. Kurt swallowed nervously and said, "There's not much I can do here without electricity."

"I'm going to go and get Schuester," Blaine nodded, gripping Kurt's hand in his and squeezing before letting go.

"NO," Puck ordered, watching Rachel very closely. He could tell she was using every ounce of energy in keeping Artie and the protective bubble they were encased in alive and strong, respectively. She was going to need all the Gleek battery power she could get.

Tina's muffled yelp of pain caught everyone's attention as one of the sticks that Kan tossed her way came into contact with her torso. The seemingly harmless scrap of wood tore straight through her clothing and sliced a deep gash into her skin. She tried to focus on the lessons that Will Schuester had been trying to pound into her skull, quite literally. Take the pain of her certainly sliced skin and muscles and turn it into something useful. _Rage._

She took the burning, intense pain of her healing processed and funneled it into her quick and deft movements as she hurtled herself towards Kan, her fists flying out with precise energy and torque towards his temples. He staggered backwards under the blow but recovered, tossing the rest of the sticks that were in his hands towards the protective bubble that was encasing the surgeons working on Artie and the rest of the Gleeks.

Quinn actually whimpered as the force field shuddered and she looked towards Rachel, who was focusing intently on keeping Artie alive. There wasn't enough energy to go around to sustain such a large force field. And from the wickedly satisfied look on Kan's face, he seemed to realize that very fact as he began picking up random objects in the room and hurling them at the bubble, even as Tina continued to assault him. Her physical attack was impressive, but so was Kan's resiliency and ability to take a beating.

"BED PAN!" Finn pointed as the object that Kan threw hurtled towards the force field Quinn was struggling to maintain.

"_Gross_," Sam grumbled, gripping Quinn's hand as hard as she could as she actually began to sweat under the intense focus she was trying to keep up.

The metal bed pan _sliced_ through the ball of light that had been protecting them and unknowingly, all of the Gleek's took an impressive defensive stance save for Rachel, who was still staring at Artie intently as she willed his body to keep working, and Quinn, who was staggering on her feet. Brittany scampered on her hands and knees to where the wires to Artie's machines had been cut, followed by Santana who was still fretting over the scratches to Brittany's cheeks. Kurt grabbed Quinn's hand from Sam and they crouched down next to Brittany and Santana.

The more combat capable Gleek's stood in front of the operating table, looking fierce and capable. Only Puck remained by Rachel's side, his hand on the small of her back, rubbing soothing and gentle circles there, as if Artie's entire operation hadn't turned into a particularly violent and disturbing episode of M.A.S.H.

"Get that piece of Doo-doo out of here," Rachel turned to Puck and ordered in a low and nearly raspy voice. She turned her head quickly towards Kan as her eyes went red and she shot a single laser beam that the baby had been _eager_ to get out for the past few minutes.

Unfortunately it missed, but Kan ducked regardless, giving Tina the opportunity to bring her knee right up into the man's face. He fell backwards gripping his nose as blood trickled out at a slow leak. He looked away from Tina for a half second as some of the surgeons he had accompanied on the way into the facility gasped and he couldn't help but swallow tightly as Puck stepped forward, fists of literal fire at the ready.

"You heard the little mamma, time to take the doo-doo out," Puck smirked before hurtling a fire ball in the direction of the closed door.

"Really, you couldn't have asked me to open it?" Kurt demanded harshly from where Brittany was working on the wires to the life support machines in an attempt to get them juiced again.

"You have to respect the cinematic quality of the badassness," Blaine piped in.

"I could have done it better," Santana grumbled.

"Really, guys, _really_?" Kurt shook his head in disbelief.

"Look out!" Tina shouted from the other side of the room.

Blaine looked up and saw a flurry of items that Kan had picked up in the room heading directly for them. He didn't even have time to think, much less explain what he was doing as he reached out with his arms and enveloped Santana, Brittany, Quinn and Kurt. They blinked out of that field of existence with a rush of wind as the newly sharp tongue depressors and cotton swabs stuck into the ground like thrown hatchets. No less than a second later, Blaine had them back in their exact same spot, and Brittany gingerly picked up one of the tongue depressors as she went immediately back to splicing the wires together.

"So…he turns things into blades?" Mike questioned Sam warily as they stood in front of Artie, Rachel and the surgeons protectively.

"Really sharp ones," Sam nodded, his eyes darting around and surveying where the objects were lodged around the room. The bed pan that had been tossed earlier had created a large chunk in the hole, as if had been a steak knife cutting through butter.

"But do you think that _**he**_ is sharp?" Mike wondered. "Tina hit him and didn't cut herself…but Tina could have healed if…"

"Only one way to find out," Sam mumbled, before quickly lifting off his feet and rushing through the air at a speed that he had never before been able to achieve. He reached his hand down and let his palm hit Kan's head straight on, sending the man stumbling backwards. Sam landed evenly on the other side and held up an unharmed hand towards Mike in victory.

"Oh, it's about to go down," Mike smiled happily. The powers he had developed since the full moon had been fun, but he had never thought of them as important. Sure they made dancing even more fun. He was indispensible when it came to reaching something high up when Finn wasn't around. And anything locked didn't really phase anyone when he could just squeeze his way into anything. But Mike had never thought of himself as vital to his fellow super-powered friends. But now…

He stretched his body towards Kan quickly, bobbing and weaving to avoid the sticks throw his way. Mike's hands reached out and gripped Kan's wrists, twisting them around his body in a way that would have never hurt Mike's fluid bones, but caused an awful lot of pain for Kan if the tortured yelp was anything to judge by.

Tina actually _laughed_ with joy as Mike incapacitated the man from throwing anymore ridiculously sharp objects and immediately wrinkled her nose as she felt that elusive rage Schuester was always raving about slip away completely. She couldn't help it as Mike's legs caught up with the rest of his body and kicked the guy in the shins. Fluidity took over once again, and Mike wrapped his left leg solidly around Kan's legs, forcing him to the ground.

"Out of the room, please, Michael!" Rachel called out weakly.

Mike nodded and rolled his way out of the room, his limbs binding Kan into a pretzel-like shape. They tumbled towards the door that Puck had blown open and were out in the hallway Mike bending and shifting his body so that he was sitting on top of a completely subdued Kan Kenshi.

"Not so blade-y and awesome when you can't touch stuff, huh?" Mike smirked as Puck and Tina followed them out.

"You underestimate me," Kan managed to mumble out between harsh breaths. He struggled and winced but managed to bend his hand _just so_ that his fingers could reach the edge of the hem of Mike's shirt.

Mike leapt off of the man he had imprisoned as the feeling of a million small scratches began stinging him all at once. He ripped off the surgical gown he had been wearing and then went for the shirt that was literally cutting _itself_ to pieces with the sharpness that Kan had imbued upon it. Mike's eyes grew large with surprise and pain as he felt his skin being ripped up by the threads that were now tiny knives.

"Baby, you okay?" Tina asked as she walked towards Mike, his naked upper half bloodied and ripped up.

"I'm okay," Mike nodded. He glared at a smirking Kan, who was alternately rubbing at obviously injured wrists. "Kick his ass for me, will you?"

"What the hell is going on here?" General Benson demanded as she and Schuester arrived on the scene.

"You brought a really badass surgeon to the party," Puck grumbled. "This guy is slicing and dicing anything he can get his hands on. Word of advice, avoid the bed pans."

"A little help and a lot of that fun rage you have would be really fucking appropriate right now, Schue!" Tina demanded.

"Got it," Schue nodded, stepping in front of a bewildered General Benson as he stared at Kan in wonder. He shook his head finally and said, "I really don't like anyone else torturing my kids except for me."

Kan smiled up at the new arrivals with an extra dose of creepiness as he rose to his feet on shaky limbs. "I guess I'm off-limits then too, ojiisan."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I hope to see you within a week. This seems like a horrible place to leave it, but then again, I'm kind of horrible like that usually, sooooo. Thanks as always for the fabulous response. I adore everyone who reads this cracky story!

Coming up next? Chapter 60 – "They Will Stop Flaying Us, We Will Be Victorious"


	60. Chapter 60

My humble apologies. I really hope that there are still some people out here that are interested in a silly story about super-powered Gleeks. Thank you to everyone who replied, private messaged me or demanded more of this through every means of communication possible. It's very lovely to have such nice readers.

The lyric is taken from Muse, of course. : )

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

_Chapter 60 – "They Will Stop Flaying Us, We Will Be Victorious"_

* * *

_They say that good things happen for those who wait. Little known fact. "THEY" are an International Coalition that goes by an incredibly unfortunate, and unintentionally hilarious acronym that would certainly up the rating of this introductory monologue if it were to be repeated. THEY is mostly made up of those horrible elderly citizens that inhabit every city, neighborhood and village. THEY are the people that confiscate play things that may have accidentally bounced into their yard. THEY are the people that call the police one minute before noise restrictions start on a particularly joyous holiday or birthday celebration. _

_THEY are basically assholes. And Will Schuester has had the opportunity to meet plenty of them in his lifetime. He never thought a promise one of THEM made him decades ago would come to complete and total fruition at the present moment in time._

* * *

Kan Kenshi smiled up at Will Schuester with all the blissful ignorance of a seventeen year old boy. He had been told a great number of things about William Schuester in his lifetime. Not the man's name or many aliases, his shady and mysterious history, or even his likes or dislikes. But Kan _knew_ Will Schuester. He knew as much as one could possibly know about the man. There was an actual class back where Kan came from. It was a required credit in order to get out into the real world.

Will Schuester, on the other hand, knew nothing of the boy grinning up at him with wonder and a slight tinge of definite mischief. He did take a momentary flash of pride in Kan's bruises, which were no doubt courtesy of Tina Cohen-Chang and all of his hard work in bringing out the girl's inherited rage. The pride flittered away when Will's brain caught up with everything in front of him and he realized _exactly_ where Kan Kenshi had originated from.

He had to make sure that the kid didn't open his mouth again.

"Alright, Pops. Show me what you got," Kan smirked as he struggled to his feet. He reached into his pockets gingerly with his sore and bruised wrists and pulled out a stack of poker chips.

"Wouldn't playing cards be more effective?" Mike wondered aloud from the sidelines.

"Gotta respect that he's not copying Gambit entirely," Sam admitted.

"Boys, quit nerding out and being meta and just watch the awesome go down," Tina warned as she actually smiled at Schue as the man suddenly jumped into action.

Kan got one poker chip through the air and it whizzed gracefully towards a rapidly advancing Will Schuester. It struck on his right shoulder and lodged itself there, but the former choir director barely flinched. His eyes hardened though as he advanced, his psyche getting some sort of reward as he saw Blade-boy falter in his next throw. He may never have shown it in his previous life as Will Schuester, McKinley High Spanish Teacher, but he did tremendously enjoy creating fear in the hearts of ill-advised children.

The next chip grazed his left bicep and he felt the burning sensation of his muscles quickly regenerating, the pain seeping into him and fueling him as he brought his fist swiftly back, then forcefully forward, landing with a crushing blow against Kan's temple. Schue stepped back, watching with almost thoughtful reverence as Kan stumbled backwards in a daze. He paused and shocked the hell out of the fight spectators as he _waited_ for Kan's next move.

"HIT HIM A-FUCKING-GAIN!" Tina shrieked angrily.

Schue threw a reproving glance Tina's way and then looked back at Kan just as another poker chip flew from the boy's fingers. Kan's entire sense of balance was off, and his aim, which had never been anything less than 100% true, was now completely off. It struck Sam square in the thigh.

Sam hissed in pain and bent nearly in half, trying to pull the damn thing out when General Benson rushed towards him barking her orders, "Don't think about pulling that out. That could have hit a major artery. I really don't know that the doctors can handle another nearly dieing patient at the moment."

Tina placed her hand on Sam's thigh where the poker chip was embedded and took a deep breath in preparation. Mike reached out instinctively and gripped Sam's hand while warning,

"Hold on buddy. This is going to be painful."

"MOTHERFUCKER!" Sam howled as Tina simultaneously ripped the sharp chip from Sam's thigh, slicing her own fingers in the process, then gripped the generously bleeding wound on Sam's leg with her hand. The intense pain rocketed through him as Tina worked double time to heal both of their wounds.

"POWER'S ON!" Brittany cried excitedly from inside the operating room.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Kurt mumbled with real gratitude and excitement as he felt that connection between himself and the newly powered technology kick back in. It felt strange though, and he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

Rachel swayed on her feet and was steadied by Blaine. She blinked rapidly as her energies refocused after keeping Artie afloat for so long. She looked to Kurt and ordered in a hushed whisper, "Go to the hallway and tell them to _stop_."

"What? How? What? Where? WHO?" Finn stared at Rachel dumbly and then back to a visibly paling Kurt. The protective step-brother shook his head at his ex-girlfriend and said, "No way, Rachel. NO. He's not going out there. There are flying poker chips of death out there!"

"Finnessa, HEEL," Santana ordered. "Rachel wouldn't send Kurt out there if she didn't know it was the right thing to do."

Blaine nodded in agreement then looked down to Rachel and asked quietly, "You do know its the right thing to do, right?"

"I saw, in Artie's..." Rachel nodded. "Kurt gets it to stop."

The sound in the room went out completely, even the hustle and bustle of the doctors working diligently on Artie faded away. Every eye not currently involved in the surgery turned towards Kurt who was trying very hard not to tremble like a leaf and failing miserably at doing so. There was an insane person outside the busted and burnt through doorway, throwing _poker chips of death_ at his friends and **HE** was supposed to stop it. Not the fire guy. Not the indestructible people. Not Rachel with all of her inherited abilities.

"Couldn't I just conjure up a million dollars instead?" Kurt wondered.

"You can do it," Blaine said softly, his hand finding Kurt's and clutching it in his own. Hazel eyes found blue and a confidence and pride seemed to beam directly into Kurt, warming his body like a shot of potent liquor. "Just go and tell him to stop."

"Let's go fancy-pants," Puck ordered gruffly, clasping a hand on Kurt's shoulder with surprising gentleness. Puck nodded his head briefly at Blaine and said, "I'll take good care of your-"

"If you finish that sentence with _girl_, I'll find a way to convince Rachel that sex is the worst thing on the face of the planet," Kurt whispered speedily.

"I'll take good care of your _Kurt_," Puck clarified as the hand not currently on Kurt's shoulder lit up in a ball of flames. He turned and marched himself and Kurt towards the door he had previously blasted open and threw out a warning volley of fire balls, missing Schuester by barely an inch. Puck smirked and threw out nonchalantly, "Mi apologio Senor Schuester."

"Hanabi-baka!" Kan growled and threw a fistful of poker chips in the air.

Tina scuttled in front of Kurt and Puck just as Sam flew in the air and Mike bent his entire body as quickly as possible to avoid the possible carnage. Puck ignored the imminent threat of severe lacerations however and turned his head back into the makeshift operating room and asking obnoxiously,

"Brain one or brain two, please tell me what the Swiss Army knife just said!"

"You did _not_ just refer to the mother of your child as BRAIN TWO!" Santana scoffed at him from inside.

"She's number wah, duh," Puck countered as a poker chip whizzed over the top of his head, snipping centimeters off of his mohawk. He turned back to Kan with wild, angry eyes as he growled, "WATCH THE HAWK, BLADES OF GLORY!"

"Your fucking friends are getting flayed out here and you're only worried about your mo-hawk?" Tina shrieked at him. She stood firmly in front of Kurt, batting away poker chips that were coming too close with her bare hands. The pain fueled her fury as she screamed at their attacker, "YOU MOTHERFUCKER I WILL SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS AND ROTATE IT REPEATEDLY!"

Kurt winced as Tina took yet another poker chip in the palm of her hand. He watched as Kan wildly threw out sharp disc after sharp disc, as if there were literally no end to his supply of deadly weapons. Sam was the first to fall, running out of room to evade. Mike followed quickly after, and Tina shrieked again, and was very tempted to bolt from her protective stance in front of Kurt. She paused though, clearly conflicted at what she should do. Rachel dashed into the hallway followed quickly by Quinn, who threw up a wall of protective light as Rachel rushed to Sam and worked on his injuries. Tina took advantage of Quinn's force field and sprinted to Mike to heal the lacerations across his body.

Schue was the only one left outside of the bubble, and he leaps towards Kan again, showing zero mercy as his fists repeatedly met Kan's temples. The violence was vicious. _Brutal_. Kurt watched through the blue haze of Quinn's force field, flinching every time his former choir director's fist met the side of the intruder's head. Kurt felt an overwhelming need to vomit at the amount of violence. And actually bit his fist when Kan's hands gripped Schue's shirt, repeating his actions that had been so successful with Mike earlier. The seemingly harmless thread in Schue's white t-shirt turned into vicious tiny blades and quickly shredded against his skin.

The pain of the cuts did nothing, but the constant healing of each tiny incision caused the man to flinch and wince slightly. It was the sight of the impervious man wincing that did it for Kurt.

"STOP THIS. STOP NOW!" Kurt screeched.

Kan took Schue's momentary pause to reach into his pockets once more and grab another handful of poker chips. He threw them all behind Schue's head towards the force field with all the murderous intent he could muster.

Quinn braced herself and quickly tried to count the intensely sharp objects coming her way, wondering if she could hold firm in her protection. She could do it. She knew it. Sam's safety. Rachel's safety. Everyone's safety depended on it.

But as it turned out. No one needed her that badly.

The poker chips clattered to the ground noisily. Not with the sound of blades. But with the sound of plastic discs hitting the floor.

Kurt's eyes widened as Kan continued to try to throw blades and it quickly became evident that all of his efforts were futile. He looked to Schue in horrified amazement just in time for the man's fist to come slamming down violently against his skull one last time, rendering him completely unconscious.

Kurt looked to Puck then back at a grinning Blaine and whispered in amazement, "And now I really wish for that million dollars."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Action-y, yes? Thanks again for stopping by! Happy Memorial Day Weekend for those in the States! Next up?

Chapter 61 - "You'll Miss the Wonders of the Younger"


	61. Chapter 61

Howdy! Here's another chapter of Misfit Toy Hero Squad! YAY! Happy summer to everyone. 3 Thanks for the awesome responses. As always, you're the best readers ever.

The chapter lyric is taken from the song "Wonders of the Younger" from the band Plain White T's. I hope that you enjoy!

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

**Chapter 61 - "_You'll Miss the Wonders of the Younger_"**

* * *

_If the powers of our intrepid band of singing heroes were presented to a blind group study, 78% of the respondents that were of average intelligence and also in the lower age range would reply that the ability to control fire was the most dangerous of all the powers._

_100% of those 78% are idiots._

_Others would of course point towards the Mind and her ability to control the other powers and other mortal's AND immortal's emotions and actions would be the most dangerous. The approximate number is 15%. _

_Which means that 78% plus 15% are idiots._

_Another 6% will chose other powers and prove that they are also idiots._

_One sole percentage point will be left standing tall, proud, exceptionally intelligent and much older than the rest of the 99 percentage points. _

_The answer box they checked under the question entitled "Super Power that is the most deadly and dangerous"?_

_The ability to see the future._

* * *

"Is he okay?"

"Shhhhhh."

"He looks sort of pale. And tired. And pale. I don't think he's okay. I wish my mom was here."

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

"Stop telling me to sssshhhh, one, its at a significantly louder decibel than what I was talking at and two its rude."

"You are such a priss, Rudolpho. You sound like my mom. Oh wait, Uncle Artie is waking up."

"What do you mean, I sound like your mom? Ade, that's just. MEAN. Sometimes I think Aunt Santana's DNA got mixed up with yours instead of-"

"What-Ade?" Artie brokenly whispered as he felt his body coming into full consciousness. He blinked his eyes open groggily and blurrily surveyed his surroundings.

Peering down at him were two young people, roughly his own age. The girl with a wide grin and mischievous hazel doe eyes, long dark fringe falling to the side of her face. Ade. It sounded so familiar to Artie's subconscious and she looked so very familiar, but he couldn't quite place her. He turned to the other person staring down at him. A young man about aged 16, with a hair color that was such a mix up of sandy blonde, red and brown that it was actually indefinable but was certainly long and scruffy enough to try to cover his unfortunately sized ears.

"Oh damn," Artie mumbled as his eyes focused on the boy's eyes. Big and bright and blue, with a hint all the trust in the world in the energetic and always surprisingly wise depths. He knew those eyes. He _ loved_ those eyes.

"Uhm...you're freaking him out Rudy," Ade whispered. "STOP IT."

"I'm not doing anything!" Rudy proclaimed his innocence with a troubled pout.

"Oh damn damn damn," Artie whispered. He looked at Rudy curiously and apologized with a slightly amused expression, "I can't believe I let Brittany name our kid Rudolpho. Damn."

* * *

"WHAT IN THE HELL, KATE? I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT YOU HAD EVERYTHING PERFECT!"

"I_ did_, Will! Kindly keep your voice down and show me a modicum of respect in front of the children!"

Twelve super-powered Gleeks looked up from their vigil by Artie's bedside that they had converged upon as soon as Schuester had incapacitated Kan. It was as if Artie's prone and still body that the doctors were intently working on had been due north to each of their compasses. They had immediately focused on getting him through the surgery, leaving their choir director alone in the hall with the unconscious attacker and a flabbergasted United States General. They had never seen Will so angry with another adult before, not even Sue Sylvester.

"He wants to bang her against a wall," Santana muttered observantly.

"Ten bucks says that we catch them at it within the week," Blaine nodded.

"My crew's so smart," Puck nodded in appreciation.

"_YOUR_ crew?" Santana scoffed as once again Schuester and the General began shouting at each other in the hall.

"His vital thingies look really good," Brittany smiled as she read the machines with ease. She smiled at the still flustered doctors. "Thanks for doing a really great job so far even with the sharp stuff flying at your heads. Keep doing that...without the sharp stuff."

"MERCEDES!" Schuester shouted from the hallway. "Come and look at this."

Mercedes hesitated and looked at Artie and the doctors and finally Rachel. For her part, she looked dogged and determined as she clutched Puck's hand and smiled back tiredly at Mercedes. "Go ahead, take Finn. We're okay," Rachel promised.

Mercedes and Finn made their way to the hallway where Schue was literally stepping on a completely comatose Kan, his right foot on the boy's windpipe threateningly as he screamed at General Benson with righteous indignation.

"Those kids could have died. Artie could have died on that table due to someone you brought in here!" Schue shouted. "Then Rachel would have died. And do you know what happens then?"

Mercedes and Finn stole a glance at one another and both knew what happened if Rachel ever died. They _all_ died. Well, except for Mr. Schuester and Tina. They'd probably survive the Puck supernova. They looked back with fondness at their choir director and waited for the conclusion to a hopefully heartwarming speech.

"I assume we all die?" General Benson rolled her eyes.

"Like I give one small damn about that. It means I never figure a way out of this!" Schue grumbled. "At least not for the better part of the next century at least."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and Finn sighed heavily. It was seriously hard to make the adjustment in dealing with the real Will Schuester and his rage and selfishness.

"Mr. Schue? You wanted me for something? Cause we could go back into the room and actually be doing something worthwhile," Mercedes rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, like NOT watching weird fighting foreplay," Finn mumbled.

"Look at this and tell me what you see," Will thrust a handful of official looking documents towards Mercedes and Finn. He then went right back to staring daggers at General Benson. "The good general over here seems to think that all the paper work was in order for her medical staff she brought to the party."

"Uhm, okay. This is good. Looks legit," Mercedes paged through the papers, skimming them quickly. She paused and looked up in confusion then back down. "This is a Chinese food menu."

"Excellent," Schue scoffed. "Wonderful job, General."

"Its not her fault, it looks like the rest of the papers to me," Finn shrugged.

"So we have someone who can manipulate objects, great," Will blew out in exasperation.

"And there's the problem, Will," General Benson said evenly. "If your crew had completely forthcoming regarding the threats hanging over your heads, perhaps I could have planned accordingly."

"Oh, so this is our fault for not trusting an evil, soul sucking government?" Schue laughed, slightly maniacally. "Oh, I'm sorry, I spent a couple CENTURIES being screwed over by you bastards. I'll just conveniently forget about it and tell you all of our secrets."

"I don't want to know everything about you, but perhaps the fact that there are other powers out there that don't exactly want you breathing would have been a nice start!" General Benson snapped back.

"The doctors say that they're finishing up," Mike announced as he bent his body out of the room into the hallway. "Keep it down to a low roar, can you?"

"When they're finished, and your kids blip us out of here, I expect to be brought back tomorrow. I expect to have FULL disclosure," General Benson insisted angrily. She looked down at Kan and said, "Get your foot off the kid's throat. I'd like to get some info out of him, and if his vocal chords are mangled, that's not going to be very easy."

* * *

"Sorry Dad. Younger Dad. This is strange."

Artie nodded and winced as he tried to struggle into a sitting position. He found it incredibly painful as he tried to work his head around what was happening.

"Am I in the future?" he mumbled.

"Not really?" Rudy shrugged.

"Am I dead?" Artie wondered, feeling way too much pain. There was no way this was heaven. He looked down and realized he was feeling a _lot_ of pain. Everywhere. _**Everywhere**_.

"No, its sort of an in-between space that Adelaide figured out," Rudy shrugged towards Adelaide, throwing her a shy look of admiration.

"Don't look at me that way, perv. I'm telling my dad once we're all back to normal," Adelaide rolled her eyes. "He's going to light your butt on fire again."

"Hold on...back to normal? Whaaaa?" Artie wondered, looking down at his feet. His throbbing and aching feet.

"Oh, yeah. Something about how we messed stuff up by messing with the past and now we're pulling a total Michael J. Foxy and aren't going to exist. We need some help with that, Uncle Artie," Adelaid rattled off with a shrug. "To be fair, no one ever told us not to go traipsing back into the past to try to rescue you all from an evil underground super-powered organization, sooooo...anyway. We need your help."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

So. Some developments. And new character. YAY! I love time travel. Also Doctor Who.

Next chapter? Chapter 62 - "What if I'd never been born fifteen years before you?"


	62. Chapter 62

Hello all! Thanks as always for the encouragement to keep writing this crazy story! I hope that you enjoy this short chapter.

The chapter lyric is taken from Ben Folds "The Luckiest".

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

**Chapter 62 - "_What if I'd never been born fifteen years before you?_" **

* * *

_Say you're driving in the morning, and you smell some sort of delicious aroma in the air. Cookies. Or Bacon. Or something you, gentle reader, find exceptionally delicious. You have one small whiff of that bacon cookie and suddenly, for the next eighteen hours, its all you can think about. It's all you want. It's the one thing that will make your life complete._

_Your whole day will be devoted to thinking about the bacon cookie. You will salivate at random points throughout the day, and perhaps a classmate or co-worker will catch you wiping a bit of drool from the side of your mouth. You will of course, have to explain, and be quite embarrassed, but your embarrassment will not stop you from fantasizing about your bacon cookie._

_You will dream about making, buying, licking, nibbling, devouring the bacon cookie for three quarters of your day. (Note, if you are are an athletic, creative teenager, the remaining quarter of your day will be spent thinking about sex on bacon cookie days. If you are not an athletic, creative teenager, the remaining quarter of your day will be spent thinking about mad libs). Your entire being will be fixated upon the bacon cookie. You will plot out every aspect of acquiring said bacon cookie, it will consume you._

_On days such as these, the bacon cookie shall not be yours. If you had not gotten that one hypnotizing whiff earlier in the day, perhaps fat would have been kind and smiled down upon you and gifted you with your heart's and stomach's desire through blessed serendipity. However, as we have often discussed, fate is a cruel and unforgiving mistress. The more you want the bacon cookie, the less likely you are to acquire it._

* * *

"Do you sort of understand, Uncle Artie?"

Artie looked up to the future daughter of Puckleberry with nothing less than one hundred percent full and pure confusion on his face. He looked around at the blank white room hoping that something familiar would pop up. Anything familiar at all. Because the pain in his legs and feet were definitely not familiar. It wasn't entirely unwelcome, but it was bewildering. The pain coupled with seeing his future son in the flesh was a bit too much to handle. Adelaide sighed and shrugged, knowing that she could do no better than what she had done. She looked to Rudy and said,

"I wish Aunt Brittany were still here."

"Still here?" Artie repeated. "What?"

"Mom!" Rudy clapped his hands together enthusiastically, resembling very much his mother, Brittany. "That's what we'll do."

"I don't like the way your mind is clicking and whirring," Adelaide said seriously. She furrowed her brow and shook her head in absolute denial. "NO WAY, RUDY! NO! This is how it all started to begin with!"

"We have to do this, Ade, this is the only way," Rudy insisted strongly. He held out his hand expectantly, the look on his face nearly identical to Brittany when she was pleading for something or being generally adorable. It seemed to work on Adelaide Pukerman as she sighed deeply and put her hand in his.

"Uncle Artie," Adelaide said with all the dulcet tones and softness she had inherited from her mother. She smirked slightly, which was pure Puck as she said, "Try to let me explode your brain, and don't pay attention to what I'm about to do."

"What are you about to do-"

The last thing Artie heard before passing out was his own screams of pain.

* * *

"Artie!' Rachel gasped as she flew into a sitting position.

Puck was quick to wake as well, bleary-eyed and tired from their fun-filled surgery day. He was disoriented as he asked, "You okay, Sparky? What's wrong? Is it the baby, is it time?"

"Noah, we have another four to five months before we have to worry about it being _time_," Rachel patiently explained. "We have to get downstairs. Something is wrong with Artie."

"Okay, let me get my-"

Puck didn't get to finish before Rachel gripped his bicep and whooshed them through time and space, straight into Artie's room, where Brittany and Santana were freaking out by his bedside. Rachel went to them, and reached a hand out to Artie's shoulder, hoping that her touch could get through to him and calm him somehow. The poor boys body was shaking and Rachel closed her eyes and focused on Mike and Tina, hoping to get some reinforcements into the room just in case Artie's body was failing.

"Babe?" Puck demanded.

"Not now, darling," Rachel mumbled as she closed her eyes and connected with Artie, realizing that his physical reaction wasn't about his well being. His body was fine, his heart, his nervous system, everything was fine. It was his mind.

"I'm here...woah," Tina put her hand over her mouth, unwilling and unable to look away.

"Dude!" Mike chastised.

"Michael, not now, Tina, come here please and keep Artie completely stable while I retrieve something that is causing his mind the duress," Rachel ordered.

Tina did as she was told and gripped Artie's wrist, focusing on his pulse point. Rachel closed her eyes and delved into Artie's troubled mind. It was mere moments to those in the room, but it felt like eons to Rachel. She saw a million images, some of the risque, some of the certainly dangerous, some of them both. It became repetitive after a while. She waded through prophecies that had not been made yet. Glimpses of events that had not yet occurred until she found what she was looking for.

She gasped as she pulled back and looked around. Artie's shaking stopped and his body calmed completely. Rachel furrowed her brow and spoke the troubling bit that had put Artie in such a dangerous state, "Don't forget Rachel."

"How could we?" Santana scoffed. "You gave us naked Puck."

"I-what?"

"RACH, baby, zip me back to our room!" Puck begged, holding a pillow over his more risque parts.

She had zipped them both there right out of bed. And Puck had clearly been sleeping in his normal pajamas, i.e., his birthday suit. Rachel turned scarlet and Puck could tell that she was too stunned to react.

"Kudos, Rae-rae!" Tina giggled.

"Tina!" Mike scolded.

"Oh please, like we all haven't seen it before," Santana scoffed.

"If Gay Puck were here, he'd zip me to pants," Puck grumbled, looking at Rachel pointedly.

"Wrong," Brittany disputed.

Puck turned around, displaying his bare behind to a blissfully unconscious Artie in addition to everyone at Artie's bedside to see a smirking Blaine and a furiously blushing Kurt at the front door to Artie's room.

"Nice straight Blaine," Blaine gave him a double thumbs up. "Very nice."

* * *

"Do you think it worked?" Rudy whispered as he and Adelaide sat side by side in their safe place. He nudged her with his shoulder as she zoned off in her thoughts. She shook herself out of her daze and looked up at him with a soft smile. "Everything is going to go back to normal now, right?"

Adelaide smiled up at Rudy and couldn't help but shrug and say softly, "All of our hope lays with your mom. I hope that Aunt Brittany can figure it out."

"My mom was-is brilliant," Rudy faltered in his words, feeling his heart ache. He couldn't help the way his nose scrunched as he felt the overwhelming emotions take over. "It's going to be okay, right Ade?"

Adelaide pushed her body up on her elbows and wiggled closer to Rudy, placing her head on his shoulder. She smiled as she felt his arm go around and pull her close. She bit he lip before she whispered resolutely, "It is all going to work out. Everything is going to go back to the way it was. I promise. We're both still here. And I will _never_ leave you."

* * *

Coming up:

Chapter 63 - "Going Down the Rabbit Hole, Taken Away From All We Know"


	63. Chapter 63

Hello again! Thanks very much for the warm welcome back.

The chapter title lyric is taken from Adam Lambert's "Down the Rabbit Hole"

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

**Chapter 63 - "_Going Down the Rabbit Hole, Taken Away From All We Know_" **

* * *

_Once upon a time, in a kingdom very far away..._

_There lived. There were a group of. _

_99.9% of something was once something._

_The most important whatchamawhosits is a thingamajig._

…

…

…

_We apologize for the inconvenience, but the narrator has forgotten the point they were trying to make._

* * *

"How is Artie doing?"

Will looked up at the genuine concern in General Benson's voice. He rubbed a hand over his eyes in an aggravated matter, before crossing his arms in front of himself defensively as he leaned back in the well-cushioned seats of the conference room of the underground training facility that Rachel had transported from Ohio to Massachusetts. He paused for longer than necessary as the General was clearly waiting with one tiny ounce of patience at his dramatics.

"He's as well as can be expected, seeing as we only have Mrs. Puckerman as a nurse and a combination of Rachel, Tina and Brittany as our doctor," Schue said tersely.

"I had the staff from last night ready to come with me. Rachel only transported me here. I'm assuming that was on your advice," Benson said with tight-lipped annoyance.

"Seeing as some of the kids have quite a few new scars from your Chinese delivery boy from last night," Schue shrugged. "I figured it was better to keep the security risks to a minimum."

"The rest of the medical team was _fine_," Benson reminded the testy immortal, whom she knew would not listen to reason. "Might I remind you that you insisted on keeping Kan here? If you truly had the kids' best interests at heart, then maybe you should have let me take him to a secure facility."

"You think you and a bunch of government baboons could have handled the kid? He can turn any object in his hands into blades," Schue reminded her with a scoff.

"You'd be amazed at what a well-loaded gun and a syringe full of sedative can do, Mr. Schuester," Benson said gruffly.

"Actually, I probably know more about a well-loaded government gun and loads of full syringes than you could possibly imagine," Schue said coldly, his statement said so forcefully and with such conviction that it left no room to argue.

Kate Benson bite back any retort she could have half-heartedly thrown at him and put the Chinese take-out menu that someone had slipped into the medical team's paperwork. She tapped it with her finger and wondered with an almost soft curiosity, "We have one brain dead boy in your medical facilities that was capable of acidic plasma bursts. You have another unconscious boy who can make anything he touches incredibly sharp. And you have someone who can apparently place an illusion over objects, making a person see anything that they want."

"That's only three," Schue acknowledged. "We have no idea what else is waiting for us."

"Are you absolutely _positive_ that you have NO idea of what else is waiting for us?" Kate asked bluntly, surveying Schuester very carefully. "In order to help, in order to keep these kids..."

"The kids you and the government see as incredibly valuable weapons," Schue reminded her.

"I may see these kids as investments and some of the greatest soldiers that the United States have to offer, but I also see them as children that I want to protect," Kate clarified. "I can think both of these things."

"I don't know anything," Schuester lied neatly. "Not a thing."

"Then fine. I have something for the kids to take a look at, a mission that should be do-able without Artie or Brittany," Kate pushed aside the Chinese food menu and passed a none too thick file Schue's way. "It shouldn't be more than a few minutes considering what Blaine is capable of. Also, the time frame shouldn't kick in for a few weeks, they have plenty of time to prepare. I don't think it wise to send them out so soon with everything that's been happening."

"Wouldn't it be a better idea not to send them out at all?" Schue countered. A very slow smirk spread across his face and he obnoxiously put out, "Ah, but then we wouldn't be getting our tax dollars worth out of the little freaks."

"I wish there was some one else I could talk to here besides you, someone who might see reason beyond their clouded conspiracy theory glasses," Benson shook her head.

Schue furrowed his brow, wondering if Benson seriously thought he was in charge here. Any fool could see that Rachel essentially ran the whole show.

"I should get going. I have to debrief the President at noon regarding last night's surgery, and ensuing blade-like madness," Benson said evenly. "It would be a lot easier to explain if I could take Kan with me."

"Not going to happen, General," Schue resolutely denied her request.

"Okay, fine. I'll see you tomorrow, same time, same place. Can you get..."Benson faltered.

Schue looked at her blankly, although the longer she paused, the more curious his expression became. He could feel a panic rising up within him with each passing moment of frustrated silence from the General as she clearly was struggling to remember something.

To remember _Rachel_.

"Is your meeting over? Is that our file? Thank you, it will do us good to have a tiny break from all of the other madness," Rachel breezed through the room, a bundle of energy that in no way resembled a pregnant girl who had been through the wringer the day before. She looked through the file quickly before smiling up at the General and saying, "Have a pleasant trip, General. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Wait-"

Rachel blipped the General out of the room and looked curiously to Mr. Schuester.

"Were you not fnished?" Rachel wondered amiably.

"She probably wanted to try to get you to give her Kan," Schue shrugged, cautiously guarding his mind from Rachel, who at this point could likely wander through any of the Gleek's minds without really knowing she was doing it.

"Oh, absolutely not!" Rachel scoffed. "They couldn't handle him unless they kept him in a vegetative state."

"That's what I told her," Schue nodded. He watched as Rachel nodded in agreement, before flouncing her way out of the conference room. He watched her go with a pensive expression taking over his face. "This is not good."

* * *

"This is not good."

"What's not good?" Puck demanded as he took a seat in between Blaine and Rachel. He rolled his eyes as Santana plopped down on the other side of Rachel, cuddling up indiscriminately against the mother of his child.

"Finn's hungry," Mercedes answered.

"How's that new?" Santana scoffed, easing an arm over Rachel's shoulders, moving slowly so as not to disturb the mohawked caveman sitting on Rachel's opposite side. "The doofus hasn't stopped shoveling industrial bulk sized portions into his mouth since last December. Hell, even before that. I've seen him eat three quarters of a cow before with his bare hands."

"HEY!" Finn disputed.

"Finnessa, what happened that night after our special and forgettable time together in the motel?" Santana demanded.

"We ate burgers," Finn answered quietly. "Oh. Yeah."

"Yeah," Santana shivered, remembering what a post-coital Finn had managed to cram into his mouth. She cuddled next to Rachel and said, "Good thing you never had to witness that, Baby Mamma."

"Satan. That's not your baby, it's mine," Puck reminded her helpfully.

"I'd like to think that it is kind of mine, explain lady fabulous Santana," Santana nodded towards a grinning Blaine.

"Seeing as the three of us are sort of interchangeable," Blaine began.

"Completely interchangeable," Tina clarified.

"No thank you!" Kurt said in a sing-song voice. He smirked at Santana and said, "No offense, San."

"None taken, you don't like tacos. More for me," Santana grinned, squeezing Rachel extra hard.

"Hands, Santana," Rachel hissed forcefully as Santana's one armed hug was drifting towards the chestal area.

"Can't help it," Santana brushed off the warning.

"Are we going to have a meeting, or are we going to watch Santana sexually harass Rachel for an hour?" Quinn wondered.

"Don't be jealous Q, I'll totally do you too," Santana shrugged.

"I, for one, can not wait until Artie wakes up," Rachel sighed, removing herself from Santana's greedy grasp.

"Artie doesn't control me!" Santana scoffed.

"Yes, he does," Blaine and Puck chorused together.

"Dammit. What's the point in having a triplet brain trust if you pussies don't back me the fuck up?" Santana demanded hotly.

"Can we PLEASE get food? Oh, Chinese! Let's order Chinese guys!" Finn said eagerly, going from annoyed and starving to joyous and eager in a flash. He held up the Chinese menu that had been on top of the folder that General Benson had left behind with a look a manic desperation. "It's been so long since I had a Chinese food..."

"We aren't ordering out for food," Mercedes broke the news to Finn gently. He gave her a confused look and said, "I'm sure the kitchen can make anything you find on that menu. And I mean, we have the Chang Changs."

"HEY!" Mike and Tina chorused together.

"It's not racist if its true!" Mercedes disputed. "Tina's Aunt runs a Chinese restaurant in West Lima and Mike's grandfather ran a Chinese restaurant in East Lima. Go ahead and try and tell me that you two don't know how to make a little Moo Goo Gai Pan?"

"Racist," Mike narrowed his eyes at Mercedes.

"Totally racist," Tina did her best to imitate Mike's impression before giggling. "But yeah, by Mom can make you anything you want."

"Combination platter 5 through 10, please," Finn smiled before handing the menu to Mercedes, who wrote down the descriptions of what Finn wanted and added her own order before passing it along the large conference table. He sighed and said, "Sometimes take out is better though."

"We can't do takeout," Mercedes explained patiently. "What with all the threats finding their way in here, do you really think its a good idea that we add the pizza man to it?"

"Awww PIZZA!" Finn whined. He looked up and said, "Don't you think we could get pizza just once...Ra-uhm..."

The entire room got quiet as Finn stared across the table with a bemused expression on his face as he stared at Rachel. The silence stretched into a full minute as Finn's expression lost all the playfulness it had before and a dreadful, _angry_ confusion took its place as he looked at Rachel as if she were a total stranger.

"Rachel!" Schuester called out loudly from down the hall. His booming voice loud enough to startle everyone out of their reverie, except for Finn, who was still staring at Rachel, now clearly in some sort of pain.

"KAN'S AWAKE!"

Rachel rushed from the room, followed quickly by Tina, Puck following directly behind. They rushed into the room to see their ex-choir director physically restraining the young man who still looked too weak to do any damage. Kan smiled though at the sight of Rachel.

"Has it begun?" he wondered.

"Has what begun?" Rachel wondered.

"The work of my people. Do you know to fear the Shiro Frieden now, little nameless girl?" Kan asked softly. "Its going to kill you."

"Nobody is going to touch her," Puck growled protectively from Rachel's side.

"No one will," Kan agreed. "Not one of you. Oji-san knows-"

Schue took a measured breath before pulling back his fist and connecting it with a ridiculous amount of force against Kan's right temple, rendering him unconscious.

"What are you doing?" Rachel demanded from her teacher angrily. "He was _talking_, we could have gotten information from him!"

"Nothing of any use. He's a distraction. He was sent here to distract us while something else did the real work," Schue shook his head.

"What was doing the real work?" Tina furrowed her brow, sending a confused look Puck's way. She shook her head in confusion as Puck refused to meet her eyes, instead, he was staring at Rachel as if he were in clear pain. As if he were fighting something with all the strength of mind he had. She looked back to Schuester and demanded with more anxious panic, "What's going on, Mr. Schue?"

Rachel gasped and turned on her heel, rushing towards the conference room. She stood in the doorway as her friends laughed and chatted with each other, ignorant of her presence for the time being. Tina was at her side once again and she whispered,

"Rae? What's going on? Why are you so...you're scared. Why are you scared?"

"Sweetie, come here and tell Finn the truth about egg rolls, tell them they're made of cabbage!" Mike demanded. His dazzling smile changed slightly, turned more friendly than playful as he looked at Rachel. "Who is your friend?"

"What?" Tina whispered. "It's Rachel. You know that."

"Oh, nice to meet you...uhm," Mike furrowed his brow. "Who is your friend, sweetie?"

"That's not funny, Mike," Tina shook her head. "What game are you guys playing?"

"Rachel!" Puck called out from the middle of the hallway, he stumbled as he tried to walk towards her. "RACHEL!"

Rachel turned away from the room of curious people who were supposed to be her friends, who were supposed to be _her family_. She turned to face Puck, who was sweating, his face flushed, tears squeezing out of the corners of his eyes as he looked at her desperately.

"I don't want to forget. Why am I forgetting?" Puck demanded harshly. "What's happening, Sparky? What's going on?"

"Noah," Rachel breathed. "I don't know what's happening. They've, they don't know who I am..."

"I'm forgetting," Puck whipsered. "I don't want to forget. Fix it. Tina! Fix me. I don't want to forget!"

Tina whimpered as she stood helplessly, watching as Puck began struggling to breathe. Harsh gasps echoed throughout the hallway and his face reddened even further as he reached for Rachel wordlessly.

"I don't want to forget. I won't. I won't forget," Puck gasped between harsh intakes of air.

"It's killing him!" Schue warned from the opposite end of the hallway. "He can't fight it. He'll _die_ Rachel."

"Forget me," Rachel said instantly, reaching out and placing a hand over Puck's heart. "Forget us NOW, Noah."

"NO!" Puck gritted out through clenched teeth. "I won't!"

"Noah, please, if you die..." Rachel whimpered. "I'll find a way. I'll find a way to get you to remember. I'll come back to you. Just...Please!"

Puck shook his head obstinately, even as he felt his heart hammering against his stroke as his brain began shutting everything in his body down. Rachel could feel it, he was dying. Dying to hold on to her memory. She looked to Tina desperately and her friend nodded grimly, walking towards the pair and bracing herself as she brought her leg up and connected her Doc Martin boot against the side of Puck's skull, wincing as he hit the ground unconscious. Schue rushed up to the girls and a prone Puck and checked his vitals.

"He'll be okay. His breathing is back to normal," Schuester revealed. "The idiot was trying to fight it."

"The idiot?" Tina whispered as Rachel whimpered with tears, reaching out to touch Puck's face.

In a flash, Tina had fistfuls of Schue's collar as she slammed his body against the wall. She glared at him and demanded, "You know something, Schuester. TELL US. _Now_."

"Uhm, guys? Keep it down out here, Artie is trying to sleep!" Brittany called out from the doorway of the room that Artie was sleeping peacefully in. She furrowed her brow at the scene before her and demanded, "Uhm, Rachel? Why are you on the ground? And who knocked out Puck this time?"

* * *

Next up:

Chapter 64 - "Have You Completely Erased Berry from Your Memory?"


	64. Chapter 64

Good evening, gentle readers. Big thank you to all of you still reading! I think you're all awesome!

Song lyric taken from Adele's "Don't You Remember?" Natch.

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

**Chapter 64 - "_Have You Completely Erased Berry from Your Memory?_" **

* * *

_There is a place in the human mind where forgotten things live. It's that bit of gray matter furtherest away from your eyes, making it the darkest and most depressing area of the human brain. Physics equations, D-list celebrity names, your mother's birthday, the entirety of your years zero through three and a half all reside in the squalor of the lost and found box of human memory._

_As you get older, the place of forgotten things gets quite full. Eventually, you're cramming decades worth of forgotten information into your brain, some of it very big stuff. It gets so cramped and dense in there that every once in a while something will slip out and come to the forefront again. It's usually an inconsequential matter like all the lyrics of a song you listened to five times in a row when you were eight because your cousin Jana just had to listen to it over, and over, and over again. _

_However, when something pretty large is forced into there, the iron bars to the cage of your memories usually becomes more like walls of wet paper bags._

* * *

"DUDE! Where've you been? You missed Chinese food!"

Puck walked into the gym-like training facility of their underground lair and smirked at Finn as the giant doofus missed his layup. The mohawked boy shrugged and admitted.

"I was in the infirmary. Ma made sure I got Chinese food AND pudding cups," Puck bragged.

"Man! I want pudding cups!" Finn whined. He turned to Mercedes, who was trying in vain to spin the basketball on her small index finger. He smiled winningly at his girlfriend and wondered, "Cedes? Can we go to the kitchen and get pudding cups?"

"Britts said we had to stay in here!" Santana reminded him as she filed at her nails needlessly. "Remember? We can't go running around cause of that girl...what's her face?"

Everyone got a similar look of confused concentration on their faces as they tried to recall just why Brittany and Coach Sylvester had ordered them to stay in the training room. They could vaguely recall the face, but not the name. Nothing was coming to them and Santana finally shrugged, "Yentl or whatever."

"I'm going to all her Babs," Kurt announced. Blaine gave him a funny look and Kurt shrugged in response. "The schnoz."

"Well, I'm going to call her Puck's," Blaine insisted.

"What? She hot?" Puck wondered aloud.

"If I were into that," Blaine acknowledged.

"I'd hit it," Santana shrugged, although they all knew by now that her admission said little to nothing of the mystery girl's personality, morals, or availability. "She is Puck's type though. Good peg, ladyfabulous-Santana."

"I'm awesome," Blaine nodded.

"I'm _hungry_," Finn whined.

"I'm _**bored,**_" Puck rolled. His eyes. "I've been here two minutes and you dumbasses have managed to bore me to death already. How have I survived the last few months here, anyway? Like, legit, I should be dead on the floor of boredom from you boring mother fuckers."

"I could go find Tina so she can kick your ass again," Mike shrugged with an amused smirk pulling at the corners of his lips. "I mean, it's been like eight hours since she knocked you out today, you're kind of due."

"Changster, why don't you shut your trap and go make me some more egg rolls?" Puck rolled his eyes.

"Racism is never funny, Puck," Mike scolded.

"Whatever. PEACE, I'm gonna go find some fun," Puck declared as he strolled back towards the doorway.

"PUCK!" Quinn yelled. "Don't go, Coach Sylvester said we had to stay here!"

"Brittany used her mean face to make sure we'd stay!" Sam called out as well.

The blonde duo's warnings went unheeded as Puck breezed back out of the door. He seriously didn't give one tiny turd about Sue Sylvester's warnings. He may be slightly worried about what Brittany would do or say. She did have a giant robot under her control. A giant robot that had tried to kill him on occasion, no less. Seriously, it might have taken them all out had it not been for-

Hold on. What? He stopped mid-stride in the hallway and struggled to remember where his train of thought had been going. All he could suddenly remember was that the symbol for Holmium was Ho. He chuckled and began walking back down the hallway, in serious need of fun. If he was reaching into his random and inappropriate Chemistry knowledge, it could only mean that he needed a serious distraction from his brain. It was just like last week, when he had been cramming for the GED that he _seriously_ needed to pass before Finn and his brain had been full of judicial and legislative and what-the-fuck-ever and he could feel his palms heating up at the memory of how frustrated he had been. He had been in need of a study break and R-

There it went again. Puck paused mid-stride once more, his brow furrowing in confusion as he tried to focus on what was seriously eluding him at the moment. There was something he was forgetting. Something big and it was seriously starting to piss him off.

"Tina!"

The Asian girl stopped in her tracks as she was leaving the infirmary that Artie was currently housed in. She furrowed her brow at Puck and demanded angrily, "What the fuck? Do I have to knock you out again?"

"You're seriously going to bring down my rep if you keep kicking my ass," Puck grumbled. "I'm _bored._ You can't expect to contain 212 degrees farenheit in a gym all day."

"If you're going to start calling yourself 212 degrees farenheit, I'm going to kick you," Tina promised him.

"Whatever, 212 degrees farenheit is _hot._ And so am I," Puck smirked.

"I'm totally telling Rachel you're being a fuckwit," Tina scoffed. She realized her slip up and bit her bottom lip anxiously as she could see the wheels turning in Puck's brain. If this were a laughing matter she might have joked about smoke pouring out.

But this was not a time for joking. And there was _literally _smoke curling off of Puck's shoulders. His hands were clenched at his side as the name rolled around in his brain and he could feel something burning inside of him. Hotter and more painful than anything he had ever felt before. And his whole body had been on fire in the past. But this? This was so much worse.

"Puck, calm the fuck down," Tina ordered quietly, but forcefully.

"YOU CALM DOWN!" Puck shot back obnoxiously. He closed his eyes at the pain of it all and found that he was having trouble breathing. "What's wrong with me? What happened? Why-why does it hurt?"

Tina could sense his pulse weakening. This was something new. She could _feel_ his pain and his body's sudden distress. She panicked and closed her eyes sending out a telepathic call.

_Rae-Rae? You need to get down here now. Puck is freaking out. If I knock him out again he's going to get concussed. _

"Dammit!" Puck cursed as he doubled over in pain. The lack of oxygen to his lungs was becoming a dire situation, but he couldn't help but think that he should **know **who Rachel is. He should know. He didn't want to forget before. It was all right there, why couldn't he just put it together and remember? A blast of wind coursing through the hallway made him straighten his posture and open his eyes. If Blaine had zipped out to him, maybe his brother from another mother could help him out.

"Noah," Rachel whispered, looking up at him with tear filled eyes.

A calm overtook him immediately. It was instantaneous as soon as he met her eyes. It was all there. She was okay. He remembered everything. He remembered their baby...his eyes trailed down to the swell of the baby bump and he smiled.

"Noah? Do you remember me?" Rachel asked.

He looked back up at her for a brief second, his eyes scanning her face before settling on the inspired cleavage the pregnancy was causing. He furrowed his brow. "Should I?"

Rachel bit her lip and tried her best not to burst into tears. She had felt his relief. She had felt him _remember_ her. And then, poof...it was gone.

"Hey, don't cry-should I remember you?" Puck wondered. "I mean, you're gorgeous, I'd remember you. Fuck-oh shit, did I? We didn't have a one night stand a couple of months ago, did we? Cause I kind of have a track record with this stuff..._shit._"

Rachel sniffled as Puck approached her, and she felt the need to blip away, back upstairs to where her fathers were trying to help the rest of the community research. The only people affected by the memory loss had been the Gleek's who had handled the suspicious Chinese take-out menu. Tina and Schue had been immune for some unknown reason. Brittany and Artie hadn't touched it. Brittany had assured Rachel that it wouldn't have mattered if she had touched it, because they were best friends and she could never forget her. Also because her brain was far superior to the other Gleek's, as Brittany had joyously explained.

"I'm sorry if I did something. Please don't cry," Puck whispered as he approached her. He reached a finger out and held it under her chin. He felt terrible that this gorgeous, pregnant chick was quietly crying because of something he said or did. He just wanted to make her feel better. It felt wrong to see her cry. It felt like it was hurting HIM to see her cry.

Her wavering, watery eyes finally met his and he felt like there was literally a choir of cherub faced angels singing one loud glory note because he remembered. He knew. He knew this girl. He knew it was his Rachel. His hand rested against her cheek, his thumb wiping away a tear that had fallen out of the corner of her eye.

Blaine popped in with a gust of wind and Puck turned to glare at his friend for interrupting his moment.

"Told you that you'd want to you know," Blaine smirked, winking at Rachel playfully.

"What?" Puck looked back down at Rachel, who was smiling patiently at Blaine. He let his hand drop from her cheek and tried to put on his best swagger face. "Hey babe. I dig milfs."

"UGH!" Rachel's face screwed up in frustration. She looked at Tina and said, "Knock him out again."

She was gone with a burst of wind and Blaine was shocked at her disappearance.

"How does she have my power?" Blaine wondered. "Who IS that girl?"

"Sorry, Puck," Tina shrugged, looking at Puck without one ounce of sorry written on her face. "You're totally going to get a concussion."

"Blaine?" Puck muttered.

Blaine's eyebrows shot up, surprised at the use of his real name from his friend. He understood as Tina advanced on Puck, ready and willing with her fighting stance. He gripped Puck's forearm and demanded, "Where do you want to go?"

"I want to follow that girl," Puck said seriously. "I get the feeling like I should know her, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it," Blaine nodded. He waived at Tina and gripped Puck's forearm.

"See you Asian fists of fury!" Puck cackled as they blustered out of the hallway in a gust of air.

"Isn't Asian fists of fury redundant?" Blaine wondered as he and Puck stood together in that blank white space that he always went to before blipping back into reality.

"Whatever dude, take us to the milf," Puck demanded.

"Okay," Blaine nodded. He paused and held up a finger as suddenly his mind went blank. "One problem."

"What?"

"I don't know if I can get us out of here now. I feel like I forgot."

* * *

Next up: Chapter 65 - "Thursday I forget about you. It's Friday, I'm in Love."


	65. Chapter 65

****Hello gentle readers. I'm not dead yet. And this story and others aren't finished yet, so, here I am. A little late. I offer my profuse and humble apologies. Thank you for reading and putting up with my shenanigans.

The chapter title is taken from the Cure's "Friday I'm in Love"

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

**Chapter 65 - "_Thursday I forget about you. It's Friday, I'm in Love._"**

* * *

_Time space continuum's are a tricky thing. There are entire branches of nearly every nerd-dom that has ever existed that are solely devoted to analyzing and studying the mind-dizzying conundrum that is time, space and everything. And the world's governments? Forget about it, Germany has 1,000 employees constantly testing the aptitude of 10 year old's that may some day be able to slightly understand how time and space work._

_If Blaine Anderson had been born in Germany, he would have walked into a classroom one morning when he was ten and mulled over a seemingly simple test. His number two pencil would have flicked through everything (except the space relation math problems, those had always been his sore point). He would have arrived at question 47 eventually. And the answer he would have made and the little bubble he would have filled in would have alerted 1,000 employees of the German government that he, in fact, knew **everything**_.

_Now, if only he could remember._

* * *

"How long have we been stuck here?"

Blaine looked up at the tense, _growling_ Puck and fought back his wince. Any sign of weakness in front of the enraged fireball would certainly be preyed upon immediately. Now was a time to be strong. To be sure. To give no reason to have a flaming fist buried violently into his mid-section.

"Could be a minute, could have been five months," Blaine shrugged.

_That was definitely not what he wanted to come out of his mouth_.

Blaine immediately held up his hands in surrender as Puck's clenched fists ignited. He hightailed it away from the straight version of himself whilst emitting a high pitched screech that was **certainly** not dapper, smooth or anything resembling a Dalton Academy Warbler. It was gratifying however to have Puck bellowing a guttural, primal shout that sounded quite like a Dragon Ball-Z sound clip as he chased him around the utterly empty and blank white space.

Blaine was quite content to simply be chased around like the Roadrunner to Puck's Wile E. Coyote. Because he _knew_ he wasn't getting out of the transitional white space any time soon. He could sense it. This was a perfectly useful distraction so that he and Puck wouldn't have to dwell on being completely and totally stranded in Nowheresville, Time and Space. Win win win.

And then Puck started to throw fire balls.

"HEY!" Blaine screeched, his voice still in a screeching, un-Warbler-esque falsetto. "WATCH THE HAIR!"

"Afraid I'll light the Schuester levels of gel you still have in there?" Puck bellowed as he tossed another fire ball dangerously close to Blaine's rather wild looking curls.

"You know I stopped gelling it three days after we got our powers. Lesbian Blaine said it was hotter au natural!" Blaine scoffed as he expertly bobbed and weaved as only someone who had been ridiculously bullied half of his life could. If the super-powered Glee club had been able to last at school long enough, Blaine probably would have impressed all of them with his slushie evading skill.

"You used to shellack your hair! Rachel once said that your hair wasn't bio-degradable anymore after all the shellacking!" Puck roared as he threw out another ball, aiming carefully so that it flew just inches above one of Blaine's more unruly curls.

Blaine stopped dead in his tracks, turning in an almost graceful, Fred Astaire manner, his breath catching in his throat. He opened his mouth to say something when Puck finally caught up to him, tackling him to the ground. Puck's eyes glared at him menacingly as their noses squished together. Blaine squirmed a little as he felt Puck's still too hot hands on his chest.

"Mmmppph," Blaine managed to mutter. "Hot hot hot."

"Please try to remember that I'm _straight_ Blaine," Puck grumbled, still not moving and allowing his hands to smoke against Blaine's chest.

"Kurt is incredibly possessive. He's not going to take the explanation for the hand shaped burn marks on my pecs," Blaine smirked. "And shit...once Rachel hears..."

"Holy _shit_!" Puck breathed. He grinned down at Blaine, not giving one inch of personal space back. "DUDE, I'm totally going to kiss you now. You figured it out!"

"Breath mints before kisses," Blaine grumbled. "Kurt always binaca's up."

"**Rachel** says I'm naturally minty," Puck grinned before bringing up his still luke-warm hands and placing them on each of Blaine's cheeks. "Get ready gay Puck..."

"**DADDY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO UNCLE BLAINE? Mom and Uncle Kurt will NEUTER YOU."**

"Adelaide!" a hiss was heard, causing both Puck and Blaine to turn their head to the left into the white nothingness where someone who looked an awful lot like Rachel Berry with Puck's nose stared back at them wide eyed while a boy who _definitely_ had Artie's ears clamped a hand over her gaping mouth.

"Well..._shit_," Puck muttered.

* * *

"I know that you're hiding something from me."

"Wow. The mind-reader is trying to get at my eternal secrets. Okay, I'll spill. I coined the term Yentl. Sorry?"

Rachel narrowed her eyes as Schuester looked up from the laptop he had been inexpertly typing away at. She walked quickly into the room, her hands clenched into fists at her sides, looking very much like she was getting ready to talk his ear off about how much she should lay down harmonies that should be pumped through the sound system at the next Glee concert because her harmonies went with her solos much more perfectly than the actual Glee club's. Schue snapped the laptop closed and raised a brow at her.

"I expect to retain some amount of privacy, Rachel," Schuester muttered. "I've seen a lot of things over the centuries. A lot of atrocities. Please forgive me if I want to spare you from getting at all of them."

"Cut the crap, Schue," Rachel hissed. She took a small moment of victory as Schue's eyebrows shot up into his hairline at her candor. "We have a brain dead vegetable who tried to melt us with purple oozing acid laser bolts in our infirmary. Next to him is a human ginsu knife who we are keeping on a steady dose of sleeping aides so that he doesn't shred us to pieces. I am pregnant with a child who wants to swear constantly and shoots lasers from his eyes and not one of my friends can remember who I am. And every time Noah tries? He nearly kills himself from the effort. You have answers. I know you do."

"Tina and Brittany remember," Schue countered. He shrugged and added with a large dose of reluctance. "I remember."

"Well, forgive me for not reveling in your memories of hinting to the Cheerio squad that I should have the nickname of Yentl," Rachel snidely countered. "I need more from you now, Will. And if you don't give it to me? I'm going to take it."

"You can't get that far into my mind," Schue scoffed. "It's buried so deep I don't even remember it."

"I don't need to go into your mind, you marvelous idiot," Rachel nearly giggled. "My friends may not remember my name, but they still care for me immensely."

To prove her point, Rachel beckoned with her right index finger and the coffee in Schue's mug rapidly flowed out of it into a straight line. The steaming hot liquid curled around Schue's head before she let it splash against his shirt. The first immortal grimaced in annoyance, but Rachel wasn't quite finished. She snapped her fingers, purely for the dramatic effect of course, and suddenly the coffee imbedded in his shirt _boiled_ in the very fabric it was trapped in.

Rachel arched an appropriately devious eyebrow that her Noah, Santana or Blaine would have been proud of, if they could remember her. Her eyes dropped ever so slowly to the laptop that Schue had just closed. He followed her line of sight and immediately went for the computer, picking it up quickly before throwing it down with all of the force and violence he could muster. The sound of shattering plastic did little to calm him however, as he looked back up at Rachel.

Her face was calculating as Kurt's powers over technology combined with Brittany's super brains and she suddenly had her answers. She looked back up at Schue in horrified disgust.

"You can't know what it was like back then," Schue whispered.

"I don't want to hear your excuses," Rachel snapped. "We're going to Germany. _Now_."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

Next up:

Chapter 66 - "Be Good to Your Daughters, Daughters Will Time Travel Like You Do"


	66. Chapter 66

Happy Saturday everyone! I'm feeling awfully productive today. I've finished this chapter and am going straight to work on the next bit of writing. Thanks for being so kind and patient and over all awesome.

The title lyric is taken from John Mayer's "Daughters". I hope you like it!

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

**Chapter 66 - "_Be Good to Your Daughters, Daughters Will Time Travel Like You Do_"**

* * *

_Young men always remember that moment when they meet the person who fathered the object of their affection. _

_The following feelings and emotions run through the young men's minds like bad Taco Bell through your digestive system. _

_**Fear**. Anticipation. Sweatiness. More Fear. Hyperventilating. Mild Naseau. Uncontrollable sweating. Hidden tears from sheer terror. Unicorns. Fountains of sweat dripping out of every pore. Light-headedness. Night terrors that aren't night terrors because you are awake and in front of the man who fathered the girl and/or boy you wish to defile. And now you're **thinking** about said object of affection and how awesome their butt is and how you TOTALLY grazed it with your fingertips when you held open the door at school for the yesterday and it. WAS. **AWESOME**. And shit, now you're going to die by sweating to death, choking on your own vomit and then this dude in front of you is going to wrap his flaming hands around your neck and choke and burn you to death._

_This has been a highly specific look into the mind of Rudolpho Pierce-Abrams. _

* * *

"Daddy?" Puck whispered, looking up from where he and Blaine were sprawled out on the expanse of cool, white flooring in the transitional space that Blaine usually blipped through while teleporting. He looked down to Blaine and realized just how close he had been to smooching the crap out of his friend. He hopped to his feet and shook his head in confusion. He pointed to the girl and said, "Mini-Rachel?"

"Not quite, I have plenty of qualities that are purely my own. I'm not a carbon copy of my mother!" Adelaide huffed.

"Kind of going against the point you're striving for, Ade," the young man who standing right next to her. He smiled fondly at her before sparing a glance Puck's way. _Shit_. That was not a good glare to have aimed at you. He made his eyes extra-big, knowing that he inherited his mother's perfect puppy dog stare. He felt himself start to sweat and quickly checked Puck's hands for fire, knowing that back in the future, the Adelaide's father's favorite past time was turning up the heat on him.

"Not him this time, you assbucket," Adelaide muttered, her heated hands that she had inherited from her father reaching up and pinching Rudy on his bicep. "ADMIT THAT I'M A SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE!"

"You're a special snowflake!" Rudy yelped. "You're more than the sum of your parts, you're excellent, you're awesome. WOMAN! THIRD DEGREE BURNS!"

"You did _not_ just call my daughter _**woman**_," Puck grumbled, his hands re-igniting with flame.

"This is highly amusing," Blaine observed from his seated position on the ground, he held his chin in his hands as his eyes darted back and forth between the kids from the future and Puck. He looked to Rudy, who was sweating profusely and looking between Adelaide and Puck with a decidedly green-tinged look on his face. Blaine hopped to his feet and clapped his hands together dramatically, eager to give the clearly panicked kid a break. "All right, people. Let's figure this motherfickle out."

"Fickle, really?" Puck snorted.

"Your kid and Brittany's kid is present, and Brittany and Rachel don't like swears, so I'm pretty sure the other kid doesn't need to hear it," Blaine defended himself.

"Every time you dropped the _f-bomb_ in front of us, my mom would plot your doom," Rudy nodded, his voice barely above a whisper. He held up a finger quickly as a realization dawned on him, "I foiled her plans at least two dozen times. You liked me for a really long time..."

"Until you started calling my awesome and amazing special snowflake daughter _**woman?**_" Puck guessed.

"Yeah, you kind of plot my doom every breathing second you have," Rudy sadly acknowledged, his downcast nervous face nearly identical to Artie's at that point.

"I like the future," Puck shrugged. He looked back to Adelaide, who was rolling her eyes at the teenaged version of her Dad in utter exasperation. He smiled at the girl and could see that although she was Rachel's spitting image, there was quite a bit of his mannerisms and expressions. He gave her his best stern look and demanded, "What are you guys doing here, anyway?"

"Making sure that Mom doesn't bite it," Adelaide shot back. "I told Uncle Artie to pass it on to everyone NOT to forget Rachel. And what happened? EVERYONE forgot anyway!"

"Your Uncle Artie is in a medically induced coma to recover from his surgery," Blaine piped in helpfully. "I'm feeling confident now that he'll make it through, since you know, he manages to knock Brittany up without Santana killing him. Resilient little guy."

"Okay, so that was bad timing," Adelaide bit her lip in thought.

"Well, we remember your mom here," Puck revealed. "I remember everything here."

"That's good. Because we need to come up with a plan, and quick," Adelaide revealed. "Cause Mom is heading out with Will Poopster and we need to make sure they don't walk to her doom. You know, cause he still can't die properly yet and he'd just as soon use her as a human shield so his hair doesn't get mussed."

"He can't die properly YET?" Blaine repeated.

"Ade!" Rudy scolded.

"It's really freaking hard to censor what I should and shouldn't say! I can't keep all these stupid timelines straight. That's your job, dumbo!" Adelaide huffed.

"Okay, before my future daughter burns you, I think its time to plan up. We need to get our people here, where we can all remember my Sparky," Puck interrupted before the kids could bicker more. He definitely felt that the comfortable bickering was just as bad as any heavy flirting would be. "Then we plan up and go and help her out before she gets hurt. Cause I like my kid and I totally want to see her in baby form someday..."

"Problem though," Blaine screwed up his face in thought. "I'm pretty sure we'll forget Rachel as soon as we blip back into the real world. How will we remember to come back with the troops?"

"I can do it, I can go," Adelaide volunteered. "Leave Dad here with Rudy and Uncle Blaine and I will go and get people."

"Uhm, well-" Rudy hedged his eyes darting up to Puck and then back to Ade with tremendous fear. "I don't know if that's a good plan, you should stay here with your Dad and catch up and I'll go with Uncle Blaine."

"Catch up? I'm still a couple years out from being born yet, Rudolpho, I don't know how much catching up we'll be able to do," Adelaide scoffed.

"Ready, Uncle Blaine? Let's go!" Rudy grabbed Blaine's hand and shuffled from foot to foot impatiently. The quicker he got his mom here, the more safe he would feel from fists of fiery fury.

* * *

"How much longer is he going to be out?" Jesse wondered as he sat next to Santana by Artie's bed. Brittany had just stepped out to obtain more Pringles, as she had already demolished two cans. She had claimed each time that they were for Artie, because he loved them, but the sour cream and onion dust all over her fingers and lips told a different story.

Jesse and Santana had been given very specific instructions before she had headed to the kitchens for more snacks. Santana was mostly told to carry on being her fabulous self. Jesse had one highly specific set of instructions. _Do not mention Rachel Berry in any capacity_.

"We feel all wrong as a trio. We're clearly meant to be a quartet. I mean, if Tina and Rachel teamed up, shouldn't his healing be-_shit_," Jesse breathed. He looked to Santana anxiously and literally felt his pulse beat up with anxiety as a myriad of conflicting emotions tore across Santana's face.

"Rachel," Santana whispered. She looked to Jesse, panic winning out over all the other feelings tearing through her at the moment. She shook her head and felt her breaths become short and haggard even though she had just been sitting for the past ten minutes. "Rachel..."

"No, San, no, I didn't say that," Jesse shook his head adamantly. "I didn't say anything, I said Tina. I'm just...I slipped and I certainly didn't mean to panic you. Just...calm down please. Breathe deeply. As if you were about to sing one powerful, slightly scratchy in a sexy way, glory note."

"It should be there, where is it, why is it missing?" Santana demanded harshly. She held a shaking hand up to her head as if to concentrate hard enough to find her missing memory of her friend and former foe. She took a deep gasp for air and said, "This isn't good. Get Tina...I-"

A whoosh of wind blasted in the room and Blaine was staring thoughtfully at Santana, on his arm was a tall young man, who looked eerily like Artie. Blaine rushed to Santana's side and shook her roughly as she gasped and wheezed for air.

"Santana, breathe, it's okay," Blaine insisted. "We're here to-I can't remember. But I think we're here to help."

"Hey Dad," Rudy said softly as he stared at Artie in the hospital bed. He looked to Jesse then and smiled at him, "Hey Dad-squared!"

"What in the Andrew Lloyd Webber is this?" Jesse wondered, staring at Artie in endless fascination. "Squared?"

"It's complicated. Look...we have to get back. Uncle Blaine is getting side-tracked," Rudy shrugged. "See you in a bit..."

With that Rudy placed a hand on Blaine's shoulder and one on Artie's foot as he lay in the bed. He squeezed Blaine's shoulder and helpfully suggested,

"She'll be better if we go to that place...remember?"

"Not really, but let's try anyway," Blaine shrugged.

Jesse's eyes widened even more as Santana, Blaine and the unnamed boy whooshed out with a gust of wind. He looked to the bed and Artie still lay there, as comatose as ever. The door to the room opened and Brittany hopped in with two new can's of Pringles. She frowned and demanded,

"Where did Artie and Santana go?"

"Santana left with...with Blaine and someone I assume is, well I can't even make a valid assumption," Jesse blinked in confusion. "What kind of moniker is Dad-squared, Brittany?"

"A fun one!" Brittany grinned. She looked at Artie and said, "Where did Artie go?"

"He's laying right in front of your face, Brittany," Jesse insisted, his hand gesturing dramatically towards the sleeping Artie.

"No. No he's gone too."

* * *

"Care to tell me where we are, Mr. Schuester?" Rachel asked gently as her eyes roamed over the beautifully picturesque hills that were blanketed with a fresh white coating of snow.

"We're in freeze-town, population, me," Schue answered shortly as he shivered in his shoes. He glared at Rachel and said, "Not all of us have human furnaces growing inside of us, Rachel."

"All the better to get this whole business done and over with, then," Rachel nodded determinedly. "Just tell me why we're here. This was what you were looking up on your laptop."

Will sighed in exasperation, knowing intrinsically that Rachel wasn't going to give him an inch of leeway here. He could continue to get freezer burnt, or he could just get the whole mess over with. He looked at the vague shape of a large building in the distance and took a deep breath before finally revealing something he hadn't revealed to anyone else in the world.

"We're in Germany. After the whole _fiasco_ in Paris during World War Two, this is where they took me," Schue admitted. "I had nothing left to live for."

"You don't have to make excuses for anything you did," Rachel whispered, her tone kinder than it had been in weeks towards him.

"I bargained with them and gave them what they wanted. In return I got a clean slate. A set of parents that thought I was there kid, an opportunity to start over," Schue shrugged. "A new name. A family. A family in more ways than one. After I was done here, they set me up with the Schuester's. They truly still believe that I'm their son."

"But that was the 1940's...how long-" Rachel paused. She shook her head and held up her hands to his head tentatively. "Mr. Schuester, may I please have permission to delve into your mind?"

"You're not going to like it," Will said softly.

"It has to be done," Rachel bit her lip and placed her hands on either side of Will's head. She took a deep breath before delving in, with no barriers or walls to hold her back.

She swayed on her feet as she felt the trembling of the earth beneath her. The earth fairly _shook_ with the pain and horror that was inside Mr. Schuester's mind. Torture. It was pure torture. And not just for a few hours.

It lasted decades.

She broke the connection less than a minute later and nearly fell to her knees in pain. Will gripped her elbow and held her steady. He had tears in his eyes as he looked down at her face. He took in a short gasping breath as he held his tears at bay and offered by way of an apology,

"I didn't know...I didn't know what they were after until it was too late."

"The Shiro Frieden," Rachel whispered as she gathered her wits about her. "They tortured you-"

"They called it experimentation and research," Schue corrected. "For thirty years."

"I'm sorry, Will," Rachel sniffled. "I'm sorry for what they put you through."

"I signed up for it," he acknowledged gruffly.

"What were they after? What did they want that they had to cause so much damage?"

"Incoming," Will pointed in the dark distance, where indeed two heavily armed guards were advancing upon them. "I wish you could access Mercedes' power so you could hide us."

"Not necessary," Rachel shook her head, gripping Mr. Schuester's forearm as she transported them out of the cold and into a darkened corridor. She felt him tense as he realized where they were. "We have to figure out what they did and how to stop it. I can't live my life without my friends knowing who I am."

Schue felt a pull come from Rachel's touch, his energy leaking from him at a slow pace as Rachel tried to pull whatever she could get. He shook his head and said, "We don't work that way Rachel. I'm not your fire. How weak are you?"

"I'm not that weak," Rachel shook her head. "It's just been a while since I've had access to Noah. I just need a little...pick-me-up."

"You need a _pick-me-up_ and you've drug us here? The headquarters of the Shiro Frieden, who have managed to do God knows what with what they took from me in the thirty years since I've been here?" Will asked incredulously. "You need a little five hour energy to get you through the most dangerous place in the world for us? This is ridiculous!"

A jolt of electricity ran through the both of them, as if they had just gotten a rug burn shock. Rachel threw up a forcefield as they looked up at the newcomers. A trio of young people, a little older than Rachel herself. One young man had a hand that was sparking with electricity. Another girl held out a hand and was clearly draining the energy and power from Rachel's forcefield. And the last was a girl, whose biceps were ridiculously large and was currently cracking her knuckles as she looked at Will and Rachel as if they were the most delicious set of punching bags ever invented.

"What's up grandpa?" Electricity girl asked, her words tinged with a British acccent. "Come to visit the big happy family?"

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

We're getting ready to kick into some more action in the next few chapters. We'll finally learn what Schue's been up to and who their new enemy is totally. I think. Who knows? I hope to see you more this hiatus with more updates. Hopefully the little gerbil in my brain that turns this stuff out will continue to be productive and helpful. Have a great weekend!

Oh, next chapter you ask?

Chapter 67 - "You Treat Me Like Your Father And That Feels Rough"


	67. Chapter 67

Totally updating when I said I would...PROGRESS! YAY! Good evening gentle readers. Here we go again.

The song lyric is of course from Gotye's fabulous song "Somebody that I used to know". Go and listen to this song. It's gooooood.

* * *

**Misfit Toy Hero Squad**

**Chapter 67 - "You Treat Me Like Your Father And That Feels Rough"**

* * *

_Parenthood is a scary thing_.

_From the moment you find out that either you or your respective partner or surrogate or petri dish are incubating that little bundle of cells, you are in full, red-alert terror mode._

* * *

_What if you, the surrogate or petri dish do something small and insignificant that completely affects the bundle of cells that you are desperately trying to cultivate into a full grown human being? What if you accidentally sip some caffeine, or inhale some little known but super common chemical that will totally derail all the hard work you put into making the tiny thing?_

_And then, when you do get the tiny thing born, it needs to actually stay alive. Feeding, sleeping, pooping, cleaning, flossing. All of these things are instrumental and you haven't even dipped your tiny baby toe into the deep end yet. _

_Because even the most idiotic of people can create a live, birth a life and let that life thrive physically. _

_But getting a person to be well-adjusted and normal...that's difficult. Only 2.5% of the Earth's current population is actually well-adjusted and normal. 80% of the Earth's population (i.e., probably you reading this right now), are just trying not to snap._

_And then we have the rest of the 17.5%._

_They're fucked._

_And quite a bit of the 17.5% were born out of Petri dish. _

_In Germany._

_And they didn't stand a chance. Since their "father" was stuck in a choir room in Lima, Ohio at the time._

* * *

"See the way I see it, is that people who abandon their family shouldn't-"

Electro-boy's sneering words towards Schue were cut off as a viciously violent red laser beam shot at his head, grazing the side of his head and causing him to scream out in pain. Rachel blinked and the beam subsided but her heated, angry glare remained.

"I don't want to hurt anyone," Rachel said resolutely.

"Like you could," ridiculously muscle girl scoffed.

Rachel snapped her fingers and the water pipes above their attacker's heads burst, water raining down on them in a surprisingly powerful downfall.

Power suck girl laughed and said, "This is what the original powers are? A light drizzle?"

Rachel wrinkled her nose slightly and arched one eyebrow as the water she held at her command quickly heated, reaching boiling in just a few seconds. The three enemies shrieked in pain as they fled away from the insanely hot water that was pouring down on them.

"I don't want to hurt anyone," Rachel repeated. "But I will not hesitate in doing what needs to be done."

"She really doesn't, I've seen her sing Run Joey Run," Will nodded. "You better bring back better reinforcements!"

Rachel swatted Will in the gut and glared at him. "We don't WANT them to send reinforcements, Mr. Schuester!"

"Eh...we'll manage somehow."

* * *

"Delivery!" Rudy called out as the tell-tale blast of wind announced their arrival in the white space.

"Artie?" Puck asked incredulously, his face a complete mask of shock and awe. For right in front of his face, his shoulder gripped in Rudy's tight grasp, was Artie _motherfucking_ Abrams. **WALKING**. _**STANDING**_. "Are you future Artie?"

"Uhm...no?" Artie wondered. He looked around for Rachel or Brittany, keen for them to tell him what the hell was going on. "Where's Rachel?"

"Jesus fucking Cheese on Cracker fucking toast, I FORGOT Rachel!" Santana shrieked. She pointed at Puck and said, "You guys are like reincarnated soul mates and you forgot her! YOU SUCK!"

"Easy Mamacita," Rudy smirked. "You all forgot her."

"RUDOLPHO!" Adelaide hissed. "X-nay on the Amacita-may. You're going to spoil everything!"

"Yeah, RUDOLPHO!" Puck smirked at the boy. "Stop spoiling shit."

"Leave him alone!" Santana smacked Puck upside his head. She looked to Artie curiously and pursed her lips. "Why do I feel so protective over Rudolpho?"

"I think Brittany or Rachel could tell us," Blaine figured. "Cause when the kidlets start talking we learn all about the future we didn't want to know about."

"Stop calling us kids, we're YOUR age," Rudy huffed.

"Kid, you have two fireballs over there, one of which is HALF Rachel Berry, totally ready to fry your ass," Blaine scoffed. "Don't piss me off too. Now come on, we've got people to whoosh."

* * *

"How's your energy?" Schue wondered as they walked quickly down the corridors of the enemy's vast complex.

"Fine," Rachel replied shortly.

"The boiling was pretty fast and that water busted through steel," Schue reminded her. "Even Santana struggles with busting it through steel, Rachel."

"I'm FINE," Rachel insisted. "I just want to get to the super powered freak that is responsible for my friends forgetting me, and I want to kick their behinds through into motherfickling yesterday."

"Nice fake swear," Schue nodded slightly in feigned appreciation. Rachel glared at him with suddenly red eyes and he held up his hands. He ground out in a monotone, bored rant, "Don't let your bastard child fricassee me. It won't do any good and will only waste your already _limited _energy_. _Heads up, I think that kid can defy gravity. Literally. Please don't sing."

The teenager in question was advancing on them from the opposite end of the hall, his arms raised to shoulder level at either side.

"He's very stiff, he's worse than Finn, and I didn't think that was possible," Rachel muttered.

The boy clenched his fists and chunks of concrete from the floor broke off in perfect discs, they hovered in front of him before zooming towards Rachel and Schuester. Rachel bent her body at an unnatural angle, liquifying her ribs for a split second. The concrete zoomed by her as she straightened out, but the gravity defying make-shift weapons found a home on Will Schuester's chest. He made a small grunting noise and Rachel looked back at him curiously.

"I'm sorry. Did Mr. Invincible justsay _Owie_?" Rachel mocked.

"Good to see the inner bitch didn't get left out during reincarnation," Will rolled his eyes. He nodded towards the approaching attacker and asked, "Do you expect me to take care of this guy?"

"I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself," Rachel muttered as she jumped into the air, avoiding another round of discs as she too hovered, defying gravity courtesy of Sam's flying skills. She sped through the air until she was within reaching distance of the clearly surprised young man. She drew on all of her strength and pushed against their attacker's chest with both hands. Thanks to Finn's super strength, gravity boy went flying back fifty feet, straight into the wall at the end of the hallway. She sang exuberantly, "_You're never gonna bring me down_!"

Schue looked at her in extreme annoyance. "I've asked this of the heavens a million times before. But please. Kill me now."

* * *

"Incoming!" Rudy announced. "See you Aunt Tina! Uncle Mike!"

Rudy and Blaine blipped out. Leaving again to go and retrieve Finn and Mercedes. Sam and Quinn had already arrived on the last trip and now the majority of the Glee club was standing dumbstruck in the white space, alternating between staring at Adelaide and staring at a standing, walking Artie.

"Artie!" Tina and Mike chorused in unison.

"You look badass, dude!" Mike congratulated.

"What's it feel like?" Tina wondered.

"Uhm, crazy," Artie shrugged. "And not quite real yet. I know that I'm still back there, in that room. My body is still in a coma. My real legs aren't quite there yet."

"But they will be," Adelaide whispered to her Uncle. "I promise."

"Spoilers, kiddo," Santana warned.

"Half of you know it already, when you came to the future before," Adelaide shrugged. "It's what screwed everything up in the first place."

"Adelaide!" Finn announced as she arrived in the white space with Mercedes, Rudy and Blaine. He rushed over and ruffled her hair. "You got bigger."

"It's been twelve years, since I saw you last Uncle Finn. Of course I got bigger," Adelaide explained patiently. She looked back to the other Gleek's and shrugged. "Half of you came to the future. Something there went wrong. Rudy and I are trying to fix it..."

"And if you don't fix it?" Puck demanded.

"You've seen Back to the Future," Adelaide shrugged.

A silence took over the room as they all realized that the future they had thought was so secure was now hanging by a tether. Adelaide looked to the past version of her father, looking so very much like her mother at that moment that Puck could swear that his heart broke. He hated to see that look of anxiety and fear on Rachel's face. To see it on his future daughter's face was unbearable.

"We're not there yet, obviously. We're here," Rudy insisted. "And there's still a lot of stuff to do...we're not disappearing photographs yet."

"That's my boy," Artie smiled. He held up a finger and wondered, "Question? Why can Finn remember when he was the first to forget?"

"Mysteries of the universe, Daddio," Rudy shrugged. "Some things just can't be explained."

* * *

The pile of unconscious bodies strewn through the hallways of dark facility were beginning to hit the double digits. Rachel had been taking care of most of the super powered freaks, but every once in a while, Schue would manage to get in a couple of therapeutic blows. They reached a set of metal doors and exchanged a wordless nod.

"How do you know, though?" Schue wondered.

"I can feel it. Beyond this door is the person that's causing all this trouble."

The sound of trite, single person slow clapping drew their attention, and Will and Rachel set their eyes on what could only be described as a ninety-year old Sue Sylvester in a white sports jacket. Her glinting, clearly evil blue eyes held a sense of wonder mixed with clear anger as she stared appraisingly at the intruders.

"Welcome to the Shiro Frieden's world headquarters, I am Strauss," she smiled, the gesture purely superficial. She clearly didn't want to be smiling at the at the moment. "I must admit, you caught us slightly unaware. We had no idea that this little girl existed. Her capabilities far outweigh a single one of our children's capabilities."

"Please don't say children," Will growled. "Whatever you did to me...whatever these kids have of mine...they aren't my children."

"They are your genetic descendents," Strauss disputed. "Of course they are your children. Well-to be honest, the first round of your children didn't turn out so well. These are more like...the second batch, if you will."

"You're vile. And disgusting," Rachel murmured. "These are people. What are you doing with them?"

"None of your business, anomaly child," Strauss shot back. "You may be strong, but my sources tell me you are greatly weakening. You may be able to take one of my children. But not all of them."

Will shuddered, knowing that it was true. What happened next was something he would never be able to explain, even if he lived three hundred more years.

He gripped Rachel's hand.

And suddenly the flood gates opened and he could feel his energy sapping completely. He could feel every part of him opening up as he willingly (even though he still loathed everything and everyone) gave her every last bit of acceptance he could.

A few seconds passed, although between the two of them, it felt like every second, ever tiny minute that Schue had lived. Everything was there. Every thought, every emotion, ever ounce of power.

Rachel felt something that had been missing since her last lifetime appear in front of her and she grabbed it, with absolutely no intention of ever letting it go.

The moment passed and Rachel dropped Schue's hand as he staggered backwards. She flew forward and before anything could happen, before Strauss could even inhale, Rachel's hand was around Strauss's throat, crushing against her windpipe in a very uncomfortable manner.

"Give me the person who is making my friends forget."

* * *

"Time to go...time to go NOW, Where's Blaine...let's go!" Puck hollered, startling Adelaide as she jumped in place next to her dad. "Sorry kitten, but we have to get a move on. Sparky needs us."

"What do you feel? How can you feel ANYTHING here, it's nothing," Quinn disputed.

"I just feel...she's using Schue. That means its a last resort kind of thing. She's accepting Schue's...whatever, she did with all of us, she's doing with him now," Puck struggled to articulate.

"Don't be jealous. She loves you," Kurt insisted in a bored fashion. "No love triangles with creepy three hundred year old unvampirey vampires."

"I get it," Tina nodded, feeling it in her gut too. She looked to Rudy and said, "Go and get Brittany...let's go."

"No need," Rudy shook his head. He watched as Artie began to shake, commanding everyone's attention.

"Shit...that doesn't feel good," Artie grumbled, his voice wobbly and shaky. He groaned in pain and opened his mouth to warn his friends when suddenly he was _ripped_ from Blaine's transitional space. He let out a gutteral scream as his eyes went shut, the pain from his premonition echoing through his newly rebuilt spinal cord. He opened his eyes and Brittany was staring down at him curiously.

"How's Rudolpho?" she cooed, smoothing the hair off of Artie's sweaty brow.

"How do you..."

"Rachel can feel him, and she let me know," Brittany shrugged.

"Right...brain waves," Artie cringed as residual pain rocketed through his entire body. "These visions are going to suck if it hurts all the time...but, seriously, I hope that the others head to Germany. Like NOW. Rachel is going to need backup. No amount of Schue power is going to get her through that alone."

* * *

Thoughts? Theories? Questions?

I hope you enjoyed this! In the next week I hope to update my other works in progress before posting another Misfits chapter. Everyone form a prayer circle that the gerbil in my brain keeps working!

Next up?

Chapter 68 - "Never Would Have Run Through the Blinding Pain"


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